Disclaimer: Still don't own it.
In trying to capture Xander's likely thoughts, given his status as a fairly clueless about these things, if usually well-intentioned (to my mind) young man from the late 90s and early 2000s, I am using phrasing and terminology, as well as attitudes, that I don't entirely approve of (or at all) IRL. Or that just aren't the accepted way of discussing these things anymore.
There is a plan for this story, but it's going to move at its own pace in the process.
Thanks to Oxnate, for beta-reading
This Year's Boy
By Kylia
Chapter 3: Getting To Know Me
February 23, 2000
Streets of Sunnydale
Xander found, as he followed Buffy out of the warehouse and onto the Sunnydale streets, that if he didn't think too hard about his walking, it was easier. Of course, that wasn't so easy given how different he felt, how different everything felt. He was shorter, which also made everything weird - though still taller than Buffy, even if only by a tiny bit. Not that that was hard. Everyone was taller than Buffy.
"Okay, so - hopefully, Faith will come for you and, knowing that she's not me, you can knock her out and then Willow and Giles can figure out how to put me back in my body," Xander said, between hesitant steps before he tried to force himself to take a breath and - again - stop thinking about it.
"Just," he added, after a moment, "Don't hit her too hard, okay? Not while she's in my body."
Buffy looked back and smiled, "I'll do my best." There was a payphone near the warehouse, so it wasn't a long walk to that. "The faster we get Willow working on a spell to switch your bodies back, the better, so let's have her meet us at Giles' place."
"Faster is better," Xander agreed, stumbling a moment, but managing to stay on both feet despite some ungainly near-falls. Fuck, how does anyone walk like this? He could only thank the Baby Jesus that Faith wasn't wearing anything with heels - not that he recalled her ever really doing that, but he hadn't exactly paid much attention to Faith's shoes, most of the time.
But if she had been wearing heels, he'd probably have broken his nose by now.
And Anya would probably be making some sort of comment about the oppressive patriarchal structures forcing women to wear such awful shoes just to hobble women, or something like that. Xander couldn't help the soft smile at imagining his girlfriend's reaction to him failing to walk around in heels - she sometimes went a little too far on hating men in general, but he liked her passion, when she got really heated about it, and it's not like he wasn't forced to admit she often had a point. And he didn't always say that just to avoid an argument. Sometimes, true, but... she had a point.
Of course, thinking about Anya reminded him of her favorite activity, as it inevitably did - sex.
And how now... he...
Fuck.
Anya liked sex. A lot. And those few nights when he didn't feel up to it, which did happen, she was never happy about it, though she mostly respected his wishes on that front. But she liked to have sex basically every night. And unless he got this sorted out and his body back tonight...
Fuck.
How was his girlfriend going to react? This was temporary - it had better be, anyway - but how long to undo and fix it? Knowing his girlfriend, and given how much work she'd put into teaching him the best way to bring her off with his tongue - and never had Xander had such enjoyable lessons in anything - she might just have him give her orgasms that way. She might even say as much in front of everyone else.
Why do I always fall in love with the tactless ones?
And while he wasn't against the idea, especially since it was the only option left, the idea of having sex with his girlfriend while looking like Faith... the thought didn't sit right with him.
All these thoughts passed through Xander's mind, distracting him and making it easier for him to walk - until he realized that was what was happening, and he stumbled again. There was an overhanging tree-branch, thick and sturdy, just above him. He reached out, grabbing at it to try and stabilize himself...
And the branch, thick as his arm and solid, snapped right off the tree. The sheer force of the break carried him down with it, and surprise did the rest - he fell on the ground, nearly face first, the broken branch still in one hand. The only reason he didn't smash his nose into the sidewalk was because, acting quicker than he thought he'd ever be able to, he moved his other arm in the wyatt the last minute, breaking his fall. Though, it meant his hand scraped across the pavement briefly, and mildly painfully.
In a very unmanly - literally - yelp of pain and surprise, Xander realized he hadn't actually broken his nose in the fall - thank god - and Holy shit I just broke the branch without even trying.
"Xander!" Buffy had turned around, and crouched down to help him up. She saw the branch and her eyes widened a moment. Then she smiled, "Well, look at the bright side of all this, Xander."
"Bright side?" Before he could make the obvious connection that Buffy had equally, obviously just made, Xander's resentment at the situation he found himself in kicked in, and he let a bit of it out as he let go of the branch, brushing himself off, "What could possibly be the 'bright side' about yet another instance of the universe making me it's butt monkey?!"
