I'll Be Seeing You

Chapter 1: Saudade

Sokka wipes a stray bead of sweat from his forehead as he returns to his seat. His heart beats along to the quick tempo of the music, and his breath is heavy from dancing, but a smile remains etched on his face as he reaches for his cup of sake. It takes a few moments for him to catch his breath as he nurses his drink, but he savors the slight sting of alcohol as it trickles down his throat, cooling his tongue and warming his belly in all the right ways.

The table he's seated at is long and ornate, detailed patterns carved into sturdy oak, littered with flickering candles and remnants of the banquet's impeccable cuisine. Aside from Sokka, the chairs are mostly empty, save for King Kuei and Bosco sitting just a few yards away. It's hard to hear over the music, but Kuei seems to be babbling on about something or other to the bear as it blissfully chomps on what's left of the food. Sokka can't help but chuckle at the sight.

At least Bosco likes stewed sea prunes.

He takes a moment to wonder how a bear and a king manage to hold a conversation before turning his attention back to the dance floor, where the rest of the wedding guests remain. It's late into the festivities, that odd time of day when you're not sure if it still counts as nighttime or just very early morning. Many of the guests have already gone home, but the tsungi horn players still play an upbeat number that keeps the remaining partygoers up out of their seats.

His eyes find his sister and new brother-in-law amongst the crowd, and he feels a surge of brotherly pride at how beautiful (and more importantly, how happy) Katara looks in her traditional Water Tribe gown, content in the arms of her new husband. Aang looks pretty good too. His traditional Air Nomad robes are a bit fancier than usual, and along with the quiet smile on his face, he looks like the definition of peace and happiness.

It's well earned.

Despite the fast-paced melody and movement around them, the newlyweds remain embraced in a slow dance, clearly too immersed in their own bubble of love to match the quick tempo. Sokka's moment of pride quickly turns to one of discomfort as the pair starts to kiss, and Sokka takes that as his cue to look away. He may be happy for them, but that doesn't change the fact that seeing his sister kiss anyone still gives him oogies.

His eyes continue to scan the hall until they find his own girlfriend, standing idly by one of the dessert tables. Suki seems content and at ease as she chats with their friends Zuko and Mai. Mai looks as bored as always, but Zuko seems pleasant enough, snickering on at something or other while nursing back a drink of his own.

Curious and ready to get back into party mode, Sokka is just about to get up to join them when his eyes shift to another, distant corner of the hall and land finally on Toph.

At first glance, she looks a bit like Mai - bored and indifferent. She's leaned up casually against the wall, her arms crossed above her chest and her finger tapping to the beat of the music. She's alone, though her body language suggests that perhaps she's waiting for something.

Or someone?

Sokka scratches the stubble on his chin. Not for the first time that night, he finds his eyes subconsciously skating over her. To be fair, he's not the only one who's found themselves sneaking glances at the oh-so-esteemed earthbender tonight. Toph's typically brazen presence always demands attention, but tonight, there's an air of nobility to her that has everyone turning heads for entirely new reasons.

Most people - including Sokka - often forget that she was born into a noble house. After all, Toph typically makes a pretty distinct effort to avoid being associated with the upper-class, despite often reaping its benefits. Though, Sokka figures Toph's financial success is less to do with her lineage and more to do with the crap ton of work she's put into her partnership with Earthen Fire Industries, and even that money is used more to benefit her academy and her students and less herself.

There's no doubt about it. Her name may have given her favor, but every ounce of success and nobility she has is something she's earned, and tonight, she seems to have embraced her status.

Or…at least the looks that go with it.

She's ditched her daily sifu outfit in favor of a long, formal gown that flows comfortably over her figure. Its fabric is an elegant, pale jade color that perfectly complements her eyes, which are clearly visible to the world with her hair pinned back in a sophisticated, braided updo. Intricate floral patterns are weaved throughout the dress in gold, silk thread, giving it a metallic, almost ethereal quality.

