This chapter is really, really long. Sorry.
Exactly one translation.
A Recounting
To say my arrival caused an uproar in the College of Enchanters would do a disservice to Fiona's influence over her people. It caused several flurries, certainly - of activity, of interest, of concern - but none ever had the chance to escalate into an uproar. When Fiona descended to find me calmly standing in her main hall, she joined me with evident - but not excessive - relief. "Inquisitor," she said, pitching her voice just loud enough to carry across the space to those nearest - all of whom were listening with avid interest, "I am so pleased you have returned from your mission unharmed."
"I am so sorry about Gils," I said at the same volume. "I saw to his body as well as I could, but I wanted to tell you personally of his heroism. It is no exaggeration to say that he saved my life."
"Thank you, Your Worship. Your words will be a comfort to all of those who knew him." Her voice was even, and she gave me a tiny nod, indicating it was the right thing to say, but the tightness around her eyes and mouth told me that she was among those who had known him - and that she would have questions. "We had best retire to discuss the information you retrieved - and to notify the Divine."
Ah. So Leliana had been informed I was missing somewhere in the Fade. Too much to hope, probably, that they would have held off on sending that information.
"Fiona," I said much more quietly, bending my head toward her as we ascended the stairs, probably making for her sitting room or mine, "do I correctly recall that the College possesses a sending crystal?"
"You do. It can be attuned to any of several sites that formerly housed Circles," she said.
"Including the White Spire?" I asked.
"Yes," she agreed.
"Good," I said with a nod. "We will need to send for both the Divine and Vivienne. I also have a sending crystal for Dorian. Is there any way we could bring him into the conversation?"
"Multiple attunement is complicated, but possible," she answered. "I will work on it personally while we await the arrival of our friends in Val Royeaux. You have something of consequence to relay, I take it?"
I snorted. "You have no idea. Solas always did tell me too much." I took a breath, mentally adding a string around my little package of grief, ensuring it would stay folded up and put away. "And, Fiona," I added, "I truly am sorry about Gils. It was my fault. I - I made an error, and he paid the price."
She hesitated a moment as she led me through the halls. "His funeral pyre is still being prepared. It would honor him, if you were to light it."
"Gladly," I agreed instantly. I doubted whether Gils would have been honored to have me light his pyre - especially once he knew I wasn't at all Andrastian - but if it honored him in the eyes of the rest of the world, that was sufficient reason to go through with it.
Fiona had apparently altered our destination after I asked about the sending crystal, and she led me down several flights of increasingly narrow stairs until we emerged into a rather cramped basement room boasting only one heavy door, etched with lyrium for good measure, and absolutely no windows. It contained a few uncomfortable-looking chairs, and one small table topped with a rune-encrusted box. "There is little point in such a method of communication if one cannot ensure privacy," Fiona explained. She touched a place on the wall just outside the door, and a minute or two later we were joined by a harried-looking apprentice. "Ah, Hubert, my apologies," Fiona said, not elaborating on what she was apologizing for. "Send a servant to bring Lady Harding. We will no doubt have need of her."
She glanced at me and I nodded my approval.
I watched as she went to the box on the table and touched a careful sequence of runes, which my memory, trained these last years under Leliana, took care to note, even though I doubted it could be opened without magic. Inside the box was the sending crystal, much larger than the one Dorian had given me - perhaps the size of my fist as opposed to the tip of one of my fingers. Fiona cast a brief spell, and then let me instruct the person on the other end to send messages to both the Divine and Madame de Fer. Vivienne, in particular, was less likely to ignore my summons than Fiona's.
Once the message had been sent, I activated Dorian's crystal and was surprised when he not only answered, but did so almost immediately. "Silea." He sounded breathless.
"You heard that I was gone, then," I replied as Fiona politely excused herself.
"I was on the point of coming clean to Varric, so that he could send the message on to Leliana and I could begin bracing my home - and my staff - for the assassins she would most likely send for me," he said, his usually-amused tones flattened by what I interpreted as profound relief.
"Well, I'm glad I only negotiated a day, then, even if I was detained a few hours extra," I told him. "I would have been very upset to learn the Divine had sent assassins after my dearest friend - and I imagine Leliana would have repented of it, too. Possibly even before she managed to have you killed."
Dorian's laugh was strangled. "You saw him then."
"I did - but I'm not contacting you for a personal recounting. I learned things, and I would rather not go through all of them multiple times," I explained. "In a little while, Vivienne and Leliana should be contacting me through the sending crystal housed in the White Spire. Could you get away long enough to join us? Fiona believes she can use my crystal to multiple-something-or-other the one here."
He hesitated and I waited more or less patiently. "Just how important is this information?" he asked at length.
