After a long day of working his way through endless stacks of paperwork, the last thing Armin needed was an uncooperative lock to his living quarters.
He groaned, more out of pleading fatigue than out of frustration, as he fumbled around with the handle, pressing his key against the lock under every conceivable angle to just get some progress. It was already a hassle to unlock his door on a good day and the pitch-black night didn't improve the situation, but he wasn't in the proper mindset to accept another hurdle thrown his way without an onslaught of internal complaints. He needed food, he needed relaxation, and most of all, he needed attention, and if he wanted to be back on schedule the next day, he'd just about have the time to get one of those before he collapsed in bed. He didn't need to waste his precious time on a stubborn lock.
Hange had kept Armin in the office late, asking him for assistance with a whole load of administration they couldn't finish in time alone. Why they hadn't asked Jean, Mikasa, or anyone else just as capable to help them out as well was beyond him, but he ended up spending the entire afternoon and evening stuck inside an office room with them and was offered barely a complete meal to grace his stomach.
Worst of all, today was one of the rare days where he had managed to get all the paperwork in order for Bertholdt to stay over at Armin's place, extending the shifter's right to visit until the next morning. Armin's initial plan was to just take the day off, but he'd been asked to come in anyway. He had picked Bertholdt up in the morning to spend a few hours together before he had to leave to the Survey Corps' headquarters, and he'd planned to make use of the shifter's extended stay in full by cutting his day short and going home at noon. That was before Hange decided his early dismissal meant he had extra time on his hands and they put him to work.
What a pain. Bertholdt would've definitely gone to bed already instead of waiting for Armin to come home so late into the night, disappointed Armin had bailed on him without notice.
The key finally shot into the lock, giving Armin the push he needed to wrestle it further into the door until he could just about strain his wrist and fingers enough to turn it and push his way inside. He immediately closed the door behind him again and managed to jam his key inside on the first try to seal it behind him, letting out a sigh when he was finally off the streets.
Armin's living quarters weren't spacious. A small dining area, a basic kitchen, washing facilities, and a bedroom were all he needed when he spent most days out or on location, but compared to the Survey Corps' joint barracks — after the 104th's promotions they'd been given individual living spaces in the same building, but it still felt too public for Armin's liking — he appreciated the comfort of privacy. Privacy he'd intended to make use of this afternoon before Hange decided that he wasn't getting laid today. When he protested, Hange shot him down, reasoning that it would be interesting to see what Bertholdt would do given so much unsupervised freedom and that leaving him alone for so long was more beneficial than it was detrimental. How Armin had reached the end of the day without snarking at the commander, he didn't know.
Armin hung up his coat by the door and kicked off his boots and socks, seeing just enough to navigate his way around the small dining area thanks to the smouldering remains in the hearth and the single surviving lit candle on the table opposite to the door. Bertholdt must've lit it for when Armin came home, showing that the shifter had already gone to bed some time ago after accepting Armin wouldn't be there.
Dammit. Like his day couldn't get any worse.
Armin gently pushed open the door to the bedroom, feeling the cold air brush against his cheeks instantly, a shock compared to the warm living room. Armin usually kept the door open to heat up his bedroom for the night, but Bertholdt preferred to sleep in colder temperatures and Armin was willing to keep the door closed to accommodate, especially if Bertholdt compensated by hugging Armin closely. Now, late at night after a long day of work and failed plans to woo the shifter, it was nothing but unpleasant.
He poked his head inside and found Bertholdt under the covers, slow and steady breathing indicating he'd fallen asleep already. Dragging his feet back to the dining area, Armin slouched down onto a chair. Now what? Wake up Bertholdt after leaving him hanging for a whole day without so much as a word? Very polite, Armin, he'd definitely appreciate that. He would be better off getting some food into his stomach after a long day of work.
