Disclaimer: I don't own it. At all.
Thanks to oxnate for beta-reading.
This Year's Boy
By Kylia
Chapter 9: The Council, Riding In With A Plan
February 25th, 2000
Angel's Apartment, Los Angeles
Right. Totally gonna go out there and talk to them. Wesley was apparently not useless anymore, or so Cordelia and Angel seemed convinced, and he certainly seemed less useless; but on the other hand, he'd sicced the Council's goons on Faith last year so...
On the other hand, going up against the evil lawyers and their goons with guns - it would be nice if they had some help. And since the lawyers worked for demons and vampires, the Council shouldn't like them either.
On the mutant third hand, they're the fucking Council, and they'd also probably try to kill Angel. Which Buffy wouldn't like, and technically is probably a bad thing. Technically. Probably.
Okay, fine it is a bad thing, even if I don't want to admit it.
"What do they want?" Xander crossed his arms in front of his chest, then immediately dropped them down to his sides.
"They want to get your body out of the hands of Wolfram and Hart, and then, once you're back in your own body, they'll deal with her." He frowned, "Almost certainly by killing her, though I understand the Inner Council is still debating if she should be summarily shot or brought back to England before her execution." Wesley's distaste for the idea was very obvious, and very British in the stiff way he spoke of it, but since everyone else had agreed killing Faith was the best plan they had available - which it was...
Well, Wesley didn't seem like he was going to argue it. Especially not if the Council wanted it too.
The whole plan made sense - except for the fact that the Council hadn't cared that they had the wrong person before.
Xander wanted to believe they were gonna help get him back in his body, and then really didn't care what they did to Faith after that. But he wasn't going to just step out there so they could try to grab him. Or just shoot him. Even with Buffy there too.
"Last time, they didn't really care who was inside Faith's body, when I told them it was me. Why do they care now?" Xander asked. Then he turned to Cordelia. "Can I actually trust him here?" He gestured to Wesley, ignoring the indignant 'hey!' from him.
Cordelia nodded without hesitation. "Yes. You can trust him. The Council are all a bunch of backstabbing jerks, but we already knew that."
Cordelia's endorsement of Wesley here counted for a lot. At the very least Wesley wasn't setting him up, Xander could be sure. Cordelia wouldn't bullshit him, even for Wesley's benefit, and she was - when you got right down to it - a solid judge of what someone's character was really like, when she cared enough to know. And completely, often brutally, honest.
Xander looked over to Buffy, curious for her thoughts.
"I hate to say it, but we could use their help." Xander stared at her, surprised to hear her say it so bluntly, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Willow doing the same thing. Buffy hesitated for a moment, then, "they have guns. And Wolfram and Hart has guns. So... we could use their help."
"And when Buffy's saying we should let the Council help..." Xander chuckled. "Alright. But I'm not going to go out there and talk to them. They want to help, they can come in. It's not like they need an invitation from Angel."
"Very well," Wesley nodded, and he opened the door, gesturing at them. No verbal invites - probably a force of habit for any Watcher.
The same three goons who'd had him before walked in, though this time none of them were holding weapons, and the boss one was holding a lit cigarette, which he brought up to his mouth and took a long drag on.
"Allow me to introduce Collins," Wesley gestured to the boss, then the other two in turn. "Weatherby," the one with a five o'clock shadow, "and Smith." the third one.
"Absolutely charmed," Xander said in a terrible British accent that sounded even more terrible in Faith's voice.
"Mister Harris," Collins said, a slight, not at all friendly looking smirk as he said 'Mister'. Xander grit his teeth, like he always did when someone called him that. "On the behalf of the Watchers' Council, I'd like to extend my apologies for the... misunderstanding previously."
"Yeah. Misunderstanding. That's what we can call it, sure," Xander rolled his eyes. "I told you who I was. You made it pretty clear that mattered less to you than getting this body to England."
"It doesn't matter. Slayer's a slayer, whoever's in their head," Weatherby muttered, but the boss raised his hand and silenced him.
"That was, as I said, a misunderstanding," he replied blandly, taking another pull on his cigarette. Don't they call them fags in Brit-land? Not that Xander got what a nasty word for a gay guy and a cigarette had in common, but whatever. "We could hardly believe that claim when we were under the misapprehension you were a dangerous murderer. You could have been lying."
