A/N: Hey y'all! It's been a while, hope you've been well! This story has been sitting on my brain for a hot minute, so I thought I'd finally get it out. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nor do I support the author's transphobic views.
Song suggestion: Arcade by Duncan Laurence
All That's Left
Sirius Black stared in horror at the remains of James and Lily Potter's house. It looked as though a bomb had gone off, exposing the interior to the chill of that October night. His motorcycle was idling on the street corner, the only sound to be heard besides the screaming of a terrified toddler.
He ached to go in and comfort Harry, but he found that he couldn't bring himself to get any closer to the house. Even though he hadn't seen the damage yet, he knew what he would be walking into. And he wasn't ready.
He watched as the groundskeeper of Hogwarts, Hagrid, did what he couldn't, entering the wreckage with a purposeful stride, stepping over the threshold and into the murder scene that was Lily and James Potter. Sirius' heart was heavy, and he knew when Harry had been found and comforted, because the screaming died down.
Eventually Hagrid exited the house, closing the door behind him, not that it made a difference. Harry made occasional hiccupping noises as his heaving sobs finally allowed for breathing. Sirius must have made a noise of his own, because Hagrid turned suddenly and noticed him.
"Sirius, we want you to be Harry's godfather," Lily said groggily as she looked down at her dark haired son in wonder and awe. Sirius looked up, shock clearly read on his face.
"You want me to…" he whispered, dropping his eyes to the squirming bundle of blankets in Lily's arms. He cleared his throat, "I'd be honored."
James clapped an arm on Sirius' shoulder, pulling him into a tight hug, and looked at his son with pride written on his face. "You're the only one we both trust with him, Padfoot, though, full disclosure, if you had said no, we were going to ask Moony."
Sirius held his arms out so that Lily could give him Harry. As he stared down into the green eyes of his godson, Sirius knew that he was lost. This kid was going to be so loved. And he was the reason that Sirius was going to fight like hell to end this war.
Hagrid's kind eyes were almost Sirius' undoing. He shifted slightly, and looked away, his eyes arrested by the sight of his godson wrapped in blankets in Hagrid's arms, his tear-streaked face in view. Harry's green eyes had never been more prominent than in that moment, when before all Sirius had ever noticed was how like James he was. Harry was truly the best of both James and Lily. And it was an oddly comforting thought.
"Hagrid, I'm Harry's godfather, let me take him," Sirius croaked eventually, blinking against the tears that stung and threatened to fall, and not wanting to take his eyes off of that bundle of blankets for a second. He'd already failed in protecting James and Lily. Could he live with himself if he put Harry in danger again?
"Sorry, Sirius, Dumbledore asked me to take 'im, and I won' go 'gainst Dumbledore," Hagrid said gruffly, eyes bright with his own unshed tears. They went back and forth a bit more before Sirius finally gave in, as it was pointless to argue with Dumbledore's orders.
"If you won't let me take him, then at least take my bike, I'm not going to need it," he offered, feeling a brief wrench at giving over his only true possession, but knowing that it was for the best, considering what he knew he needed to do. Hagrid thanked him, climbed on and kicked up the stand. The motorcycle started up and Sirius watched in grief as Hagrid took off, with baby Harry nestled comfortably in his arms.
Eventually, after the lights from the bike had vanished from view, Sirius wiped his unshed tears away, and steeled himself to do what he needed to. He needed to find Wormtail and end this. But before he left, he found himself glancing at the closed door of the house, needing to know, needing to see for himself.
Harry's first year of life was riddled with laughter, fun, and yes, tragedy. The war was still raging, and so many lives were lost. The Potters had already been targeted a few times, though nothing seemed to have come of it yet. Dumbledore was still concerned however.
He called a meeting with James and Lily, Remus, Peter, and Sirius to inform them that he thought it would be prudent that they go into hiding. He also suggested that they use the Fidelius Charm, as it was the simplest way to protect each other.
"I truly believe that this is the best solution, given what we know," he stated, looking at each person in turn, and lingering on the Potters and Sirius especially. "Cast the Fidelius Charm. Stay secret. Stay safe."
Afterward, Lily leaned in and attempted a joke, saying that they'd been going to so many meetings lately, she felt like she was back at Hogwarts, attempting to keep the students in line. Sirius was the only one who laughed.
Sirius felt a strong desire to see James again. He knew it was probably the worst thing he could do, to himself and to the memory that he had of his brother, but he couldn't leave without knowing. He had a brief moment of indecision as he stood near the street. Could he really handle seeing his friend's lifeless body?
He breathed in for a second and then walked to the front door, which Hagrid had closed as he'd walked out. He stared at his trembling hand for a second, debating. Mind finally made up, he opened the door and walked in, crying out at the sight of James lying in the hallway. Dropping to his knees, he held James in his arms and sobbed over the body of his best friend and brother, feeling his grief fully for the first time that evening.
He was lost in sorrow as it flooded over him. If anyone had come in, he would have been a target. He didn't care. Sirius was conscious only of his broken heart, his life empty of any meaning. And time was just as meaningless, as he continued to cling to his brother's body blindly, sobbing, knowing that James was never coming back. His only consolation in all of this was that Harry had lived and was safe.
Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and James discussed the next steps, working out logistics, figuring out who was going to cast the charm, how the charm was cast in the first place, and finally, who would be the Secret-Keeper. This decision, when it was finally made, surprised no one.
Sirius agreed initially, honored to be asked, but as he thought things through, he started to question the logic behind it. Obviously he'd rather die than divulge the Potters' location, and James knew this, but wasn't that what the enemy wanted?
Three days before the charm was set to be cast, Dumbledore received intel that suggested for certain that whoever had been leaking valuable information was within the Potters' inner circle. When he learned that the Potters had tapped Sirius to be their Secret-Keeper, he balked.
