Another chapter. Thanks for reading. bambers2:)
Chapter Eleven
One year ago . . .
Sara was everything Riordyn could have hoped for in a lifemate. She was kind and soft spoken, and once she started eating properly, he found her to be attractive. And even though he had to constantly reassure her that the life they were forging together was real, he couldn't find fault with her. In everything she did, she tried to please him, and at first it endeared her to him. From the clothes she wore to how she styled her hair, she wanted his opinion and approval. Still for as loving and sweet as she was, he couldn't bring himself to utter the words to bind them together nor could he make the last two blood exchanges with her.
For as hard as he tried, Riordyn found it almost impossible to stay away from Jenna for more than a few hours a night before he returned to her. At first, he convinced himself he was only spending time with her to help her find her lifemate. Every night they would start out looking for her lifemate, but much to her growing aggravation, he would always find some reason to stop.
Tonight was no exception. He'd spent only an hour with Sara before the lure of Jenna so close by drew him away from his lifemate. "I will not be gone long," he uttered, lightly brushing his lips against Sara's. "I must feed, and make certain the vampire I have been hunting is taken care of once and for all," he lied once again to her, and mentally cursed himself when she looked at him so trustingly.
"Be careful, Riordyn," she said, grasping hold of his hand as he tried to slip away from her. "If anything happened to you, it would destroy me."
"I know, little one." He forced a smile to his lips. "You have nothing to fear. I will always return to you." At least that much was the truth. No matter how much he desired Jenna, he would never leave his lifemate. And no matter how difficult it was for him, he vowed he would never give into the lustful feelings riding him hard whenever he looked at Jenna. "Perhaps it would be best if you slept until I returned," he added, using the melodic tone of his voice to lull her to sleep. Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to bed, and gently laid her down. "When you awake, I will be here."
Her arms circled his throat, drawing him closer to her. As she claimed his mouth in a deep kiss, she whispered into his mind. When you come home, can we make the second exchange? I have waited so long, Riordyn – so many lifetimes . . . until we are truly lifemates, I will never find peace.
I can do no other than to see to your happiness, he replied, stomach churning at the idea of permanently binding himself to her. When I return tonight, we will do as you ask. With another strong mental command for her to sleep, he broke the kiss, and dissolved into mist.
For as guilty as he felt, it didn't lessen the speed in which he raced to get to Jenna. Like almost every other night, he found her swimming naked in the steaming pool. Without her aware of his presence, he stood mesmerized watching her glistening body move gracefully through the water as if she were a beautiful sea nymph. Stomach muscles tightening, his body grew hard with desire.
"Again you tempt me beyond reason, love," he murmured, helplessly drawn to the edge of the pool. For the sake of his sanity and honor, a bathing suit materialized to cover her body. "Had I known you would bewitch me so completely, I would have run from you the first day we met."
"You're supposed to make your presence known." Jenna splashed a wave of water in his direction, soaking his clothing. Swimming to the edge of the pool, she rested her forearms on the ledge. "I've had a good feeling all day, Riordyn," she said excitedly. "I think we're going to find my lifemate tonight."
"That would be best for all concerned." With a tight lipped smile, he crouched in front of her. "But I fear there are no other Carpathians besides myself in the area," he lied convincingly. Earlier in the week, he sensed the presence of three male Carpathians traveling through the area in search of vampire, and purposely kept the information from her. Cloaked by the intricate safeguards he learned from Andras and his wife Jinn-Si, he watched them without their knowledge. Tonight they hunted far to the west of Riordyn's two lairs, but it was only a matter of time before they made their way into the mountains. "Besides, I cannot stay long tonight. I have vowed to make the second exchange with Sara tonight and speak the words to bind us."
"I see." Her radiant smile faded quickly to a frown. Pushing away from the ledge, she kicked water up into his face as she swam to the far side of the pool. "Then why did you even bother coming?"
"If I could stay away from you, I would," he answered honestly, and in a blur of motion, he dove into the water and caught hold of her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he drew her to his body. "Better had I turned vampire than to betray my lifemate, yet I cannot help myself. I crave you with every breath I take, sίvamet."
"Then claim me as your own, Riordyn," she breathed, brushing her lips against the pulse in his throat. "The only reason you're even with her is because you saw some stupid colors when you looked at her. That isn't love, Riordyn. What you feel for me is – I am your lifemate, but I can't live like this much longer. It's tearing me apart inside."
"She is the light to my darkness," he uttered, eyes fluttering closed as her teeth grazed back and forth against his pulse.
"If that's true then why don't you love her?"
"I will learn to love her."