On the other hand, what items did Bertholdt have in his schedule that required him to be well-rested compared to Armin? Sit inside a cell waiting for the night to come around and go to bed again? Armin's day had been troublesome enough already, was he really going to let it end on a bitter note? Food and relaxation be damned, that could wait until the morning. When would be the next time he'd have Bertholdt all to himself like this within the comfort of his own home, anyway?
He stood, walking into the bedroom as he fumbled around with his belt. He didn't care anymore about the nature of this attention he so craved, he was gonna get it one way or another. Stopping by the side of the bed, he reached down to pull his pants off of his ankles and throw them somewhere behind him in his room, too listless to find pyjamas to put on instead.
He lowered himself onto the bed, crawling over on hands and knees to where that sleeping form lay with his back turned on Armin, to place a hand on Bertholdt's shoulder and hunch over until his face was near Bertholdt's.
"Hey… I'm home," Armin whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair behind Bertholdt's ear.
Bertholdt didn't react, so Armin gently shook at his shoulder until the shifter turned his head towards him, one eye cracked open as he had a questioning look on his face, the tone of his groan matching his confusion.
"I'm home, Bertholdt… Sorry I'm late," Armin continued, sinking through his knees further to now slouch against Bertholdt instead. His hand rubbed up and down over the taller man's upper arm, enticing him to turn just a little further. "Are you, um… Are you still in the mood?"
Bertholdt blinked a few times, moving an arm to cover his eyes. "What time is it?" he asked, too loosely to suggest he wasn't speaking through the veil of his dreams.
Dammit, he was too tired to do anything. One word out of his mouth was obvious enough.
"Late," Armin still responded, planting a placating kiss behind Bertholdt's ear. The shifter rolled over to lie on his back instead but didn't say anything, dozing off again in the silence that took hold between them once more.
This wouldn't do. Armin would have to up his game if he wanted to go to bed without feeling neglected. He leaned back again, seated upon his knees, letting go of Bertholdt and looking down on his chest, rising and falling to suggest that he was pretty far gone already. Armin moved his hands to his sides, pulling his shirt over his head in one swift motion — he wasn't going to waste energy unbuttoning it, he could fix his clothes in the morning — and throwing it behind him.
He hunched over Bertholdt again, pressing his now bare chest against Bertholdt's shirt as he rested his head beneath the taller male's collarbones and folded his hands over his shoulders in a half-assed hug, looking up at his face as that gentle heartbeat resonated through his ear. "I really need you right now, Bertholdt…"
The shifter didn't open his eyes, but one of his hands crawled its way up to Armin's back, weakly resting in place there for a few seconds before sliding off over his shoulder and back onto the bed. Armin sighed, rolling off of Bertholdt's chest and joining him in lying on his back instead. He picked up the hand that had previously been on his shoulder, pulling it over to place it down on his belly. If this didn't work…
Nope, it hadn't. Bertholdt was fast asleep yet again.
So there Armin lay, neglected and lonely, too dejected to even get under the covers for rest. Warm as it was against his swiftly cooling skin, Bertholdt's hand was as lifeless as he was, no matter how much Armin pawed and fingered at it, intertwined it with his own, fruitlessly pressed it into his skin a little deeper to try to elicit some type of reaction.
This was all Hange's fault. If they hadn't kept him past noon — no, past midnight — Armin could've gone home to spoil Bertholdt as he had planned and get in some spoiling for himself as well. He'd missed his window of opportunity. What if he'd gone home in the afternoon or in the evening instead, to avoid giving Hange the misconception that he had run out of work to do? He'd planned to catch up on what he'd missed at a later date, but apparently, they hadn't been briefed. Apparently, Armin wasn't clear enough. He should've left without a word, consequences be damned. No one could tell him what to do over such an arbitrary matter.
