Chapter 16: Ice Castle

Toph closes her unseeing eyes as she breathes in the crisp evening air. She holds her arms tight across her chest, both for comfort and in an effort to ward off the cold. It's that time of year when the days are still warm, yet the nights are chilly - no longer summer, but not quite fall either. She suppresses a shiver as a particularly cold draught tickles her skin, the sea breeze carrying a familiar, salty smell with it. Somewhere on the island, Toph can hear the band playing an upbeat tune, but it sounds hollow from this distance, and she chooses instead to focus on the sound of the gentle waves, calmly lapping at the island's shore. She sinks her feet into the pebbles of the beach, the hem of her dress soaking in water from the bay as it laps at her feet.

She came out here to be alone, but she's hardly surprised when she feels a certain waterbender approaching, the rocky beach shifting underneath delicate steps. Katara doesn't say anything for a moment as she joins Toph, standing beside her at the edge of the shore. Toph wouldn't quite call it companionable silence, but it's comforting, and she's surprised to find that she's actually glad to have the company.

The silence lingers for a while as Katara looks out at the distant city lights, twinkling in their reflection on the bay. She has her own mixed bag of emotions to deal with, but it's Toph she came out here for. She looks at her friend, and she briefly appreciates the rare moment of getting to see Toph all dolled up. Her hair is up off of her face and pulled back into an elegant updo, and she's wearing a simple, yet formal Han Fu, a gold belt accentuating her waist. It's an understated, yet sophisticated look, and not for the first time, Katara is reminded of what a natural beauty her friend is. She notes that the green tones of her dress bring out Toph's eyes, but their splendor is tarnished by her somber expression.

Finally, Katara shifts towards her friend. She sighs, preparing herself. Then, with a gentle voice, "Are you okay?"

Toph nods her head, just slightly, but she doesn't give an answer to the question she knows Katara is really asking.

Instead, she finds herself saying, "Katara, how am I going to make this city safe?"

Katara creases her forehead - a mix of concern and confusion. She expected Toph to be brooding, but she's surprised by the direction of the conversation, and by just how dark Toph's expression is. Either way, she assures, "You already are making it safe, Toph."

"Am I?" she retorts, cynically. "Every day, I catch criminals, and every day, there's still crime. It doesn't matter how many arrests I make. The names change, but the game stays the same."

Katara nudges her shoulder, attempting to lighten the mood. "Sheesh, when did you get so jaded?"

But the sullen mood only deepens. Toph sighs, poignantly, "When I grew up." She speaks quietly, her face turned towards the breeze. "Fighting used to be my escape – now it's my prison."

Katara's breath hitches in disbelief, unsure if she heard correctly. Her face tightens with worry. "Toph, don't say that."

"Don't get me wrong, Katara. I'll always love being an earthbender. That's basically my whole identity," a short, sardonic laugh escapes her, "And, of course I'll always love fighting too - I didn't mean it like that.

"It's just…" Toph scrunches her face, trying to form the words, "I'm not sure I like what I'm fighting for, you know? I don't feel like I'm fighting for the people anymore - I feel like I'm fighting for the system."

"What do you mean?"

Toph purses her lips in contemplation. What does she mean? She's never put these feelings into words before, but they've weighed on her conscious for a while now. She speaks slowly, as she tries to piece together her thoughts. "I guess, sometimes I feel like my job is just for show - like I'm not actually protecting anyone. I mean, what does it matter if I catch criminals, when our judicial system says they're innocent?"

A worried pause. Then, "Toph, where is this coming from?"

"Yakone." Another weary sigh, as she admits, "We're so close to catching him. But...I just can't help feeling like it doesn't matter. I know, deep in my gut, that he's a scumbag who deserves to rot in prison." Her arms fall, forming fists at her sides, "But the hard truth of the matter is that there's simply not enough evidence to convict him. That's not justice, that's just bureaucracy."

"Toph," Katara affirms, "It's not your fault if he doesn't get convicted. You're just doing your job, and you can only do so much within the law."

"Exactly!" she bursts. "It's my job to protect the law, but am I actually doing any good? Does the law protect the people? I just hate that no matter how good at my job I am – or how good of an earthbender I am – I don't feel like I'm actually making this city any safer."

Katara nods, mulling over her friend's outburst. She's heard Toph be weary over her job before, but she's never heard her sound quite so morose. She doesn't know what else she can say, but she tries, "I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, Toph. But, for what it's worth, I certainly feel a lot safer knowing that my family is under your protection. And I know a lot of people feel the same way."

Toph turns her head towards her friend, a rare timid expression. "Really?"

With a motherly smile, "Really." Somewhat sardonically, Katara adds, "And yeah, not every criminal will face justice... I guess life is just unfair that way."

Somehow, that manages to break through Toph's somber mood, and she sends a teasing smirk her friend's way, echoing the words from earlier, "Sheesh, Katara, when did you get so jaded."

Katara returns the smirk, glad to see her friend returning somewhat to normal, but she finds herself continuing her speech, "Toph, you're a hero. You may not put every criminal behind bars, but you do save lives trying. And to be honest, sometimes I think the illusion of safety is just as important as anything else."

Toph narrows a brow, curiously, "What do you mean? How can the 'illusion' of safety matter more than actual security."

