Hi all, so here is another chapter, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring you the next one sooner rather than later.

Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.

Please Read and Review.

And as always with this story, TRIGGER WARNINGS for the issues that are always raised in this story.

Faith Based Initiative

Chapter 14-Impact Winter.

Marian and Robin have a conversation that goes the same way as all their other conversations. Djaq recounts her memories and ends up telling Will about her sister and Erin decides to go for a walk.

Marian had tried to get in the bath by herself (the men giving her a wide birth and Will still behind the curtain with Djaq) when her ribs screamed in protest and she felt herself stiffen the cry of pain refusing to leave her lips. She had her pride if nothing else and while that thought came to her the thought of what her father would say to that came to mind and she wanted to cry all over again.

Before she could there were hands at her naked shoulders and she was in the hot water before she could panic. The water was heavenly to her skin and she shivered goosebumps bubbling on her arms and legs as the hot water hit her skin.

Erin who had helped her was watching her. Marian took in the change in her, the eye that was clean but still swollen shut and the cut on her lips, the emancipated frame and the way she was still clutching at her left knee as if it pained her beyond all imagining. But beyond that Marian took in the new dress, the blonde hair that was two shades lighter and cleaner than what it had been and the one eye that was open and it a shade of shocking blue (a bit darker than Allan's blue but blue nonetheless).

"Thank you" Marian said finally. It was pitiful that, that was all she could offer this woman who had done and succeeded at the impossible but Erin didn't seem to mind. Instead she passed Marian the solid soap that was to scrub her hair and she took it relishing in the simple luxury of a clean hair and a clean skin. Erin said nothing.

And then.

"Djaq Is with Will still"

"Oh" Marian said wincing as the rag hit her ribs.

"Good" she said finally. "And you—have they found you somewhere to sleep yet?"

"Not yet. But they seem to want me around so that has to be a good thing?"

"Robin does not turn people away if they want help" Marian said rubbing at a bloody patch on her arm and relishing in the pain for a second. Erin looked at her throughout the one good eye that she still had and her gaze was shockingly blunt.

"Can he protect me?" she asked. "Against the men that will come after me. Because they know that I have escaped by now. And if this Sherriff is half as powerful as they say—" she jerked her head towards the curtain but Marian knew what she was trying to say and how she could counter it.

"Yes" Marian said truthfully. The idea of the Sherriff sent shivers down her spine and she wanted to duck under the water where the warmth and the safety protected her but she couldn't look away from the bright blue of Erin's gaze. She wanted to look this woman in the eye when she answered her.

"Yes they can. Because you are safe here. And the Sherriff has never found this camp. He has never had the chance to name half of the outlaws following Robin. Besides if his plan is to kill the King then you will not factor much in his plans…as for the Black Knights well…there are men outside this camp that are itching for a chance to get their swords into them"

Erin gazed at her with that forthright gaze and then she nodded turning her head so that the bruises at her neck were shockingly glaring.

"Alright" she said staring at the door. "What happens if I walk out of the camp?"

"You walk into the forest" Marian said a little confused.

"And then?"

"And then what?"

Erin looked at her as if she was making a very simple conversation very difficult.

"And then who stops me?"

"Nobody. Nobody's going to stop you from walking though you might want to be careful. If they think you are an Outlaw the guards will take you captive"

Erin said nothing for a second and then the curtain opened.

Marian got a look of Robin with his wide eyes and then he was gone. She ducked underneath the water telling herself that it was because she wanted to wash herself and not because she was afraid of what Robin would see if she was naked.

It shouldn't bother her she thought. She was a woman for an age that was not 1192. She had lost everything so what did it matter? And it was Robin so what did she have to be afraid of? After all with those secret nights that they had been in her bedroom (which she dearly hoped her father had not been aware off) they had kissed and touched and fumbled more than she suspected she and Guy ever would have.

Robin dithered and Marian decided to be brave.

"Oh for the love off—come in you noble idiot"

Robin did looking at the floor. Erin caught Marian's eye and gave a small giggle moving past Robin (still giving him a slightly wide birth) and then leaving the two of them alone. Standing there sandwiched between two curtains, the one shielding Djaq and Will and the one shielding Erin (before you got to the door of the camp) it was just Robin and her and she winced at the pain in her shoulder and moved so that it was eased a little not caring—so she hoped—that her body was more easily seen than before.

