I felt cheap. The bottle of sparkling wine in my hands looked almost ridiculous as soon as I had entered the lobby of the apartment building because this place... was more than fancy. I actually had debated to make it champagne but when I had seen the prices I had opted for sparkling wine. Figuring that on New Year's Eve nobody cared what kind of alcohol they consumed when really it was maybe the one night people cared? And now... I was standing in an elevator with marble tiles and a pleasant smell and friendly music playing. Once more it hit me that I had no idea who I was going to see. Sure, Namjoon had given me a name so the guy in the lobby would let me get in at all, but all I knew was that "Danny" was organizing a New Year's party at his place and "Danny" was an old friend. "Oh. my. god. Ollie, just be cool for once, this is... it's a party, that's it." I scolded myself while getting out of the elevator, checking for the right apartment before knocking. Just a party. A really fancy party. With only strangers, who might not speak my language. And Namjoon. Sure. No need to be nervous.
As soon as the door opened in front of me I could hear music. Seconds later I was engulfed in a hug with someone I had never met as if we were old friends and a bit baffled I just stood there for a second before Namjoon, who was sitting a few meters behind him on a couch got up and walked over to save me. The dark grey suit he was wearing was tailored to perfection and if it hadn't been for my nerves and the company... I would have sighed loudly. He really looked nice. "Heeey..." he said, patting the guy's shoulder, who was speaking to me in fast Korean. "Don't be scared, this is Danny. He is... very friendly and also pretty drunk already." I smiled at them both and took a deep breath. Okay. They showed me around, introducing me to too many people at a way too quick pace, but at least I was relieved to see that this wasn't a huge party, more like a get together between friends. Chill friends. About 15. There was Hyunwoo, Namjoons best friend from school I had heard about before, an American couple that worked with Danny and to my surprise, Kyung Min was there, Namjoons sister. Which I only realized when she flung her arms around me as well and pulled me into a tight hug, telling me it was nice to finally meet me. "Minnn..." Namjoon whispered as if to say "calm down!" but she didn't seem to care much, pulling me towards the kitchen, pouring us two glasses of what... yes, some sort of drink that was definitely way more expensive than what I had brought. I caught a glance from Namjoon. He seemed somewhat amused and at the same time a little scared. I tried to cheer him up with a smile, poured a third glass and pushed it across the counter towards him.
There were some games. Music. More alcohol. Your basic New Year's Party, except for with a balcony looking over the city, bottles of Moet and a lot of jokes I, unfortunately, didn't understand. The American couple pulled me into a conversation outside for a while, which was when Danny started dancing in the living room and it was a mix of embarrassing and adorable that seemed to be infectious because soon most people were hopping around the room with him. I was a bit surprised to see Namjoon among them, dancing something like the robot next to the couch, but then I remembered that these were his people, his friends. This was him in his natural habitat. No responsibility. No choreography. Just him as one of many. Not DanceMon, just some guy dancing badly at a party. And just that second he looked up and nodded for me to join them, I laughed, but then did. It was fun.
There were a lot of questions about where I was from I kept answering over and over again, but I didn't mind. Maybe for the first time since I had gotten to Seoul, I felt light and like myself. Apart from when I was at the BTS house maybe, but hanging with the boys was usually connected to work. Of course, it probably could have been any party, but here I had an in and I was actually having so much fun that I almost forgot about Namjoon from time to time, just enjoying hanging out with people.
It was almost midnight when I was leaning against the kitchen counter after talking to Danny's girlfriend about her degree when I felt an arm sneak around my waist and even though it didn't come as a surprise who the arm belonged to, I couldn't help but look around in a second of panic. "Ollie... these are my friends..." Namjoon whispered into my ear with a chuckle in his voice and I took a deep breath before starting to laugh as well, my hand on his arm, turning around towards him. "You sure it's fine?" He nodded. "Well... not sure how to say this, but these are some of my oldest friends. Do you really think they have never seen me with a girl?" I raised my eyebrows, looking at him before I let out a little huff sound. Cute. Namjoon just grinned and then pulled me in closer, burying his face in my hair for a moment before kissing my shoulder. "What I am saying is I trust them." "Good."
