When people woke up in movies it was always so gentle. Rays of sunlight slowly waking them up to good hair and okay breath and… well something very different than what welcomed me the next morning.

This waking up happened all of the sudden, probably because I had turned around in my sleep and my bruised cheek had touched the pillow beneath me. Immediately I was in pain and wide awake but it took me a second to remember what had happened and what I could do against the pain. Which was basically just getting up, so all a sudden I was sitting up straight in bed, my forehead buried in my hands and my eyes closed to not make the horrible horrible headache that was making it hard to form coherent thoughts worse. I sat there for a while, not moving, not making a sound, only slowly opening my eyes and there it was in front of me: Seoul. All of it. Okay, maybe not all of it. But the view was stunning and it almost took my breath away. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have this view every morning, without even getting out of bed.

Namjoon… Slowly I turned around, to find him still next to me. His arm, which had been around me when we had fallen asleep, had eventually fallen down but was still stretched out towards me on the mattress, which made my heart ache a little. He looked peaceful, just… at home. But then he turned his face a little, probably startled by me jumping up in bed, and I saw the bruise. „Shit." I murmured. His whole right cheekbone was purple. And some of the skin above his eyebrow as well. The cut on his lip must have opened up again at some point during the night because there was some blood on his chin. I watched him for a while, hoping he would still sleep for a little while longer. He had been hurt much worse than me and I already felt like shit. At least - for once - it wasn't the alcohol hurting my head the next morning.

I got up as quietly as possible, sneaking my purse and a few pain killers off the bedside table, before leaving the bedroom. I really just wanted to fall back asleep but knew I wouldn't. Painkillers on an empty stomach probably weren't the best idea, but right now I really didn't care. I downed a whole glass of water and then just walked around the apartment a bit aimlessly. There was a room that looked like a mix between studio, office and collectors shrine, very similar to his studio at Bighit, a guest bedroom and finally I walked into a walk-in closet, which led me to the master bathroom, just to then realize that the hallway between the two was leading back to Namjoon's bedroom. Full circle.

The bathroom was warm and beautiful. And almost a bit too expensive for my taste. Who had a bathroom with a glass door? With an extra toilet cubicle in it…also made of glass? I stood there for a while, sighed, and then just got over myself and peed. Still... a little weird of a choice. Finally, I couldn't avoid it any longer, I searched my purse for that little travel toothbrush and stepped in front of the mirror.

Yeah. It was bad. I didn't look quite as beat up as Namjoon, but my cheekbone definitely looked very similar to his. Which made sense, we had crashed into each other after all. My lips were fine, but my jawline had turned an unpleasant yellow and I couldn't help but sigh at myself. Okay. Just. Brush your teeth. Brush your hair. Drink some more water. It will get better. While brushing my teeth I groggily sat on the side of the huge bathtub and all of a sudden thought about…how I could just get in it. Surely the hot water would help make me feel better. Okay. Maybe I just mainly wanted to. Was that weird? Was it rude? It took me a good five minutes of inner debate before I finally decided to just get in. I let the water run, realizing that Namjoon might sleep for another few hours and… this was too nice of a bathtub. It was a little weird and maybe…yeah, rude, but I knew him well enough to be sure he probably wouldn't mind. Especially not after making sure I looked like I had drunkenly walked into a door last night. I found some body wash that made the bathroom smell like a little spa and ten minutes later I was soaking in the hot water, bubbles around me, rather content and almost forgetting about the pain. Eyes closed I almost didn't realize when Namjoon walked past the glass door, apparently on the lookout where I was, then taking a double-take before he started laughing. Slowly opening the door, while knocking on it. I opened my eyes again and basically immediately blushed. I had been caught... of course I had.

„Seriously?" „I am sorry…I…I thought you'd be out of it for another few hours and… my head hurts." I realized that I probably shouldn't have mentioned that when Namjoons teasing smile disappeared right away, leaving him looking guilty and dropping his shoulders in a sigh. „I…" „Do not apologize. I lied. I just wanted to get in this amazing tub, okay?" I pressed my lips together while crossing my arms in front of my upper body, but he was back to smiling. „Not sure why you think you'd have to lie to me to do that, but okay…" He caught a glance of himself in the mirror and quietly cursed in Korean. „Painkillers are next to the sink." I murmured and Namjoon nodded. „Yeah, just let me get a quick shower before."

