Namjoon: [11:24 PM] Remember when we used to send each other cute texts?
Me: [11:26 PM] „Cute Texts" XD
Namjoon: [11:27 PM] WeirdNamjoon English?
Me: [11:28 PM] Nah, but cute texts is actually a pretty cute way of describing them in itself.
Me: [11:29 PM] But did we stop doing that?
Namjoon: [11:30 PM] Don't really need to text when we can just see each other ;)
Me: [11:31 PM] And now you miss me? It's only for a couple of nights, Joon, you will survive.
Namjoon: [11:33 PM] Pffff…
Namjoon: [11:33 PM] That was definitely not a cute text.
Namjoon: [11:34 PM] Especially considering you were the one who showed up here this morning before breakfast to have some alone time!
Me: [11:36 PM] Come on, I was kidding. It's super weird sleeping alone again. That…happened fast. Namjoon: [11:38 PM] You can still come over ;P
Me: [11:40 PM] I feel like I am testing manager Sejin's patience enough. He can only ignore so much. Namjoon: [11:41 PM] Nah, he is a good guy.
Namjoon: [11:42 PM] And he definitely knows already.
Me: [11:44 PM] I know, I know. But I really don't want to sneak out tomorrow morning. Also, I think Sue is not doing well, maybe she is sick or something, she hasn't left her room since I got home. I should probably see how she is doing.
Namjoon: [11:45 PM] Alright. I think I am going to head to bed then.
Me: [11:47 PM] Big day tomorrow! Lots of crabs waiting to be found by you! Yay beach day!
Namjoon: [11:48 PM] You are an idiot!
Namjoon: [11:50 PM] Probably why I like you so much
Namjoon: [11:51 PM] =) Me:
[11:53 PM] Okay, you are really good at sending cute texts Joonie 3 Sleep well

I looked at the phone display for a while, still smiling and then put it on the desk next to me, got up and walked over to the small room Sue had to herself while yawning wholeheartedly. Today had been a long but good day. I was so ready for bed. „Hey…" I said after having knocked twice without a response and eventually just opening her door a crack. „Are you okay in there? I haven't seen you all evening. Are you coming down with something?" First I didn't heart anything, maybe Sue was asleep already... „Yeah, I think so." „Oh no. Do you need anything? Water? Meds?" „No, thank you, I am good. I guess I just need some sleep." „Okay, sorry if I woke you up… feel better, okay?" I closed the door behind me and didn't think about it too much. Maybe I should have. But instead, I went to bed. Big day tomorrow. Lots of crabs.

When I got to the villa the next morning - again half an hour early - Namjoon almost didn't react at all when I snuck into his room and flopped down on the bed. „Well good morning to you too" I said grinning and turned towards him, my fingers gently poking his upper arm to wake him up properly. „Morning" he said in a yawn and simply made me stop by taking my hand, but his eyes were still closed. „I'm going to let you touch my boobs if you wake up." I said, which made him laugh. „Wow. Maybe we can go to third base tomorrow morning?" He said after a while and finally opened his eyes. „We'll see." I just added and crawled on top of him. „Can I at least brush my teeth first, woman?" „Nope" He was laughing again when I kissed him, eventually, we just lay there and the thought of taking a nap on top of him was incredibly tempting. So I kept talking to keep us both awake. „How did you sleep?" „Good. Not long enough though. Jin came over when I was about to head to bed and I am not really sure what he wanted…" „Probably cuddles as well." „Maybe… yeah. He looked upset but just wouldn't come out with what was going on. And then eventually he left. Strange guy sometimes." Namjoon's last words turned into a yawn. „You know what? I like it here. I wish we could just go out and explore. We should come back one day by ourselves." I nodded, my chin on his chest. „Yes please." We both knew that the chance of that happening was slim to none. Maybe not as many people here would recognize him as if we were in Los Angeles or Paris, but it was still a matter of security. And a romantic trip that would be the two of us plus a manager or security guard didn't sound too appealing. But it was the thought that counted. And the fact that he was thinking ahead.