"Potentially world-changing," I assured him. "Or at least - potentially world-saving in the event of a world-changing development."
"Now you're speaking in riddles, and you know I can't resist a good riddle," he complained.
"I do. Now hurry up and tell me you'll be free sometime within the next hour," I prodded.
"I - can make time within the next hour," he told me dutifully, sounding as though it pained him.
"Ma serannas, Dorian. I'll have Fiona contact you when everything is prepared," I said.
"Very well." His voice softened with real affection: "And Silea - thank you for coming back."
"There were moments, once or twice, when it was a nearer thing than I care to admit, but I still have duties to fulfill. And apparently," I added more quietly, "I still care enough about the world outside of Solas to fulfill them. Though it helped that he was extremely reluctant to let me die beside him."
"Well - I'm glad he isn't entirely lost to reason," Dorian replied gently.
"Yet," I agreed. Beyond the door - which Fiona had left ajar - I heard Harding. "I will speak to you again shortly," I said more briskly.
"I will be ready," he replied, and severed the connection.
"Dorian will join us," I called out to Fiona and Harding.
They entered the room, Harding pushing a loaded tea cart. "We weren't sure you had eaten," she explained, "and I thought this might take a while."
"It has been a few hours since I last ate," I admitted, turning my sending crystal over to Fiona so she could work whatever magic was necessary to allow Dorian to listen in. Harding promptly handed me a plate before taking one for herself.
"If you haven't tried these breaded meatballs they make," she said, indicating a platter, "do it. They are delicious - especially with the mustard."
I wasn't particularly hungry, but I ate a little bit to keep Harding happy as we waited for the White Spire to contact us. There was, after all, a reasonably good chance Leliana would check in with her about it - especially once she learned I had been with Solas. And Harding was right - the meatballs were very good.
It wasn't long before the White Spire contacted us - Fiona, in fact, had only just finished with my sending crystal and accepted Harding's offer of a plate when the larger stone flashed, indicating someone wanted our attention. I was nearest, so I touched it to open the magical conduit between our locations. "The Divine and Madame de Fer are on their way up now," a breathless voice told us.
"Prompt," Fiona said approvingly.
"How do I bring Dorian in?" I asked.
"Activate your own crystal to trigger the resonance," Fiona instructed.
Within moments, we were all connected, Leliana exchanging brief greetings with Fiona and Dorian on behalf of both herself and Vivienne - which was wise on her part as Vivienne no doubt would have slipped in a few barbs that might have distracted from our current purpose. "Silea," she said then, her voice hardening as she turned her attention to me.
"I know," I replied. "And I can't even apologize, because I am not sorry in the least. What I did was necessary both personally and strategically - and if it didn't accomplish all I secretly hoped, what I learned may ensure that, no matter what happens, human civilization will continue to exist."
"Well," my friend and former spymaster sighed, "I suppose we did not raise you to Inquisitor on the strength of your obedience. Perhaps I should be grateful to have had your compliance in all I have asked of you since you became my Right Hand."
"No," I said. "You owe me no gratitude. Our goals align - but in this instance, I knew you would over-value me. I am useful, Leliana, but I am not essential."
She was silent for a moment. "Perhaps a disagreement best argued at another time."
"Likely, yes," I allowed. "Do you want me to begin from the beginning, or from what is most important?"
"The beginning, my dear," Vivienne recommended. "Time has a way of organizing information more comprehensibly, don't you think?"
"Agreed," Leliana said. "Besides, I want to understand how all of this happened at least as much as what you learned."
"Very well." I took a breath and began with Latha - what I knew of its creation, the months it spent haunting me, its corruption, and my decision to make use of it, if I could.
Vivienne, predictably, disapproved. "You were playing with fire," she told me.
"I wasn't," I replied, a little more sharply than intended, perhaps. "Playing implies I didn't understand how dangerous my actions were. I was attempting to harness fire - an incredibly dangerous, out-of-control fire - for my own ends." I closed my eyes. "And I did succeed - but Gils sacrificed his life for that success. What I didn't anticipate was Latha's ability to draw me into my own mind for brief periods, even if it couldn't hold me there or bend me to its will. It found enough purchase in my memories and feelings to entangle me, though it couldn't use them to bind me. Perhaps if Gils had returned with the others, I would have come up with a way to deceive it long enough for Solas to arrive and save me - but since I didn't know he would come in the first place, it's hardly likely. Gils saved my life. Ir abelas."
"He did his duty," Fiona said quietly, "precisely as requested. I only hope the sacrifice was worthwhile."
