A/N: We are one week out from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and y'all when i say that show is gonna fucking kill me it's gonna fucking kill me omg. SIDE NOTE pls leave me comments and reviews! I'm on my usual soap box of begging for that sweet serotonin like the addict I am. Hit me with some words I'm foaming at the mouth rn.
Chapter #04:
We're All Mad Here
"Some people are a human version of a migraine." –Via
I thought for sure there could be nothing more awkward than riding to the city alone with Steve, but then I started my car and the familiar chords of our song blasted through my speakers. It had been the last song I was pathetically listening to earlier that day when a wave of me missing him had reached a crescendo. The amount of times I had listened to 'Tennessee Whiskey' over the last month and a half was honestly too embarrassing of a number to even mentally think of.
"The weather's gotten real nice." Steve said casually as we drove through the city. It reminded me of the very first time we hung out one on one. Except back then he had been the one driving and I had been the one offering awkward comments on the weather. We had finally come full circle. "Finally warm again."
Internally, I weighed the pros and cons of opening my driver's side door and throwing myself out onto the road while my car moved at 35 miles per hour. Steve would be fine even if the Jeep drove right into a damn building. The guilt of potentially harming a civilian was too high for my liking though. Guess I'd just suffer.
"Mhmm." I agreed about the warm weather. He wasn't wrong.
"Tony wasn't very clear. Who are we going to see?"
"Dr. Stephen Strange. He's the neurosurgeon that's refusing to do Bucky's surgery." I replied, keeping my eyes on the road, "But it's for an asshole reason so I wanna talk to him about it."
I was vaguely aware of who Stephen Strange was. Back in the prehistoric, olden days when I was a normal girl just following that pre-med track, I shadowed a few people at New York Hospital. It was the hospital associated with Colombia University so one of my professors had gotten me a connection there. As a pre-med student who hadn't even graduated college yet, I fell somewhere below toxic waste trashcan on the hierarchy of the hospital, but it had been an interesting year. I had never met Dr. Stephen Strange personally, but he had a reputation and his name had been tossed around a lot. Usually with various, colorful curse words.
"You really think you can convince him to do it?"
"I've been known to annoy a person or two into doing what I want."
"I think you're mixing up the words charm and annoy."
The compliment was said so casually, but I felt myself stiffen in my seat. Why couldn't he see that distance was the healthiest thing for him? Bucky had said it best. The guy just didn't know when to give it up. Steve didn't know when to stop fighting, but I could hardly hold that against him. I had the same problem.
It didn't take much longer to get to New York Hospital's parking deck, and the remainder of the ride was quiet. I kept my pace form the car to the hospital quick, to try and put some space between us, but my short stride was no match for his long legs. Steve didn't even break a sweat trying to keep up with me. He was a tall statue of determination wearing an off white henley, the brown leather jacket that made him look god-like, jeans, and a kind, understanding smile that made me want to lunge for a scalpel and gut myself with. This would be a million times easier if he'd be angry at me, but no, instead he had to be a motherfucking sweetheart. Damn it.
When I got to the front desk we were greeted by a look of shock and awe. Well, Steve was greeted by a look of shock and awe. I was mostly ignored. I cleared my throat and began to speak, "Hi, we're here on behalf of Tony Stark. We're looking for Claire Temple."
Steve being here was honestly working in my favor because the receptionist numbly just lifted the phone to call someone, eyes not leaving from Steve's face, with zero questions asked. A few seconds passed before she hung up the phone.
"She, uh, is busy at the moment."
"Can you point us in the direction of the ED?" I asked with a smile that once again was not even noticed. Steve pasted on a matching smile and I was 75% positive that this lady was gonna need a doctor to restart her heart. She shakily lifted a finger to point in a direction. Steve leaned forward to thank her and I rolled my eyes. We began the trek to the ED, dodging people in the hallways, and I couldn't help but speak, "You're too handsome for your own good, you know? That smile is a danger to society and should be responsibly wielded."
"Is my smile a danger to you?" Steve joked. When I glanced over at him though, he was shooting me a smug, charming smirk. It was nice. It felt like before. That wasn't allowed. Despite, feeling the heat on my cheeks I turned and walked a little faster. I was a couple steps away from sprinting. Behind me, I heard Steve sigh, "Aj, come on—"
"ED is close." I interrupted and focused on the task at hand.
We were super not allowed back here like this, but it was amazing what you could do when you tossed around Tony Stark's name and had Captain America tailing you like a lost puppy dog. Nobody stopped or questioned our presence. I could've literally shot someone in the hallway and no passerby would dare speak a word to us. This lack of authoritative attention was exactly why we was able to walk around the ED looking for my old friend.
I spotted her coming out of a room and heading to the nurse's station. Funnily enough, she looked just like she did last time I saw her five-ish years ago. Dark hair messily brushing her shoulders with dark bags under her dark eyes, because the woman didn't know how to take a day off, and sharp, well-defined features.
"Claire!" I called out and began to walk over. She turned, spotted me, and her eyes momentarily widened. Claire Temple was an Emergency Department Nurse who was an absolute miracle worker. During my time here, I ended up shadowing her more than the physician they sent me to because she was willing to show me the ropes and actually teach me. She was a tough woman, took no shit, and she knew medicine better than most.
She turned in her baggy, light blue scrubs and began to storm toward me. I opened my mouth to greet her again, but she immediately grabbed me by my ear, to the bewilderment of Steve, and dragged me back behind the nurse's station while I whined.
"Hey, that hurts—"
"Why did I see you on the news getting kidnapped, and then months later I hear you're dying?" Claire scoffed. "Last I saw you, you were accepted into medical school and had a future and then five years later instead of seeing you walking around here as a resident I see you on the news with the Avengers? The last news report I listened to said you were a criminal!"
I tried to pull out of her grasp, "That's more or less true, but Captain America standing behind me has to prove that I made a few right decisions since we last talked."
"What hospital did you go to?" Claire snapped. I knew she was talking about my most recent injury since it had been the one all over the news. Apparently, the Avengers hanging around the hospital for a week had raised a few red flags for the paparazzi to notice.
"Mount Sinai in the Upper West Side." I replied and she scoffed. "In my defense, that's Tony Stark's go-to hospital for some reason and since I was unconscious, and dying, I didn't have much choice." Claire let go of my ear to slap me on the back of my head. "Ow!"
