A/N: Hello all, if you are confused as to what this is, They That Are Swept From The Shores is a spin-off of the 52nd Hunger Games if Atlantis Seasbane didn't volunteer that fits into Firedawn'd's Death Is So Red Verse. TTASFTS centers around Talquin Seasbane and Alithiya Essetella two characters I helped develop who are both from District Four (with worldbuilding different from my own) and the journey they go on together in the 52nd Games. You can also find the two of them in CozenCraze's Rashomon, the story they were originally submitted to (yet have not been introduced, hopefully soon) before they spiraled into… this, though they have slight variations to their backstories. Thank you so much in advance for reading. I hope you enjoy Talquin and Alithiya's story as much as I enjoyed writing it!
They That Are Swept From The Shores
tw: suicide, self-harm, alcoholism, body-modification.
why am i terrified of everything i used to love
save me from myself i don't want to hate who i've become
tell me that tomorrow when i wake up i'll be fine
i just want to be myself again
i want to know that i'm alive
[sleepless nights – memphis may fire]
To be honest, Talquin Seasbane should have expected nothing less than pure chaos when he was born to Abenahir and Nerio.
He still remembers their yelling when he was a child, curse words thrown like beach balls until their meanings deflated, mockery aplenty for lord knows what reason, and all he had was Atlantis besides him to keep him comfort.
It was different back then, when they were younger.
His twin sister would crawl up next to him when the storms of their parents became too much to bear, and she'd smile at him, tell him, "We'll be okay, Talquinly."
"Because we have each other," He'd continue, "And that's what matters most."
If only they weren't swept away from one another like their parents' riptides. Once Abenahir and Nerio got the divorce Talquin'd practically been begging for in his head, it was decided:
I'm taking the boys away from you, I hope you're happy being stuck with her…
And so, it was just Talquin, his brother Jardanis, and his father, slowly rising to Four's upper echelons whilst his mother and Atlantis suck into the gallows. Nerio knew hardly anybody would want to hire Abenahir, she was too… volatile for the majority's liking.
It was fine… at first. Talquin thought, Maybe I'll get to form some sort of an appreciation for my father, I never got that when it was all five of us.
Wasn't the case, 'stead he just grew to like the man less. He just grew into anger at the situation, anger at the fact he was without the other half of his whole, and they could no longer protect each other.
(Because Atlantis and Talquin swore to one another when they were just six years old, they'd take care of the other until they were parted by the waves of death.)
… And he was so afraid he'd never get that connection, that closeless with her back.
Especially when the two of 'em wound up at The 'Kov to train for the Hunger Games and Atlantis seemed to ignore him.
He'd try to talk, but he'd just be met with his sisters' venom, "You're not my brother anymore, Talquin. You lost that opportunity when you left with father."
Talquin's never understood why Atlantis was so damn angry at him when they first reunited, as if it was his choice for them to never see each other.
As if he'd ever want that.
Yet… time really does heal even the deepest cuts it seems. Talquin wonders to this day what led to his reconciliation with Atlantis as the years went by, but he's learned not to think too hard about it. Maybe it was fate that the two of them eventually fell back into their pattern of banter and bliss, and Talquin knew better than to question the motives of the universe.
Everything happens for a reason, remember that Talquin.
So when Atlantis visited him at the end of his coastguard shifts, Talquin no longer had any doubts about her motives. She was his twin, someone tied to him at the womb till death did them part.
…There was just the concern that would be soon, especially as Atlantis twisted herself in metal, tried her best to be "less human" with her trips to the Forge, and he wasn't in the wrong to worry.
On one of her visits, Talquin notices fresh stitches on her arm and he asks her, "What's that for?"
Her reply comes quickly, "It's supposed to make me stronger, we're just two months out from the Games now, Talquinly. I can use any extra strength I can get."
Right… Talquin understands Atlantis' motives for going through and accepting her position to volunteer for the 52nd Annual Hunger Games. The girl's been through a lot, and maybe she's just thrusting herself into the storm out of nothing but spite, but Talquin still understands.
"I just don't want you to turn into one of those junkies who's just covered head to toe in cybernetics," Talquin laments, slightly frustrated at her. It's common knowledge that most of Four's best volunteers have been modified head to toe down in the forge, but that doesn't mean he quite likes it, especially when it comes to his sister.
He knows that her addictive days are behind her and that she's trying to better herself, but Talquin is constantly plagued by the idea that she's pushing herself too hard and she's going to screw herself over because of it. But then again, Atlantis is her own person and Talquin shouldn't be letting her rent this much space in his head. She's perfectly capable of making her own decisions, he knows this.
He just worries.
Alithiya Essetella was born into nothing and she embraces it with pride.
How many people get to say they were born on the sand and don't remember anything before they were exposed to the scent of alcohol when they were… three… four… who cares… years old?
She's fine being sheltered in Ricoesse Hovendale's bar, the man adopting her upon discovery, mumbling something about how she reminded him of his own dead daughter.
It's funny now that Alithiya was only valued because she was a replacement, because the first thing somebody realises when they meet her is that she's everything but. She's irreplaceable, one of a kind when nobody else dares to be, and perhaps that's why people love her the way they do.
A last name she created by herself– Essetella for Rico, the loudest voice possible at his bar where she works, and the brightest smile you've ever seen in your whole life. Maybe she tries too hard to be unique, but maybe that's fine. People love her because she's unique, after all. They love her for the naked runs on the sand, seaweed the only covering they need, the drunken debauchery at three in the morning, the jokes nobody dares to tell. They love Alithiya Essetella for all of it, even if she's ridiculous at times.
She's always been the type to embrace it.
"I just don't get the point of this," Her girlfriend Atlantis lies on the counter of Rico's bar. It's barely midnight yet people have already begun to simmer out, probably because it's a Tuesday.
"The point is that it's fun," Alithiya sprinkles sea salt along the crook in her lover's neck, along her collar bones and sternum. She looks like an angel, which is… how she usually looks, but that's besides the point. There's just something wild in her eye, on her lips, in her voice, something that makes Alithiya want to risk it all.
Even if Atlantis Seasbane's never been the type for direct fun, always rigid and stern unless there's a few drinks in her system. Yet, it works with her and Alithiya, always a pleasant compliment for one another even if they're both subdued in their own separate ways of madness. It's the chaos that's brought them together, after all.
"You're lucky Talquin's not here to see this," Her best friend and Atlantis' brother went home early with his girlfriend, "He'd make fun of me for weeks, the Atlantis Seasbane lying on the bartop and covered in salt like some sort of fish."
She knows she'll kill the mood if she says what's on her mind, yet Alithiya says it anyway, "Well you're my favorite fish… you're like.. salmon or something."
Atlantis giggles, and it's only partially filled with unamusement, "You think that's romantic, calling me salmon?"
"Sure do," Alithiya sways her hips rests her hand on the bar until she finds a lime, "Now what you're going to want to do is stick this in your mouth––"
"So you're gagging me?" Atlantis cuts her off, "Have you not learned anything…"
"Fuck off," She pries open her lover's mouth and tries to fit a slice of the lime inside, "You know I'd let you do this to me if you wanted but as you say…"
"I can drink after I win the Hunger Games," Atlantis finishes her sentence, biting down into the fruit and not even flinching at it's likely sour flavour.
Alithiya nods and twists open the cap of her flash with, Oh who-the-fuck knows in it and pours a shot into a small glass up, she smiles, and through whimpers Atlantis says, "What the fuck are you doing with that?"
She simply shrugs and pours the shot onto Atlantis' chest, the liquid plateauing right between where her skin ends and her crop-top begins, she smiles through the lime, "Alithiya… why?"
Her answer is the same as it was before, "Because it's fun!"
Alithiya chuckles to herself before lowering down to her girlfriend's side, her tongue grazing over the salt as Atlantis laughs, "It tickles…"
She just winks, gathering as much salt as she can before slowly lapping up the sweet yet staunchy taste of alcohol. Alithiya allows herself to taste the smoothness of Atlantis' skin to every extent of the word until she's cleaned up all the liquor.
Still giggling, Alithiya goes to kiss her, only for their lips to barely touch when she takes a bite out of the lime in her mouth instead.
"See, that was fun, right?"
And Atlantis smiles brighter than Alithiya's ever seen.
It's hard for Talquin to focus on the boat that day, even with Alithiya beside him.
They've been friends for about… three years now, and she's well, she's everything to Talquin, his entire world, his safely and his comfort wrapped up into one and he couldn't be happier at the fact he managed to set her up with his sister, because that just means the three of them, well four if he counts the times his own girlfriend Daria comes along can experience life together.
When it's just them, it's almost as if the world is normal. It's almost as if there's no Hunger Games and no Capitol and no sadness and sickness and hunger, just four kids trying their best to take life day by day.
Sailing. That's what they're supposed to be doing today, as is common amongst coast guards. Just being brushed up against the water, looking for danger and what not. It's usually pretty mellow, which Talquin doesn't mind, but today that normalcy's got him feeling uneasy.
"You alright?" Alithiya turns her head to him as the boat rests for a moment, "You seem… off?"
She's as bright as the sun in the middle of July and Talquin doesn't want to ruin it with his nonsense. His fucking bullshit that doesn't really matter because everything in his mind is a series of hypotheticals and it's about time he stop acting like his dreams are reality when they're nothing but liminal and they'll continue that way for an eternity.
"I'm fine," He lies and shakes his head, even if he knows that Alithiya won't believe him for a minute.
She simply says, "No," and laughs a rather awkward laugh in an attempt to break the slight tension.
He rolls his eyes, damnit, she always wins, "Fine, you're right."
"I know," Alithiya's voice turns sincere, "What happened?"
Talquin sharply inhales, well, shit. Because of course, of course, Atlantis is what happened. She's been… off lately, though that's an understatement when she's never been quite on. He just knows how his sister acts when she's beginning another one of her spirals, all domineering, possessive and all powerful, and she's been exhibiting those signs again. A sense of mania's always been present in Atlantis' eyes, but lately it just seems to be growing.
He sighs, "I'm worried about Atlantis."
And an expression consumed Alithiya's face like she's out of her damn mind, "Why would you be worried about her. We had a great time last night after you left."
"I think she's hurting herself again," Talquin shudders, a not-so-rare tear forming by his eye, "I know it's been a while since she's gotten bad, but she's worrying me… not to mention her Games obsession and all the new modifications––"
"Talquin, please," Alithiya cuts him off in an attempt to soothe him, "She's just being dramatic, you know, like she always is. I promise you, Atlantis is fine."
"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm just over analyzing again," He chuckles, unsure if he should believe himself or not.
It's the third night in a row that Alithiya arrives home with Atlantis still out.
And that worries her. She thinks, Shit, fuck, maybe Talquinly was right, yet all she can do is wait at her doorstep in homes Atlantis will turn up soon enough. She always does, after all.
Yet, Atlantis' forays into the night are typically far and few between, in fact, Alithiya can't recall a month where she arrived home before her lover on two separate occasions, yet for the past two nights it's been the same:
Atlantis strolling into their apartment with a smug look on her face, asking Alithiya "Why do you look so upset? I'm allowed to have a nice life too."
Alithiya responding with, "Where were you? You're never home this late."
And finally, Atlantis brushing her off, saying, "Training," though Alithiya's quick to notice new lacerations on her body, though she promises herself she won't say anything about them, not wanting to upset her.
That was the first two nights of this, and on the third, it's different.
Just the same way as she had before, Atlantis walks into the apartment all hunched over and her hair messed up. Again, she sees Alithiya with a confused look on her face, so she asks her, "Why are you mad at me?"
Because while most people jump to conclusions, Atlantis Seasbane pounces on them like a predator hunting its prey, "I'm not mad at you, just concerned that you've been out until…" She looks at the clock on the wall and gulps at the time, "Four in the morning, for the past three nights now."
"I already said that's because I was training," She tries to enter their bedroom but Alithiya blocks the door, "Why aren't you listening to me? Do you think I'm a liar?"
She thinks back to just five nights ago when the two of them were laughing at Rico's bar, slap happy fools just having a ball, not a care in the world, not a semblance of stress.
And while she could say that the girl in front of her, arms crossed and menace in her eyes is a different person than the girl covered in salt and laughing, Alithiya knows that's far from the truth. Alithiya knows that there's two sides to Atlantis and they both boil down to one point, she'll never be satisfied.
"I don't think you're a liar," She pleads, "I promise, I'm just worried. Talquin said––"
"So you're talking to him about me?" Atlantis scoffs, "The two of you are just talking about how much you hate me? Is that it?"
"No, not at all," Alithiya's quick to recompose herself, "We're just concerned you're becoming too much like… the typical Four girl."
What does that even mean? Besides being tall, brooding, obsessed with modifying their bodies, and usually filled to the brim with self-loathing, the typical Four girl is… fuck… Atlantis.
"Well maybe that's what I want to be," She pushes past Alithiya's stance, the girl nearly toppling to the ground, "I'm sorry I'm not a fun and exciting pick-me girl like you, Alithiya. I'm sorry that I'm prioritizing what more people wish I was."
And she's so cold, Alithiya wonders if they also put steel in her heart.
He hasn't seen his sister in a week but Daria's doing her very best to calm Talquin, her petite body tangled in his arms, her head positioned on his neck so he can run his fingers through her hair, and he hates to admit it, but her magic's not working.
"You're still so sad," Daria notices, her eyes all doe-like and pained as she points her face at his.
Talquin squeezes her tighter and responds, "There's nothing you can do about it, I promise."
"Doesn't mean I still don't wish I could do something," She pleads, her lips curling to a frown as she pants, "I mean you know that Atlantis and I have our history…" her voice softens, "But that doesn't mean I don't care about her."
History's a understatement with the two of them; Talquin still remembers finding Daria curled up one of the 'Kov bathrooms, her arms clasped to her chest to stop the self-inflicted cuts on her wrists from bleeding on the ground.
It was the first time he spoke to her and she'd said she was fine at first, but it wasn't long before Talquin caught her in a corner with Atlantis, his sister taunting her, telling her she was worthless. It didn't take a genius to recognize that sure, Daria was the one who dug blades into her flesh when nobody was watching, but it was Atlantis who was controlling her fingers like a puppeteer in the shadows.
"You're too good for this world," Talquin looks her in the eyes and smiles so bright, "Seriously Dar, I mean it, but there's nothing you can do."
It's like both of their worlds stop when they hear a knock at the door, Daria whispering, "Who d'ya think it is?" Because neither of them are expecting any company for the night.
He lets go of her, and something tells him it's his sister, it really wouldn't be anybody else, after all. And his theory, if he could even call it that, is only proven right when he opens the door to Atlantis with her arms crossed.
"Oh my goodness, I'm finally seeing you after all these days," Yet Talquin can tell that she is very much not in the mood to be pleasant, though that's a vast majority of the time if he's being honest. She only looks worse now, the skin under her eyes all purple and baggy and her skin flushed like she'd just been crying, "Are you okay?"
Atlantis doesn't answer, instead lightly pushing Talquin aside and sitting on one of the chairs in the living room. Daria's shaking, unsure what exactly is transpiring, and it's not like he knows either so he's silent just the same. With her legs straddled over the back of the chair, Atlantis rests her chin on top of the back and grunts, "It's Alithiya."
For a split second, Talquin's entire world shatters, because obviously he assumes the worst, that Alithiya's dead, and just the thought of it is unbearable. He feels the walls closing in on him, the ceiling falling down on his head but that feeling of dread is swiftly ended when Atlantis continues, "She's been giving me some trouble lately." Talquin sighs, then sits down next to an equally worried Daria, "I know she's your friend or whatever, but do you have any rational explanation as to why she's acting like she's in charge of me?"
He presses his lips into a line, This is going to be a long long night. It's happened before, Atlantis showing up at his doorstep to bash on somebody for some fucking reason that can hardly be justified. Talquin's tried not to get too frustrated with her over it, really he should be glad his sister feels she can trust him once more, but whenever she's in a bad mood like this, there's nothing he can say that'll make her feel better. She just keeps spiraling, down and down the train while Talquin's stuck wondering how the hell there's any of her left.
And tonight's target of Atlantis' rambling is Alithiya; just great! If there's anything Talquin wants, it's clearly his sister showing up after a week of absence for the sole purpose of talking shit about his best friend, who she just so happens to be dating. That's the ideal way to spend a Tuesday evening, is it not?
"What did she do?" Whatever it is, Talquin doubts it's anything completely awful, he made Alithiya promise to him when she first started dating Atlantis that she would never do anything to purposely hurt her.
He can tell how frustrated his sister is, her body shaking in the chair like it's a hermit crab trapped out of the sea, "I personally believe that after eighteen years of being alive, I know my limits as a human being and know that I can trust myself to go to a bar by myself on multiple occasions. Alithiya on the other hand, thinks that this behavior is dangerous, and she's basically been calling me an alcoholic at this point with the way she fusses over me."