"As do I," I agreed. After a brief, uncomfortably silence, I went on, describing the form Solas still optimistically claimed was a dragon, noting how it agreed with descriptions Charter had sent from her own contacts. I left out weeping into its fur, though I admitted to them that I recognized Solas instinctively, before I even had time to consider Charter's reports.
"And how can you be certain this was not some new sort of demon, tricking you?" Vivienne asked. "Charter never saw it for herself - perhaps Solas has merely harnessed one as Corypheus once sought to do."
"Shapeshifting magic is not unknown among the Dalish," I told her, "and I know from the Well of Sorrows that Mythal and the rest of the Evanuris took the form of dragons at will. It was, in fact, the only form forbidden to shape-changers outside of the Evanuris, and the penalty for assuming it was death. The Dalish considered Fen'Harel one of the Evanuris, but also a little apart from them. It seems predictable to me that he would have a form with a power and majesty similar to the rest of them, and yet distinct, as well. Besides," I added, "Solas doesn't consort with demons. The spirits under his banner avoided Latha - they would not offer him their service if he kept demons."
"Specious," Vivienne scoffed. "He is offering them the world. What is putting up with a few demons compared to that? And besides, this distinction between spirit and demon is all but meaningless anyway. Though I do concede your point about the shape-changing, as you would know more than I in that area."
"No," I persisted, "the distinction between a spirit and a demon is fundamental. A spirit does not reason as you or I would. Corruption, for them, is - is akin to being poisoned by the Blight for us: not only deadly, but a subversion of any strengths and virtues we possess. Spirits do not consort with demons for precisely the same reason we destroy anything infected by the Blight: corruption spreads."
"Enough," Leliana said before Vivienne could go on arguing. "Silea has already presented sufficient evidence that Solas was himself, and not something else masquerading as him. The nature of spirits and demons is immaterial to this conversation."
"Anyway," Dorian put in, "she is here. Had Solas been a demon, he would have tried to possess her as Latha did, and she would either have realized what it was, or fallen under its sway. And before you concoct an elaborate scheme on behalf of this made-up demon, Vivienne, remember that demons do not have an intellect as far-reaching as yours or mine, most have difficulty thinking sequentially, and they want different things than we do. To trick Silea, the demon would have had to be primarily desire - and desire demons are not intelligent or creative enough to fool all of us into believing it is Silea actually speaking to us now."
"Thank you, Dorian," Leliana said after a brief pause. "Those are all good points. Now if we might allow our Inquisitor to continue…?"
The next part was somewhat fraught - I left out the precise means by which I had convinced Solas to let me stay. None of them would approve of either my feelings or the way I had made use of them, so instead I glossed over it by saying I traded him a small favor he owed me for a single day with him. Nor was the following section much easier. "We argued fruitlessly about a few things after that," I told them, "before getting a little bit, um, distracted."
"With each other, I suppose," Dorian said, his voice amused.
"Dorian," I said sweetly, "do you really want me to retaliate?"
"By all means," he replied smugly. "I doubt anything you could offer would rival Sera's at once utterly crass and surprisingly astute musings on the details of my affair with Bull. I lived through the agony of hearing those, so I suppose it likely that I will survive your retaliation."
"So now you are generously paying Sera back by tormenting me," I said.
"I just wish she could be here to appreciate my generosity," he sighed.
"Dorian," Leliana said, "this is a little off topic." It was a mild rebuke, but I could hear the laughter in her voice and knew she was enjoying my embarrassment.
"Fine," I growled, glad that only Fiona and Harding could actually see me blushing. I could see Harding grinning out of the corner of my eye, and didn't dare risk a glance at Fiona. "Yes. Solas is my bondmate and we haven't seen each other in years. Of course we were distracted by each other."
"Did you manage to make it to a bed?" Dorian asked. "Or was everything too...urgent for that?"
"It's the Fade," I reminded him. "Beds - or anything else - can be anywhere you want them to be."
"Well that takes some of the fun out of it," he complained.
"Actually," I replied, "articles of clothing - among other things - that appear and disappear at will were very convenient."
"Now we're getting somewhere. Do say more," he urged.
"Enough," Leliana laughed. "Truly, we must consider more important matters, at least for now. Silea is hardly going to lose the capacity to blush between now and your next opportunity to accost her."
"You can't hear me blushing," I protested.
"I most certainly can," Leliana retorted. "You and Solas had a passionate reunion, which many of us will have questions about later. What next?"
"I fell asleep," I answered.
"You can sleep in the Fade?" Leliana asked. "But then where do you go to dream?"
"Deeper into the Fade, I should imagine," Vivienne answered for me.
"I wonder what would happen to a dwarf in the Fade," Harding mused.
"Given its dangers, I wouldn't advise attempting the experiment, my dear," Vivienne replied.