Claire crossed her arms, "Status?"
I glanced back at Steve who was staring at me in mild confusion before turning back to her. I untucked my camisole out of my dress pants and lifted it enough to show her the scar. Claire's eyes widened and I nodded to confirm her thoughts, "Emergency Splenectomy. No big deal. In and out."
"You died three times before they got you stable, and you had to be in a medically induced coma for days." Steve argued from over my shoulder.
Claire shot me a glare as I dropped my shirt and shrugged, "Devil in the details?"
"You're an idiot."
"I never argued otherwise." I replied back then gave her a wide grin, "How have you been Claire? You look tired. When was your last day off?"
Claire snorted, "About 5 years ago actually." I snickered at her joke and she followed it up with a question of her own. "What are you doing here? Are you the reason the front desk called asking for me?"
"Yeah, I need a favor." I replied sheepishly. My eyes widened, "Oh! Hey, this is Steve Rogers." Steve stepped forward when I introduced him and held out a friendly hand that Claire took. "This is Claire Temple. Nurse extraordinaire. She put up with me during undergrad."
"Nice to meet you, ma'am." Steve nodded.
Claire gave him a skeptical look, "Aren't you supposed to be on your death bed with a broken arm or something?" At her words we both froze. Shit. I totally forgot about that and based on the look Steve wore he did too. We opened our mouths at the same time to try and explain it, but both of us ineloquently just stumbled over our words like a train wreck. Claire rolled her eyes and stepped to the side to rifle through a drawer. She came back with a sling and held it out to him. "I don't know what you Avengers are up to, but here. A sling for your 'decimated' shoulder."
"Er, thanks." Steve said sheepishly and pulled it on. That'd help anyone who spotted from here on out, but if anyone saw us before this moment we were in trouble. If we got called on that, PR was seriously gonna have my ass.
"As per usual, you're my life saver, Claire." I chuckled and a thought occurred to me. It had been so long since I spoke to Claire. A part of me expected the outcome of this to be her not working tonight or her not remembering who I was at all. I crossed my own arms, "I'm kind of surprised you actually remember me. It has been a hot minute."
Claire rolled her eyes, "Back to this favor?"
"I need a meeting with Dr. Strange." I said with a grimace.
She furrowed her brows in confusion, "Why?"
"Long story short, I need a neurosurgeon for my friend, and I will accept nothing but the absolute best." I held one hand out at her while I spoke. "He already said no but—"
"If he already said no then what is there left to talk about?"
"He said no to Tony Stark, not to me."
Claire blinked once then quickly shook her head, "Right because there's no way Stephen Strange could resist your charm."
Steve glanced over at me with a small smile, and I rubbed the back of my neck. Claire gave me a firm look and I shrugged, "Lemme shoot my shot, Temple."
"I'm an ED nurse. Stephen Strange wouldn't look my way if I were literally on fire." Claire replied dryly. I clasped my hands together and shot her the most pleading look I could manage. She sighed, "Alright fine, I know someone who can get you an audience with the OR Emperor. But you owe me lunch so we can talk about why you threw your entire life away to join an illegal fighting ring, you dumbass."
I scrunched my nose up and mumbled, "Still not crazy about the world knowing so much about me and my poor life decisions." Claire pointed at me before turning and leaving to find whoever it was that could help me. I crossed my arms and glanced back over at Steve finally. He was already staring at me with that same small smile. "I shadowed Claire in undergrad back when I was trying to get into medical school."
"You don't talk about that period of your life very much." Steve said.
"There isn't much worth talking about." I mumbled and glanced down at my feet. The four years I spent in college weren't bad per say they were just… stagnant. Nothing of note really happened. It was just four years of me drifting from day to day, mentally and emotionally checked out. I studied and learned and slept and ate and worked out, but, beyond that, I did nothing. There were people I knew, like Claire, that I spoke to and technically treated as a friend, but I never put any kind of effort into the relationship outside of our dedicated time. I had been a ghost.
Steve cleared his throat, "I'm sure there's gotta be something worth talking about. You and Claire seem close. Five years passed and the moment you showed back up she recognized you and was happy to help."
"That's because Claire is a superhero in scrubs." I argued. "She's the kind of person who'd do anything to help someone in trouble."
There was another awkward beat of silence where I refused to meet his eyes. At the very least, I owed him a more thorough explanation on why distance was good for him, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it and there was no good reason why. I was just scared. Weak. It made me hate myself more than I usually did on a regular basis which is wild since I didn't think my self-confidence could get any lower. I was below sea level at this point.
"Aj", Claire came back, and I mentally thanked every deity watching my shit show of a life from the heavens. Beside her was another woman who wore a long white coat over her dark blue scrubs. She had light brown hair and hazel green eyes. The doctor had a pretty smile. "This is Dr. Christine Palmer. She's Dr. Strange's ex-girlfriend."
Dr. Palmer chuckled, "I wish that wasn't the thing I was most famous for, but here we are."
"It's nice to meet you. Like Claire said, I'm Aj and this is Steve." I motioned to the man standing beside me.
"Yeah, I know. Unlike me, you guys are famous for interesting reasons." Dr. Palmer replied. "Claire says you need to talk to Stephen?"
I nodded, hands clasped together nervously, "Please. I want to convince him to work on my friend's case. He said no to Tony Stark, but I'm not willing to leave it at that." She twisted her lips sheepishly then motioned for me to follow her. I took a step, Steve moving to follow, but I turned to stop him, "I'll be right back. How about you stay here, yeah?"
"Uh…"
Before he could finish his statement, I whipped around and hurried after Dr. Palmer. The two of us walked out of the Emergency Room and she glanced at me once. It looked like she wanted to question what had just happened, but she didn't ask me about it and for that I was grateful.
"Listen, Stephen is a good guy. I know not a lot of people think that because he can be… a lot." Dr. Palmer began. "But deep down he means well. When it comes to surgery though, he's picky with what he works on. He's absolutely brilliant but he puts a lot of focus on his reputation. Just...maybe you shouldn't get your hopes up."
"I just want an opportunity to plead my case."
Dr. Palmer gave me a smile, "That I can get you. He's in surgery still, emergency case I sent his way, but he should be done relatively soon." She had led me down a few halls and up an elevator until we got to the surgery wing of the hospital. Dr. Palmer motioned for me to have a seat on a bench. "He has to walk right by here in order to leave."