Robin looked up caught a full glimpse of her and then looked away. Marian saw the blush come to his cheeks and felt the bizarre and unmistakable urge to giggle.

Honestly. Men.

"Hello Robin" she said finally unsure of what else there was to say. She was not used to feeling this out of sorts.

She did not have to worry.

Naturally Robin carried the conversation as naturally as breathing though he was still looking at his boots.

"I went to the castle, doesn't look like they know you've escaped."

"Maybe they didn't know that we had been taken" she said into the quiet. "Maybe these Black Knights were not arguing on the Sherriff's orders?"

Robin looked as if he wanted to argue but said nothing. Indeed the more Marian watched him the more she thought that he was debating something. Then without warning he looked at her straight in the eye.

"I saw Gisbourne"

Marian felt that complicated little flutter of feelings when she heard his name. It was always complicated with Guy. It had been a annoyance putting up with the flirtation, a bit of flattery that came with it and had for a long time been dread at their upcoming wedding. But there had also been the beginnings of an understanding and she had once caught herself thinking that perhaps children would sooth the rough edges. Perhaps she could use his feelings for her and who knew on her part? Marriages she had thought had been made good on less.

Of course she had chosen her choice now but she did acknowledge that for a man who genuinely loved her she had acted rather…well…rude in front of most of the nobility.

He was not Robin. He would never be Robin. But she did not hold to the belief shared by many that he was pure evil either.

"Oh" was all she said.

Robin looked at her and Marian wondered if he knew anything about that complicated little thought. She did not want to look at him so she looked down at the blood that was still crusting under her nails.

"They made me fight" she said finally staring at the cuts and the bruises that she could see. She had not had a chance to look at herself in a mirror—actually she did not think the Outlaw's had one—and her own had been crushed by the fire no doubt. But she knew enough looking at Erin and Djaq that she must look worse than they did and they looked bad.

Robin came a little closer and sat down leaning his back against the bath tub. His hair was curling down his neck now, the close cut crop he'd worn presumedly when he was a soldier growing out. Marian raised a hand out of the bath but didn't touch. Instead she leaned her head back against the tub and stared at the sky. Robin leaned back so that his head was resting against her hand.

"I know" he said heavily. "Did you beat them?"

Marian laughed though her ribs screamed in protest. "Yes" she said grinning. She ran a hand over her face so that the water covered up any remnants of tears. she dropped her hand back into the depths as soon as she saw the blood that was in front of her.

"They killed my father" she said after a pause.

"I know" Robin said heavily.

"He put up a fight" she said into the silence.

"Course he would" Robin said still not looking at her. "He loved you with everything he had. Did you really think he was going to let anyone take you without a fight"

Marian said nothing for a while and then the thing she had been battling, the big ugly creature inside of her came out.

It was Robin. He would understand. And more to the point he would get her a straight answer.

"It was my fault"

Robin said nothing and Marian took that to plough onwards. She did not think that she could stop even if she tried.

"It was my fault. I hit Gisbourne, I humiliated him, I helped to expose the Sherriff. I was the Nightwatchman even when he begged me to stop. You were right, I put myself at risk time and time again and I did not do it for the reasons I told you. I did want some kind of glory. I did want to help but also it gave me a thrill. And It got him killed. Even if Guy is not responsible there would have still been retribution. All he wanted was for me to stop and I had to go and have one final fling. You were right, I did use him as an excuse. Because it was easy, so easy to just be the Nightwatchman and go home to my warm house and fire. And now it's all gone"

Robin said nothing for a while and then he turned and she could see that his eyes were bright and burning. It was the look he had once had when he had told her he was going to the Crusades, when just the previous week he had begged her to give up her marriage and damn the consequences. Well she had and now here were the consequences.

