XxX
Tauriel lounged lazily on a high branch, her leg hanging carelessly off the side. Having found the sole place where she could part the leaves and see the stars, the she-elf was content with life for the time being.
"You are not the easiest elf to find, Tauriel Athelas." A voice beckoned from far below. The rich sound of the tenor voice bounced across the branches and echoed through the forest. Replying chatter from the sleeping critters told the speaker that his interruption was not welcome.
Tauriel smiled, closing her eyes and resting her head against the bare tree limb, "And you are certainly not the quietest. It is well past the nightly mid hour, surly a Captain of Lothlórien was taught to let others sleep in peace at this time." Begrudgingly she sat up and swung both her legs to one side, gazing down at the tall Silvan.
"And I would think a former Captain and now Adviser would understand the need for a well-rested sleep before a trying council meeting." He retorted with a smirk, "What are you doing in that tree? Talking strategy with the squirrels?"
Tauriel shook her head; it felt as if the man was purposely trying to seek her out to torment her.
The Lothlórien elf never had anything intelligent to say, only idle chatter as he worked harder each day to become her friend. Not even friend, he wished simply to be gifted her acquaintance and live without the constant tension between them.
His wish, however, was a gift Tauriel wasn't so willing to bestow upon the pompous elf. She would make him work for every ounce of affable will he so desired.
"Do pardon my intrusion, Tauriel Athelas, but I must speak with you." He called up, standing at attention with his hands together behind his back when he realized she wasn't about to give into his banter.
With a hidden roll of her eyes, the she-elf easily made her way down and landed with a graceful thud before the Captain. Her past caught up to her and tempted her to salute him with the honors his title demanded, but she remembered her present and how her names were higher than his and kept herself upright.
She jutted out her chin, wishing the conversation to be over quickly, "Speak what you will."
"We received a messenger; King Thranduil will be arriving before dawn." Haldir leaned in to whisper, as if the king's arrival was a great secret.
Tauriel pulled back, caught off guard by his concealing demeanor, "Weren't you aware that he was arriving today? Or does Lord Celeborn not hold you in his council as I am held in Lord Elrond and King Bain's?" She couldn't help the cheeky grin as he winced at her biting words.
Haldir regained his composure and set his opalescent eyes, which seemed to be a typical color in the Lothlórien elves, "I just wish to share with you a word of caution."
"If you are worried how I will conduct myself before a king in your lord's court, you need not. I know my place and my manners will be as such. I would never chance Dale's safety in favor of my pride." Tauriel replied stiffly, keeping her tone as diplomatic as she could.
Haldir stepped closer and she took a step back, her hand instinctively reaching for one of her twin knives, "You need to watch yourself, they are planning a test of sorts for you."
Tauriel narrowed her eyes, her fist flexing around the concealed handle, "Who?"
"Lord Celeborn. He—he wants to see what you are truly made of."
"What does he have planned?" Tauriel demanded, letting her suspicion shine through.
Haldir pulled back, surprised by her skeptical tone, "I am not sure. He excused me before he said anything further. But I know he wishes to see what happens when you come face to face with King Thranduil." His eyes darted to her hand and he took a step back, not wanting her to feel threatened. He held his hands up in surrounded, trying to put her at ease, "I simply wanted to warn you, nothing more."
Tauriel eased her shoulders and dropped her hands to her side, "Why?" She rose a brow, her eyes darkening and hardening to stone.
He had given her no reason to trust him and, until they were in the throws of battle together, she doubted he would ever earn the right on his own.
Tauriel was apprehensive, however, as a part of her began to question whether Annúndir's original assumption about the Captain had been correct. Haldir was chancing everything by breaking his lord's confidence to share with her what he knew; maybe he did respect her.
"It is not right to pin elf against elf, even if there is a broken past between the two. There is no reason to stir up old wounds in light of all that is going on." He straightened up, concealing his emotions that Tauriel had been reading like an open book, "I do not wish to see a fellow Silvan dishonored as such."
Tauriel gave a curt nod, "Very well." She had to take a steady breath and force the next words out, "Thank you."
No crack appeared in Haldir's mask but the bright sapphire iridescence within his eyes lit up ever so slightly at her appreciation.
Haldir advances were growing clearer, just as her Rivendell companion had predicted, and Tauriel found herself turning further within herself and holding fast to her pain. She gave an excusing nod and started on her way, not expecting the guard to follow after her.
"I requested that a few choice robes be sent to your quarters that you may change into at your convenience."
The hint of an order froze the Silvan in her tracks, "Excuse me?" She turned on her heel, using everything in her not to release the wrath growing within her.
Haldir was surprised by her quick turn around, "I meant no disrespect, I simply mean to help make you feel presentable."