"Thank you so much, Dr. Palmer." I said. "This means a lot to me."
"Of course. I hope he sees it your way." She chuckled and gave me a small wave before heading back to the ED. I sunk down onto the bench and leaned my head against the wall behind me. There really wasn't a plan in my head for this just a loose structure I planned on following. Beyond all that though, at least I wasn't standing in the ED awkwardly staring at my feet to avoid meeting Steve's gaze.
This was not going well. Steve didn't need to be a genius like Tony to know that this trip with Aj was an absolute disaster. Socially, at least. Everything he said came out awkward. He knew that he had no skills talking to women he was attracted to, but Aj had always been different. Talking to her had always been so easy. It was one of the reasons why he fell so hard, so fast. It was also why this awkwardness was ten times worse.
"Hey, Captain America," Claire Temple caught his attention, "I'm gonna need you to wait for Aj in the lounge. You're starting to distract people."
"Oh, sorry." He quickly followed after her. Claire led him through a door off to the side that opened into a small room. The room had a fridge, a few tables, and a wall of lockers. One of the walls had a bulletin board hanging up with various pictures of families and cards.
Claire pointed to a table, "Take a seat. Relax. You can have anything in the fridge that doesn't have a name on it and the coffee in the pot is probably only 24 hours old."
"Thanks." Steve chuckled. He held his hand out to stop her before she could leave, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're crazy busy—"
"This is a New York Emergency Room."
"But can I ask you a question?"
Claire crossed her arms and gave him a casual shrug, "Sure. What is it?"
Steve wasn't entirely sure how to phrase his thoughts. He rolled it around in his head a few more times before clearing his throat, "You knew Aj back when she was in college… that was the last time you spoke to her?" Claire nodded. "How… You haven't seen Aj in so long. A lot of people tend to get upset when they don't hear from someone they consider a friend after some time but…"
Claire chuckled and hung her head for a second, "How long have you known Aj?"
"Nearly 6 months." Steve replied quickly.
"Then I'm sure you know." Claire took a step forward with a smirk. "If someone I thought was a friend disappeared off the face of the earth never to speak to me again then yeah, I'd be a little pissed." She shook her head with another soft chuckle. "But Aj is…different. Back then she was distant, didn't open up to anyone, but anyone around her could feel her… dedication? Loyalty? She'd wage a war at the drop of a dime for anyone around her." Steve nodded. "Let's say 10 years had passed—15 years! I know, without a doubt, if I ever needed her, for literally anything, I could show up on her door unannounced to ask and she would do it without hesitation. How could I not offer her the same?"
Steve grinned at her words, "She said the same thing about you."
"Even I have my limits." Claire held her hands up in mock surrender. She shook her head, "Aj doesn't. It's actually kind of dangerous. I always worried about her. I've never seen someone with so little self-preservation."
Claire Temple wasn't wrong. It was common knowledge that Aj was reckless with her own life and health. He hadn't thought about it specifically, but his question was honestly a stupid one. Steve should've known. He felt the same way as Claire. Even now, with their relationship being so tense, a part of him knew that if he truly needed help with something she'd be there for him. Clint had told them that Aj once admitted that she'd do anything for the sister that abandoned her. Aj could stow away a huge source of all her trauma to help the person who did nothing but hurt her.
Claire spoke up and interrupted his thoughts, "She's happier. I can tell. Granted, whatever is going on between the two of you is really weird and awkward but she's happy." Steve smiled. "Did you two break up or something?"
"No." Steve said quickly then shook his head, "Wait, I mean, we weren't—we aren't dating. That's just the tabloids and rumors."
She raised an eyebrow at him while smirking then gave him a small wave, "Nice to meet you, Captain."
Steve watched her leave and slowly fell into the flimsy plastic chair beside one of the tables. He tugged at the uncomfortable sling. As much as he didn't want to wear it, he figured he shouldn't tempt fate any further than they had already.
Aj didn't have any self-preservation. He knew that. Steve also knew she was the least forgiving person when it came to her own sins. Aj would walk through fire for a stranger, but she could never look in the mirror and cut herself any sort of slack. Was that one of the issues here?
It didn't make sense that Aj would hate him forever. As much as he hated to say it, Steve could literally commit murder and the woman would find a way to forgive him for it. So, in this impasse they found themselves at… was it less her forgiving him and more her being unable to forgive herself? Because he loathed the idea of that. Steve had forgiven her ages ago. All he wanted was to make her laugh, to hold her, to have his friend back.
Steve's phone went off and he shifted to pull it out of his pocket. Natasha's picture flashed on the screen. Her and Clint had left for the Playground hours ago last he heard. He quickly answered it, "Hello?"
"How's it going with Aj?"
"Incredibly awkward." Steve admitted. "Do you need something?"
"If I didn't actually need something I would be insulted at your tone." Natasha replied slyly. Her tone shifted back into a more serious one. "Long story short, I'm looking at Rumlow right now."
Steve pushed himself out of his seat in a panic, "What!?"
"Don't panic."
"Nat."
"He got arrested in Greece and SHIELD picked him up. Whoever originally got their hands on him really messed him up." Natasha continued. "Clint's in the room with him right now asking questions."
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "Jesus. What do we know?"
"That he's still a complete asshole." Natasha replied with ease. Steve opened his mouth to tell her to be serious, but she cut him off before he could. "He's giving us nothing, but we just started. It'll be a long night for Clint."
Steve narrowed his eyes at the words, "You aren't staying?"
"I've been on mission all day today, Rogers. Clint can handle annoying a traitor into talking with Coulson and May alone. Do I have permission to come home and relax, Captain?"
"Of course. I'm sorry, Nat." He shook his head. The frustration of figuring things out with Aj were slipping into this conversation. Steve sighed, "Maybe I should head out there."
"Don't. Clint has this handled, I promise. Come tomorrow morning we'll have answers." Natasha said firmly. "You focus on the Aj situation." He began to protest, but she cut him off again. "Handle this shit tonight, Rogers, or I swear to God I'm going to lock both of you in the safe room."
Steve hummed an affirmative and Natasha said a quick good-bye. He ended the call and dropped back down into the chair. This was a good step in the right direction. They'd get some answers from Rumlow and get closer to putting an end to whatever Strucker had planned. Steve kind of wished he could be there to end this himself. Dealing with Rumlow would definitely be easier than trying to settle the situation he had on his hands. He just wished he had some sort of clue on what to do.