"I know you loved your father, I loved him too" he said quietly. "There were times when he stepped in when I was a young Lord that saved me more than once, he was kind and considerate and like a father to me too. And because he was all of those things I know what he would say to you if he was here. He was always going to die defending you Marian. He loved you. You were his whole world and he was never going to let anyone take that away from him. He fought in his own way to protect you and though he disapproved he did understand your actions as the Nightwatchman"

Marian looked at him through eyes she knew where bright with tears. She let them fall, for her father and for herself and Robin took her hand and kissed the bandaged wounds and Marian let herself cry silently for her father and for the simple world that he had lived in which was gone from them forever.

She wiped her eyes and Robin said nothing. He let her carry on the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Do you think Guy knew?"

"I don't know" Robin said honestly. His mouth twisted into something violent and ugly and when he spoke his words were in a harsh growl. "He was playing the part of a man in grief"

Marian said nothing. The animosity between Guy and Robin was too much for her to make a comment on it now but she hoped that Guy had not known that she was captured, despite it being easy for a while if the world thought her dead she also did not want to think that Guy would kill her father, that he would put her through that. No matter how much she had cost him she did not want that little part of him that she knew was good. He was a good man she knew.

"I know what your thinking" Robin said warningly. "Don't. He tried to kill the King Marian, he actually did kill you and I would put all the gold in my war chest that he knew what was going to happen. He's not some lost puppy that can be taught how to behave."

Marian said nothing. She knew Robin was right. But at the same time she did believe that there was good in him.

"I believe there is good in people Robin, nobody is born inherently evil and if you ever think that I have lost that then I want you to shoot me with your bow and arrows on the spot"

Robin said nothing but there was a flicker of a smile back on his face. Marian looked away. She wanted to hug him and she wanted him to hold him and she wanted to not ask the question she was asking but she did because it was Robin and she was naked and exposed and she was not talking about her lack of clothes.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything?"

"Do you still like me? They did a number on me, I'm bruised and battered and…I'm not…pretty…it's stupid I know but—"

Robin leaned forwards his fingertip on the bottom of her chin forcing her to look at him.

"You have never looked more beautiful to me than you have now Marian" he said softly. "And I can wait as long as it takes for you. I have you now. I'm not going to give you up"

Marian let out a sob, Robin caught her hand again turning it so that it was palm upwards and his kiss on her ruined hands was as soft and gentle as a feather and his smile still showing that despite the outlaw, the battle hardened man, the broken man, he was still had some of the boy in her who all those years ago she had fallen in love with.

Djaq was awakened again by the dream, it was always the same dream, a flash of red, blood on the sands of her home, the red of her mother's headscarf, the red of Marian's dress and the red of the woman who had spoken with her sister's voice.

She knew it was wishful thinking.

Gisela was dead.

But still. It had felt so real. It had felt like she was there, that she had pulled her back from the brink rather than be a figment of the imagination of a dying woman.

She shifted a little. Will was sat at the edge of the bed carving something but he looked up and his eyes and his smile were warm as always, soft as always and filled with the emotion that despite it all she still longed for. You'd have thought that time would have taught her that you couldn't get what you wanted.

"Marian's just drying off. Once she's done Much will refill the bath and you can go in. We got some new clothes, well dresses for Erin and Marian though Allan thinks Marian will adopt your dress sense within a week. We couldn't…we err…we didn't know if you'd want your old clothes so we got you some new ones. There still that purple colour you like but just a bit darker…and cleaner…"

"Thank you Will" Djaq said to cut off the rambling if nothing else. It was sweet and on a normal day she probably would have enjoyed listening to it a bit more but this was not a normal day. Right now her head was still full of dreams of blood stained sands, dark curls and that flash of red that was more bloody than blood itself and the terrible chasm that seemed to have awoken inside of her.

"You talk in your sleep" Will mumbled blushing. It took Djaq a second for her brain to comprehend that and when it did she felt horror trickle down her spine like a rain drop.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

Allah no. She had not done anything stupid in her dreams had she? Like confess her love? Had she not been through enough without adding that humiliation onto the pile?

"Oh?"

"You mentioned a name a lot. Gisela"

He stated it as a fact nothing else and Djaq nodded.

"She was my sister. My little sister"

"Oh" Will blinked in surprise. "You didn't ment—is she alive?"

