Hi, so here is another chapter, i apologise for the extreme lateness of this one but it's been a long few weeks so i hope you enjoy. I tend to do a mass update in December with double the chapters so i hope this one is worth the wait.
As always with this story Trigger Warnings, and as always i apologise for any historical accuracies.
Please Read and Review and let me know what you think.
Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Erin.
Faith Based Initiative
Chapter 7-Broken Wing
Erin escapes from her prison and her own private hell and enters a world that is entirely different from the one she lives in. Marian and Djaq have a conversation about faith, trust and that men that they love and the Outlaws finally begin to catch a break.
The chains sprang off and clattered to the floor and Marian helped kick them to the side wincing as her ankle dragged against the floor. Erin rubbed her wrist absent minded and winced as the chafing created blood, smearing all over her hand. She looked down at her wrist and stared at the mess the chains had made to both her wrists. They were both rubbed raw the skin gone and bruising and she did not even want to think about the rest of her but she knew that she was covered in bruises and dried blood caking and flaking on her legs, her arms, her face and around her ankles where chains had once been before.
She stood up gingerly wincing at the flare of agony in her knees and then staggered a little against the wall as she got used to being in a different position then she usually was. She felt the flare of pain in her ribs and had to grip hard onto the rock to stop the hiss of pain.
"Take your time" Djaq said softly. Her eyes were wide in shock and gratitude and Erin had to look away unless she crumbled again. Already she felt cramping that came with standing once more chain free and she felt dizzy at the thought of what she had to do.
"Tell me where this Robin Hood is" she said through slightly gritted teeth against the nausea that had come with the vertigo. Marian told her what she had to look for and Erin made her repeat it until she was sure that she had it word perfect. If she was ever going to get anything right in her life it had to be this one right now.
Once she was sure she went and stood at the hole that lead to the roof of the cave. She reached out and gripped the smooth edges, pushing herself up was going to be hell she knew. But before she could she dropped to the ground again wiping her eyes.
"If we don't—" she said turning around and staring at the two women who had put their trust in her—and she was still not sure that they were right to put so much faith in her. She wanted them to know that she would do her best but she could guarantee nothing. But she turned away again before she could see their expressions. She was surprised at the tears that came to her eyes at the thought of leaving them, at the thought of what they had come to mean to her.
"Erin" it was Marian who was speaking through blood stained lips and aching ribs and Erin turned to stare at her and she felt her heart splinter a little at the smile on the woman's face and the hope etched in her eyes.
"Just do your best" Marian said finally. "And we'll see you on the other side." She said it with such surety that Erin couldn't deny it. instead she turned her head and looked at the hole in the roof wincing again as she felt her stomach ache at the effort.
She did not want to look these women in the eye and promise them that she would come back with a rescue when she could not. Instead she with some difficulty hoisted herself up after several goes (she had no upper body strength whatsoever). After several efforts where her ribs screamed at her in protest she managed to hook both her elbows over the edge of the hole. She did not look back but instead hoisted herself up head and then body out of the hole and onto the flat rock before she could drop back down again or tell them what their company had meant to them, especially as there was no guarantee she would ever see them again. She could not help but think that she was taking her shot at freedom at the very real expense of theirs.
Instead she forced herself out of the hole and slid down the edge of the rock until her whole body hit something, leaves, mud, ground, solid and wonderful ground and she lay there for a second her whole body aching with adrenaline and exhaustion and Erin stared at the sky wincing at the sight of the sky, the blue mixing with the clouds and she breathed clear air before she staggered to her feet. She did not look back even as her lungs ached with the aftermath of running. Had she stuck her head through that hole to tell Marion and Djaq then she would have crawled back to spend time with them and she knew that neither one of them would want that. There was too much depending on her being on the ground, being free and Erin would not look back at her prison and think it was warm and familiar—at least until she was safe with this Robin Hood—then she was not going to look back.