That… doesn't sound like his friend. If anything, Alithiya's just worried for her, as would any good girlfriend, and Talquin begins to worry that Atlantis is just so screwed up, she doesn't know what real love is when she sees it. She's always had shitty relationships with her exes before Alithiya, but Talquin's been so certain that Alithiya's the one that'll finally calm her raging shores.
"It's because she cares about you," He says with confidence in his voice, Daria smiling at him on the side with all the love in the world, "And we worry about the people we care about, it's just human nature. Quite frankly, judging by your reaction to all of this, you really need somebody to care about you, so just embrace the fact Alithiya's doing just that."
Talquin should've known that his sister wouldn't be in the mood for civilities. He covers his ears before she roars, "So now you're explaining to me what it means to care about somebody? I didn't realize you were such an expert in caring for people!"
"He just meant––" Daria tries to interject but Talquin covers his mouth.
Atlantis stands on the chair and puts her hands on her hips, "If you really were so good at caring for people, how come you abandoned me with mom, huh? Is that why you decided to date the most pathetic girl in District Four, so you could just smother her in your love so you suddenly feel like a good person?"
"That's not what I'm doing," Talquin grunts, because attacking him is something he can handle, but attacking Daria might as well be the last thing somebody ever does, "I care about her the same way Alithiya cares about you. The only difference is, Daria actually lets me care, and you're just too fucking stubborn."
"Right, I'll just go then," She hops off the chair and walks towards the door, "I don't know why I even bothered talking to you, I should've known you wouldn't understand. Have fun with your pitiful little girlfriend Talquin; I doubt she can even go down two inches without gagging."
Just like that, the door slams behind them and Talquin's left to face Daria in tears, "She's lying. You're not pathetic or pitiful, I promise."
She just whimpers, "You do?"
And as scared as Talquin is for whatever his sister is going to do next, at that moment, all he wants to do is be there for Daria, "I promise forever."
In hindsight, she really should've been more worried about Atlantis from the get-go. Because it just goes on and on and on, her lover failing to arrive home at a reasonable hour and Alithiya freaking out over it. Maybe Atlantis is getting to her head, because the longer her rants go on, the more Alithiya starts to believe, Maybe she's right and I am being too overbearing… She's always been one to have her own fun, maybe she's an awful person for gatekeeping Atlantis'.
I mean I'm her girlfriend, not her mother–– I don't know why I'm freaking out, She tries to rationalize with herself, tries to find a situation where she's in the wrong for being a good and conscientious girlfriend, but perhaps the fact that she can't find said situation is proof she's right. And if Alithiya's right, it means Atlantis, the girl of her dreams, her very own ocean angel is wrong.
It's not to say she thinks her girlfriend's flawless, no she loves her in spite of all her many many flaws, Alithiya just never thought they would affect herself. Maybe she's a fool for believing Talquin when he said "My sisters a great person, even if she has her flaws," instead of practically everybody else who said, "Atlantis Seasbane is off her fucking rocker, stay away from her if you know what's good for you," when she first started dating her, but again how can she be in the wrong for trusting her own best friend. That's what she's supposed to do, right? And it's not even like she's mad at Talquin for all the struggles his sister has caused for her as of late, no not even one bit. Alithiya's just… questioning whether or not she should've gotten involved with Atlantis in the first place. And that's her own burden, not Talquin's and not anybody else's. She heard the warnings yet she dived right in, it's her own fault that her heart is slowly starting to break.
But when Atlantis comes through the door that night, her eyes salty from tears, Alithiya finds herself wondering why she could ever think anything so negative about her. This girl isn't the grade-a bitch the 'Kov makes her out to be. She's her lover, in all her flaws, and even thinking of her in the negative is problematic.
Atlantis drapes herself over the edge of the couch and gestures for Alithiya to lie between her arms. She complies, obviously, and when her lover holds her, all Alithiya wants to do is forget the world and all the nasty things she thought about Atlantis. Because she feels safe here, she's always felt safe, even if the metal woven in her arms is cold enough to make Alithiya's skin tingle, and even though they don't talk for a while, she feels so safe. At times, she cries to herself in silence about being seemingly born from broken bottles of whiskey and seafoam, but with Atlantis, she doesn't need to cry. Because she's safe.
Or at least… she's safe until Atlantis opens her mouth, "You know, I fucking hate your friend sometimes."
"You mean, your brother?" Obviously, she's referring to Talquin, and Alithiya squirms a bit because she knows that whatever Atlantis says about him, it won't be true. Their relationship's always been stormy, but it's never really causes her that much trouble. They seem to be healing, even if they have their quarrels from time to time. Yet, Alithiya gets the sense that this is the worst one yet.
"As if I could call him that," Atlantis scoffs, spit from her mouth grazing the top of Alithiya's forehead, "He's never been good to me anyways."
Despite it never going well in the past, Alithiya tries to calm her down, "You mean when the two of you were kids? That's all over now, is it not?"
"No, you fucking fool," Her response is harsh, acid laced in every word, "I mean now. I tried to open up to him about a genuine struggle I was facing and he tried to make it my fault. He made me the victim in my own fucking pitty, all while his little coward girlfriend just sat on the sofa and pouted her eyes like a stupid puppy."
That really didn't sound like Talquin. Sure, he's been brutal when he gives advice at times, but he always speaks veracity, even if it's not what people want to hear, he's right. So Alithiya doubts he was being malicious towards Atlantis, and at the same time she wonders, "Why didn't you just talk to me about it if it was such an important struggle? You've always said you hate going to your brother for help." Her words are much softer than her lover's.
"Because you're the problem, Alithiya," She gasps when Atlantis replies, because maybe she has done wrong by her after all, "What was I supposed to do? Talquink to you about how all of your overbearing clinginess makes me want to–– makes me want to–– oh my gosh, I just hate it, okay?"
In unfortunate fear, Alithiya twists her torso out of Atlantis' arms, which just makes her angrier, "Come back, what the hell? Do you think I'm a monster now? Why are you afraid of me?"
"I'm not afraid of you," Alithiya scoots herself to the other end of the sofa, "I don't want to cuddle with you while you go on and on about how I'm an awful girlfriend because I had the audacity to care for your physical and mental well-being."
"Because you pity me?" She crosses her arms and bites her lips.
"No…" It gets harder and harder for Alithiya to find the right words to say, because it's like any phrase that exits her lips is going to make Atlantis think she's the worst person of all time. But this is what she was getting into when she agreed to that first date with her, and she'll deal with it forever if it means seeing her girl smile when all is said and done. As unfortunate as it is, these violent outbursts have become their own love language, even if it's one only the two of them can speak, "Because I love you, okay? And I want you to be safe."
"Sure you do," Alithiya's heart breaks again when Atlantis stands up from the couch and puts her hands on her hips, "I should've known that you and Talquin will always care about each other before your minds even stop to think of me. It's my fault."
As Atlantis walks to the door, Alithiya calls out, "That's not what I––"
"Just stop, I need some time to myself," The door swings shut and Alithiya finds herself grabbing onto a pillow for comfort.
She doesn't know where Atlantis is going, and everything's a blur to her even when she walks outside thirty seconds later, her girlfriend somehow out of sight already. Alithiya mutters to herself, "I need to find her."
But before she can start walking, she turns around to see Talquin and Daria standing hand and hand, the same miserable looks on their faces. He asks her, "I take it you're also looking for my sister?"
Alithiya's a crying mess on her doorstep and Talquin's discomfort is just the same, "I take it you're also looking for my sister?"
It wasn't hard for him to figure out that Atlantis had gone to Alithiya after having a blow-up at his place, but he was hoping that he'd find her there, and judging by her tears, she isn't.
"I was about to," Alithiya says through muffled tears, "She was… here a second ago, we were talking. She was saying that she was mad at you so I tried to talk some sense into her, but then she just left."
Shit. Talquin doesn't think anything he said to her actually was that awful, if anything, Atlantis is overreacting, but he can't say that. Not now, when neither of them have a clue where she is, "Right. She was at my house complaining that you worry for her too much, so I kept telling her it's because you care, and then she just… screamed at me, and Ria too."
She nods, "Yeah, Atlantis was kind of scaring me, I've never seen her this angry before."
Good grief, neither have I… That worries Talquin even more, "How angry was she when you saw her?"
"The worst I've ever seen, yeah," Alithiya rubs her nose in distress, "I get that the Games are in a few weeks, and maybe that's why she's so stressed. But at the same time, if she's like this I don't think––"
"That she should go into the arena," Talquin bows his head in agreement, "I've thought the same thing for months, but I don't want to disagree with her, especially when it seems to mean so much to her."
But there's no time to worry about the Games now, especially since they don't know where she is, and she could be–– I don't want to think about that. She can't be. They need to look for her, "Did you see which direction she went in?"
"I didn't, I was just in shock the whole time," She clasps her hands together, "Anyways, should we split up? I could go to the bar, and maybe you and Ria check the ocean?"
Those are the only two options. Either she's drinking away her problems, or she's dancing on the beach the way she usually does when she's overwhelmed with life, "And if she's not in either spots?"
"Then we meet back here in an hour and plan our next move," Alithiya suggests, "Or, It'll be pretty easy for me to tell if she's at The Hove or not, so if I can't find her, I'll just meet you by the ocean?"
"I like the second option," He starts to stretch, because lord knows it's about to be one of the longest nights of his life, "See you then?"
She runs into Talquin's arms and gives him a hug. It's a quick one, but she leans her forehead against his shoulder and it's comforting, "I'll see you then."
He grabs Daria's hand and then they're off, running past the small houses on Alithiya's street until they arrive at a corner and turn left, towards the ocean. Their palms are sweaty and sticky as the concrete fades to sand, a reflection of water in the distance.
Talquin scans the area hoping he'll see his sister twirling in the tides but he isn't that lucky. Instead, all he sees are tar-black rocks on the left side of the beach and a seemingly endless abundance of water. But no Atlantis.
He cups his hands around his lips and screams, "Atlantis!" Daria's beside him and she has to cover her ears to block out Talquin's noise when he yells again, "Atlantis!"
But nobody answers his calls, the only sound being the crashes of the waves against the shore, yet that doesn't deter him from wailing until he can hardly feel the air in his lungs, "Atlantis!"
Nothing.
Daria's yelling just the same, and even if she's not as loud, it doesn't matter because they're still not getting a response. Exasperated, Talquin walks over in the direction of the rocks where he'll sit for a while before searching again.
But it's when he gets there that he sees a dark-colored object bobbing in the water maybe thirty feet away. He can't make out what it's supposed to be, but the swirling pit of doubt and fear in his stomach tells him to swim to it. Talquin glances at Daria, her entire body shaking in fear and smiles at her, "I'm going in the water, it'll be fine. Just wait here."
He grabs at the bottom hem of his shirt, tearing the fabric a bit as he pulls it over his head whilst Daria calls "Talquin, wait––" but not soon enough since he kicks off his shoes and splashes in the sea like he never even heard her.
Arm after arm, stroke after stroke, he gets closer and closer to the entity and begins making out what it is, I think I see hair… and clothes–– No! It can't be! I refuse to let it be! Shit! By the time he arrives, there's no denying what, or rather who, Talquin's in the presence of. He grabs hold of the body, Atlantis' body and kicks his way back to the rocks, hoping she's just asleep, just passed out even if that doesn't make sense because she's probably been out here for some time. Her skin scrapes against the rocks as he lifts her on the land, flipping her over to reveal purple-tinted skin and gashes covering her face.
"Is that?" Daria asks but then fills in the answer in her mind, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
Talquin doesn't listen, he just mutters to himself again and again, Atlantis… Atlantis… whilst pressing his palms to her chest the way he learned. This is supposed to save her…. Why isn't it working? There's no pulse when he puts two fingers by her neck, there was never a pulse to begin with but there still isn't one now.
So Talquin Seasbane screams. Louder than he screamed when his father tore him away from his sister and mother and louder than the first time he thought Atlantis was dead… because now… She can't be. She can't be, she can't be shecan'tbedead. Atlantiscan'tbedead… The words in his head slur together whilst Daria wraps her arms behind him, trying and failing to comfort him until he hears more footsteps followed by sobs he wishes he weren't so familiar with.
"What happened to her?" He turns his head to see Alithiya behind him, her eyes red and her skin puffy, "What the fuck happened to her?"
Talquin breathes heavy, "I saw. Her. In the. Ocean. Tried to. Save her," with every breath of air he continues to sob, "Too late."
Alithiya runs to the body and cradles the head in her arms, whispering to herself "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm so fucking sorry."
He leans his head against her shoulder and sighs, the moonlight reflecting off the water and onto Atlantis' skin, "I didn't think this would happen to you. I'm so sorry."
Nobody talks for a minute, they just stop and stare at the girl they've carried from the waves, too afraid to ask the question they already know the answer to.
It turns out, they don't need to ask.
"I found this," Daria sits beside them with a crumpled up piece of paper in her hands and tears in her eyes, "I think you should read it."
To whoever's reading this, not that I think anybody should be reading this,
I was born into this world like a perfect storm, two loving parents who never truly loved me and a twin brother who I could never possibly be better than–– so I don't even know why I tried. Seriously, I don't know how or why I was able to make it eighteen years before this happened, and really that's because every time I tried before didn't work (lord, I can't do anything right), but it doesn't matter.
Because nothing matters, certainly not me. I'm supposed to go into the arena in… it doesn't matter anymore but soon, and the minute that gong rings, I am going to die. I can pretend that I won't, that I'll follow in the footsteps of Hezediah, Kani, and Juno and somehow survive, but I'm not meant to. I'm not meant to live, hell I doubt my parents were even expecting twins, and if they were, they weren't expecting me. Just the fact I'm writing this wasn't supposed to happen. I should have killed myself when I took my brother's perfect girlfriend's pills, or when I "accidentally" hurt myself with my sword… Or fuck, maybe Alithiya's right, I should have just overdosed on alcoholic and died in a hazy bliss amongst the clouds. Maybe she's always right.
But that doesn't matter. Because I'm so sick of proving myself to be better than how everybody perceives me, the toxic creep who'll never amount to anything. The Xianrith's sellout whore who's pumped too much metal in her body to even be human. If I'm not human, then how come I'm stuck like this, huh? What am I saying, everything about me was always right. I was always meant to sink instead of swim.
Talquin, Alithiya, I hope you never see this, but if you do… you were right. I'm a lost cause. You never should have tried to fix me, now go have fun with your blissful little adventures on boats, because I know you'll sail away and forget me eventually. The world already has.
I hope we never meet again,
Atlantis.
He looks Alithiya in the eyes, and it's like they both planned to say the same thing when they open their mouths in harmony, "This is my fault."
Just like how the water crashes against the sand, Talquin and Alithiya break.
It's funny, the way people talk.
Just days ago, all Alithiya heard was people cursing Atlantis' name in the hallways of the 'Kov, calling her some sort of a wretched creature who wasn't worthy of the Games, wasn't worthy of Four's glory, but now…
Now, it's different.
Now Alithiya can't go anywhere without somebody running up to her and crying, "I'm so sorry for your loss!" or whispering in her ear an apology of, "Whatever I said about Atlantis earlier, I didn't mean it. She was so loved and I miss her already."
She doesn't believe it for a second, and maybe that's the worst part of it. No matter how many people stop her in her tracks to express sympathy, Alithiya can't shake the feeling that maybe Atlantis was right, maybe the world really did hate her. Because if the world wasn't out to get her, then how come people besides her, Daria and Talquin are only beginning to give a shit now that she's gone?
He's another story himself.
Just a week ago, on the night they found Atlantis body, the night they read her final soliloquy of hatred for a world she was never quite properly adjusted to live in, the two of them cried. They cried to the extent where their eyes grew sore with salt-water tears before Talquin passed out besides his sister and Alithiya tried singing a still shell-shocked Daria a lullaby.
Alithiya tried to make peace with it all, yet she couldn't as she trudged through semi-moistened sand and tripped on rocks which just reminded her of her own misfortune. She too slept on the beach that night. As cold as the world was, it was warmer than her bed without Atlantis at her side.
And a week later they still don't know what to say, or what to do or anything besides lay on the rocks Atlantis decided would be her forever home and continue to wonder what led to this mess of a life they'd been thrust into.
With his head facing the clouds, Talquin exhales, "I think the worst part of it all is that they think I did it."
Somebody saw Talquin dragging Atlantis out from the sea and came to the conclusion it was him who drowned her there in the first place, and they were all it took to spread falsehoods throughout Havenside that Talquin Seasbane murdered his own sister, and he should forever be damned because of it.
"Somebody asked me today why I'm still friends with you if you killed my girlfriend," Alithiya sighs, watching two clouds turn into one, "I told her I had no idea what she was talking about."