"No" Djaq said finally as the truth hit her again, that it had been a figment of her imagination, a hallucination like the kind soldiers saw on the battlefield in their dying moments.

"No she's not alive"

It was the first time she admitted to herself that her sister was dead. That her beautiful, vicious sister was dead and gone and that she was alone, truly and utterly alone.

And with that the tears spilled over and she was sobbing. She was sobbing for herself, for the humiliation she had endured in that cave, the jeering and the comments and the spitting and the never ending violence she had seen, she was sobbing for her family too and she didn't know if she could stop since she had been bottling this in for so long.

"Oh no…no, no, no, no Djaq don't cry please, I didn't mean to make you cry. Honestly. We can talk about something else if you want"

He was sitting next to her then and she was sobbing her heart out on his chest feeling the firm muscles under her cheek and being rocked backwards and forwards.

Finally though she stopped. She pulled back and wiped her hands under her eyes.

"Sorry" she muttered feeling unbearable foolish.

"You don't have to apologise for crying. When…when my mother died I cried for a whole week, still do sometimes. It just got easier to get angry because I knew that didn't upset my Dad half as much as the crying did"

Djaq took a sip of wine and then a gulp feeling the burn scorch down her throat.

"I saw her" she said finally. "I saw what she would be today, in my mind, as I was fading, she told me to hang on, to fight. It was just—"

"Real" Will finished for her. He looked out over the camp and it seemed to Djaq that he was debating with himself for a second.

"You know when Robin rescued me I was due to hang with my brother? Luke fell asleep that night before but I didn't. I sat with his head in my lap the whole night and just watched the sun fall and rise again. He woke up once calling for Mother. Sometimes It just hits you, and you've been through more than most. If you want to cry go ahead. Tunic needed washing anyway Much is on one of his cleaning moods. He'll be glad to get this washed"

Djaq laughed even though this time yesterday she would have never thought she would laugh again.

"Bath's ready" came Robin's voice and Djaq stood up feeling the ache in her ankles at the movement. A hot bath, a cup of strong tea and some sleep and that would do her some good she knew.

It was time to let the past go.

She knew that too.

Erin had not meant to go far.

Actually she had not been sure that she could.

For everything Marian had said about walking, running, leaving…she had not thought that she could.

She had gone outside as the woman had bathed only to see Robin enter the camp. Clearly his relationship with Marian was as such that neither one of them minded seeing the other naked. Erin wondered if she would ever feel like that with anyone.

She wanted to sit down on the dirt but her knee protested at that when she tried and she did not want to get her new dress dirty. She couldn't remember wearing anything this luxurious before. Actually she couldn't remember the last time she'd had anything to wear that went down to her knees. She looked down at the boots on her feet and wriggled her toes. Shoes too were a foreign concept and the leather around her feet were soft and warm.

She took another step forwards. Much had gone in search of more water taking John and Allan with them and she was quite alone outside the camp. If what Marian was saying was true she was quite free to be able to walk in this forest without anyone to stop her.

She took another step closing her eyes and trying to ignore the phantom weight of the chain around her ankle or her hand that would be pulling her back to the wall. Erin opened her eyes again and then started running. It was hard. She had never ran before not properly, not without men after her for sport and she ducked through the trees stopped and swirling around when the wind hit her. She kicked leaves as she ran and laughed.

She could not remember the last time she had laughed.

She span around and her knee gave out but she didn't mind the flicker of pain. She staggered falling onto the leaves and letting the simple pleasure of freedom hit her all at once.

She leaned against the bark of a tree trunk and watched the lake. She had come alongside it and the water was smooth and shining perfectly reflecting the sun, the wind was coming off the lake and it was all hitting her in the face. She was warm with the sun and yet cool at the same time and above all free.

Erin leaned back a little her body uncoiling a little more and without warning, suddenly, fell asleep.

And there you are, I hope you enjoy this chapter and i will bring the next one to you sooner rather than later.

Next Chapter-Erin reawakens to a nightmare. Allan finds himself side by side with the woman with he is growing feelings for and Much serves dinner to a camp still reeling with aftershocks.