"This—" Tauriel stepped back and held out her arms as if to present herself, "This is who I am. I feel quite presentable as is."
It wasn't the truth, but she wasn't about to let him know that.
Her once smoothed, intricate braids and twists were unraveling, while different twigs had caught in them and were lingering, speaking of her time spent in the great Oak that night. At some point she would need to find new ribbons as well, since hers were growing to nothing more than threads. There was also a hole that could be patched on her skirt and a few dirt streaks that should be washed out, but it wasn't unusual to see the wears after her travels.
The only thing of interest was her elegant necklace and, as she stood on display, she felt more out of sorts with the mash up of races and the countering elegance and commonness that was Tauriel Athelas.
Her confidence from early in the garden alcove was shattered, but she kept her walls in place to conceal her weakness.
"I might be different than what you expect of a King's Adviser." She started, unsure of her voice, "There are probably a lot of things you would prefer to change about me – like my hair or my untamed tongue or that I can speak Dwarvish just as easily as Elvish – but the truth is that there are quite a few things I would prefer to change about you and your fellow Lórien kin as well." Tauriel let her breathing settle before she continued, "You don't have to agree with my dress or beliefs, just like I don't have to agree with yours, but I expect you to respect them as I try to do yours."
"Do you really wish to speak of respect between Elves and Dwarves?" Haldir inquired, his tone curious instead of defensive. Years of heralding had taught him how to handle himself in high risk situations; like losing the little ground one had gained with a King's Adviser.
Tauriel gave a curt nod, "I do. Now, if you will excuse me." She inclined her head and turned without further word.
Haldir watched as the young she-elf left, his bemused eyes unable to look away. How one could be such a headache and yet hold such a powerful attraction was beyond the Silvan's understand.
Of course, Lord Celeborn already let him know, in his typical passive way, that he knew of Haldir's interest in the she-elf and, like wise, Haldir knew of her unwavering loyalty for the long deceased heir of Erebor. The entirety of Middle Earth knew of her undying love for him.
So why he had broken the trust of his Commanding Officer for an unattainable she-elf was still unknown to the seasoned Captain.
"What is it, Tauriel Athelas, which draws all to you?" Haldir questioned the still night. He smiled as he leaned back against the ruff bark of the tree, "What is it indeed."
XxX
No sleep would come to her, so she readied herself for the council meeting.
Once her agenda was in order, Tauriel took her time bathing and recreating her dwarven hairstyle. Instead of the tattered blue ribbons that had adorned her hair since she first set out, she pulled out a small purse of silver beads and strung them over the small braids she had crafted, which she tucked into her main plait that ran the course from the top of her head, down and over before meeting the beginning and cascading down freely. It was considered a style for festivals and was her belated homage to the celebrations for Durin's Day.
Defiantly she pulled back on her traveling close, having sown the hole and brushed off the loose dirt. Her knives went back into their place and she settled her quiver, with it's mismatched arrows, on her back before tugging on her hunting boots and leaving her quarters.
Unwilling to face Thranduil just yet, she stopped off by the stables to sneak Broom a sweet apple and share her thoughts.
A court messenger found her a while later, the same one she had met the previous day who was named Cainir, to escort her to the Hall. With each step Tauriel took, she found her trepidation growing fiercer.
Yesterday the idea of coming face to face with the king she had betrayed seemed viable, but the fact that she was going to be physically standing before him within the hour was terrifying.
Let me watch my tongue and not ruin Dale's chances for an alliance, she thought to herself, trying to steady her uneasy heart, Bain is counting on me. All of Dale and Erebor are.
Before she knew it, they were standing outside the Great Hall's doors and her words of encouragement were long forgotten.
"My lady, are you well?" Cainir asked, his soft jade eyes inquiring sincerely.
Tauriel gave a small, closed mouth smile to the elf, "Quite, has King Thranduil arrived?"
He replied with a cautious nod.
"Well, we best not keep him waiting long. He is not the most patient of elves." Tauriel's eyes lit up, remembering his sweet demeanor towards Legolas and herself when they were young and would constantly disrupt his council sessions. Thranduil would have already prepared two small chairs for them to occupy, once they were done running around and greeting everyone in the hall of course, before they themselves had even considered bursting into the throne room.
"Very well, my lady." Cainir bowed and stepped forward to let her into the Hall. Tauriel followed him obediently, making sure she stood as tall as she could when she past the threshold.
"Tauriel Athelas, Adviser to the King of Dale." The announcement echoed off the marble hall, her name reaching every corner even though it had been spoken softly.
Her heart raced, her vision grew blurry as she walked the length of the corridor to meet with those gathered. She had already been introduced to the Elder Council members the previous day, but she still felt put on display before strangers to assess.