'The kids are still good. Aubrey said she'd be home in a couple weeks. How do you feel?'
'Glad to hear it. I'm fine like I said the last 12 times.'
Granny texted me one more time telling me she loved me, and I returned it in kind. She had wanted to come up to see me after I had been hospitalized, but she hadn't been able to find someone to leave the kids with. Granny nearly dragged the kids up with her, but Tony had convinced her that I was fine. The constant video calls after I finally woke up had also helped.
I wondered if I should ask more about Aubrey, but I didn't even know how to begin that conversation. The Avengers knew that my sister was somehow involved in this HYDRA nonsense, but there was no clue or trail of crumbs that led to any sort of answer.
The sound of doors swinging open made me startle in my seat. Coming out from the restricted halls, where the operating rooms were, was a tall, lean man wearing navy blue scrubs. He was handsome, but his features were harsh and sharp. The guy had cheekbones that could cut glass. He ripped the disposable surgery cap off his dark hair and the disposable shoe covers off his dress shoes then tossed them into the trash.
"Dr. Strange?" I called out while rising to stand.
The man shot me a nonchalant glance and continued to walk past me as he spoke, "Who's asking?"
"I'll take that as a yes." I mumbled and jogged after him. "My name is Aj Bradshaw—"
"The Avenger girl from the news." Dr. Strange scoffed. "I assume that means you know Tony Stark and you're here to bother me with the same question." He came to a sudden stop and I nearly stumbled trying to stop beside him. Dr. Strange turned to face me with a skeptical glare, "Who even let you back here?"
I smirked, "Your ex-girlfriend actually."
"Christine." He growled under his breath and turned to leave again, but I slid in front of his path to stop him. "Tony Stark already offered me more money than even I can fathom and countless other things. I doubt you have anything else to offer me that would sway—"
"Oh, no, no." I shook my head with a smile, "I'm not here to offer you anything. I'm here to tell you that you should take this case."
Dr. Strange raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms, "How exactly do you expect this to end any differently? Especially since your tactic is to offer me less than previously offered."
I held my chin up high, unintimidated by him, "You don't give a damn about Tony's money. You're the best neurosurgeon in America, maybe the world, which is why I know you make plenty of that on your own." Dr. Strange's lips twitched up in amusement and I was positive that was just because I had complimented him. "And I know you're not turning down this case because of a lack of interest. Tony told you the details available. This is a once in a lifetime kind of case."
"So?"
"So that means the only reason you turned it down was because of your damn ego." I said firmly. "You care more about your stupid reputation than you do the care of this patient."
Dr. Strange scoffed, "He isn't my patient. I don't have to give a damn about him. There are plenty of other neurosurgeons in the world. Get one of them." He tried to move past me, but I slid in his way again. His amusement was replaced by irritation. "Don't make me call security on you. I'd never hear the end of it from Christine."
"I don't want any neurosurgeon. I want the best." I snapped. "If you're as good as everyone says you are than this surgery should be a walk in the park."
"Walk in the park?" Dr. Strange laughed rudely. "Tony Stark comes to me asking for me to work on an Avengers case but doesn't even offer me any imaging. You people want me to cut into this man's spine without any eyes. Completely blind. For all I know the moment I open him up, his nerves will look like a ball of spaghetti." He took a step toward me, the man was towering over me, but I refused to stumble back. "I will not attach my name to a case that is doomed to fail."
I shook my head, "The case will fail if I get anyone below your skill level. You're the best. If it's going to succeed then we need you."
"I don't care." Dr. Strange rebutted then pushed past me.
After taking a steadying breath, I whipped around and chased after him again. I stepped into his path and the look on his face told me that the doctor was considering strangling me right here in the hospital hall.
"You don't want to do this because you're a cowardly bastard who refuses to take the risk and help someone who needs it because you want to maintain your 'perfect' record."
Dr. Strange raised an eyebrow at me again skeptically, "Have you done this before? Because you're absolutely terrible at it."
I gave him a tight smile, "We don't want this to be public. If, God forbid, something goes wrong then you don't have to take the blame for it. Your name doesn't have to be associated with this case unless it ends well, and you want it to." Dr. Strange actually seemed mildly interested at this which made me want to mildly punch him in the face. "Reputation wise this is all reward and no risk for you."
"I suppose that makes this somewhat better." Dr. Strange hummed. "It is an interesting case. Still, the answer is no."
"Why? You had a reason, and I fixed that reason. Plus, you're still gonna get the damn money and whatever else Tony promised you!"
Dr. Strange smirked, "Because you and Stark annoy me."
He began to walk away again, but when I let out a laugh he stopped and turned back around to look at me. I grinned and crossed my arms, "You think I'm annoying?"
"Incredibly so." He narrowed his eyes.
"Well, this annoying girl has no real job." I took a step forward, smug, "And I know where you work. And I was recently shot in the gut and nearly died—" Dr. Strange's face twisted in confusion, "—so my sleep schedule is absolute shit right now. Which is my long-winded way of saying that I can be here at this hospital for more than 15 hours a day just to annoy the shit out of you." His face fell in aggravation and my smirk grew. "I'm a dog with a bone, Strange, you aren't getting rid of me anytime soon."
Dr. Strange stormed closer to me, but I just beamed up at him as he glared down at me. There was a tense moment between us where I was half worried that he would straight up commit murder, but after a few more seconds I noticed a look in his eyes. The look wasn't so much 'I'm gonna throat punch this annoying brat' and more 'how the hell did I let this bitch wear me down?'.
It was my favorite kind of look.
"So, do you have Tony's contact information, or should we trade numbers?" I motioned between us with my hands.
Dr. Strange rolled his eyes, "Get the hell out of my hospital." He shook his head and stormed down the hall again. Before he disappeared out of sight, he called out over his shoulder, "Email me his case file, Stark Jr."
It took all my self-control to not jump up and down in the halls in excitement. Bucky had a neurosurgeon. He had the best damn neurosurgeon that anyone could have. I bounced in place once, pulling my phone out to text Tony with the news, and then hurried towards the elevators. Tony seemed as thrilled as I was about the news, but also a little peeved that I managed to do what he couldn't.
When I re-entered the Emergency Room I only got a few steps in when Claire intercepted me. She held her hands out, "Well?"