"Because, Toph. Republic City will never be 100% free of crime - that's just unrealistic to hope for. You're right, the names on the streets with change, but there will always be people willing to break the law and harm others to get ahead." Katara places a comforting hand on Toph's shoulder, her speech unwavering, "When Yakone does face justice – and he will, face justice – there will probably be some other ambitious crime lord waiting to take his place.

"But, can you imagine if there wasn't a police force, if there wasn't you to protect people from crime? Not only would we not actually be safe, but we certainly wouldn't feel safe either. Having a sense of security, whether or not it's really there, is what allows people to live. To really, truly and freely live, without fear. You may not always be fighting for justice, Toph, but you are fighting for freedom. And I know that means something to you."

Toph nods slowly, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she considers Katara's speech. Katara takes her silence for disagreement, and she adds, "Sorry, not sure if that's helpful."

"No, no," Toph quickly assures her friend, "That actually does help. Thanks, Sweetness."

Katara smiles, proud of herself for getting through one of Toph's typically impenetrable moods. "Good. So, you're feeling better?"

"Well, I'll feel really great once Yakone is behind bars," Toph declares, though her tone is more relaxed, "But yeah, I do feel better. 'Protector of Freedom' - has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Toph nudges her friend's side in jest, and Katara merely rolls her eyes in endearment. "Alright, Toph. Don't let it get to your head - it's big enough already," she teases. "Besides, I think the 'Freedom Fighters' kind of have that gig covered."

The two women share a laugh, relieved to dispel of the somewhat dire atmosphere. The laughter fizzles out, and Katara reaches for Toph's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Toph returns the gesture, hoping it conveys her gratitude – not just for the pep talk, but for everything.

In truth, she has always been secretly thankful for Katara's motherly and intuitive nature, even if she is sometimes overbearing. But motherhood breeds a deeper sense of empathy, and since Lin was born, Toph has tried to be a little bit more expressive of her appreciation towards the fellow mother.

Katara has been just as supportive and helpful as one might expect when it came to raising Lin. In fact, all of Toph's friends have been nothing but supportive as she's traveled down the bumpy road of motherhood. And more than ever before, Toph has had to learn how to accept help and rely on others. At times, it can be hard not to feel like a burden, but she keeps reminding herself that her friends are her family. She would do anything for them, so maybe it's okay if sometimes she lets them do anything for her too.

And admittedly, she can use all the help she can get. Motherhood has been just as challenging as she imagined it would be, if not more so. There's no way around it; raising a daughter as a single mother while also working a full time, fast-paced job is hard.

Plus, no matter how much Toph loves her daughter (which is more than anything), she's still just inherently not a maternal person. Whereas the cooing and coddling of being a mother comes naturally to a person like Katara, Toph has to actively remind herself to not be so crass and hard-faced around her own daughter. But she's getting better at it - at being a more affectionate mother - and in large part, that's because of Katara's continued guidance and 'gentle nudging'.

Despite Katara being one of her best friends, Toph never felt like they had much in common. They got along well (most of the time), and of course they've had their bonding moments over the years (a secret day at the spa has become an annual event), but Toph has always felt like there was some link missing from the chain of their bond. But that's changed, now that they're both mothers. Very different mothers with very different parenting styles, but mothers nonetheless, and Toph appreciates the new, deeper understanding and respect they've gained for each other as a result.

Toph let's go of her friend's hand, and she feels relieved to share another companionable silence, simply listening to the waves lapping at the shore.

But then, Katara asks, "So…how do you feel about all this?"

She gestures back in the direction of the party – still lively somewhere in the distance - and Toph's face falls once again. "Don't ask me that. Not when you already know the answer."

"I'm sorry, Toph," Katara gives her friend a comforting pat on the arm, and Toph knows she's apologizing for more than just the question.

She kicks at the pebbles on the beach. "Don't sweat it."

Katara almost lets the conversation go, but it's in her nature to be pushy, so, "Listen, I know that you probably don't want to talk about it, but it's okay to admit that you'll miss him."

Quietly, Toph answers, "Of course I'll miss him. We all will, won't we?"

"You're right. We will," Katara nods, though she's clearly unsatisfied with Toph's answer. So, carefully, she adds, "But I know that you had feelings for him - ones that never quite got resolved. I'm sure this can't be easy for you."

Toph sighs, her tone resigned, but she doesn't beat around the bush, "Look, if we were meant to be together, then we'd be together - but evidently, we're not. I've gotten over it. He's gotten over it. You should get over it too."

"But-"

"Please don't worry about me, Katara," Toph adds, more gently. "I'm not just some indignant kid with a silly little crush anymore. Believe it or not, I don't spend every waking moment pining after your brother," she offers a somewhat self-deprecating smile, before it falls again. "I only want what's best for him, and she seems to make him happy, so that's enough for me. Besides, I have Lin. She's all I really need."

Katara nods again, but she's not quite ready to let it go. "I know. But, are you sure you're okay? I'm always here if you ever want to talk about it."

"Katara, please – I'm fine." Toph forces a smile, "Now let's stop moping and get back to the party. It's your brother's wedding, for spirit's sake. We should be celebrating."

