Hi, all so here is Chapter 17. I know i have kept you waiting for this chapter and i apologise but since Lockdown in the UK has (mostly) been lifted work has been crazy and so has everything else. Therefore i hope you enjoy this chapter and i will do my best to bring you the next one sooner rather than later (fingers crossed)

Disclaimer-Nothing in here but the character of Erin is mine.

Also Massive TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter.

Please Read and Review.

Faith Based Initiative

Chapter 17-Much To Much

The Outlaws realise that something is wrong and a ghost appears on the horizon. Trigger Warnings for this chapter.

Will listened. There was nothing else to do but listen as Djaq talked. He was aware, dimly through the roaring of his ears that Marian and Robin were still fighting, that they were laughing as they did so and that Much returning with three rabbits skewered on a stick that he was now taking the skin off was offering advice.

That gave them a modicum of privacy and for that he was grateful if he got nothing else out of this.

He found that he wanted to scream and it was only due to the clamping down of his teeth that he managed to avoid it. Djaq finished explaining what was had taken place in the cave and then turned to look at him and Will was suddenly hyper aware that he was going to have to speak and that everything that he had ever wanted in a relationship with Djaq was hanging (painfully) on what he would say next.

In the end he went with the truth.

"I am…so…sorry Djaq. I had no idea…I just…I don't…we should have gotten to you sooner"

Djaq watched him for a second through those long eyelashes and then shook her head.

"That's not why I am telling you Will. I do not place blame on you. You did not know and had Erin not gotten to you we would either still be there or more than likely be dead"

Will flinched, he could not help himself. That was the one thing he did not want to think about. She had been half dead when he had first seen her and it had felt like someone had reached out through his chest and ribs and bone and blood and found his heart and crushed it beneath phantom fingers. He had been thinking about it in moments alone, the depth and the density of the feelings that had increased as time went on and had become even more intense since the cave. He had found himself thinking of it over his woodwork which was never good as twice he'd nearly carved Djaq's name into what he knew was going to be Erin's bunk.

"I know you don't" he said finally. "But that doesn't mean that I do not blame myself. I knew something was up when you didn't come back in the morning and instead we made one mistake after another and spent a day and a half fighting about the fucking King! All the mistakes that we made…we should have been able to find you and Marian without Erin because had she not been there—"

He cut himself off abruptly and looked away willing himself to control his emotions. He kept the ones that he felt about Djaq locked down into a box far away and when he did take them out it was when he had privacy and it was dark and he could dream and be uninterpreted.

"We will kill the Black Knights" he vowed. "And we will save the King"

"You said the King might not be able to be saved"

Will explained the conversation that they had before and Djaq watched wide eyed.

"I suppose you do not have this problem in the Holy Lands" Will said with a wry smile. Djaq gave him a rather sardonic look. "No" she said dryly. "After all that's what were fighting for. A King"

Will thought that Robin and Much might have something to say about that but the intricacies of politics and foreign affairs had nothing to do with him. All he had wanted was a wife and a children, a good house and money in the pot and a decent trade.

That had gone when he had spent what he had thought was his last night on this world. Luke had slept that endless night when they had thought themselves to be hanged upon dawn's break, Gideon too and even Allan had dosed off filled with adrenaline, but Will had stayed awake clutching Luke to him and rocking his brother back and forth numbly watching the sky turn different colours. It had been illuminating, trying to find peace with a world that had been cruel to them already and there had been a sort of weary resignation when he had got up that morning.

If there had been anything that he would have changed (not his actions) it would have been that he had been solely taking the blame. Luke would have been free. And his father would not have had to see his sons swing even if it was for five minutes.

That feeling still haunted him, the feel of the rope wrapped around his neck and the agonising desire to breathe even as something was pressing hard against your windpipe preventing that. Had Robin not made the decision to sacrifice everything Will knew then and now that he had been in for a slow agonising death as the Sherriff would not allow any interference.

He felt like that now. All of the things he wanted to say but he knew he could not. After what he had heard Djaq endured how could he suddenly dump a load of feelings, messy and complicated to boot on her just like that? How fair would that be to her?

Just as he was thinking this (and being steeped in more and more misery along the way) she spoke again in her quiet voice and Will had to pull himself out of his memories and his mind and the dark thoughts swirling round just in time to catch what she was saying.

"Are you…do you mind that I…told you Will it's just…"

Will cut her off before she could get lost inside her own head. He knew how dark a road a person could go down when an idea like that was presented. It was not something he would ever let Djaq think. If friendship was all he was ever going to get then he was going to be the best friend he could possibly be to her.

"You can tell me anything" he said with a soft grin (or what he hoped was a soft grin and not a pained and twisted grimace) "Your my best friend Djaq. I want you to be able to come to me and I want you to know that nothing, nothing that you have told me changes my opinion of you. You are still one of the best fighters I have ever picked up a sword with"

And you are also the most beautiful woman I have ever seen as well, he thought but he kept that to himself.

Thankfully.

Djaq looked at him with wide eyes filled with emotion and then she hugged him pressing her side against his side and Will took the opportunity to relish the closeness that he never really got unless of course they were trapped in some chamber waiting for the Sherriff to leave and/or kill them.

It was nice not to be in danger now.

Not for the first time he mourned the loss of the life he had expected. The one where he would marry a girl from the village (though she had now been replaced with Djaq in his mind—firmly) and take over his father's trade with children running around his feet and food on his table. He did not dwell on things that could not be too often but now for some reason he could not stop himself from thinking about strong children with golden eyes and soft brown hair and a wicked smile that could of course make beautiful things for their mother with wood and swirl their swords around and think that they could do anything in this world.