"And now that you know that I'm not?" Xander was actually a little curious how they'd gone and decided that he hadn't been lying then and was still telling the truth now. Giles wouldn't have called them, and if they could trust Wesley as Cordelia promised, he wouldn't have either.
But he also wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth - or a gift special operations wetworks team in the gun, for that matter.
Trust? Never. But that was different.
"Well, since you're not guilty of Miss Lehane's crimes, there would be no reason to have you pay for them. And the Council doesn't like the idea of Wolfram and Hart having the ability to tell a Slayer what to do. As I'm sure they no doubt plan to do, given that they have your body," Collins smirked again.
"It would be better if we can get you back to your body and then we can simply deal with Miss Lehane," the third one, Smith, added, sounding almost like he gave a shit about Xander, and regretful about killing Faith. Almost. So what is this? Good cop, bad cop, crazy cop?
"A new slayer, back in the fight," Collins concluded. "Has Wolfram and Hart contacted you?"
"Yeah." Xander nodded. "They want me to kill Angel."
"Wolfram and Hart wants a vampire dead?" Weatherby laughed, and absolutely sounding crazy while he did it. "Might as well let them have that one."
"Say that again," Buffy said, dangerously, and Weatherby's hand went inside his coat. Collins cleared his throat, and Weatherby pulled his hand back out.
"I made it very clear when I brought you here that Angel was off-limits," Wesley said sternly, stepping around the three of them and looking Collins in the eye, with a certain stiff determination he'd never shown in Sunnydale.
"And we certainly have no intention of harming him," Collins said, holding his free hand up placatingly.
"Good plan," Angel said, stepping into view from the dark corner he'd been lounging in. He had his hands in his coat pockets, looking all 'mysterious' like he always did. Tortured and brooding and all that shit.
"Angelus," Collins nodded. "As I said, we're here to deal with a rogue slayer."
"Besides, Angel's been doing more to help save people than you three could ever do," Cordelia snarked. "You look like a bunch of knockoff Bond goons. And not even from a Sean Connery movie, but a George Lazenby one."
Xander couldn't help it and he started to snigger, but he covered his mouth after a moment. Cordelia had a point. Weatherby glared furiously, Smith actually seemed to be amused, given the way he seemed to be looking away, but smiling a little, and Collins didn't change his expression at all.
"So, you're here to help, how do you plan to do that?" he said after a moment, taking a breath. "Three extra people, even with guns, doesn't seem like enough to break into an office building full of bad guys."
"No. Breaking into Wolfram and Hart without an inside man is virtually impossible," Collins confirmed, once more pulling on his cigarette.
"And that's enough of that too," Angel said, walking towards Collins. "Put it out."
Collins started at angel for a long moment, then he nodded, dropping the cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his foot, meeting Angel's eye the whole time. Angel frowned, but didn't do anything else.
"Getting inside is simple enough, even for Angel. All Wolfram and Hart locations have vampire detectors, but as long as one looks like they belong, security won't give them any trouble. But once you're past the front door... well, finding out and getting to wherever they're keeping your body and Miss Lehane with it would be much more difficult." Collins went on. "And of course, there'd be the small matter of actually getting back out with it, and her."
"They want me dead. I don't think walking in the front door is a great idea," Angel pointed out.
"Most people who work at Wolfram and Hart have little to do with Special Projects. They wouldn't recognize you if you danced in front of them wearing a funny hat," Anya chimed in. "Or even if you danced naked, wearing a funny hat."
"Quite," Collins said quickly before anyone could say anything else. Xander tried not to laugh at the idea of Angel dancing in a funny hat - and then was less amused by the follow up mental image from Anya's second comment.
"The long and short of it is, simply breaking in is easier said than done. On the other hand, Wolfram and Hart may think they have all the cards, but they don't," the man went on. "At the end of the day, Wolfram and Hart is a business."
"So what, we pay them to let Xander have his body back?" Cordelia asked. "I don't think any of us have the kind of money that would make them not want Angel dead. He's messed up a lot of cases for them, and killed clients."
"Exactly." Collins looked at Xander, raising one eyebrow.
Xander inhaled sharply, trying to work out what the guy was suggesting. But he couldn't quite make the connection.
