Hi, so here is another chapter and I hope you all enjoy, we are moving fast through this story and as i always promise a sequel is in the works and looks now like it is finally coming together.

As always please let me know what you think and i will do my best to update as soon as possible.

I wish you all a Happy Easter.

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And as always TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter as for all the others.

Faith Based Initiative

Chapter 15-Silent All These Years.

Erin reawakens to a nightmare. Allan finds himself side by side with the woman he is slowly growing to care for (deeply) and Much serves dinner to a camp still reeling with aftershocks.

He had not intended to cause trouble.

Really, that could be the story of Allan's life.

The camp had broken off a little once the bath had been used. Much had been muttering dire threats about keeping it for the Outlaws. Robin had been all for it as had Much but they had been in the minority and more to the point the nobility. Marian too was used to a bath more than the average serf and Djaq spoke of a time in the Holy Lands were you bathed three times a week.

Allan, Will and John were not of that persuasion. They were poorer people and they bathed rarely. Allan's parents had, had a bath nearly three times a year and had used water to wash the rest of the time and that had been perfectly good for him too. Will had been the same and as for John…well…what John had been doing in the forest Allan and Will had both decided a long time ago that they did not want to think about it.

So when Much had ominously pointed a toasting fork in John's direction and suggested (as they now had two women staying with them—Djaq always being considered as one of the lads) that he have a proper bath both Will and Allan had taken the hint and scarpered. Will hated baths with a passion and Allan personally did not see the point of getting clean when all you were going to do was get filthy again.

After all, they lived in a forest not in a palace.

He had gone walking. Well Will had gone to the castle in order to get any information about the Black Knights and Allan was supposed to be getting water but he had gone walking. In truth he wanted both to clear his head and look for Erin which was rather contradictory as his head seemed to be filled with Erin.

She had gone walking or at least Allan assumed that was what she was going to do. She had told Marian that she was surprised she could go anywhere and Allan upon hearing that had felt something wrench a little inside of him that, that basic freedom he took for granted even as his freedoms were curtailed as an outlaw was so strange for her to wrap her head around. It was all just so…tragic.

The problem was that while he understood the desire the practical side of it was not safe. The Sherriff might be taking a lull in his hunt for them right now (no doubt brought about by the desire to see the Black Knights plan set in stone) but the forest did bring about the odd one or two guard and Erin would be prime target for them even if they didn't know who she was.

Erin.

He kicked the leaves viciously. Erin tied into the problem herself without any fault. It was not her fault that he was feeling this way, indeed he did know really what this feeling was. He had no experience with it other than what he had seen in Will and John and Robin and even to some extent Gisbourne. He had not had the most loving childhood or parents who would go to the ends of the world for each other. He had loved Tom and he knew that in his own way Tom had loved him but they had always fought like cats in a basket and the chasm of loss came after he had died and not before.

And then there was the camp which had divided neatly into little pairs. John so deeply in love with his wife and only know acknowledging that it was safe to move on. Will who'd only had eyes for Djaq since the second that he had seen her and whom had loved her deeply and passionately and silently for so long and Robin and Marian who were the consummate love story defying everyone and anything to be together even now.

Even Gisbourne in his own way loved Marian. Allan loathed the man utterly but he would if he was being generous (and he was never usually that generous) admit that he man had tried.

And then there was Much who had loved someone called Eve once and lost her and whom had never spoke much about anyone else. Allan had to admit it to himself he was lonely. And again there was a pull to Erin when he thought about her, broken and crumpled on the ground but pulling herself back up even though she must be scared to death. There was an innocence under everything and he found he wanted to protect it, defend it, defend her and make sure that she knew that there was nothing that he wouldn't defend her against.

Was that love? Was this feeling in his stomach what Robin felt when he looked at Marian? There was nobody to ask, though was there and asking the woman herself…

Given the choice he'd rather take another shot at the noose. After all what was he going to do? Confess that he slowly thought he was falling in love with her—whatever love was—two days after she had escaped her own personal hell?

Allan might not understand woman (find him a bloke who did) but even he knew that probably wouldn't go down to well.

He paused peering through the trees. For a second he thought he was hallucinating. That was not a completely unusual thing, considering all that he had been through in the last two days. It seemed like the world itself had gone upside down and there were no surprises left.

He peered looking at what had caught his attention his stomach coiling into knots.

Yes, there was Erin curled beneath a tree her hair spread out like some golden pillow behind her and she was fast asleep. It would have been a pretty picture had Allan not been aware that she was closer to town than she should have been and that the cracking of twigs in the distance might not be children playing.

