Chapter 10: For The Best

The weather teeters on the edge of summer and fall, still warm enough to sit outside and enjoy the fresh air, but cool enough that it has a crisp edge to it. The leaves on Air Temple Island are just about to turn, and Sokka finds himself wrapping his arms a little tighter around himself as a particularly chilly breeze hits his skin. The city across the bay looks motionless from this distance, but Sokka knows it well enough to know that underneath the peaceful skyline lies a city full of life, in all its forms. Lives full of love and hate, sex and fights, joy and pain, births and deaths. So much happening all under one roof.

Here, on Air Temple Island, one can almost pretend that the peaceful skyline is just that. A peaceful, simple shell - full of promise and full of possibilities. But, Sokka knows better. He loves Republic City, but just as life tends to do, the city has only gotten more complicated with age.

At least he's getting a welcome distraction from the bustling city - and his current woes - by spending some time on the island. Lately, he's been making more of an effort to visit his sister and brother-in-law (he's had more time on his hands recently, with a certain earthbender not around). Currently, Aang and Katara sit across from him at the patio table, Kya giggling happily in her mother's lap. Bumi is playing somewhere nearby, probably getting mud all over him and Appa. That kid has turned out to be quite the handful, despite not being a bender, but Sokka's fondness for the boy has only grown with time.

But, that's not what he's thinking about right now.

He keeps his head turned towards the bay, deep in thought. Aang and Katara are talking about something or other, but Sokka interrupts, pensively, "Do you guys think Toph is okay?"

He tries to ignore the exasperated sighs that both Aang and Katara let out at his expense. Katara bounces Kya in her lap, the one-year-old pulling on her mom's hair loopies as a frustrated Katara laments, "Sokka, how many times are we going to go over this?"

"I know, I know." Sokka concedes, putting his hands up, "It's just, she's been gone nearly six weeks now. No one's heard from her since she left. Aren't you guys even a little worried?"

Aang takes the baby from Katara, giving the mother a bit of reprieve. He has no hair loopies, of course, but his daughter starts to tug on his short beard as Aang patiently reassures his friend, "Stop worrying so much, Sokka. This is Toph we're talking about. I'm sure she's perfectly fine."

Even so, Sokka's forehead creases with concern, "Okay, but it's not like her to just disappear."

"She didn't just disappear, Sokka," Katara points out, not sounding nearly as patient as her husband, "She took an extended vacation. Two very different things. If she wanted you to worry, she wouldn't have left a message with her lieutenant specifically saying not to worry."

Unconvinced, "I guess, but why didn't she tell us? We're like family, and we don't even know how long she's going to be gone for, or where she went in the first place! How could she just leave without telling us?"

Katara sighs again, but softens her voice, "I know Sokka, but are you that surprised? Toph has always been one to just do her own thing, and I'm sure she'll be back soon. I miss her too, but spirits know she needed a vacation. Can you blame her for taking one?"

Sokka slumps in his seat, another look of contemplation crossing his features, "I guess not."

He can't help the flash of Toph's skin that crosses his mind - her cute little freckle above her left nipple as his lips latch around it. Heat flushes to his cheeks at the memory, and he squirms in his seat, hoping Aang and Katara don't notice.

Another memory flashes, this time of her sleeping figure, naked under the sheets as Sokka takes one last look before leaving her, after their night together. Her hair had been slightly tangled and messy, haphazardly strewn across her pillowcase with her head dipped to the side. Even so, she had looked so peaceful, and Sokka had nearly been entranced back into bed by the steady rise and fall of her chest. But instead, shamefully, he made sure to keep extra quiet as he found his clothes (which had been thrown wildly throughout her apartment), dressed himself and slipped out her front door.

It's the last time he saw her, and the picture has been playing in his head - on repeat - every day since. It's a bittersweet reminder of the night they shared, and then the morning that he ruined it. It can't be a coincidence that she suddenly decided to use up all her accumulated vacation days, right after their night together.