And next thing his shirt had come off and I just sat there, blinking. Okay, yeah, I was actually naked myself, but covered in foam and Namjoon just stood there in his briefs and basically looked like a young god. That literally was my first thought. It made me almost feel stupid but damn... the guy had bulked up since I had last seen him naked. It wasn't tooo much, but just so so right. He was about to pull down his underwear when he looked over, noticed me and grinning shook his head. „Eyes up here, Ollie." I blinked again, probably turned even redder and then simply let myself fall back into the water to keep myself from staring. When I emerged again he had gotten into the shower, but I could still hear him laughing. I just smiled, catching a few bubbles in front of me and asked myself how I had gotten here. A question that kept popping back into my head. I had - of course - no real answer. I couldn't even answer where „here" was. Yeah, Namjoon's bathtub, sure. But what was I doing? Were WE doing? How had a few days escalated so quickly where we went from making out a little to celebrating New Year's together to not hooking up because we were too tired to… this. Him humming under the shower while I was having a bath. All very confusing.

Eventually, Joon got out of the shower and I couldn't help but look away until he had a towel around his hip, then grabbed another one from a shelf and walked up to me. „Come on, let's get some breakfast. And ice packs." I nodded and then tried to just get up without thinking about it too much, while he held the towel towards me. He almost had no other choice but to look a little, which made me chuckle. „Eyes up here, Joon." I copied him and Namjoon grinned, making a point to look me directly in the eyes while he wrapped the towel around my body and I stepped out of the tub. I could see his lip quiver, probably because the smiling was hurting his cut lip. „How bad is it?" He shrugged, while I inspected his face. „I hate that I did that to you." He murmured, his hands now on my shoulders, while he took a closer look at my face. „No, don't worry. I had a painkiller and a nice bath. I am all good." Almost true. He didn't believe me really, but I just got on my tiptoes, kissed him on the unbruised cheek and then just pulled him out of the bathroom with me.

He really had bought apple juice to go with breakfast. And there was food in the fridge that surely not Namjoon had prepared. We took our time. Talking. Eating. Laughing. Just everything really slowly, quietly, as if the day had to start in slow-mo because we weren't able to deal with it any other way. „Okay, I think I should head home. I need a nap. Or two." I finally declared when we were sitting on the couch, one of my legs dangling lazily over his knee, me still in a towel, him at least in sweat pants and a shirt now. „Why… just…no." Namjoon replied in an a bit confusing way and I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. One of my feet was in his hands and he had been half-heartedly massaging it for the last couple of minutes, now he stopped. „I don't want you to go yet." That was so honest that it just made me smile. „I have to go eventually…" „Yeah, I am aware of that, I just don't see why you can't nap here?" „Because I like… can't just start a habit where I camp out in one of your various apartments?" He rolled his eyes, pushed his index finger into the underside of my foot, which had me kicking him slightly because I was ticklish. Leaning my head to the side I just looked at him, until Namjoon sighed, then shrugged. „Would that be so bad? Spending some time together before we go back to normal life?" „No…of course not, I just…" Apparently I had started talking before I had any idea what to say, so I stopped, looked outside for a second and then let my head fall back into the pillows. „Do you not want to stay?" „I actually do." „Then… do. Do stay." I actually enjoyed his insistence, even though I was still a bit confused as to what I was agreeing to. Apart from hanging out. „Okay, maybe I can stay until tonight. The headache will be better by then and…" I couldn't finish my sentence because Namjoon had started pulling on my foot, until he had eventually grabbed on to my calve and then had pulled me closer towards him, which had me let out a little gasp, looking at him in a mixture of surprise, amusement, but maybe also a little annoyance. „Oh my god, what has gotten into you this morning?"

But he just gave me the biggest smile. „Nothing. Just. It's the New Year. And maybe it's a bit cliche but I feel like I can see things quite clearly now. So we could hang out apart in our empty apartments. Or do what we really want to do. Or at least… what I really want to do. Spend time together. I wasn't talking about just today. I want you to stay for a bit. Maybe until we go back to work. Just… chill. We can get some work done as well if we feel like it." Now I was looking at him almost in shock. „Who… are you?" I was laughing, yeah, but also a bit confused to where this definitely honest, but somewhat unexpected mindset came from. I had not taken Namjoon for someone to get overly sentimental because of the new year...