"I have a neurosurgeon." I said while twisting in place, hands held behind my back. Claire chuckled with a slight shake of her head. "Did you doubt me, Temple?"
"Only for a minute." Claire gave my arm a squeeze and pointed me toward a door off to the side where she had stored Captain America. I walked into the nurse's lounge and when I stepped in Steve's eyes snapped to mine.
He stood up and held his un-slinged hand out in a questioning motion, "What's the news?"
I grinned, "We got a neurosurgeon!"
"Hey! I knew you could do it!" Steve cheered with his arm still outstretched and an excited smile on his face. I bounced in place again and hurried forward to throw my arms around his neck tightly. Steve wrapped the arm not in a sling around me and squeezed. "That's my girl."
At his words, I realized where I was. I pulled back quickly, but Steve's hand at my waist kept me from pulling back to far. We stared at each other for a tense moment. His lips were parted with an unsaid statement, and I could feel an apology hanging from my own lips. A million years could've passed in a blink and I wouldn't have even noticed.
"Aj…" He said softly.
Panicked, I pushed off him and shook my head, "We—We need to get back before it, uh, gets too late. Let's go."
I didn't wait for him to reply and turned on my heel, face on fire. I'd find Claire to say good-bye, find Christine to thank, and then I'd get in my car and ride back to the Compound with Steve in what I was sure to be the most awkward forty minutes of my entire damned life.
"He's still not talking."
Coulson chuckled to himself and glanced over at May who had walked in with a look somewhere between exhausted and annoyed, "Are we surprised?"
May's lip twitched up in brief amusement and she nodded toward the one-way glass that separated them from the interrogation room, "I don't know. If I had to be stuck in a room with Clint Barton for more than 15 minutes, I think I'd crack."
Coulson laughed under his breath and the humor was a great break from the monotony of the last five hours. Natasha had thrown in the towel thirty minutes ago and had boarded a quinjet to head back to the Compound. He didn't blame her. The red head had been out on mission all day with Vision when he had to break the news to her that they had found Rumlow in the first place.
"Aw come on, buddy. You're starting to hurt my feelings." Clint's voice drifted through the speaker. Coulson pushed off the back wall to step closer to the one-way glass. Rumlow was a mess. Nearly this time last year, the building that had collapsed on him had left him disfigured and scarred. If that wasn't enough, now he sported various injuries that painted his skin shades of purple, red, and yellow. Three fingers on his left hand were broken, some ribs on his right side were fractured, and the deep gash at his hairline told Coulson that the guy was probably nursing a concussion. "I can listen to myself talk literally all day long. It's a gift. Now, I'll ask for the 84th time today: Why the hell does Strucker want the Bradshaw sisters?"
May hummed from beside him, "What do we know about the Bradshaw sisters?"
Since Rumlow was still ignoring Clint, he turned to face the agent and his old friend, "You know Aj. Abandoned orphan turned pre-med student turned nearly a medical student turned illegal underground ring fighter turned Avenger."
"We know all of that, but we still don't know why she was any of that. She isn't inhuman but there's no way in hell she's human."
Coulson raised an eyebrow at her, "Not human? Are you thinking—what? Alien?"
"I'm thinking we've seen a lot of wild shit and she's included in that category." May replied. He bobbed his head in thought. Unfortunately, the theory of Aj being alien wasn't farfetched these days. Her history was pretty soundproof. There was no evidence of a UFO dropping her off in her early years. "But what about her sister?"
"Aubrey Joan Bradshaw." Coulson shrugged. "Born in Summerbrooke, Alabama in 1984. Aged out of the foster system when Aj was 14 and left her there, ran away with her now husband. She has three children. And last I heard she was vacationing somewhere while Aj's last foster mother babysits her kids back in Alabama."
"Do we know if she's inhuman?" May asked.
"We can always try and track her down and see if she's bought fish pills recently." Coulson shrugged. If Aubrey turned out to be inhuman maybe that would make a little more sense. That would mean they both had alien ancestors but only Aubrey had the gene to be activated. Maybe Aj's was just showing through in a different way?
A deep chuckle made both May and him stiffen. They slowly turned back to the glass to see that Rumlow was chuckling to himself and that now the chuckles were turning into a loud, roaring laughter. Clint was tense in his own seat across from him, shoulders stiff. Coulson locked his jaw.
Rumlow let his lips curl up into a ghastly grin, "Oh, Barton. Baby Bradshaw is your friend, huh?" Coulson watched Clint's fists curl up into balls against the table. He silently begged his old friend to not take the bait. The bastard was obviously just trying to get a rise out of him. Rumlow leaned in close, still smirking arrogantly, "She's not really my type. Runs that mouth too much when it could be doing much more productive things. Beggars can't be choosers though, I guess, and besides…I'm still really gonna enjoy killing her with my bare hands."
It was the final straw on the camel's back.
Clint leaped over the table and tackled Rumlow to the ground as he began to wail on the man. Coulson and May took off to try and get into the room and stop Hawkeye from murdering their one lead on this case. It was going to be a long night.
I was speed walking away. To the point where my arms were literally pumping by my side to push me forward. Put a sweat band around my head and a pair of leg warmers around my calves and I'd look like a middle-aged mom exercising in the park.
"Aj!" I tried to move faster, but I was no match for super solider speed. Not without breaking out into a pathetic full out sprint, and even then I'd only get so far. "Aj!" His voice yelling out my name echoed in the empty lobby around us. A warm hand wrapped around my upper arm and spun me around, "Hey!"
I was facing Steve now and he loosened his grip so the palm of his hand just lightly brushed against my skin. The only lights on around us were the lobby's emergency ones which filled the room with a dim glow. It was plenty of light though. Enough that I could see Steve's face crumple in sadness.
"I'm sorry." He said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you like this. I just…" Steve took in a sharp breath. "I miss you and I know I hurt you—"
"God, Steve stop!" I snapped and yanked myself away from his grasp. "Hurt me? Hurt me? Steve, I hurt you!"
I hated this. My entire chest was aching, and I didn't know what to say to make him understand. Steve's eyebrows furrowed at my words, but I didn't give him the opportunity to speak. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, in order to keep myself in one piece, "The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you and that's exactly what I fucking did."
