In the intelligence briefing this morning, the eagle scouts reported giant raids on the northern border. I have been keeping a record of these, and noticed their increasing frequency. I summoned Peter and we laid out the situation for him.

'Our outposts in the north will soon be overwhelmed, and you know the marshwiggles don't provide much in the way of their own defences,' I said.

He rubbed his chin, and then along his jaw. 'There's really only one answer, isn't there? We have to ride out,' he said.

'It's the only definitive answer,' I said.

He leaned over the maps and reports, his eyes scanning them. 'We'll need to bring a large contingent with us. The question is more who stays behind. It's possible to get mired in against the giants.'

'You'll want to keep some battalions back then, to refresh the troops,' I counselled.

Peter nodded heavily. Then he pushed himself back from the table with a roar of frustration. 'Why now? We are being pulled to the north and to the south. What's next—a threat from the East? Telmarines attacking from the west?'

I laughed a bit. 'Don't go giving the Telmarines too much credit. They live pretty much in anarchy,' I said. I laid a hand on Peter's shoulder. 'We'll figure it out. There isn't a problem we haven't solved yet.' He looked at me and gave me a nod, his mouth in a grim line.

We called in the girls. Lucy volunteered to ride north, and of course Peter quashed that at once. She's desperate to fight, and he refuses to let her. I don't quite understand his reasoning, but he is very firm on the matter and has only allowed her to go as a medic—and that was after a very protracted negotiation involving reasoning, wheedling, and foot stamping.

'I'm riding north with Peter,' I said. This seemed to me the obvious choice.

'No,' Peter said. 'You're going to Calormen with Susan. Lucy is staying here to watch over Cair Paravel and Narnia. I ride north alone.'

Lucy and I erupted with protests, but Peter put his hand up. 'Enough. It must be this way. The giants need dealing with—this cannot wait. Susan cannot go alone to Calormen.'

'Send Lucy then!' I cried.

'Even so, you could not ride north with me. I will not leave Cair Paravel unattended. As such, Lucy is better suited to watching over affairs at home.' Lucy and I both opened our mouths to protest again, but Peter cut across us with, 'In Aslan's name, let this be so.' And then everyone in the room—even me—echoed 'In Aslan's name, let this be so,' and the secretaries started scribbling it as an official pronouncement.

'Well, that's that then,' I said, and I stood up and kicked my chair out of the way before I stalked from the room.

Susan tried to stop me, but I wrenched open the door and went to hide on the Western battlements. From that distance I could see Lord Peridan's house, and that day I cursed him for being such a bloody coward when there was nothing to be afraid of.

After I stewed for awhile, Peter routed me out. He leaned against the battlements facing me and just looked at me.

'I've assented to your pronouncement, but that's all you'll get from me,' I said, not looking at him. Instead I tried to make out the workmen building the Manor House. 'I'm not going to suddenly fall in love with the idea.'

'I'm not asking you to,' Peter said. He was being his calmest and most thoughtful, which made me raise a brow at him.

'Look, Ed, you know it's got to be you, don't you?'

'Because I'm the diplomat and blah blah. It didn't even occur to you that I don't want to go, did it?'

'Not just because you're the diplomat—although there is that. Think about the alternatives, if Lu or I went.'

I did think. They wouldn't take Lucy seriously at all, and of course she would rail against that. At best they would laugh and swat her away like a fly. Meanwhile, Susan would grow more frustrated, and therefore more stubborn in her supposed like of Rabadash.

Then I thought of Peter going. He would make a better show. Rabadash spoke reverently of his father, falsely wishing him everlasting life, but there wasn't a person in the world Peter couldn't beat in a staring contest. I lost them to him often. That said, he would dig his heels in, and the dislike for Rabadash which he was barely concealing would grow more apparent. Susan would grow frustrated, and therefore more stubborn.

I sighed heavily.

'You see it, don't you?' Peter said.

'It's all well and good for you pair. You just get to walk around saying what you think all the time. Must be nice,' I said.