"It's just…" He rummages in his pockets until he finds a crumpled piece of paper, "I could show them this, and that would prove I didn't kill her, but that just seems disrespectful."
It's her suicide note in Talquin's hands, something he's been reading again and again as the days go by, like he's trying to pinpoint what exactly it was that turned Atlantis from a walking caution-sign to a literal shipwreck.
Alithiya can't say she's looked at it again since that first night. All she needed was the one read-through to serve as a forever reminder that she'd never truly be able to save Atlantis the way she thought she could, not like she can do anything about it now.
"Even after everything she's done to you?" Alithiya questions him, "You're still just okay with everybody thinking you killed her."
Talquin sits up on his rock and tucks his legs together, "Even now. At least people are saying that they love her, even if they're just pretending. I'd rather her be remembered as somebody loved than somebody everybody failed to save."
Because that's just it, the two of them failed Atlantis and now she's a disambiguation of memories that'll never fully be transcribed.
And everybody looks at Alithiya now as she tries to grieve. Everybody looks at Alithiya to explain what went wrong and just how confused she is about everything but she swears up and down it wasn't Talquin who killed her, it was… a pirate or something, but not Talquin, never Talquin,
They look at her to be Atlantis' legacy, but when they look at Talquin, they wish he was a memory.
"We tried to save her," She closes her eyes hard enough to pretend Atlantis is still right beside her, "I think we often forget it, but we did try."
"That's not good enough," Talquin scoffs in frustration, "You know it's not good enough, Alithiya, and now you're going to run off and make the same mistake she did."
"The Games?" Alithiya questions him. So many times Talquin's been able to convince her that she's doing the wrong thing, but this is the one time she'll stand her ground no matter what. If it's not going to be Atlantis in that arena, it'll be Alithiya living out her dream, dedicating each kill to the girl who should be behind the blade instead.
As it turns out, it's pretty easy to convince Anahita that you should be volunteering when you say it's in honor of your dead girlfriend who she adored.
"Yeah," Talquin nods, "How d'you think winning them's going to change any?"
She just smiles, "Maybe it'll bring me closer to her? I don't know… It's all I can really do at this point."
Just because Atlantis' dead doesn't mean she has to be complicit. Alithiya can be her memory if she fights for it. Alithiya can show District Four just how wrong they were for ever speaking ill on the good name of Atlantis Seasbane.
And she can't do it unless she fights for it.
That's all she can do… Fight for it.
Despite everything he's heard about the place, Talquin's never actually been down to the Forge before. Maybe it would have been best if it stayed that way, never going down to the Forge, but he can't do anything about it now.
He has to be here. For Alithiya.
"Atlantis used to take me here," She admits to him as they walk down a flight of stairs, "I never got anything done myself, but sometimes it would make her feel better if I was with her."
She never asked me to accompany her, Talquin thinks with a frown.
He can't go a day without being told that he killed his sister, and while he knows it's not true, the existence of a sensible pattern of thought in which he did is enough to perturb him. Every rumor has a bit of truth in it, right? Talquin hates that there's been enough animosity between him and Atlantis that somebody could say, "He was finally sick of her so he just drowned her," and have others believe them.
And in a way, they're right, Talquin Seasbane did kill his twin sister. Sure, he didn't actually push her head under the water, but his naivete and dismissal of her struggles were enough to get her to swim.
Maybe he would've been better off if he never even tried to reconnect the ties between the two of them that she so clearly wanted severed.
Not that anything can change now, "It's nice that you were able to help her feel better."
"You helped her feel better too," Alithiya sighs, tugging at his hand the way she does when she's nervous, "I know you don't think it, but I promise, you did."
Not enough that it meant anything. Not enough that I couldn't stop her from killing herself. Not enough that I didn't practically kill her myself.
He's been raised to think this way. Nerio's always drilled it in his head that he's to be strong, to be brave, to be a hero. And now that Atlantis is dead, Talquin can't help but wonder what good any hero is if they can't save the damsel in distress.
"I appreciate it," He nods before opening a heavy wooden door to the Forge's waiting room and leaning on one of the rugged walls.
The room's dimly lit, as to be expected, and even if there's other people around them, nobody says anything. It's oddly funny, how suspicious people act 'round the Forge, like it's something completely unheard of despite the fact everyone and their parents have at least been slightly tempted to get some metal injected in them.
Talquin's been tempted too. His father said he'd be stronger if he had some plating in his wrists, but ultimately he's learned that Nerio Seasbane's definition of strength isn't exactly the best one to be catering to.
The two of them watch as Lachlan Aberforth walks out of the backroom with his left hand covering his right wrist in pain. He squints his brows at Talquin with shame before smiling at Alithiya, "Good luck back there!"
"Thanks," She shrugs her shoulders. After last year's fiasco with Juno Argostoli crawling up onto the stage and volunteering without Anahita's permission, the Kov's made it mandatory that their designated volunteers get seals with Panem's crest emblazoned on their wrists, proof that it's really them who should be representing Four.
In all honesty, Talquin thinks it's a pretty dumb system, since it's not like anything can be done about the volunteers once they're all on stage and ready to go, but he applauds them for trying.
"Alithiya Essetella," A receptionist looks up from her paperwork at her, "We're ready for you now."
Talquin decides he'll just wait for her where he is, not wanting to cause a scene or anything, but Alithiya calls after him, "Come with me!" so he follows.
A metallurgist inspects her arm as she lies flat on a metal seat, "You don't seem like the usual Four girl who volunteers."
"That's because I'm much more fun!" Alithiya smirks, but her expression softens when she realizes her little joke is met with little response.
Talquin wishes he could laugh at her now, but her youthfulness and innocence just reiterate it in his head that Alithiya shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be volunteering for the Games.
He understands her reasoning, remembering Atlantis and saving her legacy, all of that makes sense, but he can't help but be horrified nonetheless of whatever it is that'll happen to his best friend in the arena. Even if she makes it out alive, she'll be a completely different person. Same thing happened to Juno. He was all smiley and happy like any boy should be, but now he's but a ghost of his own past.
Talquin can't bear the thought of Alithiya fading the same way.
As the metal burns her skin, she flinches, which is alarming considering any physical pain she feels in the arena will be far worse. He doesn't want to say that he doesn't believe in his own friend to win the Games, he just doesn't want her to suffer either, and this here reaction is a clear indicator she will.
"Are you d-done y-yet?" Alithiya stammers, but the metallurgist doesn't say anything in response, "I'm sorry… It just h-hurts…"
He should be able to save her. He wishes he could do something to save her.
He wishes he could save her because deep down he knows there was never a thing he could do to save his sister.
When she gets out of the chair, Alithiya wraps her arms around Talquin immediately, "Thank you for waiting with me."
He leans down and whispers in her ear, "You were so brave."
Bravery isn't going to be enough in the arena if she wants to live. Even if she doesn't, he wants her to live.
She walks out of the room with a skip in her step, not paying attention to Talquin when he steps towards the metallurgist with a sly smile, "How much would I need to pay you if I wanted one of those seals myself?"
Any normal person would be nervous on Reaping Day. Alithiya reminds herself of this on the morning she's to volunteer for the 52nd Annual Hunger Games as she fiddles with her thumbs in line to get into the town square.
Talquin and Daria just went off on their own to find their seats, but she still needs to get her finger pricked. Shouldn't hurt much, or at least shouldn't hurt as much as the branding from the Forge did. If she's to die in the Games, Alithiya hopes it'll be quick and easy as opposed to the prolonged feeling of burning metal pressed against her flesh. Above all though, Alithiya hopes that she won't be dying.
She doesn't want to die, and she can't die either because that would defeat the entire purpose of going to the Capitol to win the Games and defend Atlantis' memory. She's always been stubborn, and now that just means she finds the very prospect of her death nonpermissible.
"Essetella, Alithiya, Eighteen," A Peacekeeper smears her blood on an index card and speaks in a monotone, "Right behind me."
See! That wasn't all that bad! I can do this, I can do this, I can totally do this! Alithiya strolls behind him with a skip in her step and curtseys in front of a white wooden seat before sitting down and facing the stage.
A finger from the section behind her taps her shoulders, causing Alithiya to rapidly snap her head, "Excuse me?"
"I just wanted to say good luck, that's all," A girl with dark hair down to her shoulders and pale skin who looks vaguely familiar says, "You're Alithiya, right?"
"Sure am," She smiles. Maybe she's seen this girl around the 'Kov or something?
"Celestino Ivory," The girl nods, "I'm hoping to volunteer like you next year."
Right! There are people who go to the 'Kov to volunteer and not just for the free snacks and workout equipment. Even if she was dating somebody who felt that way, Alithiya still thinks it's so funny that people willingly train their entire lives for the entire purpose of the Hunger Games as opposed to just using them as a way to write off trauma and be productive about it.
"Good luck then," Alithiya decides not to say anything snarky to her, "Hopefully I'll be your mentor!"
Being mentor. The thought alone is enough to send her into laughter. Perhaps the only thing possibly funnier would be Atlantis trying to give people advice as they willingly throw out their lives for the sake of the Games. She's not throwing her own life out though, no. Without Atlantis, she hardly has one.
"Good morning District Four," Their mayor, a rather short man, hobbles center stage and addresses the crowd, "Thank you so much for joining me for the Reaping Ceremony for the 52nd Annual Hunger Games, yes yes very exciting!"
The response is polite yet loud. Nobody in Four's ever really afraid of the reapings as of late. It's hard to remember a time when the District didn't produce two volunteers so the ceremony has become more of a celebration of all the valiant battles they've won and fought, or some patriotic bullshit like that.
Alithiya sighs, This is about to get boring… and the mayor goes onto his speech, reading directly from Panem's Treaty of Treason, "In penance for their uprising, each District shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of twelve and eighteen at a public Reaping. These Tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. And then transferred into a public arena, where they will fight to the death until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as "The Hunger Games." For some reason, this garners applause, which Alithiya contributes to, "And now, it is my greatest pleasure to introduce the six champions from District Four who came back from this pageant victorious."
Five women emerge proud from behind the mayor, accompanied by a small boy, Juno, hunched over and looking relatively out of place in their presence. It's kind of hilarious. Alithiya remembers telling the kid to volunteer last year when they were both drunk off their asses, but she never thought the little bastard would actually do it… and win. Having him with her in the Capitol is definitely going to make things interesting.
"From the 25th Games, we have Mira Eventide. From the 30th Games, we have Erin Desjardin. From the 32nd Games, we have Euphoria Fonseca," As the mayor introduces each lady, they step forward and offer a quaint courtesy. Alithiya's never met any of those three; they're sort of regarded as old news around these parts, yet she still smiles. "From the 48th Games, we have Hezediah Zenkovah. From the 49th Games, we have Kani Fairchild." She does recognize those two. Hezediah since her surname is what gave the 'Kov its name and Kani's in the same year as her, so Alithiya remembers times when they were younger.
"And last but not least, from the 51st Games, we have Juno Argostoli," He lets out an exasperated sigh and just laughs at himself. Alithiya realizes then that maybe he's not the full-of-himself child he was last year when they met anymore. That certainly doesn't bode well for her.
"And with that, I'll leave things to our official Capitol Escort, Lady Shesells Seashells!" The mayor steps aside to reveal a woman in a grandiose outfit accented by the obvious seashells as well as hues of turquoise and indigo.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Shesells' voice is obnoxiously high pitched, "I don't want to leave all you lovelies waiting for long, so I'll just hop right on it and select our lovely lady Tribute." She waves her arm around inside the glass bowl next to her before drawing a name, "Maevyn Voydanoi!"
A small girl with blonde hair steps from the thirteens pen and casually walks up to the stage. She doesn't seem too worried given Four's circumstances as she stands next to Shesells.
As is procedural, Alithiya waits for the Escort to ask the magic question, "Do we have any volunteers?"
Admittedly, a small part of her hopes that for some reason against all odds, Atlantis will rise again to take poor little Maevyn's place, yet of course that doesn't happen. It's really just her now. She takes a deep breath before rising from her chair and raising her hand, "I volunteer as Tribute!"
Pretending to be surprised, Shesells gasps, "A volunteer! Well then, make your way up here and introduce yourself."
Alithiya walks to the stage with her head held high and smiles once she's beside Shesells, "Good morning District Four. My name is Alithiya Essetella and I'm here in honor of Atlantis Seasbane."
"Very brave, very brave," Shesells pats her on the back and then looks down at Maevyn, "You're free to go dear. I've got to select our male Tribute!"
The child steps away and Shesells sticks her hand in the second bowl. In just a few seconds, another youngling's going to walk up on the stage, only to be saved by Lachlan Aberforth, her designated partner. He's nice enough, Alithiya figures. At the very least, he seems easy to work with.
"Our male Tribute will be… Atlas Zephyr!"
Before the boy with dark brown hair can even step out of the fifteens and walk onto stage, Alithiya hears familiar footsteps, and they're not from Lachlan either.
From across the crowd, Alithiya sees Talquin running towards her with desperation in his eyes, "I volunteer as Tribute!"
i only wish you weren't my friend
then i could hurt you in the end
i never claimed to be a saint
my own was banished long ago
it took the death of hope to let you go
[snuff – slipknot]
Admittedly, it takes Talquin a few seconds to realize why Alithiya's so angry at him in the justice building. Because she should be glad he's here, since the reason Talquin volunteered is to protect her, after all, though as soon as she starts talking, he gets it…
"So you don't think I can win alone?" She scoffs, arms crossed and propped up against a wall. Rico's already finished his visit with her and now Alithiya's just stalling before she heads for the train.
"It's not that––" Talquin cuts off his own words, "It's n-not that––" He sighs. There's no way to sugarcoat his paranoia that Alithiya's going to do something dumb and ruin her entire quest for preserving Atlantis' memory, but that doesn't mean his words have to sound bitter. Truth of the matter is, Alithiya volunteering broke his heart in two, and the only thing worse would be it all being in vain. But there's no way to say that without sounding like a fucking asshole, Talquin slowly realizes.
And obviously I'm not a fucking asshole, I'm sacrificing my own life so she can live out the fullest meaning of hers, His face falls. I didn't think she'd be mad at me for it. And maybe that's because Talquin wasn't thinking at all. Because really it should've been obvious that Alithiya would be mad at him for something like this, the way he basically told her he thinks she's incapable, even if he didn't mean it like that.
"Then what is it, Talquin?" Alithiya rolls her eyes, "You had so much, yet you've thrown it all out for a fight I could win myself. I have nothing, don't you get it?"
"You have me," He pleads, though he's not sure if it's the right time.
"Sure won't if I get back from the Games," She rationalizes, "You know it can only be one of us, right? And now you've given everything up."
It sinks in, and Talquin feels horrible. He knows he has to protect her, but by doing so he's getting rid of the one thing at home she has to look forward to. By protecting her, he's doing exactly what his sister did, and he's leaving everything behind for a quest he may not even fulfil. He's leaving behind Daria…
"I understand, for the record," She stands on her tiptoes from behind him and rests her forehead on his shoulder, "If you don't come back, Talquin, I'm really going to miss you."
He turns around and kisses her forehead, whispering, "I'm sorry I didn't think things through and you're going to get hurt because of it."
Daria smiles, but it's not her normal smile. It's more of a subtle one to hold back tears, so she can pretend everything is fine and she isn't straight-up on the verge of breaking, "How could I possibly be hurt when you're involved? I'm thankful for all the time we had together. I'm thankful that you showed me that I'm lovable."
Showed her that she's loveable because my own sister told her she wasn't. My own sister who's haunted memory I'm dying for. The situation's fucked but all Talquin can do is cup Daria's face in her hands and tilt her lips towards his. It's a gentle kiss, like most of theirs are, but that doesn't mean he wants it to end. He mutters, "I hope somebody else can love you someday."
She pulls away, and now there's nothing she can do to stop her tears, "They'll never be you, Talquin. I'll see you on the other side, no matter how long it takes."
Is he making some sort of a terrible mistake? Should he have just stuck to his pitiful grief in Four and allowed Alithiya's corpse to add to it because at least he has Daria? Why wasn't she enough for him? Why's he going to die for Atlantis who broke his beloved and his best friend who wishes he'd stayed home. Talquin wants to go back, but it's too late now. He's helpless.
"You're really ruining your life for your fuck-up of a sister and her dipshit girlfriend," He recognizes his father Nerio's voice immediately and wants to push him out of the building, "Talquin, I thought you were better than this."
He thinks the same thing about himself, Talquin, I thought you were better than this. Because of course, of course, he's having regrets and his father just so happens to be around to voice them. But he can't give into Nerio if he wants to be the hero he probably falsely claimed to be.
"The main reason Atlantis was miserable was what you did to her," Talquin scoffs, just loud enough that his father can hear him, "I'm not going to let you do the same to me."