Katara frowns, still unconvinced. But she knows Toph well enough to know that's all she's going to get on the subject, so she relents, "Alright… let's go."

She turns to make her way back towards the party, but pauses mid-step. Katara faces her friend, who waits expectantly, and she's not sure if her next words will help or only make the situation worse. But she feels the need to say them anyway, "For the record, Toph - I know you and my brother didn't have a traditional relationship, but you did have something. And you made him happy too - you always have."

"Katara. Please don't-"

"And," she interrupts, determined to say her piece. Somewhat cryptically, she finishes, "I want what's best for him too." Finally, she turns and starts walking back, leaving Toph on the shore to mull over her words.

But Toph merely shakes her head. She and Katara may have bonded over the woes of motherhood, but they still see the world very differently (and not just for the obvious reasons). She appreciates Katara's emotional support, she does, but there's a reason Toph calls her friend "Sweetness." Katara tends to see love as some black and white entity – her mentality sugar coated by the idea that 'love triumphs all'. But, Toph knows it's not as simple as that.

She still loves Sokka, of course she does. And she's matured enough to stop denying that her feelings go beyond friendship, even after all these years. And Katara's right about one thing – they never did get the chance to resolve their feelings. Not really.

In the back of her mind, Toph always believed that one day, she'd be able to fix the mistakes she made the first time around, and she'd be able to really love Sokka in the way she wanted to. In the way he deserved.

But she kept putting it off – during her pregnancy and beyond. Why? For the same reasons that always plagued her ability to confront her feelings. Toph may be a brave woman, but she's admittedly less brave when it comes to matters of the heart. There are just too many worst case scenarios. Too many fears.

Fear of vulnerability. Fear of rejection. Fear of losing him.

But there are also newfound fears – she has a daughter now, and it's not just Toph's own heart that she has to protect. Lin is just as attached to Sokka as she is, and for Toph to risk her relationship with him would mean to risk her daughter's relationship with him too.

Not to mention, she knows that Sokka deserves to be loved, but what does she deserve? Wasn't she the one to ruin their chance of a relationship in the first place?

She always doubted that she could be what Sokka wanted (feminine, affectionate, graceful – all the things that don't come naturally to her). But at some point, she started to wonder if she was even what he deserves. He deserves someone who is not only unwavering in their love, but open with it. Someone who isn't afraid of it.

With all those questions, and with all that self-doubt, it just became easier to put it off. And, somewhat selfishly, Toph had assumed that Sokka would just be waiting for her to be ready. To no longer be so afraid.

But no, why would he? What reason did he have to believe that Toph wanted something more with him? Did she say anything? No. She just assumed they'd have their moment again. And in truth, she can't help but feel like she took advantage of him. He looked after Lin, and he looked after her. He was always there for her, and Toph made the mistake of thinking he always would be.

But again, why would he be? He didn't owe her anything. If anything, he owed it to himself to move on.

They had their moment, but she let the ball drop. And that was okay for a while, because Toph had found Lin. And she thought that someday, she'd find Sokka too.

But then Sokka found Kahlia first.

Toph, I'm going to ask her to marry me.

The words echo in Toph's head - a painful reminder of how wrong it all went. Maybe if Toph had said something? Maybe if she hadn't assumed that when Sokka started dating again, it would just be another fling? Maybe if she never let him leave in the first time around? If she never slept with Kanto?

Well, she can't quite bring herself to regret that one. It may have been a mistake at the time, but it gave her Lin, and that's a gift she will never regret.

Still, she can't help but focus on all the 'maybes'. Maybe if I did this? Maybe if I hadn't done that? Maybe a lot of things. But, 'maybes' won't change the fact that she missed her chance, and Sokka is now married to someone who isn't her.

Regardless, even though it hurts, she'd take platonic love with Sokka over no love at all. Plus, she genuinely wants him to be happy, even if it's with someone else. That's another thing about becoming a mother – you learn to value the happiness of those you love more than your own.

Besides, more than anything, she's just sad that he's leaving. Again.

And this time, what reason does he have to come back?

Toph walks slowly back to the wedding, not quite in the mood for the 'celebrating' she mentioned to Katara. The music is loud and energetic, and once Toph finally gets back to the party, her senses are somewhat overwhelmed. It's quite a large wedding – Toph wonders if the entire Southern Water Tribe travelled here for it. It certainly feels like it. She can sense Sokka huddled in a group of fellow warriors and men from the tribe, all chugging back their ales as their women swoon from a distance. The other nations represented at the party seem to be enjoying the excuse to let loose and abandon their more refined customs in favor of a proper Water Tribe gathering. Toph would normally be all for it, but again, she's not quite in the celebrating mood tonight.

She senses that Katara has found Aang somewhere in the crowd, and she notes that the waterbender seems surprisingly uninterested in joining the huddle of her fellow tribespeople. Though, Toph suspects she's probably just trying to avoid Kahlia (it's no secret that Katara isn't the biggest supporter of her brother's relationship, and now, perhaps Toph understands why).