It looks expensive, and Sokka estimates that even his sister's bridal gown hadn't cost nearly as much. Toph's parents must have supplied the dress, given that she doesn't exactly have an eye for fashion (and probably wouldn't have picked out something so fancy if she did).

Regardless, Sokka thinks it was a good choice.

He takes another moment to be impressed by the quality of the dress, but the more reluctant (yet overwhelming) thought that comes to mind, is how well it highlights what's underneath.

Maybe it's the booze talking, or the sentimentality of his little sister's wedding, or maybe it's just that Sokka hasn't seen his friend wear a dress since he can't remember when, but he can't help but appreciate just how much Toph has grown up.

Sokka's eyes trace her figure, admiring the way the dress hugs at her waist then flows gently over her hips. Of course, he knows that underneath the dress, she's all lean muscle and brute strength. Yet, there is also a delicate, innate femininity to her frame that surprises him.

In the six, nearly seven years since the end of the war, they've all changed and matured into young adults, so this isn't exactly the first time Sokka has found himself noticing the physical changes in Toph. However, it is the first time he's having trouble keeping his eyes off her. He's thought of her as attractive (objectively that is) for a while now - he can't pinpoint exactly how long.

But tonight, there's just something so alluring about her that he hadn't noticed before.

Catching himself, Sokka shakes the wanton thoughts from his head. Even if she's gone through puberty and is technically an adult now, she's still the same old Toph that he's always known and loved (as a friend, of course). Sure, she may have matured physically, but Sokka reminds himself that the Toph he sees now is still the same tough, no-nonsense earthbender that he met when he was fifteen.

Yes, she may have grown up on the outside, but she still loves bossing people around and showing affection through her signature, painful arm punches. Just the other day, she'd been in a spirited mud brawl with her students and calling them 'lily-livers' at the top of her lungs, Sokka egging her on from a distance. She hasn't changed that much, and Sokka hopes she never does.

Still, as he continues to examine her, he makes a distinct effort to avoid looking back down at her figure and to focus solely on her face, respectfully. And, as he does so, he can't help but notice just how mature she looks. Not just in fashion, but in her composure.

It's not that she looks old. Not at all. She only just turned nineteen after all, and her looks reflect her youth. Her expression shines with confidence and her eyes sparkle with that playful intimidation that Sokka has come to associate just with her.

Yet, there is a sadness in her expression hidden deep beneath the surface. It takes Sokka a minute to see it - he's not sure he would have noticed it if he hadn't been staring for so long. But even from a distance, he can see it clear as day.

It doesn't seem like a tangible sadness caused by something current or specific. Rather, it's a weathered down type of sorrow. It's the sort of permanent emotion one gains from years of pain and pressure, from trauma, and from having to have grown up too fast.

Sokka considers that they all carry that with them. Fighting in a war, balancing the weight of the world, and then trying to rebuild it would do that to anyone, much less to kids. Regardless, he hadn't noticed the expression in Toph's eyes before, and it lends itself to the wisdom and maturity that he now finds layered beneath her youthful, abrasive exterior.

Sokka scratches his chin as he considers, Hmm, maybe there's a lot I haven't noticed about Toph before.

As if on cue, Sokka watches curiously as Toph's friend Satoru approaches her carrying a drink in each hand. Next to Toph, he looks equally as elegant and upscale in his perfectly tailored suit, freshly shined shoes and clean-shaven chin, but Sokka doesn't find himself nearly as impressed. He continues to watch as the pair shoots back their drinks before putting the empty glasses down on a nearby surface, and he's just about to look away when suddenly...

Forced to do a double take, Sokka looks on in shock as Satoru grips Toph's hips and suggestively thrusts them towards his own. Even from a distance, Sokka can hear the uncharacteristically girly giggle that Toph lets out as Satoru's hands slip down to her butt and give it a more-playful-than-it-should-be-in-public squeeze. He leans his head down into the crook of Toph's neck before whispering something into her ear that seemingly causes her to blush.