"You have Slayer Strength," Buffy pointed out, smiling. "That's not something you could have done just like that." She gestured to the branch, then frowned. "You should probably be really, really careful closing doors until we fix this," she added.
Slayer strength? She was right. He looked down at his hands, and then opened and closed them. Despite everything, the thought of having strength equivalent - or nearly so - to Buffy, or some random vampire - greater than one of those, right? - was a nice one. He'd long since resigned himself to being the Zeppo, to being the guy who didn't add anything directly to the fight, to being the normal guy...
And now I'm not normal, but I have to be a girl to be it. My joy cannot be contained or expressed in words.
But all that aside, he wondered if they'd have enough time for him to punch a vampire a few times, maybe knock it around a room once or twice. That would almost make up for being subjected to this whole mess.
It was a thought that brought a smile to his face, and he nodded.
"Yeah... I guess that is a bright side, yeah." He grinned, "and now we know for sure that Faith doesn't have any Slayer strength. Just regular old me strength." Sure, Xander wasn't physically weak, especially not after getting into construction, but he might as well be made of paper as far as a Slayer was concerned.
"True," Buffy laughed. "Faith must be having a hard time being normal." She scoffed, "Almost makes me want to leave things like this for a while, let her suffer."
"Hey!" Xander objected. Sure, Slayer strength was cool, but he didn't sign up for losing his manhood and living in the body of a psycho-killer.
Shit. She's probably wanted by the cops still. Which means I am.
Not that they could hold him, but the cops did have guns. That shot bullets. And even a Slayer can't outrun a bullet. Well, can they? That was a good question.
Also one he didn't want to test.
"I said almost!" Buffy countered defensively. They were close to the pay phone, so Xander stood, pondering his cool new strength boost, temporary as it was, while Buffy dialed collect for Giles.
"Giles, I found Faith. Sort of. The Council's goons might wake in a few hours with headaches, though," Buffy explained. She paused, while Giles said something. "One of them tried to shoot me! I wasn't going to be too gentle after that. But they're kind of out of commission for now. That's not - like I said, I found Faith. But it's complicated. Can you call Willow? And Anya? Have them meet us at your house?"
Another pause
"Well, if we didn't blow up the library last year, I'd say we should meet there. But we did," Buffy replied. "No, I don't know Anya's number. Let me ask Xander. Yeah, he's here too." She turned back from the payphone, covering the mouthpiece tightly.
"I think this might be a conversation to have in person, so let's not go into detail. But what's Anya's number?" Xander gave it to her, and Buffy relayed it to Giles. "We'll be there in a bit. Oh, and um, if Xander gets there before I do, don't shake his hand or let him leave." She added that last part quickly, almost too quickly to be understood, and then hung up the phone, before Giles could respond.
"Maybe we should have just explained?"
"Would you have believed me if I told you Willow and Faith had changed bodies, over the phone?" Buffy asked, after a moment, Xander shrugged helplessly.
"I don't know?" Which, he supposed, was kind of an answer. "Okay, fine, but let's go." As he followed Buffy to Giles's house - and hoped that they didn't run into any cops - he occupied his mind, much as he could, with the question of what he would say to Giles, Willow and Anya to convince them, if they had doubts. It didn't take him long, thankfully.
February 23, 2000
Giles's Apartment, Sunnydale
When they finally reached Giles' apartment, Xander hesitated, drawing up short. A sudden nausea settled into his stomach, as he realized what was next - everyone, not just Buffy, finding out what had happened to him. And how would Anya react? Poorly? Would she laugh? Or would everything be fine and he was overreacting?
"Xander?" Buffy turned, gesturing at the door. "Come on."
"Gimme a sec," Xander muttered. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to psyche himself up for it. It didn't really work. But knowing that this was the only way to get back his body - he could hardly run off and do it himself - he opened his eyes and nodded. "Okay. I'm - not really ready, but I mean, who can be ready for this? I'm ready-ish, let's go with that." He spoke quickly, channelling a bit of Willow as he babbled, but nodded again when he was done.
"I'll go in first." She knocked on the door to Giles's place, while Xander kind of hid right out of direct sight of the doorway, so Buffy could at least prepare him and the rest a bit.
"Buffy," Giles said, as he opened the door. "You said you found Faith - and where's Xander?"
"You know how I said sort of?" Buffy said, then she gestured for Xander to step into view. Hesitantly, Xander did just that. "This is the sort of. Xander and Faith switched bodies."
Giles cough-sputtered, then after a moment, he cleared his throat and started cleaning his glasses. "I - you're saying that's Xander."