Moving on, Toph senses some other familiar steps in the crowd: Zuko and Mai, conversing politely with the Earth King and his wife. A few of her officers, sipping beer instead of keeping watch (she makes a mental note to reprimand them later). Kyoshi warriors, sprinkled about and wearing far less makeup than usual as they enjoy a night off duty. Even Suki is here. She's married now too, and Toph feels a flicker of envy that Sokka's ex-long-term-girlfriend is more at peace with this whole affair than she is.

Toph trails the outskirts of the dance floor, avoiding most of the crowd until she's by the buffet table. She debates indulging in a bit of booze herself (everyone else at this shindig is), but she's got a toddler she needs to get to bed soon, so better not. Speaking of.

Toph does another quick scan with her seismic sense, searching for her daughter. She expects to find her with the other kids, or with Tenzin anyway, but she's surprised when she senses Lin hiding under one of the banquet tables.

Then again, maybe she shouldn't be surprised. In some ways, Lin is a lot like her mother – even at only three years of age, Lin has clearly inherited her mother's stubbornness and observant nature. However, unlike her mother, Lin tends to be quite reserved most of the time. She likes rules and structure, something Toph didn't really appreciate until she was older. She's a well-mannered, quiet kid – Toph was well-mannered and quiet as a kid too, but only because she had to be. Lin, it seems, is just naturally calm. Smart too.

Of course, she's still only three years old, so she's playful and silly and all the things a kid should be. But she's also clearly an introvert, and she doesn't really warm up to other children as quickly as Toph might prefer. She's usually glued to Tenzin's side, who similarly, is quite a reserved toddler. But other than that, Lin mostly prefers the company and attention of older people.

Which is why, Toph decides she is not that surprised to find her daughter not off playing with the other kids at the party, but instead hiding under the table and being looked after by an old friend.

Toph approaches the table with a slice of cake in hand and a sly, amused smile. "Hmmm, I seemed to have lost my Little Badgermole." She turns in the direction of her old friend, sitting at the table, and plasters on a voice of mock concern, "You haven't seen her by any chance, have you?"

"Hmmm," Iroh plays along, tapping his chin, voice ragged with age, "No signs of any badgermoles here. Perhaps she's hiding in a cave, somewhere?"

Both adults smile when they hear the wild giggling coming from under the table, and Toph senses her daughter crouch further underneath the linens, happily playing along with this impromptu game of hide and seek.

"Well, if you do see her," Toph starts, "Please tell her that if she wants another slice of wedding cake before bed, she'd better hurry, or I'm going to eat it for her."

That seems to do the trick. Lin quickly pops out from under the table, running with her little legs and wrapping her arms around Toph's calves, over the thick fabric of her dress. "I'm here, mama! I'm here! I got – I gotchu, mama!"

"Ah, you got me!" Toph laughs, feigning surprise. She shuffles forward a few feet, Lin in tow, and places the cake on the table. Hands finally free, she bends down to pick up her daughter, blowing raspberries on the toddler's cheek as she hoists her up. "Are you keeping Iroh company, little one?"

Lin nods enthusiastically, eager to please her mother, and Iroh pipes up from his seat, "Your daughter is wise beyond her years."

Toph smiles kindly in the direction of the older man (she's always had a soft spot for him), before taking the seat across from him. "Coming from you, that's quite the compliment." She places Lin in the seat next to her and slides the plate of cake to her – a successful attempt at keeping her occupied.

Admittedly, it's been way too long since Toph has shared Iroh's company, and she tries not to think about just how old he is getting. He's somewhere in his eighties at this point, and his body reflects it. Toph feels how his spine has condensed, his posture weighed down with age, and she tries not to outwardly flinch at just how often Iroh has to clear his throat, and just how painfully scratchy it sounds when he does.

Toph talks with him for a while, mostly about his tea shop and her work as chief, though she keeps out the Yakone stuff (no need to stress out an old man). She half expects him to know about it anyway, and to impart some words of wisdom and consolation, like Katara. She's not sure if she's glad or not that he ultimately doesn't. Not that he sees her often enough to be aware of all her personal troubles…still, he's always had a way of seeing past the surface, and it saddens her to realize that he's not quite aware as he used to be.

She tries to distract herself from these thoughts by stealing a bite of cake from her daughter, but before she can grab a piece, with a whine of protest, Lin pulls the plate out of her reach. Before she can give her daughter a lesson on sharing (she's not really that bothered anyway), she feels another friend approaching.

"Hey, Toph. Hey, Uncle," Zuko greets, as he walks up to the table. He bows respectfully to his uncle, then crouches down next to Lin's seat, addressing the toddler, "And hello to you, Miss Lin. Are you enjoying that cake?"

Lin gives the Firelord a wide grin, her frosting covered cheeks spreading wide as she bats her eyelashes, "Yeah! You…You wan some?"

"Oh, sure," Toph quips from her seat, with mock offense, "You won't share with your own mother, but anything for Hotstuff, huh, Lin?"

Lin merely giggles at her mother's outrage. She sticks out her tongue, blowing a raspberry in Toph's direction before turning her attention back to Zuko. It's no secret that the kid is quite taken with all her uncle figures, especially the mysterious, handsome, and royal Zuko (Lin's going through a bit of a princess phase, at the moment). Toph rolls her eyes, but finds her cheeks spreading just as wide as her daughter's.

