Title: I Understand
Summary: There's pain. And then there's agony. Ellie, suffering after Qasim's death, turns a to friend who has always been there. Jack Daniels. Tim calls in backup. It's time to talk to her big brother – even if he's still in Paris. But maybe he's closer to home than they think.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.
Ellie Bishop cut a startling figure at the bar. Her hair was dull and disheveled, her eyes unfocussed, her mouth devoid of the usual bright smile. Her clothes were rumbled and her shoulders slumped. She swirled a glass of whiskey in front of her and watched as the liquid spun in the glass.
"Rough day?" the bartender asked, whipping out a glass as he stood in front of her.
"Rough week." She replied.
"Life or love?" He asked.
"Both." She sighed.
"Look…is there anyone I can call for you, Love? Take you home. They can make sure you're ok?" He asked, he knew that glass she sat over was the fifth glass he'd – against his better judgement – poured for her.
"No. It wouldn't matter, the only guy you could call for me won't answer anyway. He's gone."
"I'm sorry to hear that. But you are not driving home tonight." He snatched her keys off the bar before she could stop him, "again, is there someone you want me to call to make sure you get home, OK?"
"Yeah. Tim McGee." She pushed her phone towards him, displaying Tim's number. So Ellie may have driven to the bar that night but it was in Tim's Porche that she arrived home in.
"Hey Probie!" Tony's smiled was evident when he answered the phone.
"Hi, Tony. How's the unpacking going?" Tim asked.
"It's weird being back here, but I love that Washington sunshine." Tony said, it had been a surprise when Tony had announced he was coming back to Washington with Tali, but he had bought a house, had a job and Tali was enrolled in school.
"It's good to know you're back in town, Tony. At least now it's easier to catch up." Tim said.
"Yeah, but I don't want to see you in my ER, OK?" Tony warned, he never liked it when the team were in hospital. But if any of them crossed his path in the ER he really wouldn't like it.
"You got it. Listen…I need your help with something." Tim said.
"Name it, and it'll be done. I have Gibbs and Abby to help me with Tali. By the way, have you seen Abby's new look when she's not at work? I thought she dressed in black and red all the time but no – she turned up at the house the other days in blue jeans, red converse and a green t-shirt! I nearly didn't recognize her. If not for the dog collar I wouldn't have known it was her!" Tony cried.
"Really? She does?" Tim asked, momentarily distracted.
"Apparently. What can I do for you, Tim?" Tony said steering them back to the reason for Tim's phone call.
The young man sighed, "Well, it's not actually me. It's about Ellie." He said.
"Tell me, what about Ellie?" Tony asked after he'd driven to his old apartment, now Tim and Delilah's, and sat down across from Tim, coffee in hand.
"I'm worried about her. She has been sad since Qasim died, and I mean I get that. But it is really bad. I got a call the other night from a bar to pick her up and take her home. She was drinking whiskey, Tony. I've never seen her drink whiskey; she barely touches beer!" Tim said.
"Don't worry, Tim. Maybe she's just dealing with her grief in one of the many ways people do." Tony pointed out.
"I think it's more than that. I mean…I got a call or two after Jenny died. To drive you home. So, I think that you might need to have a word with her. I mean I know it was when you were on the Seahawk and the Reagan that you sort of stopped. It was a long four months." Tim reminded him.
"Yeah, it was. Look, Tim. I blamed myself for Jenny's death. I know I was at fault. I should've been there and maybe we'd be having a very different conversation right now." Tony said.
"Or maybe we'd be having the same one. There is no way to know if you had been there would she still have died? She didn't want you there, Tony. You followed her orders." Tim sighed.
"You think Ellie blames herself for Qasim's death?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, I do. And I don't think she should." Tim replied.
"I'll go and talk to her. Maybe I can talk her down. But I'll make you no promises, Tim." Tony said, downing the rest of his coffee.
"That's all I ask, Tony. That you try." Tim said.
"Need a drinking partner?" Tony asked sliding up beside Ellie at the bar, "Dominion?"
"Coming up." The Bar tender pulled a bottle of Dominion Ale from under the bar, popped that lid and slid it down to Tony.
"What are you doing here, Tony? Weren't you in Paris?" Ellie asked, her words weren't slurred yet, so she hadn't had a lot to drink.
"I was but I came back three weeks ago. I loved Paris, Tali loved Paris, and Ziva loved Paris, but Ziva…it appears that although she had every intention of joining me and Tali in Paris, her job caught up with her." Tony said.
"Oh, Tony. I'm so sorry." Ellie said, frowning.
"It's no big deal. Really. But I hear you are having a bit of trouble. Qasim is it?" He asked.
She sighed heavily, "So, this is Tim's idea of an intervention?" She asked.
"No, this is one big brother asking his big brother to help their baby sister." Tony said.
"How? You can't possibly know how I feel." Ellie accused.
"Don't count on that. Walk with me?" Tony slid a fifty dollar bill onto the counter than got Ellie up and linking their arms walked out of the bar. Leaving the bar tender to stare dumb-founded at the fifty dollar bill and the ten dollar tab.
"Where are we going? I drove here." She protested.
"I know so did I. But we are going to walk the alcohol out of you." Tony said, steering her across the road to the small park that sat there.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because you need it and I need to tell you a story. And it may come as a surprise to you but I know exactly what you're going through. More than I care to admit." Tony said.
"How?" She asked.
"Well, let's see. I was about 5 years into my career. So, it was about 2006. I was at the office and a woman came up to me looking for Gibbs. It was Ziva. Now unbeknownst to me Gibbs was also talking to a woman. Our new Director. Jennifer Sheppard. An old partner of Gibbs and former lover. Jenny was a good director, she praised and rewarded good work but she also punished bad work or insubordination.
"Two years later, Ziva and I were on protection detail with her in LA. We were supposed to protect her and we didn't fulfill our job; we didn't do what we were supposed to do. But she gave us orders to take the day for ourselves. So, we did." Tony recalled. He missed Ziva like crazy but he had lot her to the job they did. It had caught up to her and taken her from this world. At least he had Tali.
"What does this have to do with me?" Ellie asked.
"I blamed myself for Jenny's death. For a long time." He said.
"When did you stop?" She asked.
"I don't think I ever did. But I, like you started to drink. Granted I never came to work hungover in that time, but I struggled. Tim had to pick me up sometimes and even Gibbs did once or twice. But then I was sent away on the USS Seahawk and then the Raegan. I couldn't get drunk on the ship, lest I jump ship and drown. So that helped, but if I had stayed, I'd have liked to have had someone who had gone through what I did that would have helped me through it. So, that is what I'm doing for you, Ellie. I am going to help you through this." Tony said.
"Can you, really? I mean you weren't dating Jenny…were you?" Ellie frowned.
"No. Like I said she was the Director. It would have been unprofessional, not to mention completely weird." Tony gave a shudder at the thought, then he was back smiling softly at her, "So just remember, Ellie, people die every day, but the ones we love. They never really leave us. And whatever you are going through – me or Tim or Gibbs or Abby, Clay or Jimmy or Ducky. Any one of us has probably gone through it ourselves. And one of us will listen. We love you too much, Baby Sister." He said pulling her into his chest and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Thanks, Big Brother." She replied, wrapping her arms around him and returning his embrace.
A/N: This was a prompt from SoapDramaCrimeGirl:
After Qasim's death, Ellie falls into depression and turns to drinking. Tim calls in backup – aka Tony - who gets it, after going through the same thing with Jenny Sheppard.