"Yeah, it's me G-man," Xander said, looking up at the watcher. He'd always been a bit shorter than Giles, but now he actually had to really look up to meet the guy's eyes. Just how tall was Faith?
Buffy's like 5'2" or something, even if she insists she's 5"3, and I'm a bit taller than her, though she does have the heels, so... what am I'm 5'5" now? 5'6"? Yeesh.
"That's - that's quite an extraordinary claim." Giles said, putting his glasses back on. "I assume you confirmed?"
"He knew something Xander would never tell Faith, and that she wouldn't know any other way," Buffy said, smiling a little. Yeah, that was true - Xander would never, even if Faith hadn't been evil, mentioned the Fabulous Ladies Nightclub. No Power On This Earth.
Over Giles's shoulder, Xander could see Willow and Anya crowding the doorway. Xander inhaled a deep breath again, then started speaking.
"Giles, when Angelus took you prisoner and I helped you get away, you said Drusilla had made you see things that weren't there, and I pointed out that they'd never make you see me of all people." Giles cleared his throat again and nodded.
"That seems unlikely for something for Faith to know." He stepped aside, out of the way of the doorway. Buffy went inside, Xander behind her. "How exactly did this happen?"
"Faith had some sort of magic-thingy on her hand. I wasn't her first choice for body theft, but the council's goons had guns. So... you know, better to serve me up to them." Xander turned to Anya. he said one word. He was pretty sure, from other things Anya had said about her past, it was in Old Norse, but he had no idea what it meant. Just that Anya shouted it a lot when they were having sex.
Unsurprisingly, Anya didn't flush or anything like that.
"Well, it's definitely you then," She said. Before Xander realized what was happening, she hugged him tightly, and Xander was treated to the feeling of their chests pressing up against each other.
BOOBS! There was an electric jolt that ran through his body at the sensation, but showing more self-control than he actually thought he had, Xander forced himself not to follow any train of thought about what that meant.
Anya pulled back, frowning. "This won't do at all."
Xander's heart sank, "Ahn?"
"Well, how can you give me orgasms when you're like this?" she asked, still frowning. Xander felt heat rise in his cheeks - funny, he thought he was done flushing when Anya brouht up their sex life in public. "We have to fix this."
"That's the idea, Ahn," Xander said. "Not planning on staying like this forever."
"Good." Anya nodded, smiling. Then, she cocked her head to the side, considering. "Though, I suppose you still can-"
Xander made a noise of interruption quickly, bringing his finger up to his lips to further make the point. "Anya, let's talk about that when it's just the two of us, okay?" He looked her in the eyes - they were basically the same height now. "Please?"
Anya pouted a little, glaring at him for a moment, then nodded. Xander turned to Willow, who was still looking a bit suspicious, but only a bit.
"Remember this, Willow?" Xander started to do the Snoopy Dance, like he used to do for her every Christmas when she came over to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas at his place. Of course, it wasn't quite the same in his current body, and he stumbled, nearly falling over again after a few moments, but from the giggle that escaped Willow he'd made his point.
"This is so you, Xander," Willow said after a moment. "All the weird stuff happens to you." She laughed again, but only for a moment.
"Totally on brand for me, yeah," Xander agreed. "How do I get my body back, though? Preferably before Faith breaks too many laws while pretending to be me." Somehow, he didn't think 'she stole my body!' was a valid legal defense in front of a judge. This wasn't Star Trek.
He hated to sound like a broken record, but he really, really, really wanted to be sure there was a way out of this. There had to be, right? Sure, magic was screwy, but magic could always undo magic, right?
Then again, Willow hasn't been able to figure out how to un-rat Amy, so maybe not always.
"I... I'm not altogether sure," Giles admitted. "I know there are magics that can switch bodies... all of them require both bodies to be in relative proximity though. Which means we need to find - well, find you. Or, well, your body, anyway." He closed the door, which had been open the whole time since they came in.
"There's magic for that, right? To find her?" Xander asked, hopefully.
"If we had some of your hair, or something like that, yes, we could," Giles said.
"I've got a comb at home. I could-" Then Xander cut himself off. No, he couldn't go to his house. His parents wouldn't let him in, and...
Oh god. Dad will make some-
He cringed, feeling nauseous again. His dad would probably take one look at Faith's body, think she was a hooker and make some clumsy pass or something worse. Depending on how drunk he was at the time.
The thought almost made him gag.
"Or someone else could go and get something," Xander changed tack. "I don't think - can't really go home like this." He looked to Anya. "Could you- please, Ahn?"