She couldn't bring herself to look at the Mirkwood soldiers let alone their King just yet. Instead, she stopped before the Lord of Lothlórien and bowed her head in greeting, apologizing for her lateness.
Haldir stood to the side, taking in her simple appearance. He was torn between disappointment of her ignoring his council and amazement at how bold the she-elf was.
"King Thranduil." Celeborn said without replying to Tauriel's request for pardon, "Of course you know of Tauriel Athelas, Friend of Men and Daughter of Dwarves." The name was said with such vial that even the most arrogant among them felt put off.
His dismissal of her words was one thing, but the way in which he said her titles, as if baiting the king, was another to Tauriel. It took everything within her to keep the civility on her face and her tone even. Her anger towards the Lothlórien ruler helped her forget, for the time being, her uneasiness at coming face to face with her past.
"I was once familiar with Tauriel, but the titles are a new addition to my knowledge of the young she-elf." Thranduil inclined his head, turning his attention to the Silvan to see if anything else had changed.
A flush erupted across the young elven's face at the attention. She was so different from the girl she had been when she left Mirkwood but, like Lord Elrond had told her, the past made her who she was today. Though she looked not of the Woodland realm any more, she stilled owed part of her allegiance to the forest.
Shame draped over her, weighing her down as she turned to face the aged king. All she could think of was how sorry she was to have turned her back on the man who had raised her.
Lady Galadriel's words played through her thoughts; if she didn't release the pain, she would end up cut off from the world just as Thranduil had.
Tauriel flitted her gem eyes, which had been lingering on a banner hanging across the room, to the gathered group.
Final, she found her courage and met the dulling silver eyes of Thranduil, "Time changes people, just as it does places. Mirkwood use to be known as Greenwood the Great, but Time has taken its toll on the forest of my youth just as it has on me."
"So you do remember where you once came from." The words were dry, emotionless, but where everyone else just heard bitterness, Tauriel could feel the pain within them.
"I remember my time well, my lord. I am grateful for it, for it has made me who I am." She bowed her head, finding comfort in the gesture of respect.
Thranduil rose a silvering brow, taken back by her admission. His heart, that had been cut off from others and permanently walled off, started to warm as he remembered the beauty and innocence of the fiery haired elven that had grown up under his attentive care.
"Now that we are all gathered and properly introduced, shall we discuss the issues at hand?" Celeborn, who looked like someone had changed out his sweet wine for weak apple juice, wrinkled his nose and gestured to the table.
Tauriel gave a short nod, withholding the smirk that threatened to slip onto her petal lips, "We shall." She caught Haldir's eyes for a brief moment before moving to take her seat.
The discussion wasn't unlike those in Dale. Everyone came to the table with their own agenda, wants and demands. Tauriel kept her head but remained firm that Dale was in need of immediate help and that the spiders could wait.
The only thing that caught her off guard was King Thranduil's offer for quid pro quo: along with the troops Celeborn offered, which wasn't nearly enough to defend Dale's walls, he would send a third of his men if Dale would, in turn, come to his kingdom's defense after theirs was secured. Celeborn did not seem too pleased by the king's willingness to help the kingdom of Men over his own.
In the end, a decent medium was reached and everyone accepted the outcome, whether it was what they wanted or not.
"We shall send our company straight away." Celeborn announced and one of the runners rushed to let the Captains know. Celeborn turned to the group, still overlooking the sole she-elf in their midst, "We shall adjoin to the next room for our meal. Cainir?" He drawled, bored, "Will you take Tauriel Athelas and show her about the kingdom? I am sure she has had quite enough of men's talk and wishes to see something a bit more light."
No one missed the narrowing emerald eyes of the Silvan, particularly Haldir, who silently willed her to keep her head.
But before she could retort, her defense came from a very unlikely source, "I see no reason that the King's Adviser should be excluded from further talk." Thranduil stepped up, keeping himself as calm as ever, "She is quite capable of handling herself in high stress situations as any man is."
Tauriel was both shocked and beaming at his words.
Celeborn looked to the King, the two facing off as they would in battle. But diplomacy reigned here and there would be no drawing of swords but simple words.
"Very well." Celeborn conceded, noticing the king would not back down on his stance. Haldir exhaled the breath he had been holding.
Tauriel found herself comparing the two rulers before her, considering their strengths and weaknesses. The biggest teller between them was their eyes.
Where Celeborn's were a calculating and a hardened opal, his counterpart's were a shattered silver. Thranduil's told of his need to protect. Just as Tauriel had thought long ago of her inability to leave the weak behind, so now she found the same characteristic within her former ruler.
Tauriel looked away, not wanting to get caught in her observation, He is hurt and heartbroken. First at the loss of his beloved queen and now of his treasured son. He wants only to protect his people as a King should, as I do Dale, and will do anything to accomplish this. He was not ignoring the others of Middle Earth when he thought only of Mirkwood all those years ago, just as I am not passing over his kingdom now in favor of Dale. I was too quick to judge him; we are the same.