"You didn't—"
"Don't!" I cut him off. "I did hurt you and I can't risk doing it again. I don't trust myself around you, Steve. I purposely made a decision that I knew was gonna crush you and even now…" I scoffed at myself, my throat beginning to feel tight, "I'd do it again, Steve." My lower lip quivered, and I knew I was about to start crying. "If I could go back in time I'd make the same damn decision even knowing that it'd hurt you. What the hell does that say about me? What happens when we get put into another situation like this? I can't trust myself not to break your heart."
Steve slowly stepped closer, "The good news is, Bucky was the only long lost best friend I had so the odds of this happening again…"
"Steve."
"Listen to me, sweetheart." Steve said softly. He came even closer and lifted a hand to my face. His thumb swiped away the tears that had slipped from my eyes. The tip of his tongue ran over his lower lip before he bit down on it. Steve nodded once, "I'm proud of what you did. You saved Bucky, Aj. God, I owe you everything for that." I shook my head tightly, but Steve's grip on my face stopped me from doing it more. "I want you to make those decisions. Aj, you do what you think is right and I love—" Steve's jaw clenched briefly. "That's one of the many things I admire about you. Before, I was upset because I had created this version of you in my head and I expected one behavior but… That was on me. You're your own person and I shouldn't have expected you to do something just because I wanted that of you."
I bit down on my own lip hard before speaking, "None of this was on you."
"Aj, we may not always agree on each other's choices or opinions. This is a prime example of that." He chuckled. "But I will always be proud of you for doing what you think is right. I'm sorry I lost sight of that."
"I'm sorry I hurt you." I said softly. He shook his head, but I kept going, "Steve, you are so important to me. I can't… not being around you the last month and a half was torture, but—but what if I hurt you again?"
Steve's hands slid down my shoulders to hold the sides of my arms. He squeezed them once and gave me a bright smile. The kind of smile that always made me feel like things were going to be alright. He chuckled, "You were hungover, but…do you remember what I told you that morning after Thanksgiving? After we talked about you not wanting to hurt me?"
"No." I shook my head, and it was the truth.
Steve pulled me into his arms, I let my arms loosely slide around him, and he rested his cheek on the top of my head, "I said the risk would be worth it to have you in my life, and that's the honest to God truth. Even if the chances of me being hurt are 99%, I don't give a damn." He turned his head, lips at my hair line, "Aj, I just want you in my life."
A sob fell from my lips and I buried my face into his chest. My arms tightened around him and I absolutely melted. God, I missed him. I knew I missed him, of course I knew that, but being in his arms took it to a whole new level. Steve pulled away too soon, but he moved his hands to my face and swiped away my tears again.
He chuckled, "Can we agree that we're both idiots and go back to normal please?"
"Yes." I nodded with a strangled laugh of my own. "I'd like that a lot."
Steve grinned down at me smugly, "So, does this also mean when our song comes on you won't punch your fist through your car's dash to stop it?"
With another laugh, I shoved him away from me, "You ass. I changed it because it was embarrassing!" Steve raised an eyebrow at me questioningly. I crossed my arms and tried to pout, but my smile wouldn't falter. "I would listen to the song anytime I missed you. I think my damn phone has played it a hundred times this past month."
Steve's smirk grew. He reached out to hook a finger in one of my front belt loops and pulled me closer, "That's cute."
"Oh, shut up."
"No, no." He shook his head, grinning down at me, "It's very cute. You're very cute."
My eyes drifted up to his hair, "You know what's actually cute? Your damn hair. I've been waiting so long to say something." I lifted a hand, and he lowered his head slightly so I could messily rake my fingers through his long, slicked back hair. "It's so long!"
"Do you like it?" Steve asked sheepishly.
"I haven't decided if I like the long look or the short one better." I hummed and pulled my hand back, his hair all mussed on his head now. "But regardless you'll always be Captain Handsome."
Steve chuckled, "Am I still that on your phone?"
"Always." I closed the space and pulled him into another hug. Listening to his heart, feeling heat radiating off him, made my fear all the more real. Steve said I was worth the risk, but my sad little brain couldn't even begin to fathom that. If I hurt him again it'd be the death of me. I lightly pushed away from him again and lifted a hand to set on the side of his face. He gave me a questioning look and I shook my head, "Steve, I really am so sorry. God, I'll never be able to say it enough. I'm sorry, and I'm—"
Steve set his hand over mine, pulled it away, and set a kiss on the back of my hand with a smile. He chuckled, keeping his hands around mine, "No more apologizing. Deal?" I nodded and his eyes widened. "Oh, and while we're on this." Steve let go of my hand to pull out his phone. I furrowed my eyebrows and watched as he pulled back the case to pull out a familiar folded sheet of paper. He tucked his phone back into his pocket then opened it up to show me the note I had left him. Steve gave me another soft look and he tore the note up. "I hope you know that what you wrote was literally the dumbest thing I've ever read."
"Oh yeah, then why'd you keep it?" I argued with a chuckle.
"To remind myself that I was a goddamn idiot." Steve said.
I pushed my hand against his chest again, "Does Bucky know you're cursing in front of a gentle dame like me?"
Steve rolled his eyes, "No, he doesn't, and if you snitch on me to him then I can't guarantee I won't come after you." He slid his hand into mine and began to drag me away. "You up for Netflix tonight?"
"Captain, are you asking me to Netflix and chill?" I scrunched my nose at him.
He squeezed my hand and looked back at me, "I'm asking you to Netflix and stop snarking at me."
"Oh, you know you love it." I retorted.
Steve's eyes softened, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
I pulled the hand he was holding toward me so I could wrap my other hand around it as well, "I also have another embarrassing confession." He nodded once and I continued. "I haven't watched any Walking Dead without you. I'm super far behind."
"I guess I have a confession too then." Steve smirked. "I haven't watched a single episode without you either."
My insecurities and fears still screamed in my hand, but there was something about Steve that just made a person feel like they could be bigger than what they were. Steve Rogers could lead me straight into hell, but with my hand in his, the flames wouldn't even give me pause.
Bucky ran the dish in his hands under the faucet. His mind was still reeling over the meeting he had with Dr. Bass and Ms. Kim. He had been hesitant as hell, but they were truly amazing people. Dr. Bass had been sincere when they spoke. With no fear, he had taken his hand, shook it, and told him that he was honored to work with him. Dr. Bass had called him a war hero. Both him and Ms. Kim had been so excited to go over their thoughts on the surgery. Then Tony came back with news that Aj had roped in America's number one neurosurgeon?