Anya nodded, "If it'll get you back faster, okay."
"I think I remember reading about body-switching spells." Willow volunteered. "I'd have to look it up, but I'm pretty sure I could cast one. Might need a little help, once I know..." she trailed off, thoughtfully, as if she had an idea. But if she did, she wasn't sharing.
"How long would all this take?"
"Not very long, likely." Giles said. "Tracking spells are usually a simple matter, though I don't have any of the ingredients..."
"I don't either." Willow chimed in. "So we'd have to go the magic shop, and they're closed."
"So it's not gonna get fixed tonight. Yay." Xander balled one hand into a fist and hit his leg lightly a couple times, trying to stop from freaking out again. Just one night. Not the end of the world, right?
"I don't think so, no," Willow said. "But hopefully tomorrow. Unless Faith leaves Sunnydale... then we have to go-."
"Let's not think about that, please." Xander interrupted, desperately.
"It would be best to plan for such an eventuality, Xander." Giles said. "If Faith finds out the Council's special operations team doesn't have you anymore, she's hardly going to stay in Sunnydale where Buffy can catch her. Not when she's no longer the Slayer, at least in terms of the associated strength and speed."
"Wait, you've got Slayer strength?" Willow's eyes widened, gasping a little.
"Apparently, yeah." Xander nodded. "I mean, I guess that's technically a bright side, but if someone offered me the deal, I'd have said no."
"Because being a woman is so bad?" Anya asked, and Willow and Buffy both stared at him expectantly.
Fuck.
"No, but I'm not a woman!" he protested, even knowing how stupid it sounded to say that in Faith's voice. "I like not having to sit down to pee, among other things. I'm a guy. Guys aren't supposed to -" he gestured helplessly at himself.
I mean, sure, it could be interesting to find out how the other half lives, but like... I'm a guy not ah... transvestite! Okay, no, that wasn't the right word. That was just dressing like a woman. Xander couldn't remember the right word off the top of his head, but he wasn't one of those people who wanted to get sexual-reassignment surgery.
I like my dick, thank you very much. Just the thought of someone cutting theirs off made him want to cross his legs and cover his crotch. Like, if that's what they wanted, more power to them, but...
Gyagh!
"Right," Giles said after a moment, clearing his throat again. He reached for his glasses, probably about to clean them again - Xander was pretty sure he just did it to have an excuse to not say something for a moment - then seemed to think better of it. "Why don't you tell us exactly what happened with Faith, so we can better determine how to restore you to your proper body."
Xander took a breath and nodded. "Sure." He detailed the short course of events - Faith taking him hostage, their brief chitchat, the Council's goons showing up with guns, and Faith using that weird metal thing with the rings
"I don't think I've heard of anything quite like that..." Giles admitted, and Willow nodded in agreement.
"But you guys can still-"
"Of course," Willow interrupted, nodding again, vigorously. "There's more than one spell that can switch bodies... they all work differently, but as long as we have your old body back, It shouldn't be too hard." She sounded very, very confident, but Willow always did when it came to magic. And, to be fair, it usually worked out.
Not that it always did, but he was definitely preferring to believe in Willow this time than not.
"I'll bow to your expertise, assuming I don't find anything in my research that countermands what you're saying," Giles acknowledged towards Willow.
"So... what's the verdict? Xander's stuck for the rest of the day, until we can get the stuff needed for the tracking spell?" Anya summarized. "But then there should be an easy way to give him his body back? Is there any reason we need to stand around here talking about it anymore?"
"I guess not..." Buffy said, looking over to Willow and Giles.
"No, I don't believe so." Giles admitted. "Well, I suppose there's one issue left - where is Xander going to be staying the night? He can hardly go home... well, like this. And the police are looking for Faith."
"Another question - what is Xander going to wear tomorrow?" Buffy asked. "I'd just say one of us could lend him an outfit, but I don't think any of our clothes would fit..." Buffy gestured awkwardly at her chest, then Xander's - Faith's - in turn.
"Faith does have impressive breasts," Anya observed, her voice fairly level. "I can see why you had sex with her."
"I'm not sure she would have taken no for an answer then," Xander said, heat rising in his cheeks as he realized he said that allowed. But really, sure he hadn't been arguing, but given what happened later... yeah. How did Buffy say Faith had put it that one time? Want, Take, Have. Yeah, that had summed that whole thing up.
"And can we not talk about that please?" Xander asked quickly.
"You're in her body right now, Xander, I think you can talk about-" Anya started, but Xander gave her what he hoped looked like a pleading look, and after a moment, she stopped talking.