As it turned out, this was all his own fault. He let the rain clouds and thunder form in his head, annoyed he was now moping on top of the covers in his underwear and he lacked the motivation to fix even that. The cold air of the bedroom licked at his skin, draining his warmth at a faster rate than he was comfortable with, and it was clear that soon, he'd have to move if he wanted to avoid freezing. His grip on Bertholdt's hand tightened a little to hold onto the heat it provided against his belly. Briefly did he consider guiding that hand to where he really wanted it to be instead right now, but with the complete lack of muscle activity, he doubted that it would do more than annoy him at this point. So instead, he just lay there.
A shiver ran across Armin's skin, and instantly that hand on his belly let go. Armin's reflexes weren't fast enough to react in time for him to see the unexpectedly energetic bear hug that followed coming, pulling him onto his side and straight against Bertholdt's much warmer body and sending Armin's heart rate into the heights at the unexpected affection. When Bertholdt settled, his arms didn't relax but instead kept a fierce grip around Armin.
Oh. So all Armin had to do to get Bertholdt's attention was flare up his protective instincts. Armin wished he'd known that sooner.
Not that he cared much, held in a hug tight enough to signal that Bertholdt had finally become lucid enough to maintain the right amount of tension on his arms to neither let Armin go nor crush him. This was exactly where he wanted to be, and he nuzzled his face into the crook of Bertholdt's neck as he basked in the heat that always seemed to radiate from the taller man's body.
Armin considered falling asleep then and there, safely tucked away, but then, a little demon inside him told him that he'd woken up Bertholdt already anyway, what was the harm in going a little further? He was already on the move before he could even consider the tact behind his idea, freeing his arms and snaking them between the bedsheets and Bertholdt's body until he reached the hem of his shirt, then made a sharp turn and pressed both of his freezing palms into the skin of Bertholdt's belly.
Bertholdt instantly recoiled with a gasp, pushing Armin away and pulling his hands out from under his shirt, restraining him at the wrists. The taller man looked down at him incredulously for a moment, during which Armin maintained as innocent a smile as he could, but he faltered when something annoyed overtook Bertholdt's features, barely visible in the dark. Before he could react, Bertholdt had already shifted both their positions, pushing Armin onto his back and pinning his hands above his head before rolling on top of the smaller male, effectively ensnaring him.
Heat pooled into Armin's cheeks as the weight fully settled on top of him, rapid heartbeat trapped between their bodies, and for a moment he worried he'd actually annoyed Bertholdt. But then, the taller man's facial expression turned laxer.
"You woke me up," he hummed as he moved his face closer to Armin's.
"So I did," Armin replied with as little emotion as he could, finding it hard not to wheeze it out with all this weight resting on top of him. He curled his fingers to touch the ones restraining him and felt that their grip on him weakened in response. "Now that you're awake anyway…"
"… I will help you fall asleep together with me," Bertholdt completed, placing a weak peck on Armin's chin.
"Bertholdt, please, I just need some attention." Armin pulled on one of his wrists but this time, Bertholdt wasn't relenting in his grip.
"You're getting a lot of attention right now."
Oh. Armin supposed that was right. It was of a misleading nature, but he was getting Bertholdt's full focus right now, and it satisfied that part of him that needed him right now. How'd he miss that? Had his eyelids always felt this heavy?
"I think," Bertholdt continued, voice warm and deep as it buzzed through Armin's chest, "that you're much too tired to fool around right now. You didn't even get under the covers while you were passing out. Just come sleep with me, I'll cuddle you until you're asleep."
A mischievous grin tugged at Bertholdt's lips. "And if you really don't want to, I suppose I'll just go back to sleep here, where you can't pester me again and I can keep you warm."
Armin's body did feel a lot heavier than it did before, and not just because a gentle giant had made himself comfortable on top of him. He suddenly wasn't so sure if he could take the surplus of physical activity. Maybe Bertholdt was right.
"Fine," Armin sighed out, and Bertholdt instantly let go of Armin's wrists, using his now free arms to lift himself off of Armin slightly without getting off. Armin rubbed his wrists only to make a point, then pushed on Bertholdt's shoulders. "Can you move your fat body before you crush me?"
