Protégé Chapter 17: I'm So Sorry, a star wars fanfic

Chapter 17 – I'm So Sorry

Tick…

That was a little on the nose, wasn't it? Padmé looked to the box fan with dry humor. She wasn't sure what was causing that sound. A loose screw, perhaps?

Yes, that would make sense. More than one, she reckoned.

Loose screws. That about summed it up.

Tick…

It had been a full week, or so Padmé estimated. In that time, Padmé had spoken to no one except Sola who came by every morning and evening to check in on her and the babies. She supposed she should be grateful the Jedi were allowing this. But it was hard not to be dismayed that she hadn't seen Anakin once since the Jedi took him away. She was completely in the dark. Had they imprisoned him? Or had they merely barred him from seeing her? At least this time she knew he wasn't avoiding her on purpose.

Tick…

She replayed her master's unexpected visit over and over in her mind. He had told her that the time had come. What did that mean? Would he be rescuing her soon? And what would happen to Anakin? She feared for his safety. He was in terrible danger. From Palpatine, of course, but also from himself.

He would stop at nothing to be with her and their children. She just hoped when they could finally be together again, she still recognized him as her husband.

It was hypocritical of her, in a way. But more than that, it demonstrated an intrinsic lack of faith in him. She didn't trust Anakin to be able to control the dark side like she did. She feared he would be consumed by it. Did she think herself better than him? More powerful? More controlled?

Yes. She did.

Padmé had been trained to control her power. Palpatine made sure of that. When she began her training as a teenager just before she assumed the throne of Naboo, her master emphasized to her the power of restraint, the necessity of self-control. Anakin had never learned those lessons, what with him coming to age during a period of galactic warfare. But even if he had been taught them, Padmé doubted he would have been able to control himself as well as she or Palpatine did. Anakin, for all the good that could be said about him, was not one to restrain himself. She admired that about him, but she also dreaded it. It made him reckless, dangerous.

The perfect tool. A wrecking ball. Exactly what Palpatine needed.

As she thought about this, Padmé sat on the cot with her son in her arms. She held a bottle to his lips and Luke was obediently suckling the formula. Sola had asked her if she would consider breastfeeding, but Padmé adamantly refused. She had exposed herself enough as is. The experience of having all the Jedi watch her deliver birth had been traumatic and one which she doubted she would ever get over. The incident, amongst countless others over the past few months, further congealed her hatred for this derelict Order. The galaxy would be much improved when her master defeated them.

"Alright, Luke," she said, removing the bottle from his lips and setting it aside on the cot. "It's your sister's turn."

She stood up to return him to his crib, but as she did, she caught sight of a figure standing in the hallway. Padmé stared at him with silent fury, motherly instinct compelling her to pull Luke closer to her chest.

"Kenobi," she snarled.

Obi-Wan entered her cell without asking for permission. He swiped his hand through the air, and the red ray shields reignited behind him.

"Why are you here?" Padmé asked.

Kenobi shook his head. "We don't have much time," he said.

Padmé froze. "Time for what?"

"In a few hours the Council will send half a dozen Jedi Masters to collect your children."

"No –" Padmé began, but Obi-Wan cut her off.

"The Council will then summon Anakin for his official testimony." Obi-Wan took a step toward her, and Padmé reflexively took one back. "He plans to tell them everything. When he does that, he will have no choice but to leave the Order."

"Good," Padmé bit out.

"Padmé, please. I need your help to stop this."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Kenobi? You are my enemy. I will never consort with you."

"Anakin will be throwing his life away."

"Is that how you see it? Choosing his family over the Order constitutes throwing his life away?"

"All this can be avoided."

When Obi-Wan took another step, Padmé shrieked: "Stay away from me!" Her eyes darted to the crates. Leia was ensconced in the second one closest to Obi-Wan. "Don't you touch my daughter! Step away from her now!"

"Padmé –"

"Do it!"

Obi-Wan complied, hands raised as he stepped back. Padmé cast him a contemptuous look before stepping to the cribs. She set Luke down in the empty one and released a shaking breath.

"I implore you to see reason," Obi-Wan said. "All you have to do is tell us who Sidious is."

"And then what?" she asked. Spinning around, she pointed a finger at Obi-Wan. "You think the Jedi would just release me? That they'd allow me to keep my children? That they'd ever let Anakin see me again? Don't be a fool, Kenobi. I know you aren't one."

"You have to make concessions, Padmé. If you at least cooperate with us, then maybe –"

"I will not negotiate with you! Don't you see? You want to ruin my life! You want to tear apart my family! You want to kill my master! You want nothing but my annihilation!" She felt herself swelling, her small stature billowing to an outsized presence, brawn in spirit, if not in flesh. The dulling effect of the Ysalamir was itself dulled, and for the first time in months Padmé felt the darkness building at her fingertips. She approached Obi-Wan, her eyes manically wide. "But you won't win, Kenobi. You won't. The Jedi Order will fall. You will fall. Everything you hold dear will be destroyed and you will be left with nothing! Nothing! And only then will you understand what I have been through! What I have endured!"