No, she was running away. Why? Because of him?

After their night, he had been drowning so fast in his feelings, he selfishly didn't consider how Toph might feel waking up in the morning, all alone. Did she feel used? Or was she glad she didn't have to turn him away herself? Was she also drowning in feelings? Why else would she have left so suddenly? Did he hurt her?

That's the thought that scares him the most. He was so scared of his own pain, that he never considered how leaving might affect Toph. Well, he eventually considered her feelings …about half a day after he left…but by then she was already gone. Running away.

But then again, hadn't he run away first?

Of course, Aang and Katara don't know any of this, so they just assume Toph went for an impulsive vacation. The note she left with her lieutenant gave no indication that anything was amiss, but Sokka knows Toph better than anyone. And he knows that leaving her that morning was a mistake, one that's going to cost him. It already has. Six weeks without Toph is the longest he's gone without seeing her since they were teenagers, and he feels her absence in the constant pit of anxiety that lives in his gut. Where is she? Is she okay? And more than anything, he just misses her. He misses their nights out, eating greasy food and getting drunk together, keeping up on the latest underground bending tournaments. He misses working together, laughing together, helping each other live their complicated lives in a complicated city together.

"Sokka?" Katara starts.

Sokka shakes himself out of his thoughts, looking across the table at his sister and Aang, "What?"

Katara raises a skeptical brow, "You're brooding again."

Sighing, "Sorry, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind is all."

Pursing her lips, "You know, ever since Toph left, all you do is brood." Katara's impatience returns, "Anytime someone mentions her name, you tense up."

Aang nods at her side, agreeing, "It's true, Sokka. You do seem especially down. I know you care about Toph, but you know she can handle herself. Why are you so worried? Did you have a fight or something before she left?"

Sokka tenses in his seat, their scrutinizing expressions making the back of his neck itch. Yes, of course he's worried about, Toph. They would be too if they knew why she probably left Republic City in such a hurry. But they don't. They don't know that, "Toph and I slept together."

Both Aang and Katara, "What!?"

Shit, did I say that out loud? I have got to stop doing that.

But the word vomit is already out, and now Sokka finds himself unable to control it.

Talking at about a mile a minute, "Toph and I went out on a double date but then our dates ditched us and we got into a huge fight but we started kissing and then we stopped because we realized we shouldn't and then we started talking again and I got caught up in the moment and I kissed her again but this time she didn't stop me so we slept together and it was great but then I freaked out and left in the morning without saying anything and then that's the day she left for her vacation so I think she left because of me."

Sokka finishes by taking in a deep gulp of air, feeling like he said all of that in one breath. Katara and Aang looked perplexed, unsure what to say. Kya laughs softly in her father's arms, unaware of the strained air between the three adults.

Aang, still in shock, "Come again? I'm not sure I caught all that."

Beside him, Katara scoots her patio chair a few inches closer to her brother, the metal of the chair scraping unpleasantly against the stone ground. Both Aang and Sokka wince at the sound, but Katara ignores it. She leans towards her brother with investigation, a scrutinizing look on her face, "I think I got it, but I want to make sure. Let me see if I heard correctly."

Sokka gulps, detecting the ire in his sister's voice. She holds her chin with false consideration, "So you and Toph went out on a double date that – let me guess - resulted in you two idiots getting jealous, which then ended up in you guys getting into a fight. Which, again - only guessing here - was really just you guys trying to hide from your unresolved sexual tension. And then, surprise surprise, you guys hooked up?"

Sokka narrows his expression at his sister's sarcastic tone (and her unsolicited, extra bits of information), but nods anyway, "Correct."

"And then you left?" Aang pipes in, wearing his own admonishing look.

Voice laced with guilt, "Yes. I left."

Katara, frustrated, "Sokka, you're an idiot."

Sokka narrows his eyes again, defensively, "Hey, you're the one who said I should figure out my feelings for Toph!"