"As for your question, Buff, I think I can just re-wear the same clothes? I mean, it's only one day." Buffy looked a little annoyed at the notion, but she nodded.
"I suppose, it really is just the one day."
"Hopefully." Anya chimed in. "I mean, for all we know, Faith is on a bus to Cancun right now."
Really comforting, Anya, Xanderthought.
"Let's worry about that later. I mean, I can't go to the mall anyway - not as long as the cops want Faith," Xander pointed out. Xander hated the process of trying on and buying clothes as a guy, he had no doubt he'd hate it as a girl even more.
"Xander can crash on my mom's couch," Buffy suggested. "I mean, there's no room at our dorm," she gestured to herself and Willow, "and there's not really enough room for Xander here either," She gestured around Giles' living room.
"Shouldn't we ask your mom before you volunteer her couch?" Xander asked cautiously. He was just glad Anya wasn't suggesting he crash at her place - wherever exactly that was. She was quite protective of her own space. But as much as Xander would have liked the idea of spending the night with his girlfriend in theory, especially after the day he'd just had, if he stayed over with Anya, he was worried his girlfriend would suggest he put his oral practice to use, giving her orgasms.
Which, on the one hand, he wasn't against - he liked making Anya feel good - but the idea of having sex, any kind of sex, while looking like this was... for some reason, it didn't sit well with him. And given that it was only the one night...
"Do you really think she'd say no?" Buffy asked. "Once mom knows you're you, and not Faith."
"... I guess not." He sighed, "Okay, I guess that makes sense." Mrs. S had done the thing where she kicked Buffy out, even if she hadn't really meant it, or so she said, but compared to his parents, she was downright perfect. And Buffy was probably right that she'd be cool with him crashing on her couch for the night.
Under other circumstances, Xander figured he'd be tired and ready to crash after everything that had just happened, but he felt... Wired. Like he'd just chugged three or four cans of coke or something. Overcaffinated, antsy, and unable to stay still.
If the cops didn't want Faith, I'd say I could go find a vampire to kill... Now that he knew for sure this had an endpoint, and one that would come soon, the urge to have a bit of fun with Slayer Strength was growing. Find a vampire, kick it around a few times, stake it. Wash, rinse, repeat.
That translating his learned-on-the-job fighting with normal human guy strength into fighting with Slayer Strength might be easier said than done wasn't really occurring to him.
But that wasn't an option, so he'd have to just deal with it and sleep.
"I'll go to your place and get some of your hair, or something," Anya said. "But I'm not an errand-girl."
"Anya, when this is over, I'll be more than happy to pay you back a thousand times over for helping," Xander assured her. He looked to Buffy, "Should we go?"
"Probably."
Xander pulled Anya in for another hug, and, as slightly weird as it felt, gave her a quick kiss. "See you tomorrow, Ahn," he said softly, and Anya nodded, giving him a quick kiss back.
"Tomorrow," she repeated, quietly as well. Xander started to follow Buffy out, then Willow called out.
"Hey, Xander," he turned. Willow had a slightly mischievous look on her face, "don't forget about those lists we made back in 10th grade. You know: you, me, and Jesse?" What lists? Xander's confusion must have shown on his face, because Willow just smiled, as if amused by joke she'd just thought of.
"Just think on it. I'm sure you'll remember."
Shaking his head a little, Xander turned back and followed Buffy out of Giles's place.
February 23, 2000
1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale
Mrs. Summers hadn't needed any additional convincing that he was Xander, thankfully. Short of that one time she had tried to Mrs. Robinson him when half the town was under the control of that love-spell, he didn't really have anything he could have thought of. And he was pretty sure that Mrs. Summers had forgotten that whole incident, since it was before she had accepted the supernatural.
Either way, not the sort of thing he liked to think about. Or wanted to bring up.
Once Buffy had explained the situation, Mrs. Summers had had no problem letting Xander crash on the couch. It didn't pull out, but it would have been long enough even at his previous height, and since he'd lost like half a foot, there was even more room. He doubted it would be comfortable, but probably no worse than a sleeping bag in a tent during Christmas.
Once she had made sure Xander was good to stay here, Buffy had gone back out to look for Faith, and end the night at her dorm room.
Still not tired, however, Xander sat down on the couch, sort of staring blankly at the TV, which was turned off, thinking about... everything. Over and over and over again. And also, he was noticing, feeling a little hungry, though he felt too distracted to do anything about that.