I sighed, remembering Innovation. "I wish I could take Dagna with me into the Fade. I met a spirit of Innovation as I slept. It actually studies dwarves. They would have adored each other, I'm certain."
"As much as Dagna would probably enjoy that...do you really think the Fade needs more explosions?" Harding asked.
"More to the point," Dorian said before anyone could answer her question, "what interest could a spirit possibly find in dwarves?"
"They are innovative," I pointed out. "According to Innovation, it developed its personality specifically to supersede the need most spirits have for emotional sustenance. It wanted to invest itself in moments of creation, not in the emotions surrounding moments of creation."
"Fascinating," Dorian commented.
"You have no idea," I told him. "We talked about...Caridin. Golems. Calculus equations. Lyrium lenses. Did you know dwarves used to make magical lenses from lyrium? Innovation said that they were able to make the song of the Stone audible - or something like audible - to mage-senses. It has voices."
"That is either incredible...or just incredibly creepy," Harding said.
"Lyrium lenses," Dorian repeated.
"Like a magnifying lens, Innovation said," I told him. "To filter out the magical noise, and focus on one specific thing."
"I don't suppose it showed you one?" he asked.
"It did, but it told me there was a lot of spellwork around it that I couldn't see - since I'm not a mage," I explained. "The physical basis involved vaporizing raw lyrium - gently - inside a hollow tube of something magically resonant. But after that it's down to the way spells wrapped around it, and I couldn't see any of that."
"A pity," Dorian said, sounding somewhere between frustrated and thoughtful. "I will have to follow up on it myself, then - I suppose at least I know part of what I am looking for."
Vivienne made a derisive sound. "I know," I said in response, "and I fear you will like the next part even less. Innovation and I had a nice long chat about why it follows Fen'Harel. As it turns out, it is an ancient spirit which arose before the Veil was ever formed, and it gave me this piece of information: Solas didn't come up with the idea for a barrier between the Fade and the waking world. Those already existed and were used for various things - to create prisons, safeguard secrets, protect estates from spirits not engaged by the owner, and even to give mages a place to retreat, rest, and meditate. Solas merely expanded the idea to encompass the entire world."
Everyone was silent for a moment. "Darling, you can't possibly believe that," Vivienne drawled at last, her voice at its most contemptuous.
"Why not?" Dorian asked slowly. "It makes perfect sense to me. If the Fade is everywhere, that means spirits are everywhere. The keeping of secrets alone seems to demand the kind of magic Silea and this innovation spirit describe. And what better way to imprison a mage than behind a wall which largely cuts him off from his magic?"
"Entirely cuts him off, if necessary," I corrected. "Just like walls we build, these barriers were built to fall within some range of security. At their most secure, they made anyone housed inside Tranquil. At their least, they might only block very weak spirits from passing."
"Naturally," Dorian said, taking this in stride. "That is perfectly sensible."
"How were these barriers maintained?" Fiona asked.
"One side was connected directly to the Fade," I reminded her. "As is the Veil. The ancient Elvhen had many wonders that relied on the presence of the Fade for existence. The touch of the Fade could sustain pieces of magic indefinitely, so they were as solid as - as any structure we might build."
"That is all very well," Leliana said, "but I don't see how this information helps us now."
"We must learn how to work this magic, the barrier magic in particular," I told them all, my voice low and fervent. "Think: if we know how to set a spell like that, how to tie it to the Fade, we have insurance against Solas dropping the Veil. Human population centers might be protected from that initial, devastating rush of the Fade, like erecting a seawall against the waves and tide."
"But if such magic relies on the presence of the Fade…" Fiona said.
"I know," I said. "But if you can set spells with triggers, why not have one there, just waiting for the touch of the Fade to spring to life?"
"It should - theoretically - be possible…" Dorian said. "But to test it...we would have to work - "
"Within the Fade," Fiona finished for him, her voice flat.
"This is madness," Vivienne interjected. "You cannot be considering this. Working in the Fade? Are you hearing this? The Inquisitor was tricked by a demon answering to Fen'Harel, trying to lure you into the Fade just as that desire demon did to her. In fact, I think this proves that my suspicions were fully justified. Is this truly the Inquisitor we know?"
"Bringing others along with her into the Fade? Seems like the Silea I know," Dorian said, his lazily amused tone covering a bitingly sarcastic undercurrent.
"Silea," Leliana said carefully, "if I wished to model the orbit of a planet, its position would be a function of what?"
"Time," I sighed. "And the derivative of the function would give you its average speed. The derivative of that result gives its average acceleration."
"This certainly sounds like the Inquisitor I know," Leliana concluded, her tone the vocal equivalent of a shrug.