All of a sudden, Namjoon seemed very fascinated by something on the counter, he started to grin. I tried to find out what it was, but in front of us was only my purse and the things I had taken out a few minutes before when I was looking for my phone. "What...?" "Nothing." I didn't believe him. Of course, I didn't, but it took another few seconds before I saw it as well.
The travel toothbrush I had stuffed into my bag last minute before leaving my place. It had a clear case so it was pretty obvious what it was. I stared at it, mainly to avoid looking up at him when I felt red creeping up my cheeks. Nooo... I closed my eyes for a second before biting my lower lip to keep myself from grinning. When I finally looked up at him again he had about the smuggest expression in his face I had ever seen on him. Grinning he put the case into back into my purse and just stood there, watching me. "Had plans for tonight?" He asked finally and I looked down again, groaning a little. But it was hard to hide my smirk even though I really was a bit embarrassed. I hadn't been sure whether I would sleep at home tonight or not so I had just grabbed the toothbrush just in case, no harm there. Or at least I had thought so. Soon Namjoons chin was resting on my shoulder while I was putting things back into my clutch, but I could hear from his breath that he was still laughing a little. "So smug" I murmured and tried to shake him off me. Namjoon just laughed again and then pulled me in close again. "I bought apple juice." "Okay..." "Because I know you like it in the mornings. You know. Just in case." We were quiet for a second. Then I leaned back against him, also fully smiling now. Whatever this was it felt nice. Because he apparently had put some thought into it as well. And he didn't mind sharing it to lessen the awkward moment. "I really do like apple juice..." I sad in a whisper and could feel him nod. When I turned around his hands were on my waist, he was looking down at me smiling before leaning down to kiss me. The kiss was almost gentle before it turned into more and soon we were where we had left off in his car the other day. My hands in his hair and eventually his in mine as well, he was crowding me against the kitchen counter, as if he couldn't be close enough. And then, of all people, his sister stumbled into the kitchen, made a sound between surprise, amusement and horror and then immediately left again, which had us both blushing so hard while not being able to stop laughing. I held on to his upper arms and he played with my hair while hiding his face with the other hand... and it all felt so normal, especially considering how really not normal it should have felt. "Okay, now that we have successfully traumatized my sister... maybe let's go back to the others before we miss the New Year." he said and I just nodded, giving him a last peck before we moved back into the living room where Kyung Min was shooting us a semi-serious evil look.
Soon we were all outside, toasting to the New Year, watching the firework over the river, exchanging hugs and me getting the sweetest of all New Year's kisses. We were holding hands afterwards, even when talking to other people. It was a bit much. But the night had made me feel so good, I couldn't help acting like an idiot for a while. And after all, we weren't the only ones.
Around 2 AM Jin appeared out of nowhere and for some reason him just showing up at a New Year's party two hours after the countdown had me laughing hard even before he said a single word, which only resulted in him fake screaming at me to stop the bullying. His explanation was that his handsomeness meant he was popular and there where many places he had to be tonight. Which was probably actually true. I noticed him side eying Namjoons hand on my waist and surprisingly unlike him he didn't make a big deal out of it, just tried to hide a smile and then shook his head my direction when he noticed that I had seen him look. I shrugged my shoulders as if to say "I don't know what happened either." Jin just sighed and then got us another drink.
When we finally ended up in a cab my whole body was aching. It had been a long night, but a good one. "Are we going back to the apartment?" I murmured, looking outside after having closed my eyes for a bit, recognizing the area. Jin started laughing. "God no, my room is next to his." I couldn't help covering my eyes in my hand, Namjoon used the opportunity to hit Jin in the side. "My place is actually in the same area as the shared flat. So is Jin's. Who is paying for his own cab next time!" I nodded and Jin laughed and the cab driver probably judged and when we walked across a green patch towards the building entrance the sky was already showing first signs of morning. I had no idea what time it was, we said our goodbyes to Jin and in the elevator ride up I leaned into Joon's side for what felt like an eternity, but probably was about a minute. I woke up again a bit more when we got into his place and my jaw dropped quite a bit. Shit.