Aang scratches his head with his free hand, "Wait a minute. Since when did you have feelings for Toph? Does Toph have feelings for you? How did I miss that? Katara, how long have you known?" turning accusatory, "And why didn't you tell me? I told you when I found out about Zuko and Toph!"

Sokka tries to quell the irritation in his gut at the reminder of Toph and Zuko's quick little half-fling. It seems no matter how many years pass, that irritation is never going to disappear completely.

"Aang, sweetie, keep up." Katara places a placating hand on her husband's shoulder, "I thought it was obvious. I mean, even Zuko knows." Aang only nods his head slowly in response, but he still looks positively confused. Even Sokka is befuddled by this information. Zuko knows? Since when?

His confusion is interrupted when Katara turns angrily back towards him, slapping him across the arm, "And I told you to figure out your feelings! I didn't say to hop into bed with Toph and then panic like a skittish, slivering hogmonkey!"

"Hey, I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

Katara sits back with her arms crossed, unimpressed, "An accident? Oh, so you just 'accidentally' had sex with one of our closest friends and then left her hanging? Seriously, Sokka?"

Sokka lets a frustrated sigh cross his lips, placing his head in his hands, his elbows on the table, "Ugh, what I mean is…we just got caught up in the moment. I didn't intend to leave her afterwards, but I panicked. It was all just too real."

Katara remains skeptical, but softens her voice, "Too 'real'? What do you mean?"

"Well, I had wanted her for so long, but I thought it was just….I don't know, attraction I guess? But in the moment, I realized it was more than that," Sokka's tone is hesitant, as if he's saying a 'bad' word, "I realized there were actual feelings involved, and it just got too confusing. It freaked me out, okay? So I left."

Sokka looks out towards the water again, "But now, I don't know how to feel. I wanted to talk to her afterwards, and I went to her place the next day, but she was already gone. I've had all this time to think, but I'm still so confused. I still want her, but I don't want to break what we have. I left because I didn't want to risk losing her. But now she's gone anyway. Because of me."

Katara and Aang exchange a look, concern in their features, but not really knowing what to say. The trio sit in heavy silence for a few moments, the only noise being the sounds of Appa munching on hay nearby and Bumi playing with Sokka's boomerang in the background. Kya has fallen asleep on her father's shoulder, and Aang, who's remained quiet for most of the conversation, chimes in, gently, "Can you do me a favor, Sokka?"

Sokka, turning towards his friend, "What?"

Aang treads carefully, "I know your confused, but next time you see Toph, please, don't dive into anything without figuring out your feelings first. You have to make sure it's one-hundred percent what you want, beyond any doubt. You have to make sure you're committed."

Sokka swallows a lump, caught off-guard by Aang's serious demeanor, "What are you saying?"

"Well, if Toph did leave because of what happened between you two, that means she's clearly confused about her own feelings. We all admire Toph, but you and I both know she can be a little unsure of herself when it comes to the 'mushy' stuff, as she would call it. I'd hate to see either one of you get hurt," Aang raises a pointed brow at him, "But you can't just treat her like one of your little one-night lady friends."

Sokka lowers his voice, remaining serious, "I would never do that to Toph."

This time, Katara chimes in, albeit gently, "I hate to break it to you, brother, but it sounds like you already did."

Sokka swallows another lump, hating how true his sister's words are. He also hates how true Aang's advice is…He's come to terms with the fact that his feelings for Toph run deeper than just attraction, but is Sokka ready to commit to those feelings? Is he ready to drown in them? And what about Toph? What does she want? It's a question Sokka regrets not sticking around to ask after their night together. But maybe, her running away was enough of an answer?

Sokka props his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. Dejectedly, "I just wish I could talk to her."

Katara and Aang exchange another strange look, one that Sokka doesn't have the chance to ask about. Aang points behind Sokka's shoulder, "Well, it looks like you'll have your chance sooner rather than later."

Confused, "Huh?"

"Hey guys!"

Sokka turns suddenly in his seat at the bright sound coming from behind him, just a few yards away, and there she is.