And with that somehow, someway she pushed her way up off her feet and staggered upwards and began to run in the direction that Djaq had pointed. Looking, always for the signs that Marion had pointed towards. The terror and the panic and the pain could last until she found herself safe. She knew the way, she knew to take notes on the way she was making and she knew that she would give this Robin Hood—if he existed—then she would she would be able to tell him where his love and his friend were. And Erin staggered forwards her knees snapping against twigs and her bare feet catching with every step.
She had to believe that.
If not she had nothing else.
And so Erin began to run.
Marian hissed a little as the pain increased around her ribs and she forced herself to breathe. Erin had done it, she had done it, and Marian supposed that she had to be relieved indeed she was relieved, she was gleeful, indeed she was hysterical. Somehow Erin had found within her the courage to stand up and hoist herself to freedom and Marian had to believe that she would get to Robin that she would understand the route she was taking and lead Robin back to her.
Djaq said nothing for a while and then she stretched out her legs in front of her. Marian watched her and wondered how on earth she could remain that calm when everything within Marian was screaming with both pain and inefficacy. She wanted Robin, she wanted Robin to hold her and rock her back and forth, she wanted to lay in his arms and know that while he was there nothing could happen to her. She wanted the privacy to grieve for her father with the one man that she knew would grieve him too. And as much as she was loath to admit it, she did not want to leave her fate in another woman's hands. She did not like the idea of trusting someone she had just met no matter how much she liked them.
"She'll come back" Djaq said slowly into the darkness as if she could read Marian's mind. Marian shifted a little and felt something in the muscles of her back pull at the small amount of strength that, that had entailed.
"Your very sure" she said finally. Djaq nodded. "You sound like you understand her" she said finally and Djaq nodded again. Marian realised that she was about to learn about Djaq's past and worried her lip a little until the cut had opened again. She had never asked Djaq about her past and Djaq had never brought the subject up again at least not in Marian's presence. It was a hard thing to ask about Marian thought.
"I have lived through what she has lived through" Djaq said and then she curled her leg under her chin wincing at the chafing on her wrist. "She'll come back" she looked at Marian then and her eyes were filled with a knowledge that Marian could never understand and never wanted to. She breathed in again and felt the flare in her ribs. God she was hurting, she was really fucking hurting.
"What makes you so sure?" she asked again to distract herself from the pain.
"Because we offered her the one thing she wants but never thought she'd get" Djaq said sagely. "A future. Freedom. Hope. Trust me she'd given up on all of that and though she doesn't want to believe it she cannot stop how she feels"
Marian stared at her for a second.
"Was that what it was like for you?" she asked quietly.
Djaq nodded her eyes on the wall directly in front of her and her stare far away, farer than Marian had ever been or seen or could have ever known.
"You lose track of time" she said quietly. So quietly in fact Marian had to strain to hear her. "Everything becomes one big blur and then you realise that you don't care if you live or die"
Marian blinked back tears.
God she hoped Robin would come soon.
Time had dwindled, it often did when you were trapped. It was a fact that Djaq knew well. But this time was different. She'd never really had pleasant memories, even the ones of a time before the Crusade hurt because they had all been a dream. Now she was swarmed with more bad memories.
There had been the loss of her parents, her brother, the disappearance of her sister to her certain death, the fall of her country and the persecution of her faith, that had been before. Before Robin. Before Will.
Then there had been her time in the outlaw's camp and she had forgone the nightmares for the first time in a long time. But she had still remembered the humiliation, the death, the destruction.
But there had been Will.
Even now. There was Will. They had not taken that from her, she supposed she should be glad but the truth of the matter was that she was not. Used to humiliation she had been but being forced to undress under all of those men's eyes…she remembered the one time that Will had seen her naked for those fleeting seconds. She had panicked but as she had looked back she had not been scared or humiliated or disgusted. He had looked so endearingly awed by what he saw that she had been oddly touched. And as time had gone by she had relied on him for his quiet strength and the presence of safety and solidarity that he gave just by sitting next to her.
