I was wrong. Now there are two more regular chapters.

Translations below.

Visitor

"What has he done?" I asked the spirit, my stomach hollowing.

"Lost his battle for self-control," the spirit replied cryptically, indicating the water again to make it clear that it wouldn't explain further.

Somewhat reluctantly, I did as the spirit had suggested, fixing my eyes on the water, finding my awareness pulled in, deeper and deeper, until a picture formed before my eyes - pale and wavering, and yet shaded by emotion in a way that was nearly visible to me. Somehow my position beyond the Veil translated those feelings into something that was almost color, or perhaps scent - I could explain it no better, even to myself.

And the subject of the image? Solas, dressed in the livery of a servant of the College, standing at my bedside and observing my sleeping form with a mixture of tenderness and regret. As I watched, he turned toward the table beside the bed with a sigh, and set down something it was too dark for me to see clearly. "And now, perhaps, you see why I dare not let myself think of you, arasha." He collapsed more than sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from the body - my body - curled up behind him, and bowed his head. "One way or another, I am driven to find you if I allow myself to entertain memories, doubts...questions. The irony is: you have gained such mastery over the Fade, I am safer finding you here, in the physical world, no matter what locks and traps I must bypass to do it."

For a moment he was silent, and I spent it wondering what he feared I might do to him within the Fade - which made me wonder what I could do to him within the Fade. Certainly nothing worse than spying on him or following him about...right? Or was there more?

I hadn't the least idea.

Then he raised his eyes to the ceiling. "You are a marvel, ma vhenan, your accomplishments well worth the pride I know you never indulge in, and so I hope you will forgive me if I indulge in it for you. Perhaps you are, even now, sensing the spell I placed on you and wondering what it means. You might even grasp instinctively how to press yourself against the Veil to watch as I speak these words." He added, in a whisper: "I hope so, though I know the chances are slim."

He half turned toward me - or at least the physical part of me laying near him - drawing one leg up onto the mattress. "My agents are as confident as is possible that you never asked for evunehim. I tried to put the matter from my mind, but I have found the limits of my discipline, it seems, for I cannot. Doubt appears to offer no protection for you - for either of you, perhaps, though that remains to be seen - so instead I am forced to try certainty. Ir abelas."

Would Solas be able to tell already…? Apparently he thought so, because with the apology, he carefully folded aside the bedclothes covering me. I slept in a simple nightshirt, and this, too, he pulled up to expose my lower abdomen, swallowing convulsively as he did it, though he was careful not to touch me. "Tel'sulevan delun," he muttered, the remorse that colored the picture before me tinged also with unwanted lust. I felt a wry smile pulling at one side of my mouth, in spite of how wrong all of this was. I didn't mind Solas touching me, even if he had trapped me in the Fade, but it wasn't anything we had ever had occasion to discuss, and so I was also pleased to see he didn't assume license I had never granted.

He placed his hand below my navel, a look of intense concentration crossing his face. I twitched as a strange sensation swept over me - a shifting, or parting, as though...but no, it was already gone, and Solas's eyes were widening. He let out a long breath, his fingers stroking my skin. Then, as though remembering himself, he pulled his hand away and briskly rearranged my clothing before covering me again.

For a long moment he sat, and I knew what he had found simply by watching the emotions swirling around him: joy and terror, hope and despair, longing and regret. I carried a child - his - and...and everything was about to change.

Everything was about to change.

Everything except…

I found I was almost as shaken as he looked. I thought I had been prepared for the possibility, but it seemed I had spent most of my attention preparing for the opposite possibility, trusting that wanting to conceive was enough to settle my feelings about it without further effort.

I...had been wrong. So wrong.

My attention was recalled to the Fade by a stirring among the assembled spirits. "You knew," I said to no one in particular, wondering at how calm my voice sounded.

"We suspected," the spirit who had spoken to me before said, apparently speaking for all of them, or at least those who crowded nearest me. "The flavor of the memories we encountered of you changed - deepened - and were inflected with notes of him. The younger ones who have never walked closely with mortals, the ones from whom the memories originated, put it down to your increasing skill in the Fade, but it wasn't that. It might have been a result of your slow emergence as a mage, and the unique way in which it is occurring - but this was the more likely explanation."