That blush mirrors itself onto Sokka's cheeks as he finally averts his eyes, his heart beating rapidly against his chest as an uncomfortable, foreign feeling roots itself into his gut. He crosses his arms in an effort to make the feeling go away, but his eyes subconsciously glance back in the couple's direction, only to find the two exchanging heated kisses. The sight causes another wave of whatever that feeling is to ripple through him, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He finally looks away (for real this time) and instead opts for staring blankly into space as he tries to process the sudden tightness in his chest.

Here I thought the oogies from Katara and Aang were bad! Sokka pouts to himself. But… 'oogies' doesn't really feel like an accurate word to describe this feeling. No, that's not it.

Honestly, part of him is feeling a little hurt about being left out of the loop. He hadn't known that Toph and Satoru were more than friends, and by the looks of it, they seem to be pretty familiar with their more 'romantic' embraces. He's surprised by just how intimate they looked. And in public no less! That kind of comfort level doesn't just come out of nowhere, especially from someone like Toph.

No, tonight isn't the first time that she and Satoru have shared kisses, that much is clear.

But, are they a couple?

Are they just… hooking up?

And since when did Toph hook up with anyone!?

Logically, Sokka knows that Toph is no longer a kid and is perfectly old enough to do whatever she wants with her body and with whomever she wants. He knows that.

But... knowing it as a possibility and seeing it right before his eyes are two very different things. It's uncomfortable, to say the least, but whether that's because it feels a bit voyeuristic to see something so intimate or because it's yet another reminder that Toph has grown up, Sokka can't say for sure.

He can't help but feel a little protective, even though he knows Satoru is not the kind of guy to take advantage of a girl (not that Toph would let anyone take advantage of her). Still... something about it doesn't sit well with him.

And why didn't she tell me!? We tell each other everything!

It's hurtful, yet not entirely surprising. Toph isn't one to linger too long on the topic of 'feelings', at least not her own. She's a good listener and surprisingly supportive when it comes to her friends' emotions, but Sokka can only recall a few instances when Toph truly let herself open up. Even with her closest friends, she likes to keep certain things to herself.

Still, Sokka was always under the impression that she made exceptions for him.

What they went through together during the war, up on the airships... that kind of bond can't be replicated, and despite often travelling on different paths since the war, they've only gotten closer through the years. They share a silent, mutual understanding of one another, and their no-bullshit, playfully mocking, yet entirely free of judgement support for one another is something Sokka has come to rely on.

Out of everyone, for some reason, he just finds it easiest to confide in Toph. He's told her things he hasn't shared with anyone else, not even with Suki or Katara. Isn't he supposed to be the one person that she can tell anything too in return? It hurts to find that this is not necessarily true. Frankly, he's even a little pissed of! How is it fair that she gets to know everything about him but not the other way around!

Okay, so deep down, Sokka knows there's a part of him that's projecting hurt into anger in an effort to cover up something else that he can't quite articulate. This nagging feeling in the back of his head. This weird mix of nostalgia and…longing? But for what, Sokka is unsure. Something that he's never had, yet he misses terribly.

How can I miss something when I don't even know what it is that I'm missing?

Whatever it is, it gives him the urge to both laugh and cry. It's confusing. It's empty, but full at the same time, and Sokka suddenly finds himself wondering just how much sake he's had to drink.

"Hey, there you are!"

Sokka's thoughts are interrupted by the pleasant timbre of Suki's voice as she approaches the table. He looks up at her warm smile, and for a moment, he no longer feels so empty. He returns her smile with an impish grin of his own, feeling bold as he grabs his girlfriend's arm and playfully pulls her down onto his lap. She giggles as he does so, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Sokka can't help but think of how eerily similar it sounds to Toph's giggle from only moments ago. He dismisses the thought, mercifully distracted by Suki as she leans down to place a gentle kiss on his lips before pulling away.

Despite the distraction, he must not be very good at masking his emotions, as Suki's smile is quickly replaced by a look of calculating confusion. "Hey. What's wrong?"