She could see in his eyes that Obi-Wan only now realized that she indeed was a Sith. It had previously only been abstract to him, something he only ever knew to be true in theory. But now he could see it for himself. And he was terrified of what he saw. His mouth hung open and his hands were extended defensively.

"Padmé, I…"

He couldn't speak. He just stared at her, at her shining eyes, at her immense vulnerability. Could he see himself in her? Padmé had never thought of it before, but she and Obi-Wan were a lot alike. He was a Jedi and she was a Sith, but beside that, they were similarly motivated and similarly constrained. Both cared deeply about Anakin and both thought they were doing what they thought would protect him. Both were powerful, but ultimately powerless, mere puppets of others – she to Palpatine, he to the Jedi Council.

Obi-Wan bowed his head.

"I'm so sorry."

As he turned to leave, Padmé felt the power at her command ebb away, inhibited once more by the Ysalamir. She shrank into herself, shoulder slumping and knees buckling. She was so very tired.

"Obi-Wan," she called.

He was just about to leave, one step out of the cell when he stopped. He didn't look at her, but Padmé knew she had his attention.

"I'm sorry too."

She meant it. She didn't hate him. No matter how many times she said it, Padmé didn't consider Obi-Wan her enemy. Not really. He was a Jedi, but she knew there was more to him than that. He may be indoctrinated and dogmatic, but Obi-Wan Kenobi was not a bad man. Nor was she a bad woman. They were both decent people trapped in a horrible nightmare.

And neither had the power to stop what was now inevitable.

Δ Δ Δ

As Obi-Wan had warned her, the Jedi arrived in her cell a few hours later to take her children away. Padmé wanted to scream. She wanted to retaliate. She wanted to do anything! But she couldn't. All she could do was watch as they sealed the cribs and took Luke and Leia away.

"You still have the opportunity to cooperate," Windu said.

Padmé was silent, catatonic.

Windu shook his head with disgust. "You're making a mistake."

Was she? She had placed her faith in her master. He had never let her down before. She knew he would protect her. What she didn't know was what he would do with Anakin. But between two terrible options, Padmé would choose Palpatine every time.

So she waited. Lying supine on the cot, she waited. Resting her weary eyes, she waited. Hands rested over her now-flat stomach, she waited.

And as she waited, the walls around her seemed to disintegrate, the confines of her cell disappeared, the world at large revealed itself to her.

She could see everything. What was happening, what was coming.

And it was terrifying.

Δ Δ Δ

Anakin Skywalker, we have called you to speak before this Council on the subject of Padmé Amidala.

I will no longer live a lie.

We have no choice but to strip you of your title as Jedi Knight.

I understand. And in exchange?

We have considered your request and have decided to deny it.

What? But we had a deal!

We never agreed to anything, Skywalker.

Obi-Wan, you promised!

Anakin, I'm sorry.

You're sorry? You betrayed me!

Leave your lightsaber on the floor, Skywalker.

You'll pay for this! You'll all pay!

We'll see about that…

…

...

...Ah, Anakin my boy. Thank you for agreeing to speak with me.

Of course, Your Excellency.

You do not look well. Tell me, what is the matter?

I… I can't –

It is because of the Jedi, isn't it? Because of what they did to your wife?

How –

They betrayed you. They turned you against your wife. They took your children away from you. And now they have forced you out of their ranks. I know, Anakin. I know everything.

You…

Yes, Anakin.

You're the Sith Lord!

I am your only hope…

...

…Palpatine thinks General Grievous is on Utapau.

Act on this, we must.

Master Kenobi, you will deal with this.

With all respect, Master Windu, I believe I would be better suited to remain on Coruscant.

And why would that be?

I sense something terrible is about to happen.

Does this have to do with what Amidala told you?

In part, Master. I believe she knows something.

She may, but there is little point in waiting. The capture of General Grievous is too important.

Bring an end to the war, it will.

Are we in agreement then?

What about Ahsoka Tano?

What about her?

Will she be released?

When you return from Utapau, the Council will discuss this matter.

Very well, Master…

...

…I have something for you, my boy. The Jedi took your lightsaber, did they not? I took the liberty of crafting you a new one.

You're too generous, Master.

The time has come. The Jedi Order will burn and you will be reunited with the one you love.

Yes, Master.

Do you have doubts?

No, Master.

Do not lie to me, Anakin.

I don't know if I can do it. I'm not strong enough.

Do not speak of strength. Speak of anger! Your anger will make you strong. Think of what the Jedi did to you. What they did to your mother. What they did to your wife. What they did to your children. They are your worst enemy, Anakin. They are the galaxy's worst enemy! You are on the side of justice, of righteousness, of love. Together, we will prevail. Together, we will have victory!