"My...emergence as a mage?" I repeated, thinking that I should likely be more shocked by that revelation than the one which was a possibility I had actively courted - but perhaps I was too overwhelmed to attend properly to any of my emotions. I was already drowning. What was another arm's length of water between me and the air?

The spirit tilted its head, regarding me with mingled amusement and pity. "Yes, da'len. Did you suppose that the Fade-blind feel every spell that touches them?"

I hadn't thought about it - but I had been eased to sleep by spells in the past, and the spirit was right: I hadn't noticed those spells, I had simply gone to sleep. "That hadn't occurred to me," I admitted.

It shook its head, and indicated the Veil. "Now you know. Consider what you might do with the knowledge."

What might I do? My renewed attention pulled me back against the Veil, and I didn't fight it. Solas had taken my hand while I had been distracted, and as I watched he bent to brush a kiss against my cheek. He frowned as he raised his head, and I watched his dissatisfaction grow until it found an abrupt outlet: he took me carefully in his arms and stretched out beside me. "Lanasta em. Sathan," he whispered. "Min ela re emma sasha dys ema na i var'esha'lin."

His only opportunity…? And what of my opportunity to share such a moment with him? Everything was about to change...except this. Us. Our inability to be together. I swallowed against the sting of tears that weren't even real, and thought of something I might do. Spells could be dismantled as well as cast by a mage, and if that was what I was becoming, perhaps I could break free of this one - even if it was Solas who had cast it. I closed my eyes, took a breath, and threw myself across the Veil.

It was sticky and dense, unlike I had ever felt it before, and it tried to hold me in place, but I fought and fought...and slowly became aware of my real body, lying in bed beside Solas. His hand stroked my arm idly and I could smell him. Full consciousness remained just beyond my reach, but with an effort I stirred, pressed myself closer to him, managed to find his hip with my hand, and tilted my head, longing for a kiss.

He sucked in a breath but obliged, pressing his lips to mine as he pulled me against him, and for a moment I let myself think he might remove his spell and let me wake - let me speak - that we might try to understand this revelation and what it meant together. But then his hand slid up my back and I felt it, somehow, heavy with the sleep he meant to lay on me. I made a wordless sound of protest, unable to force my lips to shape anything more nuanced.

"Ir'el abelas, ara'lan," he murmured - and then bound me with his spell, forcing me back across the Veil.

I landed in the shallows on the other side with a cry of frustration. "Solas!" I screamed. "Ma telamaan gelelan!"

Murmuring spirits reached out to soothe and offer comfort as I fairly vibrated with rage, swallowing tears I absolutely refused to shed. "Inana," they urged. "Hartha."

The only thing I wanted less than to watch and listen further was to miss whatever - likely inadequate - defense Solas mustered for what he had just done to me, so I reluctantly allowed the spirits calm me, and returned my attention to the Veil once again.

It didn't seem as though I had missed very much. In the waking world, Solas held me, his face pressed against my shoulder, and continued to do so for many long moments, his agony making the shadows stand out harsh and dark against the white walls and pale bedclothes. When he raised his head at last, I thought his lashes appeared clumped together, as though he had been unable to resist shedding his own tears. Even though I wasn't certain, the thought unwound a considerable portion of my anger, leaving me bleak and sad.

"Will I ever cease to underestimate you?" he asked, his voice a little unsteady. "You were wrong, when you told me that you would enter my world a mage without training. Your will you have already honed to an edge sharp enough to cut down nearly anything in your path. You manipulate the Fade with more confidence than I have seen anyone in this age of the world display, and with increasing skill, too. I knew that Enleal had taken to you, but I hardly expected - "

He stopped and took a breath as I wondered both what he knew of Enleal and how he knew it. "I am certain you heard me tell Cassandra what a fine thing it was for her to attract a spirit of faith to touch her and make her whole once again at the end of the rite she performed. Such spirits are rare, and anyone not a mage must be extraordinary to gain the full attention of any spirit, let alone one such as faith. Spirits of wisdom are no rarer than spirits of faith, but they are a degree more complex, as you are a degree nearer to being a mage than Cassandra is. To attract a spirit of wisdom as you have - for it to choose to mentor you - the feat is at least as extraordinary as that which creates a Seeker, ara'lan."

