Six weeks had passed.
I woke up because there was a hand on my shoulder. "You have to stop doing that, Jin!" I growled into a pillow. I could hear him laughing. Begrudgingly I opened my eyes and there he was, sitting next to the couch that I had crashed on, grinning widely. If I could count on one thing these days it was Jin making me wake up in the morning, long before anyone else would get up. No idea why maybe he didn't want to be alone. The weirdest thing was that as soon as I was up, Jin would go into the kitchen and make breakfast, no clue what me moaning on the couch because my head was hurting helped him with that.
It didn't happen that often, but from time to time. Whenever we were shooting interviews at the boy's apartment and had a few drinks afterwards. Or... even if we just had drinks for no reason. They all had their own apartments, but still stayed at the shared dorm whenever they worked late or just wanted to hang out. And the sad truth of it was that even though I had done my best - started to take Korean classes, went out to cafés when I was writing, hell, I had gone to a Bingo night at some point - I just hadn't made any new friends yet. Partly because it was hard, partly because I was busy and then partly... because I had them.
Seoul was everything I had hoped for and more. But it also had been tough to get used to it, especially now that winter had its tight grip around the city. It was cold - not much colder than in New York or London but for longer periods of time. I was living in a small apartment on the outskirts of the city, not far from the rest of my team. Not everyone had come, but it hadn't been hard to find other willing people to join us. Georgia actually lived in my apartment building, which, as we found out, mainly housed Bighit staff, so no surprise there. She hadn't slept on the couch last night, she had disappeared with Kookie sometime around midnight. Georgia had not been amused when she had finally heard about our little make-out session, but since things had gotten somewhat serious between them after we had gotten to Seoul, I just had to tell her. Watching the two of them together was adorable. I had almost wanted to warn her of him because he could... basically have whoever he wanted, but apparently, he just wanted Georgia at the moment. It wasn't my place anyways. Last night they had been sitting on the couch together, her knees on his thighs, his hand on her knee. He looked almost proud. She over the moon. I was a little jealous. Not because of him, because of what they had. You could almost tell by looking at them how light they felt. How happy. They probably had woken up this morning smiling, cuddling... and all I had was a headache and Jin singing Korean folk songs in the kitchen while frying bacon. But then his face showed up next to my head again, a glass of orange juice and aspirin in hand and for a split second, I considered falling in love with him. Till I remembered who I was and who he was.
Yesterday had been the last day of shooting before the Christmas break. Maybe that was the reason why I was in absolutely no hurry to get moving, all I had left to do till the following afternoon was packing, water an already almost dead house plant and empty the fridge. And then off to visit my family over the holidays. When I finally left with Georgia, half of the boys had already left, there had been suitcases and bags everywhere, so we didn't want to impose. In the cab Georgia was quiet, looking out of the window. "Wow, you are actually sad to not see him for two weeks, hm?" I murmured and she gave me a tired smile. "I know it's a bit stupid, I am actually looking forward to going home..." "It's not stupid. I am happy for you." I almost added an 'Enjoy it while it lasts.' but then didn't. No. Just because I was alone I didn't have to turn into that person. We said our goodbyes an hour later, she was leaving that night and I finally started packing. I didn't notice that it had started snowing until it was coming down hard, quiet surprised I sat behind the window, looking at what could only be described as a snow globe containing a grim grey city. It was still beautiful. And even though it really was grey and grim where I lived didn't mean it didn't have its charms. BTS's part of Seoul was sparkly and luxurious, but this here felt more real. And I didn't mind it. And right then and there I loved it, the snow, everything.
I loved it until I found out early the next morning that my flight was cancelled. Mere hours before my plane would take off the gentle snowfall had turned into a proper snowstorm and in a matter of hours had made the city come to a halt. You couldn't drive on most streets because there was just too much snow, all flights had been cancelled and I was stuck at the airport. It seemed to be my thing. The forecast promised no change for a few days and after a quick angry cry I called my parents and then spent two hours getting back home because getting back into the city was so difficult.
Back in my apartment, I stood under the shower for a good half hour before I wasn't shivering anymore. I had never spent Christmas by myself, but apparently, I was about to experience it for the first time. And then it got worse... a few hours later the heating stopped working, then the light fuses kept blowing on my floor and even though handymen were running around, I got a little scared. It took about an hour before I was so cold that I decided that I would spend the night at a hotel when my phone rang.
