„Just be honest. I can tell you are happy. But… in general or because of him?"
If anyone else aside from Lauren had asked me that question I would have maybe just given a quick „No, it's not just him. I like it here, it is great." response, but even when we weren't talking in person I had never been able to lie to Lauren. And it wasn't like that short answer would have been a lie, but because it was her I at least sat there for a second and thought about it. My laptop was next to me on the couch and I was lying in front of it on my stomach. I was picking some fluff from a cushion, then cleared my throat. „Look. I'm not going to lie. Right now… yes, he is the reason I am so happy. I know that sounds maybe a little naive, but… I just really like him. Again. Or maybe still. I don't know. But that doesn't mean the rest of my life here doesn't make me happy. Seoul is crazy and amazing. And work isn't what I am used to at all but challenging and creative. And I have met some nice people at work, Georgia especially is really cool and the new girl Soo-mi seems nice as well." Lauren listened, nodded. „Okay, good. It's just… everything seems to be connected to Joon. You work together, the people you hang out with are either his best friends or people who work for Bighit. I am just a little worried about it, is that okay?"
I took a deep breath. She was right. At least to be a little concerned, I probably would have been as well. But it was hard to see these things as a problem when every day seemed so good. Even missing Namjoon now that he wasn't around was in the grand scheme of things a good feeling. Mad. When he texted my heart jumped. And it really was only a couple of days. It had made me realize how very different this situation was to the one all those years ago.
„Do you think I am making a mistake? I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do but if you feel like that I would like to at least know now." Now it was Lauren's turn to be quiet for a second, but then she smiled and shook her head. „People make mistakes. And Namjoon's really put… both of us really… through quiet something, but… I think things are different now. And I already texted him yesterday that I would kill him if he does anything stupid again. I think he is a little afraid of me now, but that is okay." I couldn't help chuckling. "When is he coming back?" "Tomorrow night. And then rehearsals properly start again for the year. And then we go on tour. Oh my god, I can't believe we are going on tour. Their... well, our schedule is worse than I imagined. But at least I get to sit in front of a computer or camera for most of it and don't have to dance, I can't even imagine." "I kind of would like to see that. Have they ever seen you dance? You are...horrible." "I know. But what I lack in dancing most of the guys lacks in basic daily live skills so they know better not to say anything." "You should buy a first aid kit for your place. Just in case." "Actually really should."
Whenever I got to talk to Lauren it was at weird times of the day, but for once today it was the middle of the night for her, not me. So after we said our goodbyes I went straight back to work, this had only been my lunch break. I had worked from home that day, writing scripts had always been easier on a couch than at a desk. It also meant I had never changed out of my PJs, my hair a mess of a bun on my head and my body aching a bit, begging for a walk when at the same time I enjoyed the feeling of hanging out at home alone so much that I decided against it. At least I forced myself to do the dishes and tidy a little after I had closed my laptop for the day. A load of laundry in the washing machine, I opened myself a bottle of wine and was about to order some take out. Looking outside the window I couldn't even pretend that I regretted the decision to stay in all day, it had gotten so cold again that ice crystals were forming outside of the window even though it wasn't even properly dark yet.
When Namjoon called it surprised me a little. We had only texted over the last couple of days because we had both been busy with work, but also because we both knew it would only make the wait harder. Pining for someone because you were separated for less than a week was a luxury problem and we both knew that.
"Heyyy..." I answered, plopping back on the couch and ready to flip through a take out menu - which luckily had pictures. "Hello. What are you up to?" "Not much to be honest. Just finished work. I think I will watch some bad bad reality tv now that you aren't around." "Oh wow. But sounds about right. The weather... man, it's so cold." "I know. Thank god the heating works this time and... wait. Are you checking the Seoul weather forecast before you call me now? What is the weather like in Tokyo?" "No idea. That is not where I am." I heard a grin in his voice. "Whe... What? Where are you then?" I had thrown the menu to the side and sat up, kind of guessing I knew the answer already, my body immediately filled with hope but also panic. "Two blocks from your place..." "Joon! How?" "Came back a day early. We were done for the day but the flight was tomorrow so... hope it is okay if I come by?" Now I was standing. "Of course... it's just..." "What is your apartment code?" "2287" "Okay, I see you in a bit."
Shit. I spent the next five minutes finishing up tidying. But by the time the door played a little cheery melody to signal that it was unlocking, I was still pushing unfolded towels into my bedroom wardrobe. No clue why it was so important to me, especially considering that Joon himself would have considered the current state of my apartment to be especially clean... I just had not been prepared. "Heeeello?" I heard his voice echoing through the living room and so I walked back in.