But when he moved in even closer, the back of his index finger gently touching my cheek, I could tell he meant it, just by looking into his eyes. „I just want to spend time with you. Like. In the treehouse." I had to take a few deep breaths before I felt like I could at least think half clearly again. A lot of information. Of course I knew what he meant. And the situation right now - us sitting on a couch in front of an incredible view - wasn't too different. But the implied meaning hung heavy between us, maybe not verbalized, but it was there.

„Are you talking about… another test run?" I asked, grinning a little. More eye-rolling from his side. „No. The real deal. I am over test runs. I am actually over calling it test runs, that was never a good idea." „Not sure calling it the real deal is better." „Does it need a word at all?" „Kind of, yes. Especially considering what happened back then." Namjoon sighed but seemed to agree. „Then. I don't know? Call it dating? For a lack of better words? Something where I don't have to pretend whether I don't care whether you leave now or not. Because I don't want you to go. Something where I can tell you that I am… really glad you came to Seoul and that you dumped that stupid boyfriend of yours and that we are talking again and I missed you. A lot."

I couldn't help it, my mouth was slightly open and I just stared at him, his hands still around my leg as if I was about to run away. I wasn't. His words were melting everything in me. Because they were so simple and honest. And because they were chasing away all those stupid thoughts I had had about pretending to want to play all this casual. How could it be? It was a lot. I had missed him, too. I hadn't always wanted to admit it, but apparently, it was true.

„Dating, hm?" I asked and finally, he became a little shy, probably realizing what he had just dropped on me. I took his hands off my leg, but just so I could move in closer, gently kissing his cheek again. If I couldn't kiss his hurt lips, this had to be enough, before I snuggled my face into the crook of his neck. It was clear to me that he didn't want to make a big deal out of all this, that he just wanted to enjoy some time together before our normal busy lives took hold of us again. So I was quiet for a bit before I talked. „Do you think we can pick up some things from my place later? Some books. Some records. My computer. Some fresh underwear?" He started laughing, one arm around me now, both my thighs on his lap. „Yeah. I think we can do that." „Good. I think… I'm gonna go for my nap then." I whispered and got up, him following me into the bedroom. Seconds later I was in his bed again. Opening my arms for him to join me, but Joon just shook his head. „I think I am actually going to try to play around with some music for a bit if that is okay. If my head allows it. I've got Auld Lang Syne stuck in my head ever since around midnight…" I just nodded. „You need anything else?" „Nope. If there is no option to cuddle I guess I'll just have to deal." „Part of the army of stuffed animals from my old room is in the guest bedroom?" He had raised an eyebrow and for a second I debated with myself whether I should play it cool and say no. But then I remembered how brave he had just been and just smiled at him, nodded. „I got… small Ryan, medium Ryan, big Ryan, really big Ryan?" He started giving me options, but I just shook my head, pouting a little, which had him copying me, tilting his head to the side as if questioning why I was refusing Ryan. „I want Koya." I finally murmured and the smile that suddenly appeared on his face had me holding my breath for a second. Namjoon disappeared for a minute before returning with what was probably rather ‚really big Koya'. Proud he handed him to me, smiled at me one last time, then just let me rest. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the big blue koala next to me. But fuck it. I wouldn't be embarrassed about the fact that I was happy about having something to hold on to. And that it made me happy that it, in fact, was the blue koala. And that I was in Joons bed. The thought had me laugh a little, even though I had my eyes closed again. Which then hurt my face. UGHHHH. I needed to sleep.

I woke up two hours later to the sound of rain against the big window front. The headache had mostly stopped, my face still hurt but as long as I didn't move it too much it was bearable. I sat there for a while, looking outside, while the rain mixed with Namjoons music from somewhere on the other side of the flat. When I realized I was still in a towel, I quickly changed into the shirt Namjoon had given me to sleep in, tied my hair up and then slowly walked towards the music. He was in his little studio and the door wasn't shut so I figured I wasn't interrupting anything. Still, I couldn't help knocking on the door while walking through it. He turned around in his chair, smiled at me, opened his arms to make room for me to sit on his lap, which I was more than happy to do. „Feel a little better now?" I nodded against his chest. „You?" „Trying to distract myself. I should probably text makeup so they know what is coming, but I don't have anyone's number…" He was looking through his phone, the other arm around me, absentminded stroking my lower back. Eventually, he gave up and opened the BTS group chat. „Just gonna ask them if one of them has Jiwoo's number." He murmured.