"Yeah…" Harding put in. "Sorry, Enchanter, but - before this Latha demon ever had access to her, Silea had no qualms diving right into a Fade rift to get at the nest of spider-based mage-construct. My people told me all about it. She's much less put off by the Fade than the rest of us."
"She's becoming downright Solas-like in that respect," Dorian agreed, "and has been for quite some time."
"All right, have we all agreed to dismiss Vivienne's suggestion that I am possessed?" I asked them impatiently.
"I believe we can move past it," Leliana answered for everyone.
"The point still stands - " Vivienne began.
"Vivienne," I interrupted gently, "you know how much I respect you. Your political acumen is - unrivalled, or nearly so. And the things you can do with magic are a wonder to behold. But when it comes to the Fade, and spirits, I trust Solas. He knew more about them than any of us could ever hope to know long before - before our nations were even born."
"My dear, your love blinds you," she replied in the same tone.
"No," I sighed. "I wish it did. I would have found a way to stay with him, if that were true. Solas is a terrible liar, and he always tells me too much. We wouldn't even be here were that not the case."
"His lying seems effective enough to me," she sniffed. "You certainly never imagined he might be Fen'Harel."
"None of us did," Leliana said before I could. "He was a mystery, yes, and some of us were suspicious - including you, Vivienne. But why would we imagine him a lost elven god? No - his lies of omission are effective enough, but Silea is right. His actual lies are transparent at best. He has no concept of the art of deception."
"And, for what it is worth," Dorian added grudgingly, "everything he has ever said about spirits and demons dovetails with what I know from my own discipline. Solas was always too passionate about the subject to lie about it effectively."
"That's another thing about him," I added. "He can't hide how he feels about anything. It always ends up getting the better of him."
"Case in point," Harding said wryly, "who believed he ended things with the Inquisitor because he didn't care for her?"
Everyone was silent, and I felt myself blushing again.
"I believe she was the only one," Leliana observed archly, "at least for a time. Until she began noticing all those longing looks he was entirely incapable of hiding from the rest of us."
"Vivienne has a point, though, does she not?" Fiona said. "Not about Fen'Harel or the Inquisitor, perhaps, but to enter the Fade physically? When we know it to be Fen'Harel's own realm? The danger involved is - incalculable."
"Yes, precisely," Vivienne agreed. "I am glad not everyone is lost to reason."
"And the danger, should he succeed in lowering the Veil while we have no means of protecting ourselves or anyone else?" I retorted.
"Also incalculable," Dorian sighed. "I, at least, will begin having some quiet words with my allies to find out if anyone has ideas for how we might do this - not safely, it will never be that - but perhaps we might make it look less like suicide."
"Fiona may be able to help with that - perhaps," I told him.
"Me?" Fiona asked.
"It's - complicated," I told her. "Allow me to go on, since we are being chronological about this."
"By all means," Leliana agreed.
"After I awoke, I could see that Solas was preoccupied with something," I told them, and then mentioned breakfast so Leliana wouldn't worry as much, bypassed the most embarrassing parts of the conversation following breakfast, and instead went on to the inor'alas'enaan and Solas's belief that it would provide a safe haven from the chaos to come.
"These were the Crossroads Morrigan mentioned - the place between eluvians that you went while you were hunting Qunari?" Leliana confirmed.
"Yes. Solas mentioned something, though - that humans fare poorly within the inor'alas'enaan," I said. "but I don't know what he meant. Vivienne, Dorian - both of you went with me at least once, and neither of you said anything."
Both of them were silent for a moment. "Well," Vivienne said at last, "there were more important matters to consider, my dear, and what is a headache, really, compared to the threat of a Qunari invasion?"
"Precisely," Dorian agreed quickly. "Whom do you take us for - Varric? Some of us don't feel the need to sustain ourselves with a continual stream of complaints about everything within view. Besides," he added, "I thought perhaps it had to do with being a mage, and I didn't want to risk you deciding to leave your mages behind just to spare us migraines."
"So you did find it painful?" I pressed.
"To be perfectly candid, yes," Dorian answered. "And, speaking personally, I might prefer to take my chances in the raw chaos of the fallen Veil than have to spend so much as another hour within the Crossroads."
"That is, perhaps, overly dramatic," Vivienne said. "I could manage a day, I'm sure. Maybe a full week."
"Liar," Dorian snorted.
I sighed. "Well, that effectively sinks whatever still remained of that plan. I thought perhaps we might save a few people, if I could persuade him to give me an eluvian and a section of the inor'alas'enaan to house them. Since you mentioned Varric, though - do you think it's telling that he didn't complain of the symptoms you experienced?"
