Curtis stared blankly at her for what seemed like a long time, but Rosa didn't interrupt whatever thoughts were churning in his head. She was so tired, and now that her headache was settling, nothing sounded more appealing than crawling into a warm bed for an eternity.
"What makes you think that?" He finally asked, somewhat hesitantly.
Rosa moved her shoulders in a sort of half shrug. "It's been on my mind for a while – whether something like this was possible. I didn't think anything was wrong until a week or so ago. I thought maybe I was just tired . . ."
Her stomach rolled again, and she immediately shifted away from Curtis to avoid getting him. There was nothing left inside her stomach though, so she dry heaved until the feeling subsided and she collapsed back against the wall.
"You need more water?"
"No." Rosa groaned, burying her face in her hands. Her fingers were trembling again. "Listen to me. Something is happening to me, Curtis. It sounds completely insane, but . . . I have thoughts that aren't mine. And I feel emotions that don't make any sense! Like just now, when I was talking to N . . . all I could think about is how comfortable and happy and complete he makes me feel. Like I'd known him my entire life, and we'd finally connected again. It was there yesterday too. I'd never seen him before, but I knew him!"
She'd thought he was beautiful. How was that possible if Touko wasn't pouring opinions into her head?
Rosa explained what N had told her about Touko in the lobby, leaving out his passive aggressive life lesson. Curtis seemed unsurprised until she pieced in her own thoughts from the conversation. "N didn't outright say it, but it was implied – he's searching for her. Probably has been since the day she disappeared. It's pretty obvious he's in love with her. I doubt he realizes that's what he's feeling, but if it's anything close to the emotions I've been feeling . . ."
Curtis rubbed his thumb and forefinger together absently, lost in thought. "So you think Touko is somehow responding to N's presence?"
"Maybe? I don't know, I get the feeling it's more than that. It's like she's . . . fighting against me. Like I'm a prison cell, and she's desperately trying to escape. Maybe seeing N just gave her a little motivation."
"That would explain the bloody nose, and your sudden case of the flu." He shook his head, a look of wonder dancing between the irises. "Two people trapped inside one body. A previous incarnation attacking its current host. Can that happen?"
Rosa scoffed. "None of this should be happening. How would I know what's possible? Coming to terms with being Arceus's garbage guardian was hard enough, and now I gotta deal with this? It's trash!"
She swore colorfully and rubbed her eyes, suddenly wondering how easy it would be to pull herself to her feet. The sour scent of bile was starting to make her eyes water, and she knew her clothes didn't smell any better. Curtis was too polite to complain, but he'd probably be grateful to leave the nightmarish bathroom behind as well.
"It's not like there's anyone we can ask about this stuff, anyway." She muttered. "I could be way off, I don't know. I'm just guessing."
"Well . . ."
His voice made her look up. A mask of hesitation pulled Curtis's mouth into a frown, which made Rosa frown in turn. "What is it?"
Tugging at the sleeve of his jacket uncomfortably, Curtis shifted his gaze to the water bottle near her foot. "I might know someone who can tell us what's going on. But they aren't exactly in your good graces, and I can't guarantee you'll want to talk to them."
"Are you serious? Who?"
"They might not be willing to talk to us either, especially me-"
"Curtis. Who is it?"
...
"So, the wayward musician returns. And he's brought his charge with him, though it seems the nature of the relationship has changed since the last time I saw you both. Awkward, but still. It's nice to see my old friends."
The stiff curve of Colress's ring-shaped hair was apparent despite the poor-quality image displayed on the pokesystem's call screen. He wore his usual lab coat, which stood out against the pitch black background. Wherever he was calling from, he obviously wanted it to remain secret.
At his remark, Curtis glowered in disgust and moved out of the camera's view. If there had been any fondness between the two during the time they'd worked together, it was gone now. Lying and manipulating did that to friendships.
