Chapter 4: Grow a Pair

The clock ticks, and Sokka is hyper-aware of the sound. Outside, the wind howls, and the force of it shakes the glass of the windows, keeping Sokka on edge. He smells fresh coffee being brewed somewhere nearby, and Sokka gets the strange sense of déjà vu as he rereads the letter in front of him, his eyes struggling to focus on the words as his mind drifts elsewhere.

Sokka,

I'm not quite sure how to begin this letter. I'm so sorry for what happened at the King's wedding. I don't even remember what exactly our fight was about, but I know we both said some things that were hurtful, and I know we haven't been in the best place lately. Do you think we can find a way to move past this? I miss you.

Congrats on winning the election. I had no doubt that you would. I'm proud of you.

I hope that you are doing well. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I hope to hear from you soon.

All my love,

Suki

Admittedly, he was a bit surprised when he received the letter. Usually after one of their arguments, it's Sokka who makes the first move towards reconciliation. In truth, he's not sure how to feel about it. He's had a lot on his mind these past few weeks, and he hates to admit that thoughts of Suki were not on the top of his radar. What does that say about us?

"So, are you going to keep avoiding me forever, or can we talk now?"

Sokka looks up at the source of the interruption, startled out of his thoughts. Toph stands in the doorway to his office, her arms folded across her chest and hip cocked impatiently to the side. Her expression is scrutinizing, and even though she can't see, Sokka feels like she's purposefully fixing him with a pointed stare. How does she do that? She must have come directly from work, as the smooth, typically shiny metal of her uniform is scuffed with a few patches of dirt. Her hair, fashioned in her signature bun, is a bit messy, with flyaway strands sticking out in all directions. Her face is flushed pink, though Sokka guesses that's mostly just from the wind. The rosiness of her cheeks mirrors itself on her lips…which are turned down in a grimace. She may look a little dishevelled, but she remains the picture of authority, and Sokka's palms sweat at the sight of her.

He clears his throat, "I'm not avoiding you." He looks back down at his letter, feigning indifference.

Toph rolls her eyes as she steps further into his office, closing the door behind her. She takes a few strides until she's standing right in front of his desk, her presence demanding attention, "I can tell you're lying, remember?"

Sokka sends a glare her way, but quickly remembers that she can't see it. He ignores her comment, putting down Suki's letter and reaching for another document. He makes a show of scribbling, and the sound of quill scratching paper fills the otherwise silent room.

Toph lets out a frustrated sigh, "Whatever. That's not why I'm here anyway."

Sokka looks up at her, curiosity overruling his desire to remain aloof. Even under her irritated, blind gaze, Sokka's eyes can't help but flicker to her lips as she worries them between her teeth. Her lips are pouty, slightly swollen, and Sokka gets an unwelcome flash of rouge lipstick smeared across Zuko's chin. His expression sours again.

Not hiding the indignation from his voice, "Why are you here then? I'm busy."

Toph pauses, glaring at his tone, "New recruits. I need your help in getting them."

"Why do you need my help?"

"Because. As much as I hate to admit it, you have a knack for motivating people, and the recruits I've been getting in lately have been shit."

Less harsh, but still hesitant, "Right."

A frustrated growl emits from Toph as she slams her hands on his desk, leaning forward into his space. Sokka's breath hitches, and he fails to catch the way she tries to ignore it, and the pang it elicits in her chest, "Look, we can't afford to be lazy right now! There has been a significant rise in violent crime just in the past month, and I'm starting to think that this string of violence is part of a much bigger threat!"

Sokka gulps at her outburst. He itches the back of his head, heat crawling up his neck as the close proximity to Toph flusters him. Even after a day of work, she still somehow manages to smell good. Intoxicating, even. Her scent reminds him of the sweet, earthy petrichor that accompanies fresh, summer rain. Sokka backs up a subtle inch, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by her presence. Putting aside his feelings, he tries to refocus his attention back on the problem at hand. Swallowing the lump in his throat, "Bigger threat?"

"Yes." She calms, but remains authoritative, "We've noticed a pattern in the type of crime activity lately that indicates the potential of an organized crime unit on the rise. If gangs are sprouting, then we don't have time to waste. We need to get better recruits on board so we can tackle this issue head on and make up for our lack of resources. My officers are overworked enough as it is."

Sokka takes another look at his friend, and under closer inspection, he can't ignore the bags under her eyes or the stress that seems permanently etched into her face. She's clearly been living with this problem for a while now, and she's only now coming to him for help. Probably because I haven't made it easy for her. Guilt settles in his stomach. Wow, what kind of friend have I been lately? She's only recently been through a breakup. She's been dealing with a crisis at work. She needs someone right now.

Still, why did she have to turn to Zuko?

Sokka nods, his voice low and laced with concern, "And you? Are you overworked?"

Toph leans back from his desk, standing straight again. Stubbornly, "Don't you worry about me. I can handle it." Sokka raises a skeptical brow as Toph continues, "What I can't handle is the stream of lily-livered recruits I've been getting in lately! Can you help or not?"

Sokka remains concerned for his friend, but knows better than to push. Plus, he can't help but feel flattered by her confidence in him, so he puts his thinking cap on, "Hmmm, I think so. I bet we can create a new campaign to more effectively target the right recruits. A simple change in marketing strategy. You can tell me what you need and I'll work with the other representatives to push forward the agenda. We can also work on streamlining the recruitment and training process, if you think that will help."

Toph releases a breath of relief, the anxiety finally lessening from her face, "Good. I do think that will help. Thanks, Sokka."

