XxX
There was no singing or merry making for their victory. Death weighed heavy on the living that night.
Tauriel rested on one of the fallen pieces of stone, her legs tucked under her as the stars scattered above her, "This is where you should be. Not locked away forever in the dark." She leaned back against the cool stone, numb.
Wandering eyes saw her heavy shoulders and dulling eyes. Though none knew the sources of her heartache, they saw her scars with easy, for Tauriel wore them like a cloak to conceal herself from the world's prying nature.
She walked like a beautiful shade through the camps, searching for that which was lost. Tauriel was drawing into herself and, when she shared a meal, of which she barley ate, she would look past the occupants of the once abandoned city as if they were nothing but a shadow.
Her sensitive ears caught the sound of the almost silent footsteps. Tauriel relaxed, trying to give off the appearance of vulnerability, What is an elf doing in the camp of men?
The young she-elf had decided to spend her evening half way between the men and the dwarves to clear her thoughts. Tauriel flirted with the hilt of a dagger she had stolen from a fallen soldier earlier that day, ready to strike.
"I do not mean to startle you; I simply wish to offer you a blanket." The elf, a male by the sound of his voice, called, "I am Annúndir of Rivendell."
"And how did an elf of Rivendell find his way here?" She inquired, gracefully sitting up and turning towards the intruder. The elf held a unique look, like she did; his hair was a rich, deep bistre and his eyes shone brighter than tanzanite. He was tall, compared to the men and dwarves, but average for an elf and was dressed in the traditional wear of a Rivendell soldier, "You are quite far from home."
"I could ask the same of a Mirkwood she-elf." Annúndir retorted gently, holding out the blanket.
"Thank you." Tauriel gave a gracious nod as she accepted the thoughtful gesture. She had left Mirkwood with nothing but her bow and arrows, which Thranduil had destroyed, leaving her with nothing to her name.
If you return to the Realm, you can earn your place and that is worth more than possessions, her conscious whispered.
Tauriel wrinkled her nose at the thought, Is a name and a bed worth submitting to the list of rules I was given? I wouldn't even be free to leave the Halls. What is life worth if I am cut off from the stars?
"I was sent by Lord Elrond to the Forest, in hopes that I might be of assistance to the dwarves. I learned of their escape once I reached the outer edge of your Realm." Annúndir explained.
Tauriel gave a gentle smile, curious if he had the gift of foresight, "How did you know we had the dwarves in our custody?" She began to unfold the blanket, for the first time feeling the chill of the night.
"Mithrandir sent a warning to the Lady Galadriel saying that he was forced to leave the dwarves on the outskirts of Mirkwood." He answered with ease, "Lady Galadriel was in Rivendell at the time and requested someone be sent to determine whether they received a warm welcome or not. I arrived at the gates just before the messenger from Laketown did with the news of Smaug."
"You are in the service of Lord Elrond?" Tauriel continued, her curious eyes shifting to her uninvited companion as he nodded, "He is well known for welcoming strangers from other kingdoms into his lands."
"Rivendell is a place of knowledge and acceptance. All peaceful elves are welcome in Lord Elrond's lands." Annúndir answered, "The same can be said for Lothlórien. But, distance will not heal the problems you face. One cannot outrun the scars of life or the consequences of one's choices." Tauriel nodded, knowing he had heard the rumors that stirred around the fires.
"They say that those that leave us are not truly gone." He continued, moving to sit by her now dangling feet. His shocking eyes looked out over the horizon, remembering the war, "Their souls become one with the stars, their stories taken to memory as they look down from above and guide us through life. They will always be with us." His compassion poured out, trying to bring the she-elf comfort as he shared in the sorrow of a stranger.
Tauriel nodded absentmindedly, the cool temperature of the night growing fiercer as it nipped and bit at her. She didn't realize how appreciative she had been towards the numbness until it was taken from her; now she felt too much and there was no escape.
