Hi everyone, here we are the Penultimate Chapter of this story! I want to thank you all so far for your support of this Part One of this Trilogy and I hope to see you all for the final chapter.

This sets up both the final chapter and the next sequel so I hope you all enjoy.

The thoughts of Erin especially the bit about her being 'spoilt' was the historical view of woman in the tenth/eleventh century. That view thankfully has changed dramatically over the course of the centuries.

I am debating making the second part of the this trilogy an M Rated Story. Please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just the character of Erin.

TRIGGER WARNINGS for the usual triggers in this story.

Please Read and Review.

Faith Based Initiative

Chapter 21-The Things We Left Behind.

It is the penultimate chapter of this story and Marian plays her cards to become a spy for the gang. However she cannot do it alone and one person's decision will create ripples that will have long lasting effects to come.

For a moment the Outlaws (and Erin) were stunned into complete silence and for one shivering second so was Guy of Gisbourne. And then Robin exploded.

Erin who had been stood there moved a little towards the bushes her knee forcing her to the ground mud under her hands, the pain flared up but it was nothing really as, as one the Outlaws moved to towards their leader. Will clamped a hand down on Robin's mouth, John and Allan were bodily dragging him away and Much had grabbed his feet to stop him from kicking out as Robin thrashed like a fish out of water. Even Djaq went to help hissing that they all needed to shut up least they be discovered. Erin wanted to help too but she'd been on the end of too many a man kicking and thrashing and screaming and right now the last she wanted was another bruise.

It was slightly unnerving to realise that. That she could want better, that she deserved better than what she had been given. For so long she had suffered in silence and taken it for no other reason than she'd had no choice, no escape and no power and in the space of two weeks she had reclaimed all that she had forgotten that she had. It was hard enough for a woman in this world regardless of status, religion or country she was seeing that first hand and yet somehow she felt she had taken one step closer to being the woman she should have been—a woman of the future—and away from that girl of ghost and shadow that was her past.

Marian was still kneeling on the ground as the man in black was dismounting looking at her as if she was a ghost. Between him, Marian and Robin there was a past here that she was missing. Djaq bent down next to her and shook her head and Erin took that to mean now was not the best time to ask Robin what in the good Lord's name was going on.

Robin was still thrashing about but after Little John hissed that he was not above knocking him out and tying him to a tree he managed to stop. They dropped him to the floor with such a noise that Erin was sure that Gisbourne who had stopped for a second had heard them. But then his other foot was on the ground and he was off the horse and things were going ahead as usual.

"What the hell does she think she's doing?" Much hissed looking utterly annoyed. Erin wondered if this was something that Marian did on a day-to-day timescale.

"She's thinking we need a spy in the castle and she's the best person to go" Djaq said grimly.

"Wait did she tell—?"

"No she didn't tell me but I know how she's thinking. She's thinking she has to be useful somehow and if she's not well enough to be the Nightwatchman she's going to do the only thing she knows how to do—get information to you"

"Marian" Robin hissed. The look in his eye was so strong, such a cross of emotions, frustration, anger, panic, and love, so much love, that Erin found she had to look away least she start crying herself.

Allan dropped down next to her and she thought that if it was him in the situation she wouldn't be calm, she would be the same as Robin. Because it was Allan, and he was…

Erin thought about it staring at a leaf on a bush as conversations were going on around her and as she thought about it she came to a conclusion that she had not so much been running away from but that she had certainly not been running towards.

In the space of the two weeks that she had been here he had not just become another man in the forest that she could trust (as the rest of them had) he had become something else. At first she had thought (when she had allowed herself to think on such things) that it was because he had been there when she had finally gotten the rescue operation that she had promised underway. She had thought that it was because he had been the steady almost rock in the forest that she could cling to. Even when they had been hiding in that little hole in the ground she had not been as terrified as she had thought she would be.

It was she thought something other than familiar attachment, something other than a friend trusting a friend. She wanted him. She wanted him in a way that was so unnatural that she could almost laugh at how strange it was. Wanting in this way, desiring in this way was strange to her but it didn't change the fact that she now knew what it was that she was feeling.

She wanted him, she desired him.

She loved him.