Colress flashed a white-toothed smile, unbothered by Curtis's hostility. "And my dear Rosa. It's been so long since I've seen you. I'd wished you strength and wellness after our meeting on the Plasma frigate, but the consequences of your actions appear to be catching up with you. Again." He tilted his head. "What can I do to help you this time?"
Running her fingers through her freshly washed hair, Rosa gathered her thoughts. She'd only had the time it took for Curtis to call Colress and set up a meeting to decide how to phrase her questions, and a lot of that she'd spent trying to keep her anger at the scientist in check. Colress would explain why he'd left Hugh on the frigate, but there were other things she needed to know first.
At last she said, "I need to know what you know about me."
He straightened his glasses impassively, and Rosa's heart flip-flopped. "That's a broad question for the specific answer you're looking for. Care to elaborate a little?"
No. What she wanted was toscream at Colress to butt out of her life.
Instead she told him. About everything. The headaches, the nausea, the intrusive thoughts and emotions. Her suspicions about Touko, and the girl's overwhelming connection to N. Her fears too. There were a lot of those. "You know more about the Regeneration Effect than anyone else. I know you do. Curtis has seen your research. Please. If there's anything you can tell me, I would sure appreciate it."
Colress's golden eyes sharpened into tight lines. "The truth isn't always as pretty as the bliss of ignorance. Are you sure you want to know?"
"I know I don't. I'd rather just send Ghetsis to jail and get on with my life. But I don't think I have a choice anymore."
"No. It sounds like you don't."
He sighed and leaned back in his chair, defeated. "It's true. Studying the Regeneration Effect has been, in a lot of ways, the purpose of my life. I discovered the connections between trainers as a graduate student while studying Arceus for my Master's thesis. There was little to be found in the information database I had access too, so I spent several years traveling abroad.
"Guardians Sapphire and Lucas turned out to be the key. They passed long ago, but their regions know them. Notes on their lives allowed me to identify the characteristics and traits I'd likely find in the next guardian. Stubbornness. Determination. Protegees when it comes to befriending and raising Pokemon. Identifying Touko was comparable to finding a slightly longer needle in an ocean of needles. Finding you was my greatest accomplishment."
Rosa opened her mouth, then closed it again. How long had he been following her around? Since her journey started? Before that?
"How could you be so sure I was the one?"
"I couldn't until I met you. For too long it was a toss between you and Hugh, but talking to you at the Pokemon center settled any doubts I had. Believe me, Rosa. You fit the bill."
Wonderful. Perfect. "So you hunted me down to what? Research me like some lab experiment?"
"I needed to find you before Ghetsis did. He'd already murdered one guardian. How could I allow him to destroy another? If you had left Team Plasma alone, he'd have never suspected anything. Touko was gone, that was supposed to be the end of it. Thankfully I'd already found you by the time he started ransacking labs for trainer records. Between Curtis and I watching over you, I thought you'd be safe." Colress smiled, but somehow he still looked cold. "But you found a way to get yourself in trouble anyway."
"Plasma got me in trouble." Rosa bristled. "That's not my fault-"
"Relax, Rosa. It's not an insult. You are perfect the way you are. No one knows that better than I."
A grimace from both Rosa and Curtis. She bunched her fists and glared at the floor, irritated, but didn't reply.
Colress took her silence as an invitation to continue. "Your suspicions concerning Miss Touko are correct, but I'm afraid this is where the science gets a bit . . . messy. I realized she presided inside you the day we met, but she was dormant at the time. Not quite asleep, but too far from consciousness to be of concern. However, I suspect the trauma of your time on the Plasma Frigate woke her up. The shock treatments in particular may have had something to do with it."
"But that was months ago. It's only been the last few weeks that I've-"
"Reflect back on your time after the frigate. Did you experience anything off with yourself? Anything out of the ordinary?"
"Not really." Well. "I was a bit moody, I guess. But only because I was worried about Hugh." Which was your fault.
"Maybe that was the reason. Or maybe not. The details don't matter, because Touko's very much awake now. And she's not going anywhere."