"Who was he?" Annúndir asked, his voice softer than the wind.
The air burned her lungs as she inhaled sharply, "Not of our kind, so he will not be placed above." Tauriel replied, not wishing to say more. Her eyes drifted down, the memory of the stars too painful to face.
"Despite what you have been told, all those in Middle Earth – Elf, Man, Dwarf, Hobbit – are equal. Everything will come to a happy end, for evil will never reign victorious forever; just look at today if you need a reminder of that. The light will shine again." Annúndir finished triumphantly, his eyes lingering on the melancholy etched in her face.
Tauriel looked up; her eyes still distant but her lips softening in appreciation, "Thank you, Annúndir, for the blanket and the insight."
Annúndir gave an elegant nod of his head as he stood to take his leave, "Of course, my lady." Tauriel watched as he left, wondering what would have made him stretch out a hand of generosity to her, especially if he knew she had defied her King outright.
Tauriel laid back and recalled Annúndir's words, forcing her eyes to look onto the dust of diamonds across the sky.
"What do I do, Kili?" The tears started to trickle down her face like a newborn spring, which would only grow stronger with time, "Do I go back to what I once knew, allowing myself to be caged, or do I go on and face the unknown? I need guidance." She curled herself safely on the rock, taking care not to get close to the lip, "I need a sign."
XxX
Dawn broke, painted by the remembrance of spilled blood. The growing warmth of the sun stirred the she-elf from her dreamless sleep and she moved to get ready for the day.
"Tauriel!" A familiar voice called over the still slumbering camp. The Silvan looked up to see the Master of Dale making his way towards her.
"Lord Bard, what brings me the honor of your presence at such an early hour?" Tauriel asked when he was close enough to hear. With skilled hands, she folded the blanket and set it to the side before fluidly jumping down to greet the Master with a deep bow.
"No need for diplomacy, Tauriel, we are not before the Council." Bard smiled, trying to smooth his ruffled bedhead. One look at his clothes and Tauriel knew he had rushed to get out of bed, if he even went to one, that is.
His coppery eyes looked at her simple blanket and lack of supplies, "If you had needed a place to rest and a tent, I would have been more than happy to provide you with one."
"That is very kind of you, but I am happy to make do with the provision I have." Tauriel gave a civil nod before straightening back up, "How can I be of service to you, my lord?"
"A meeting has been called between Thranduil, Dain and myself." Bard explained, his unfaltering grin in place. Nothing ever diminished his spirit, which made him a strong leader, "I would like you to attend, not just as a mediator between our races but as a friend."
"Very well." She repeated, mirroring her earlier nod and keeping her head down as confusion knit her brow.
Of course she had spoken to the heir of Girion during her short stay before, and after, Smaug's attack but she hadn't thought much of it. It has been just that: short. Yet, here he stood, having advised her on the loss of one she loved yesterday and bidding her to attend a significant council today. Either the bowman was quick to trust or he saw something she did not.
Bard clapped his hands together, pleased with her quick response, "Good, we shall head there straight away."
The she-elf's heart raced. Pushing forth her courage, Tauriel stepped up with her question, "Why are you so kind to me?"
Bard stopped and slowly turned to her, "Because I know what it feels like to be lost when your heart is forever ripped apart, never to be mended together." He answered without fault, honesty smelting the copper in his eyes. Bard's memory of Thranduil blaming his need to intervene on the simple mindedness of Silvan elves clashed with the years of mockery he had faced because his ancestor's shot had been short, "And I know what it is like to be looked down upon because of what you are."
Tauriel found a deeper sense of respect for the simple man before her. To think an elf and a man had more in comment with one another than their own kin was unthinkable, but that was where they found themselves in that moment.
"Shall we?" Bard gestured towards the path, hinting at her to go first.
Tauriel reached up and retrieved the blanket, holding fast to one of the only material objects she had left, "We shall."
The elf forced herself to hold her head high as those within the camp stole glances at the pair, whispering behind their hands when they thought she wasn't looking.