Not sure why I was surprised a... well, multi-millionaire... had a nice place, but... there was such a stark contrast of sharing a nice apartment with six other guys. Especially for Seoul, it was spacious and modern and... to be perfectly honest not to my own taste exactly, but very very Namjoon. "Okaaaay..." I murmured when I stood in front of the living room couch, looking over to him, raising my arms. "What the hell..." Namjoon laughed, his hands deep in his pants pockets. He looked proud. Maybe he knew that 'what the hell' was tired-tipsy Ollie for "It's so beautiful here." "I am sorry, but you can never ever see my place. My whole flat is probably as big as your guest bedrooms." He laughed and then shrugged. "I think I kind of deserve it after spending my 20s never waking up without one of the guy's snoring next to me." "I'm pretty sure you are the one who snores." "And I'm pretty sure you do too." He had walked over to me and I had moved my arms around his back under the suit jacket. The way we were smiling at each other probably looked as dumb as it felt. But in a good way. It was hard to explain but in all the excitement I felt surprisingly calm at the same time. Maybe I was fooling myself. And so was he.
Eventually, we had started kissing and Namjoon had slowly started moving, opening the door to his bedroom with one hand and this time I didn't have time to admire anything, I was too wrapped up in his embrace and kiss. It was warm and slow and everything I wanted, if it hadn't been for the fact that... I sighed a little, breaking the kiss. "I...I am so tired." My voice sounded almost frustrated and for a second his dark eyes looked a bit perplex in the dark. Then he started laughing, sighed as well. "Thank god." The next moment he had wrapped his arms around my shoulders and had put what felt like his whole weight on my upper body. We sunk into each other, still laughing. "So...it's okay if we don't..." "Yes. It's probably after 4 AM and I just want to... do... this..." His voice was muffled by my shoulder, but what he said sounded so good. We stood there for a while before Namjoon started chuckling and then pulled me towards the bed. I was laughing as well when he just pulled me with him, him landing on his back, me on top of him. But I definitely wasn't laughing anymore when our faces hit each other. Hard. Since my hands had still been around him when he had made us fall, I had no way of cushioning the fall, so I fell right into him. Somehow our cheekbones collided so hard, I could hear bone hitting bone and then there were just groans and rainbow colours in front of my closed eyes and us both moving apart until we were lying next to each other on our backs. "Fuuckkk..." I heard him growl and tears shot into my eyes, it did hurt pretty bad. Seconds later he was moving over to me, apologizing profusely, but it took me a few moments before I could respond at all. When I finally got out of my little shock bubble, I quickly turned on the light next to me on the bedside table. "Joon, you are bleeding!" He had probably cut his lip open with his own front teeth when my head had knocked into his, now his lower lip was bleeding. "Shit." He kept apologizing, I kept telling him to not worry. We lay there, both fully awake now and in pain. For a while, I thought about whether this had been bad enough for us to have to check for a concussion but didn't want to say it out loud because I didn't want to freak him out even more. Eventually, we slowly got up, both in pain, staring at our faces in a mirror at the wall. "I don't see anything, but it's probably going to look pretty tomorrow, hm?" he murmured. I nodded. "I have some pain killers somewhere. And a cream for dance injuries." "Get it all. And a shirt for me?" He smiled at me in the mirror and then looked as if he wanted to cry because he felt bad. I tried to cheer him up by rubbing his stomach and trying to make him smile, but when it happened it only hurt both our faces. So we sighed some more and Namjoon left to find some things. Minutes later we were in bed again, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, which wasn't easy but the fact that we were both exhausted surely helped. "This is so not the way I imagined this night to go." I heard him say after a while and it made me smile. "Nah, me neither. Is it possible you have gotten clumsier over the years?" "I am so so..." "Stop, seriously, just stop apologizing, okay?" He made some sounds but no actual protest followed, just him moving to his side, his arms loosely around my waist. I copied him, hoping that this way we could eventually fall asleep because the bruised sides of our faces weren't touching the pillows. I was thinking about what to say. It felt like I should say something. About how happy I was to have come with him tonight. That his friends seemed amazing. That I was happier just lying next to him even though I was in pain than I had been in a long time. But no words seemed to properly explain what I was feeling and eventually, we both fell asleep.