"Fine then," Nerio raises an eyebrow, "Jardanis was always my favorite son."
As much as he wants them to, Talquin refuses to let his father's words get to him. Instead he goes back to Daria, back to Alithiya who still's just standing there, musing, "You did this to yourself."
It's going to be a long few weeks. It's going to be his last few weeks too, and suddenly he's not so sure he's okay with that.
Hezediah and Juno are a nice change of pace for Alithiya in comparison to Talquin, who she can't believe she's actually mad at. Well… maybe mad isn't entirely the proper word for it, but she's for sure disappointed in him for betraying her trust and basically telling all of Panem she's incapable of doing anything for herself. And so, when Talquin sits alone in the corner of the train, Alithiya doesn't pay attention to him.
"I've got to say kid, I still can't believe you fuckin' did that," She leans back in her seat and beams at Juno, "You know when I told you to volunteer I was joking, right?"
"Nothing's a joke when you're me," He rolls his eyes and downs whatever's in his metal shot glass, "A legend, a victor, a mentor," His eyes trail to Talquin, still in his solitude, "And a fucking trendsetter too!"
Hezediah flips her long red hair and smirks, "You Four boys have got to stop volunteering when you're not allowed. You're making a mess out of our District."
"Me? A mess?" Juno deadpans, "I didn't realize becoming Four's first male victor made me 'a mess,' but then again, I'm just a kid, I don't know shit."
"They were branding you volunteers so this wouldn't happen again," Hezediah sighs in response, and Alithiya almost feels like she's listening in on a conversation that she shouldn't be present for, "How'd Talquin even get in?"
"Probably got one of Xianrith's minions to brand him," Juno reaches for the bottle in the middle of the table to pour himself another shot, "And the whole branding thing was dumb as fuck anyways. Why would the escort give a shit about patriotic flesh-stains? That's not her job. I don't know why you had so much faith in somebody named Shesells Seashells in the first place."
Despite how snarky his voice is, he makes good points, which just goes to further show how fucked everything is. Ultimately it doesn't matter which two kids Four sends to the Games, because they're just entertainment pawns when push comes to shove, And for some reason Atlantis was so gung-ho for it all… By now, Alithiya's accepted she'll never understand her, which just gives her more reasons to fight.
"What's his deal anyways," Juno continues, gesturing to Talquin, "He practically looks like he's shitting himself."
"Juno," Hezediah slaps him on the wrist, "You can't just say that about somebody you're in the room with. Go and apologize."
"I'm sorry you look like you're shitting yourself," He calls out, which just leads to a disappointed expression on Hezediah's face, "Anyways, what happened with him?"
Alithiya taps her foot on the ground and sighs, "Well he's my best friend, so I'm going to agree with Heze on the shitting comments, but that being said, he volunteered to protect me."
"Well that's one way to hit on someone," Juno cackles, downing his second (third?) shot, "Didn't you have a girlfriend?"
"He's not hitting on me," She clarifies, "And well I did have a girlfriend."
"What happened?" Juno asks with genuine concern, "Wait… nevermind, I heard what happened. I'm sorry."
"Talquin's her sister, you know," Hezediah adds, "Atlantis Seasbane, Talquin Seasbane. Twins separated and reunited only to be torn apart."
"Yikes," Juno slams the table, "And I thought my volunteering situation was complicated…"
"Tell me about it," Alithiya nervously chuckles, "You know, Talquin didn't have to protect me. I could've won on my own."
"I'd say it's hard, but it wasn't really hard for me," Juno leans back and laughs at his own shitty joke, "It was pretty rough for Heze though––"
"At least I didn't need a dragon to help me," She cuts him off, "Point is, I get why you're upset, but maybe we should be inclusive of him, he clearly has good intentions."
Yeah. Talquin did have good intentions and perhaps that's why Alithiya's most upset about the whole thing. Because maybe he had a point, maybe she can't win by herself and she does need him, why does she need a six foot four vaguely white boy to live? And why does she feel bad when he's pouting by himself like a puppy? Alithiya nearly wishes she never had the capability to be mad at him in the first place.
"Hey bitch," She decides she'll be casual, like nothing's wrong.
"Alithiya?" He replies immediately, "Do you not hate me anymore?"
"No, she still does," Juno calls from his own chair, "She fucking hates you Talquin!"
Again, Hezediah has to reprimand him, "Juno, you are not being a very good mentor right now."
"You weren't a good mentor to me and I did just fine," He snaps, tongue hanging out of his mouth, "I'll buy their victory when push comes to shove."
"With what money?" She sneers at him, and again Alithiya feels like she shouldn't be in this conversation.
"With what money?" Juno mocks her, then waits a minute, "Alright, alright, so glad to hear you guys are friends again, these ladies were exhausting."
Talquin stands next to Juno and smiles. The difference in their heights is stifling, and Juno gulps when he looks up. Talquin could very easily snap at him, but he doesn't, because he's a good person.
And that's why Talquin volunteered, too. Because he's a good person. She'll let him continue to be one.
"You look ridiculous," Even if it's an insult, Talquin's glad that Alithiya's talking to him again. Doesn't change the fact that he feels bad though, doesn't change how valid she is for being upset with him. Doesn't change the fact he can't do anything to make it better because he's screwed himself over and left future Alithiya friendless in the process.
And she's right, by the way. Talquin looks fucking ridiculous standing on the platform of the chariot with a puffy white shirt, a blue and yellow vest, flared black pants, a wide hat with a skull on it, and a patch over his eye, "I think that's the point."
"Are people just supposed to be attracted to us, even though we're wearing this?" Alithiya's ensemble isn't too flattering either, her body draped in a dress with the same blue and yellow hues of his vest and a glove with a hook on one of her hands, "I mean, I get that Capitolites have their fetishes, but eyepatches and facades of amputated limbs, c'mon?"
Talquin banters in response, "You mean you never fantasized about my sister as some sort of a sex-god pirate sticking a hook into your–– nevermind, that's disgusting."
"You said that with a lot of confidence buddy," She taps onto his shoulder with her hook, "Are you sure you never thought about Atlantis, your own fuckin' sister, half blind and–– okay, you're right. That's nasty."
They laugh together, and it's almost like everything's back to normal, emphasis on almost because before they know it, the wheels of the chariot begin to move and they're sent traveling through the stadium, people all around them stopping and staring.
Oddly enough, Talquin enjoys the attention. He's never been the most outgoing, and he's even content in just sticking to himself, Alithiya, and Daria on any given night, yet there's something about the way he's being stared at, that he can't help but allow a smile to creep onto his lips.
It's something he could get used to, even though he shouldn't be getting used to attention from the Capitol. I'm not supposed to like these people, He reminds himself and sighs, They practically took my sister away from me, and now they've enabled me to take myself too. Talquin wonders if things would be better if he wasn't in his head all the time. Maybe then he wouldn't put too much wait into his earlier fight with Alithiya and the possibility of everything changing for the worse.
And I'm not supposed to enjoy this anyways. All this fanfare, it's supposed to be for Atlantis. It was supposed to be for her, but she died and now I'm supposed to pick up the pieces and save her legacy, and the spotlight should be more on Alithiya than it is me, Talquin adjusts his face to seem less aggressive, less like he's enjoying himself even if he still is.
He just can't help how nice it is to not be perceived as the boy who killed his own sister or the boy who didn't believe in his own best friend. He just can't help how much he enjoys not being an outsider. I bet Atlantis would've thought the same way. Maybe all the bright lights and attention could've saved her, since Talquin never had a chance in hell.
The chariot returns to the pitch and stops, Alithiya immediately collapsing onto the railing in front of them and sighing, "That would've been way more fun if I were drunk."
It's nice that even in the Capitol, the two of them can pretend everything's the same.
To put it plain and simple, the other Careers are a bunch of fuckin' assholes. Not that Alithiya expected anything better, of course. She's seen the way the kids from One and Two act in the Games on screen, all ruthless and stoic, and that's not who she is. Maybe that was Atlantis, but it's not Alithiya and it certainly isn't Talquin either.
"Alright well, we've had our fun at the survival station, but I think we ought to nominate a formal leader," She hopes her prominent volume is enough to get the attention of the others, "Clearly we all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we need somebody who can pull us together if we want to survive."
She's had… decent experience leading before, mainly just at the Hove when Rico was out fishin' and she was in charge of assigning people to different stations around the place. Was it the most high profile position of power? Well, definitely not, but it did teach her that having a loud place can get a woman pretty far.
"I already said, I'm leading," Marathon Mirone, the boy from Two crosses his arms and scoffs, "Do you not remember our discussion from the morning?"
He's the typical Career, all tall, dark, and angry with a semi-sadistic smile, and from the moment Alithiya first met Mary (that's what he says people can call him), she knew she wouldn't like him one bit. As the day goes on, she continues to prove herself right.
"Personally, I never agreed to that," Talquin, who seems to be equally pissed off, chimes in, "And neither did anyone else."
"I called it though," Mary adds, his volume increasing with every syllable.
Argentine from One rolls her eyes, "That's not how it works."
She's definitely on the softer side for Careers, even if she does have traces of some sort of a superiority complex. That's just natural for One, and at least she isn't as flamboyant and impulsive as her District partner, Visage, who says, "I totally agree, we don't need Mary to lead us just because he called it first."
The girl from Two, Judith Catoclyps has been rather quiet, like she's stuck in some sort of rabid drug-induced haze. Lucky shit. But eventually, she starts to talk, "Do we even need a leader? Why can't we just do teamwork."
"That's a recipe for chaos, honey," Visage rolls his eyes and picks at a strand of his dark curly hair, "If anybody should be calling the shots, it's Talquin though. He seems to be the most level-headed."
Alithiya's not going to correct them, but the fact they consider somebody who's only going into the arena for the sake of protecting somebody else isn't what the typical person would call level-headed.
"I'm fine with––" Talquin tries to speak but a loud grunt from Mary's mouth cuts him off.
"You're a weakling compared to me, Seasbane. If you lead, the whole arena could go up in flames and you wouldn't know how to put it out." Objectively speaking, Talquin's anything but a weakling, but Alithiya isn't going to say anything that could possibly further anger Mary.
That night, Talquin collapses on the couch next to Alithiya and sighs, "Do you think, maybe we should just go off on our own in the arena?"
"It'll just make them hate us," It's a possibility she's considered herself, but that doesn't change the fact it isn't daunting, "I don't think we should be making enemies while we're in here."
"Right on that," He nods, "I just feel like we have souls and they're all too heartless."
But after everything that's happened, it's no wonder Talquin and Alithiya's hearts are as big as they are.
He really doesn't fit in here. Talquin paces back and forth in the sparring room as Judith and Marathon from Two continue their third verbal fight of the day, already emotionally and socially exhausted after just four hours of training.
Physically? He's fine. He's got the blessing of being strong enough from working on the boats, and of course the occasional classes at the 'Kov helped him, but mentally, Talquin isn't quite sure how he'll put up with these people for an extended period of time where they'll also be trying to kill one another.
"You're just a junkie, what do you know?" Mary screams at Judith between slashes of his plastic practice sword, "Can you just shut the fuck up?"
"All I said was that you're all talk," She retaliates, trying and failing to sneak up from behind and strike at him, "I'm shocked the Academy didn't kick you out, I'm sure the only reason you're here is because you fucked a trainer or something."
He pivots and hits her left hip, "Well at least that means I'm fuckable!"
At this point, Talquin convinced that the two of them are simply arguing for the sake of arguing, and their both so fucking loud too, it's impossible for him to just drown them out. After hearing Atlantis' yelling for so long, you'd think he'd be used to loud noises, but even now, they startle him.
"Do they ever shut the fuck up?" Alithiya leans over from the right and whispers in his ear, "I can't tell if they genuinely hate each other or if he's dicking her down every night and this is just their foreplay."
"What the fuck?" He mutters, "I'm pretty damn sure they actually hate each other."
Was she like this with Atlantis… nevermind.
Argentine and Visage are a bit more tolerable, but not by much. Really though, it's easy to be tolerable in comparison to the Twos. They're just a bit… flashy, so to speak, but that's to be expected with District One. Atlantis would've probably adored them, but Talquin isn't her.
It really is odd that in just under three days' time, he's going to be standing on a platform as a timer clocks down, and once the gong rings, he'll be expected to kill. He knew he'd have to kill people when he made the choice to volunteer, but the closer it gets, the more unsure he is about it's morality.
Even at the 'Kov, Talquin had wondered whether or not he'd be able to kill somebody if he was ever in the Games for some reason, but he didn't think he'd need to worry about it. It's just that, there's something so abhorrent about the fact he himself trained as a child to kill other children, and that's just supposed to be something normal. It's inherently a bad thing, Talquin knows that killing is bad and good people don't kill other people, yet that doesn't change the fact he's always considered Atlantis a good person, despite the fact she was banking on a murder pageant to give her happiness. Maybe it's the Capitol's fault, not his.
At dinner, he expresses these worries to Alithiya once Hezediah and Juno have left the table, "Have you ever thought about the whole killing people thing?"
"What do you mean?" Comes her reply, her voice a bit sore from telling Judith and Mary to shut up earlier.
"Me and you," Talquin nods solemnly, "We're going to have to kill people, and we're going to have to do it soon."
Alithiya ponders for a bit, her nails tapping against the hard-oak table before she answers, "Well, if the people we kill are as annoying as the Twos, I have no problem with it."
Talquin laughs. He shouldn't, but he does anyway. Because that's another sad thing about the Games, the people he kills, he isn't going to know a damn thing about them, and he's just going to become a villain to their families just so he can be the hero of his own.
He's expected to preserve two legacies but at the cost of potentially ending several more, and he wonders if that's right.
She's unquestionably nervous during her interview with Caesar, and that's an odd thing because for so long, Alithiya's said that she simply doesn't get nervous, that emotion's foreign to her. Yet now, it's all she can feel, her intestines twisting in her stomach as the lights shine on her face with applause projected across the amphitheatre.
"Well Alithiya," Caesar begins, a smile on his face that she can't quite replicate, "I've got word you weren't originally going to volunteer, is that correct."
Cutting right to the chase, of course he is, she twists in her seat, the sweat from underneath her skirt sticking to the leather."You'd be right," She licks her lips, unsure what to say, "Originally my girlfriend was supposed to be here, not me."
"Interesting," He rubs his thumb against his chin and nods, "And I suppose there's a reason she's not here now."
What do I say? She panics to herself, Do I just tell him the truth, tell him about the suicide and how this is all I can do for her now that she's gone? Do I tell him I tried to protect her but ultimately it was too late and now I'm just a shadow of her legacy trying to see the light? What the fuck do I say?
Alithiya sighs, "Unfortunately, my dearest Atlantis Seasbane took her life just a few weeks before the Reaping."
"Seasbane, as in––"
She already knows what he's asking, "Yes, as in Talquin Seasbane. Atlantis was his twin sister. He's volunteering in her honor, as am I."
An awkward silence falls over the crowd so Alithiya just keeps talking, "I miss her every day, I really do. I wish she was here instead of me, that's all she wanted. But the world can be a terrible place, as I'm sure you know Caesar, and sometimes the darkest demons aren't the ones trying to rebel against our dear Capitol but the ones living in our own head."
She's disgusted with her own words too, Our dear Capitol? Please–– they're half the reason Atlantis' dead, but the audience likes them so maybe they were worth saying. Atlantis has taught her time and time again that words can be weapons sharper than swords, it's just a matter of who's hand the blade is in.
"I imagine you and Talquin are close then," Caesar waits a moment before speaking again, "What's it like going into this life or death situation with somebody you already know?"
Alithiya decides to try a joke, "Well it's nice having the reassurance he probably won't kill me in my sleep, that's for sure," and she's met with laughter, "But really, it's sad knowing that only one of us could potentially make it out of here. It's what we have to do though, for Atlantis' sake. I'm not saying we're on a suicide mission ourseleves, but regardless she'll probably enjoy some company in heaven."
"Well I wish you all the best," Caesar smiles, trying to wrap the interview up, "I never met Atlantis, obviously, but I know that if she was here right now, she'd be so proud of you."
If she was here right now, she wouldn't be proud of me because she'd be the person getting interviewed, that's kind of the whole point. But it's too late for her to say anything and correct him because he's already standing tall next to her and gesturing in her direction, "Alithiya Essetella everyone!"
She walks off stage, and she wishes she had a drink.
"We've already heard a bit about this from Alithiya, but I'll ask you yourself Talquin," Caesar sits back in his chair and fiddles with his microphone, "If you weren't originally supposed to volunteer, why are you here with us tonight?"
He'd spent the entirety of the day preparing for his interview, unlike Alithiya who hardly left the couch, claiming she was tired from training, and she could just "wing it," so Talquin knew this would be one of the first things Caesar asked him, especially after last year and Juno's surprise appearance in the Games. He answers calm and composed, "I know I broke some rules in Four when I decided to volunteer, but I don't regret it for the world. There's so many things I could have done to save Atlantis when she was still with us, so the least I can do now is honor her in these Games she loved so dearly."