He opens his mouth to respond, but closes it just as quick, unsure how to put what he's feeling into words. The more he thinks about it, the less he's sure he wants to, realizing the somewhat inappropriate implications of admitting his troubled feelings over Toph kissing another guy, and to his own girlfriend no less.

Thankfully, the spirits have mercy on him, and their moment gets interrupted before he has the chance to stick his foot in his mouth.

"Hey." Zuko greets, almost too low to hear over the music. Though, Sokka only now realizes that the tsungi horns have since been replaced by a softer, more melodic instrument as the party starts to wind down.

For a moment, Sokka is caught off guard when Suki pushes herself off his lap and moves to stand dutifully next to Zuko, though Sokka quickly assumes that it's probably just a sign of respect or something. Friend or not, Zuko is still the Firelord and technically Suki's boss, after all. Not thinking much of it, Sokka follows her lead and stands up from his chair, though he leans his butt against the edge of the table, not quite in the mood for formalities. He's never been quite as professional as his girlfriend or his fire-lording friend.

It does, however, strike Sokka as somewhat less professional, when Zuko places his hand on Suki's lower back - a little too low to be deemed appropriate, if you ask him - and gives it an affectionate, familiar rub.

But Zuko's hand is down just as quickly as he brought it up. "Mai and I are going to head out soon. We've got a long journey back."

"Wait, you're heading back to the Fire Nation tonight? I thought you didn't have to be back until next week?" says Suki, her voice betraying a hint of concern.

"I thought so too." Zuko rolls his eyes, the exhaustion from his duties and the long night clearly waning on him. "But not even the Avatar's wedding can get in the way of diplomacy for too long, I'm afraid."

"Well, can't you at least wait until morning?" Suki asks, "It seems silly that you have to leave in the middle of a wedding."

"I think it is morning," Zuko says, somehow sounding amused and irritated all at once, "And the airship is waiting. Wouldn't want to miss it."

Sokka looks at his friend, skeptically. He's pretty sure the airship wouldn't just leave without the Firelord. Zuko can make it wait for as long as he wants it to.

"Plus," Zuko adds, with a strange, meaningful look directed at Suki, "Mai is anxious to get home."

Sokka, feeling more like an onlooker in this conversation than an actual participant, can't help but notice the look of disappointment on Suki's face. She looks over Zuko's shoulder, presumably over to where Mai is, and Sokka's not sure what to make of her expression now. Something like resignation passes over her eyes. "Oh." she dejects, "Well I'm sorry that you have to go so soon."

"Aren't you going to see him in a just few weeks for guard duty?" Sokka remarks, without thinking. He raises a skeptical brow, but another thought excites him, and again, he speaks without filter. "Oh wait! Did you change your mind? Are you finally thinking about moving to the city with me!?"

"Uh, no, Sokka." Suki flusters, her tone sympathetic, "Sorry, but I can't leave my post - you know that. I'm still going back to the Fire Nation in a few weeks. I'm just sorry that Zuko has to go because... it was nice having the whole gang back together again, of course."

Sokka's excitement turns into another frown as he notes the strange tone in Suki's voice, unsure what to make of it. Again, he tries not to think too much of it. She's probably just tired from the dancing, plus a little drunk. Yeah. That must be it.

"Right," Sokka hesitates. There's an awkward pause between the trio, and Zuko clears his throat in a failed attempt to make it go away. After a moment, with more sincerity, Sokka adds, "Well, I'm just glad that I get to have you here for these next few weeks, at least."

"Me too." She smiles in return, though it doesn't quite give him that 'full' feeling like it did before. He expects her to hug him or something - to bridge a gap that he suddenly feels forming between them - but she makes no move to do so and instead remains dutifully still at Zuko's side.

"Snoozles! Sparky! Uh…Fangirl?"