"No problem…" Still, he has to ask, "But again, why come to me? Why not go to Aang?" Or Zuko? His mind can't help but go there, as irrational as it may be.

Frustrated again, Toph rubs a tired hand over her face, "You know how I feel about dragging Aang into things when I don't have to. Besides, aren't you supposed to be the idea guy?"

Still unsure, "I guess."

Sensing his lack of confidence, Toph walks around his desk until she's standing next to him. She places a comforting hand on his shoulder, and the small gesture sends a jolt to his chest.

Sincerely, if not a little pert, "Look, I know I don't say it enough, but I trust you. You haven't let me down yet."

Sokka can tell that she's making an effort to come across as light-hearted, but that doesn't stop a memory from hanging in the air between them. His mind flashes to a distant time, and he can still feel the intense heat of the flames as they viciously burn the world around them. He can still feel the desperate squeeze of their hands, slick with sweat as they hold on for dear life, the small amount of friction between their fingers serving as the only barrier between life and death. He can still hear her voice, so young and frightened, but trusting. Aye aye, Captain.

His throat thickens, and he forces himself to swallow the memory, "Thanks, Chief. You too."

Toph bows her head at the moniker, trying to hide her blush. She always gets a little flustered when Sokka calls her that, but his voice sounds even huskier than normal.

Now that business is done, she has to ask, "Now that that's taken care of, are you done avoiding me?"

The question reminds Sokka why he was so rigid around Toph in the first place, and the irrational anger comes rushing back. Sokka doesn't say anything, but he stiffens, and Toph picks up on the change immediately.

Daringly, "Look, if you have something to say then say it!"

For someone so short, Toph still manages to have a commanding presence, and from his position sitting at his desk, she towers over him. That overwhelmed sensation returns, and Sokka gulps back the lump in his throat. Wanting to get on her level, he stands from his chair and walks a few feet away from her and towards the window, his back facing her.

Pensively, "I don't have anything to say. I just didn't realize you and Zuko were a thing."

Behind him, Toph sounds all too casual, "We're not a thing, we're just friends."

Sokka turns suddenly to face her, frustrated by her apathy. Accusingly, "It sure didn't look like you were just friends a few weeks ago."

Now getting defensive, Toph narrows her eyes, "Look, I don't know why you think it's your business - or why you even care - but I can promise you, Zuko and I are just friends," with a shrug, she adds, "Sometimes friends fool around."

Sokka glares back at her, "It's my business because you're my friend, and I care because I only want what's best for you."

Resolutely, Toph stomps up to Sokka and gets in his space, jabbing a finger at his chest with every few words, "Bullshit! I don't know why it bothers you so much Sokka, but in case you haven't noticed by now, I'm not a little kid anymore! I'm an adult - and I don't need your approval for every guy I date. I can do what I want without having to worry what you think!"

Sokka steps back, the words feeling like a stab in the gut. A) Like he needed the reminder that she's an adult now. It's a fact he's been aware of for years, ever since she wore that stupid (breathtakingly beautiful) dress to that damned wedding. And B)…

"You once said that you care what I think," Sokka says, dejectedly, "That my opinion matters to you. Has that changed?"

Her anger quickly deflates, but the frustration remains, "Sokka. I do care. But I have to live my life. I can't just sit around waiting for you to-" Toph stops herself, abruptly. Her mouth hangs open, air barely escaping as she mentally tries to reel in her words.

Sokka's eyes dilate and his breath hitches once again, his heart rate accelerating at her confession. She hasn't said anything incriminating, not really, but the silence between them is revealing enough. It's the first time either one of them has acknowledged that dangerous, unspoken question that's lingered between them for some time. And in truth, it is one that has to remain unspoken and unanswered. In the back of his mind, Sokka thinks of Suki's letter.

But the thought isn't enough to stop him. His voice low, gravelled by suppressed emotion, "Waiting for me to what?"

Toph's forehead creases in consideration, her face pained. The air floats with anticipation in the small space between them, and the only sounds in the room are of the wind rattling the window and that damn clock's tick tock, tick tock, keeping time on the charged moment. At this point, it's become a habit for Sokka to glance at Toph's lips whenever she bites them, but this time, the motion is accompanied with the urge to reach out a thumb and graze it. He represses that urge, but Sokka's body still leans an inch closer to hers, instinctively.

Within seconds, he's met with her hands, rough at his chest as she pushes him back with a startling amount of force.

The bite in her voice returns, "You want to know what I think!? I think you're projecting your own problems and resentment towards Suki onto me! Well listen here, stop using me as an excuse to avoid your relationship problems! And you know what - if you care so much about my love life, then don't just sit around moping and avoiding me! If seeing me with Zuko bothers you so much, then why don't you grow a pair and do something about it!"

Left breathless, Sokka can only watch as Toph stomps towards the door, violently flings it open, then slams it on her way out.

Sokka jolts at the echoing sound, then stands in place for a few minutes, mind racing as he tries to process what just happened. He does not like these arguments between him in Toph, not one bit. They always have playful disagreements and jests, but this is crossing the boundary into something else. Something destructive. They're treading into murky, unforgiving waters, and he finally realises why whatever feelings that exist between them have remained unspoken. Why he is hesitant to admit them even to himself. They're too dangerous. With Toph as his friend, he knows - without a doubt - that they'll always stay afloat. But, with Toph as his…something else…they run the risk of drowning.

Walking back to his desk, Sokka finds a clean piece of parchment and picks up his quill, dipping it in ink. He stares blankly at the page for a moment before moving his hand to write.

Suki,

Thank you for your letter. I'm sorry too. Let's work through this.

Miss you more.

Love,

Sokka