The amount of people gathering to help him was unbelievable. He was the least deserving person on this plant for this kind of help, and he wondered if these genuine, talented people would still be happy to help him if they knew of his sins. They advertised him as a 'prisoner of war, tortured, war veteran', but they always left out the people he murdered in cold blood. They always left out details of the Soldier.
Bucky tensed at the sound of breaking glass and he glanced down to realize his metal hand had gripped a mug too tightly and it had exploded into shards of ceramic. He dropped the remaining pieces into the sink and stared at the metal as he clenched and unclenched his hand into a fist. One lapse in judgement was all it took. He stopped paying attention for just a second and look what happened.
He shook the water off his hands and rubbed at the back of his neck. The sound of the front door opening made him straighten his posture and push his worried thoughts into the corner of his head. Steve stepped into view, absolutely beaming, and he took that as a very good sign.
"That dorky grin makes me think your trip into the city was a good one." Bucky called out.
Steve nodded and walked over to lean on the counter, "Me and Aj made up. We cleared the air, and everything is fine between us. Plus, we also got you a neurosurgeon—well, Aj did. I sat in a nurse's lounge and moped."
"Sounds about right." Bucky joked.
"Shut up, jerk." Steve chuckled. He pushed up off the counter and it was only then that his smile faltered. Bucky grew briefly concerned. "Hey, Aj and I wanted to do a Netflix night tonight."
Bucky leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and his left ankle over his right, "Where's the problem?"
"Are you gonna be okay tonight without me?" Steve shook his head sheepishly. "I mean, I'd love to invite you, maybe sometime we could do one the three of us, but tonight I kind of wanted…"
Steve was tall, broad, and built of just muscle. Sometimes Bucky could hardly recognize his friend, but in moments like this he saw the punk kid he grew up with. Awkward and nervous around any pretty gal that would look his direction. Bucky gave him a small smile, "Stevie, I'm 98 years old. I think I can handle one night on my own without a babysitter."
"I know, I know. I just feel bad leaving you here." Steve replied.
Bucky snorted and turned to the fridge to grab a water bottle, "You gonna try and take me on all your dates?" After he grabbed one and went back to face his friend he was surprised to see a look of nervousness on the blond's features. "What?"
"Is this a date?" Steve asked. "We used to do this all the time and I never got to actually ask her out. Ultron interrupted that. But…Is it?"
"The gal usually has to know she's on a date for it to be considered one." Bucky replied and his voice came out sharper than he intended it to. Steve didn't seem to notice, and he nodded in agreement with another nervous chuckle. He rubbed his jawline, "You said it yourself. The two of you used to do this all the time. You don't need to be so nervous, punk, you're overthinking it."
Steve's shoulders relaxed marginally, "Right. You're right. I'm gonna go change really quick."
Bucky watched Steve move toward his room and he mentally tried to work out his own thoughts. Why had he snapped? Steve and Aj were good friends. Very good friends. Bucky was actually super happy that they had finally made up. Despite the front they had put up, he could see how the tense relationship weighed on each of them. Now they'd both be happy. That's what he always wanted.
Bucky wanted Steve and Aj to be happy and safe.
That's exactly what they were.
They were safe in this billion-dollar compound, and now they were really happy. They'd have their movie night, they'd settle back into their usual relationship, and one thing might lead to another. One thing might lead to another. Wasn't that his plan? Steve and Aj would be an ideal couple, and while he was here shouldn't he do everything he could to help his awkward friend nab the dame of his dreams?
The thought of Steve and Aj going on a date didn't just put a bad taste in his mouth. It made him sick to his stomach. He hated it. He hated that feeling because he had no fucking right to feel it. Bucky was getting ahead of himself. He stamped down the thoughts as Steve walked back out of his room in just a tight t-shirt and sweatpants.
"You know you're not as scrawny as you used to be, right? You can get bigger shirts now." Bucky called out.
Steve laughed at his jab, "Are you sure you're okay here on your own?"
"Will you get the hell outta here, punk?" Bucky replied.
"If you need me, you know where to find me." Steve replied.
He nodded and gave his best friend a small wave. Bucky heard the front door shut and he pressed his lips together tightly. Before he could drown himself in self-loathing thoughts, Bucky grabbed his book and dropped down on the couch in the living room. He settled in, getting lost in the story, but only half an hour later he was interrupted.
"Mr. Barnes, Ms. Romanoff is at your door." FRIDAY chimed.
"Why?" Bucky blurted out, but he hadn't meant it as an actual question for the faceless, talking robot voice hiding in the ceiling. He tossed his book aside and got up to answer the door himself. Maybe the assassin was finally here to kill him.
Bucky pulled the door open and was greeted by the red head who wore a baggy t-shirt and leggings. He expected her to be holding some sort of weaponry, but instead she had a clear bag filled with what looked like nail polish and various other items he didn't fully recognize.
"Um, hi?" He said nervously. Bucky would've felt more comfortable if she were holding a gun to his head ironically enough.
Natasha smirked, "Hi. You gonna let me in?"
"Uh." Bucky stepped back so she could breeze by him and finally found his words, "What are you doing here?"
She glanced over her shoulder with a look that made him feel like he had asked the dumbest question in the world. Natasha shrugged, "It's girls' night."
Bucky walked after her coming to stand by the edge of the living room while she settled on his couch without hesitation. He crossed his arms and slouched into himself, "I know the long hair may be confusing but…"
"Your best boy stole my girl." Natasha replied. "So, I needed a replacement. Clint is shit at girls' night. He always just ends up turning it into sex which is more than fine, but it's not a girls' night. At least, it's not the kind I've had in a very long time."
Bucky lifted one hand to cup his chin, fingers splayed over his tight lips, as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. He hummed once, "God, am I hallucinating?"
Natasha patted the seat beside her with a smirk, "Come sit down and let me braid your hair."
And because she was Natasha Romanoff and he really had nothing to lose, Bucky did as she said. The deadly assassin had turned on a movie titled '13 Going on 30' then pulled out purple nail polish to paint her toes with. Bucky leaned back in his seat and watched the movie that was apparently about a girl wishing she was old and then traveling to the future where she was old? Bucky didn't see the appeal of being taken out of your fated time.
"You haven't met him in person, but the actor who plays the male lead looks just like Bruce." Natasha pointed to the screen with her brush. "We used to make fun of him for it every time we watched this movie."