"Toph!" Sokka bolts out of his seat, running on autopilot to close the short distance between them. He flings his arms around her, lifting her up off the ground in a bone-crushing hug that leaves both of them breathless. Sokka's head rests in the crook of Toph's neck, her arms awkwardly constrained in his bear-like grasp. Whispering in her ear, but more to himself than to her, "You're back, Chief."

"Okay, Sokka!" Voice strained as Sokka's arms tighten around her torso, "You're…crushing me. You can put me down now."

Sokka puts her down, albeit reluctantly, and places his hands on her shoulders instead, needing to keep contact. He takes a second to look her over, eyes scanning over her face and figure has he tries to process her sudden appearance. She looks normal and healthy, wearing casual street clothes and hair up in her signature bun. Nothing out of the ordinary. She's here. She's alive.

Sokka breathes a sigh of relief, but his voice quickly turns accusatory, "Toph! Where have you been!? I've been worried sick about you. You just left without saying anything!"

Toph narrows her brows, making a pointed remark, "Yeah, it sucks when people just leave you hanging, doesn't it?"

Sokka blushes at her (rightful) accusation. Clearly, she hasn't forgotten about their night together either…or how he left so abruptly. Yup…that was definitely going to cost him.

Sokka lowers his hands from her shoulders, his tone apologetic, "Toph, I-"

"Relax, Sokka, I'm only teasing," Toph sounds a lot more cheerful than Sokka might have expected. However, the familiar punch she lands on his arm lacks its usual gusto, "And I'm fine. I just went to visit my parents in Gaoling, that's all."

Aang pipes in cheerfully from behind him, "See, Sokka, I told you she was fine!"

Sokka can't help but send a glare over his shoulder before turning his attention back to Toph, "Okay, but you were gone for a whole six weeks. You couldn't have sent a letter or something?"

Toph raises a skeptical brow, her hand on her hip, "Sokka. I'm blind, remember? Not much of a writer here."

"Oh, you know what I mean! You could have had one of your parents or one of their servants do it! I've been worried sick!" he repeats, "It's not like you to just disappear. And after our night-"

"Okay, calm down, Mr. Worry Wart!" Sokka doesn't miss the blush under her bangs, "I'm fine. I was a bit too busy to send letters anyway. I only stayed in Gaoling for a few days, but my father asked me to resume some of my executive partner duties at Earthen Fire, so I was travelling a bunch to the refineries. Not much of a vacation, really."

Now it's Sokka's turn to look skeptical, "You were on a work trip?"

"Yup." Toph accentuates the 'p', her tone indifferent, "I actually visited the Southern Water Tribe on my tour. Your dad says hi, by the way."

Sokka looks at her with an incredulous expression, the words taking a second to process, "You went all the way to the Southern Water Tribe? Without me?" It's strange to think of Toph walking around the icy streets of his home village, without him even aware of it until now. It's like finding out someone's been sleeping in your bed while you were away from home. Not that he would mind Toph sleeping in his bed.

"Yeah, and it was just as cold as the last time I was there," she crosses her arms, dryly, "I don't understand why you Water Tribe folk like it so much. Sea prunes are the worst." She wrinkles her face in distaste, and Sokka suddenly feels a lot more at ease. She's really back.

"Well," Sokka says, affectionately, "It's good to see you, Toph. We missed you."

She huffs a hair, a familiar trace of sarcasm in her voice, "Yeah yeah, I know. Republic City can't survive without me. But I'm back. Out of vacation days too." She mumbles that last part to herself, her tone somewhat resentful.

Sokka chuckles at her sour attitude. Spirits I missed her. "Well, that's true. I'm sure everyone back at the station will be glad that you're back. But…" He pauses, his voice losing its humor, "I'm glad your back, Chief. I missed you."

She bites her lip, and Sokka ignores the familiar urge to focus on the gesture. "It's good to be back," now it's Toph who swallows the lump in her throat, "I missed you too. All of you guys, that is." She quickly corrects, side stepping Sokka to greet her other friends. She makes a move to walk towards them, but Sokka grabs her arm, gently.