The audience seems to like what he said, so he smiles in return. Talquin's always been good enough at getting people to like him, always speaking from the heart and what not, but he thought the Capitolites would be harder to please than they seem to be. He doesn't feel a hundred percent comfortable around them or anything, but he's a lot less afraid than he thought he'd be. Alithiya killed her interview just minutes ago, yet he's not afraid of keeping up with her momentum when their interviews seem to be flowing into one another so nicely.
Again, Talquin doesn't mind the spotlight. He nearly basks in it before reminding himself, This isn't for you, you shouldn't be celebrated right now. You're here to accomplish a goal and keep Alithiya safe. This isn't a vacation, so don't enjoy it.
But maybe trying to enjoy it is better than Talquin moping with pity for his inevitable death so close on the horizon, Don't think about that either, you clown. Just… try to get them to like you since they already like Alithiya and they need a combined unit to root for, so we can both get far, together.
"Even in your grief, you're still supporting our country and our Games," Caesar seems oddly sentimental about the whole thing, "Now that's what I call heroic."
"I'm flattered, but I've never considered myself a hero," Talquin brushes off the compliment, as much as he genuinely appreciates it, "I just need to keep the Seasbane name alive, and if I can't do it, I'll protect my best friend since that's just as good."
Lord knows Talquin couldn't give a single shit about any Seasbane besides Atlantis, but the Capitol feeds on lies and he's willing to be a caterer, "These Games, my volunteering… It's not about just me, it's about everyone. It's about legacy. So Lachlan, I'm sorry I volunteered when it was your turn on Four's pecking order, but I couldn't let my family's name go to shame."
He's met with applause, Caesar clapping along with the crowd, "Well then I'll at least call you noble, is that alright?"
Talquin nods, "If you're willing to accept that my actions will never be for myself, but for my sister and Alithiya, sure."
With a standing ovation, Caesar proclaims his name once more, "Talquin Seasbane, District Four's most pleasant entropy."
She's never worked this hard for a beer in her entire life. Alithiya's never considered herself an alcoholic by any means, but the speed at which she cracks open the can Hezediah so generously hands her might as well qualify her for ninety days in rehab.
"You're a godsend," She smiles as the cool liquid hits her throat, sitting on the balcony of Four's apartment and overlooking the bright Capitol lights, "I can't tell you how badly I've needed a drink this whole week."
Hezediah leans over on the railing, "You two deserve it. You've had quite the week."
Talquin of course isn't drinking, because he's Talquin, but he still holds the can and smiles. Alithiya stands next to him and pats him on the shoulder, "You know, you're being really rude right now. Hezediah gave you a beer when she didn't have to, and you're not even drinking it."
"Are you trying to get me to give it to you?" He tries to hand her the can but she pushes it away.
"No, I'm saying you should drink it for yourself," Alithiya can tell he's about to lecture him on why he doesn't drink, so she preemptively cuts him off, "Before you go and make excuses, stop and consider… This could very well be the last time you're offered alcohol. Do you really want to die saying you've never gotten absolutely trashed with your best friend?"
Talquin sighs and fidgets with the lid of the can, "Okay well I don't think we should get trashed persay…"
"I think you should both get trashed," Juno laughs, already on his third or fourth drink of the evening, "It's not like you're going into a death match tomorrow or anything."
"They kind of are," Hezediah corrects him, "That being said, a little party never hurt nobody." It's funny hearing her sound so lighthearted, but that's probably the alcohol talking.
"Why are we getting so excited?" Talquin nags, taking his first sip of the beer, "It's not like I'm going to… oh… this is good."
An hour and three beers later, Talquin's screaming off the balcony, "I'm a fucking god!"
"Fuck yeah, you are!" Alithiya follows him. As dumb as it sounds, she's always dreamed about getting drunk with her best friend, and maybe now's not the most responsible time to do it, but better now than never, right? She's had four drinks herself, and she's kind of shocked Talquin's such a lightweight, but she's definitely not complaining.
"He's insane," Juno whispers in her ear whilst Talquin runs around with his hands in the air, "I think I'm obsessed with him."
"Daria Makrain, you are the sexiest vixen I've ever seen," In the distance, he screams.
"Welcome to the club," Alithiya smiles because there's something just so comforting about seeing her best friend, seeing her platonic soulmate act so carefree for once in his life, so jubilant, like he doesn't have anything to worry about when in reality he has so much. She calls out to him, "Fuck it up, Tally-boy!"
Hezediah stands between her and Juno, "You never told me he could be this… dramatic," she says with a chuckle.
"If there was such thing as doing too fucking awesome in an interview, I'd have done it," Talquin yells, running up to Alithiya and giving him a hug, "Did you know you're my best fucking friend."
She whispers to Hezediah, "I swear, this is the first time he's been like this," and then loses herself in Talquin's arms, "You're my best friend too."
"I would die for you, Alithiya," He proclaims, and she does have to admit it dampens the mood a tad, "In fact, I will die for you, my best fucking friend!"
That isn't what she wants to think about. Just for once, she doesn't need a reminder of just how fucked the two of them's world is, so she tries to change the subject, "Let's go back to talking about something else!"
"My sister fucking killed herself!" Talquin lets go of Alithiya who puts her head in her hands, "My sister was your girlfriend, and she fucking killed herself!"
She sighs, "That sure did happen, didn't it?"
"It's tragic!" He waves his hands in the air then walks towards Hezediah, "I think I want another beer."
Alithiya gets in the way, "Don't give him one," because they do have an important day up ahead of them, and even if it's just nine in the evening, they really should get a good night's sleep… Lord, since when am I the responsible one here.
"Give him one! Give him one!" Juno chants, and because Hezediah's so drunk herself, she listens to him and hands Talquin a can.
He squeezes it with one hand until it's torn in the middle, so he holds it to his face and chugs through his own diabolical laughter, "I really fucking love beer!"
She grabs another can for herself and continues to watch Talquin in all his tomfoolery. For a moment, it's like they're back in Four, not a care in the world, and just one another. For a moment, everything's good and nothing could possibly go wrong. Because they have each other, and that's enough now. It's enough now and it's always going to be enough.
For a moment, Alithiya Essetella is safe within her place in the world.
For a moment, Alithiya swears she sees Atlantis' eyes in the stars of the sky of her last normal night.
She'll hold onto that moment.
this is a wasteland, my only retreat
with heaven above you, there's hell over me
You said what about us, well what about me
hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain
this is a wasteland, my only retreat
[hell above – pierce the veil]
He's lucky that he didn't puke, honestly, because when Talquin woke up, he sure as hell thought he was going to.
He'd asked Alithiya in a hungover haze, "How much did I have to drink last night?
"You called Daria a sexy vixen, I think that should say enough," Was her reply, and he immediately blushed in embarrassment.
If Daria had heard that, I'd like to hope she would take it as a compliment? Lord, what other shit did I say last night…
Whatever it was, it doesn't matter, because Talquin's nausea's been replaced with nerves as his platform slowly rises, light peeking out from the roof covering his head. He's wearing long striped nylon pants that fit a bit too tightly on his legs and an unfortunately low amount of pockets and a loose fitting white shirt marked with a "4." It's odd, wearing a uniform from the Capitol, being told he's no longer himself but rather a pawn for their entertainment yet at the same time it's comforting to not be the ass who left his sister to die. He's just one of twenty-four.
The countdown immediately begins once he is raised into the arena. He takes a deep breath, knowing this will be where he dies, but at least it's rather nice.
They're all on a dock, or rather a pier, because it's larger than a dock, and if he squints his eyes narrow enough he can see a sparkling ocean in the distance. While the Cornucopia's resting place is rather bare, the rest of the arena doesn't seem to be. Behind him's a ferris wheel, slowly spinning even now, and in the opposite direction there's a large tent striped the same as his pants.
In between the two large entities are smaller stalls and animatronics, all looking like they were once occupied by people, almost haunted in a way. Really, the whole place is haunted. Talquin understands that he's at a carnival, and that carnivals are supposed to be fun (not that he would know, he's never been to one), but here he's just eerie. That could be in part due to the fact he's arrived at the stage of his death, but even if he wasn't here to die, he'd still be suspicious.
Because it's a carnival of carnage and him and the other Tributes are just the Capitol's clowns. They're just entertainment in cages demanding they be ridiculed.
But there's no time to analyze, the countdown's already struck fourty.
Alithiya's three people over from him on the right and he's relieved as soon as their eyes meet. The bloodbath's just going to be a matter of her not doing anything to get herself killed.
Marathon's two over on the left, and that terrifies Talquin. He's got a look in his eyes like he's hungry, like he's a predator who's been starved of his prey for far too long and he's now grown rabid for a feast.
Judith is directly across from Mary, likely to avoid drama this early in the Games, but he's got his eyes on her regardless. Argentine and Visage seem cocky yet determined, but really Talquin isn't all that afraid of them (or at least not yet).
Directly on his sides are the boy from Six and the girl from Nine, neither of them younger than sixteen and both of them far too innocent to die. She's got a look on her face that says she's accepted her death, and Talquin just hopes it won't be too brutal. He also knows Mary specializes in cruelty and won't be so forgiving. It's hard for Talquin to accept her impending misery.
The countdown strikes ten and he watches as the other Tributes prepare their stances before Games officially begin. He does the same, bending his legs into a lunge position so that he'll be ready when Caesar calls, "Let the fifty-second annual Hunger Games begin!"
And then he's off into the beginning of his end.
She's always said that she's fond of chaos, but this wasn't what she meant.
Alithiya's not even that scared, she promises she isn't, because she knew what she was getting into, but rather conflicted on what her actions should be as the bloodbath progresses. She could kill someone, actually she really should kill someone, since that's what she has to do to survive here, but she feels like something's holding her back.
Actually, she knows something is holding her back and that something is none other than Marathon Mirone, who quickly sprinted to the center to grab a mace and now has the girl from Nine hoisted in the air and pushed up against the Cornucopia wall.
"Listen up everyone, I'm about to show you what a real warrior looks like," He announces whilst Alithiya's just trying to find a knife she can use, and then find Talquin.
It's impossible for her not to stare though as Marathon shatters the girl's knees with his mace, taunting her when she cries, "You really think somebody's going to help you? It's not like you can run away now."
The girl squirms some more and Mary laughs before bashing the mace at her face, the spikes piercing her skin immediately whilst blood runs from her skull. He drops her to the ground and takes another swing, this time at her neck before a cannon fires and he smiles.
Somebody's dead, yet Mary's smiling about it. Asshole. He waves his mace in the air, crimson still dripping off the edges and cheers for himself, "First blood of these Games, not that I'm surprised or anything."
"Good lord I hate you," Alithiya mutters before running off, seeing Talquin's tall figure in the distance. In the meanwhile, another cannon goes off, and she can only assume it was the work of Argentine or Visage. Hopefully they were less monstrous than Mary.
Once she's reunited with Talquin, Alithiya wants nothing more than to hug him, yet she knows now's not the time. He's wielding a sword and he's slightly unnerved when he says, "So are we just supposed to kill somebody now?"
Alithiya sighs and then nods, "Yeah, I think so."
They watch as Tributes run around them in attempts to reach the Cornucopia and share a glance that says "Wait, how do we just pick somebody to kill?" even if neither say a thing. Alithiya tries to imagine what Atlantis would do, and she knows her lover would've just gotten over it and killed somebody without hesitation.
"Maybe him?" She points her pinky finger at the boy from Five, because he doesn't look very strong or very old or very capable of getting far, and really they'd be doing him a favor if they killed her instead of Marathon, not that that justifies killing an innocent.
Talquin nods and goes to chase the boy, which isn't too hard considering he practically towers over him in height, and he grabs him by the arm, his sword in the other.
Before Talquin arrives to her, an ear-piercing scream followed by another cannon. Marathon.
The boy Talquin's caught is shivering, "Are you guys going to kill me?"
The genuine pain in his voice makes Alithiya want to cry, but instead she says softly, "I'm so sorry."
She closes her eyes and points her knife at his throat whilst Talquin holds him, his arms swinging at Alithiya's chest. She opens her eyes and panics, bringing the blade down on one of his hands. It hardly bleeds, but it definitely stops the hitting.
The knife's at Five's throat again, yet Alithiya still can't bring herself to just stab him. She doesn't get how carnage comes so naturally to others, and she's disgusted by it.
Another scream, another cannon.
"Do you want me to do it?" Talquin whispers and Alithiya nods. He wraps his sword around the boy who's now in hysterics and cuts at his face, slowly deepening the blade to draw blood. He traces the cuts down to Five's neck, his other hand still firm on his wrist as he gets closer and closer to the hitch of his throat. Closer and closer until he stops, "I–– fuck, I can't."
"I'll try," Alithiya says, closing her eyes and slashing her knife, hoping she hit the right spot. The cannon's melody makes her open them again, and she sees Five's skin coated in red and his skin turning pale. She looks up to Talquin who drops the body to the ground once they make eye contact and the two of them come to the realization, "We're horrible people, aren't we?"
She can just imagine how horrified Five's parent's must've been when they saw Talquin catch their son, and then when he cut his face and Alithiya pierced his throat and cameras zoomed into the moment where light finally left his eyes. They must hate her now, and maybe she deserves to be hated for being the villain in an innocent's history.
Talquin sighs, "Well at least you're my favorite person to be horrible with."
In a way, she's glad to have him with her, because she could've never killed by herself.
Two more cannons fire in close succession. Alithiya rolls her eyes, "What the hell's going on in here?" The Ones walk past them with bloodied weapons and uncomfortable looks on their faces, "Oh, they're going on in here."
Visage runs at Talquin and Alithiya with a pep in his step, "Didja kill anyone yet?"
"Just one," She admits, "I got a bit nervous."
He pats her on the back, but it's not very comforting, "I bet you'll be less nervous next time. How about you go and take the girl from Twelve?"
It's an odd spot to be in, because Alithiya can't exactly say no to him now.
She sighs and looks for her target. Hopefully she can make this quick. It's not too hard for her to find the girl with auburn hair and olive-colored skin. Just like the boy from Five, she doesn't deserve to die. She doesn't deserve to be slaughtered in cold blood.
Alithiya chases her into a corner by one of the pier's fences and brandishes her knife, the girl sighing and dropping herself in the ground, "Feel free to kill me now, I've been waiting a long time for this."
There's a rasp in her voice that reminds her far too much of Atlantis. And it scares her too, because what if Atlantis going into the arena was never for the glory but rather some sort of prolonged suicide note she ultimately couldn't even live for? She crouches over the girl, "Please don't say that. You don't deserve to die."
"Oh but I do," Twelve laughs so hard the back of her head slams against the ground, "I've deserved to die ever since I was born."
Again, she's reminded of Atlantis. Alithiya turns around to see Visage confused with her, Well I guess I've got to actually do it now.
Blood spurts onto her shirt from the second she plunges her knife into Twelve's chest, a mark of Alithiya's sins that'll never come out in the wash. It's official, I'm awful. She twists the blade to the right until a cannon fires and she can no longer look at what she's done.
She runs towards Visage and Talquin, now joined by Argentine and asks, "Where's the others?"
The general area of the Cornucopia seems to be cleared out, their only company being a loud, "You fucking manwhore," in a voice they all recognize immediately.
Alithiya grabs Talquin by the wrist and travels around the Cornucopia to see what she was hoping she wouldn't see yet knew in her heart would happen, Judith in Marathon's grip as he slams her head against the wall of the Cornucopia.
His mace pierces her eye and then bruises her lips, and even when the cannon roars, Mary continues. He bloodies her jaw and crumbles her hands, beating her until she's no longer recognizable. Alithiya doesn't have a clue when he'll stop with the abuse of a dead girl so she takes the opportunity to whisper in Talquin's ear, "Let's grab the others and run."
"Why the others?" He asks, "Didn't you want to get away, just us."
As inconclusive as her thoughts are regarding Argentine and Visage, she doesn't need them mad at her. Mary's likely already mad, and one angry person's a whole lot better than three, "We can't just leave them with him."
"You're right," Talquin furrows his brow and makes sure Mary's still giving Judith a beating as the two of them run to the Ones, "Okay, so what if we just leave without him."
Argentine smiles, "I think that's a good idea."
The four of them haven't a clue where they're going, but they know anywhere is better than alongside Marathon.
(Alithiya knows it's only a matter of time before it gets worse.)
It takes about five hours for it to all sink in. Not that it hadn't before, but Talquin's heart is practically beating out of its chest as he slowly realizes what he's done.
He killed someone, and Alithiya killed two people, two children. Visage and Argentine, they killed too, yet they're so relaxed about it. He gets that he's expected to kill, but that doesn't make it any better, especially when he's going to be dead himself in the end.
