I had woken up to music. It was after 9 AM and considering how late I had been up it was still early, but as soon as I was awake I remembered who was outside. In my damn living room. Without thinking about it I opened my door, just to see Lauren and Namjoon in the middle of our living room dancing. "You basically you do what we just went through, but this time the other way around..." Only now I realized that they were actually listening to Save me. I stood there for a second, shorts, pj shirt, hair a mess and still puffy eyes while these two couldn't have been more awake. I was used to it from Lauren and it was infectious at times. But it wasn't the fact that they were awake that startled me, more what they were doing. "Good morning. I can dance now!" My friend greeted me and I could see Namjoon checking out my "literally just woke up from loud music"-face before smiling widely. "Join us?" "You guys are mad." I murmured before stepping back into my room and basically from there into the shower. How did she manage to actually make him dance to his own music? After the shower and brushing my teeth I felt more like myself again. It wasn't like I was grumpy in the morning, I just needed at least five minutes before someone was blasting Korean pop in front of my room. When I came out again they had started making breakfast and Namjoon looked at me as if he wanted to check whether I was actually upset. So I did my best to show through my smile that I was fine, before sitting down next to him on a barstool. "Did you sleep well? We've had complains about that couch before." "No, it was great. You sleep well?" He asked while picking some lint from my sweater. I was about to answer when Lauren set down a pot of porridge in front of us, interrupting. "Okay, so this is all good and well and actually pretty darn cute, but I have to go to work now." Namjoon got up to hug her goodbye, while Lauren gave him instructions on how exactly to give her phone number to Jin, finishing with a "...I am kidding of course. But I wouldn't mind. No pressure though. But he can really call anyt..." she stopped herself by closing the door mid-sentence. And then it was quiet. "After all this, I am not quite sure whether she wants me to actually do it or not." "Welcome to my world. I've known her for six years and I can't figure it out most of the time either." We ate some porridge and I noticed how Namjoon kept checking the clock on his phone. "You have to leave soon, hm?" I asked, trying to not sound too upset when really I felt exactly that. Deep down I wanted him to stay. It would have been fine if I had known we could see each other soon, but... ugh. He nodded pouting. "Actually a manager has been texting me for two hours to wake up and get over there..." "Oh." "Yeah, oh..." "Bathroom is yours then. There are towels under the sink." He stretched and nodded, got up and disappeared. Only to return seconds later to take his own set of clothes to the bathroom. I was sitting on the couch watching him, finally, I yelled a little "Damn, I thought you would forget..." after him, even before I then actually was thinking about Namjoon in only a towel coming out of my room to search for his clothes. "You wish!" was his simple answer, I could hear him laughing, before getting under the shower.

He wasn't even gone for more than 15 minutes, but it was enough for me to get a little nervous. I didn't want to ask if we would see each other again, because... it had been one night and absolutely nothing had happened. I had had more action with friends, to be honest. And still, I had this feeling in my gut that this was just... good. We were good together! Even as friends, just hanging out and playing board games and talking and hiding from people. But I couldn't tell him that. Deep down I was sure he was a pretty decent person and I believed he had fun last night, but that didn't mean he felt the same way. That this felt special. So by the time he got out again I had decided to try to play it casual. Which really wasn't easy when his shower-hair was sticking out in all directions in the most adorable way and a simple smile from him could make my heart flutter. What was happening? I felt like I was 13 again. Like that little girl at the gig when she looked at Jungkook. I didn't want to belittle teenage feelings or anything, I had just gotten so used to the endless cycle of dating - hooking up - dating - breaking up - pretending it had never meant anything anyways in my 20s that this... felt weird. And wrong. And glorious.

"I think I really have to head out now, do you think we can ask...Stan to open that door for me?" I nodded and called him, five minutes later we were out of the apartment and heading to the basement where Stan was waiting. "I am not even going to ask why..." he only said, before pushing the door open. Namjoon went through and then we stood there. Looking at each other until Stan sighed. "Okay, I'll be back in five minutes to lock up."

He had his hands deep in his pants pockets and I was a bit jealous of that because I really didn't know what to do with my hands. "So... have a good time in Europe, I guess?" I finally said after a few endless seeming seconds of silence. He nodded and then sighed, his one hand had moved to his neck, rubbing it. Probably still sore from the couch. We were both at a loss for words and finally, he simply leaned down and kissed my cheek. Only to then turn around and head up a few steps towards the street level. I stood there, about to close the door behind him. "Hey." I looked up again. He had turned around. "Got any excuses to be in London in two weeks?" "Not really..." "You think you can find some anyways?" The corners of my mouth quivered before it turned into a full grin. "I think so..." For a second he just grinned back down, before winking at me. "Good." And then he started moving again. As I closed the door behind me I realized my heart was pounding hard. I thanked Stand who just shrugged his shoulders and in the elevator up I couldn't help but start to laugh. This was a bad idea. Clearly. But fuck it...

Finding an excuse actually wasn't as hard as I had thought. I checked what happened around the time of the BTS London concerts and filled up a full schedule of gigs before heading to work two days later where I presented my plan. "What the hell Ollie? We have shootings scheduled." was the first simple answer, but I tried my most charming attempts at convincing them that plans could be changed, nothing was set in stone and how important it was to see Franz Ferdinand live in London. There was suspicion, definitely. But I don't think anybody knew the exact BTS schedule or understood my motivation. Or maybe they didn't care. I got the go a few days later.

Me: [1:42 PM] London, baby! Namjoon: [1:49 PM] Did you just call me baby? Me: [1:52 PM] Come on, be excited! Namjoon [1:59 PM] You have no idea.