Zuko smiles at the toddler, graciously, "That's okay, Lin. I'm too full for cake, but you enjoy it. I was actually hoping I could steal your mother for a dance?"

"Okay," Lin shrugs, clearly disappointed that the firebender isn't asking her to dance, but she quickly recovers as she turns her attention back to her dessert.

Zuko stands up from his crouching position and extends a hand towards Toph, only to be met with crossed arms and an indignant, pouting expression.

"Nah-uh," Toph declines, petulantly, "There is no way you're getting me up on that dance floor. Besides, you're a married man – go twirl around with Lady Knives. That sounds fun."

Zuko rolls his eyes, but keeps his hand outstretched, undeterred, "Come on, Toph. It's just a dance - it won't kill you."

"Pfft. Says you," Toph mutters, before adding, "Look, I know you're just trying to get me out on the dance floor so you can give me some pep-talk about how I'm not destined to be forever alone. Well don't bother – Katara already tried."

Zuko opens his mouth to respond, but Iroh interrupts from across the table, encouraging, "Go on, Toph. A little dancing is a great way to lift the spirits." He pauses to release a hoarse-sounding laugh, amused at something, then adds, "I promise, Lu Ten is a great dancer."

A pang of remorse immediately fills Toph's chest at the older man's slip up, but Iroh doesn't even seem to notice his mistake. An uncomfortable pause passes over the other two adults - Lin blissfully unaware of the sudden tension - and Toph can't help but feel a deep sense of sorrow for Zuko. He opens his mouth to correct his uncle, but once again, a voice interrupts him.

"You know what," Toph says, forcing a smile onto her face. She senses Zuko's extended hand, slightly dropped now, and takes it, "Maybe a dance doesn't sound so bad. Lead the way, Fancy Feet."

Zuko sends her a grateful smile, one that she doesn't see so much as feels, as he leads her onto the dance floor.

It's not long before Zuko's free hand falls to the small of her back, pulling her to his chest as they dance to what happens to be a slow song. Against her will, a blush fights its way onto Toph's cheeks at the closeness of the gesture. It's been a while since she's indulged in the warmth of a man – in any capacity - and she can't deny that it feels nice to have someone's hands on her again, regardless of how platonic it is.

But platonic it is, so the brief fluttering of her heart quickly putters into sorrow once more, as Zuko comments, "Uncle has been doing that a lot lately."

For once, Toph doesn't know how to respond. Her usual method of comfort is tough love, but that doesn't feel quite right in this instance. So, simply, she offers, "I'm sorry, Zuko."

"It's okay," Zuko says, just as simply, though the burden of grief is clear in his voice.

He spins them gently to the music, and Toph lets him take the lead as both their minds slip into thought. She can guess what Zuko is thinking about, as her own mind wanders to thoughts of Iroh, and how cruel the process of growing up can be. Just like she had to grow up and learn the truths of crime and war. Just like Sokka had to grow up and get married. A cruel reality.

Toph mentally smacks her wrists at the thought. No Toph. You're happy for him. Besides, getting married is not cruel – it's just a part of life. As is growing old, like Iroh.

It's not cruel, but it does seem awfully unfair. And as Katara said – I guess life is just unfair that way. Maybe Toph and her waterbender friend do see the world similarly, in some ways.

Shaking the somber thoughts from her head, Toph forces another wry smile as she prompts her friend, "Okay, so you got me out on the dance floor. Go ahead."

"Go ahead and what?" Zuko counters, sounding just as wry.

Rolling her eyes, fondly, "You know what. Go ahead with the lecture - I know you want to."

Zuko shrugs as he continues to lead them through their dance. His raspy voice is pleasantly low, "Hey, Katara already tried, right? Besides, who said I was here for a lecture? Maybe I just wanted to dance with you."

Toph turns her head up an inch, fixing him with a skeptical look. "You know, it's a good thing you're married, or I'd think you were coming onto me."

Zuko releases a quiet, yet amused laugh, "Huh. I seem to recall that we've been down that road before. How'd that turn out?"

"Don't pretend you didn't like it," Toph lifts a teasing brow, and she feels strangely satisfied by the spike in her friend's heart rate, "I seem to recall you saying I was a good kisser, no?"

"Hmmm," Zuko purses his lips, matching her teasing expression, "Pretty sure it was you who said that to me."

"Pfft," with a wicked grin, "Pretty sure your boner said it for you."

"Toph!" Zuko lets out a scandalized grunt before looking around, checking to make sure no one else on the dance floor heard (Toph doesn't tell him that she senses a few surrounding heart rates pick up, just as scandalized).

She releases an impish laugh at his expense, and she feels Zuko's heart rate continue to beat at a rapid pace, but only because he joins in on her laughter. It's light and it's friendly, and she suspects that it's a healing moment for both of them. She's not the only one with problems, and between the stress of growing up and the reminders of growing old, it feels good to act a little childish again.

Her giggles soon die down though, subdued by a sense of nostalgia. She swallows a memory, "Hard to believe that was ten years ago, huh?"

"A lot has changed," Zuko agrees. His gaze shifts over Toph's shoulder, and he spots a familiar face in the crowd. He notices, with no surprise at all, that the groom is looking over at them, a strange look on his face. "Then again, a lot hasn't."