"Yes," Dorian said. "Bull and I talked about this. I found the Crossroads far too bright-"
"And the light was dancing through a series of colors," Vivienne added.
"Exactly," he agreed. "Twisting, somehow."
"Completely nauseating," she sighed.
"For Bull and Varric, it was different," Dorian said. "They thought it dim, utterly devoid of color, and dreary, with everything apparently dead and dried up."
"And I take it, my dear, that you had an entirely different experience from all the rest of us?" Vivienne asked me.
"There was no discomfort," I said, "though I did see rainbows shimmering in the air. It was - quite lovely, really."
"What about practicing magic?" Fiona asked. "Was it more difficult, with your focus stolen?"
"We didn't actually fight within the Crossroads," Dorian said.
"A good thing, too," Vivienne added.
"What is it you are thinking?" I asked Fiona.
"If the inor'alas'enaan are unaffected by the Veil, it may be that they exist in a state nearer that of the pre-Veil world," she explained. "Perhaps if we could find a way there to conduct these experiments…"
"Solas controls the labyrinth," I reminded her.
"The whole of it?" she asked. "Has he accounted for every last eluvian?"
"I can't swear to it," I answered, "but I don't imagine it would be easy to find one, and activating it would likely pose a problem. There also wouldn't be a way to know beforehand exactly where it went."
"And are these difficulties worse than finding our way into and operating within the Fade?" she pressed me.
"No," Vivienne said with finality as I hesitated, turning it over. "If you insist on taking the word of a demon, this sounds like a much more sensible way of doing it," she added.
"It doesn't sound worse," I agreed, "but it does sound less certain, with more delays involved."
"Why not pursue both possibilities?" Leliana asked. "Begin considering ways to work within the Fade, and allow me to use the resources at my disposal to seek eluvians Solas might not yet have laid his hands on."
"I think that is a good suggestion," I said. "I'm sorry - I'm not as enamored with the Fade as Dorian implies. I know Solas showed me some of the best of it, without all the dangers that one must usually contend with, because he is powerful enough to eliminate those dangers. I am merely very, very frightened of what is likely to occur if he succeeds and we have no alternatives or failsafes in place. Anything that causes delays in their development makes the waiting feel utterly unbearable."
"And yet you are an elf, my dear, and likely to weather the storm better than most of the rest of us," Vivienne said.
"I am an elf who has left behind my clan," I reminded her, "and formed a new sort of family composed mostly of humans. You are some of my dearest friends, and I will not sacrifice you to the Void without a struggle."
"We know," Leliana assured me. "What is next?"
"Since Solas would not open the inor'alas'enaan to human refugees in exchange for keeping me as a captive, I instead tried to trade myself for - anything that might blunt the effects of the Veil falling," I told them. "He admitted that it might be possible to thin it slowly, but - he would not even consider that route, as it would leave elves aging and dying in the meantime, and he feared humans would start a war, or perhaps more accurately a purge, in order to prevent a resurgence of elven dominance."
"Well…" Leliana sighed, "he isn't wrong."
"Yes," Vivienne agreed heavily.
"I am only surprised the Tevinter Imperium hasn't already started, as the magisters presumably know much of what Solas plans," Fiona said.
"That might be feasible if the Imperium were less reliant on slave labor," Dorian replied, "but for now the magisters will bide their time, retaining elven slaves as walking vessels of magic, believing they can slaughter them for the power they hold before the moment of crisis arrives and thereby save themselves in some way. In truth, I am more concerned about your alienages, should word of Solas's plans begin reaching into the lower echelons of society."
We were all silent for a moment.
"Silea is right," Leliana said at last. "We need a failsafe we can direct attention to - as soon as possible. Not merely because we cannot know how advanced Solas's plans are, but also because knowledge has a way of spreading. This will not remain a secret forever."
"The fact that it has remained one for so long can only be due to blind luck," Vivienne added, "which we would do well not to rely upon going forward."
Again, silence reigned.
"Does it imply something unsavory about my character if I admit I am beginning to feel some pity for Solas?" Dorian asked. "The power he wields seems more burden than opportunity."
Vivienne scoffed, but Harding said: "If it does, we're in the same unsavory boat."
"And I think it likely that I own the boat we share, because I have pitied him ever since the moment I understood what he was doing and what was at stake," I told them. "Innovation said something to me: that...the misery the Veil creates cannot endure. It said that our peoples need each other - that we give spirits shape and reality, while they reflect the world both as it is and as it might be. It reminded me of the Avvar, and what they believe about the spirits that embody their gods."
"You agree with him, that the Veil needs to be destroyed," Harding said, as though it was only just dawning on her.