Sokka turns his head at the sudden interruption, grateful for another distraction as Toph approaches them, her lips turned up in a mischievous grin and Satoru (thankfully) nowhere in sight. Her steps are a little off, and Sokka represses a snicker at his clearly quite intoxicated friend. She pushes past Suki and Spark-errr... Zuko, and leans her butt against the table, mirroring Sokka's position next to her.

"Hmmm, Suki. I just realized that I never gave you a nickname! We'll have to fix that." She mumbles that last sentence to herself before adding, "Anyway, what a wedding, am I right!?"

Sokka is about to make a snide comment, but Suki does it for him. Teasingly, "You would think so, wouldn't you?"

A ferocious blush creeps its way onto Toph's cheeks, visible even underneath the light layer of makeup, which Sokka only now notices she has on. He wonders who did it for her.

Zuko catches on to the mocking tone. "What, why? What am I missing?"

Suki crosses her arms, the playful heckling continuing. "Really? You didn't notice Toph and her new boyfriend smashing face in the corner for most of the night?"

"Uh..." is all Zuko can manage, clearly caught off guard.

Sokka finds himself glad that he isn't the only one previously unaware of Toph's love life. Though, Zuko is always oblivious, so it doesn't really count. Plus, Sokka considers himself a better friend to Toph than Zuko, so…

"Oh, shut it!" Toph snaps, disrupting Sokka's thoughts. Embarrassment remains red on her face, but her voice doesn't betray its usual bravado. "It's not like all of you haven't had PDA with your significant others before. And do I get on your cases? No! Excuse me for wanting to have a bit of fun with my boyfriend."

Reflexively, Sokka's brows raise up in surprise. What he should say is, Toph, I'm so happy for you. It's great that you have a boyfriend.

Instead, "You didn't tell me you were seeing anyone."

It's the first set of words he's spoken to her since the ceremony several hours ago, and only now does Sokka realize that that's probably because she's been off kissing her new 'boyfriend'. The hurt in his voice is clear, and now it's Toph's turn to look surprised. But, before she can respond, Zuko walks up to her side and places a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"You're right, Toph. And good for you - it's nice to see you happy."

"Thanks, Sparkman." Toph lands a signature tap on Zuko's arm, and Sokka can't help but notice that Zuko is right. She does look happy. She looks…in love. An expression so different from the sadness he had seen earlier, and something he had never seen on Toph before. Why does that bother him so much?

"Hey, Zuko." Suki nods in the direction of the exit, gesturing to where Katara and Aang are exchanging pleasantries with a few of the guests as they prepare to leave.

The venue is clearing out fast, and only now does Sokka realize that staff is starting to clear away tables and that the band has stopped playing. He spots Mai waiting by the door with a few Kyoshi Warriors, her foot tapping impatiently as Ty Lee appears to be chatting her ear off. Mai is looking over in their direction, and Sokka can't decide if her expression is a suspicious one or just her normal, resting glare. Though, Sokka can't imagine what reason she'd have to be suspicious, so it must be the later.

"Your girlfriend is waiting for you," says Suki, her voice once again unreadable to Sokka's ears. "Ready to go? I'll come say goodbye and escort you back to your airship."

Zuko sighs, clearly not looking forward to the long ride back to the Fire Nation. "Oh yeah. Guess I better get going."

Zuko pats Toph awkwardly on the shoulder before walking away - Suki in tow - towards Mai, leaving Sokka and Toph alone for the first time that night.

The two share a tense moment of silence. Silences, especially tense ones, are typically a foreign concept with their friendship, and Sokka's not sure what to make of it. Thankfully, before the silence has a chance to fester for too long, Toph breaks it. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Satoru."

Sokka turns his body towards his friend, the booze in his system making the world spin a little as he does so. "Why didn't you?"

Toph bites her lip, and Sokka's eyes instinctually flicker down at the gesture. "Because, it's still kind of new, and I didn't want to tell anyone right away in case it doesn't work out. Plus, you know I've never been one for all that mushy talk anyway."