Yes, Master.

Do what must be done. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough to save Padmé.

I believe in you, my boy. The time has come.

Execute Order Sixty-Six.

Δ Δ Δ

Padmé woke up in the dark.

That wasn't out of the ordinary. She usually woke before the lights turned on anyway. She didn't sleep much as is. But today was different. Today she saw in her peripheral vision a faint red glow. In an environment where any change was of note, what with the cell being a blank, devoid space without variability or discrepancy, Padmé was immediately intrigued. As she turned her head toward it, Padmé felt her neck groan in protest. How long had she been asleep? It felt like days. Could that be possible? She did feel rather parched, as if she hadn't had anything to drink for quite some time.

She stood up from the cot. It was much easier for her now that she wasn't carrying two children with her everywhere she went. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she approached the windows. Out in the hallway she saw a pulsing strobe light, bathing her surroundings in cold red colors. What could that be about?

And then she heard something. Voices? Screaming, more like. Where was it coming from? Padmé's heart began to beat very fast. She backed away from the windows, seeking security in her cell.

An explosion rocked the prison ward. Padmé lost her footing and fell onto the cot. The screaming grew louder and she heard the distinctive staccato of blaster fire. What was happening?

But she already knew.

"Hold them off!"

"There's too many –"

Bodies thudded to the floor, followed by pounding footsteps. Padmé couldn't breathe. She held a hand to her heart and sat like a statue.

"Let's move! Go, go, go!"

A half dozen clones emerged in the hallway. Padmé watched with wide eyes as they blasted the control panel to her cell. The red ray shields vanished with a hiss.

"Senator!" the clone commander called. She recognized him by his armor.

"Rex?" she said faintly.

"Are you alright, ma'am?"

"I…"

"Captain Rex, sir! We have Tano."

"Good work, Jesse." Rex entered the cell. "Let's go, Senator."

Padmé could only nod dazedly. "Where… where is…"

Rex grabbed her wrists and all but dragged her to her feet. "We've got to go," he said.

"Where's Ahsoka?"

"Sir, the Ysalamir!"

"Hold on, Senator." Rex released her and strode over toward the viewport. "Blast it boys!"

Padmé held her hands to her ears as the clones opened fire at the unsuspecting Ysalamir. She watched, half in horror, half in jubilation, as the creature fell from its tree, dead. As soon as it hit the ground, Padmé felt herself decompress, as if an overwhelming weight had been released from her shoulders. The Force surged to her finger tips. Power swirled around her, impenetrable darkness like the sort she had never experienced before. Her fear and apprehension vanished in an instant, replaced by a resounding triumph. Without knowing what she was doing, Padmé lifted her hands into the air.

The glass windows smashed into a million pieces, causing the clones to yelp with fright. Padmé ignored them as she marched past. She swept her hand to the side and brushed the innumerable shards of glass away. Her bare feet were unbloodied against the cool floor.

"Tano," she said, turning back to Rex. "Where is she?"

The clone stared at her in astonishment for a moment before regaining control over his tongue. "Right this way, ma'am."

The clones formed a defensive formation around her. Padmé appreciated the gesture, but they did not need to protect her. She was more powerful than she had ever been. With the darkness as her ally, Padmé felt invincible.

They made their way down the hallway for about a hundred yards before they arrived at a second cell. There she saw Ahsoka surrounded by her own contingent of clones.

"Padmé?" she called, eyes shining with fear. "What's happening?"

Padmé pushed past her honor guard and beckoned Ahsoka to do the same. When they were together, Padmé pulled the scared girl into an embrace.

"This is it," she said when she pulled away. Holding Ahsoka's forearms, Padmé gave her a squeeze. "We're free now."

"But the Jedi –"

"Have been defeated."

Padmé spun to the voice. There he was, standing in the hallway, his figure shrouded in the darkness, trimmed by a red outline from the strobe lights.

"Padmé," Anakin said.

She rushed forward and threw her arms around him. She found herself clawing at his back, nearly feral in her desperation to be united with him.

"Anakin, Anakin," she said over and over.

"It's okay, Padmé," he said. "It's over now."

It wasn't. Not even close. But she couldn't bear to think of that now.

The couple held each other tight, swaying slightly, containing their tears only because of all the eyes on them. Amidst the bloodshed and carnage, still firmly trapped in the nightmare, at least they had each other again.

Now Padmé would have to do everything she could to keep it that way.

Author's Note: I wasn't originally going to post today, but the announcement that Hayden Christensen is returning as Vader got me so excited I had no choice but to churn out a new chapter for you all. Would it be too much to ask for Natalie Portman to return as well? Maybe just for a teensy little flash back scene? That would be amazing! But anyway, thanks for reading, as always. Padmé may be out of the cell (finally!), but she's not out of the woods yet. The next few chapters are going to get crazy!