A banished elf and a restored monarch attending a meeting of the King who banished her, that will make for some interesting tales around the fire tonight, she thought darkly, keeping her face clear of any emotion.
"Why has a council been called?" Tauriel asked when they reached the border of the elven camp.
Bard stopped with a small grin, his hand poised on the tent's flap, "It seems that Thranduil and I aren't the only ones to offer you a chance to start anew." That was all he offered before leading the way inside.
"Ahh, Lady Tauriel." The large, burly shape of Dain Ironfoot hopped down from his chair and started towards the young elfin, "We 'ave 'eard great things about ye and 'ow ye 'ave 'elped not only me kin but the citizens of Dale! Ye be not only a strong fighter but a powerful 'ealer as well!"
Tauriel started to pull back, not just for her surprise at seeing the dwarf lounging so casually in the Elven King's tent but for his ostentatious greeting and the vigor with which he took her hand and kissed it.
"I…I didn't do much to assist in either of which you speak." The dagger thrust deeper into her heart.
I could save him from a Mordor shaft but not a simple orc, a race of beasts I have killed hundreds of, she thought with guilt, If only I hadn't gotten cornered…he'd still be here…if it were me in his place…
"Y-your praise is unjustly given, my lord." Tauriel dropped her head, forgetting her manners as she tried to conceal her heartache.
"Tauriel." Came Thranduil's warning against her disrespect, knowing he had groomed her to behave better. The she-elf jumped, having been so caught up by the small dwarf to take note of the stiff King. A subtle flush warmed her cheeks as she looked back to the next in line.
Dain just took her slender hand into his gruff ones and smiled, "Aye, and 'umble to boot! She be worth thirty double edged axes any day in battle!" Tauriel wrinkled her brow, noting that most battle axes were double edged, anyway, and wondering why he felt the need to add the unnecessary adjectives.
"Ye must be wondering why we called ye 'ere, but, first, come, sit. Ye must be starved." Dain waddled his way back to the table and took his seat. Bard gave a small encouraging smile as he took his rightful place at the table.
Nervously, Tauriel followed. She had gone from a banished traitor to an honored guest overnight. Even though her thoughts worked quicker and more efficiently than any man's, she couldn't help but remain baffled at the uneven ground she now treaded, uncertain of what the next hour might hold, let alone the next day.
"Bard 'ere 'as told me about an offer 'e gave ye, to stay on 'ere in Dale and be a 'ealer. I would like to offer me encouragement for ye to stay 'ere as long as ye like. We, me people and I, would be grateful to 'ave ye in our 'alls." Dain smiled, his accent thick as he dug into his meal.
Tauriel's pulse grew, deafening her ears. The world was pressing in around her, backing her into a corner once more. She resorted to her past habits and looked to her King for a solution.
Thranduil sat, unfazed by the news, even though he hadn't known the dwarf's intentions. He had expected the Girion's heir to offer her a place, seeing that she had gotten his children safely out of the city before it was burned, but he hadn't expected such strong support from the odd little dwarf, nor for Tauriel to actually consider the offer.
Dain Ironfoot appeared to be missing the trait of his kind; to hate all elves before they said one word to him. Apparently, the dwarf preferred to base his judgments on one's character instead of race, an entirely different way of thought to the old Elven King.
"What do ye say?" Dain asked, leaning on the table.
Tauriel, who hadn't eaten in days, pushed her food aside, "I…" Her eyes lingered on Thranduil, knowing his offer had been an ultimatum. If she chose to side with the man and dwarf, then she would inevitably be banishing herself forever more, "I have not decided." She dropped her head once more, unable to look into any of their inquiring eyes.
Mirkwood was her home, but, with Legolas gone and the list of rules she was expected to uphold, would it be worth returning to?
Should she stay next to the Lonely Mountain, where the young dwarf, who had captured her heart, rested? Was she strong enough to face the memories and what could have been's day after day?