Rosa tucked her damp hair behind her ears, feeling queasy again. It was more nerves now, though. She'd been carrying another person along with her all this time without realizing it. Did that mean Touko was truly dead? Could they be separated, or were they trapped like this? And something else bothered her, too.
"Why just Touko? Why haven't I felt Red, or Sapphire, or any of the others?"
Colress pushed his glasses further onto the arch of his nose. They flashed under the dim lights of his camera. "It's simple, really. Touko died before she was supposed to. Arceus's guardians work on very specific schedules, and her business in this world was not finished. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but despite her best efforts, Team Plasma is still running around."
Was that supposed to be funny? Because Rosa wasn't laughing. Colress certainly didn't look amused.
"One might think Arceus would protect his servants from harm, but that is not the case. Touko was as human as I am, and as clueless to her role as you once were. Her murder left Unova defenseless, and Arceus scrambling to find a new hero to replace her. Or in this case," He tilted his head again, examining Rosa as one might view a slide under a microscope, "Make one."
His words didn't quite register, and Rosa blinked blankly at him. A few paces away, Curtis's expression darkened.
"Excuse me?"
"Is there a problem, Rosa?"
"You said make one. What does that mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. You are a product of Arceus's creation, as all guardians are. The difference is you were . . . hurried a bit."
She narrowed her gaze. "Explain."
"Guardians are human, but as I said before, they're still set apart from others. Each is crafted with specific character traits best suited to defend their region during that time period. You're like handmade toy soldiers – some are silver knights with lances, while others are green figurines with rifles. Who you are depends on what is needed. Or, to put it more simply: guardians don't grow on trees. When Touko died, Arceus couldn't snatch the nearest human and make them his champion. It doesn't work that way.
"So, Arceus made you. Tailored in Touko's near exact likeness, as she is what was needed for Unova, you were the hurried copy to replace her. Crafted to be sixteen, there was no place for you in the world, so Arceus made one. He planted memories inside your head to give you a past. Your mother was given memories of a daughter so she would care for you. Hugh was gifted memories of a childhood friend so you would have companionship. And the rest – your knowledge of Pokémon, Unova's history, and the like – were taken from Touko. Her consciousness was sealed inside you to give you humanity, because there simply wasn't time to create enough of your own.
"In essence, your spirit is a weaker, lesser version of Touko's. And it's so tightly entwined with hers, it would be impossible to separate the two. I don't know what would happen if you did – it's possible you aren't enough of a person to survive without her. Or maybe you'd simply degrade to a mindless doll. It's hard to say for sure - technically, you're just a copy."
Just a copy. Those words hung in the air awhile. Rosa stood straight and still, detached in face of the emotions tumbling through her head and leaking into the crevices. Her eyes stayed fixated on Colress, but she no longer saw him. Just the jagged phrase on soft skin. A copy.
"You're lying." She whispered.
"Am I? You asked for the truth, and I gave it. I can assure you," Colress adjusted his glasses again, "I would never lie to you."
He had in the past. To her face, back on the Plasma frigate. So why didn't she feel reassured? Was it the numbness spreading through her chest? Or maybe Touko listening in the background, echoing Rosa's despair with her own. Was she present enough for that? To cry out the pain of knowing she was neither dead nor alive?
That's what Rosa wanted. To cry.
Curtis stepped in, apparently unable to keep his thoughts to himself anymore. "How do you know all this?" He demanded.
Colress sniffed. "Research." His tone implied of course. "More than a decade of it coupled with the notes you sent me. I could write a biography on Touko, but that is neither here nor there. It was our one on one time that set the pieces together."
"Is that why I can't remember what happened to my dad?"
Rosa's voice was small, but it caused the two men to pause. Finally, Colress shook his head. "You never had a father. Any snippets you have of one are implants. I'm sorry if that hurts you."
