Title: Picking and Choosing
Characters: Yanagi Renji, Mouri Jusaburou, Yukimura Seiichi, Sanada Genichirou
A/N: I feel responsible for accidentally creating Yanagi/Mouri shippers, so here's another story.
Yanagi knew his life was going to get more complicated the moment he stepped foot on Rikkai's middle school campus. It was either something in the stars or the hundreds of data notebooks he has compiled over the years, but he knew that something was coming. It was easy for him to accept his fate, seeing as he couldn't avoid what was going to happen and knew exactly when it would happen: the moment he handed in his formal request to join the school's tennis club. It was at the club that he met the two people that would make his life more difficult than it already was.
Of course, anyone would fall in love with the androgynous-looking, yet insanely fearsome Yukimura Seiichi. All of the boys and girls who saw him would have to do a double take to make sure they weren't dreaming. There was a strange, almost cult-like reverence of the Child of God around the school and Yanagi was not exempted from this behaviour. He immensely respected Yukimura for how much effort he put into everything and fell in love with his soft-spoken demeanor and his deep, commanding sapphire blue eyes.
At the same time, he couldn't help but admire the scowling Sanada Genichirou. He was the exact opposite of Yukimura in every way, shape and form. The so-called Emperor was extremely masculine, upheld an almost old-fashioned sense of honour and intimidated anyone he looked at. Yanagi found himself getting along with him surprisingly well compared to their peers, as he also held similar beliefs. He couldn't deny that Sanada's stalwart personality and chiseled body made him reconsider his motive for befriending him.
Within the span of three months, the young data master had met his two new best friends for life and simultaneously fell in love with both of them. He wasn't quite sure how a person could love two people at the same time, but he couldn't deny that he was. Yanagi loved both of them deeply to the point of obsession. The problem now was trying to decide between them. How could he possibly pick between his two most cherished friends? The decision to choose between confessing to Yukimura or Sanada was something that tore him apart every single waking moment.
Unfortunately for him, he would never have to make that decision.
Just as he was madly in love with both of them, his best friends were also in love with each other. The problem was neither of them seemed to know about the other's feelings. Yanagi knew this the moment he met the two. His best friends-turned-romantic interests were now becoming his own love rivals—and there was no way he could compete with either of them.
It had been over two decades since then. They were in their early 30s and Yanagi found himself as the Best Man at his best friends' wedding. He never got over his feelings for either of them, but he never said anything to them either. He wasn't even sure why he agreed to attend and take on such an important role. He wasn't even sure why he agreed to help either of them pick out engagement rings for each other. He couldn't remember why he even bothered to tell Yukimura to confess all those years ago. He wanted them to fall in love with him, but he actively sabotaged any chances of that ever happening by setting them up with each other.
During one of their planning days, Yanagi was carefully looking over the guest list when he noticed a name he hadn't seen in years.
"You're inviting Mouri-senpai to your wedding?" he asked.
Sanada nodded. "He is a respected teammate, even if we have our differences."
"I'll be surprised if he even shows up at all," Yukimura commented. "I heard he fell into a recluse when Ochi-san passed away."
"It must have been difficult for him these past few years," Sanada added. "Still, it would be good to see him again."
On the actual day of the event, Yanagi could not fathom why their elusive senpai would show up for this wedding when he failed to show up for their other teammates' unions. He found the normally eccentric, crimson-haired man standing outside in the designated smoking area with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, staring up at the dusky skies.
"Mouri-senpai," he greeted.
Mouri Jusaburou looked down and turned to address him. "Aren't you quite the masochist, Yanagi," he laughed.
He raised an eyebrow. "What on earth do you mean by that, Mouri-senpai?"
"Did you really think I haven't been watching over you? I overheard you back when Yukimura was in the hospital. I could see in your eyes that your heart was shattering into a gazillion pieces every time you looked at those two."
It was three days before the finals of the Kanto Regional and Yukimura's insanely risky surgery. Sanada and Yanagi were visiting their friend to reassure him that they would remain the champions. When the black-capped boy stepped out of the room to buy them all drinks, Yukimura started crying, which startled Yanagi.