He laughed, and I glowered at him. 'Oh, come on, Ed. You act as though you can never speak your mind when that's what you do all the time.'

I huffed again. 'I meant in public anyway.'

'Well, if we don't have you and Susan to play diplomats, where are we then? And you know I need you to play the diplomat with Susan as Lucy and I never could. This won't work out.'

'I know,' I conceded. 'If she's Queen of Narnia and his dreams don't come true and his father doesn't live forever…'

Peter gave a wry smile before he turned and looked out over the landscape. 'Not only that, Rabadash is a bad match for her. She won't be happy. Narnia will lose; she will lose. You have to make her see that, and bring her home.'

No pressure, then.

This trip may well be the death of me. We had to put together an envoy, and Lune and Corin got wind of it and Corin started begging to come. I had hoped Lune would put a stop to that, but no luck there. He confessed to Peter that such a trip would confer some responsibility on Corin, since he would be visiting another country as Crown Prince of Archenland, and yet wouldn't ask too much of him, since there was someone to outrank and school him.

Meaning me.

As if anyone has any control over Corin anyway—he acts on pure whim. So how am I supposed to work on getting Susan to come back if I have to keep half an eye on Corin at all times?

Lucy has tried to cheer me up by saying that Corin might be a grounding influence on Susan, but that's little comfort when I keep envisioning him defiling the altar of Tash or setting fire to the Palace or tumbling through the streets leaving a wake of chaos behind him.

Lucy's convinced Tumnus to come, which is somewhat reassuring, and I thought Sallowpad might do well. He takes a very pragmatic view of situations, although some would call this maudlin. This is a moment for bleak truths, should we need them.

As it happened, Susan's fears came to pass and Peridan and Rabadash both made it into the final bout. The court whispered; Rabadash sneered; Susan fretted. Peridan, however, kept his head down and seemed to ignore all of the talk.

We went through the pageantry of the final bout. Peter was well out of sorts. I could tell he wanted to be fighting, and when Susan bestowed her favour on Rabadash he clenched his hand into a fist.

Lucy decided to be perverse, and as soon as Susan gave the favour to Rabadash, she gave one to Peridan, who accepted with grace. As the combatants took their places, Susan wheeled on Lucy.

'What do you mean by that?'

'Exactly what I said to Peridan. The Narnian champion shouldn't fight without a royal favour.'

'But that isn't the whole story, is it?' Susan hissed. 'You don't like Rabadash, and you are trying to provoke him.'

Lucy didn't say anything. She didn't look guilty either.

'Will you just leave off?' Susan continued through gritted teeth. 'You don't like him or trust him, but can you name one thing he's done that's unkind or dishonourable? This whole week, he has been nothing but the perfect gentleman, making every effort to get to know me and Narnia.'

Lucy set her mouth in a thin line. 'The way he looks at you—'

Susan huffed. 'I wouldn't expect a kid like you to understand what desire is.'

I whistled. 'That's a bit of a low blow, Su. Do any of us really understand desire?'

Susan tossed her hair while Lucy glared at her. Peter was pretending he didn't hear any of this, I pondered my own rhetorical question. I had felt desire, or so I thought. In the heat of the moment, with a woman who clearly wanted me. But that wasn't really what Susan was talking about. She meant…lusting after someone. Wanting them even when they were not near. Trying to get to them. I hadn't ever felt that.

I had another flash of the bacchanal before the maenads, that glimpse between the trees.

Peridan was walking straight-backed into the centre of the ring. He was always so cool on the outside, so proper, so perfectly mannered. Yet I knew that underneath simmered wit and irreverence. He couldn't have felt desire for Susan, though. Was he in the same boat as me, not really knowing anything about it at all? I wondered what it would be like to have a friend to understand.

Rabadash had come to fight. He left off most of his showiness and unleashed pure ferocity. Along with his thrusts and parries, he taunted Peridan ceaselessly. I heard snatches of his voice from across the arena, never a whole jibe but enough to understand the gist. I glanced over at Susan to see what she thought, but she was absolutely still, gripping the railing of the royal box as she watched with flinty eyes. Of all of us, she puts on the best mask.