Her knees were shaking, and Rosa had to lean against the television. One time, when she was seven years old, a mean boy at school had cut off one of her pigtails because she'd told him she wasn't going on a Pokémon journey. Skipping your journey wasn't normal, so he'd called her a freak and held her down until half her head was bobbed. Afterwards, she'd hid in a corner on the playground and sobbed into her knees until Hugh found her.
"You're only kind of freaky, Rosa, even with your hair like that. And it doesn't matter, 'cause I love you anyway!"
You were wrong, Hugh. She wasn't kind of freaky.
She was freaky.
Because even the memory was a lie. Hugh had never said those words to her. She'd never been seven years old. He'd never held her and stroked her hair as she cried into his chest.
Her life was a lie. She was a lie.
Rosa hadn't realized Curtis had taken her hand until his anxious fingers were wrapped so tightly around hers, they were stinging uncomfortably. She flexed, and he loosened them with a soft, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She whispered, pulling her hand away. "I'm okay." His apology was too much to hear. She couldn't bear it. "So what now, Colress? Touko's awake, so what?"
Colress cleared his throat. "Perhaps awake is too strong a word. She's more . . . stirring. Slowly gaining consciousness, pulling herself to the surface. Her thoughts and emotions are spilling into yours, but so far, the damage has been minor. It won't remain that way, however. Your body is fragile, and won't be able to withstand the power struggle between the two of you if she awakens fully. The side effects you're experiencing will only continue to get worse as time goes on."
A long breath, in and out. It didn't fill Rosa's lungs, so she tried again, and again, her chest rising and falling until there wasn't air at all. He had to be lying. What he was saying wasn't possible. Her heart thudded in her chest, growing more frantic every second she stood staring at Colress's tight, golden eyes. Was there something choking her? Her vision was blurring. If she could just breathe. Why couldn't she breathe? "So what you're saying is . . . I'm . . ."
"I would need to run a few tests to be sure, but I'm almost certain having two consciousnesses fight over the same body is shredding your brain. So, yes. You're dying."
Her hand went to her forehead, and she stumbled, only avoiding falling to the ground because Curtis caught her upper elbow. There wasn't enough air. She was dying. Her lungs were collapsing into themselves from lack of oxygen.
"Whoa, hey!" Curtis dropped her hand and maneuvered to where their eyes could meet. His face was pale and ghastly like hers, but his voice was firm. "Look at me. Breathe. You're okay."
She wasn't. The world was tilting sideways. Her heart was beating too fast. It was going to explode, couldn't he hear it?
"She's panicking. Try four second inhalations, Curtis." Colress said. "Do them with her."
Curtis didn't look at him. "Rosa, it's okay. It's just your fight or flight response trying to help you. Breathe. Four seconds in, four seconds out. Come on."
She obeyed, gasping on the inhale as he stood beside her and slowly lifted four fingers. Then the painful release, four more seconds of bitter breath leaving her lungs. Then again, and again, the two of them dragging air in and out until her heart dropped a gear, and then another. A few minutes more and the dizziness faded. The world reoriented itself. Rosa was able to look up.
"Do you need to leave for a few minutes?" Curtis asked.
Rosa shook her head. "It's fine. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sorry, Rosa. I didn't mean-"
"Seriously Colress." Curtis glared at the screen. "Shut up."
"But you need to know -"
She looked up, hardly daring to wonder what else he could have to say. It couldn't get much worse.
"Touko's waking is inevitable, but you can slow it down. Avoid any memories potent to her, and do not spend time with N. What you feel when he walks in a room is what Touko feels a hundred-fold. She loves that boy. You have to keep that love in check, or you will die. Do you understand me?"
"Yes."
"Good. And Rosa . . ."
He straightened his back and adjusted his lab coat, suddenly all business. "Check the seaside cave when the dome descends below the skyline. You won't have much time after that. I'll see you soon."
The call disconnected, leaving Rosa and Curtis to stare at the empty screen. They stood staring at it for a long time, too overwhelmed by what they'd just learned to move or say anything.
They wouldn't have the rest of the night to come to terms, though.
Because before the sun could rise and set the sea to crystal fire, they came.