"Seiichi!" He wrapped his slender arms around the bony frame of his ill friend. "What's wrong?"
"I— I— I'm in love with Sanada!" he shouted. "I don't want to die, Renji, but—"
Yanagi gently patted him on the head in an attempt to comfort him, but his chest was aching. "You will not die, Seiichi. You are strong."
"I-I'm just t-terrified that I'll never b-be able to tell h-him how much I care," he mumbled.
"Seiichi..."
Yanagi hesitated as he thought over his next few words. There he was, holding his sick best friend in his arms as he cried and confessed his love for his other best friend. The same best friend who confided in him earlier that he was in love with their ailing friend. It was a reality Yanagi knew existed, but refused to accept.
"Seiichi, listen to me," he sighed. "Confess to Genichirou."
The tears almost immediately stopped. "Are you insane? What if he doesn't even like me in that way?"
He fought back the urge to shed tears of his own. "He does."
Before the conversation could continue, the friend in question came back into the room with three cold beverage bottles.
"Yukimura? What's wrong?" Sanada asked, concern plastered all across his usual stone-cold face.
"I-It's nothing, Sanada," Yukimura smiled. "Thank you for getting the drinks."
"O-of course," he coughed. "Y-Yukimura—"
"Yes?!" the azure-haired boy shouted as he tensed up.
The two of them stared awkwardly at each other, unsure of what to say. Yanagi felt physically uncomfortable just existing vicariously in the situation and slowly tried to back his way out of the room. He felt nauseous just watching his two best friends confess their undying affection for each other. It was too crushing for him to even watch. Losing one of your love interests was bad, but both at the same time? Yanagi knew no greater despair than that exact moment in time.
All he could do was quickly exit the room in a jealous agony as Sanada and Yukimura sealed their fates with a heartwarming kiss. He stared down at the floor, counting the tiles as he walked forward. He didn't even bother to look up when he accidentally bumped into someone, uttering a pathetic 'sorry' as he side-stepped and continued to walk away. He didn't stop to even look at the person, who just continued to stare at him with a forlorn expression.
Mouri debated chiding him for being so callous, but he saw the heartbreak in Yanagi's eyes. He inconspicuously made his way to Yukimura's room and peered in through the side, only to see his other two kouhais steal small kisses from each other. It was at that moment that everything from the past three years started to click for him, but he was at a loss for what to do about it. All he could muster the courage to do was to continue watching over them in silence.
"You loved them both, but could never choose between them. They loved each other and you set them up, even though you desperately hoped that one of them would fall for you instead so you didn't have to pick. And now, you're watching them marry each other, ending any and all chances of them ever falling for you." He took the cigarette out of his mouth and rubbed it between his fingers, letting the dried tobacco fall out onto the ground. "You really are a masochist, my lovely kouhai."
"And if I am? I want them to be happy—even if that means I will be miserable," he stated.
"Oh, come on now. What have you done to not deserve happiness of your own, Yanagi?"
"And you're saying that I should get in between those two? That I should just be selfish and break them apart for my own sake?" he snapped. "I can't just do that. As much as I love them, their love for each other is far greater than anything I could ever give them."
"There you go again with your self-doubt," Mouri sighed. "Remember when I told you to aim for the top spot already instead of calling yourself 'one of the best'?"
"When was this?" He couldn't recall that moment at all, despite his mostly photographic memory.
"Our first World Cup together, silly! You hated me back then."
The sudden rush of memories made him remember that quarterfinal match against France. "Oh."
"You already proved that you were the best player out of the three of you. What's stopping you from showing either of them that your love for them is far greater than their love for each other?"
"I..."
For once, he was at a loss for words. How was Mouri always right about everything? It infuriated him, but he knew there was no point in arguing further.
Mouri smiled sadly. "Of course, I'm just two decades too late telling you this information. Forgive me. I'm not the best senpai."
Yanagi suddenly remembered the reason why he confronted him in the first place. "Mouri-senpai—"
He held up a hand before Yanagi could finish his thought. "You wanted to ask me why I showed up today and not when Bubblegum, Glasses and Baldy invited me to their weddings, right?"