I see you have broken through his wall to see what he is truly made of, neth tinw, a second voice joined.
The young she-elf had half expected the Lady of Light to join her thoughts, even though she was not present, and smiled, I never thanked you for your wisdom and insight which you shared with me the other day, rhîs.
You are welcome, young one, the Lady replied, Now, what will you do with it?
A small smile lit at the corner of the she-elf's eye, "King Thranduil, I have a favor to ask of you." It was the first time she had directly spoken to him this morning, turned afternoon, and everyone was caught off guard by her peaceful voice.
"Very well." Thranduil rose a single brow, unsure of her words or her easy demeanor, "You may ask."
Tauriel held her head up but kept her air humble, "I wish to speak with you, privately, after your meal, if you do not mind, my lord."
"Will you not join us, Tauriel Athelas? You are, after all, the Adviser of the King and of course welcome." Thranduil inquired lightly, clearly stating her title for all to hear.
"I will have to excuse myself for now. I wish to tend to my mare; she has been cooped up far too long. If it is anything I have learned from my time among Men it is that the care of one's companion should be of the utmost importance and should not be left to simple stable boys." She smiled triumphantly, knowing the words would sting those around her. Elves were known for their care of horses, stating that Men took better care of theirs was a resounding blow that was sure to linger.
"You must be mistaken, for our stable hands are of the highest breeding and care for all of their charges equally." Celeborn pressed.
Tauriel boldly met his eyes, "As it is, I wish to attend to Broom myself. I trust the matter to no one else." She let her dark brows narrow ever so slightly, showing that her words had a hidden meaning.
Celeborn stiffened a sigh and inclined his head, "Very well."
"I will send someone to meet you at the stables once we have finished and then we may…talk." King Thranduil said evenly. Those who did not know him couldn't see the slight lightening of his eyes which revealed how much her simple request had meant, but Tauriel could.
With a final goodbye, Tauriel bowed and left before the group continued into the dining hall.
Once they were all seated and the meal had begun, wine flowed freely as did the conversation that followed.
"I am amazed that you were not more upset with your guard." One of the Elders commented as he drained his fifth glass.
King Thranduil, who, like Tauriel, rarely could stand the sweet wine of Lothlórien and preferred the ale of Men, respectful took in his words, "It has been over thirty years, she is no longer my guard and I am no longer her king. She is free to act as she wishes." Never before had the Sindar spoken those words aloud and the truth of them stuttered his heart.
His nín elen truly wasn't an Elf of Mirkwood anymore; she was an Elf of Dale and Erebor.
It was true that Legolas was his only living child, but, before the young prince had come, the queen had been pregnant and lost the child; a girl. Thranduil had longed for a child of their own for so long, a beautiful son or daughter made up half of each his wife and himself.
The loss had been detrimental to both of them. The birth of Legolas had brought a different sort of joy to the king's life, but not one that would fill his desire for a daughter or heal the scar left in his heart for his unborn child. He doubted the pain would ever ebb.
But, Eru Ilúvatar had other plans that took shape in the aftermath of a war with the Orcs that took not only the Queen's life but the lives of countless parents.
Tauriel had barley been old enough to understand what had happened to her Mum and Da when she was brought to his court. The guards, young and inexperienced, knew not what else to do with the babe but bring her to the king and seek his advice. Her naïve smile was still in place and her long waves of fire licked behind her as she skipped up to the ornate throne, not knowing the courtly manners, laughing.
Thranduil had looked to his guards, a single brow rosed in question as to why a small, disobedient she-elf had been brought before him as he was still covered in the blood of battle. His eyes had been so venomous at their interruption of his grief that one guard had stepped behind the other for protection.
Surly there was someone in the kingdom that would take her as a charge and leave the King to mourn his loss.
"Her parents fell in battle, she has no one and no one will take her because she is Silvan." Was the young warriors' only response. Thranduil looked towards his throne just in time to see the young she-elf climbing upon it and requesting that they bow before her.
Legolas, who was only seven at the time but knew better than to cross his father, had come out to see the young she-elf giggling with youth. His eyes were still scratched and red from the news of his fallen mother but the sight of the new friend stilled his aching heart for a while as he joined her. Tauriel would act as a balm for the heartbroken prince in the weeks to come.
Legolas and her had bounced around the room planning a game of tag. The beauty of innocence was enough to help even the adults forget their heartache for the time being.
What really stole the King's breaking heart was when the trusting she-elf held her arms out at the top of the tall, stone stairs, requesting that he himself catch her. He had tried to persuade her otherwise but she threw caution to the wind and let herself fall, a trait he would notice only grew stronger with age.
