"You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time Dumbo"

Sam's heart was pounding in his chest. A ringing running through his head. Ruby was standing in front of him, her eyes sparkling with joy. The ground below them rumbling as hell cracked open.

Guilt overwhelmed Sam as he heard the familiar footsteps of his brother approaching the door. How could he let Dean see what he had done? How could Dean ever forgive him? Maybe his father was right, maybe Dean should have killed him.

But Ruby. Who was standing right there, who, with genuine hope in her eyes spoke to Sam as if they had won something. Ruby who he could always be himself with. Who he felt strong with and safe. Ruby who had lied to him and betrayed him. A demon that Dean would kill as soon as he opened the door.

Sam stood up, grabbed Ruby by the arms as the doors swang open to reveal his brother, and he held her tight as Dean approached with the sharp blade. But before it reached her Sam jumped in front of her.

"What are you doing? She lied to you. She's summoned Lucifer."

"She...she might be our only hope in sending him back to hell. She has information we don't have"

Dean frowned, Sam wasn't even sure he was buying what he was saying. But before they could even begin to consider an interrogation, black smoke erupted from Ruby's mouth, leaving her vessel unconscious on the floor, as the world continued to tear itself apart around the Winchester boys.

Not long after a man named Nick Battista awoke to the sight of an angel at the foot of his bed.

"My name is Lucifer. And you are my vessel...I am not a bad guy, I am a son cast out by my father simply for disagreeing with him. My family, I loved them, and they disregarded me like I was nothing, acted as if I was...well...the devil...all for daring to have thoughts of my own."

Sam woke up, the images of Lucifer speaking to the unnamed man flashing through his mind still from his dream. His head pounding and eyes blurry he knew this wasn't just a nightmare. He knew this feeling, he had felt it before with Azazeal.

He looked over across the dark motel room to where Dean lay quietly sleeping, his mind likely unplagued by visions of demons or the devil himself. He turned quickly over, an innate reaction to the creeping feelings of dread, of guilt, of shame for what it all could mean - but also because of one particular stand out feeling Sam could feel drilling a hole in his stomach and seering through his bloodstream. The feeling of sympathy for the devil.

He got up and headed to the bathroom, avoiding bumping into anything in the pitch dark, he navigated the room by memory. Splashing water on his face to calm down and try to scrub the visions from his eyes, Sam looked at himself in the small shaving mirror.

There's no way he could tell Dean about this dream. About this vision. Even if there was anything they could do about this Nick guy to help him, he just couldn't face telling Dean he had a psychic connection to Lucifer. Dean already didn't trust him, not after everything with Ruby, especially after he had stopped Dean from killing her, especially after she got away.

Sam returned to the room, the light from the bathroom shone into the room as he left it, illuminating the empty bed where he had thought Dean to be laying this whole time. He was close to calling him when the roar of the impala engine filled the street outside and the beaming headlights filled the motel room with light. Sam quickly laid down in his own bed and pretended to be asleep.

By morning Sam's headache had dissipated but the lingering fear and dread sat in the pit of his stomach. He lurched out of bed, avoiding eye contact with Dean as they got ready for the day's hunt.

/

It should have occurred to him earlier, Sam had thought, that there were no demons at all, that it was all a symptom of War. But for a moment there, after killing those boys, after staring at the blood dripping from the knife, after everything he'd done the year before, Sam feared the Holy water would burn him. Feared he was what Jo and Rufus thought he was. And that worse, he wasn't possessed, he was actually, truly, deep down, a demon. His psychic connection to Lucifer didn't help, and the shake of his hand, and jitter in his stomach that urged him to find Ruby again, to drink demon blood again, weren't helping his case.

But it turned out okay. It turned out he wasn't a demon, the Holy water didn't burn and the blame was all on a Horseman. But still, as they returned to their motel room, Sam couldn't shake the thoughts.

Perhaps it was something he did, or perhaps this burden of guilt was running off him like water and leaving puddles behind him as he walked, but Dean had been silently looking at Sam in a way that bothered him all day. It wasn't until they got back to the motel room that he found out why.

"Did you let Ruby go on purpose?" He said, unprompted as Sam brushed his teeth.

"What? No. I didn't know she was gonna-"

"You didn't let me kill her. After last year how can I be sure."

"I thought she was helping us I didn't know...I just thought we could use her, torture her into telling us how to defeat Lucifer. I figured killing her wasn't the smartest move...I just...didn't think she'd smoke out of there."

"Right. Well, if its not that then its something. I know you have secrets. I know there's something going on with you"

"You're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean replied, his voice more gravelly than usual. A defence mechanism Sam had seen used often throughout the years.

"You know." Sam replied.

"Whatever. Let's just drop it." Dean said. "I'm going for a drive." He walked out without another word.

With Dean gone the motel room felt claustrophobic, the walls felt like they were closing in on him, reminding him of the dream he had had only 24 hours earlier.

He slipped his laptop into his bag and decided to get started on some research in a diner, somewhere he could drink crappy coffee all night and be bothered by no one. Unfortunately, it being his life, being bothered by no one seemed far too much to ask.

It wasn't long before Sam realised that the staff in the diner were demons. He could practically smell them.

A tall blond waiter slipped into his booth and shut his laptop, flashing his black eyes at Sam as he did. Sam immediately reached for the knife.

"Don't bother" The demon smiled, placing the knife on the table in front of him. "You ought to get some sleep, you're getting sloppy." He grinned.

"What do you want?" Sam retorted.

The demon chuckled. "Preferably we would love if you hadn't opened that damn cage, but here we are. So now, we just want you dead. Lucifer is coming, because of you."

"Shouldn't that make you happy? Isn't he your king?"

"Most of us are pretty afraid, actually. We haven't exactly been the most loyal children, I'm sure you can relate."

"So what, you're gonna kill me? How does that help anyone?"

"It doesn't really, but it will be fun" The other customers had all started to surround him, their eyes all black.

Sam was surprised at how easily he managed to take out such a large group of demons on his own. But as he stood above their bodies, bleeding out on the floor, watching the blood drip from his knife, he recognised the motivational power of hunger. His hands shaking he ran his finger through the blood, placing it gently against his tongue. Ecstasy ran through his veins and he felt a power within his bones he had been yearning for, for months

"I knew you couldn't resist." The door swang open, creaking as it did. The light from the street lamp outside illuminating the figure as she climbed over the piled bodies on the diner floor.

"Ruby." Sam said.

"I thought I'd dangle a carrot, see if you bite."

"What's to stop me from killing you right now?" Sam snarled, raising the knife to her throat.

"You wouldn't do that." Ruby spoke gently. "Because I know you Sam. I know what you're thinking. I know you're wondering if I'm right."

Although he'd repeatedly told Dean and himself that he had only let Ruby live in hopes she'd be helpful in stopping Lucifer, deep down he knew that wasn't why. He knew he felt it when she explained to him why she had lied, why she did it. He felt… like she could be right. Like maybe this black and white demons are bad angels are good and Lucifer is inherently evil thinking wasn't the gospel their father had told them. After all, if it were as black and white as that Dean should have killed Sam long ago. He was just as much a monster as anything else they'd hunt. And so, he let her go, let her escape.

Sam sighed, lowering the knife. "You poisoned me. You turned me into this."

"And its beautiful" Ruby ran her hand through his hair.

"I'm a monster." Sam said wiping blood from his mouth.

"And why is that so bad." Ruby smiled, running her hand across his jaw. Sam grabbed her hand, pulling her closer he grabbed the back of her neck, and leant in. They kissed passionately, under the flickering light of the run down diner, surrounded by bodies, blood lining the bottom of their shoes.