Toph hums her agreement, unaware of Zuko's gaze. Then, quizzically, she asks, "So, why'd you really ask me to dance?"

Zuko is quiet for a moment, as he seems to mull something over. They continue to move on the dance floor, and Toph wonders if he's going to answer her at all. But then, under his breath, "Because it makes me sad to see you this lonely."

With a stunned expression, Toph stills as she pulls back from her friend's embrace. If it were any other time, that kind of admission would earn a swift and hard punch to the arm. The last thing she wants is pity… But, there's something about the bluntness and sincerity of his words that stops her, deterring her motivation to fight.

Zuko is right…so much has changed in the last decade. Yet, one painful thing has not changed all that much. Even after all these years, a series of men in-between, she is still…undeniably… lonely.

"And you don't deserve to be," Zuko adds, a little firmer, just as his eyes flicker past her shoulder once again.

Before Toph can find an adequate response, and before she can properly sense the approach, she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Zuko steps away from Toph and offers a polite bow - a gesture that is much too formal considering who it is that interrupted them. He gives a curt nod before walking away towards his wife, leaving Toph alone with her new dance partner. Well, not alone alone. The dance floor is filled with other couples swaying to the music – another slow song – but in Toph's mind, everyone else disappears when Sokka takes her hand in his.

"May I have this dance, Lady Toph?" He plasters on an overly posh voice, trying to be funny as he bows dramatically, placing a gentlemanly kiss on the back of her hand. His lips are warm and soft, but the gesture strikes her heart like a pickax, breaking it into pieces.

Toph frowns as she reluctantly peels her hand out of Sokka's grasp. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"What, why?" Sokka asks. He sounds genuinely hurt, but he also sounds like he already knows the answer. But he presses anyway, "You're really going to deny a dance with your best friend on his wedding day?"

"That's the thing, Sokka," Toph's expression remains pained as she speaks gently, "You're a married man now."

"So?" Sokka says, and Toph can hear the sulk in his voice, "Zuko is a married man, and you were just dancing with him."

That's different.

She doesn't say it, but she knows he understands anyway. It's been this way for a while now. When he started dating. When he got engaged. And now, at his wedding. They never resolved their feelings – and what has it done but create another, more rigid line in the sand? A line that they can no longer even think about crossing – not even an inch.

In that moment, Toph becomes distinctly aware of Kahlia's gaze on them, and even from a distance, she can feel the ire behind it. Again, it's been this way for a while now – pretty much since Kahlia and Sokka started dating. Toph hasn't bothered to ask Sokka if he told his girlfriend (now wife) about their history. Regardless, it's clear to Toph that Kahlia doesn't like her.

The sad thing is though, Toph actually does like Kahlia – or at least, she would if it weren't for the circumstances. She's a kind woman, but not dull or overly frilly like a lot of the other women Sokka has dated. She's witty, can take a punch, and knows how to have a good time. And, on the outside, Toph and Kahlia have an amicable relationship. They're not close by any means, but they're friendly. Of course, Toph understands the phoniness behind it, and would ordinarily detest the lack of authenticity, but she can't exactly blame Kahlia for being wary of Toph's relationship with Sokka. Sokka has devoted a lot of time to helping Toph with Lin. Plus, the problem with unresolved feelings is that it leads to unresolved tension. If the shoe were on the other foot, Toph would probably be wary too.

Regardless, she decided a long time ago to overlook Kahlia's mistrust, and to not add any fuel to that fire. Kahlia makes Sokka happy, and Toph isn't going to get in the way of that.

But Sokka doesn't make it easy…

Like now, as he again takes her hand in his, and doesn't let go. "Please, Toph," he almost sounds desperate, "For me."

Toph rolls her eyes in response, hating just how pleasant his voice sounds to her ears. She feels the heat will its way onto her cheeks once again, and before her better judgement can deter her, she finds herself saying, "Ugh, fine. Just don't step on my feet, Snoozles."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he says, in a voice that is way too husky to be deemed appropriate.

Sokka interlocks their fingers, while his other hand falls - a little lower than it probably should be - to her waist. Toph's free hand falls to Sokka's shoulder, and he pulls her chest against his. Her breath involuntarily hitches at the close proximity, and just as it did with Zuko, her heart flutters. Except this time, it doesn't stop.

It dawns on Toph that they haven't been this close since…well, since intimacy was a regular part of their friendship. That intimacy had been lost long before Sokka started dating someone else. How ironic that they find it again at his wedding?

They're close enough that Toph can feel Sokka's breath on her forehead, and Toph dips her head in an effort to avoid the gaze he's surely giving her, even if she can't see it. He smells faintly like alcohol, but more overwhelmingly and more pleasantly like aftershave, and Toph fights the urge to inhale in his clean, masculine scent. Sokka pulls her in even closer, his chin resting against the top of her head as she rests her cheek against his chest. If she wasn't so short, they'd be dancing cheek to cheek.

But they don't dance so much as sway, and Toph almost finds herself lost in a trance. She wishes they could stay like this – that she could pretend the rest of the world didn't exist. Pretend that she had said and done the right things. Pretend that he had chosen her. That she had been the right woman for him. That Sokka wasn't married to someone else. That Iroh wasn't getting older. That Yakone was behind bars. That Lin had a father. That she wasn't so alone. That he wasn't leaving.