And I'm such a loser for obsessing over it, good lord why can't I get over it, Talquin muses, frustrated as he walks alongside Alithiya passing by carnival booths, not a clue where they're going but hoping it's far far away from Marathon, So what I killed somebody? That's the whole point of being in this place, you're supposed to kill people! Why the fuck am I so obsessed and worked up over something that I had no choice in doing… Fuck, okay, I did have a choice, and I killed because I'm awful. The only reason I'm here in the first place is because I'm awful, damnit. Why didn't I just let Alithiya handle this herself… She killed two people no problem and I'm just a bunch of dead weight––
"Are you okay?" Alithiya grabs him by the wrist, which he realizes now has been vigorously shaking, "Actually, don't answer that, I know you're not okay. What's up?"
He rolls his eyes, "Oh I don't know, just the fact that I killed somebody and you killed two people and you're just so chill about it."
She sighs, almost like she's disappointed in him for some reason Talquin doesn't know, "Damn, I must be a good actress then."
"Pardon?" He furrows his brows in confusion.
Alithiya frowns, "Please Talquin. You don't think I liked killing, right?"
"I mean, you seemed fine with it at the time," He rationalizes his own thoughts aloud, "But thank you for validating me, I guess. I think I really needed that."
She pats him on the shoulder, "I'm here for you whenever you need me, remember?"
"Right." But he doesn't feel very comforted. He's supposed to be here for her. Talquin's supposed to be Alithiya's knight in shining armor yet he couldn't even kill somebody without freaking out like he's some sort of a coward. Just thinking about the way his father probably got pissed when he hesitated to kill the boy from Five is enough to anger him instantly. Why's he even here if he can't support Alithiya? What's the point in all of this if he can't do the one thing he's supposed to do.
Maybe his father was right. Maybe Talquin's always been too submissive, too docile and unworthy of being the strong warrior he was apparently born to be. He doesn't have a clue why he ever bothered with trying.
They walk past a railing blocking the edge of the pier from air and then ocean. Waves lap against the rods holding the pier up and it's almost like he's home. But Talquin's not home, and he's never going to be home ever again. Even if by some corrupt force of nature he ends up being able to return to Four instead of Alithiya, it won't be the same place without her living there. It's never going to be the same again, and accepting that is way harder than it should be.
"I think we're almost there!" Argentine turns around and waves, "Just keep on following me!"
"Almost where?" He hears Visage whisper to Alithiya, "I thought we were just wandering around until we found someplace to settle. Did she always have an idea of where we were going?"
She responds, "I think she said we were going to that big tent thing."
Ah, makes sense! Talquin licks his lips then increases his pace to get closer to Argentine, loud thumps against the boardwalk with every step. It's a weird place, he's decided. Everything seems way closer together than it actually is, and the stalls lined up together make for a somewhat informidable maze to traverse.
Argentine stops once she's reached the entrance to the large tent, "I think we'll settle inside here for the night, or however long we decide is––" A cannon fires, cutting off her speech, "Okay, we'll stay inside here until we feel safe to be outside for long periods of time, because I think we can all assume that cannon's the work of Marathon."
Just his name is enough to make Talquin queasy. There's something about that kid that's not inhuman or unrealistic, but rather a harsh slap in the face of the brutality and ugliness that goes hand in hand with society as a whole. Sure, he doesn't want to kill or hurt somebody again, but he'd get over that for the opportunity to see Mary crumble the way he deserves.
"What a bitch!" Visage rolls his eyes at the cursed name, "Between me and the rest of y'all, I never really liked him."
"I don't think anybody ever liked him," Alithiya chimes in and Argentine nods in agreement, "I think we all just cautiously tolerated him out of fear."
"I agree, not that it matters since we're all safe now," Argentine can't even take herself seriously this time, bending over and laughing at herself, "What am I kidding, the boys a menace. Best we can do is hope we don't run into him."
"If we do, it's four of us and one of him," Talquin points out what he finds to be incredibly obvious, "Who's to say we can't just take him on together."
"Do you know where he is?" Argentine raises her brow, "Like honestly, do you?"
He sighs, "You're right. It's a waste of time and energy to go out looking for him. If he finds us, we'll be together anyways."
The thick fabric which serves as a makeshift door for the tent slaps against his skin as he ventures inside. It's shockingly underwhelming, just a large pit of sand and a few benches lining the sides. It's an eerie place, one he's not quite sure he likes.
Althiya runs around the aforementioned sand pit and ethuses, "Well I guess this is home!"
He doesn't get the same feeling, really to him, home seems more far away than ever before. At least he has Alithiya to prevent it from getting away further.
She wakes up with sand in her hair and it takes her a minute to process where she is. But eventually Alithiya figures it out, she's in a tent, still in the arena because she thankfully hasn't died yet, and lord is she hungry.
Her stomach cries for help so she rummages through one of the bags she took from the Cornucopia until she finds some beef jerky. Thankfully it's not the salted kind, but it's still pretty thick and getting all gross and stuck between her teeth. Better than starving, She thinks to herself, Better than starving.
She's alone for an hour before the others awake, Argentine yawning when she asks, "Do you remember how many people died yesterday?"
"Hmm," Talquin ponders, hand on his chin, "I think eight in the bloodbath and then the other one later in the day. So nine total?"
"Sounds about right to me," Visage nods. His hairs gotten all tangled and matted from sleeping on the sand and it's definitely not the most attractive look for him.
Alithiya surprisingly didn't mind sleeping not on a bed as much as she thought she would. Maybe that's because she was sleeping on sand instead of dirt or grass or even just wood or concrete, though. She's gotten used to sleeping on sand, after all. There were times when her and Atlantis would go on long walks in the middle of the night along the shores, and then they'd find a spot to just sit and talk. And they'd talk, and then they'd talk some more, and then they'd realize it was the middle of the night but home's so far away so they'd just fall asleep on the beach.
Rico always told her not to stay out too late, 'cause sketchy people like to hang out in Havenside at night, but she never really felt like she was in danger since she was in Atlantis' arms and that was just about the safest place she could ever be.
Sleeping on the sand in the arena wasn't much different, but it was definitely colder.
"We should go hunting today!" Argentine announces after they've all finished eating their morning jerky, "Two of us go out, two others stay here, what do you say?"
"Sounds good!" Perhaps her response is a bit too enthusiastic, because it leads to Argentine grabbing her wrist and pulling her off the ground, "Oh, so I'm coming with you? That's cool."
Really, Alithiya's already dreading having to kill again, but the Capitol wants to watch her be feisty and vicious, so maybe she'll just have to play pretend a bit. She hates being cast in a role she never was quite fit to play. She wishes Argentine had gone out with Visage, because then at least she'd have Talquin to spend the day with and not somebody she doesn't know if she's supposed to trust or not. She seems innocent enough though, or about as innocent as a trained child-murderer can be.
She's shocked by how harsh the sunlight is when she steps outside, her skin immediately warm from the radiation as she scans the boardwalk and all the booths and stalls, "So, we're hunting. How exactly do we do that?"
Argentine nearly laughs, "I've watched a bunch of my siblings go through the Games, and they sort of just walked around until they found somebody to kill and then they killed them."
"Siblings? Any of 'em win?" Alithiya already knows the answer's no since One hasn't had a victor in quite a bit, but it seems polite to ask.
"Nope," Argentine sighs. It's clearly a touchy topic, "My five older sisters died and I'm hoping I'll be the first one to make it out,"
Suddenly Alithiya feels quite lucky that she never had to deal with any siblings growing up, even if it used to be quite lonely not having anybody to keep her company, "How many siblings total?"
"Eleven of us," She shrugs, slightly frustrated since it's probably a question she gets lots, "Well, six now since five are dead, but originally there were eleven. My only sister left is two years younger than me, but all the boys are alive"
They walk by the stalls for another hour, still nobody in sight until Alithiya notices one of them shaking, "You think somebody's there?"
"Maybe?" Argentine smirks, and together they try to walk closer to the shaking booth. It's decorated with popcorn, but they're not nice decorations. They're quite tacky, theatrical even which is fitting since at the end of the day everything in this fucking arena is just for show.
Alithiya peers over the ledge and finds a boy huddled underneath. As soon as he notices her, he springs up and slaps her in the face, "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?"
Now's not the time to think. She draws her knife before she hears Argentine yell, "Duck!" which she does. One of her arrows fire's between the boy's eyes, and he screams instantly in pain, though his words are incomprehensible.
He falls over on his back and Alithiya's able to make out an eight on his shirt amidst the blood gushing over his cheeks and down his neck, "You all fucking suck! Panem's going to burn to the ground, and I'll be happy about it too."
She doesn't get what he's saying, but the Eight boy rambles on, "You really think you're something, huh? You really think you're so almighty because you're killing for a fucking legacy or whatever? Is that legacy really one you want to fight for if it involves killing. You're all a bunch of sycophantic cunts, you know that? I'm going to watch Panem go up in flames and you and your friends will be the first to burn, and when you do, I'm just going to laugh. Because you deserve to die, you deserve to see your own flesh rot and––"
Alithiya stabs him in the throat before he can continue, her hands now bloodied as a cannon sounds, "I just couldn't bear to hear it anymore."
Argentine rushes beside her, "I understand. He was… pretty intense, I guess."
As they return to the tent, Alithiya can't help but feel horrible about herself. Not because she killed him, no, with the way he was talking he sort of had it coming, but everything he said was so personal. There was a clear fiery rage in his eyes when he spoke of her legacy, asked her if it was really worth fighting for.
(She doesn't know… Atlantis sometimes talked like he did…)
Of course it is. She'd fight for Atlantis' legacy in any circumstance.
But when she arrives back to the others, all Alithiya can do is wrap her arms around Talquin and say, "I'm a horrible person, holy shit."
He disagrees, "You're not, and you never will be."
But that's not what the Eight boy said.
It's chaos on the third day. Not that Talquin was expecting things besides chaos in the arena, but compared to the second day's relative calm, the third day's a storm.
"What the ever-loving fuck is that?" Alithiya asks. It's probably the middle of the day (there's really no way of knowing) and he's out on a walk, her and the others by his side. She points at the thing, a tall and lanky figure with a widened face in the distance, "It's fucking ugly!"
Talquin grabs her, "Whatever it is, we're getting the fuck away from it."
They pivot back towards the direction of the tent but they hear footsteps. Talquin looks to the side and sees another shadowed figure, "I'd like to reiterate, we are getting away from this one too."
But when they go in a third direction, there's once again one of the figures blocking them, and it's getting closer. Alithiya squirms, "What the hell are we supposed to do now?"
"Just… stay calm," Argentine sighs, "There's three of them and four of us. We can take them."
"We don't know what the fuck they are!" Visage retracts his sword from his belt, dissatisfied with her response, "For all we know they could be magic or some shit like that."
"You believe in magic?" She quirks her brow.
Visage stammers, "We live in a place where children are sent to fucking kill eachother every year for the sake of a war that happened before we were born. I wouldn't be surprised if we had magic too."
Maybe it would've been better if these creatures were magic instead of what they actually are.
One by one, they step closer as the boardwalk begins to creak, and the figures make themselves more clear. Striped pants just like theirs, white shirts just like theirs, but with skin more pale and eyes more bright and hair all curly and blue. Their faces are coated in makeup like some sort of a Capitolite on way too many drugs, and their noses are topped with spheres of red.
And their eyebrows are pointed downwards whilst they raise the machetes in their hands.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Alithiya rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, "I though Marathon was the only clown in this arena."
Her voice is loud enough that it triggers them to move, lunging towards her and leaving Talquin to pull her out of the way, "Be quiet!"
But she doesn't listen, instead sticking her tongue out at the clowns and whining, "You're so stupid, you're just a clown!"
Once again, he's forced to pull her aside, "The whole point of being here is not dying. Please don't make my job more difficult than it already is."
Talquin turns his pelvis with his sword in hand, slashing at the neck of a clown but not strong enough that it does much damage, "Fucking hell!"
He turns around, gesturing for Alithiya to get up and help, which she does, making a slight impact at its neck. In the distance, there's the sound of a cannon. How many of these bitches are in here? He does a quick look around to ensure Argentine and Visage are still alive. But overall, there's no time to think, he has to save the two of them. He has to save Alithiya.
It digs its nails into his arm, pushing him over as he winces in pain. His second strike of the sword is even less impactful, merely colliding with the clown's cheek.
But lord knows he's not about to give up here.
His leg is strong enough that he can kick the clown in the shins and do enough damage to stall it, giving Talquin time to stand up once more. He's got no choice but to ignore the pain slowly travelling down his right arm, instead slashing down the side making a deep cut on the clown's stomach. It's weird how it doesn't bleed as Talquin continues to pierce through it's flesh with his sword, but maybe that's also why he feels more comfortable killing it. Because it's not human.
Once the clown's on the ground, Alithya stands on top of it, her legs by either side of its arms. She swiftly kicks it in the face before piercing it's throat with her knife, and Talquin's pretty sure that's the end of it.
Another cannon, so Talquin eyes the Ones, and while they're not dead, they sure as hell are struggling. Argentine's managed to get her clown out of the way fairly quickly, but Visage is having a less than optimal experience. Alithiya grabs the machete on the ground that their clown dropped and smiles, "I think it's about time my weaponry gets an upgrade."
The clown's crushing Visage's head, and his legs been separated from the rest of his body, rolling on the ground besides him and drenched in blood. Alithiya screams like a soldier on a battle field, "Let's fucking go!" as she runs behind the clown with her machete in hand, running into the clown and piercing through it's rib cage from behind.
It's defeated instantly, which obviously makes Alithiya smile, "See, I told you I'm a boss bitch."
Talquin sighs, "I saved your life less than five minutes ago because you kept sticking your tongue out at them."
She shrugs, "And what about it?"
With the clown out of the way, they rush over to Visage, still in pain. He's clutching the side of his face, his jaw bruised and bloodied as he screams, "Fuck this!"
It's a shame, because while the leg that is still attached to his body seems to be on its way out, covered in gashes and oozing with pus. Suddenly Talquin's scratches don't particularly bother him.
"Let's carry him back," He declares, grabbing onto Visage's arms and back, "Then we can access."
Argentine lids him from his pelvis as they run to their tent, moving quicker than they ever thought was possible. Visage's bleeding hasn't stopped, a trail of blood forming behind them and crimson droplets staining Argentine's hair.
As quick as they were, it wasn't quick enough.
They lay Visage on the ground and examine his left leg, in worse shape than it was before they lifted him. His muscles and nerves are peeking through his flesh, and towards his knee Talquin can make out a bone.
"We have to save him," Argentine grabs Alithiya's machete, "I'll amputate it if you two go get supplies to clean and dress his wounds."
Part of Talquin doesn't want to. If he just stays put, Visage will eventually bleed out and die and that'll be one less person for him to worry about hurting himself or Alithiya. He likes the guy enough, but ultimately Visage is an enemy, and there's no way in hell he'll survive with one leg soon to be none. Honestly, he could and should just bite the bullet and put him out of his misery.
"On it," Alithiya grabs onto Talquin, "Let's go dig through these backpacks and see what we find!"
They find gauze and antiseptic solutions, but he still has no desire to waste them on somebody who'll probably be dead in twenty-four hours or less anyways.
But duty calls, or whatever.
She leaves Argentine and Visage in the tent on the fourth day to go hunting with Talquin. Visage is in a fairly vulnerable state, as it turns out Argentine isn't as good at removing limbs as she claimed to be, so now she's stuck protecting him in case anybody tries to attack the tent.
In a morbid way, Alithiya thinks it's pretty stupid that Argentine's taking care of somebody who's probably dead sooner rather than later, but she doesn't say that out loud because she doesn't want to be a bitch, though mentally manifesting somebody's death is unfortunately quite bitchy.
They're not too sure what exactly they're looking for, though unfortunately for them the past nights' skies have confirmed Marathon Mirone is devastatingly alive.
"We should focus on getting rid of outliers before Marathon gets to them," Talquin suggests as they traverse the arena, "Besides us, Argentine, and Visage, I believe it's just the pair from Three, the boy from Twelve, Marathon, and the girl from Eight alive."
"I can't confirm or deny that, I'm fucking horrible at math," Alithiya admits and then laughs at herself, "That's eight people, right?"
He pouts, "No, that's nine."
"Like I said, I'm horrible at math," She continues to walk, a skip in her step even after all this fucking trauma, "You think the pair from Three are allies?"
"They seemed close in training," Talquin recalls, and Alithiya's then able to remember the two of them together in the Capitol on several occasions, "Mary's probably avoiding them for that reason. As dumb as he is, he's smart enough to know that two on one isn't great odds. That being said, they seemed weak enough that we could probably take them ourselves, even without Argentine."
