The month went by so incredibly slowly. One night, about a week after I got back from London, I gave Lauren a whole speech about how I was frustrated. Because I was a successful strong woman and now all I did was check days on an imaginary calendar in my head when I would get to see a guy. "It's not his fault." "No, I know that. I am angry at myself." "For liking someone? That seems counterproductive." "But why can't I think about anything else, this is so dumb." "No, it just happens sometimes, most people actually enjoy it." So I tried to get over myself, concentrated on work, visited my parents and my older sister who had a two-year-old, went to the dentist after I had neglected to make an appointment in over two years - simply anything to keep myself busy. At least my boss seemed to be pretty happy with me again after the whole spontaneous London trip. Views were higher than the month before and I started to make my preparations for the upcoming next wave of award shows. It wasn't like I had to attend every single one, but I had gotten into the swing of it and at least half were on my side of the country.

To be perfectly honest, the VMAs weren't the most important to me. Or the industry. But it was fun to watch and BTS collected a few prices, which seemed to make them so happy as if they had never gotten one before.

The afterparty, however, was usually really fun. Maybe because it was in New York and not LA, maybe because I usually bumped into people I knew and generally had a good time. Namjoon had texted me where I was but then I couldn't reach him. Finally, I had found them. Tae spotted me first and almost rehearsed he greeted me with a "You look beautiful… tonight." I thanked him and told him that he looked beautiful as well. They all did. Their suits weren't matching and still, together they looked like some sort of real-life fashion catalogue.

The afterparty was hosted by some guy I didn't know and his announcements were pretty annoying, and after a while, they stopped completely because apparently, the organizers had understood that this wasn't what people were here for. But the music was good. A mix of old and new hits, 80s, 90s, 2000s, today. Different styles, but all danceable and after my first glass of champagne I felt it. Maybe it was also simply that the boys were so effortless in their way of just falling into dancing. Yoongi and Jin maybe stood on the side of the dance floor most of the time, but even they joined us from time to time.

They never seemed to be awkward or turning around wondering what other people were thinking. Maybe because they were always in a group. After a while I almost forgot that there were other people - well really only almost, because otherwise I would have already fallen into Namjoons arms, but I was enjoying myself anyway, the mood was good, the alcohol free and the night young.

From time to time I would talk to Namjoon, but we tried to keep our distance at first, just to be sure. There were glances though. A lot of them. Finally, our eyes met and instead of looking away after a few seconds I just kept looking, so did he. Three people were dancing between us and still, we managed to keep eye contact. Suddenly, Namjoon nodded his head to the side and even though I didn't know where he was heading, I did understood that he meant that I should follow him. I saw him disappearing and waited a few moments, before making my way via a slightly different route through the crowd. He left the hall towards where the restrooms were, but instead of going in, simply followed a corridor. I pretended to check my phone in front of the bathrooms to not be too obvious, before following. I thought he must have taken the stairs when suddenly a hand grabbed for my arm from the entrance of another corridor crossing the one I was on. Giggling I stumbled into the semi-dark hallway, allowing him to lead me towards a wall. Smirking he lifted his hand to it next to my head, reminding me not only of that first date in New York, but also the stereotypical dominance move in every K-Drama ever, which made me chuckle.

"You laughing at me?" He said quietly, moving his head down towards mine, while one of my hands rested on the arm next to me. "Nooo…" I said, kept laughing, closing my eyes for a second because I was so happy to be finally close to him. I thought he would kiss me right away, but instead, he started with my cheek, then my ear and finally my neck. Where he stayed for a while and I couldn't help but sigh. One of my arms had wrapped around his broad shoulder without me even realizing. I opened my eyes again to check whether we were really alone, but just to be sure I pulled him a bit deeper into the dark corridor with me. "I missed you, baby." I heard him whisper against the skin of the crook of my neck and as soon as he had said that something exploded in my head. My hands pulled on the collar of his shirt so he would look at me again, just so that I could kiss him.

There was nothing shy about the kiss anymore, from neither side. Soon my body was pressed against his, while he pressed me against the wall. No room between us, his hands around my waist, mine in his hair. This was were I melted, forgetting when one kiss ended and when another began. His lips and his tongue tasted like alcohol, the smell of his cologne familiar and intoxicating.

"I missed you, too." I said while his lips were still on mine. He used the time to breathe, but it sounded more like panting, which in turn only made me want to be closer to him. Pretty sure I would have fallen down at some point, had he not been holding on to me tightly.

Suddenly there were steps and instinctively we both looked the other way. A couple making out wasn't really news at a party. I could hear his heavy breathing, I could hear mine as well and I felt a little dizzy. As soon as we were sure we were alone again I slung my arms around his neck and cuddled into his chest. Namjoon closed both of his arms around me, one of his hands absentmindedly playing with a strand of my hair. When we finally let go of each other I almost snorted while laughing. "Joon, oh my god…" He was covered in lipstick, really covered. I tried to rub some off of his upper lip, but he only shook his head. "Not yet…" he murmured, smiling widely as he came closer again, pulling me even deeper into the hallway. Moments later his hands were under my shirt, slowly moving over the skin on my lower back. "You look so…hot." I had kind of expected 'nice' or 'beautiful'. Our open mouths were hovering against each other. I don't think it particularly surprised me that he prefered the leather jacket and skinny jeans look over a formal dress, still, I couldn't help but enjoy the way he said it, his voice all raspy, as if he had been holding back telling me. "Me? Look at you…in those pants." I admitted. Namjoon chuckled. So we both didn't mind the leather. But before I could elaborate his lips were on mine again.