"Wow, that's real romantic." With a huff, she pushed away from him, and dove under the water. When she resurfaced, she hopped up onto the ledge, and twisted her hair to wring it out. "You make it sound like a job. Sure it sucks right now, but if you stick with it long enough you might just learn to enjoy it."
"That is not how it is. I care very much for Sara." Wading over to her, he took a seat beside her on the ledge. "I am certain once I have spoken the words to bind us, our love with grow from there." He pushed the dripping clumps of hair out of his eyes, and heaved a weary sigh. Even though he didn't feel the cold the way humans did, goose bumps rose on her arms. A thick soft towel appeared in his hand, and he wrapped it around her. "Why is it that you never think to have a towel handy when you take a swim?"
She shrugged while picking some imaginary piece of fluff off the towel. "I'm tired, Riordyn."
"Would you like me to leave?" he asked even though it was the very last thing he wanted to do. Once he left he wouldn't be able to come back until the next rising, and then only after he spent a fair amount of time with Sara. "I want to stay."
"Then never leave me," she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes as she rose to her feet. The towel slipped to the ground followed by her bathing suit top. "You are my lifemate, and I refuse to share you with another woman. If you can't give your whole heart to me then leave and don't come back."
As she spoke, his eyes lingered on her firm breasts then traveled lower to the lacy edge of her bikini bottoms. "I am afraid I can do neither." Cursing under his breath, he shot to his feet, pulled her into his arms, and captured her mouth in an ever deepening kiss. To my own damnation, you own my soul, sίvamet. I cannot survive without you – please let that be enough.
Jenna snaked her arms up between the two of them, and pushed him away. "It's not enough." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held out her arms in front of herself and backed away from him. "I would give anything and everything to be with you while you expect me to be happy with what little you're willing to give in return. I can't live like that – I won't."
Anger and desire mingled within him, tightening within his chest. "You are being unreasonable," he growled, incisors lengthening of their own volition. "I have put my lifemate second for you –"
"No, you did that for yourself!" she spat, breathing hard. "You keep her safely tucked away so you can feel like you're doing the honorable thing – you have no honor! If you did, you wouldn't keep me hanging on when you know in the end you will choose her!"
"There was never any choice to be made," he snapped, clenching his fists. "You are just a mentally unstable girl I found in a mental ward – my responsibility to you is nearing an end, and then I will be free to love my lifemate as I should!"
Drawing in a sharp breath, she clamped her hand down over her mouth, and ran into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her. From behind the closed door, he heard her muffled sobs, and cringed. What did I do? The damning words had tumbled from his mouth without any conscious thought. Leaning his head against the door, he grasped hold of the door knob and found it locked. "I didn't mean it, Jenna. You have to know you mean everything to me." He waited, listening for her to respond, but only heard more crying. "Please open the door, csitri," he begged, swallowing hard around the thick lump forming in his throat. "All I want to do is love you . . . please let me love you."
He stood staring at the door for the longest time before he finally gave up and turned to leave. I will return upon my next rising.
I won't be here. Come morning, I'll be gone, and you'll be free of me.
Where will you go?
As far away from you as humanly possible.
It won't be far enough, love.
Trust me, it'll be far enough, she countered, and in his mind he heard her broken hearted cries. I am tired now so please go.
Hearing the utter anguish in her voice, he hesitated. No matter how much he wanted to keep her with him always, he was destroying the person she was. If that is your wish, I can do no other than to let you go. If you choose to leave, I will not look for you. Not wishing to hear her response, he closed himself off to her, dissolved into mist, and fled from the cavern before he changed his mind.
Resolved to build his relationship with Sara, he gently woke her the moment he returned. Lightly brushing his fingers through her hair, he smiled down at her. "I have not been a very good lifemate," he murmured, grazing his lips across hers. "If you will forgive me, I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you."
"You haven't done anything wrong." Wrapping her arms around his throat, she wove her fingers through his hair. "I'm trying real hard not to be afraid whenever you leave to hunt vampires, but now that I've finally found you, I'm afraid I'm going to lose you."
"You will not lose me, little one. You are my lifemate, and I will do whatever it takes to prove myself worthy of you." Consciously pushing thoughts of Jenna from his mind, he lowered his head, and scraped his incisors against the pulse in her throat. "I claim you as my lifemate. I belong to you. I offer my life for you. I give you my protection, my allegiance, my heart, my soul, and my body. I take into my keeping the same that is yours. Your life, happiness and welfare will be cherished and placed above my own for all time. You are my lifemate, bound to me for eternity and always in my care."