"Wait. We need to talk."

Toph hesitates for a moment, her back turned to Sokka, before grumbling, "Fine. Let's talk then."

Aang and Katara watch the exchange with strange looks on their faces, but don't say anything as Sokka leads Toph towards the gazebo, out of earshot from the others (though Sokka knows Aang and Katara will somehow find a way to eavesdrop).

Once inside, there's another moment of charged silence that hovers between the pair. Toph gnaws on her thumbnail as Sokka leans back on the rail, chewing the inside of his cheek. The last time they were together, they had never been closer – physically that is – their bodies touching in the most intimate of ways. Now, there's a good five feet between them as they stand on opposite ends of the gazebo, and Sokka feels every inch of it.

It's Toph who eventually breaks the silence. Impatiently, "You wanted to talk, so talk."

Sokka closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he mentally prepares himself for the inevitable discomfort of the conversation, "Did you leave because of what happened between us? Because of me?"

Toph narrows her unseeing eyes, leaning against one of the gazebo's columns, "Pfft, get over yourself, Sokka. Not everything is about you."

Narrowing his own eyes, unconvinced, "I'm just saying. You haven't taken a proper vacation in years, but the day after we sleep together, you suddenly vanish. The timing is just a bit funny, is all."

"Whatever. I just needed some time to think." Toph admits, though irritation still laces her tone.

"Well," Sokka's heart races, suddenly nervous, "What do you think? About our night, I mean."

Toph is quiet for what seems like ages, but Sokka gives her space to think. She bites her lips in contemplation, her expression pensive. She wraps her arms around herself, and if she wasn't blind, Sokka might have thought she was staring out at the bay, hoping to find the answers in the glint of the sun on the water. After a few moments, he thinks she's just not going to answer the question. And she doesn't.

Instead, she takes the few steps until she's standing next to Sokka, hands placed on the rail. She turns her cheek towards him, head down and her voice low, "You know, not for nothing, Sokka, but you were the one who kissed me."

He pauses, considering his next words, "I know. And I'm sorry."

Toph huffs out a hair, dismissively, "Good."

"Well, I'm not sorry," Sokka corrects himself, "I don't think it's a secret that it's something I wanted – and I hope we both wanted – for some time."

Toph sounds angry when she responds, but Sokka picks up on the hurt beneath her tone, "And it was that bad that you had to leave – I get it."

Sokka steps forward a foot closer to Toph, and he tries to ignore the ache in his chest as Toph reflexively moves away from his advances, "What, no! Toph…That's not it at all. It was – you were incredible."

Toph remains silent, her face unreadable. She must know that he's not lying. Sokka gulps, his palms growing sweaty.

Continuing, "I'm only sorry because leaving before you woke up was a jerk move. I was the jerkiest of jerks," Sokka hangs his head down, voice earnest, but not quite sure how to put how he feels into words, "Toph…you mean so much to me. You're my best friend. I need you.

"And I can't stand the thought that I hurt you past the point of being friends. I can't stand the thought that you might hate me, and that I caused you enough pain that you had to leave."

Toph rolls her eyes, but her tone is genuine, "Dammit, Sokka. I already told you, remember? I could never hate you." Timidly, she adds, "I... I need you too."

Hope wells in his chest, and for one quick moment that drowning feeling returns. But it's that good drowning. He's missed her so much, and now she's back, and to hell if he's not going to make up for lost time. He tries to ignore Aang's voice echoing in his head. You have to make sure it's one-hundred percent what you want, beyond any doubt. Make sure you're committed. Well, he definitely wants her, at least. He takes a step forward, eager to touch her again, but her voice stops him.

"But," the hope dissipates, "Our night together was a mistake."

He blinks, confused, "A mistake?"

"Yes. We're friends, Sokka. We shouldn't have let ourselves get carried away like that."