It was Yoongi. Surprised I picked up. "Are you okay? Did you get home?" He asked before I could even say a proper hello. "Uhm, I am fine?" I answered a question implied. "Wasn't your flight supposed to be today?" "Eh...yeah. But..." "It was cancelled. Mine was as well. I just got back home. And then we heard that Hongdae was having troubles with its energy supply. I know you live on the outskirt of it, but..." For a second I was shocked by the words I was hearing. That was about the most words I had heard coming out of Yoongis mouth towards me outside of interviews at a time.
I had actually wondered whether my presence at their place in the evenings was bothering him, but after a while, he started eating lunch at my office at the BigHit building whenever the other guys were annoying him because they were so loud. And I had gotten used to him sitting there eating, napping and generally not actually interested in a conversation. He would get up all of a sudden, smile at me and disappear again. But right now for the first time, I felt like he actually cared. He had not only remembered what day my flight was leaving, but also where I lived, even though he had never been here. That was almost... sweet?
"So? Are you okay?" "Ehm. Yeah, I am okay. My building keeps losing power and the heating is off. So I have started packing, I am going find a hotel room in Gangnam and then maybe I can hang out at BigHit during the day I figured, someone probably is there over the holidays anyways." "Have you lost your mind? Come here." He actually sounded a bit pissed. "What?" "Well... might as well come here?" "Well it is on the way, but right now I'd rather get a hotel room before it gets worse." "Oh my gawwwd, Ollie, shut up. I meant to stay here. I am sure you can have Jin's room. Pick one for that matter. Most of the guys left yesterday, it's only Namjoon and me now, so... pack and then get to Hongik University station somehow and I will get someone to pick you up there." It didn't sound like a question, more a command, I just stood there and wasn't sure what to do. "Say: Yes Yoongi, I will text you as soon as I am leaving the house." That made me laugh. "Okay, okay, I will... get going." "Good." "Yoongi?" "Thank you!" "Whatever." And then he hung up. I didn't have time to think, I opened my suitcase, took out the presents for my family and threw in some extra books, warm sweaters and a bottle of wine and then got going again.
Outside it was mad. I couldn't get a cab because my street wasn't cleared of the snow, so it took me forever to get into Hongdae. By the time I had found Yoongis driver I was soaked, almost fell asleep in the car, relieved to be somewhere warm. The drive took about an hour, just because we were moving so slow, and when I finally got out of the car in the underground car park of the boy's apartment building, I felt as if I had been awake for two days straight, even though it was only 8 PM.
Yoongi tried to stop me but I gave him the biggest of hugs, he only stopped being annoyed when I gave him the wine bottle from the suitcase. Not that they didn't have enough alcohol here, but I knew the way to his heart by now. Namjoon appeared in the living room a few minutes later, hugging me as well. Because they had turned the heat up so high and - other than myself - not spent too much time outside in the snow, he was only wearing a shirt and I could feel his body heat through the thin fabric. "Good god, Ollie, you are freezing." He just commented and moments later I was sitting with a cup of tea in my hand on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.
"Why are you guys still here?" I finally asked and they both just looked outside, no words needed. "No, I know, but..." Yoongi interrupted me. "No trains going either. Can't make it to Daegu..." He actually looked a little sad, which was a heartbreaking sight considering he usually looked as if he didn't have a care in the world - good or bad. "And you... wait, don't your parents live close by?" I had turned around to Namjoon, who was nodding. "Yeah, but they are stuck in Sydney. Well, they were stuck in Sydney because the flight to Seoul was cancelled. Now they are on their way to Tokyo in the hopes to at least get closer..." I sighed and took another sip of my tea. One day earlier and we all would have gotten where we wanted to be. Still, I was more than grateful. I texted Jin whether it was really okay to stay in his room and he texted back in Korean, which he now always did, saying that I just had to learn it now that I lived here. Namjoon helped me translate because I had still not even barely gotten the hang of it. He had said it was fine. But in the most complicated way to make it harder for me to read.