Along with my tears, I swallowed a desire to yell at him that it didn't matter. His admiration and pride in me - my singularity - none of it had won me the one thing I actually wanted.

And then, of course, I felt ungrateful and selfish. The position I held might be utterly impossible, but I had friends and a great deal of power. It wasn't as though my life prior to the Inquisition had satisfied me. Perhaps I was unreasonably hard to satisfy.

These thoughts flashed through my mind, quick as lightning and nearly as destructive, but Solas was continuing: "You will enter my world not as an apprentice, but as a novice sou'i've'an'thanelan, among the rarest and most respected disciplines of my time. It will take you centuries to achieve mastery such as my people defined it, and you will likely never consider yourself a true master - the Fade holds unimagined depths, and no one has yet found the source from which it springs. But simply being capable of pursuing such a path will earn you a degree of respect among those who wake from their long dreaming. I have little doubt Enleal knows all of this as it guides you, and chooses its advice accordingly." He sighed. "I am forced to be grateful, though I wish…" He trailed off, pressing his face to my shoulder once more.

What did he wish? That he might train me himself, perhaps? Likely. Exploring the Fade together would be -

"I'm so sorry, Silea," he went on before I could find words adequate to encompass my feelings. "I want to hear all your thoughts, but if you were to choose to sound an alarm - I would do whatever proved necessary in order to escape, no matter whom it might hurt. Avoiding that eventuality is, I fear, more important to me than my own desire to speak with you...or your desire to speak with me. It is, however, good to know you are capable enough to force your way free of some less-binding spells, my love. Either your instincts are better than they have any right to be, or Enleal is training you very well indeed."

He fell silent. The emotions that filtered through the Veil told me he was gathering the strength to leave, and I resigned myself to watching him do it. Then I waited.

It took a great deal longer than I expected. Satina made notable progress across the sky as he struggled to let me go. He had my sympathy, of course, but I was still bitter over being trapped in the Fade, where I could only watch from a remove, rather than experiencing his presence myself.

Finally, just before dawn, he kissed my face several times and forced himself upright, turning his back on my still-slumbering form and taking several steadying breaths. "Ar lath ma. Ar...lathan se ga'ta." He sighed, and then snorted a laugh. "Vis nuvenas o'ma'sil'dirth melinen, ahn enastan tel'juen la'var e'sha: Eolas y Eola, i Nehnis y Nehnisa. Raan ea ma enastashen, vis isalas enlethe." Having left me with that information, he got to his feet, squared his shoulders, and headed for the door - only to pause once more at the threshold. "Vis...vis ara'alas'en par sast sileal, juav'ahnal na raja ra."

Then he left.

Tel'sulevan delun: I intend no harm

Lanasta em. Sathan. Min ela re emma sasha dys ema na i var'esha'lin: Forgive me. Please. This may be my only opportunity to hold you and our child.

Ir'el abelas, ara'lan: I am so very sorry, my self/my blood

Ma telamaan gelelan: You disgusting coward

Inana. Hartha: Watch. Listen.

Sou'i've'an'thanelan: Fade mage

Ar lath ma. Ar...lathan se ga'ta: I love you (romantic form). I...love you both (family form).

Vis nuvenas o'ma'sil'dirth melinen, ahn enastan tel'juen la'var e'sha: Eolas y Eola, i Nehnis y Nehnisa: If you want my opinion regarding names, what I like will come as no surprise: Eolas or Eola (knowledge), and Nehnis or Nehnisa (endless joy)

Raan ea ma enastashen, vis isalas enlethe: Those are my favorites, if you need inspiration

Vis...vis ara'alas'en par sast sileal, juav'ahnal na raja ra: If...if my world contains any wisdom, it will beg you to lead it