Peter gasped. 'Oh, that was a good pass!' He cried, applauding Peridan. 'He holds up against the scimitar better than any other Narnian,' he added, studying Peridan's moves further.

I squinted at Peridan. Clearly he had been trained against scimitars. Does that come from growing up in the Lone Islands? How much Calormene influence is present there?

I was halfway through this musing, when Rabadash seemed to catch Peridan under his armour with the tip of his scimitar. Peridan grunted—I could hear it across the arena, and Rabadash's taunts which followed. I knew Peridan had lost the match then. He was off form, and then Rabadash sliced his arm. Before I could call attention to this, Rabadash was on top of Peridan, and Peridan yielded.

Rabadash bowed and flourished to a smattering of polite applause. Susan let out her breath and the colour came back into her cheeks. Rabadash strode over to her and made a ridiculous, flowery speech about her beauty inspiring his courage. I only half listened, because I was watching Peridan. He snatched up his swords and stalked out of the arena instead of coming to receive his honours in second place. I'd never seen him fail in manners before.

But I understood. I remembered his speech about proving himself. No doubt he would consider this a failure despite having earned the respect of nearly everyone. Peridan probably held himself to a very high standard, and thus always fell short. Sometimes my poor temper comes from never being as good as I want to be.

I turned my attention back to the ceremony and gave Rabadash some cursory congratulations.

'Your Majesty is most kind,' Rabadash replied. 'A pity Lord Peridan did not stay to witness such beneficence.'

I saw that he hoped I would slight Peridan as well, but I remained impassive. Rabadash's face was such an odd mixture of pompousness and pride and an overeager desire to win the day, win the world. And behind all that, relief that he had won. The wheels started turning in my head.

As everyone filed out, I plucked Lucy's sleeve. 'Come on,' I said with a jerk of my head.

'Where are we going?' She said, picking up her skirts and trotting to fall into step beside me.

'To see Lord Peridan,' I answered. 'He never got his congratulations.'

She smiled slyly. 'What have you got in mind?' She asked me.

'Why should I have anything in mind?' I answered.

'Because I know you,' she replied.

'Alright then,' I conceded. I drew her away from the crowds to a quiet spot behind one of the tents. I murmured, 'Have you noticed that Peridan rattles Rabadash?'

She thought a moment, then her eyes widened. 'He does, doesn't he?'

'Exactly. So—how if he came as part of the envoy to Calormen?'

'Edmund, that's genius!' Lucy cried. Several people turned at her outburst. I put my finger to my lips and drew her further on, keeping an eye out for Peridan.

'It's only genius if he's suited to come. If he doesn't want to—it is a big ask after all, or if he's not willing to work for the same goal, it won't work. I want to find out.' I took Lucy's hand to guide her through the surge of people.

'It is brilliant, of course,' said Lucy, more quietly this time. 'So why do you look so unsettled?'

I glanced at her, pursing my lips. 'If you could learn to keep yourself in check, you'd make a great diplomat. You have a talent for reading people.'

'Just you,' she answered. 'So—why?'

I stopped behind a tent and sighed. 'Is this really fair to Susan? She says she wants to find things out for herself. To purposely throw an obstacle in her way…'

Lucy considered this, her eyes downcast as she gripped her chin. After a moment she raised her head. 'It's a bit grey, I agree. I don't know that it's wrong. I mean, it would be if Peridan were in love with her and would cause problems, but just having him there is like giving Rabadash enough rope to hang himself with. Susan is so different with Rabadash. Anything to bring her back to herself would be welcome.'

'But do we really know better?' I pressed. 'Maybe she sees something in Rabadash we don't.'

Lucy shook her head. 'Perhaps if one of the three of us liked him I might say that's the case. But none of us trust him, and we are all of us sound judges of character. She's had her head turned. Maybe she's right in that I don't know much about desire, but I do know love shouldn't change a person.'