The moment he spoke the ancient words of his people, he felt invisible strands pulling tight, binding them together for the rest of their lives. His heart constricted painfully, and again Jenna came to mind and refused to leave. Lowering his head to Sara's throat once more, he sunk his fangs into her flesh. He drank enough to make the second exchange, hoping his feelings would lessen for Jenna once Sara came fully into his world. When he finished, he sealed the wound with a swirl of his tongue, and then sliced across his chest above his heart. "Drink, love, and be mine."
Her teeth grazed along his skin while she held his gaze. His stomach muscles tightened as she bit in deep and drank his blood. Pressing his eyes shut, he imagined it was Jenna drinking in his lifeblood. Sara licked the wound closed, and rested her head against his chest. "You have made me so happy, Riordyn." She sighed contentedly. "I've waited countless lifetimes for this moment, and it's better than I ever imagined."
She would not think that if she knew I wished she was someone else. "Now you need not worry anymore that anything or anyone will come between us. I only wish I could have found you sooner." If he had, he never would have stumbled upon Jenna, and would be completely free to love her the way she deserved to be loved. I am so sorry, Jenna. You will always own me, heart and soul, but I cannot tear you apart any longer.
"I want you," Sara murmured, shyly glancing up at him through veiled lashes. "I know you are giving me time to recover from my illness, but I want you so much . . . I-I've never let another man – I waited for you."
"Are you certain?" As he waited for her to answer, he groped for a good enough reason why they shouldn't make love. There wasn't one. She was his lifemate, and her happiness came first. "You've been through such an ordeal I do not want to risk your health."
"I'm certain." Sara sat up on her knees, and slowly removed her dress, revealing the lacy bra and panties she wore beneath her clothes. She was still far too thin, the bones of her ribs clearly visible with every movement she made, and he made a mental note to make certain she ate more. Although small, her breasts were perfect and her ivory skin flawless. Yet he still compared her to Jenna, and felt a surge of guilt race through him. "Make love to me, Riordyn." Her tone turned husky and alluring, and he felt the subtle mental push behind her words.
"You do not need to use your newfound abilities of persuasion on me, csitri. If you believe you are well enough to make love, nothing would please me more."
With a thought, his clothing along with her bra and panties disappeared. His arms circled her, and pulled her down to him. His mouth claimed hers as he shifted to lay half on top of her. Mentally reminding himself over and over again not to rush through her first love making experience, he kissed and nibbled at her breasts and then moved lower, to circle his tongue around her navel. "You are beautiful," he murmured huskily, trailing his tongue back up to her throat.
With a soft moan, her fingers wove through his hair. I need you inside of me. At the urgency in her voice, he gave up trying to take things slow. Capturing her mouth, he thrust his manhood deep inside of her, and cringed when he heard Sara cry out.
"I'm so sorry," he softly whispered, kissing away her tears. "If you want to stop –"
"N-no," Shaking her head, she thrust her hips up against his, driving him deeper into her. "Please don't stop."
From that moment onward, she set the pace, grinding her body against his as he thrust into her. Her nails clawed at his skin of his shoulders, leaving deep bloody welts that she licked at as if she craved his blood. Incisors lengthening, he sunk them into her pulse in her throat, and drank her in as her nails raked through the flesh on his back over and over again. Pain and pleasure mingled, and within the depths of her silver-blue eyes he saw not love but madness. She needed to see him feel pain to find pleasure. Blood dripped down his back, and coated her fingers. Wanting it to be over and done with, he moved faster and faster within her, her body arching upward to greet each thrust. They both cried out at nearly the same time, but instead of feeling the pleasure he knew he should be feeling, his stomach churned violently.
Unable to leave as he would have liked to do, he rolled over and lay next to her. With a soft sigh, Sara curled up next to him, and trailed her fingers down his chest. On the small of her back, he noticed a black scrolling A tattooed on her skin. His fingers traced the edges of the letter, and he opened his mouth to ask what it stood for when he heard Jenna cry out for him.
Another sudden sharp cry echoed in his mind, and shattered his soul. Jenna! The sweet aroma of her blood seeped in through every crack of his lair, filling the cavern. Instantly he pulled away from Sara, and leapt out of bed. Jenna, are you all right? As he waited for her to respond, he replaced the clothes he'd taken off. Answer me! he demanded when she remained silent, fear and dread building within his chest.
You ch-chose wrong, she uttered breathlessly. M-my curse is at an end . . . I will look for you no more.
What are you talking about? Sending Sara a sharp mental command to sleep, he raced for the entrance of the cave. What curse?
Every life I lived, I tried to find y-you before sh-she did, she cried, ripping his heart to shreds. I tr-tried so hard to s-save you.