Xander was feeling good about the prospects of this getting sorted out quickly, between what Willow and Giles had said. The only issue would be finding Faith, finding her running around in his body. If she heads for Buffy, Buffy will be able to deal with her. But she somehow realizes that Buffy knows, she'll run, right? Not that Xander could really be sure that anything Faith did would follow any sort of rational logic.
Crazy people just sort of did things. So who knew what she'd try to do.
But if she ran...
Well, that might leave him in this body for days, depending on where she ran, how fast...
She had Xander's car keys, but the car - Uncle Rory's car, fixed, sort of - was still kind of a piece of crap. She might take that car, she might take the bus. She had his money, such as it was. And Faith would have no qualms about more stealing.
Yay.
Xander really, really didn't want to get back into his body only to find out he was a wanted man.
Faith, please don't get caught, if you insist on breaking the law. The silent 'prayer' wasn't exactly one he'd have expected to make, but it was the best hope he had.
"It tends to work better if you turn it on." Xander was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Mrs. Summer's voice from the entrance to the living room, holding a pillow and blanket. He got up and accepted both.
"Thanks." He set them down on the couch next to him, sitting down again.
"Just... thinking," He explained. "Got a lot to think about."
"I can imagine," Mrs. Summers sat down in one of the chairs, looking across at him. "How are you holding up?"
Xander inhaled a little as he thought about the question. How was he holding up? After a moment, he shrugged helplessly. "Better now that I know this is temporary," Buffy had explained to her mother that once they found Faith, Willow would be able to cast a spell or use a spell she'd already cast, or whatever it was, to switch him back. "Still freaking out a bit, but... I'm handling that, mostly."
He sighed, "Mostly, right now, I'm worrying about what if Faith breaks the law some more while she looks like me. Well, that and the fact that the cops are looking for Faith... and will think I'm her. I don't think I can tell a Judge that someone stole my body and I'm in theirs."
Mrs. Summers smiled slightly, "No, probably not. But you are okay, then?"
"About as much as I can be," Xander confirmed. He looked down at his hand and realized that he was drumming his fingers against his leg, and probably had been the whole time. "Feeling... antsy." His stomach rumbled a little. "And hungry." He frowned, a thought suddenly occurring - when was the last time Faith had eaten? Anytime he'd seen her eat, she'd always downed the food like a starving woman.
"I don't want to impose, since you're already-" Xander started, but Mrs. Summers shook her head.
"You don't need to ask. I should have thought of that. The few times Faith was over for dinner, she certainly proved more than capable of going through a lot of food. I'm sure I have some things you can snack on," she got up and headed for the kitchen, Xander following behind her.
"If you want to not wear the same clothes tomorrow, I might have some old clothes that could fit," Mrs. Summers offered as she pulled a box of Saltines, as well as a package of cookies, out of a cupboard. "I'd have to check."
"It's really not that big of a deal," Xander said, "I appreciate it though."
"It's no problem. They'll just stay in a box somewhere until I get around to donating them," Mrs. Summers waved her hand. "I'll find a few things. Though I suppose you'll have to wear the same bra, no matter what." Xander knew it was stupid, but he felt heat rise in his cheek at the mention of bras. He was wearing one, because Faith had been, but that had been another thing he had been trying to avoid thinking about.
Why?
Well, to be honest, he wasn't sure. Just... somehow having to wear a bra felt more real than a lot of other things?
Okay, Xander, that sounds really stupid when you put it like that.
"Okay," Xander didn't fight - Buffy's mom was trying to help, and he supposed he would rather wear something a little less... revealing than what Faith had been wearing. Even if only for a little bit.
Or more, if she runs.
Nope, nope, nope, no more worrying about that.
"There we go," Mrs. Summers handed Xander the cookies, the Saltines, an apple and a few other things. Xander also grabbed a glass and filled it up at the sink. His hands were a bit full now, but he was managing.
"Thanks," He said, "Not just for - but for letting me crash here."
"Not a problem. Still getting used to having no one else in the house, even after this many months," Mrs. Summers laughed a little. "You know where the bathroom is if you decide you want a shower. I'll be upstairs - yell if you need me."
Xander nodded. "Alright." He headed back to the living room, pulling the coffee table a bit closer to the couch after setting the food and his glass of water down on it. Then he grabbed a coaster and moved the water on top of it. He turned the TV on, keeping the volume from being too high, but he quickly stopped paying attention to the action movie from ten years ago that he'd settled on, his mind drifting.
To avoid thinking about all the things that could go wrong, which really was an endless rabbit-hole, Xander started thinking about the 'bright sides', such as they were, of his situation. First and foremost, of course, he had Slayer Strength. Assuming an opportunity presented itself, Xander really wanted to have the chance to use it, just once.