"I do," I confirmed. "In part because I have come to value spirits, but what haunts me at night is the thought that if the Veil is not natural, it may be subject to the wear that any artificial structure is subject to - and that it may one day fail on its own, without the aid of Solas or anyone else. I see this as an opportunity to lower it with care, to give the world time to adapt."
"It - has endured for this long," Dorian pointed out hesitantly.
"Has it, though?" I responded. "In how many places does it grow weak? And how quickly does it regenerate? Fast enough to overcome the stresses our collective wars and atrocities place upon it? How many more mages are born now than two or three generations ago? It seems to me it may already be failing - slowly, in bits and pieces."
"That...is certainly a possibility," Fiona said quietly. "Before we knew the Veil was a construct, we mages discussed these matters on occasion. Some spent their lives trying to discern the natural rhythms giving rise to the Veil in the hope of bolstering it where it grew thinnest. These attempts were not wildly successful."
"Because there are no such rhythms," Dorian sighed.
"I don't think Solas ought to take the decisions of others upon himself. Human animosity towards elves isn't his fault or responsibility," I told them. "He should do what is best for the world - lowering the Veil slowly and with care - and let others react as they react rather than attempting to manage those reactions."
"Agreed," Leliana said softly. "Especially as he would have friends to call upon, were he less insistent on doing all of this alone, his way, as quickly as possible." I heard her sigh. "If you failed to change his mind on this point, Silea, I fear the rest of us have little chance of doing so."
"He feels too much responsibility for the elven and spirit lives that have already been lost," I told her. "And - my existence does little to help matters. He is frightened by my mortality."
"Of course he is," Leliana whispered with another sigh. "That makes perfect sense."
"Ir abelas," I apologized reflexively.
"No," she replied. "Your relationship is all that allowed you to get close to him, to learn these things that may aid us. Do you really think any of us would talk him out of this plan, if he were not in love with you and afraid to watch you die? No. He would not listen to any of us, regardless."
"No. That is likely true," I allowed.
"Well then, go on," she prompted me. "There is still more, clearly."
I hesitated, and decided not to tell them he feared he might be driven to hurt me. "After we had argued more and I told him about my interest in mathematics, I remembered to ask him about the Anchor."
"What about the Anchor?" Leliana wondered.
"Dorian, would you kindly tell the Divine why I might need to ask about the Anchor?" I requested pointedly.
Fiona answered before he could. "Its energy still weaves through your aura," she said, her brow furrowing. "I had supposed it was merely an...echo - perhaps because you used it to venture into the Fade."
"That was a possibility I hadn't thought of," Dorian said, "but I suppose the point is moot now. What did your Dread Wolf have to say for himself, hmm?"
"I thought he was merely sloppy at dismantling spells," Vivienne sniffed before I could answer. "Or, more charitably, that he was too rushed for time to do the job properly."
"Apparently, without his orb, he was incapable of fully dismantling the spell," I told them. "He said that the Anchor could be reforged by someone who knew what they were doing - "
"So, no one besides him," Dorian interjected.
"But," I went on, ignoring the interruption, "that given enough exposure to lyrium or the Fade, it might regenerate without any intervention."
"Well, that would have been good to know before you went into the Fade looking for him," Dorian said, his voice tart.
"A single day isn't an issue," I said. "It might take years. If the Veil falls, though…"
"And yet he claims to be concerned about your mortality?" Vivienne asked. "Darling - "
"I know!" I interrupted her. "I know. Ise felasil. He let a few other interesting bits of information slip through, though. That the Anchor would be more stable without the Veil, for instance. That it would be more stable if exposure to the Fade made me a mage - as it might, since I am an elf. He called it a weapon, and said its power over the Veil was almost incidental. He seemed almost as concerned with what I might do with it as he was with what it might do to me."
"Perhaps," Fiona said, casting a sidelong glance at me, "we should examine the remnants of this spell more closely as long as you are here."
"I think that might be wise," I agreed.
"And perhaps you will give my Circle a similar chance once you return to Val Royeaux?" Vivienne asked, her voice coming through the crystal like sugar-coated steel.
"I don't see how it can hurt," I replied.
"As long as we are offering such access to mages we trust, I will try to think of a reason to send you to Tevinter," Leliana said, and I couldn't tell whether or not she was joking.
"I would appreciate that," Dorian told her, "but we will need to discuss timing. As much as I want to pick through Silea's aura for myself, things are...delicate here, just now."
"Of course," she agreed. Apparently she was not joking. It appeared a visit to Tevinter lay in my future, which would no doubt be exciting - perhaps more exciting than I was prepared for.
"All right. I don't suppose we could hire the Bull's Chargers to escort me?" I asked.