Or, should she venture on and see what life had left to offer her?
The smell of the fresh, warm food mixing with the air of an early winter filled her nose, reminding her of her inability to abandon those in need no matter their race. Thranduil could turn his back on wounded soldiers and starving children, but it's not what Kili would have done and it is certainly not what Tauriel could do now. She had been granted her life and she was determined to make it count.
Tauriel looked up, her path clear, "I am going to stay in Dale to help with the wounded for the time being." She saw the single wrinkle crease on the old King's brow as the other two celebrated her decision.
"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" Dain chuckled, turning to Bard, who looked equally pleased with her decision. Tauriel could feel all eyes on her, one, in particular, she purposely avoided meeting. The gruff dwarf dropped down from his seat and waddled towards one of his men.
"I almost forgot." Dain turned back to Thranduil with an over-sized box in hand, "I know ye are planning on returning to the Woodland Realm this day and I wanted to offer this as a sign of good will between our people. The White Jewels of the Elven Halls." Tauriel gasped as he revealed the stolen starlight; never had she seen such crafted beauty.
No wonder he lusts for them, she thought, looking away so she wouldn't become entranced by their spell.
Thranduil gave a graceful nod of his head as he accepted the gift, "I am grateful for your generosity, King Dain. These gems are precious to my people. Our treaty is renewed and if there is any further assistance you require of me, we will answer your call." He replied as if rehearsed.
"We 'ave something for the Lady, as well." Dain turned once more to his servant and retrieved a sword wrapped in precious cloth, "It isn't much, but please accept it as a token of our appreciation for what ye 'ave done in protecting the true 'eirs of Durin."
Tauriel held the odd shape before her, her heart clenching. She would have known it anywhere, since she herself had been the one to retrieve the weapon and give it to Dain with the news of the youngest heir's passing. Not wishing to share her lost love with anyone, she had stayed strong, her face regal and unmoving, when she told the story of his selfless death.
"No matter where ye go, Lady Tauriel, ye will forever be known as a friend to my people and welcomed in our 'alls. Yer title will be Tauriel Athelas." The King Under the Mountain bowed to the lowly Silvan elf, confirming that it was one's character, not their race, that he judged.
Tauriel bowed back, not out of simple decency but because she truly respected Dain Ironfoot, "I am honored, my lord."
"We should go start preparations for the rebuilding. Winter is coming soon." Bard offered gently, seeing clearly that the high Sindar elf wish to speak with his once Captain of the Guard.
Dain looked between the pair, having not noticed the tension before, and followed after the King of Dale.
At first, Thranduil said nothing. He simple moved to pour himself a glass of sweet wine and took a sip, gesturing for his guards to leave them. Tauriel remained where she was, unmoving.
"You said 'for the time being'."
Tauriel looked up, "Excuse me, my lord?"
"You said," He sighed, for once, letting his frustration drip into his voice, "'for the time being'. What do you plan on doing once the wounded of the men and dwarves are healed?"
"I…I have not thought that far ahead, my lord." She replied, "I am considering heading west."
Thranduil gave a calculating nod and Tauriel winced, knowing he was silently listing what lay west and where she could possibly go.
I rejected his offer, now he will ruin any chance I had at starting anew, her heart started to race at the idea.
"And what about the wounded of our own people?"
Tauriel let her head drop, her eyes searching the earth for an answer, "There are many skilled healers in your Halls, my lord, they will take better care of them than my naïve hands."
"So you turn your back on your people." Thranduil damned, turning his back to her.
"I do not turn my back on my people, my lord." Tauriel defended, the anger searing her veins as she fought for control over her tongue, "I merely wish to help those in need that have nothing. We are a part of this world, surly we mean to stand with our allies like you said."
"It is interesting that you would choose to go west instead of north. I thought you would follow Legolas' footsteps." He commented, ignoring her words.