He looked like he had just stepped out of a photoshoot. Which coming to think of it was probably what had happened. I couldn't help looking him up and down and then very quickly down my own body. Oh. Amazing. Oversized sweat pants. A crop top with a design on it that was so old part of the image had come off in the wash over time. I didn't even want to think about what my hair looked like, I hadn't touched it since I had put it up last night after a shower. A "So. not. fair." escaped my lips before I hid my face behind my hands for a second, while Namjoon dropped his bag and winter coat in a corner and stepped towards me. "That is a... nice... welcome." He said grinning and gently pulled the hands away from my face. I was actually blushing a little. "Why... why are you dressed like a model surprising someone? Really not fair, If I had known..." But I couldn't finish my sentence because chuckling he had already leaned down and kissed me, his arms around my naked waist. I got goosebumps almost right away because his hands were so cold and he quickly let go when he noticed, but stayed close, smiling at me. "I can come back later if you want to... wear a suit as well?" I just growled in response and pulled him down again, kissing him some more. Had it really only been four days? Well, no, it had been longer, I only now realized - at least the kissing part, stupid bruises! - and let go again to inspect his lip. "All healed." he murmured, sounding almost a little proud. One could still see the bruise on his cheek through what I assumed was makeup, my own one was still there as well. But at least the cut on his lip seemed to have gotten better to a point where it was hard to make out if you didn't know about it.
Soon we were kissing again when Namjoon smiled against my lips and suddenly his cold hands were on my back again, under my shirt, I jumped and let out a little squeal, pushing him away. Only to get closer to him again while Joon was laughing into my hair. "I missed you". His voice was muffled, but I heard it and I couldn't help closing my eyes for a second. "I missed you too. Oh... wait. I know that one. Bogoshipda!" Namjoon had wrapped his arms around me, smiling down. "Almost... Wrong tense." "Ugh. Tenses. Who needs tenses." "Do you miss me right now?" "Hm, no. So... I missed you means?" "Bogo sipeosseo." I repeated what he said, but I couldn't even try to pretend I understood how it was formed... Korean was so hard, man!
Namjoon was still smiling, apparently entertained by watching me think. At some point I gave up, got on tiptoes to kiss him again instead and he didn't seem to particularly mind. „Do you want to get some food?" „Not really. I'd rather make out on your couch." I chuckled and pulled him with me across the room, then on top of me. The music that was still blaring in the background was cheery, making us laugh at times, it felt a little like making out with your first love while your parents were out of the house. Maybe also because Namjoon couldn't keep his hands from slipping under my shirt after he had realized that I wasn't wearing anything underneath, but wouldn't quite go where he wanted to, I could tell. So eventually I copied him, moving my own hand under his shirt, across his stomach, which made him shudder and me feel incredibly warm all of the sudden. When I pulled the hem of his shirt up, our noses and lips were touching. „Do you think you can help me with that?" With a smile in the corner of his mouth he got up a little to take his shirt off, but when he kissed me again and I thought I would be next, I felt his hands move behind my back and soon my ass as well, seconds later he had lifted me while getting up. Laughing I held on to him while he carried me through the room. „Changed your mind? No couch?" Grinning he shook his head before kissing me deeply, making it through my bedroom door and onto my bed without any Namjoon-esque accidents. Seconds later I had lost my shirt and he was hovering above me, looking at me in a way that made me feel almost nervous. „You are so beautiful." I heard him whisper and somehow my first urge was to argue how he could say that when he was so much more beautiful, but instead my fingertips touched his cheek, his dimples, slightly shaking. „So are you."
When he kissed me again, when we moved together, it was almost as if no time had passed. It felt familiar, a blur of clothes beings stripped off and skin against skin that made my nervousness go away, being replaced by excitement. Namjoon groaned when his groin touched the by now pretty wet fabric of my underwear, my fingers digging into his shoulders. „I've waited so long for this." He whispered with a shaky voice between kisses and I didn't want to talk but couldn't help responding. „It's only been a couple of days, Joon." „No. Longer" I looked at him for a second. Hair in all directions, his lips a little swollen and red. A glorious mess that had just told me what I had known myself to be true. „No more waiting." I murmured against his lips.
When I lay next to him later my heart rate just wouldn't go down. I felt almost a little dizzy. His hand was still between my legs, desperate to make my orgasm last as long as possible and boy had he delivered. But eventually I had to pull his arm away because it was just getting too much. Instead, I moved over to him, lying on his side, hugging him tightly. „We are still really good at this." I murmured into his ear, breaking the tension a little, which had him chuckling only to then agree. „You can stay the night, right?" I asked and Namjoon nodded immediately. „The others won't get back until noon tomorrow and then we have that meeting." I nodded as well. Tour prep meeting with almost everyone involved. Quiet a big deal. Also, something that seemed so distant and unimportant right now that my ears were ringing and his skin was nice and warm against mine. We just lay there for a good while before I started moving again. "I think I am going to take a shower." "Alone?" "Not necessarily..." "I'll carry you if you let me come..." I couldn't help but grin. "Deal."