Of course, he had caught her and, right then, gave her the last few shards of his desolate heart.
In the present, another Elder's comment woke the King from the past, "She is more like the King's consort if you ask me, not even that. She is nothing but a courtesan passed down like an heirloom from father to son and willingly going along so she can continue to wear the jewels she wears now. What elf would go so low? I expected more, even from Silvan."
Thranduil could have unsheathed his sword and gutted the man right then, but he didn't, knowing that not only his kingdom but that of Dale rested on his actions.
"Maybe she seeks power for herself. She could be more intelligent than all of us believe, if that is the case. We would all look the part of a fool for thinking so little of her." Yet another chimed in as he toasted his glass.
Celeborn sat back, studying and waiting for the King to react. "What do you think, King Thranduil?" He said the title with mockery, just as he had Tauriel's.
Thranduil pushed aside his plate, not wishing to share in their company any longer, "I believe that Tauriel Athelas is a bright she-elf that has made a name for herself without the assistance of any man."
"Have you not heard of the rumors from Rivendell? Of how she greeted the King of Dale?" The Elder who had first spoke questioned.
Thranduil inclined his head, "I have not, but I need not concern myself with the affairs of others. Their life is theirs alone and I need not interfere."
"Surely you must have a theory."
His silver eyes sharpened as he met those of the lord, "I believe that Tauriel has only ever loved one man and one man alone holds her heart, but I do not believe him to be the one who sits on the throne of Dale."
One of the Elder's leaned in like a serpent, hungry for senseless stories, "Who would that be?"
"The fallen heir of Erebor, the third in line." Thranduil replied, forcing a drink of his goblet for something to do so he wouldn't reach for his sword, "Desiring wealthy and power goes against her nature. You have heard how she speaks for true alliance, how she judges with honor and seeks justice for all. You have been witness to how she holds her ground even though her back is unguarded. Yet, you continue to treat her no better than you would a servant. She has a will and strength most ruling men would be envious of." Thranduil inhaled and exhaled slowly, taking control of his anger, "Tauriel Athelas has her faults, to be sure, but to speak of her loyalty as a fleeting fancy or something to be bought is dishonoring not only to her, but to the Kingdoms of Dale, Erebor, the Iron Hills, Rivendell and Mirkwood and I wish to have no further part in it."
"Of course not, you have tasted her betrayal first hand." Celeborn dropped his head to the side, silently calling checkmate.
Thranduil narrowed his eyes, considering his next words, "Her very being wishes to help the weakest among us whether they are Dwarf, Hobbit, Man or Elf. No order from a superior will tell her otherwise. I do not consider that a severing of loyalty but an honoring of her true self." Gracefully and without upset, he stood, "I have appreciated your company and the meal we shared, but if you will excuse me, I have a private matter to discuss with Tauriel Athelas."
He turned and left without further delay, wishing to be as far away from the dishonoring Sindars as possible.
Once the doors were closed, an amused Celeborn turned back to his council, "My, my, it looks like King Bain is not the only one besotted by our little she-elf."
Haldir, unable to be part of the dishonoring attack any longer, excused himself to check on his guards and left with a bitter taste in his mouth.
XxX
After a small meal of their own, Tauriel leaned against Broom's strong neck, braiding her soft mane, "It really didn't go as bad as I thought. Thranduil was quite civil, kind even. He stood up for me before Celeborn and he offered his men as defense for Dale's walls."
Broom pulled out some hay from her trough, which Tauriel took as a reply.
"I know, I never would have expected it either, but it happened." She rested her head against the velvet charcoal pelt, "I asked him to talk, I'm going to apologize for hurting him all those years ago. It seems silly but I think I need too." In response, Broom moved to her basin of water.
"Everyone keeps telling me to let go of the pain and I think asking for his forgiveness will help me with that. It…it will help me forgive myself for what I have done." She drew her fingers down the smooth hair of her mare as she sighed, "I'm not even sure if that makes any sense at all but I need to right my wrong. I didn't use to think of it as a wrong but now it seems to be the only thing I can think of." She smiled, relishing the stillness of the stable.
"Tauriel Athelas?"
She huffed, dropping her head against the mare. Every time she found peace and solitude he was just bound to show up.
For half a second she considered diving into Broom's hay to conceal herself, but she knew better, "I am here, Haldir." Tauriel replied, begrudgingly. Broom gave her what looked to be a smug eye and Tauriel tsked her.
The pristine elf appeared a second latter, his eyes that of a messenger, "King Thranduil has finished and wishes to take a ride with you outside of Lórien."
Tauriel nodded, moving to gather Broom's saddle, "That seems acceptable, it is a temperate day."
Haldir started to help but stopped himself and stepped back, knowing better than to assume she needed his assistance.