Toph finds herself mumbling against his chest, "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"The ship leaves at dawn," he answers, and Toph wonders how someone can sound so happy and sad at the same time.

Toph, I'm going to ask her to marry me. He had sounded happy and sad then too.

That's great, Sokka. Toph remembers telling him. She remembers the deep pang of regret she felt as she had forced a smile. Did you make her a betrothal necklace?

I did. Sokka had handed her the necklace for inspection, and Toph let her fingers smooth over the stone, mapping out the intricately carved Water Tribe design – a reminder of the culture she would never share with him. A reminder of yet another thing that Toph could not offer him. A reminder that she would now be an outsider in Sokka's life.

There's something else, he had said to her, and Toph somehow already knew what he was going to say.

She had given the necklace back to her friend, somehow resisting the urge to crush the stone in her hands. Oh?

We're moving back to the Southern Water Tribe. He had no longer sounded happy then. Just sad.

He had gone on about how it was his duty. How his father won't be around forever. How, even though he hasn't even been elected yet, he needs to start training to be Chieftain now. How a real man knows where he's needed.

Didn't he know how much he was needed here? How much she needed him?

Besides, while none of his excuses where lies, they didn't tell the full truth either. Toph wasn't an idiot. She knew the real reason Sokka was leaving, and her name was Kahlia. Kahlia is a nice woman, overall, but she has a manipulative streak that Sokka often falls victim to.

"Will you come say goodbye tomorrow?" Sokka whispers his plea, pulling Toph out of her thoughts.

She lifts her head off his chest, turning her blind gaze up to his eyes, speaking gently, "Not this time, Sokka."

"Okay," He nods, solemnly, as if he expected this answer, "Then let's enjoy the time we have left."

They continue to sway, and the jazzy, slow tones of the tsungi horns strike a chord in Toph. It's a tender, bittersweet moment, and Toph does her best to focus on the sweet part. If this is the last time she'll be with Sokka for a while, she wants to end on a good note.

She rests her cheek against Sokka's chest once again, and she listens for his heartbeat. It's no longer erratic or unsure of itself, like it was when they were young. Now, it's steady and strong.

"You know," Toph starts, her voice uncharacteristically soft, "In case I didn't say it already - I'm really happy for you, Sokka."

She hears the smile in his voice. "Come on. Don't go getting all soft on me, Toph."

She lets out a half-laugh, but remains serious as she says, "I just want you to be happy, Sokka."

"Toph," he says her name like a prayer. He pulls away from her, releasing her hand and moving to grip her shoulders instead. If Toph wasn't blind, she would see Sokka's searching expression. "I want you to be happy too."

Her eyes crinkle involuntarily, another pained expression. Before she can respond (she's not sure how to respond anyway), she feels a pair of little arms wrap around her legs.

"Mama, mama!" Lin beckons. Grateful for the distraction, Toph kneels down to pick up her daughter, and her pained expression wilts away. Lin is her happiness.

"Linny Bear," Sokka bends down slightly to greet the toddler, affection clear in his voice, "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Y-yeah." Lin nods, wiping at her tired eyes, "Mama's a pwincess."

"Princess?" Toph raises an indignant brow. "Did Iroh tell you that?"

"No. Na Iroh. Unca Sokka!"

"Say what now?" Toph narrows her brows, and she feels Sokka shrug, clearly just as confused as she is.

"Unca Sokka said pwincesses wear pwetty dresses," Lin pokes her finger at her mother's chest, her little voice squeaking, "You wearing a pwetty dress. So, you're a pwincess, mama!"

"Hard to argue with that." Sokka sounds an amused, fond laugh. If her arms weren't full, Toph would probably punch him for that. She settles for rolling her eyes.

Toph bends to put Lin back on her feet, and the toddler shifts to tug on Sokka's pant-leg, keeping his attention. "Mama's pwetty, Unca Sokka."

It wasn't a question, but Sokka answers anyway, his voice low against the music, "She is, Lin. Beautiful."

Why does he have to make this so hard?

Toph feels her chest constrict, and another blush find its way onto her cheeks. Sokka crouches down in front of Lin and raises his voice excitedly, his well-rehearsed 'uncle' voice, "And so are you, Linny Bear!" The toddler rolls into a fit of giggles as her uncle blows a raspberry on her cheek and traps her in a bear hug.

So easy to love, so hard to let him go.

"Alright, Little Badgermole," Toph starts, suddenly needing to get away, "We should get you home to bed."

Normally, Toph and Lin would just stay on the island rather than go home this late. But with so many people visiting from the tribe, all of the rooms are taken (that, and Toph doesn't really want to be here in the morning, when Sokka leaves with his new wife).

Lin looks up at her mom, "Can Unca Sokka come?"

Another blush, blooming red. This time, she knows Sokka is blushing too. Toph joins in on the crouching position, careful with her words, "Lin. We talked about this. Uncle Sokka has to leave tomorrow, remember?"

"Bu – but why?" Lin whines, her tiny voice sounding so sad. "Where are you going, Unca Sokka?"

