At first, Tohru and Momiji walked in silence. Neither one of them was really sure what to say, or how to say it. Both of them could feel the strange tension between them; both of them hated it.

Finally Tohru couldn't take it any longer. This weird silence, this oppressive feeling of not knowing how to behave...she just needed to say something. Anything. It didn't matter what, as long as it broke through this awful tension!

"Um, how was your last day at school, Momiji? I hope you had an easier time saying goodbye to everything than I did."

Momiji smiled, relieved that Tohru had been able to break the ice between them. At least it was a start, to them maybe getting back to normal. "It was gut, Tohru. It felt strange, more than anything, because the day seemed so very normal. I did everything I usually do, went everywhere I usually did. Ate lunch. Talked to my classmates. If I didn't know I was graduating tomorrow, I could have believed it was just another Friday."

Neither one of them knew quite where they were going; they just wanted to walk. To put some distance between themselves and other people, to have something to occupy themselves. It wasn't a conscious decision, either, neither of them asked the other where they wanted to go, and neither offered where they were walking themselves. They just...walked.

Tohru smiled at Momiji's description of his day. It sounded so familiar, so very like how she had felt herself. Except she had known it was the end, even if it felt the same, and that knowledge had been almost smothering. Was that because she knew she'd be moving, only days later? Away from all that was comfortable and familiar, other than Kyo? Or was it because she just made a bigger deal out of things than she needed to?

Both of those things were equally likely, in her case.

"But you know, as cold as it might sound, I'm actually...happy about it, Tohru. Happy to be graduating, happy to be done. Do you want to know why?" Momiji wasn't looking at her; his attention was on the sidewalk in front him. It felt unnatural, to be speaking without looking, but it was far easier to stay in control. The last thing that either of them needed right now was to start crying again.

She felt almost afraid to ask him 'why.' Why would he be asking her like that, if the answer was good?

Momiji smiled to himself, shaking his head at her silence. "You don't want to ask, do you? Because you're afraid for me? Because you're afraid it's because I am hurting?" He sighed, then looked skywards. "You might be right, at that. But that's just it, Tohru, I don't want to be hurting, anymore." He finally looked at her, and Tohru was surprised to see the determination in his face. She stopped walking, and he did, too.

"This year has been so hard for me, Tohru. So very hard. I feel like I've been trapped, trapped in my feelings like soft, sinking mud. I've looked around and seen everyone moving forward with their lives, climbing out of the mud, or else side-stepping it entirely. And I've just been sinking, further and further down. Living in the same house, but no longer able even to dream for family. Attending the same school, without being able to look forward to seeing you. Walking the same roads, the same paths, moving, but feeling like I'm standing still."

Listening to him speak, Tohru once again felt that wave of incredible sadness, sadness and guilt. He'd been feeling this way for over a year now, and she'd never once picked up on it, never once truly tried to help him. But at the same time, she was starting to feel something else. His voice was getting stronger, and she felt he was building to something. There was nothing for her to do right now, nothing except listen.

"And I'm ready to graduate, Tohru. I'm ready to move on. I want, so badly, to move on. I will always cherish my memories. Perhaps I'll even allow myself to cherish my foolish, impossible dreams...one day." He smiled his sad smile, looking down once again at the ground. "In time, once they've lost their sharp edges. Because they did make me happy, once." He looked back at her, and reached out a hand.

Tohru took it, the tiny kernel of hope she'd felt before started to sprout. She'd only meant to be making conversation when she asked about school, but Momiji had made the jump on his own. Had he been agonizing as much as her? Worrying about her and her feelings, just like she'd worried about him? She'd worried so much about what she should do and say, how she could try to apologize. To fix things. But maybe he didn't need her to do any of that.

Not anymore.

"It's all been so painful, Tohru. None of it is anyone's fault; not yours, not my parents', not even mine. But it hurt, and there's been nothing I could do about it. I've looked around and seen so many happy people; couples, and families, happy and figuring things out together. And even when I knew that things were different for me, that my dreams were impossible, I just couldn't move on. Not while I've been here, constantly reminded of everything I'd wanted. What I wanted and couldn't have."

He took a deep breath, and he smiled. "So...I've decided, Tohru. I'm going to be going to university, in Germany. Starting next fall, when the German college term starts."

Whatever Tohru was expecting, it wasn't that. She was stunned, thinking about how very far away Germany was; so far that she couldn't even process it. He'd be leaving everything, everyone; there would be nothing familiar to him there, in a strange country like that! He'd be all alone, so far from his friends and everyone who loved him.

So far away from her.