'Maybe you're right,' I said. 'I just don't want to do the wrong thing—even if it is for the right reasons.'

She laid a hand on my shoulder. 'Then let Peridan's reaction be your compass. We know him to be a man of honour.'

I nodded.

We did some searching and uncovered him in the medic's tent, sitting up with his arm bandaged and his eyes shut. He looked so young like that. It reminded me how young we all are.

'So here you are. Not like you to not observe every rule of behaviour on the books, Lord Peridan, I must say,' I said to announce our presence.

Peridan's eyes flew open, and I caught only the briefest flash of vulnerability before his mask was up and he was making to stand. I put out a hand to stop him. 'No need,' I said, and as he sat back, Lucy and I both took chairs to make him more at ease.

I opened the conversation. 'You didn't allow us to congratulate you, my lord.'

As expected, a shadow passed over his face. 'I didn't see that there was much to congratulate. I lost.'

'But you fought well. Still I couldn't help but notice that Rabadash rattled you.'

He drew even further into himself, twisting his fingers and dropping his eyes. I had the strange impulse to lay my hand over his.

'Because here's the thing,' Lucy said. 'He rattles me too. And Edmund. But we can't quite say why.'

Peridan raised his eyes and looked between us. 'It isn't jealousy.'

'I know,' I said, perhaps too swiftly.

'It is…his teeth are too white.'

Lucy laughed. 'Yes, that's it exactly, isn't it?'

'How can that be it?' I demanded, half smiling myself.

Underneath this glib response, Peridan had done some careful observations of Rabadash's character which essentially amounted to all of his niceties being a facade. In Calormene, Peridan revealed, he conspired with members of his train about the Narnian court. When I questioned him about this, it happens that Peridan speaks Calormene.

I tried not to show my eagerness, so I started to pace. Lucy gave me a significant look to emphasise her point from earlier. Peridan mentioned of his own accord the problem I had spotted early on—that Rabadash was set to rule Calormen and Susan already ruled Narnia.

His incisiveness settled me. I turned to him and said, 'Lord Peridan, I would have you come with us. Your keen judgment is exactly what I need. But I will in no way force you, and you will lose no respect should you decline so dangerous a mission.'

He didn't hesitate. He met my eyes with his clear green ones—I hadn't noticed before the extraordinary colour of them—and answered in his quiet voice, 'I could not turn away from such a duty. My service is yours, Sire; do with me what you will.'

This gave me a little shiver, though it's hard to say why.

I had some satisfaction in insisting Peridan join the delegation. Susan was aghast, of course. 'Edmund!' She cried as we sat around creating lists in preparation. 'How could you?'

'It is a very odd choice,' Peter said, pulling a face.

'We need a diplomatic train,' I answered, 'And Lionshaim is one of the highest ranking houses.'

We went back and forth on the topic, and I listed my reasons: he was excellent at diplomacy, he knew Calormene ways better than anyone at court (I left out that he could actually speak Calormene, lest Susan think we were spying). I did, however, point out that if Rabadash couldn't handle Peridan's presence that said an awful lot about him. Also, in truth, part of me wanted to annoy Susan because she was annoying me so much.

'That is ridiculous,' Susan said. 'Peter you know how this looks. Rabadash knows well what was between me and Peridan. You can't allow him to go.'

I dug in my heels. 'I'm not going if Peridan's not going,' I said.

'That's ridiculous,' Susan spat. 'What even is he to you?'

'I've just said,' I answered. 'A valuable diplomat.'

'You have no feeling,' she said, her eyes filling. 'You're always so bloody minded.'

'Maybe I am,' I said, folding my arms and staring her down.

'Enough,' said Peter, 'We are asking much of Edmund, and I trust him to know who and what will serve him best. Peridan goes. That's final.'

Susan burst into tears and rushed from the room. I almost felt bad, but then I remembered her calling me unfeeling and bloody minded and I started feeling less charitable.