"Let me be Secret-Keeper instead," Dumbledore offered. James and Lily shook their heads.
"Sirius is going into hiding himself, there's nothing to be concerned about," James informed him, "Besides, I trust Sirius with my life, Sir."
While waiting for the crowd that had begun forming around Lily and James' house to thin, Sirius had given some thought regarding what he knew, and wondered who he could trust with that knowledge. By now, Dumbledore knew that Lily and James were dead. If Sirius went to him directly with his suspicions, would Dumbledore even believe him? Everyone thought he was the Secret-Keeper after all...
When he returned to Pettigrew's last known location eventually, having decided to just Apparate from inside the remains of the Potters' house, Sirius instantly knew something was off. When he'd checked initially, the place had simply looked empty and trashed, as though a fight had occurred. Now that he had had an opportunity to think, though, and really look around, the place looked almost staged.
This detail set Sirius off, and he flew into a rage, throwing Pettigrew's property around, in an attempt to release some of his pent-up frustration with the situation. As a chair flew across the room, a sudden squeak stopped Sirius in his tracks. He looked towards the source of the sound, and was just in time to see a tiny rat disappearing outside.
"Oh no you don't," Sirius growled, following the rat out of hiding and into the street, where several Muggles were milling around, chatting unconcernedly with each other. Sirius blinked at the sunlight striking his face; he'd apparently lost track of the time as he wrecked Wormtail's hideout. Against the glare of the sun, he attempted to find Wormtail, thinking all the while that Pettigrew had truly lived up to the animagus they all knew. That betrayal stung and left a bad taste in Sirius' mouth.
Abruptly Pettigrew popped out of the lip of the alley behind Sirius, where he'd clearly gone to change. "Lily and James, Sirius! You told him where they were!" he said shrilly, "They trusted you and you betrayed them!"
As he shouted, Sirius could see that he was holding his bloody hand. Peter had cut off his own finger and was now throwing it in the air while pointing his wand at the crowd. The street below them exploded in a cloud of black dust and debris. Before he could react Sirius was knocked to the ground. The last he saw of Peter Pettigrew was his figure shrinking into a rat, leaving nothing but his bloody clothes and a single finger behind.
"But Sirius, we want you to be our Secret-Keeper," James said, resting his hands on Lily's waist as she leaned against him, both with grim looks on their faces.
"Do you really think that'll be enough?" Sirius croaked, looking from their faces to his hands, "Because you know that he'll expect it to be me."
"You're the only one besides Dumbledore that we trust, Sirius," Lily stated simply. "We've talked it over, together and with Dumbledore, and it's the only possible solution."
"Why not ask Wormtail, he's perfectly capable of protecting this secret," Sirius asked, trying to hide the sound of desperation in his voice.
Lily and James both looked at each other in consideration of Sirius' suggestion, and when they nodded in agreement, he felt the tight band in his chest loosen for the first time since he'd been asked. They would survive this war, he knew this for certain. Wormtail was the best possible solution. No one would suspect him. Everyone would be looking for Sirius.
And they would underestimate Pettigrew. They always did.
As the pandemonium of Pettigrew's disappearance continued around Sirius, all he could do was laugh hysterically. Pettigrew really knew how to devise a quick getaway, but then again, he'd been a part of the Marauders, so that was definitely to be expected. He was still laughing when the Aurors arrived on the scene to clean up the mess that Pettigrew had left behind.
Even years after the event, Sirius would look back on it with rage and hysteria. When he was sent to Azkaban without a trial, he held onto the thought that he was innocent. It didn't alleviate the guilt he felt surrounding the horrific murders of his brother and friend, but it helped him to remain sane through the grief.
Twelve years later, as the Minister of Magic came through for his inspection, Sirius asked for his newspaper, intent on staying up to date on the world outside of Azkaban, and just as intent to find any news of Pettigrew, even though he knew that the wizarding world believed Pettigrew to be dead.
"He's at Hogwarts, he's at Hogwarts."
He looked closely at the image on the front page of the Prophet, noting the rat sitting on the shoulder of one of the red-haired boys, and recognizing Pettigrew despite his disguise. This confirmation was all he needed: it was time. He needed to get to Pettigrew and end things once and for all; twelve years was too long to be allowed to take another breath, especially when Pettigrew was in the perfect position to strike if he heard even a whisper. Sirius would never live with himself if anything happened to Harry.
"He's at Hogwarts, he's at Hogwarts."
With that singular thought in mind, Sirius took advantage of his animagus form, slipped through the bars of his cell as dinner was being served one night, and escaped. He needed to get to Harry, make sure that he was safe. He wanted to see his godson before he headed to Hogwarts and his last chance to get Pettigrew. If only from a distance.
"He's at Hogwarts, he's at Hogwarts."
Wormtail looked both terrified and excited for the task that they'd given him, saying over and over that they were right to trust him, and that he would protect them with his life. Sirius watched this with a troubled look on his face, knowing how much rested on Wormtail's shoulders, but truly believing that Wormtail was the best person for the task.
His only thought was that he was definitely going to check on Wormtail before going into hiding. Too much rested on this for him to truly rest before disappearing.
The Fidelius Charm was cast, and Pettigrew was given the task of protecting the Potters with his life. No one besides the Potters and Sirius knew that this decision had been made at the last minute.
A week later, James and Lily were murdered, Harry was delivered to his aunt and uncle, and Sirius was sent to Azkaban for a crime he never committed. All because of a single decision which had been made by someone all three of them believed to be a friend.
Halloween 1981 became known by the entire Wizarding World as the day He-Who-Must-Not-Be -Named fell, and all because of the Boy Who Lived.