Deciding it was better to seek forgiveness in this instance than anything else he stepped forwards and touched her shoulder. He did not have to do more than that because the blue eyes flashed open first in sleepy recognition and then with the shadow of fear that seemed to be habitual right now.

Allan hated it.

He put his finger to his lips and pointed in the direction that the noise was coming from. Erin stood up her hair a wash with leaves and brushed down her dress. Allan took her hand and they crept out of immediate danger until they found a hollow in the ground covered by a few branches that had in the past been used by the Outlaws as an hidden route. Erin sat down on the earth and Allan followed.

"We should be safe here till they past by" he said finally.

"Who are they?" Erin breathed.

"Could be kids mucking around in the forest, more than likely it's the Sherriff's soldiers doing drills. Either way it's best that nobody sees us. If it is the Sherriff his soldiers have to pass by here to go back to town so we should know that she was safe"

There was a pause and then Erin nodded. She looked slightly sick.

"Sorry" Allan said finally. "I know you don't want to be in the dark with a man but…"

"Oh it's not that" Erin said finally her whole body a tight wire of tension. "I'm use to that—"

"You shouldn't have to be" Allan said cutting across her and battling hard to keep his temper under control. "You should have never—" he shook his head violently wishing he could get rid of the images that seemed to be in his brain.

"No" Erin said slowly as if she was testing the word. "No. No I shouldn't. But…but I did. And now…it's all strange, it feels like I was living this nightmare that just wouldn't stop and the world was rushing on with me. And now…now I don't know how to be me anymore. Not that I am completely sure who I was before. And this doesn't make any sense does it…"

"In a way it does" Allan said trying to understand the image that she was creating.

"You don't know who you are outside that cave and you want to try?"

Erin considered this for a second.

"Yes" she said finally. "That's as close as I can explain it"

There was a crunching sound and she stopped talking. Without warning she scooted backwards as far as she could go her hair covering her face with Allan knew without looking at her was marred with fear.

He reached out and ran a finger across hers giving her every indication that she could pull away. When she didn't he took her hand in his feeling the thin bones underneath. Erin moved a little closer so that she was hiding half behind him in the tight space she had created in an even tighter space and Allan peered through the branches hardly daring to breath.

He was right it had been the Sherriff's men doing drills and now returning to the forest. He was sure they were not a scouting party (he might not be the soldier that Robin and Much were but he knew enough to know that a hunting party required more) but he also knew that he was only so good with a sword, hopelessly outnumbered and with a woman who as far as he had known had never picked up one never mind used it.

There was a pause where they crouched there Erin's hand clasped in his own. He ran the pad of his thumb across the skin without thinking and she took another breath it catching. There was a pause as one soldiers stopped and Allan without thinking wrapped his other arm around her trembling body and pulled her close letting her head rest on his shoulder. She burrowed her face in his neck and he was assaulted with the smell of rosewater which Matilda used and lavender and a mess of buttery blonde hair and he felt her ribs press against him.

There was another long moment that they waited and then the footsteps carried on and there was silence. As loath as he was to interrupt this moment where Erin was pressed against him warm and trusting he knew he needed to check that they could get back to camp in one piece.

"Give me a second" he said finally standing up. He smoothed back her hair a little and pushed the branches aside. One quick check showed that the coast was clear and he helped Erin out of the little hidey hole and she brushed leaves of her dress.

"Sorry about that" he said feeling exceptionally sub-conscious. "I shouldn't have…you know…grabbed you without your permission"

"I didn't mind that you did"

It came out of Erin's mouth and clearly she was surprised by it. She dropped her eyes down to the floor and then after a pause where Allan felt like she'd punched him in the ribs. Fuck he really did not know what to say when women were like this…where was Will when you needed him he seemed to do alright in these situations?

Well Djaq hadn't slugged him yet which was something.

"I don't…it didn't…you don't scare me Allan"

And that meant more to him than gold in that moment. He wanted her to look at him but he didn't know how to do it. Instead he reached for a leaf which had entangled itself into her hair and pulled it out. She watched him with those big blue eyes, tracking his movements and the very air seemed to still around them. It would be so easy Allan thought right now to kiss her but he didn't know if he should…

Fuck…

"That means a lot" he said finally. Erin nodded and then took a step backwards and just like that the warm spell between the two of them was broken. There was a pause where she looked at him and then nodded looking away as if she was blinded somewhat by what she saw. Allan knew the feeling only too well.