It would be nice to be able to take the fight to the vampires and demons for a change. It would be nice to not be the Zeppo, for a change. He'd always felt useless, compared to Willow and Giles and of course Buffy - and sure, he had a better handle on all that now, but it was still there. He was, after all, still puttering around, only partially employed, living in his parent's basement. Buffy and Willow had their lives together and were at college.
It had only driven his feelings of uselessness further, really.
Now, though, even if only for a little bit, he could at least feel like he was useful, just the one time. It was an appealing thought.
And that wasn't the only bright side, the more he thought about it, or at least, not the only potentially good thing that could come out of this.
It wasn't like he hadn't wondered what it would be like to be a woman. Idle thoughts you have when you're curious or bored. And now he had the chance, and, thankfully, one that would end.
Because sure, he'd wondered, but he'd never wanted to actually be a woman. Try it for a day or two, sure, what guy wouldn't enjoy playing with a pair of breasts attached to their own body for a while. Or more.
What was it Jesse said that one time? If he woke up a girl he'd be too busy playing with his boobs all day to ever leave the house?
Thinking about Jesse, as always, left him with mildly mixed feelings, guilt because he sometimes felt like he didn't think about the guy enough at all, remorse at having had to kill him, but also... Jesse was his friend, and had been for nearly as long as Willow. He had a lot of fond memories of the guy.
Thinking about that specific comment by Jesse, though, made him realize - finally - what Willow had meant about lists.
It was like... middle of Sophomore Year, a few months before Buffy came to town, and Xander had just read one of his comic books, where the superhero and his girlfriend had had their bodies switched by the villain of the issue, some mad scientist dude. Xander honestly couldn't remember the details, but he'd brought it up with Jesse and Willow, because it had been amusing, and at some point the conversation had turned to the question of 'what would you do if you woke up the other gender'. They'd made lists. Unsurprisingly, for sixteen year old boys, he and Jesse had come up with lists that leaned more on the... dirty side of things.
Willow's - well, if he remembered right, she had blushed quite furiously when writing the list, so she'd probably thought of a few things, but she certainly hadn't shared them with Jesse and him. Hers was more like 'pee standing up' and stuff like that.
Xander didn't remember his list exactly - if he'd kept it at all, it would be somewhere in his basement home, but he doubted he had - but he was pretty sure the first one on his list had been 'play with boobs' and that somewhere on it had been 'multiple orgasms'.
What? He had been, and still was, a horny teenager.
Thinking about it both made Xander feel curious and... weird. He was in a unique position, now, to feel what it was like to be a girl... like that.
I mean, this'll be ended tomorrow, or like, maybe the day after right? So if I want to do it, I should do it now?
Now that the thought was in Xander's head, it wouldn't leave. And why did it need to? Sure, the idea of feeling up a body that wasn't his, but that he was inside seemed a bit weird, but it was the body he was in, and she could hardly object he was doing something like that to her body, since she'd gone and stolen his.
After a long moment to psyche himself up, Xander took a deep breath.
"I'm gonna do it," he said quietly. He took his plate to the sink, threw away his trash and put the rest of the food away, then headed upstairs, trying to both move so quickly he wouldn't second-guess himself, and also not draw attention to himself. He went into the bathroom, then, as he started to close the door, remembered Buffy's advice about closing doors.
Very slowly, very carefully, he closed the door and clicked it shut. Everything looked fine. Facing the mirror, Xander undressed. It proved to be a little hard to get the shirt off right, but soon enough, he was standing in just Faith's bra and panties.
Seeing himself in women's underwear, even given that he was in a woman's body, made Xander's pulse race, and not in a good way, as he felt himself starting to breath quickly, as if about to start hyperventilating. Fortunately, he was able to get control of himself pretty quickly, holding onto the sink and closing his eyes for a moment as he took a couple breaths.
Now that he had a chance to really look at Faith's body, he could see where being in a coma hadn't been all that good for her. Compared to how she'd been before, she'd lost a little too much weight, her skin was a little too pale, and she seemed to have lost some of her muscle definition.
Probably only doing this well from a coma this long because she's got Slayer healing or something. Xander vaguely remembered something about the body atrophying during a coma, anyway. Maybe.
He looked at his reflection again, at the bra and panties he wore. Both were black, and while sexy, seemed, to his relatively untrained eye, to be somewhat more practical.