Every life? Shivers racing down his spine, his breath left him in a rush. He launched into flight, and flew through the night at breakneck speed. Why didn't you tell me?
I-It doesn't matter anymore . . . you destroyed everything we could have had together . . . .
Tears stung at his eyes, nearly blinding him. With every second he felt her slipping further and further away from him, and even if he did reach her in time, it would change nothing.
You betrayed her in every way possible, came Sara's voice through their shared mental pathway. You spoke the words, binding yourself to me - you shared your blood, you shared your bed . . . as I suffered now you will suffer. You took Andras from me – I took everything from you.
Jinn-Si, he snarled her name, and cursed himself for not realizing Jenna was his lifemate before it was too late. I will kill you!
Oh, I don't believe you will. Her merciless laughter filled the night air. I am your lifemate. You are bound to me by your own words.
I do not care if I die. Without Jenna –
You may not care about yourself, but anything you do to me, you do to her.
She is dying – you cannot hurt her anymore.
You think not? Again her laughter rang in his ears as Jenna's cries grew louder.
Forcefully pushing Jinn-Si out of his mind, he dove downward in the sky and entered the tunnel leading to the cavern. In a blur of speed, he raced toward Jenna. The safeguards he had set in place for her had been dismantled, and now that he was close to the cavern he could hear the hushed voice of another man. Dissolving into mist, he came up behind the dark-haired man kneeling over Jenna's body. Quickly transforming back into the form of a man, Riordyn fisted a hand into the man's shirt, and yanked him away from Jenna.
"You will not touch her again!" he growled, slamming a fist into the smaller man's face.
"I meant her no harm," he uttered, holding his arms in front of himself to fend off any blows, but not to attack. "I was hunting two vampires in the area, and caught scent of her blood," he explained, amber eyes locked on Riordyn. "My only intent was to save the woman." He bobbed his head toward Jenna, and Riordyn noticed the deep long cuts in her wrists were packed with soil mingled with salvia. The ground beneath her was saturated with blood.
"She is not Carpathian." The man forgotten, Riordyn dropped to his knees, and gathered Jenna into his arms. Pushing his way into her mind, he forced her heart to keep beating.
"I am Conleth," he said, crouching beside Riordyn. "I am at your service should you need my help caring for your lifemate."
"Where are the other two men who were with you?" Riordyn asked as he reset and strengthened the safeguards around the cavern.
"My brothers left for Virginia last night, following the trail of several more vampires."
"And they left you behind?" Riordyn lifted a brow. "You cannot be more than four hundred years old."
"I am young, but I am a good hunter." As Conleth spoke, Riordyn worked to remove the healing soil from Jenna's cuts. "Why did you leave your lifemate alone and unprotected? I found not even one safeguard in place when I arrived."
"I betrayed my lifemate," Riordyn uttered, swallowing hard against the thick lump in his throat.
"That is not possible." He reached down, picked up a dagger lying on the ground, and held it up for Riordyn to see. The ruby red stone in the hilt of the blade pulsed and gleamed in the candlelight. "This is a mage blade. You allowed a mage near your lifemate?" His dark brows pulled together as his hand tightened around the handle of the blade. "Tell me this is not so."
"I have no time to tell you anything! She's dying!" Without waiting for him to respond, Riordyn closed his eyes and traveled outside of his body. In the form of white healing light, he moved quickly through her body, meticulously healing her skin, arteries, tendons and nerves. Do not die on me, Jenna. I cannot live without you. He repeated the words over and over, praying she would hear him. When he had done all he could to repair the damage to her body, he returned to his own body.
Conleth sliced deep into his wrist, and offered up his blood to Riordyn. "Take what I offer freely in order that your lifemate will live."
Weakened from healing Jenna, he accepted Conleth's blood, drinking just enough to replenish himself. With a swirl of his tongue, he closed the wound, and then cut into own wrist. He held it to Jenna's mouth, and sent her a sharp mental command to drink. Blood spilled down her chin, soaking into her shirt before she finally started to drink.
"You have done all you can for her." Conleth placed a hand on his shoulder. "Her heart beats stronger, and the color is returning to her skin. What she needs now is rest."
I will be here when you wake, sίvamet. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed. With a thought, her bloody clothing disappeared to be replaced by pajamas. I will do whatever I need to do to make things right between us, he vowed even though he knew she would never forgive him. Tears filling his eyes, he waited, hoping she would say something, but she remained deathly silent.
The sharp point of the mage blade poking into his back brought him out of the trance he had fallen under. "Now you will tell me how you betrayed your lifemate, and I will decide if you should live or die."