"We should go back to camp." Allan said thickly through what felt like a fog of dense perfume making him sleepy.

"Much will be cooking dinner. You hungry?"

That got him the flicker of a smile.

"Always"

"Good."

"Allan…" she said as she began to walk alongside him. "Does the Sherriff's troops in the forest mean that they are looking for me?"

"Oh not necessarily" and then he launched into telling her several stories about reasons the Sherriff's men were in the forest which curtailed effectively any urge to kiss her which he had been battling with a quiet intensity for a long time.

Much stirred the stew and then took the pot off the boil. John had gone out and found him a decent sized chicken and added together with the potatoes, the onion and the wild mushrooms it was an easy enough dinner.

Sometimes Much really did miss the Holy Lands. Not the death and the decay and the disease or the sand (oh horrors, the sand!) but there were things he missed and one of them was the food. The Holy Lands had been awash with fresh herbs and spices that could make the food, any food taste better. Spices and herbs and flavouring and he wished he'd had the foresight to bring back with him.

Sometimes English cuisine was so boring.

Djaq had agreed with him when he had mentioned this. Marian had looked rather alarmed when she had talked about cumin and chilli and other herbs that she had never of but had managed to say she was willing to try. John and Will refused flat outright as had Allan because according to the three of them so long as they got a slab of hot food three times a day it was a good day.

Personally, Much thought the three of them would eat uncooked meat if he left them alone to prepare for dinner and wondered if he should ask Erin if she knew how to cook so if in the unfortunate event of his death his friends would not have to resort to eating each other.

He ladled out the stew into bowls and passed them around. Marian now clad in a green dress, the mass of dark curls pushed back with some elaborate headgear that Much was willing to bet Robin had stolen for this purpose was leaning heavily against a tree but took a bowl and the slice of buttered bread with a smile and a thank you. Robin barely left her side and Djaq now clean and clad in a shirt that was probably once Will's and a pair of trousers (again probably Will's) was smiling though her head was bandaged and Marian's hands were clumsy. John took his food with a grunt, Will with the good manners his mother had ingrained in him and Robin with a small smile. That just left three bowls, one for him, one for Allan and one for Erin the latter of the who were who the hell knows where.

"He said he was going for a walk" John said when Much volunteered the opinion that perhaps Allan might want to be back for dinner.

"Probably going to look for Erin."

"Well I hope he doesn't do anything stupid" Marian said a bit of colour coming back into her face. "I promised her she'd be safe and I meant it. I don't think she's ready for anything other than putting one foot in front of the other right now"

"Allan's not a completely stupid lad" that was John. "He knows the poor lass has been through hell. If he did want more than companionship with her I reckon he knows to give it time"

"Bout time he got someone though" Will said very quietly. "You too Much"

Much ignored him. The less said about his love life the better as far as he was concerned.

Thankfully nobody said anything. There was the sound of padding footsteps and Allan came into view Erin trailing a little after him still week on her knee. Both looked like they had been spending time in a hedge and Much saw John frown a little.

"Sherriff's men doing patrols east side of the wood" Allan said to Robin taking his bowl and bread with a nod. Much filled out a bowl and a jug of ale for Erin who stared at it for a second and then seemingly following Allan's lead sat down on the floor next to him eating with small slow bites as if she half expected it to vanish in front of her. Much made a mental note to fatten her up as soon as humanly possible…

"We'll talk tomorrow" Robin decreed and dinner carried on in silence with a smattering of conversation from Marian who told Erin that her bed was to be next to Djaq's and on a small mattress on the floor until Will could get a bunk added. Will looked nothing short of thrilled at the prospect to have something to sink his axe into and grinned when Erin shyly said her thanks.

"Where were the two of you anyway?" Robin asked finally. "Gathering honey?"

It was an old euphemism that they had heard in the Holy Land used by soldiers (among other words). Much snorted into his stew.

"Were we supposed to get honey?" Erin asked looking utterly confused.

"No" Marian said with a disgusted look at Robin who was grinning. "No you weren't Erin, Robin was just proving the point that all men are idiots, even the nice ones"

Erin said nothing to that. Allan rolled his eyes.

"You'll get used to it" he said to Erin who smiled and it looked to Much at least that the light of life was coming a little bit, back into her eyes.

And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The next one will be up soon.

Next Chapter-John (despite his grave misgivings) attempts to talk to Allan, Marian takes the tentative steps to being who she was once. Djaq attempts to try telling Will her trauma of the cave and Erin takes a bigger and bolder step than she intended to when she ends up in town.