The she-elf half smiled, "Will you grab Broom's bridle?" She gave him the small, menial task knowing it would mean the world to him. After all, an attempt of civility was the least she could do after his forewarning.
"I am glad you have come to a suitable agreement with Lord Celeborn and King Thranduil, it seems that Dale will be well protected when the goblins attack." Haldir said as he tucked the bridle over the still eating horse.
"Indeed." Tauriel finished tightening the last strap and swung herself atop the smooth, rich leather.
Haldir handed her the reins, "You handled yourself quite well today, better than most King's Advisers I have seen."
"Thank you." She replied, settling into her seat. Broom started to tread the ground as Haldir opened the gate. Before the mare could get too far ahead, Tauriel stopped her, "Will your company be headed to Dale?" She tossed the question over her shoulder as if it meant nothing.
"Yes, we will." Haldir gave a solid nod of his head, "We leave the day after next."
Tauriel smiled, finding herself creating a truce of acquaintanceship with the fellow Silvan and guard, "I look forward to seeing how you handle yourself in battle." With that, she turned her mare's head and the two trotted out of the stable leaving a very please Lothlórien elf in their wake.
XxX
Thranduil sat tall atop his regal elk, one sired from the stag who he had taken into the Battle of Five Armies, as he waited outside the gates of Lothlórien. Typically the ruler of Mirkwood wasn't a patient man, but for Tauriel he would make an acceptation, especially since it was her that had instigated the meeting.
His ears perked up when he heard the familiar steps of a mare and he turned to catch sight of Tauriel ridding atop her companion.
"Greetings, my lord. I hope this evening finds you well." Tauriel greeted cordially with a respectful bow of her head.
"It does. Though, discussions ran quite a while past what I had thought they would. The stars are nearly out." He made the passing comment as he tried to look up through the thick forest, "At least, I would assume they almost are."
Tauriel let a rare smile fall on her lips, amazed at how easy it came with her present company. The youthful energy which seized her and lightened her mood was unexpected but not unwelcomed, "We can always seek them out. After all, elves should never be cut off from starlight."
Thranduil inclined his head, seeing past the surface of her words, "Indeed, they shouldn't."
"Shall we ride?" She asked, having to restrain Broom from taking off without being told too. The mare was still young enough to desire speed.
"We shall."
Their pace started slow as they treaded the unknown ground, but, as it grew smoother, the steads grew restless and took it upon themselves to quicken their pace.
Without thinking Tauriel loosened the reigns so Broom could run and let her head fall back, laughing as her fiery hair flew out behind her. Thranduil found himself smiling, his eyes seeing the innocent child he once knew.
They finally broke out of the dark forest and into the setting day. Tauriel led Broom around the perimeter before coming back to stop before Thranduil.
"I don't remember the last time I went for a ride like that!" She smiled, forgetting every manner Thranduil had spent years teaching her.
Thranduil couldn't care less that his titles were dropped; he had his elen back and he wouldn't chance losing her again for anything.
Tauriel, however, seemed to remember herself then and settled her behavior.
"It is a lovely evening. It reminds me of how the Greenwood used to be before the shadow forced us north." Thranduil continued, wishing to continue the easy feel between them.
Tauriel looked out over the crest of the mountains, "Truly, my lord." Her soft eyes wandered to his tall silhouette, "Pardon my forwardness, but you seem…different, my lord."
A sorrowful glint grew in the old king's eyes, "I have been forced apart from all those I care for and left on my own, there is not much to do when one is alone but look at what brought them to the place within which they find themselves." His attention lingered on the dying day as it awaited the dawn of the next, "I discovered that I was the one at fault and began to search for that which l lost long ago to right my wrongs."
The she-elf's heart began to race, finding yet another tie she had with her king, "What would that be, my lord?" She asked quietly.
He sighed, his shoulders falling forward as he looked out to the horizon. Thranduil's broken silver eyes wandered to hers, which were just as pained, "You know what it is like to lose your heart."
Tauriel gave a solemn nod, not trusting her voice.
"When I saw you kneeling over the dwarf's—over Kili's body, I was reminded of when I had found my wife, fallen in battle." Thranduil's voice shook and the honesty with which he kept her company made the elven nervous. Legolas said his father never spoke of his mother, so why would Thranduil chose to talk to her about the subject?
"I told you it was real." He lifted his head, letting the wind push against him, "I meant what I said, Tauriel." Thranduil looked to her, his regal demeanor returning, "As Captain, though, you were wrong to abandon your post and your company. A guard looks out for their fellow soldiers first."
Tauriel bowed her head, accepting the lecture but not willing to remain silent, "I am truly sorry for how I left and dishonored you before your men during the war, but I will not apologize for doing what is right."