He had no idea what sort of bra it was - didn't look like a sports bra, and it didn't cover the top of her boobs - his boobs, for the moment - but it was a bra. It seemed - and felt - supportive but also restrictive.
It proved a little more difficult to take the thing off himself than it would have been to take it off Anya, but he managed to do the same, leaving himself standing there in just the panties. It actually felt pretty good, at least a bit, to get the bra off, and he let out an involuntary sigh of relief as he took it off.
Hesitantly at first, Xander brought a hand experimentally up to one boob and started to feel it, just sort of... rubbing and massaging and squeezing a bit. Not every single touch he gave himself felt good, but several did, and he felt several more of those electric thrills running down his body, both like and unlike what he'd felt with his dick. He tried to think of how to describe it, but the words failed him pretty quickly.
He pulled his hand back, and then cupped both breasts, feeling them. When he'd first woken up and seen them, Faith's boobs had seemed huge, massive on his chest, but now that he wasn't freaking out, no, nothing like that. Faith had a nice rack, but they weren't huge.
Which meant, at least for the moment, he had a pretty nice rack.
Okay, they're not really mine, but since this is the body I'm in, it's much simpler to think like that... Fuck, having his body swapped like this made even words confusing.
Pushing that aside, he started mimicking somewhat what he knew Anya liked, Xander started to play with his boobs for another few minutes. It felt... good. Weird and good, the feelings totally unfamiliar, but... good. Really, good actually. He hadn't even meant to keep going for that long, but after he started,and got the hang of what did and didn't feel good, it was hard to stop.
Fuck. The feeling of... like... heat gathering near his crotch, at the base of his stomach was only growing with each little jolt that ran through his body, and the antsy feeling he'd been feeling earlier grew much more intense, but totally different. It was... again, he had trouble finding the right words. His legs felt a little unsteady, almost, but not really. The urge to move his hand lower was growing inside of him, as he kept going with his breasts, he couldn't help but let out several soft-sounding gasps of increasing pleasure. Idly, he noted out different Faith's voice sounded from Anya's when she was gasping, but most of his mind remained focused on trying to describe how he felt.
He felt... tight, almost, his whole body more aware. He moved one hand down his torso, inching slowly along his stomach, but after a moment, he finally managed to stop.
No, not -
His breathing shaky, almost a bit ragged as he felt his pulse pounding even past his ears, heart thudding quickly and heavily in his chest, Xander took a few hesitant steps to the shower and turned it on, and while he waited for the water to get warm, took off the panties, getting, in the process, his first look at the crotch of his temporary body - at least the first look from this angle.
Experimentally, he trailed his hand down his body again, inhaling sharply, then hesitantly, experimentally touched himself down there, trying to apply what he knew made Anya feel good. After a few moments, he let out a moan.
That felt really good. The sensation that ran through the body there really - Xander's breathing quickened, but before he kept going, he stepped into the running shower, then resumed, slowly, still hesitantly, still unsure, getting less so every moment, he kept his fingers working between his legs. He finally found his clit and when his finger first brushed over it, he almost fell over - his legs buckled, and then they did more when he kept at it. What worked for his girlfriend seemed more or less just as good here, and with practice from his hard work under Anya's tutelage, he quickly found something building.
Again, like with everything else, it felt both alike and unlike anything he'd ever felt before. The building rush of pleasure inside of him felt like what he felt like when he had gotten himself off before, that moment before release, but this felt deeper, like it was his entire body, not just collected in his dick.
When the climax finally came, he let out a long, loud moan - he managed to bite his lip after the first moments, trying to control the volume, but what he couldn't do was stay standing. It was as much luck as anything else that he fell without hitting his head on the tub's faucet or hitting the wall-tile too hard, but he did fall as he came, the whole sensation of euphoria thundering through him and making him lose track of everything around him in a way that felt very familiar, but almost more so.
After he was done, which took longer than it ever had with a guy, Xander opened his eyes, totally ignoring the water streaming all around him as he sat there in the tub, breathing ragged and heavy.
"Holy fuck." In a lot of ways, it really didn't feel all that different. And yet in other ways...
Fuck.
It took some doing, but he did manage to feel that 'multiple orgasms' thing. And almost crushed the spigot for the tub when he grabbed onto it for stability.
He took long enough in the shower, in total, that the water was cold by the time he was done, but he felt a lot less antsy afterwards than he had before. And - well, he'd had his curiosity satisfied in a way that had felt really good.
Between that, and now being somewhat more tired and secure and calm in the notion that he'd be back in his own body tomorrow, so all this would be sorted out, Xander watched some more TV before eventually falling asleep on the couch.