But...that was the point, wasn't it? That was what he'd been saying, that he couldn't handle things the way they were. Close, but not close enough. Always being reminded of what he'd wanted, but could never have. But if he went abroad, to a new place, with new people...then maybe, he'd be able to find some peace.

Momiji smiled again, taking in Tohru's shell-shocked expression. "It's a lot to process, I know. You're actually the first person I've told, aside of Papa." He covered her hand with his other. "But I hope you can understand, Tohru. I feel that this is the right choice...to give myself some distance. To find new places, free from memories. To find new people. Maybe even to fall in love, with someone able to love me back." There was a trace of the sad smile again, but he quickly banished it; there was no sense in making Tohru feel bad on his behalf, not any more. "And you know I already speak fluent German. I'll even fit in, somewhat, with my hair." He reached up and touched his blonde curls, then took her hand again.

"So...what do you think?"

Tohru let out a slow breath. It was a lot to process, and it made her sad. If Momiji was in Germany, then how often would he be back in Japan? How long would it be before they'd be able to see each other again?

But at the same time...he looked happy, she realized. Actually happy, not happiness tainted by sorrow. He liked this plan. It might be a chance to escape, to get away from the hurt, but at the same time, he was excited. He looked...like he might truly want this. Even if there'd been nothing to get away from, is this what he would have wanted, all along? He was half German; was this finally a chance to connect with that side of himself?

She smiled, a bit tremulously. "Well...it's a lot to take in, Momiji!"

He laughed at that; she definitely had a point. "Ja, it's a bit of a bombshell, isn't it? Still...it sounds good, don't you think?"

His voice was so hopeful that Tohru couldn't have disagreed, even if she wanted to. "I think it sounds like a wonderful plan, Momiji. You'll be able to see so many amazing sights in Europe, and learn so many new things! You'll be so cosmopolitan after you're done that we won't even recognize you, I'm sure." She smiled, looking at Momiji's handsome face; in so many ways, she already didn't recognize him; he had changed so much from that energetic little boy she'd first known. But he was still Momiji; he was still her friend. Puberty hadn't changed that, and she fervently hoped Germany would change that, either.

Her enthusiasm was exactly what Momiji had needed to hear. He knew he was making the right choice, but making that choice caused its own kind of hurt.

"Ja, it's a beautiful country, and it's so easy to get around Europe as a whole when you're there. I'll be able to study violin with an excellent master...assuming I impress enough to get taken on, of course," he added with a chuckle.

"Oh, I'm sure you will, Momiji! You're such an amazingly talented violinist, I'm sure you'll have no trouble at all!" Tohru knew nothing about high-level musicianship, and they both knew it. But Momiji knew it was meant supportively, and he loved her for the thought.

"Though if it doesn't work out, then...I'll manage to get by there, as well. Because I've done a lot of thinking, Tohru. And a lot of talking with Papa, probably more than I ever had in my life before now. Talking about my future, and my plans. My hopes." Momiji looked back down at the ground, thinking of his mother and how she was forever beyond his reach. But not everything was.

"I'm planning to study international business. Just like Papa did, back when he was in school. I'll still be pursuing my violin studies, but...I don't think that's all that I want in my life, not any more. I want this connection to Papa, and to what he does. Papa told me that if I do well, that he'll be able to get me involved in the company, after I have my degree. With my language skills and the company's German partners, I'll be an excellent asset. And who knows; maybe one day, I'll be the one running it. And I can sit in the big CEO's office at the top of the building, thinking back to the days when I'd run around the lobby, helping you clean."

Bombshell upon bombshell; Tohru would never once have thought of Momiji as the business type, and she looked at him hesitantly. "Momiji...are you sure that part is what you want? To work in business? I know you have your father as a link, but if he wasn't there, is that still what would make you happy?" It sounded somewhat unbelievable to her, happy-go-lucky Momiji in a suit and tie. She could understand wanting to be closer to his father, but was the cost worth it if he didn't actually want that future?

Momiji squeezed her hand. "You've always been so considerate, and so wise, Tohru. I know, it sounds a little crazy at first; there probably aren't many business types who wear rabbit backpacks, are there?" He glanced over his shoulder at his own, and they both smiled. But then he became serious again, and he continued. "But I have thought about it, a lot. Papa actually had similar concerns; he told me that business can be a cutthroat world, and asked me if I was truly able to face that kind of life. Could I be strong enough to be harsh, when I needed to be? And I'll be honest; I hate the thought of being harsh. But...I don't think you need to be cruel to be harsh, Tohru. And I feel that I know...how to work with people. And I want to do that. I want to be a part of something, to help it grow, and become stronger. To be stronger myself. And if I can do that with Papa's help and support, then so much the better."