"As always, Tauriel, you interrupt before another has finished saying what they have to say." Thranduil chastised lightly, a rare softness turning at his lips.
Tauriel winced, not catching his smile, and nodded for him to continue.
"Thought it was brought about by the wrong means, ultimately, what you did was honoring to your people. You righted all the wrongs I had done my kingdom by hiding away. Your actions have had a ripple effect that continues to touch all those in Middle earth, ties are being forged that will unite our races against the true evil that is to come. You need to stay strong, Tauriel, and hold to what you know is right for others are trying to break you." Thranduil finished, an unspoken softness in his eyes, "I am done, now you may speak."
Tauriel's brow knitted, "What do you mean people are trying to break me?"
"Lothlórien, though beautiful and powerful, is not as understanding as Rivendell, or even Mirkwood for that matter." Thranduil stirred his elk to lay down so he could dismount, Tauriel followed suite, "Apparently, the characteristics of greeting that you have learned living in Dale and that have influenced the ones you were taught are not well received. I am not aware of what took place, but the council clearly holds the view that there is something romantic between you and the young king."
Tauriel turned away to conceal her face that had instantly colored, "T-that happened in Rivendell and—and is nothing of their concern. It hurts no one and should not affect elves as far away as Lórien."
"I would agree, but if you wish to protect Dale then your best chances for securing an alliance are to not upset the council. Give them no reason to distrust you and do not burn bridges, surely you know this as a King's Adviser." Thranduil stated evenly.
"I am getting quite tired of people telling me what to do as if I were a child." She seethed, storming towards one of the tall trees of the forest edge. Like a loving father, Thranduil followed patiently after her.
Her anger grew within her and spilled out in a loud huff, an almost yell of frustration to the night.
"I'm done with those bigoted orcs! Ish kakhfê ai'd dur-rugnul!" She finally snapped like a child, unable to hold anything in any longer. Without thinking, she started to climb the tree, needing an outlet.
"I see the Dwarves have taught you Khuzdul, such lovely words for a King's Adviser to speak aloud." Thranduil replied dryly, letting his disgusted be known with a sigh, "And, truly, Tauriel, you are 633, and will be 634 by the next full moon. Climbing trees and displaying the new words that you have learned might have worked as a child but not as an adult." Thranduil called after her halfheartedly, knowing it was no use, "I have no idea why they would still treat you as a child when you are so perfectly even headed in situations such as these." He jested.
Tauriel narrowed her eyes, refusing to accept his mockery, "And what changed you so? A heart that was once as cold as yours does not thaw overnight." She let herself slip a bit so she could look down on him, keeping the protective distance she did with everyone she had come to care for, "You have not been this kind to me since I was a child. Why now?"
Thranduil gave a light roll of his eyes, keeping his stance regal as he ignored her acidic words, "I believe I have already shared why, child."
"Then what did you lose?" She seethed, her chest raising and falling rabidly. Her anger finally reached its peak and she found herself turning exhausted, her will releasing its hold of ire and returning to her brokenness.
"Tell me, so I can find it too." Tauriel whispered quietly to herself. So many people have advised her and told her what she needed but she couldn't help but push aside their words in favor of clinging to her familiar pain.
"If you come down, I will tell you." He tried bargaining.
She swung herself up and perched on the branch, her arms crossed defiantly.
"At least come down before you hurt yourself." Thranduil called, falling back into an old role he thought he had given up.
He had used to do everything in his power to keep the innocence of the she-elf, who had lost everything at such a young age, intact. When she had started to grow and saw the shadow that was taking over her home, a darkness of her own crafting descended upon her and severed her from those she loved. Terror filled her at the thought of growing too attached to those around her only for them to be lost and she wanted to take the control into her own hands, so she began to wall herself off.
No one of Mirkwood seemed to notice that as Tauriel grew distant, so to had their King. He kept her at a distance as he did Legolas, refusing to giving into his love and affection for his children and preferring to focus his energy on keeping them safe from harm so that they could see tomorrow. He had forgotten that a life well protected was nothing without a life well lived.
Of course he was still concerned with their protection and well-being even after he had let them go that day long ago, which was why he would write yearly to King Bard and Lord Elrond to inquire after his young elvens. The king asked them to keep their correspondence quiet, knowing Tauriel and Legolas had to find their own way through life and he had to let them.
It had been years, though, since he worried about her climbing trees. Yet the same fear for her safely came back as if she were but a babe again.
Tauriel leaned back on the branch, her rebellion shining through, "I won't fall."
"You don't know that." Thranduil called back.