"Oh!" Willow explained, and he turned to her, where she was standing by Tara, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I got it!" She looked like she did in class when she had the answer the teacher wanted to whatever question they just wanted. "Wolfram and Hart represents demons and vampires, and they're angry because Angel's killed some of them. Which is why they want him dusted." She looked over at Angel, "Sorry," then she looked back to Collins. "But you're suggesting we go after more of their clients until they give up Xander's body."
"At the end of the day, everything is about cost and benefit for Wolfram and Hart. If you make them decide that keeping your body is more expensive than not - they can always try to find a different way to kill Angel. But they don't have another good way to stop two very motivated Slayers from hacking their way through some of their most important and lucrative clients."
"It could work," Anya agreed. "The only thing they listen to is money. Or power."
"I'm happy to stick around, slay as many of their demon and vampire clients as we need to to make a point," Buffy agreed. "Xander? You up for it?"
"Up for having a bit more fun with superpowers on the way to being me again?" Xander nodded. "I like the idea. Only... what's to stop them from just killing my body, or hacking little bits of it off until I stop killing their clients? That's what they threatened to do if I don't kill Angel in 24 hours."
"Quite a good question," Collins admitted. "I suppose we'll need a plan for that."
Xander narrowed his eyes at Collins. There was something -
He's up to something. Xander didn't know what - he seemed pretty clear on wanting to get Xander's body out of Wolfram and Hart's hands. Xander's bullshit detector hadn't gone off for that.
But what else did he want? Because...
He wanted something else too.
February 25th, 2000
Secure Room, Wolfram and Hart L.A.
There were a lot of things in the world that Faith Lehane didn't like. Most people, being told what to do, prudes, judgemental bitches, her mom's endless parade of pimps-slash-boyfriends, and so on.
But on the top of that list had to be - time alone, with nothing to do but think. And with nothing to think about but herself, and her situation and how she'd gotten herself into it.
And given the situation she was in, chained by the ankle to the wall in a bare, blank room with no TV, no stereo, not even a book or some sort of trashy tabloid. Just four blank walls, a cot, a tiny table and a chair, a toilet and a sink.
The chain was long enough that she could walk around the entire room, except for the wall close to the door. But if she'd been in her own body, she could have handled the chain, no problem. Sure, it was tough, might have taken some time, but she could have done it.
But not while she was in Xander's useless body.
Of course, all her current problems were because of Xander's useless body and her being in it.
Shoulda fucking moved faster to find B and switch with her. Or just gone straight for her, not wasted my fuckin' time with Xander, taking him hostage. I could have killed him, let that be one more thing 'Faith' got blamed for.
She'd had it all planned out, how she was going to steal Buffy's perfect life, let that stupid 'perfect' bitch get a taste of how people in the real world lived. Let Buffy suffer the consequences.
She was the one who deserved them, anyway.
It was all her fault. She tossed that stupid Finch guy to me, she wouldn't just shut up about him being dead, she stopped me from running from Sunnydale originally - she stopped Wilkins. She killed him!
Faith felt rage boil up in her again at the thought of Mayor Wilkins' death. Sure, he'd been planning on snacking on hundreds of high school students, and launching some evil take over the world or whatever, but he'd given a shit about her. He'd helped her, cared about her. Listened to her.
And he was dead because Buffy had killed him.
And then you went and wasted the gift he gave you. A little voice in the back of Faith's head reminded her.
"Shut up!" she hissed at herself, as if that would make her brain stay quiet, even though she knew that wasn't going to happen.
It's your record of successes. You don't have any. That Lilah bitch's words bounced around her skull, as they had the entire time since she'd said them, and Faith couldn't deny them. Everything she'd tried she'd failed - and when it had really mattered, it had failed, and she'd failed and now she was here.
And then they'll kill me because Xander's too fucking gutless to kill Angel when his precious Buffy would disapprove. She was going to die because it was his fault - again.
Not that she'd be in this position if she hadn't screwed up. Again. And again. And again.
All because she'd killed one fucking guy. One boring, useless fucking guy. And B couldn't just let it go.
It had been a fucking accident!
Jumping up off the cot, growling a little with frustration as her mind kept moving, kept thinking, kept reminding her of her failures, her screwups, everything she'd ever done wrong to get herself here, Faith started to pace.