Erin was unsure of what the truth around that emotion was. She had never been on the receiving end of love nor had she seen it in action quite so frequently as she had since arriving at this camp. There was the love that was simply shared between the men themselves, they were friends, they were comrades and they trusted each other. They had been hardened by disappointments and hard living and a lack of trust and yet they seemed to enjoy the life that they had or at least were making do better than most.

There was the all-encompassing, passionate, defiant love that existed between Robin and Marian that she had seen first hand. The way he adored her, the way she adored him and the way they squabbled in the contradictory nature of people who had been friends before they had fallen in love was as sweet as it was strange. Even Djaq and Will who were still dancing around things gave the appearance of a relationship that was real and worth protecting.

Erin had never had that. She supposed once upon a very long time ago she'd had parents but she couldn't honestly remember them and she didn't know how she had ended up in the custody of that one-eyed general or his…associates…It didn't bode well either way.

And now here she was. Admitting to herself something that she could never admit to anyone else. It was like when she had killed that monster she had freed a bit of herself that was trapped within buried deep down so to keep the monsters away from it. That bit of her that screamed out that she was a woman, a passionate, strong, independent woman and that she did not deserve this, that she did not ask for this. Of course the girl that was so terrified she couldn't see sunlight without flinching had worn that woman down and Erin had done what she'd had to do to survive. She'd never had the choice to do anything other.

And now she did.

She had a choice.

And she wanted to choose Allan, she wanted to choose to love Allan and be with him but she even as she knew that she wanted that she knew she couldn't.

In the eyes of the Church she was thrice-damned. She was a murderer with a soul fit for eternal damnation, she was a woman and she had been spoilt. Marian would say something different but this was 1192 and woman like Erin did not get respectable happy ever afters. Once soiled by men they were soiled forever. And Erin had been…she was not even sure if her body would recover from all the internal damage. When this was over and they—even now it was 'they'—saved the King, and everyone was given a pardon Allan would become a rather popular man, he was achingly kind, stunningly good looking and had a mouth on him that could make anyone laugh. Why when he would have girls falling at his feet would he want to spend time on her?

Besides, Erin had learnt long ago that she did not get nice things.

So here she was.

The situation was so bleak and so morbid that she found tears came to her eyes and she watched as the green and brown blur that was Marian carried on talking to the dark blur that she assumed was Guy of Gisbourne. It took her a second to realise that Robin who was gripping his bow with a rather steely look that promised business was hissing under his breath.

"Something's wrong." He said as she forced her attention away from her own dreadfully dark thoughts and back towards the situation enfolding in front of her.

"She's doing alright all things considering. And she did hit him in the face as she ran away from the alter Robin. Not even Gisbourne is going to be overly receptive to that" Will said quietly.

"Yes but it's Gisbourne. Even if she did humiliate him she's been missing for two weeks. If he didn't know as she so believes then surely he would have done something by now"

And then in one swift stroke it came to Erin. What she could do to be useful to these men who had given her so much and had gotten nothing out of the bargain.

Marian was telling no doubt a terrible sob story of kidnap (though who she was blaming Erin didn't know) but she would need someone to collaborate these claims and right now…

It was brave, it was stupid and she knew that it was putting herself pack into the lion's den but Erin wanted too, no she needed to help. She had to do something.

And with that she stood up.

As one the Outlaw's all turned to look at her. There was a hybrid of emotions reflected in their eyes but Erin looked for the brown that was Djaq's and steadfastly ignored the bright blue that was looking at her with utter confusion.

Djaq caught her eye and then sighed as if she understood what she was thinking. It was clear the other woman wasn't happy, clear that she would rather do this than Erin herself but considering Djaq was well known she was accepting the hand she was dealt. Besides Erin thought that Djaq would have her hands full dealing with what had happened today. Something told her the Outlaws would not be pleased.

"Erin" Allan hissed standing up even as Much groaned under his breath at the risk of being seen. "What are you doing?"

She stared at him and felt the rise of emotion in her. There was something she wanted to do, something she had never done before. The one thing that she had that she could choose who to give it to.

She reached out and snagged an arm around his waist and then her heart beating out of her chest she reached forwards and kissed him.

It was a soft kiss though she supposed that she had no experience when it came to kissing but his mouth when it came down on hers really was as soft as a feather. She felt the softness of his stubble press against her cheek and then just as she was about to pull away his hand came around her waist and he responded their mouths mashing together in a way that made Erin's heart beat a little bit faster and with an emotion that was most certainly not fear.