Love had come a bit later and she was sure it was one sided. She'd had close friendships with the outlaws and she knew that she was respected and trusted. But that did not mean any of them were in love with her. Now she knew that once Will had understood what would happen to her anything that might have grown between them would be scotched to the ground.
Marian was holding her fingers in her lap. Looking at her and the battering she took Djaq had to guess that she had broken some ribs, some fingers and her wrist was snapped. That perhaps her leg was in the same shape (certainly her knee did not look right) and her face was a mess of small cuts and bruises. Djaq took in the injuries but did not say much. She knew Marian and she knew that she was gripping onto her pride with everything she had and Djaq knew that, that was a small price to pay for Marian keeping control of her emotions.
She too was tired, aching and near tears. As harsh as it sounded she did not think that she could deal with anything else.
"Robin will come" Marian said finally her head leaning back against the rock. "And Will, will come with him."
"Doesn't make a difference" Djaq said finally trying to hide her emotions again under the thin layer of the control that she had once clung too—why it was so hard to get it back this time she simply couldn't think. She simply couldn't think anyway.
"Why?" Marian asked surprise colouring her tone and hiding the undercurrent of pain that saturated it.
"Because things are different for me than for you" Djaq said simply. That was an understatement but she was not in the mood to explain it. Instead she nodded towards the water bowl. "Drink" she said shortly. "If Erin does not succeed or if she gets lost then we are at their mercy. And if they want you to fight then you need your strength."
Marian let out a little sob but did as she was told.
Looking back Djaq wondered if that was the first sign of something when Marian, vocal and passionate and independent Marian did not fight back but she did not care. She leaned her head back against the hard rock and felt her chin tremble and she shifted backwards so Marian could not see her face.
She tried but ultimately failed not to think of Will and his smile and that way he made her feel safe—a rare commodity for a woman in any land in this century—but the tears came anyway and her only blessing was that she cried like she had done in the slave cage.
Silently.
There had been many plans but none had come to fruition and Allan had been sat next to Will who felt like he was carved out of stone as Robin proposed more ideas that were more and more desperate. John and Much were dealing with him, Allan wouldn't know where to start but he felt Will shake a little and nudged their knees together in response. Will had been like stone for most of the day.
Actually come to think about it, if you asked Allan how long it had been since…and yet though he knew it was an ever increasingly strong possibility he did not have it in him to mark the girls as dead because…because even he with all his cynicism and mocking and laughter struggled to comprehend a world where Marian and Djaq could be snatched off the road or out of their houses and killed before Robin, Will and the rest of them had known.
There was a banging and it took him a second to realise it was the gong that signalled someone had tripped over into one of their traps. If for nothing else to do the outlaws jumped into action but Allan noticed it felt half hearted.
But this was different than some rich noble. He could hear the screaming as he ran following John. There was something in it that he couldn't put his fingers on.
And then he saw her.
Erin had been running, she had been running until she had collapsed on the ground and she had had to take a breath, she had thrown up all over the leaves and then had sat back choking a little until she had coughed up what felt like half her stomach.
She felt weak, powerless and ready to die.
It was a hard thing to admit but had it not been for Djaq and Marian waiting on her, depending on her and the men that they both loved for a rescue then she would have curled up here in the leaves and gone to sleep and prayed that the good Lord took her to His Own while she was sleeping.
But there were other things as well. After so long in the darkness with rough rock under her the fact that there were leaves and mud and grass under her feet were a novelty, the colours blinded her, the breeze warm against her cheek and she staggered again.
This time her foot caught on something and she was hoisted into the air and the hysteria she had been battling for so long came to the surface and she screamed and screamed and screamed uncaring that her shirt was half upside down, that she was upside down, that everything was on show and that she was losing her mind almost under the intense pressure, uncaring that she had been joined by a group of men watching her, and most of all uncaring that one of them had eyes that were so very, very blue.
And there you are, i hope you like this chapter and i will do my best to give you more than one the next time around.
Next Chapter-The Outlaws find Erin and Erin finds the Outlaws and a story is beginning to be told.