"But…we're best friends, Toph. Aren't we?" Sokka insists, still unsure why this whole thing bothers him so much. "I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything. Even the 'mushy' stuff."

"I know. But…we've never really talked about that stuff before," she argues, the blush returning to her face. "And… Well, for some reason I was worried that you wouldn't like him."

At this, for some reason, Sokka's heart quickens. He hopes the alcohol in her system prevents Toph from sensing it. What does she mean?

"What? Why? You guys have been friends for years and I've never had a problem with him before," Sokka points out, slightly defensive. "Why wouldn't I like him now?"

"I know that! Look, I know there is no logical reason for you not to like him. It's just…" Toph bites her lip again, unsure. Sokka's breath hitches, afraid of where she's going with this. Can she sense my jealo- err, I mean, discomfort? Sokka is not jealous. That would be crazy.

"Just what?"

Toph sighs, seemingly annoyed at the emotional turn in the conversation, but eventually, she relents, "Just, if there was a chance that, for whatever reason, you didn't like him, I was worried what you might think of me for dating him. And..." begrudgingly, Toph admits, "And I guess your opinion matters to me, or whatever."

Oh.

Sokka's body visibly relaxes, his shoulders falling as he releases a breath of relief, an understanding smile gracing his lips.

"Well, well, well. Who knew? Who knew that the great Blind Bandit, Inventor of Metalbending, The Greatest Earthbender of all time and member of the esteemed Beifong family..." Sokka teases, gusto in his voice as he slings his arm over her shoulders, "Who knew that the all mighty she would care what I - a mere Water Tribe peasant - thinks? What is the world coming too!?"

"Whatever, Captain Boomerang. I take it back!" Toph pushes away from him and lands a swift punch to his arm. It hurts, but he laughs anyway, feeling a sense of relief (and perhaps a twinge of pride) that Toph not only cares what he thinks, but just openly admitted it. Toph, on the other hand, huffs indignantly and is about to walk away, but Sokka grabs the fancy fabric of her sleeve to stop her.

"Hey." His fingers fiddle with the silk, his voice gentle, "Does he make you happy?"

Toph faces him, her unseeing eyes somehow finding his, her voice softer than before, "Yes, he does."

The genuine smile returns from earlier, and Sokka, thinking clearly for the first time that night, feels content for his friend. She deserves to be happy. And she's also right - he really has no logical reason not to like Satoru. That doesn't mean that he does like him, but, if he makes Toph happy, then…

"Then that's all that matters. I'm happy for you."

An unexpectedly bashful smile crosses her face, and in a rare moment of tenderness, "Thanks, Sokka. It's good to see everyone happy. I think we all deserve it, don't you?"

Sokka recalls that look of sorrow and wisdom that he had seen reflected in her eyes before. He looks for it again, and sure enough, despite being clearly very happy, drunk and in love, deep down, it's still there. That will never go away.

"Yeah," Sokka diverts his attention across the room, where he spots his girlfriend again. Suki looks over at the same time and sends a loving smile his way. He returns it, gladly taking in its warmth before looking back down at Toph standing next to him. He's grateful for the love he has with Suki - wouldn't trade it for the world. Yet, as his eyes scan over his best friend, that strange feeling from earlier returns, settling deep in his gut. Longing for something, missing something he's never known. "Yeah, we do."

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter - thank you for reading! Just some notes on this story. This is the first fanfic and first Tokka fic I've written in years, but I really wanted to explore how these two characters may have matured into adulthood, both together and as individuals. I think (I hope) I've matured a bit since my first story and have a bit more life experience/insight that will reflect itself in my writing.

While I don't want to spoil the story, I do feel like I should warn you that it's not always smooth sailing for Toph and Sokka, and the story will include some relationships, pairings and themes that might surprise some. My intention is to create a story that could theoretically work within the walls of cannon, with a few of my own headcanons thrown in, of course.

I appreciate feedback and reviews, but more importantly, I hope you enjoy the story!

Happy reading!

xx, C