When we got back to the party half an hour later, the lipstick was gone. Namjoon had even helped me to make sure mine was fine as well because it had gotten everywhere on my face as well. We returned separately and at first, no one seemed to shoot us a second glance, but then I saw Jin moving his hand towards the back of Namjoons head to smooth down his hair, I felt a bit caught. Jin didn't say anything though. Yoongi, next to me, however, was the only one who snickered a little, leaned over and murmured "bad, bad girl" I moved my hand over my forehead while laughing. Yoongi was still grinning my way before walking over to Namjoon to completely mess up his hair once and for all. Joon didn't seem to mind.

The night was a blast. There was something to be celebrated after all and I also felt the pressure coming off my shoulders after a live broadcast. Having come here basically alone I made my way through the crowd several times, saying hi to acquaintances and maybe it was the alcohol or me just being on a high, but it seemed I wasn't the only one having a good time. I should have realized I maybe had a bit too much to drink when it seemed like I had disappeared for almost an hour and since my phone battery had long died, Namjoon started looking for me eventually. He found me outside under a pavilion, no jacket, trying to make up rules for a drinking game with Halsey of all people and her stylist. Hands deep in his pockets he watched from the sidelines for a little bit, then he walked over and was greeted by Halsey as if they were old friends. "Have you met Ollie?" she finally asked after a hug and Namjoon only nodded with a smile. "I have, in fact… can you keep a secret?" Halsey nodded, I felt like there were actual question marks forming in her eyes. "I have been looking for her because she left her jacket inside and she looks like she is about to freeze."

I hadn't even realized that I felt cold until Namjoon put his hand on my arm, which felt incredibly hot. Maybe it was colder than I had thought. He helped me into my jacket and Halsey stood there, her mouth parted slightly, wondering whether this meant what it looked like. The jacket was so nice and warm that it gave me chills and I couldn't help myself, moving my arms around Namjoons hip and burying my face in his chest for a second. "Thank you" My muffled voice was hardly audible, but it must have sounded pretty funny because a second later both of them were laughing. Namjoon looked around for a second, then rubbed my shoulder a little.

"So…this…" I heard her ask and Namjoon shrugged his shoulders. "I guess." "Brave. Or Crazy. Or Both." They both laughed, I let go of Joonie and moved my finger in front of my lips. "But you can't tell." I whispered. "Okay, I won't." she said, still smiling, also moving her finger in front of her lips. "Ollie, are you ready to head back inside?" "Yes! I want to dance!" "Oh my, I am in trouble."

It was the early morning hours when I stumbled out of a cab in front of my apartment. Looking for my keys I almost sat down on the sidewalk because I couldn't find them right away. Namjoon got out after me, paid the driver and then took the keys out of my hand once I had found them. When I got back up again I was dizzy and he sighed, for a second I thought he was really upset, but then I saw his face and he looked a mix of tired, but amused and well, drunk himself. We stood there and then he turned around and crouched down. "Hop on." he said and I was just too happy to do so. "You are lighter than you look" "Excuse meee? Well, you are stronger than you look." My head was on his shoulder when he stepped into the elevator. "Hey, look up." I suddenly heard him say, and when I did I saw our reflection in the mirror. Namjoon had somehow managed to get his phone from his pocket and was taking a picture of the two of us. I smiled into the camera, trying to ignore that my hair was a bit of a mess and simply leaned forward, kissing his cheek. He let me down and we somehow managed to get into my apartment and I tried my best to not wake Lauren, but Namjoon basically walked into my bedroom door because he hadn't properly opened it. Trying to keep our laughter down we walked into my room, quickly closing the door behind us. Finally, I took my shoes off, sighed and threw my purse and jacket to the side. "You are staying, right?" I wondered and turned around to Namjoon, who had already started taking off his shirt and nodded, mid-undress. I just stood there and started blinking when I saw his bare upper body. "What the hell… are you made of marble?" I stepped up to him and almost immediately my hands were on his chest and stomach. Namjoon was chuckling, not having expected to be basically inspected. I looked up to him for a second, then my hands moved to his upper arms and I sighed. "Are you done?" I sighed again. "For now, yes." He was still laughing when I flopped onto the bed. "Come on, at least take your pants off. And those earrings." "No. I want to sleep." The bed moved when he got on there and tried to figure out how to take my earrings off. "Don't you dare move, Ollie." It took a few moments, but then he figured it out without hurting me, next were pants. "You are such a sloppy drunk, I really didn't see that coming." he murmured when he finally took his own pants off and then crawled under the covers with me in only his boxers. "I've never seen anyone but Jimin lose complete body function." I laughed with my eyes closed and knew he was exaggerating, but there was some truth to it. I had definitely had too much. After a while I opened my eyes again, looking at his face on the other pillow. He was smiling at me. "You are not mad?" "No, don't worry." Happy I moved over to him and his arms welcomed me, pulling me close to him, my cheek on his chest. And as nice as this was, as much as I should have enjoyed it, seconds later I was asleep. There seemed to be a repeating pattern here. Waiting and sleeping. Sleeping was more fun than waiting.