Yanagi held his tongue, but Mouri could easily read the expression on his face.
The taller man fished out a tattered box of cigarettes and pulled out another one, along with a lighter. "It's not like I didn't want to go to those weddings, but I got busy with life," he responded nonchalantly as he lit the dart. "But, between falling into despair over my dead boyfriend and saving my favourite kouhai from his descent into madness, I think the latter is more important than the former."
"Senpai..."
Mouri inhaled deeply before turning around to blow away the smoke so it wouldn't get into Yanagi's face. "Believe me when I say this, but I've gone through the exact same thing as you, Yanagi."
"Pray tell."
He took another draw at his dart. "You know I've always liked you, right?"
Yanagi was now more confused than ever. "I beg your pardon?"
"You really didn't notice?! So much for being 'Rikkai's Strategist'," he playfully mocked.
The disheveled man felt a lump in his throat begin to grow as he swallowed.
Mouri finished off his cigarette and put it out in the nearby ashtray. "Sorry! Just a joke—about the strategist thing, not the other thing."
"M-Mouri-senpai, is this true?"
He nodded. "All I could do was watch over you as your senpai. There were times where I wanted to say something and times where I just wanted to hold you in my arms when you looked like you were on the verge of tears. Alas—"
"Senpai, with all due respect, what is the point of you telling this to me?" Yanagi asked before Mouri could continue with his monologue. "You liked me, but you fell in love with someone else. Now, you're standing before me, trying to tell me that we're the same? I find it hard to believe."
"For the smartest person I know, you sure are dumb," he laughed. "Yanagi, do you know why I fell in love with Tsuki-san?"
"Because he doted on you and you spent a lot of time together?" he answered rather coldly.
"No, silly! He made me realize that watching over you and never acting on my feelings was stupid," he laughed. "Of course, me confessing to you when you would have crucified me for even looking in your direction was not ideal—"
"I still fail to understand how this makes you and myself similar."
Mouri ruffled Yanagi's hair with his hand. "Tsuki-san wondered about that as well, but we are! We both let our indecision prevent us from doing anything."
The thoughts suddenly connected in Yanagi's brain. Mouri's smile grew warmer.
"Tsuki-san knew I never really got over my feelings for you and told me to act on them before he died. I couldn't believe what he was saying and I refused to acknowledge it. I loved him and he told me to look back? To remember that I also liked you when he was dying?" Rather than hold back his emotions, he let his tears flow down his face as he looked up at the looming darkness. "He was right, as always."
Yanagi was a bit taken aback by his senpai's sudden display of emotions. "Mouri-senpai..."
"And seeing Yukimura and Sanada getting married? I had to check and see if you've gotten over them, but I can still see that longing and crushing desire in your eyes," he sighed. "It hurts, doesn't it?"
Yanagi wasn't sure what came over him, but hearing those words just undid his composure. Mouri gently pulled him into his arms. The younger man buried his face in his tobacco-scented chest as he sobbed.
"There, there," he whispered as he rubbed his back.
"What should I do, Mouri-senpai?" he asked as he continued to tremble. "Tell me what to do... I don't know what to do!"
"Isn't it obvious, my lovely kouhai?" Mouri smiled. "Tell them how you've felt for all these years, then let go. Easier said than done, but I'm a bit of an expert on the matter."
Yanagi stood back up and wiped his face with the handkerchief he had folded up in his breast pocket. "Will you help me, then, Mouri-senpai?"
"Of course!" he declared. "Why did ya think I came out all this way? Certainly not because my two other favourite kouhais were getting married to each other."
Yanagi felt drawn to the warm gaze of Mouri's eyes as he slowly began to accept his long-overdue reality. "Thank you," he whispered.
"You have a long future ahead of you. Of course, I wouldn't be opposed to spending said future with you, either," Mouri chuckled. "But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just start with the small steps first and work our way up from there, okay?"
Yanagi nodded as a small smile cracked on his thin lips. "Okay."
There was a long road ahead of him, but Yanagi felt optimistic for the first time in a very long time. Though the first step was probably going to be the hardest, having Mouri Jusaburou by his side was strangely comforting as he began to let go.