He shook himself out of those thoughts when he heard Marian come back to camp. She was white again and covered in a thin sheen of sweat but she was beaming. Robin was massaging his ribs and while Will knew that his friend would do anything for the woman he loved but he would not take her for a fool. He would not fake a losing fight and Marian would not let him.

"I think my bandages need changing" she groaned looking thrilled. Djaq tutted under her breath and jumped up pulling the other woman behind the curtain. Robin sat down looking exhausted. It was much the way Will was feeling.

He went back to Erin's bunk.

Robin bless him, didn't say anything but watched him hacking away with his axe (with renewed gusto) with both sad and knowing eyes.

Will didn't look back.

John and Allan had brought back enough fish and rabbit for Much to make whatever those things were on sticks cooked over a fire and enough fish for dinner for the next week. All in all it was shaping up to be a good couple of weeks of food. Especially as they had vegetables and herbs.

"Where's Erin?"

"Gone for another walk" Much replied to Allan's question.

"Still?" Marian asked looking up from where she was helping Much shell peas (badly—cooking skills had never been Marian's forte), "She's been gone for most of the day"

"She's probably walked into the village and ended up in the tavern" Robin said shrewdly.

"With what money?"

"She doesn't need money Allan, she's a pretty girl" Robin said innocently though his mouth was twitching at the tease. "There's probably a line waiting to buy her drinks"

Allan looked mutinous.

There was a clanging noise and they all looked up.

"Another prize" Robin said grinning and reaching for his bow. "About time, I was beginning to think that they had forgotten we were here."

"That's not a trap" John said frowning, "That's your warning bell. Something wrong in one of the villages"

Robin grinned again and this time it was a darker grin than before.

"Good, I need an excuse not to shoot the Sherriff right now."

"Don't even think about it" Will said sternly and Much followed his gaze to see Marian and Djaq both standing. "Marian you still cannot fight for longer than five minutes and Djaq has a head injury"

Both Djaq and Marian looked mutinous. Much gave it another three days at best before they started fighting back. Personally he didn't like his master or Will's chances in winning that fight.

And with that thought he went to collect his shield and sword. Perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps the prickle of anticipation that he felt (and continued to feel since Antioch, whenever he was in danger or about to go into it) was simply just a false alarm.

(Personally, he wasn't very hopeful)

Erin paused crouching low behind the barn before she pushed open the door a crack and slipped inside.

She had done it before her courage could leave her and in truth it was lucky that she was so thin as she managed to hide behind the hay without the man turning around.

Apparently he was not in the mood for torture. Erin knew the sounds well. He had come just for the killing and soon with the horrible sound of bones breaking the young girl who had been getting water out of the well for her friends was dead on the floor her only crime being beautiful and young and free in a world where such things were dangerous…at least for a woman.

She felt sick. She felt utterly sick and more to the point she knew this was her fault. He had never brought girls and killed them before, since she had escaped her guards had been without their usual release and pleasure and this she could imagine only too well would be the start of the carnage that would follow.

But suddenly, despite the fear and despite the terror and the nausea she felt Erin felt something else bubble inside of her.

Anger.

No. Not anger.

Fury.

And somehow that was what drove her to do what she did next.

Erin stood up, knife gripped in hand with a scream of some kind of emotion she did not understand she whirled it straight into his upper shoulder. The force it took left her breathless and he roared swinging his fist his eyes wide in recognition of her and the blow in her face hit her directly on her just healing eye. She staggered backwards with the blow into the barn just as a foot connected with her ribs making her gasp and cough. He yanked the knife out and dropped it to the floor behind her and she scrabbled in the dirt as the look on his face even with his one eye was the same as she remembered right before…

She was going to die. Erin had known the eventuality of a possibility like this but despite the terror she was surprised to find that she was actually desperate for it not to happen. She had not realised until now how much she wanted life. How much she wanted freedom.

Briefly her mind conjured up an image of blue eyes and she smiled. She had not realised how much she wanted love. Or that she was capable of such an emotion.

And then her hand touched steal and as the panting, smiling one eyed demon that had caused so much terror stalked closer she brought the knife forwards again and this time she hit his stomach. He roared backwards again but the roaring in Erin's ears was stronger than what he was saying and she pushed forwards her hands, her face and her dress wet and slippery with blood and he fell to the ground. She pulled the knife out and even as his hands grappled for her throat and she dug it in again and again until the hand realised her and the body lay quite still.

He was dead.

She fell backwards onto the ground breathing in heavily. The body lay quite still.

He was dead.

He was dead.

He was dead.

It was over.

Had you asked Erin what she had been thinking about there and then she honestly could not have been able to tell you. Even months later she would not have been able to form an answer. She found that she could not move, that she could not think. She heard the door open but in all honesty she could not have cared less if the King walked in at that moment.

All she could see was the roof of the barn above her and the dust specks that were floating and the shock that was beginning to set in and she was aware of red, so much red. Blood red, bright red…and dark hair?

Something was said in a language that she couldn't understand and she felt hot and cold at the same time. Something or someone roughly turned her onto her side and she vomited her arm curling around her. She was forced upwards into a sitting position and she caught a glimpse of crimson gloves before her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed backwards into something hard and yet soft and she fell into the depths of unconsciousness.

And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter and hopefully the next will come soon.

Next Chapter-The Outlaws realise something is really, really wrong, Marian puts the past to rest as she begins to form a plan and Erin wakes up in the strangest place possible.