"As kind as it is for you to think of it," Dorian answered, "with relations between the Qunari and Tevinter as they are - "
"Well, I thought I would offer, anyway," I told him. "It would have pleased me to facilitate someone's romantic prospects, even if I can't do anything for my own."
"Now you're almost making me feel bad over how much I intend to tease you later," he said.
"I suppose as long as it's only almost, you're safe," I replied dryly.
"Anything else about the Anchor?" Leliana asked.
"Not for the moment," I told her. "Fiona and I will let you know if she finds anything worth mentioning." I took a breath. "The next part is important - the part that may allow Fiona to gain some much-needed insights for tying enchantments into the Fade."
"Sounds juicy," Harding said.
"Has the rest of this not been juicy enough for you?" I asked her.
"Well - the is the Inquisitor possessed? parts were certainly fun," she told me.
"I quite liked the parts where she and the Dread Wolf got distracted, myself," Dorian put in.
I rolled my eyes, even though Dorian couldn't see me. "Yes, you're all terribly funny. I, meanwhile, visited a Fade reconstruction of an ancient Elvhen city that once rested where Cumberland sits now. Or - mostly above where Cumberland sits now. Nehnadahlen, original home to Falon'Din and his court. Moreover, I may be able to find my way back."
"If you could do that, you might be able to take someone with you," Fiona said, grasping my meaning immediately. "I could examine the spellwork of the ancient Elvhen directly."
"I already know that they tied a great many of their everyday enchantments directly to the Fade," I told her. "Their roads - the floating buildings - so many things that they took entirely for granted."
"Now that just isn't fair," Dorian said.
"Agreed," Vivienne added.
"It's where Solas took me," I told them with a chuckle. "I can't help it."
"In time, I might be able to find my own way, if you take me often enough," Fiona mused, not paying attention to the envy of the other two mages. "If its location was so near Cumberland - I could explore it at my leisure. An entire Elvhen city. Intact."
"If I can get back," I cautioned her. "Solas said it was possible - that spending so much time in the Fade, and doing it in a more receptive frame of mind than I had before this point, might leave enough of a mark on me to allow me considerable freedom. But I will have to see, and it may be a process."
"The opportunity is worth anything it takes," Fiona told me.
"Agreed," Leliana said. "If you need a month in Cumberland - two - take as much time as you need. Imagine - an elven city so entirely lost to history, none of us have even heard its name," she said with breathless wonder. "What an opportunity, indeed."
"Now do you believe he tells me too much?" I asked Vivienne.
"Certainly, my dear - as long as it isn't a trap," she replied.
"Now you're just being difficult," Dorian told her.
"And now all of you are fully up-to-date on what I learned," I said lightly, and then sobered. "What I risked my life for, and what Gils gave his for."
"His sacrifice was not wasted," Fiona assured me.
"Now I have a few questions, if you don't mind," I told her. "Most pressingly: what became of the people we rescued from the spider-Saarebas monster?"
Everyone was silent for a moment. "Alive - but infected by red lyrium," Fiona said at last.
"At least the Ben-Hassrath agreed to meet us to collect their people," Leliana said. "They will no doubt be put to death, but I am equally certain they will be debriefed first. It may provide an opening for future talks."
"As for Bonny Sims and the Irregulars," Harding said, "I've already chosen institutions for each of them, as near their families as I could get, and sent out next-of-kin letters. They're still lucid for now, so - they're putting their affairs in order."
I sighed. "I - hadn't considered that if the spider was infected, of course its venom…"
"None of us had, either," Harding sighed. "It was - definitely a blow. Especially when we thought we had lost you, on top of it."
"I did warn Ysabeau not to assume I was dead until she saw the body," I told the scout.
Leliana chuckled. "You ought to consider making it official Inquisition policy," she advised me. "Considering how many times we have thought you certainly dead, only to have you emerge from the most unlikely places, largely unscathed."
"I'll think on it," I promised. "How did they end up caught by the spider, though? Especially Bonny?"
"One of the Irregulars had an accident crossing a field above the caves, likely near an unmapped entrance," Harding said. "A nail caught his leg as they were climbing over a fence. They think the construct followed the blood spoor. Opened a rift right on top of them, in the room they were sharing at the inn. Took them all before they were more than half awake."
"That's awful," I sighed. "I'm glad we killed it. How are Ysabeau, Crespin, and Endris?"
"All alive, none of them infected by red lyrium," Harding answered, relief evident in her voice.
"As well as can be asked for," Fiona agreed. "We should discuss cleanup efforts - but that can be done later."
"Indeed," Leliana agreed. "Keep me apprised of your progress. Anything else that everyone should hear?"
No one had anything, and so we began saying our goodbyes.
Ise felasil: He's a fool