She wasn't breaking out of here. She had nothing to do it with. Yet.
Xander's body's not completely useless in the strength department. Nothing on a slayer, but I could punch someone. If she was lucky, someone came in alone... maybe she could make something work.
Or when they tried to hand her back over to Buffy and Xander and all their little friends. She could try to run then, or run once she had her body back.
"No, scratch that, they'll find a way to make sure you can't run before they swap. Chains - better chains than this one, probably. Or more magic from Red and her little friend," Faith muttered to herself. She ran her fingers through her hair - Xander's hair, Xander's fingers, what the fuck ever - as she tried to think of something. Anything.
I could just fucking stab myself. Screw them all over. If she broke the table leg off, she might be able to fall on the sharp end...
If she was gonna die no matter what, might as well die getting revenge. On Xander. On B. On Wolfram and Hart. They couldn't even hope to get Xander to kill Angel if his body was dead.
No. Much as she loved the idea of getting revenge that way, she didn't have any good way to do it here, to herself.
But the idea... winning, by dying.
If she could steal their victory from them, she could die happy.
Now she just had to figure out how.
February 25th, 2000
Angel's Apartment, Los Angeles
Angel had to be hating this.
Counting Angel, there were now twelve people packed into his apartment, and that was really too many. Especially for him.
They'd all spent the last hour trying to come up with a good strategy for both punishing Wolfram and Hart by killing their clients, and stopping them from just killing Xander's body - or just cutting bits off of it until they stopped hacking through their evil customer base.
Cordelia was all for killing any demon or vampire that happened to be Wolfram and Hart's client. Sure it wasn't part of 'the mission', helping the hopeless, and it didn't pay, but they were all demons and vampires using the services of Evil Incorporated. The world could do with less vampires like Russel Winters.
"Perhaps we should take a step back," Giles suggested, after loudly clearing his throat to interrupt what was threatening to become a shouting match between Buffy, Xander and that Collins guy about 'acceptable risks'.
"As we've discussed quite thoroughly," Giles continued once he had everyone's attention, "simply killing their clients without making clear we're involved won't work. Of course, once we draw attention to the fact that we have started to eliminate their clients and intend to keep going unless they hand over Xander's body alive and intact, they're just as likely to retaliate with what they have on hand as make any deals, and then move to protect their clients directly." Giles pursed his lips a moment as he seemed to look for the right words.
"Further - well, that is," he started, then straightened up a little. "Taking their clients hostage has of course been raised as well - and then proposing an exchange." He nodded to Cordelia - she'd been the first one to suggest that idea, before they'd started to run into problems with it. "But that leads to the question of taking enough clients to be worth the considerable hassle Angel has posed to Wolfram and Hart and will likely continue to pose. And of course, doing all this without them getting wind of what is happening and who is behind it."
"And whatever we do, we need to do it quickly, because in 22 hours, unless Angel's dead and they're dancing on his dust," Xander cut in, "they start cutting away anyway."
Now, Cordelia had once contemplated cutting pieces of Xander's body off - well, one specific piece - but not with any seriousness, and whatever her issues with her ex, she didn't want him to start losing fingers or ears or whatever.
Especially if the lawyers decided to start delivering them here, where she could see them, to make their point.
"There's going to always be a certain amount of risk, whether you consider it acceptable or not," Collins pointed out, and Buffy glared at him - Xander just looked away, exhaling angrily.
"Collins isn't wrong, but there might be ways to minimize the risk," Wesley suggested. "For one, as things stand, there are three people with the kinds of ability required to take down one of Wolfram and Hart's major clients - Angel, Buffy and you, Xander. Of course, with your limited experience with the strength of a Slayer, sending you on your own against, say, the leader of the Sahrvin Clan would be... ill-advised,"
"The Sahrvin clan aren't clients of Wolfram and Hart," Collins cut in, looking at Wesley like he was crazy.
"They are. Recently signed on with them a few months ago," Wesley countered. "I know Wolfram and Hart was hesitating to pick a side due to the whole matter of the Vinji-Sahrvin dispute, but it would seem the Sahrvin offered Wolfram and Hart enough to take them on as a client."
"Making them exactly the sort of people Wolfram and Hart would like to keep happy," Collins mused. "Given that they've already picked a side."
"What are we talking about?" Cordelia cut in.