We dozed for a little while and when Namjoon got under the shower I went down for breakfast. „Beeeeacchhh tiiiimmmeee…" was Hobi's way of greeting me when I sat down next to him with a bowl of cereal. „Beaaachh timmmeee" I replied, just the way I had yesterday every time he had said it. And probably annoyed everyone. When Georgia and Sue came in I noticed that Sue looked like she hadn't slept at all. „Feeling better?" I asked hopeful and she tried to smile at me, nodded. „Yeah. Maybe I was just exhausted."

By the time Namjoon and Jin came downstairs, almost everyone was already finished eating. Really feeling the mom vibes myself today I greeted Jin with a „Are you okay? Namjoon said you weren't feeling too well last night." Jin, who had just sat down on the other side of the big dining table, cleared his throat and then just nodded. Okay. Seemed like not everyone was as excited for the day as Hobi and I were. „Just tired…" Jin murmured, quickly stuffing his mouth with food. „Oh wow, seems like everyone could use some sleep." I just replied, looking over at Sue who was blushing a little. Jin looked as well, over at Sue, and then down at his food again. These two… seriously…

The beach was perfect. And it made filming as easy as we had hoped. We made them play some games to win a price but the scenery made the mood so good that it probably wouldn't have even been necessary. It made me think of Bon Voyage, but also the European promo tour. Just with better weather. At some point everyone had taken their pants off to film standing in the water - good call by Georgia to put our bathing suits on under our clothes already - and by the end of it everyone's clothes were soaked, but it didn't matter. Editing would do the rest, cut out when one of us was visible, the only hint that someone apart from BTS had been at the beach was Kookie's inaudible exclamation when he saw Georgia's leopard print bikini. Brave girl. She made Sue and me in our bathing suits look like grandmas. „Baywatch, Baywatch, let's go." Jimin commented and seconds later we were running up and down the beach in bad slomo. At some point, even Sejin was in the water. But the fun ended abruptly when we were scolded by hair and makeup on the phone and told we had to head back to the villa to get the guy's ready for the video shoot that started later that day. The little bus we had rented smelled of sunscreen and salt and warm skin. Life was good.

I had had no idea what the plan for the music video was, but the first scene set the side of the mountain looked amazing. I liked the new song as well, a happy pop tune with electronic elements, a happier „Save me" maybe, perfect to reintroduce BTS's music to the world. Time was flying, I honestly had no idea whether the shoot was going well, we just kept filming behind the scenes stuff... them getting ready, laughing and eating watermelon during breaks.

By the time we were heading back down the mountain to where the cars were parked everyone was exhausted. I was walking next to Sue when one of the cameramen behind us slipped and crashed into us from behind. I could steady myself after making a few steps, but Sue, walking on the side of the uneven pathway, slipped as well and fell down. The fynbos next to the path may have stopped her from falling further, but there were rocks underneath and when she turned around I could see her knee bleeding and her arm was all scratched up and full of thorns. Shock and pain were clearly visible in her face, but she was blinking away a couple of tears. There had been some screams and after the cameraman had helped her up someone said they would get a first aid kit from the car. While I tried to get the thorns out of her arm.

SUE: My body was aching. My knee hurt. And my arm. But the embarrassment was much worse. It really hadn't been my fault, I knew that. And still, it was me that had flown off the street. Not the camera guy, not Ollie… Of course, I didn't wish them any harm, but why was it always me?

„I can carry you down…" The cameraman offered, but I just shook my head, teeth pressed together while Olivia was pulling shrubbery out of my arm and I had to look away. He looked heartbroken, apologized again and then continued to carry the camera down. Only moments later the few people who had been behind us on the path stopped next to us and Namjoon also offered to carry me. „Just… give her a second, okay?" Ollie hissed and Joon looked like he was upset for a second, which was when Olivia sighed. „Sorry, I didn't mean for that to come off harsh. Thank you, but I think we should wait for the first aid kit. I think I need tweezers for some of this. If you carry her now she will just get hurt more…" Gently she touched his arm and he started nodding. „Okay, we'll wait here with you…" he murmured and gestured to the rest to go ahead. Only when I looked up again I realized who the ‚we' was. Of course. Jin.