The years faded and Tauriel was reminded of her youth, her unfading trust of the king took hold of her heart and she felt like a child again, "If I fall, I know you will catch me."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I—I'm not sure." Tauriel was brought back to the present, shocked by her own revelation, and she started to climb down silently. With her thoughts occupied, she relied too much on her sharp abilities to get her down without problem. Her aged hunting boot caught on one of the loose pieces of the tree bark and broke it, causing her to slip. She gave a small call of surprise as she skidded across the great trunk.
Already anticipating her fall, Thranduil reached out and helped steady her instantly.
Tauriel settled her feet on the ground, trying to calm her nervous breaths, which stemmed more from her worried thoughts than her fall.
"See, I knew you would catch me." Her sheepish smile was enough to steal the breath from any man, whatever race he may be.
The world started to close in around her once more and she threw caution to the wind, tossed herself into his arms in search of protection. Thranduil tensed at the unexpected contact but relaxed into her childish love, wrapping his arms protectively around her like a father would.
She buried her head into his strong shoulder, "I love you, ada." Rarely has she spoken such intimate words to the king, even as a child, but she couldn't think of any other way to relate how much he meant to her and how sorry she was.
Emotion caught in the old king's throat at the words, they were better than any apology could be, "I love you too, nín elen." He whispered back, smoothing her hair.
Tauriel breathing in his once familiar scent that still brought her comfort and she clung to him faster, "Are you proud of me?"
The question caught both of them off guard; Tauriel for having let the words escape her thoughts and Thranduil for the sheer need she had for his affirmation.
"Of course, Tauriel." He answered softly, "I couldn't be more proud of who you have become." Thranduil pulled back to find tears spilling from her beautiful eyes. He brought his thumb up and dried them, "What an amazing woman I see before my eyes. I am so proud of you, nín elen. So very proud." She just forced her way back into his protective arms and let the sobs overtake her body.
"I let him die, ada, I let myself get distracted and…and he would still be here if I didn't…"
"Shh, child, it's alright. It wasn't your fault."
Tauriel shook her head, unable to carry the burden any longer, "Y-yes it was. If I—if I had been paying attention he wouldn't…wouldn't…"
"Tauriel," He pulled back gently, brushing back the tresses that had escaped her plait, "Kili was not required to come to your rescue, he chose to because of his love for you. You need not feel guilty over that."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…so very sorry…" She cried, clinging to him and looking out to the stars. Who she was apologizing to, whether it was Thranduil, the stars, or Kili, was uncertain, but with those simple words, she felt more relief than she had in years.
Unable to sooth her aching heart, her ada quietly held her. He was unable to heal the demons within but he would do everything to protect her from the outer ones.
Another step was taken that night to healing and, just like her last night before venturing into Lothlórien, as the sun set she felt the pain ease even further away. Part of her wanted to reach out for it once more, afraid it would take Kili with it, but she held strong and kept company with the good memories alone.
"We…we should get back." Tauriel pulled back, rubbing her scratchy eyes as he tears settled. Thranduil nodded, but kept his words to himself.
As they mounted their steads, they settled into an easy pace as the unspoken forgiveness, for both of their wrongs done to the other, protected them from the shadows surrounding them.
XxX
Night was thick as they entered the kingdom once more. Choosing to tend to their companions themselves, they walked back to the stables.
"Will you return with us to Dale?" Thranduil inquired, unbridling his elk.
Tauriel worried her lower lip and shook her head as she smoothed Broom's mane, "No, I will go to Rivendell." Broom nuzzled her, trying to bring her comfort.
Thranduil let his eyes linger on her, unwilling to force the issue but curious just the same.
"I—I am not allowed home yet." She replied, forcing back the bitter tears as the hurt shattered her voice, "Once I bring my report to Lord Elrond, I will decided where I will go from there."
"If you are not free to travel to Dale and Erebor just yet, you are always welcomed in Mirkwood. Of course it has changed even in the short time that you have been gone, but our doors will always be open to you."
Tauriel's eyes lit up as she continued her ministrations to Broom, "I would like that." Her smile only grew and she leaned her head against her companion's strong neck, knowing she had fretted today for no reason, "I would like that a lot."
And, for the second time that day, another piece of her heart found its way back and joined with the others. Of course the piece didn't fit perfectly, as it once had, but it had returned and her soul felt more at peace than it originally had.
XxX
A/N ~ I strive to write stories with heart and themes that really touch others' lives so this chapter I dedicate to those of us who never got to know the love of a true father, never got to feel the affirmation, support and protection that the role was placed in our lives for. Something I have to constantly work for is forgiving the hurt that was left in my life because my father never stepped up and I want to encourage any of you who, like me, were crushed by the one man in your life who was supposed to be a constant source of love. Forgiveness isn't just for the other person; it's for our healing as well. To those of you who have an amazing father, take the time to tell him how much you love him. Never take the time we have for granted.
Blessings to you and yours ~
XxX