Tohru still wasn't sure what she thought. It was so much to take in, she didn't even know where to start making sense of it. But there was one thing that stuck out; how happy Momiji seemed when he was talking about it. She knew she didn't have the right to make any presumptions about him, not anymore; not after all the ways she'd let him down this past year. But she could be happy for him now, and she could support him, now.

"If you're sure, Momiji, then I think...I think it all sounds wonderful!" Tohru hoped she sounded as sincere as she felt, and she looked Momiji squarely in the eyes. "For me it would be terrifying, going that far away, and going alone. But I can see...I can see why it would all appeal to you. And I think the idea of a fresh start is such a good one, if that's what you want." She squeezed both his hands, and Momiji smiled back at her, relief written across his features. "I know it's selfish, but I'll miss you. And the idea of missing you makes me incredibly sad. But it would make me feel so much worse to know you were still feeling trapped in that mud...and I'd helped put you there..."

Tohru was crying now, and she let go of Momiji's hands to turn away. He'd clearly been processing this all for a long time; last night might have been the release of all his pent-up emotions, but he'd already been working on his exit plan. He already hoped to make changes. For Tohru, all of this was new; she was happy that he had a goal, happy he had a plan, but that didn't change the fact she'd driven him to that point, and she'd only learned that fact yesterday!

Tohru felt a hand on her shoulder, and heard Momiji's soft voice. "But you didn't, Tohru. You didn't; no one did, except possibly me. You didn't ask for me to...love you," he said, finally, explicitly voicing what had only been danced around before. "But I did. I did. I do. I still do," he said, shaking his head. "I look forward to the day that this love fades, and I'm left with what we had before, the love of good friends. Because I want that so much for us, Tohru; I want us to be able to stay friends. Good friends. Dear friends. But friends."

She turned back around to face him, teary-eyed, and Momiji drew back his hand. "I don't say this to upset you, Tohru, or to try and... presume. Or expect. Or anything. And I'm sorry I've put all this out there. But I just want you to understand that this isn't on you, unless somehow you have a way to turn on and off your spirit. Your kindness. Your caring. Your sense of fun. How beautiful you are, and how when you smile it lights up the room." His face had softened, and he was looking at her in a way that made her feel...strange. It was so similar to the way Kyo looked at her, yet coming from anyone else it felt wrong. She couldn't face it, and she turned away.

"I know Kyo knows, and I'm happy for that, Tohru. It always made me feel less dirty, for loving you, knowing he knew and I could never be accused of sneaking around behind his back. And I am happy for you two. I'll always be happy for you two. Because I love you so much that I want you to be happy, happier than anyone else. And for you to be that happy, you need to be with him. You've always needed to be with him."

When Tohru looked back at Momiji, she could see that the look was gone, replaced with one of quiet resignation. And she felt...relief; sudden, intense, relief. She didn't know what else to say, but Momiji was right. It had always been Kyo, and it always would be Kyo, in her heart. There was room for so much love from so many people, but when it came to romance...the person who lit up her life and made her heart race, the person she would choose over all others, the person she had chosen...it would always be Kyo.

There could never be anyone else.

Momiji could understand her silence, and he looked away. "Someday, Tohru, when I have met the person who I love and who loves me back, I hope to bring them here and introduce you. I don't know how long it will take; maybe I'll find them in university, or maybe it will take even longer. But I will keep looking, and keep hoping, until I find them. And I hope, when I finally bring them here, that you will be happy to meet them. And happy for me, too."

Tohru wiped at her eyes, thinking of that future day and what it might be like. How happy Momiji would look. How happy she'd be for him. Because she knew, unquestionably, that she'd be happy. "I'd love that, Momiji. I'd love that so very, very much."

Without intending it, they'd ended up back in the park. For a time, the two of them just continued walking, enjoying the winding little paths. Neither of them spoke, other than to point out random roving ducks. But then they saw the ice cream vendor, Momiji couldn't help but smile at Tohru, and she smiled back at him.

"Ice cream date, Momiji?"

"Ice cream date sounds wunderbar, Tohru."

Ice creams in hand, the two of them walked back along by the duck pond, watching the ducks swim past. And at first, they were quiet, focused entirely on eating. Then Tohru glanced at Momiji, who was watching her, and she gave him a hesitant smile.

"Are we...ok, Momiji? Really, truly, ok?"

Momiji took her hand and smiled. "I think so, Tohru. Or at the very least, we are on our way."