She felt his tongue probe a little at her mouth and she opened trusting her instinct and letting him slip his tongue in. It was strange but not unpleasant and Erin thought wildly that given the opportunity she might like to stay there for a while exploring that feeling.

"Oh Good Lord can the two of you pull yourselves together before we get seen!"

Leave it to Much to snap her back to reality and ruin the rather lovely moment.

She pulled back, Allan's hands dropping down to his sides and took in one look of those blue eyes and the soft smile and hating herself for what was going to come next. She ran her hands under his chin feeling the stubble again and then pressed her mouth against his ear so only he could hear this.

"I'm sorry"

And then she was gone, out of his warm embrace and down the path towards Marian and she did not look back.

Once.

Marian had been caught between trying to appeal to Guy's instincts (there was only so much you could say to the man you had punched and humiliated in front of half of the local nobility after all) to be charitable when she heard it.

In truth it had not been going well. Guy had dismounted looking like he had seen a ghost and she had put on her most pitiful appearance bursting into tears the second she had seen him and dropping to the ground claiming she had just escaped from being captured. Guy had watched her for a long time and Marian had found herself wondering if Robin had actually been right this entire time in which case the game was up because he knew that she had in fact escaped two weeks ago.

"Guy" she had cried looking at him with genuine horror she was sure rippling across her face.

"Please tell me you didn't—they killed my father Guy!"

At that whatever stupor he had been in seemed to loosen it's hold on him.

And then there had been crashing through the bushes.

If it was Robin, Marian was going to kill him. Never mind the guards, the new Lord of Locksley and the Sherriff of Nottingham she was going to kill him herself with her two bare hands.

But it wasn't Robin.

It was Erin.

She had crashed down falling on her bad knee and looking so utterly terrified that Marian couldn't help but know that it was genuine. She was looking around at her surroundings as if she couldn't believe where she was.

"I think we lost them Marian" she said in a shaking kind of voice and Marian was about to shoot her a 'What the Hell' look when Guy snapped an order.

"Where? Who? Marian what the—"

"Back there my Lord" Erin pointed in a completely different direction to where the Outlaws were hidden (Thank God)

"And I didn't get a chance to see them they were all in black. I think they might have been wearing armour"

Marian turned to watch Guy take that news in. He nodded but immediately began barking out orders and that more than anything else that had happened told Marian all she needed to know about what had happened over the last two weeks.

Guy of Gisbourne had not known about the Black Knights.

Filing that away as something she would deal with later she turned back to Guy who was looking at Erin with an unreadable expression. Marian considered the possibility that Guy might have seen her before but then again she realised with a horrible swoop in her stomach, Erin was blonde, beautiful and battered and any man with a saving complex such as Guy, any man who liked to be the one that was thought of and spoken to in a revered manner would have to be looking at Erin in a completely different way.

Erin shot Marian a look that clearly screamed for her to do something. Marian took up the hint.

"Guy this is Erin—she was with me in the—I think it might have been an underground hut or something either way they disappeared and they didn't come back and…and I promised her that you would protect us both. Guy please allow me to come back to the castle and take Erin with me as my maid, give us both the protect we so desperately need!"

To anyone else it might have been laying it on a bit thick, certainly Robin would have seen through it in a heartbeat but to Guy it was music to his ears. She knew he could see how it would look, to have her in his debt, to rescue her, to prove to her that she needed a man to protect her. And to stumble across another beautiful woman needing assistance was sugar on top of the porridge at the morning meal.

"Of course Marian" he said and Marian allowed herself to shed tears for real though why she was not sure.

"Of course, let me—" he assisted her onto a horse and then held out a hand for Erin with a smile that was as genuine as Guy could be. Erin took it wincing and allowed herself to be helped onto the saddle behind Marian. She was trembling she realised but before Marian could say anything Guy took the bridle and they were off down the road, away from the forest, away from the camp.

Away from Robin.

And there you go. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to give you the next chapter and the final chapter as soon as I have written it.

Next Chapter-The Final Chapter-Erin and Marian take stock of the direction their lives have now taken in. Robin and Allan come to common ground. Will and Djaq share a moment and there are several dangers on the horizon. The End of the First Part of a Three Part Trilogy.