I had tried to ignore him all day. He hadn't done anything wrong, that was all on me. But after running out last night I felt so stupid and guilty, I just didn't know how to act around him so I had just tried to avoid him. It didn't make me feel any better, it just made everything worse. By the time Hobi had run up the mountain with the kit, Olivia had made me sit down. Namjoon fidgeted around with the little case, almost dropping all of its contents on the dusty ground. „Just put it down and let someone else do it!" Jin said sternly and Namjoon sighed, agreeing.

I watched as the first few cars left the parking lot. Just to distract myself because I really didn't want to see what Ollie did with those tweezers. Namjoon next to her was making hissing noises, only stopping after we all shot him an annoyed look. Hobi took it upon himself to kneel down in front of my, wiping blood off my leg and then putting a huge band-aid on the wound, it really wasn't as bad as it looked. He smiled at me when I looked up and for some reason that pushed me over the edge and I started crying. I didn't sob, but the tears just kept falling. Namjoon looked so uncomfortable that I buried my face in my other elbow. But Ollie just wasn't done yet.

Suddenly there was crunching sounds of the gravel right behind me moving and then my heart jumped when I felt arms around my waist. And then legs appear next to me. And then a chest pressed into my back and by the time Jin leaned his face against my shoulder I had for some reason already realized it was him. I froze for a second before realizing that the panic I expected to start bubbling up never came. Instead, I just leaned my head against his. And then my back against his body. I didn't see the way the others looked at us in shock. But there was definitely a pause from Ollie's tweezer torture. The tears stopped. Instead, I thought about what the smell of Jin's hair reminded me of, but couldn't quite put my finger on it.

„Okay. I think… that should do. Should we disinfect it now as well? It will probably sting quite a bit, but I don't want to wait until we are back at home…" Olivia eventually said and I finally looked over. Now that the thorns were gone the arm didn't look too bad. So I nodded and Jin raised one hand from my stomach, holding it up in front of me and I grabbed it. And then probably squeezed it pretty hard when Olivia sprayed the disinfectant on. „Motherf…" I let out, which made Hobi laugh, even though he tried to stop. But Joon was chuckling as well and then I had to laugh too.

Jin helped me up and when I was sure I was standing steady I looked up at him. He looked a little terrified, only started smiling shyly after I had thanked him. We made it down to the car slowly and once I was sitting in the passenger seat I let out a big sigh. „People… really have to be more careful around you. Why do these things keep happening to you…" Namjoon said and sounded almost upset. How could he know that the fact someone else had noticed kind of hurt me... But to know he cared was nice. „It wasn't his fault." „Wasn't your fault either." „Just because for once you aren't the guy having the accident…" Hobi started, but Joon quickly covered the rest of the sentence with a loud „Lalalalaaa!"

Laughing filled the car and made everything hurt a little less. When I turned around I saw Jin resting his face in the palm of his hand, looking outside at the water. But then he turned around and when I smiled at him he smiled back. Quickly followed by us both looking down. The puzzle pieces still didn't quite make sense to me... how could be so shy and loud and confident and unsure and forward... all at the same time? How had he known that I had really needed that hug earlier? When normally that would have freaked me out more than anything.

I wanted to get out of the car at our Airbnb, but Hobi and Olivia tried to convince me that if I needed rest a daybed by the pool of the villa was the best option. Clearly. The offer sounded tempting, but I really just wanted to have a second to myself. "You go, I'm okay. I just need a shower and a nap. I will join you later, I promise." I said to Olivia when she was about to get out of the car with me and she didn't seem convinced at first but eventually got back in. "If you aren't at our place in two hours we will all come over here, so you better keep your word." Namjoon said with a wink and I nodded. When I walked into the house I realized that I actually felt like going over there later. The thought terrified me, yes, but not to a point where I didn't want to go. But first... shower...