"Sooo... welcome to hotel Bangtan. We will do our very best to be good hosts. But you know how I am not allowed in the kitchen and that Yoongi is basically nocturnal. So, make yourself at home and... let's hope this doesn't get worse." Namjoon was doing his best imitation of a receptionist and it made me giggle while I pushed my suitcase into Jin's room. "And you are sure this is okay?" I asked one last time when he was about to walk off into his own room. Namjoon only rolled his eyes. "No, Ollie, please go back into the snow, to your unheated dark apartment." I couldn't help it, I stuck out my tongue at him, he copied me and then hit his little toe when walking through his door. "Shut up. shut it, shut it!" He screamed while I was laughing, following him to see whether he was actually hurt. "You alright?" I asked him while Joon was squirming on his bed, but nodding. "It's fine. My foot should be used to it by now." I stood there for a second, almost as if I had forgotten that I couldn't make it better by kissing the pain away this time, so I left for the kitchen.
Yoongi and I cooked together in almost complete silence that night, which was nice because I was tired. At some point, he did start talking. Asking about my family. Telling me about his. About his girlfriend in Daegu. It was the first time I was hearing about her, but that didn't surprise me. "How long have you been together?" I asked because now I was curious. "About 1 1/2 years." he said and I was almost shocked. The fact that they had kept it a secret for so long was impressive. "And... have you had THE TALK with Bang?" Yoongi just nodded. "Yes. Wasn't fun. But by then it was too late and I do think that the break and the military changed things. Maybe he knew that if we just went back to the way things were that we'd not do it." I nodded slowly, chopping some tofu and almost cutting myself while pondering over what he had said. Yoogni looked at me, one eyebrow raised, his eyes full of judgement. "Well, I am happy for you." I said quickly to change the topic and smiled at him. "I am happy for me as well." he just replied.
We had moved the couch towards the huge living room window. Normally it faced the tv, now it was facing the view. Beneath us Han River and everywhere around us Seoul. The guys lived on the side of a hill that made for a pretty spectacular view, especially now. Watching the snow come down was almost mesmerizing. There was so much to see without us really being able to see anything up close. We ate our food on the couch, we drank wine, we talked. Even once it was completely dark outside the snow reflected the city lights in an eerie way and so we just sat there. Answering phone calls from time to time about how we were okay. The Bangtan group chat was a mix of the others feeling sorry for Yoogni and Namjoon not being able to leave Seoul and at the same time teasing them about it.
"Like... this is fun and all but I have all my equipment at my place, I give it half a day and we are going to get ridiculously bored" Yoogni said at some point when we were about to call it a night but were still just staring at the snow. We were sitting at the floor in front of the couch by now because everyone's bones were aching from all that sitting on the couch. "It could be nice. You could finally get some sleep?" Namjoon said. Yoongi rolled his eyes, shook his head. "That's only nice when you have other options." He was right there. "But can I go to sleep or do I have to be scared that you guys will start making out?" He was sitting between Namjoon and me and we were both staring at him. Yoongi was grinning. "Come on. I give you two days before you go all stir crazy and jump each other's bones. And I get it. I just don't want to be here for that." "Yoogni, no..." I said laughing but he just looked at me with a knowing smile as if to say "come ooonnn..." "So you think boredom will make us lose all control?" He nodded, getting up, stretching his sore body.
What followed was probably not the best idea. But I thought it would be funny, I got up on my knees and crawled over to Namjoon. He was still sitting, leaning on his hands behind his back. He remained completely motionless when I got closer, but his face was priceless. I got so close that I had to place my hands next to his to not tumble into his body. I stopped when there were about two inches left between our faces. I could feel his breath on my lips. Trying to prove a point, I had to admit that it was tempting. Our faces moved slightly, never really getting closer though. Maybe it was in my head but I could feel the warmth of his skin on my lips as well now. His eyes were fixated on my lips, mine on his as well and I could see him slightly parting them, the tip of his tongue touching his lower lip. Probably to make this harder for me.
"See, we can control ourselves." I sad when I finally moved away from Namjoon, who was laughing now, letting himself fall backwards to the floor. Only when I looked up I realized Yoongi had left.
"The fuck?" I murmured, checking, but no, he had really just left. "Come on, that was great, how dare he..." "Yeah, no way you can pull off this kind of stuff with him. He ACTUALLY is cool." I growled, sat back down on the floor and then smiled at Namjoon. "Sorry about that, that was a dumb idea." He just shrugged, got up, helped me up as well. "Was the most action I got in a while so Merry Christmas to me."
It took me a while to fall asleep in Jin's bed, so much had happened today that it was hard to calm my mind to a point where I would actually fall asleep. I thought. But it was an expensive mattress and the sheets smelled fresh and clean and it was warm, so eventually, I drifted off, while contemplating how the hell I would sleep tonight at all.