She teases him, "And what about without Visage?"
He looks behind him to ensure he's fairly far from the tent, "Look, you didn't hear it from me, but there is no way in hell that boy will ever fight again or even live another day or two in here."
Okay, thank the lord he agrees with me. Alithiya laughs out loud and pats him on the back, "Thank you for saying that so I didn't have to. I can't believe we stayed up so late last night cleansing the wounds of somebody who's practically dead."
With a sigh of relief, Talquin says, "Yeah, I was fine letting him die to be completely honest with you. There's no way he doesn't get an infection considering Argentine sliced him up with a blade covered in clown guts."
Maybe they shouldn't have tried to help. Gosh, being a decent human being can be exhausting sometimes. If Atlantis were here, that guy would be dead by now, and maybe that's for the best.
They continue to walk, nearing the ferris wheel when they see a shadow of a man sitting at the top car with a devious grin. He asks, "Do you think?"
"It's Mary?" Alithiya finishes his sentence, "Oh, one hundred percent. Let's go kill him!"
She tries to run off but Talquin grabs her from behind, "Yeah there's no way in hell we're going now. We don't have all of our weapons with us and we should probably take Argentine with us so we have even more of an advantage."
Unfortunately, he makes a point because when does he not, "Fair. So we continue to find the Threes or the boy from Twelve?"
"Most definitely––" His words are cut off by the sound of a cannon, "Oh fuck, I think I know what that means."
They return to the tent, not very surprised to see Argentine crying over Visage's dead body, "I can't believe this!"
How can she not believe it? He was covered in clown guts less than a day ago and he doesn't have legs. But she's there for Argentine anyways when she sobs, "I know he wasn't much and he could be a bit annoying at times, but he was from home. You guys have each other, and well I had him."
Alithiya understands, but really her pain is nothing compared to what she'd personally feel if or when Talquin died. She's already lost Atlantis, and she's not sure she can take another heartbreak especially when without him there would be nobody left.
Another cannon sounds, and that alerts her to inform Argentine of their plans, "By the way, we found where Marathon is. Tomorrow's about to be his last day alive!"
Physically, Talquin feels prepared to take on Marathon with Argentine and Alithiya, but mentally, what the actual fuck is this guy on?
He doesn't need to be all that close to the ferris wheel to see what's going on in there. Bones, way too many bones to be normal, sitting in the carts and rocking side to side, at one point a cart tips over and a large calf bone falls out and onto the ground with a crack. And Mary just stares at it as he sits in the bottom cart, and he's laughing to himself.
On a cart to the left there's a girl strapped to the front, squirming for freedom but not so much as she knows it'll only lead to death. Talquin doesn't really understand why she's just hanging there like a puppet. If her purpose was to be Mary's living meat-shield, surely she'd be closer to him. But no, the poor girl with an eight on her shirt is left to hang and squirm.
Deep breaths, He reminds himself. It's kind of daunting, going somewhere in particular to kill somebody in specific, but this is Marathon. If anybody in here deserves to die, it's him. That's the mindset he has to have going into this, You literally can't stand this little bitch boy Talquin.
"You nervous?" Alithiya notices his breaths getting heavier, "Actually, that's a stupid question. We're walking towards a ferris wheel with a crazy white boy sitting on a pile of bones, obviously you're nervous."
"Yeah," He sighs, somehow more nervous than before with the way she's being so lighthearted about it, "You better not do something to get yourself killed out there, understand?"
"So you're the boss of me now?" Alithiya teases him, nearly hitting him in the back with one of the several knives strapped to her body, "Wait–– shit! Did I stab you?"
There's two swords strapped to Talquin's back. One belonged to Visage, which is just odd, killing somebody with an already dead man's sword, but again this whole thing is fucking weird, no need to be repetitive.
"You two ready?" Argentine asks as they tiptoe closer to the booth that's right in front of the ferris wheel.
"Fuck yeah!" Alithiya screams, and unfortunately it's loud enough that the girl hanging from the cart shakes, her shoes sounding against the metal which get's Mary's attention.
He crawls out of his personal cart like a sadistic chihuahua and looks up at Eight, "Quit making noise, bitch!" She's quiet after that, but Mary isn't done with his nonsense, "You know, I could always just cut the ropes and send you plummeting to your death. Do you want that?" She nods her head from side to side, "That's what I thought." He returns to his cart with his arms neatly folded behind his back.
Talquin whispers, "How has he only gotten worse than I remember?"
"No clue, let's just get this over with," Argentine grabs him and Alithiya and begins running towards the wheel.
It doesn't take long for Marathon to see them, scowling immediately as he sits on his wretched throne, "Who goes there?"
It's an obviously rhetorical question but Alithiya obviously doesn't see it as one, "Your worst fuckin' nightmare!"
Like a stereotypical film villain, Mary maniacally laughs as they get closer, "I think we all know that I'm the nightmare here."
And then he flicks a switch on the roof of his cart, and before anybody can do anything he's being spun to the top of the ferris wheel and the poor Eight girl's just puked all over herself.
Talquin can't stop Alithiya as she runs towards the wheel and grabs onto one of the railings, "What are you doing? Do you not remember the not getting yourself killed thing?"
"I'm going to climb it, obviously," She winks and then begins pulling herself up the structure.
Meanwhile, Argentine's trying (and failing) to shoot her arrows from the ground at Mary, and Talquin feels useless. Well, not completely useless since Alithiya keeps nearly falling as Mary presses buttons to shake the structure.
He knows what he has to do. He has to save her, and then if he kills Mary in the process, it's just icing on the cake.
With care, Talquin straddles the pole mounting the bottom cart to the wheel, pulling his weight upwards so he can hang onto the cart above him. It seems easier and less deadly than Alithiya's method of scaling it straight on.
He stretches his body to grab onto the higher cart and drapes his arms over and onto the entrance seat so he can just hurl himself onto the ground, and he's shockingly successful. The next cart he'd need to enter to get to the top is currently… occupied, so to speak.
The girl from Eight's ankles hang in front of him as she shakes back and forth, vomit dripping down her leg and on Talquin's shoe. Fucking hell, He wipes his foot on the side of the cart. It takes him a minute to realize that if he wants to get to the top of the wheel and stop Alithiya from killing herself he's going to have to do what the girl begged Mary not to do. He has to cut her off the cart.
He reaches for one of his swords and ponders the best way to go about this. There's a voice in his head telling him, You can't do this Talquin. Send her falling and you'll be just like Marathon. You'll be just like Atlantis, You'll be just like your father. You saw the way he hurt you and you'd be doing the same thing he did to you. You're leaving her to die the same way you did for Atlantis. You already didn't give a shit about Visage. Hell, you probably wanted to secretly kill him, you asshole. You're here for somebody who doesn't want you here. Quit trying to save people when you can hardly save yourself from the monster you're becoming.
"Stop it!" He yells at himself out loud, immediately red with embarrassment.
"And y'all say I'm crazy," He hears Mary in the distance, "This bitch is talking to himself!"
"Fuck you," Talquin screams, waving his arm. He hears a shriek and that's when he realizes he moved the hand holding a sword, and now he's stabbed her. He whispers, "I'm sorry."
"Sure you are," Eight scoffs, "You're the same as him. You're all the same. You're all fucking monsters."
It's enough to set him off. It's enough to make Talquin swing his sword again, outside the cart and onto her ribcage. He extends his arm a bit further, reaching her throat but he can't get close enough to deal real damage and go in for the kill.
He knows what he has to do.
He walks closer to the edge and looks up at her, blood dripping onto the ground and her eyes so full of fear as she screams. Talquin closes his eyes as his sword cuts through the rope attaching her arm on one side of the cart, Eight swinging to the side. He reaches for the rope behind her and severs it quickly.
"I'm so sorry," Talquin cries, "I promise I'm not like him."
He slashes through the third rope, and just like that Eight falls to the ground, her head hitting the concrete first and blood pooling out of her skull.
Talquin can't bear the sound of the cannon, and besides, he has more damage to deal now. This time, to somebody who deserves to suffer.
By the time he's reached the top, Mary has Alithiya pinned underneath him. Through gritted teeth, Talquin grunts at him, "You stay the fuck away from her."
"Or what?" Mary smirks, way too fucking full of himself per usual, "You could hardly kill her, who's to say you can kill me?" He gestures to the mess that was once the girl from Eight on the ground, "At least I'm neat when I kill. I promise I'll make you a pretty corpse Talquin, though it won't be as pretty as your sister––"
"Keep her name out of your mouth," Talquin screams, so loud Alithiya squirms as he attempts to hit Mary with his sword, only to be met by his own.
Mary repeats himself, "Or what?"
Talquin roars, his hand on Marathon's mouth, pushing his head back, "Just shut the fuck up, you fucking monster. You're a horrible excuse for a human being, I hope you know that. If I were your parents I'd be excited that you're about to die. Hell, I'd be throwing a party right about now if I were them. Your existence is proof your father should've pulled out eighteen years ago, you fucking ass. You degenerate monster. You creep." He realizes who he sounds like. He realizes he sounds like her, yet he continues, this time cutting the clearly taken aback boy with his sword, "I bet you thought you were so fucking cool when you killed all those people, didn't you? I bet you thought you were so cool when you stripped them to the bone, but you're not cool at all. You're fucking weird. You're so fucking weird."
He admires his handiwork, Marathon covered in blood and gore, his eye crooked in its socket as he tries to respond but Talquin just kicks him in the jaw, "I've had enough of your bullshit."
Alithiya gets up from underneath him, stars in her eyes as she whispers, "Finish him."
Talquin nods, lifting Mary over the ledge of the cart, "Enjoy the ride you little bitch! I hope it fucking hurts!"
A smile coalesces on his lips when Marathon's cannon fires. There's toxicity on his tongue and he sure can fucking taste it.
Once a Seasbane, always the same.
She wakes up with a feeling of existential dread swirling in her stomach. With just five people left, the end is near, and Alithiya's faced the time where she actually has to admit it.
Twenty-four hours from now, Alithiya's more unsure than ever whether or not she'll be dead or alive, though she knows Talquin will refuse to leave her rotten and six feet under.
They should talk about it, because when push comes to shove, Alithiya isn't sure she actually wants him to sacrifice himself for him. The longer she lasts inside the arena, the more she questions whether volunteered to save Atlantis' soul, or to just become a part of it.
"You think today's the end?" She asks Talquin, still shaking from yesterday's incident with Marathon. He was different then, and she liked watching him berate and delimb somebody who was about to kill her, yeah that was great, but at the same time she has no clue what compelled him to be so aggressive.
He was almost like Atlantis.
She's never been able to say that before. She's always thought the Seasbane twins to be different, two streets at the end of a crosswalk, yet now it's like their paths have merged into a singular road of entropy. But now he sits, legs tucked into his chest like nothing happened and he's the same light of sun that peaks through her stormy clouds on the regular, "I certainly hope not, because well that means it's––"
"Our last day," Alithiya finishes his sentence, unsure if she's supposed to be miserable or sentimental, "How do you feel about that?"
Talquin takes a moment to respond, "We've had a lot of fun together, you and I. There's been a lot of good. And I hope you remember me when all's said and done."
"How on Panem could I forget you?" She questions, then muses to herself, How on Panem could I forget you if I'm the person who's dying here. For a minute, she can hardly believe her own thoughts that are racing through my head, Wait! I don't want to die. Atlantis wanted to die and I'm not at all like her. I came here to live (you came here to die). I came here to live! But then why does dying seem all the more better, even if Talquin wasn't here.
Her thoughts are bullshit so she goes back to talking, "We'll be friends until the end, no matter when that is."
It's a shame the end is so near.
Their conversation is interrupted by Argentine's loud pacing, "Do you guys smell that?"
"Smell what?" Alithiya wafts the air, her nostrils immediately filled with the sickly scent of oil and burning, "Oh… yeah. I smell that. Where d'ya think it's coming from?"
Talquin answers her immediately, pointing at one of the walls where embers are beginning to flicker, "Grab your shit, let's go!"
She picks up as many knives as she can whilst he grabs his sword and Argentine her bow and some arrows before sprinting out of the tent. Alithiya notices flames behind them, slowly gaining fuel until their tent, their temporary home, is fully submerged in fury.
It's like the fire's chasing them, having no mercy as the wooden planks of the boardwalk turn into dust and ashes like they never existed at all. There's wind in her hair and she feels herself slipping on the ground yet at the same time, Alithiya's never felt more alive. If this is how she dies, consumed by an inferno of spite and hatred, at least she can say she had a life worthy of being lived.
As they near the center of the arena, back at the Cornucopia where this nightmare all began, the flames stop. Confused, she looks around and asks, "Well, what was the point of all that then?"
"To get us to them," Talquin points to the two figures running towards them, flames chasing them just the same, "It appears we've reached the endgame."
If this is the end, why aren't I more afraid? Alithiya wonders as the pair from Three reaches them, only armed with one knife to share. They seem easy, almost two easy. It's almost like they were purposely kept alive so that her, Talquin, and Argentine could be ripped apart at the end.
Her thoughts are interrupted when the Three boy tackles her to the ground, her back colluding with the ground and pain shocking against her spine. Just as quickly as it happens, she hears Talquin screaming, "Get the fuck off of her," once again filled with anger and rage as he stabs Three in the back. As he starts to bleed, Talquin scoffs, "Yeah, that's what I thought." He pulls him off Alithiya's body and throws him against the ground, a cannon firing before he extends his hand to lift her up, "Sorry about that."
"You're okay," She sighs, not really seeing why she should be upset. The Three girl approaches them next, and even though she has the knife, she's not much more of a threat. All it takes is Argentine piercing her throat with an arrow and Alithiya finishing the job for her cannon to fire.
Her feet are covered in blood and her arms with dirt, but she still feels satisfied. It's odd that she feels that way too, because she's just killed somebody. The longer she stays alive the more her morals bend and break and she questions who she'd even be if she won besides a shard of glass so perfectly shattered.
The longer she stays alive this, longer she stays alive that, and Alithiya still doesn't know if she wants to stay alive.
But she does know this, it's just the three of them now.
Argentine's eyes creep towards hers, but Alithiya's the one to talk, "So now what?"
Talquin's voice wavers, "Now we wait."
"For what?" Argentine asks.
And then, the scent of fire once more.
He rolls his eyes, Not this fire shit again. It's been done once before, c'mon Gamemakers, do something different this time.
Nevertheless, rising flames continue to do a swell job at getting people to fucking run as fast as they can, which is what Talquin does as soon as the smell of gasoline hits his nose. This time though, he doesn't wait to see if Argentine is following them, he just grabs hold of Alithiya's hand and sprints away. Well I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
There's just three of them left now, and good lord is it exhilarating. Talquin's not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way though, because as far as he's concerned, today's his last day alive. As soon as he gets rid of Argentine, which he will do, it'll be him and Alithiya and then he'll throw himself away.
His job will be done. Alithiya will go on to spread Atlantis' glory whilst helping those in her shoes get better, and he'll finally be free from the demons mounting in his head.
If she lets him, that is. Which Talquin doubts, because when has Alithiya ever valued herself more than she values him? He really did pick an angel to protect, didn't he?
More than he knows, he's going to miss her once he's gone. He's never really believed in the afterlife but the concept of feeling Atlantis' presence once more as they watch over and root for the girl they both loved so much in different ways is a soothing fantasy.
(He doesn't think about Daria, lighting candles over his grave as she sings herself to sleep in grief, and that's partly because he refuses to let himself. If he imagines it too hard, then maybe he'll realize what exactly he's losing when he dies. Maybe he'll realize he's losing a literal angel to pay homage to the devil, which is why Talquin doesn't think of her, as tempted as he is to imagine the feeling of joy she'd have when he runs back into her arms and lifts her into a kiss. That's not what his life is supposed to be. He's supposed to live as a martyr and die as a hero.)
To nobody's surprise, Argentine follows them, frantic and nervous as she shouts, "Wait for me!"
Talquin tries to imagine the thoughts in her head, how she's probably so afraid because she knows he and Alithiya are thick as thieves and there's no way they'd kill each other. She probably thinks that they're about to kill her, and Talquin hates that she's probably right.
He can't wait for her, and Alithiya knows that too, so she runs with him as the fire creeps towards them, ignoring Argentine's calls, "Slow down, please slow down!"
They can't slow down, not when so much is at stake. Not when everything they've ever fought for is at stake.
(Not when the worst possible ending is at stake.)
Again, the planks of the boardwalk teeter as his feet practically soar off of them, running so fast without even knowing where he's going. Running so fast with Alithiya beside him, running so fast because Argentine's always been quick and hell, what if she outruns them and pushes them both over the edge.
Talquin knows what he has to do.
"Alithiya turn around," She does as he says, Argentine stopping in her tracks out of confusion, "If we run too far down that boardwalk, she'll be able to push us 'till we drown. Trust me."