"How often did you watch this movie?" Bucky questioned.
"Enough. It's Aj's favorite chick flick." She replied. "This and 'Sweet Home Alabama'."
Bucky nodded, "I thought her favorite film couple was from 'The Mummy'?" Natasha didn't immediately reply so he glanced over at her and realized she was staring at him with a grin. He shifted in his seat, "What?"
"Favorite movie couple is a different category than chick flick, but still…Interesting thing to remember. I assume she told you during one of your many secret talks?" She chuckled. Natasha screwed the brush back into the bottle and set her feet on their coffee table so her toes could dry, "Did she tell you her favorite book?"
Aj liked 'Little Women' because she loved reading about how the sisters loved each other so much, she read it every year, but her absolute favorite book was 'The Little Prince'. It was a book her mom used to read to her. Bucky thought it was ironic how much she loved that book. He had never read it, but it had been published in 1943. The year he was drafted. Bucky vaguely had a memory of hearing about it and he only remembered it because he had planned on buying it for Rebecca.
Natasha chuckled, "I'll take your long silence as a yes." Bucky felt warmth on his face while FRIDAY announced another person at his door. He briefly wondered why the hell he was suddenly so popular. "Let him in, FRIDAY!"
"Yes, Ms. Romanoff."
Seconds later, Sam jogged into the room rubbing his hands together, "Did I miss the face masks?"
"Nope, you're just in time." Natasha replied and began to dig out items from her bag. "Do you want green tea, rose, or coconut?"
Sam dropped down on the other side of Natasha wearing a hoodie and shorts. He hummed loudly in thought, tilting his head back and forth, "I will take… coconut. I need a tropical getaway while not getting away."
Bucky watched as Sam leaned back in his seat and Natasha ripped open a blue package. She pulled out a white cloth of sorts and settled it on the man's face. There were holes for his eyes, nose, and mouth. She tossed the empty wrapper onto the table then turned to him with a the green one.
"You're getting green tea because Lord knows you need something calming in your life, Barnes." She said then handed him a head band. She pointed to her own head band that was holding her red hair away from her face. Bucky gave her a skeptical look, his eyes darted to Sam who was casually watching the movie, and then back to her.
Well, why the fuck not?
Bucky slid the head band in, but apparently, he didn't do it well enough because Natasha scoffed at him and then readjusted it. He leaned back and nervously clenched and unclenched his hand.
"Relax. It's a face mask, not arsenic. You can trust me. If I were going to kill you it would be directly and not with some odd poison."
Bucky nodded, "Gee, thanks."
She set the cool cloth on his face where it was supposed to sit and then turned to do her own. The face mask was wet, clung to his face, and smelled just like it was advertised. It actually wasn't too bad though. Relaxing wasn't quite the word. He felt too nervous sitting on the same couch as Natasha and Sam to be fully relaxed, but the mask wasn't terrible.
"Steve and Aj finally made up." Sam said, "And I'm happy, but they couldn't have done this 24 hours sooner? I owe Stark money now."
"That's what you get for betting money on it, Wilson." Natasha replied. "Both of them are too stubborn for their own good." She shook her head. "I'm surprised we didn't have to intervene for them. Wilson, popcorn."
Sam scoffed, but stood, "Bossy." He turned to head to the kitchen. "Barnes, your popcorn in the same place?"
"Uh—" Bucky turned in his seat to look at him.
"Never mind, found it." Sam pulled a bag out of the pantry and moved to the microwave. Once it got going, he whipped around and pointed back at them, "How come you didn't get invited to Netflix night, Bucky? They leave the kid at home for date night?"
"It's not a date." Natasha replied at the same time that he did. He shot her a look at the same time that she looked at him. She chuckled and focused on the TV while speaking again, "He has to get the balls to ask her on a date for it to be a date."
Bucky thought it was funny that he had literally said something along similar lines to Steve before he left. Sam came back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn and sat back down in his seat. He pointed to both of them, "He built up the courage to do it. Steve was gonna ask her out that night at the party, but then Ultron kicked down our door and fucked us up."
"Yeah, but now he has to start over. They're basically at square one. Steve has to re-work up the courage to ask again and since it took him four months the first time…" Natasha scoffed. Bucky was content with focusing on the movie again, but the red head suddenly turned to look at him and he was glad the face mask hid most of his grimace, "What do you think?"
"About?"
"About Steve and Aj?" She elaborated, not that it was actually needed.
Bucky swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and shrugged, "I'm glad they made up. Steve seemed really excited to hang out with her tonight. So that's—that's good." He cleared his throat while Natasha and Sam just stared at him in blank looks. Bucky sighed, "What is going on?"
They both laughed and he couldn't help but smirk with a shake of his head. Every single person who lived in this Compound was a different kind of crazy. Natasha pointed to his face before pulling off her mask. Bucky mimicked her actions and peeled the damp item off his face. He stood and held his hand open to take hers. Sam pulled his off and held it up to him with a smirk.
"Who said I'm taking yours too?" Bucky snorted.
"It's the least you can do for taking my sandwich earlier." Sam retorted.
Bucky took his used face mask and grumbled, "That sandwich was shit."
"You take that back, Barnes!" Sam yelled at him as he walked to the kitchen to throw away the masks. He also grabbed the kitchen towel to dry the remaining dampness off his face. Natasha told him he was supposed to rub it in and let it air dry, but Bucky was over that. He walked back over to sit back in his seat.
Natasha sunk into her seat and crossed one ankle over the other, "I want to start weapons training with Aj. Something she can use on the regular that isn't a gun because she's got the worst aim I've ever seen."
"Didn't we talk about this before?" Sam asked and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth, "What about those things the—the—" He snapped his fingers in thought, "Oh! karambits! One for each hand. She could go to town on a motherfucker."
The red head seemed to briefly think on it, but Bucky cut in, "No." They looked to him curiously and he shrugged, "She doesn't like knives."
"Well, then something along the lines of a baton?" Sam thought aloud. "We know 'blunt force trauma' is right up her alley."
Natasha thought through her own process and Bucky was surprised that they didn't even question his statement at all. They took his thought, his opinion, and moved on from there. Bucky leaned back in his seat and listened to the dialogue from the movie and the lighthearted argument between Sam and Natasha. Every person at this Compound was a different kind of crazy, but Bucky kind of liked it.