Another blink, "Friends?"

"Yes, Sokka. Friends. Not that I didn't have…fun, with you. But sex… Well, sex just complicates things. I know I once said that friends fool around sometimes…but that was stupid, okay? I think it's best that we forget what happened between us."

"You want to forget?"

Toph nods, decisively, "Yes. For both our sakes, let's just pretend it never happened and go back to how we were before, okay?"

But what if I don't want to forget? He doesn't say it, but he feels it. And he knows she must feel it too.

Instead, he relents, "If that's what you want."

She turns to face him. "That's what I want. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

She sticks out her hand to shake his, and Sokka looks at the gesture as if it were a foreign object. After a few moments, he takes it, feeling strange as their hands agree to stay friends.

Without another word, Toph turns to walk back to Katara and Aang. Her body stays rigid as she feels a dejected Sokka trail behind her. Spirits, that conversation was more painful than she thought it would be…But, it's for the best.

Her mind flashes to a few weeks prior. She remembers feeling both numbingly cold and annoyingly sweaty at the same time, her fur-lined coat trapping in heat while the freezing air chilled her cheeks. As much as she loves Sokka and Katara, she's not quite sure how she feels about their hometown. She had to wear boots to keep her toes from freezing off, and her feet couldn't see a thing during her stay in the Southern Water Tribe.

Still, she remembers getting along quite well with Hakoda. At that point, she hadn't seen Sokka for a solid three weeks, and Hakoda's warm, kind energy had been a bittersweet reminder of the man and the feelings she was trying to escape from. She could see where Sokka got his slapstick humour from, and his clever ingenuity.

She also recalls the way her heart fluttered as she said her farewells to the village, Hakoda shaking her hand and saying, "I can see why my son likes you so much." She hadn't known how to respond, and if her cheeks hadn't already been flushed from the cold, they would have been from that.

She remembers feeling caught off guard when Hakoda turned that handshake into a hug, saying goodbye like she was more than just a business partner or his kids' friend. Saying goodbye like she was family. Though, she supposed she shouldn't be that surprised. The Water Tribe people dealt with the coldness of their habitat with the warmness of their spirits. And again, it reminded her of Sokka.

"Take care of each other. And please tell my kids that I miss them."

"Will do," she had said, unsure to which request she meant to follow up on.

She hadn't been lying about her travels over the past six weeks. Working as a partner for Earthen Fire Industries has certainly kept her mind preoccupied most of the time, but she'd be lying if she didn't say the reason she left was indeed to figure out her feelings for Sokka. Or rather, to leave them behind.

When he left after their night together…well, it hurt more than she would like to admit. Not because it was a jerk move on his part (and it was a jerk move), but because she should have known better. Maybe Sokka does like her...maybe she hadn't been just another woman on his 'get over Suki' parade. His erratic heartbeat around her certainly suggests so. And no…she hadn't just imagined it.

But, it doesn't matter. Even if he does have feelings for her, how long will it be before he realizes he's made a mistake? What happens when he realizes that Toph is not nearly as graceful or feminine as Suki, or as kind and sultry as Rini and all the other girls he's dated? What happens then? Well, she can't risk finding that out. She can't risk that kind of rejection, not from him.

Keeping things friendly between her and Sokka might be painful, but it's not as painful as losing him would be.

It's for the best.

AN

Wowza! Didn't expect to get another chapter up that fast, but alas, my schoolwork still sits unfinished, waiting patiently to be done as I procrastinate by writing fanfiction. Peak anxiety of the semester! Oh well!

I know this chapter wasn't as exciting as some of the others, but I had to address what happened after their night together before moving on. Was it a bit dramatic of Toph to run away? Perhaps...then again, she ended up running away to live out the rest of her days in a fricken swamp, seemingly without telling anyone, so perhaps not.

Thank you everyone for reading and for your continued support through comments and kudos! Much appreciated, and comments are especially uplifting during these crazy, stressful times, so thanks a million!