"There comes a time when we each need to follow our own path, to leave the familiar behind and explore the unknown." Tauriel replied, forcing her tone to respect the man before her, "Legolas has started his own journey, and it is my time to start mine." Her wisdom made her sound older than she was.
"I should have known that you wouldn't accept the offer to return with your own people when I had placed such strict regulations on you." Thranduil sighed, swirling the rich liquid in his goblet, "You never have been one to follow rules, nín elen."
He hasn't called me that since I reached my 300th year, the young she-elf blushed at the old name. Her fascination with the stars had been sparked when she was but a girl. Thranduil had taken her and Legolas out to the highest mountain one night and told them the mythology of those above. Each night that followed, he would catch her out after hours, gazing up at the night sky, an action which earned her the name "my star".
"So you will be returning today?" Tauriel questioned, uncomfortable with the friction between their past and present.
Thranduil turned coolly towards her, his facade unreadable, "Yes."
Tauriel nodded as she tied the short sword around her waist and retrieved her blanket, "I wish you a safe journey, my lord. If you will excuse me, I should check in with the other healers and find where I am needed." With one last bow of her head, she took her leave, thinking she would never come face to face with the King again. Part of her was relieved that she would no longer be under his rule, while the hidden innocence within her mourned for the loss of what she had once known.
She strode through the elven camp with her head high, she wouldn't give them anymore to talk about than what they already had. Rumors spread swiftly enough of Tauriel, the banished guard of Mirkwood and friend of Dwarf and Man, staying behind. Some speculated that she was staying for the love of a man; others thought she wished to defy Thranduil further and had turned her back on her own kin.
None knew the truth, and Tauriel sought to keep it that way. Her love was sacred and hers alone, she wouldn't have it tainted by the hate of others.
She had just made it to the outskirts of the camp when she heard her name called. The she-elf turned to see Annúndir making his way towards her, riding atop a large mare. There was a knowledge in his eyes that was uneasy to look past; word certainly traveled quickly.
He dismounted with ease and started towards her, "I will be returning to Rivendell and I was curious if you wished me to carry Lord Elrond a greeting for you." The mare continued forward to Tauriel, even after the guard stopped.
The horse nuzzled her face, requesting attention. Tauriel laughed and took hold of her bridle, "And who is this?" Horses had always been known as friends to the elves, but the Silvan elf had a particular bond with the majestic creatures. They weren't just weapons in war or an ease to their work, they had souls like every living thing and were to be mourned when their time came.
"Tirnel." Annúndir ran his hand over the mare's side, "She has been my companion for years and road into many wars with me. I can trust her like none other."
"Star Gazer." Tauriel defined her name as she brushed her dark blaze. Stepping to the side, she ran her fingers through the thick, coal mane and down the blue roan of her coat, "I wish I had a trusted companion such as her."
Annúndir smiled, "One day you will. Which brings me back to my original request; do you wish me to greet Lord Elrond for you?"
"Yes." Tauriel replied, braiding a few strands of the mane, "Please greet him in my name, and tell him that I wish to visit his peaceful kingdom someday." She patted Tirnel on the neck and smiled, feeling like, for the first time, she had someone directing her steps.
"I will." Annúndir bowed his head, "May Eru shine down on you and give you peace, Tauriel."
"As to you." Tauriel mirrored his action. She stepped back so he could mount and rose her hand to bid him farewell as Tirnel trotted towards the gate.
She held to the blanket, praying it wouldn't be the last sign of friendship she would ever receive from her kin.
"Excuse me, miss." Tauriel turned to see a young dwarf, not as tall as her waist, shifting nervously from foot to foot, "Would you care to come share breakfast with us?" The blush warmed the round face of Ori, his coal eyes looked uneasily around as the elves stared with open curiosity.
Tauriel smiled, knowing that her reputation among them mattered not, "I would love too." The small dwarf's face lit up and he started to chatter mindlessly as they walked through the tents, back to the camp of the dwarves and away from those of the elves.
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