"Killing me would be merciful on your part, and I assure you I do not deserve mercy." Shoulders drooping, he nudged his head for Conleth to follow him out of Jenna's bedroom. "I did not save her tonight," he said, quietly closing the bedroom door. "I have cursed her to live with the knowledge of my betrayal."
"What did you do?" Conleth asked, gesturing with the blade for Riordyn to take a seat at the table. "I will know the truth of things before I decide your fate."
"My fate has already been decided." Riordyn laughed mirthlessly, slumping into the cushioned chair. He went on to tell Conleth everything to let him judge for himself that death would be merciful where he was concerned.
To his credit, Conleth listened without commenting, and heaved a heavy sigh once Riordyn finished telling him the whole story. "We must find a way to break the ancient words that bound you to the mage, and then destroy her."
"It will not change what I have done."
"You believed her to be your lifemate. Under the same circumstances I would have done no different."
"You are young, and I highly doubt you have had any dealings with mages before. I am an ancient, and should have known better. Time and time again, Jenna told me she was my lifemate, but I refused to believe her." His finger traced the rim of an empty bowl on the table. "I shattered her heart and caused her to –" With a low guttural cry erupting from deep within his throat, he swiped his arm across the surface of the table, knocking cups and bowls to the ground. Glass shattered then disappeared just as Jenna had disappeared from his mind. He couldn't feel her anymore. It wasn't as if she only shut him out in anger. That he could deal with. She was gone, leaving him stranded and utterly alone.
"You need to pull yourself together. Your lifemate needs you," Conleth reminded him, setting the mage blade down in front of Riordyn. "I have spoken with my brothers, and informed them I was needed here."
"Did you tell them about me?" If word got back to Rafe that he was still alive, he would come looking for him. He couldn't allow his brother to find out what he had done. Once again I have brought shame to our family name.
"How could I? I do not even know your name as of yet."
"It is Riordyn," he said after a lengthy hesitation, meeting the younger man's steady gaze.
"I know of only one Riordyn amongst our people, and he is said to be dead." His eyes strayed to the knife he had placed in front of Riordyn. "When I was young, my brothers told me stories about him – how he murdered his own family and many others before he disappeared never to be seen again."
"I assure you if that were the case, you and I would not be having this conversation right now."
"Not long ago I heard Mikail exonerated you of all crimes alleged against you." He tilted his head to look at the bedroom door then refocused his attention on Riordyn. "I am sorry for all you have suffered."
"It is no more than I deserve." He listened for Jenna's heartbeat, and slowed his own heart to match its rhythm. "You have my thanks and gratitude for all you have done to help my – to help Jenna. I will not keep you from your brothers when there is nothing that can be done to undo the damage I have wrought."
"Perhaps not, but I will stay just the same."
He was about to respond when Sara broke into his thoughts, and issued the first of what he knew would be many demands. She can have your nights, but you will spend your days with me.
I will not leave her! Gritting his teeth, Riordyn balled his hands into fists.
I believe you will if you do not wish for her to be in pain. The moment she finished speaking, Jenna screamed out, shattering the silence. On his feet in shot, he barreled through her door, splintering it into pieces. Conleth raced after him, and both men stopped short at the edge of the bed when they saw Jenna writhing and curling inward on herself. Her continued screams echoed through the cavern, bringing tears to Riordyn's eyes.
Leave her alone, she has done nothing to you! It is me you wish to hurt not her! Swallowing hard, he gathered Jenna in his arms, and hugged her to him. Over and over again he tried to force his way into her mind to push Sara out, but the same darkness that gripped hold of her in the asylum was wrapped too tightly around her.
You do this to her yourself in not obeying me. Dawn is fast approaching – I expect you here with me or her suffering will be endless.
"I have done this to her. If I do not go to her, she will continue to hurt Jenna," he muttered, unable to meet Conleth's questioning gaze.
"You need to kill the mage," Conleth said as if it was just that easy.
"If I kill the mage, I murder Jenna. If I greet the dawn as I should for what I have done, she will not let Jenna go. She will continue to torment her mind for as long as she lives. She has won, Conleth. I can do no other than what she asks." Brushing his lips against Jenna's damp forehead, he set her down lightly on the bed. I will do as you say. Stop hurting her. The moment he gave in to Jinn-Si's demands, Jenna went still and opened her eyelids. Glazed and unseeing, her blue eyes stared up at him. "Forgive me, Jenna. I know not what else to do to keep you safe from harm."
"I will stay with her and protect her until you return," Conleth said, laying a hand on Riordyn's shoulder. "We will figure this out, Riordyn."
"I see no way to end this pain for either of us." Shoulders drooping, he turned and trudged away, leaving the woman he loved in the care of another man.