Sokka opens his mouth to answer, but Toph beats him to it. "Lin, remember what you said about princesses? That they wear pretty dresses?"

Lin nods her head, and Sokka quirks a brow, confused.

Toph points in the direction of Sokka's bride, who Toph knows is watching the scene, carefully. "See your Aunt Kahlia over there?"

Lin hesitates. She's never heard her mom refer to Sokka's lady friend as her aunt before. In a small voice, "Yeah. I see er."

"Well, see what a pretty dress she's wearing?" Toph says, gambling. She obviously can't see the bride's gown, but she assumes it must be impressive, since it is a wedding dress after all.

She senses Lin nod, still hesitant. Sokka stands up slowly, his knees popping as he does so. His head turns, and Toph wonders if his eyes find his bride, and what he's thinking when he sees her.

"Well tonight, because she's wearing such a pretty dress, Kahlia is the princess," Toph forces some enthusiasm, "And guess what!?"

"What!?" Lin asks, enraptured by the promise of a fairytale.

"Well, your Uncle Sokka and the princess got married tonight. Do you know what that means?"

Lin shakes her head, eyes and ears wide, eagerly listening.

Again, Toph forces a happy smile, trying her best to be theatrical. "That means Uncle Sokka is a prince!"

The toddler releases a gasp of amazement. Toph scoops her up again and balances Lin on her hip as she stands up.

"Wow," Lin looks at her uncle - awe in her eyes, "Pwince Sokka!"

He offers a wry expression, addressing Toph, "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

Toph finds herself smiling in return, genuinely this time. She shoots him a teasing expression, "Now we're even."

Again, Sokka says, "Hard to argue with that…" His face turns mischievous, "Princess Toph."

Rolling her eyes once more (and trying to hide her blushing smile), she turns her attention back to the kid in her arms. Then, her expression falls. "Lin. Prince Sokka and Princess Kahlia have to go live in a castle now. But that castle is far away. Do you understand?"

Lin nods her head. "Can we go too?"

Toph swallows the sudden lump in her throat. "No, Little Badgermole. We can't."

"Why, Mama?"

Toph opens her mouth to respond, but finds no words able to come out. How do you tell a kid that the man you love is moving away, off to start his life with someone else?

Thankfully, Sokka takes over, "Hey, Lin. I promise, I am going to visit you and your mother every chance I get! Besides, you wouldn't like the castle." He wrinkles his nose, feigning distaste, "It's much too cold."

"How cold?" The toddler questions, skeptically.

"This cold!" Sokka widens his arms, dramatically, "It's all ice!"

"Ice?" Lin makes a genuine face of distaste, like it's the most outrageous thing she's ever heard, "Unca Sokka! Ewe!"

Unca Sokka releases a booming laugh, and even Toph's expression flickers with a real smile again. She only now realizes that there are far less heads on the dance floor, signaling the party's end (and letting her know that it's well past Lin's bedtime). She isn't usually too strict with these things (far from it), but even she knows a toddler isn't meant to be up this late. As if on cue, Lin let's out a wide yawn.

"Alright," Toph starts again, "Let's get you home to bed, Badgermole."

Lin rubs at her tired eyes. "Okay, Mama."

"Say goodbye to Uncle Sokka, little one."

Lin looks again at her uncle, her voice falling, "Bye Bye, Unca Sokka. I'll miss you."

Now it's Sokka's expression that falls, and Toph can hear him choke on emotion, "I'll miss you too, Linny Bear. You know how much?"

Lin shakes her head, and Sokka stretches his arms out again, as wide as they can go, "This much!"

Before either of the Beifong girls can protest, Sokka takes his outstretched arms and wraps them around the pair, trapping them in another bear-like hug.

With her arms holding Lin, Toph can't do much to return the hug, but she allows herself to enjoy Sokka's embrace - imprinting it to memory. She tucks her head into his chest, and for another brief moment, she allows herself to pretend that he is hers. That she's the right person for him. That he's not leaving. That the three of them can stay like this forever. Heck, she'd even go live in some far away ice castle, if it meant not having to say goodbye.

"Prince Sokka." In spite of everything, Toph laughs at the new nickname. Then, she whispers against his chest, so low that she doubts he can hear it, "I'll miss you."

But he does hear it.

"I'll miss you, too, Princess Toph."

Against her will, Toph finds herself fighting a sniffle. Without thinking, she asks, "How much?"

He releases a wet sounding laugh, and his arms tighten around Toph and her squirming toddler. Then, "My arms don't stretch that far."

AN

I know guys, I know. Still a few more stops on the angsty train, I'm afraid.

Sorry it took me a while to post this chapter. I wouldn't say I had writer's block so much as I had writer's reluctance. I know where I want this story to go, and I'm proud of how this turned out…but damn, it was still hard writing this chapter, and I was nervous about posting it!

I wanted this chapter to read sort of as an identity crisis for Toph. Her best friend and the person she loves is not only married to someone else, but is moving away. Not only that, but she's doubting her abilities - the one thing she's always been so sure of. Definitely a rough patch for her.

Ps. Don't worry - we'll explore Sokka's mindset soon enough.

Also, if you want to see what I had in mind for Toph's outfit, go google "green hanfu." Or, just go google hanfus in general. OMG They are STUNNING!