With seven people in the chat there usually was some sort of reply in a matter of minutes. I had noticed that sometimes the chat just would go on forever, but also that they kept it muted to not go insane. „Not helpful…" he murmured after the first replies came in. „What are they saying?" I asked, only able to read single syllables at best. „Wondering why I need her number, joking how I could just ask her out." He said and I grinned. I kinda suspected the group chat to be mostly those kinds of comments. „Might as well show them." He finally said in a sigh, switching to the camera app and I moved out of the frame for a little bit while he took a selfie and then sent it to the other guys. Seconds later there were replies, mainly a ton of emojis from Hoseok. What surprised me was the next comment, all of the sudden in English, which - I realized a few moments later - probably meant it was also directed at me.

Yoongi: [3:09 PM]: Is she beating you up already?

I started chuckling, Namjoon just clicked his tongue.

Jimjim: [3:09 PM]: What? Who is? Tae: [3:10 PM]: Why English? Tae: [3:10 PM]: :O Namjoon: [3:12 PM]: You should see the other guy! Yoongi: [3:14 PM]: Well, yeah, then let's! Show us!

By now I was laughing hard into Joon's shoulder. „I think you are making it worse." Jimin had texted Namjoon the makeup artists phone number privately, but he was stuck on what to reply to the group, laughing himself.

JK: [3:16 PM]: OHHH! I think I understand now. Tae: [3:17 PM]: What Tae: [3:18 PM]: ;( Tae: [3:18 PM]: I don't understand. Jin: [3:20 PM]: Noona doesn't speak Korean… Tae: [3:21 PM]: Noona? Jimjim: [3:22 PM]: Tae…

Joon sighed, then switched back to the camera app. „Do you think I can send them this? It is too late now anyway…" He showed me a picture he must have had taken earlier without me noticing. Me, cuddling into Koya, my blue cheekbone pretty visible. I couldn't help but smile. „Go ahead. But maybe make sure Tae doesn't actually think I am hitting you."

Namjoon: [3:24 PM]: IMAGE Tae: [3:25 PM]: OHHHHHH Jimjim: [3:26 PM]: kkkkkkk Tae: [3:27 PM]: But please no hitting

„Good god." Namjoon said and then started to send them a voice message in Korean explaining what I assumed was our little collision. While I did my best to distract him by kissing his neck. He tried to keep me from doing it, a grin forming in the corner of his mouth, somehow managing to finish his explanation, but there was definitely some of my giggling in the background, which Yoongi only commented on by using the vomit emoji.

„I had almost forgotten how annoying you can be…" „And I had almost forgotten how cute you are…" I responded, which had him raise his eyebrows with an amused smile. Carefully I put my lips on his, no movement because I didn't want to hurt him, but it ended up being Joon who started to deepen the kiss, before hissing in pain and letting go of me again. I sighed and just pushed my hand through his hair. „Really too bad." „Yeah. Would have been the best way to distract ourselves really." „Show me what you were working on instead?" He nodded and moved the mouse in front of him across the music program. „I was just playing around. Sometimes that helps to get rid of a song stuck in your head." The beat was nice, although I wasn't sure a hip hop remix of Auld Lang Syne was my favourite version of the song, he seemed to have had fun.

Towards the evening I took a cab to pick up some things from my flat. I tried to pack lightly but since I didn't know exactly how long I would be staying and I wanted to bring some things to occupy my time to not just be glued to Namjoons side, I ended up packing a small suitcase, which Joon only commented on with a nod when I got back. He had ordered food and we tried to watch a movie but halfway through we gave up. We were both still pretty exhausted, the headache was coming back.

Not being able to kiss him was actually quite hard when we for once had all the time in the world, but lying next to him in bed in the half-dark, carefully tracing the line of his nose with my finger, while he was gently caressing my stomach before he tried to catch my hand with his mouth... I was happy.