His knuckles are white against the handle of his sword as the flames continue to approach, calling his name and beckoning him. And good lord is Talquin Seasbane angry. With the same spirit that possessed him when he decimated Marathon, he feels the veins beginning to pop out of his head in rage.
He's not even sure what he's mad about. The situation he got himself into out of mindless chivalry? The fact the girl of his dreams is waiting at home for him and he might've lost her permanently? The way every passing day leads to him seeing more of his father in himself, grievous similarities adding up despite his desire to never be like that man as long as he is? Or maybe he's just mad that if he doesn't do what he's about to do, all his suffering, past, present, and future, will all be for nothing.
Talquin doesn't want to be forgotten. He doesn't want her to be forgotten, like debris on the shorefront that never meant anything to anyone. For Atlantis, he lives. For Atlantis, he dies. And for Atlantis, he has to kill.
At least this is my last time…
His rage comes to a head as he charges towards Argentine, the force of his sword piercing her stomach and splattering her blood on the ground beneath them. There's a certain sickness in her eyes, like she's accepted her death and really should've expected it too. She's not quite giving up, life still in her eyes when she screams, "You were so caught up in your own legacy, you never considered mine."
He hates himself for it, but it's what he has to do. He's sweating as he slashes against her throat. She gasps for air as she falls to the ground in horror, and he's just as afraid. There's a face reflecting on the crimson pool she's created as she bleeds out, and Talquin isn't sure if it's his own or his father's. He sees Atlantis too, hears her cheering, "I'm so proud of you!"
And he hates it. He hates it when he steps on Argentine's neck, her head drooping to the side as her bones crack. He hates it when her cannon fires and he knows it's because of him. He hates it when he kicks her towards the fire, ashamed of the mess he's made.
But as much as he hates it, Alithiya doesn't see a problem, "You did what you had to do."
Through tears, he mumbles, "I'm a horrible person."
She grabs onto his shoulders, "Good people never had a chance in hell at winning this thing."
Reality and fantasy are once again blurred as they run further down the dock, stopping only when the flames subside and he's left with only Alithiya's face in his view.
It's just them.
It's just them, just like Talquin always planned for it to be.
And now he's just supposed to kill himself, cast himself into the water beneath him like his entire life was worthless and she's just supposed to be okay with it.
Alithiya's supposed to be okay with it when she isn't sure if she could possibly live for herself when all is said and done. She isn't sure if she could ever live again.
So she walks to the edge of the pier, ready to be done with it all, but of course, Talquin stops her, "Where do you think you're going?"
She sighs. If Talquin wasn't here then this would've never happened. If he wasn't here then she'd just go on her merry little way and win and return to him and it would all be fine. But then again, she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. She would've been dead to the clowns, or to Marathon, or to the Threes, or the fire. She'd be dead without him, but now she's ready to be dead in spite of him.
He wanted to protect her, and he's done it enough that Alithiya doesn't get why he can't protect himself for once, "You win, Talquin."
"I win because you do," He stammers, voice still prideful despite how unruly their circumstances, "I'm thinking I just jump off, or do you think my sword––"
"Wait," She screams, and he listens to her, "You've done enough protecting me."
He doesn't agree though, "And I'll protect you for good in a second––"
"You're talking mighty confident considering you're the reason we're in this whole mess," Alithiya crosses her arms and walks closer to him, "You already broke lots of rules by coming here to be with me. Just let yourself break another rule and let me go. That's how you'd be protecting me."
Here's the truth. Alithiya Essetella came to the arena to die. She didn't know it at first, but now it's a fact. She's here not to live for Atlantis, but to join her in death where they can finally be happy. In a boat, sailing away from the shores of reality into an ocean of fantasy. In death she'll be free. In death, she'll be home.
"I can't do that," Talquin stomps his feet on the ground, "You've got so much to live for!"
"Like what?" She raises her eyebrow and squints, "You've got Daria. You've got a whole crowd of kids who fuckin' adore you back at the 'Kov. You've got a false reputation you'd finally be proving wrong, and what do I have? I have nothing Talquin. You can have everything."
"I don't want everything," He drops his sword to the ground and tries to run and jump, only stopped by Alithiya tugging at the back of his shirt, so bloodied and stained from the myriad of sin that cast over their friendship in the past six days, "I just want you to be alive, okay? I'm a monster Alithiya. I ruined this whole thing for you, and I fucking deserve to die because of it. So many people are dead because of me, just let me be one of them."
"And what will Daria think?" Talquin's face turns red when she mentions her, "What if she never finds love again and she's left sulking because her lover fucking killing himself. I'm never going to find love again, but she still has a chance to continue being in love with you."
It's a point he can't refute, and he knows it's true so Alithiya continues, "How is she going to love in spite of losing you? I can't love with Atlantis gone, do you really think she can without you."
For once, Talquin Seasbane is at a loss for words. He sits at the edge of the pier not speaking for two minutes until, "I don't think I can let you die when I already did for Atlantis. It was so clear she was hurting, all the signs were there yet I didn't do anything to help her. She just needed somebody to validate her and comfort her through her pain, and I was too much of a jackass to see it. I was too fucking ignorant to help her. And now I'm here, with you. When you said you were volunteering, I knew I had to do whatever it takes to make sure you're not dead the way she is. I knew that if I really wanted to honor her, I'd have to die in order to ensure you make her proud. I can't let you die the same way she did."
Here's the truth. Alithiya Essetella came to the arena to die. Even if she always knew it deep down inside, she tried to hide it because she was so afraid of dying alone, the way Atlantis did. So it's a blessing Talquin's here, truly it is. Because she's dying with her best friend, her platonic soulmate and not as lost as Atlantis was when she gave into her demons once and for all. She'll die with memories of her and Talquin living life to the fullest. She'll die on her own terms, the same way she lived.
"Or we could both just jump," He looks down at the waves crashing against the beam holding the pier, "I'll hold your hand and we'll do it together."
She considers it for a selfish moment. The two of them together, friends 'till the end. But she knows she can't let Talquin die the same way he can't let her die. She can't let him die after he did everything in his power to ensure she lived. She can't let him die when he's the only reason she even has the choice to make between life and death. She can't let him die when she already failed Atlantis so miserably, "Who's going to keep Atlantis' memory alive then? Wasn't that the whole point in all this?"
He has so much more to live for. She has nothing to live for, and her everything demands to be died for.
Alithiya's grown familiar with the scent of smoke, immediately standing up from the edge when it returns. She knows what's next, so the flames rising don't surprise her. She could just run into them now without saying a word and it would all be over. They'd both be free.
But she turns her head and sees Talquin trying to dive into the sea. She knows she can't let him.
"Talquin!" She screams, loud enough to distract him so that she can grab his sword off the ground, "Do you want this?"
"Why not?" He asks, confused when she walks towards him, "Thank you so much Alithiya, for everything."
"No, thank you." His words fall on deaf ears as she stands at the edge of the pier, her hands shaking as she positions the blade above her chest. Talquins runs towards her, but it's too late because the metal cuts into her flesh and sends her flying, backwards and off of the pier.
The last thing she sees is his crying eyes, glassy and blinking in misery, his mouth widening as she continues to fall.
Atlantis is in the sky watching over her, and a smile's creeping on her lips at the thought of being reunited with her lover once more, together in life and death like they always planned.
Daria's watching from home, unsure if she's supposed to be thrilled or distraught, but she's knows she'll be reunited now with her lover too,
Juno and Hezediah watch from a bar, drunk in confusion and awaiting their new drinking buddy, who Alithiya knows will fit right in.
All of Four is watching with wide eyes, the whole country is watching and they're cheering a name, but it's not hers.
She's okay with that.
Alithiya Essetella was born to nothing but the sound of waves crashing and the scent of sea salt and alcohol. When her back hits the water, she's finally home.
i can't save us
my atlantis, we fall
we've built this town on shaky ground
i can't save us
my atlantis, oh no
we've built it up to pull it down
[atlantis – seafret]
It's been a year since Atlantis died yet Talquin's heart still feels heavy in his chest.
He hasn't been to the beach where he found her in nearly a year, because it's never seemed right, especially not with Alithiya. He misses her every day, and the thought of her not beside him right now is enough to make him sick. It's all my fault, He thinks it to this day, in spite of what Alithiya said on the pier, I let her down the same way I let Atlantis down. Why am I still here if I'm the monster in this saga?
Talquin reminds himself, At least I was semi-successful in keeping her memory alive, because the beach he's on was renamed to "Atlantis Seasbane Memorial Oasis." The name was tacky and he wasn't there for the grand reopening but it's the thought that counts. Or at least he thinks it's the thought that counts even if Atlantis will always be more memorialized in his heart and in his mind than here at this beach where she went to die.
She died alone, and it's Talquin's fault. Alithiya died with him and it was still his fault, and now all he can do is hope they're happy together, wherever they are.
He can't say he's entirely happy, but at least he isn't alone.
Daria sits besides him, her fingers in his hair and nails against his scalp as she tries to calm him. Behind her is Celestino, rubbing his back with their palms. They're a new friend, or possibly partner too, they haven't quite decided yet since it's only been a month since they met, but their presence is certainly appreciated. As much as Talquin loves Daria, it's nice to be fresh on somebody's eyes, somebody who hasn't seen him in his worst and never knew how bad a monster he was.
Maybe someday he'll be happy, but lord knows today is not that day.
"I still blame myself, you know," He sighs, moving his head to Daria's lap. She lets her fingers trace over his chest whilst Celestino kneels down to get closer, "I know it's dumb, and that it's been so long without the two of them, but it's my fault. I think I pressured Alithiya into dying."
"Seriously?" Celestino rolls their eyes, a caustic look on their face that he's recently grown familiar with, "You can't pressure somebody into dying, Talquin. All you can do is ensure that they keep living."
"Well I didn't do that either," He mumbles, though he's caught off guard when Celestino places a kiss onto his lips. Talquin chuckles, "Quit distracting me!"
"Brooding isn't acceptable when you're in the company of your two lovers who care for you and appreciate you just the way you are," They retaliate, tugging at his arm, "You're not a bad person, I promise."
A moment passes before Daria speaks, "You prevented me from dying. I hope you know that."
He stares into her chocolate brown eyes, lost in them once again the way he always is. They're his home, even if he denies it at times, "I'm glad for that, at least."
But still, Talquin misses them. He misses Atlantis, and Alithiya too, because how fun would it be if it were the five of them on the beach, living instead of dying. Together forever, and forever again and more. At night, he dreams of them. He dreams of everyone together and whole, not of two corpses mentally marked with his name as the catalyst. He's yet to visit their graveyard, where their coffins rest side by side, and he doesn't think he ever will. At least not now.
"I miss them," He says, tears in his eyes again despite Daria's kisses trying to wipe them away, "The five of us would make quite the gang, you know? I'm sure we'd have fun together."
"Don't think about it," Daria soothes him, once again running her hands against his head, "It's just going to hurt you, and I don't want you hurt."
Talquin sighs, "Well I'm damaged goods now, can't you tell."
"And I'm falling for you anyways," Celestino says before he can continue, "So maybe the best things in life are broken."
As far as he's concerned, the best things in death are broken too. He stands up, "I think I just want some time to myself for now."
Daria obliges, grabbing Celestino's hand and walking towards the street, "We'll be here when you're ready."
Talquin isn't sure if he'll ever be ready to face life when his entire existence of late has been a centrifuge of death where he's the eye of the storm.
His toes dig in the sand as he gets closer to the ocean, seafoam brushing against his feet ever-so-lightly. It's hard to imagine that he'll never walk this road with Alithiya again, even if it's again, nearly been a year.
From the corner of his eye, he notices an object on the ground. He walks towards it and notices it's a bottle, wedged in the sand. Talquin inspects it, the green-tinted glass unable to hide a piece of paper neatly folded inside, so he pops off the cork lid because something tells him it's exactly what he thinks it is.
To whoever's reading this, not that I think anybody should be reading this,
I was born into this world like a perfect storm. My mind was always sick even if people tried to save me, even if my parents and their separation was somehow meant to protect me. I never had a chance, lord knows it was only a matter of time before I was sitting here, writing nonsense on a rock in hopes some of the words I string together actually make sense and whoever finds me gets an explanation for why I've decided to take my life. Not that I want anybody to find me, of course. If I could have it my way, I'd go up in flames the same way I made people feel at times, because above all else, I'm nothing but a monster.
The world is hurting because I let it hurt. My twin brother, who always had a heart when I couldn't, is hurting because I wouldn't listen to him when he was right all along. His girlfriend's in shambles because I told her lies to mask my own insecurities. I let her suffer when I was the one who always deserved to be in pain. And then there's of course my own lover, Alithiya. I never deserved her and the way she cared for me even when I acted the way I did. All I can hope now is she finds somebody better, somebody who treats her heart with more love than I ever could.
Because let's face it, everybody deserves better than me. I'm doing everybody a favor by killing myself, and I'm sure I'll be forgotten anyways, if not memorialized as an awful person. When I die, the world will finally be free, and at this point that's the only good deed I can do. Four doesn't deserve me representing them in the Games. They don't deserve somebody that everybody loathes, and even if I win by some means of nature, I was so naive to think that would ever end my pain. I'm covered in scars and gashes that not even the end of time could heal, so what's the point in preventing the inevitable. Whoever it is that volunteers in my place, I was probably horrible to them, and that's why I feel comfortable with them marching in glory over my grave.
I never should've been born, and I've for sure overstayed my welcome on this earth. My death will be a retribution to everybody I've hurt, and I'm content in it being that way. It's not like anybody will know this truth anyways. I'm keeping this note as a secret, putting it in a bottle never to be found. I'll probably write something else out if people are so desperate for an explanation as to why Four's perfect storm finally faltered.
I can't say I'll miss being alive, but I'll miss the good parts of my time with the people I loved, even if I was always bound to hurt them. Any apology will never suffice, so I'll let my body beg for forgiveness.
Never sweep me from the shores, I'll be your villain forevermore,
Atlantis
As soon as he's done reading, Talquin nearly loses his senses. Because while Atlantis isn't exactly blaming him, really what hurts is how much she's blaming herself, it's just more proof that he should've been able to stop her. It's just more proof that it was all his fault.
He doesn't remember the note he previously read. He'd taken it with him to the Games and thrown it at the water in rage after Alithiya died. At least now she has some part of Atlantis with her.
The waves grow more violent, and Talquin begins to wonder if they hurt when Atlantis walked through them, or when Alithiya fell onto them. He wonders if it would hurt the same if he followed in their footsteps.
Because let's face it. Talquin Seasbane deserves to die. He's got as much blame as Atlantis did, and if anybody's the monster, it will always be him. They have the same blood after all. Twins are always the same like that. It's so useless too, how he risked his own life for a legacy that was never meant to be maintained, and the two people he cared for like they were part of him are gone. Both gone, and he could've just prevented it.
Why didn't he prevent it?
His best wasn't good enough, for once. He's been taught that surviving life's tragedies is possible if he just tries his best, but his best is actually the worst. His best is the reason two people are dead.
There's no real reason for him to be alive anyway. Daria would probably be fine with just Celestino, even if she says that isn't true. Everybody would be fine without him. It's not a secret that the Seasbane twins were never meant to be born, so there's really no reason for them not to die.
He's ready to be with her. He's ready to be with them.
Yet as soon as his legs are submerged in the water, clouds begin to form and before he knows it, rain's dripping on his face. Lightning strikes a rock in the distance, and Talquin doesn't get it. It's the beginning of summer, not a time for rain. Because all rain is is misery. All Talquin Seasbane knows is misery.
But maybe it's a sign from his sister. Maybe it's a sign from his sister, and Alithiya too that today is not his time. Because Talquin's done so much work. He's done so much to keep them alive in spirit and if he dies now, it's all in vain. They all become nothing. If he dies, Celestino and Daria become shells of themselves, and nobody's left to pick up their pieces.
His misery wouldn't end, it would just be passed on to them.
He lets the waves crash once more against his toes before turning away, and as soon as he takes a step, the storms subside. It's got to be a sign. It's got to be a sign that he's destined to live another day, another and then many more.
Because Talquin Seasbane is an entropy, and he lives for Atlantis and Alithiya's memory.
FIN.
AN: Wow… If for some reason you've gotten to the end of this gigalith of a oneshot, all I can say is thank you so much for reading what I had to say because I sure said a lot of it! This was definitely a challenging piece to write, but I'm wickedly proud of myself for pushing through and actually finishing it. I wrote a way shorter one-shot of a single Games back in July, yet that didn't really prepare me for how gigantic this project became, not that I mind because Talquin and Alithiya are very near and dear to my heart. I'd love to hear what folks thought of the story, so if you want to talk about it you can always DM me or talk in the Discord channel or leave a comment if you feel so inclined.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading,
Linds