"Two of the more prominent and well-connected demon clans in the greater L.A. area. All of Southern California, really. The Sahrvin and Vinji have been fighting for... well, longer than any of us save Angel or Anya have been alive," Wesley explained. "By signing one on as a client, Wolfram and Hart has taken as side - so even if the Sahrvin leader was killed, and they lose them as a client, the firm could hardly switch to the Vinji. So they'd have additional incentive to keep him alive. If he were threatened."
"And how hard would that to be - threatening to make him unalive?" Buffy asked, and Cordelia could see the deadly wheels turning in the Slayers head.
"Well, the location of the main Sahrvin nest, outside the city, is common knowledge in the city's underworld, but I can't speak to the sort of defenses they might face," Wesley admitted.
"Could one Slayer take them on?" Buffy asked.
"With some assistance," Wesley moved his head side to side. "It's worth considering."
"Well, like you said, there's three of us that can be the one to do the grabbing - me, Buffy, Angel. And there's three of the armed gunmen from across the pond," Xander added. "I mean, you were going to suggest we split up, in so many words, right?"
"More or less," Wesley admitted.
"Okay... so Buffy and one of you guys - maybe you, Mr. Crazy-eyes," Xander gestured to Weatherby. Whose eyes got even crazier, widening and he looked like he really wanted to attack Xander.
"What a great idea Xander, insulting the guy with a gun," Cordelia shot at him, but she couldn't disagree that he was right.
"That's one. Who else?"
"Perhaps the Fell Brethren?" Smith suggested. "I know their Grand Potentate doesn't tend to keep a lot of his people around him, most of the time."
"And Ed isn't reported to be a particularly powerful combatant himself, so taking him hostage wouldn't be impossible," Collins agreed.
"Ed? There's a demon named Ed?" Willow chuckled. "That just doesn't seem like much of a demon name."
"Yeah. He's actually a pretty nice guy, actually," Anya commented. "As long as you can get past the whole 'Grand Potentate of the Fell Brethren' thing."
"You know him?" Collins blinked, "And - why would Wesley say you're older than the Sahrvin-Vinji dispute..." He narrowed his eyes.
"I don't know," Anya said suddenly, trying to lie, and badly.
"Leave her alone, she's human and her past doesn't matter, got it?" Xander said, stepping up to Collins and poking him in the chest, hard enough to make the Brit stagger back a step. Cordelia heard Xander look away, flushing a little, and mutter something that sounded like: 'whoops, didn't mean to poke him that hard.'
"Got it," Collins murmured, looking away from Anya slowly. Cordelia was pretty sure he didn't, and from his expression, Xander didn't either.
"Okay, so that's two clients down, both demons with some goons. What about someone less dangerous, for Xander." Xander gave her an annoyed 'really!?' expression, but Cordelia held up her hands slightly, "What? We all agreed, slayer strength or not, you don't have the same skill with it as Buffy, so you just shouldn't be facing the same threats."
"Yeah... but you don't need to say it like I'm incapable," Xander grumbled, looking away, flushing a little.
I didn't say anything that we didn't already agree was true.
"Well... slaying vampires should be a simple enough prospect for you," Collins suggested. "Wesley, are you familiar with Victor Norvisan?"
"I've heard the name. He's the Orpheus Kingpin of the Greater Los Angeles Area,"
"And moving into heroin and cocaine as well. Wolfram and Hart represent him - and more importantly, the human dealers that are in his employ, when those ones run into the police," Collins explained. "He was getting powerful enough the Council was already considering sending a team to eliminate him anyway, so we actually have some fairly solid intelligence on his security - and he's not one to be overly cautious."
Drug dealing vampire. So a double parasite. And Cordelia had thought demon lawyers had been too on the nose.
"That seems reasonable," Giles mused. "Everyone goes with some backup, and together, hopefully, we'll be able to take the clients hostage and make a trade. Somewhere neutral, where we can make an exchange safely."
"They're gonna try and screw us on the trade, you get that, right?" Cordelia pointed out.
"Of course. And I'd really rather not turn over their clients healthy and unharmed," Collins noted. "If we have to, we have to, but if they try to 'screw us', as you so Americanly put it, we can make them pay for it, one client at a time."
"Just one question," Xander asked. "What's Orpheus?"