"Mmm," Bertholdt mused as he rolled off of Armin, leaning his head into one hand as he gracelessly landed on his side. "Tall, Armin. Not fat," he corrected as his free hand went to cup Armin's face and pull him in for a kiss. "Need to spoil me more if you want me thicker."
Armin breathed out a soft chuckle, kissing back and turning on his side again before Bertholdt helped him towards the headboard. "C'mon," he whispered as he pulled back the covers and slid his hands under Armin, one under his hip and one under his torso, to pull him closer and throw the covers over the both of them. His touch was gentle as ever, though a bit sluggish courtesy of his fatigue. Armin didn't mind the lack of precision, because when he rolled over on his other side to face away from Bertholdt and the taller man's arms wrapped around him as Armin scooted closer to him until their bodies were flush against each other, he felt nothing but Bertholdt's warmth.
Armin's head rested on Bertholdt's bicep and he felt something lazily brush against his scalp. "Want to tell me about your day?" came from above him, muffled by Armin's flaxen locks on his lips.
Nuzzling closer against Bertholdt's body, relishing in the comfort of the blankets around him and the shared body heat that warmed him up again and the confirmation that he'd been forgiven for what happened today, Armin let his eyes fall shut. "Hange," he simply replied.
"I'm sorry," Bertholdt whispered in response, the brief tension in his arms before he wrapped them tighter not lost on Armin.
"Yeah…" Armin sighed. "I was going to leave in the afternoon, but they kept me back to help with paperwork. I thought I'd be out of there sooner, but turns out they just wanted me to dent their workload as much as possible. If I'd stayed to finish it, I wouldn't leave until summer. I came straight home when I was finally dismissed. I think I was only let go because I was falling asleep where I sat." It reminded him of Eren's recounts of his first night talking to the scientist, kept up for hours just like Armin was today. Unlike the commander, however, Armin needed his sleep and couldn't function well on exhaustion.
"I'm sorry," Bertholdt repeated, rubbing a hand over Armin's side. "That sounds taxing."
"Mm, it was," Armin muttered. "And it's not the first time. Hange has been assigning me a lot of paperwork lately. Just me, no one else. They've been offloading a lot of their duties on me, come to think about it… It's like I'm no longer up to standard after my recovery and they want to demote me to the sidelines to fill out paperwork and carry out simpler tasks."
It sent a spike through Armin's heart. He didn't want to sound like he was accusing Bertholdt here, he really didn't, but even after they'd reached a point where they could discuss Armin's injuries from the Battle for Shiganshina without making it personal, it never didn't feel like a jab at Bertholdt for inflicting them when Armin brought them up. He'd been weaker ever since, less agile thanks to permanent scarring, especially when he needed to train back up to regain the muscle mass and stamina he'd lost in his months of lying in bed recovering. Hange must've noticed that he was of even less use and probably wanted to retire him from the frontline. Had he failed to wake up Bertholdt to get soothed in his arms, this day would've been completely terrible.
A soft, breathy chuckle came from above and Bertholdt took hold of one of Armin's hands, weaving his fingers between Armin's as his palm rested on the back. "Demote you, you say?"
"Take this seriously, please, Bertholdt…" Armin begged, only getting a pleased hum from Bertholdt in response.
"Who says it's about demotion? It sounds to me like you're being shown the ropes for a reason."
Armin cracked open an eye, finding it much harder than he'd thought it'd be. His brain was starting to fail on him, great. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Bertholdt started, "that the commander wants to make sure that when it's time for the changing of the guard, the responsibility falls on the shoulders of someone who has experience with their respective duties and not of someone doing all this for the first time in their life."
"Oh," Armin mumbled. "Oh…"
Maybe Bertholdt was bluffing to make Armin feel better. That sounded much more likely than the alternative. But it was the fact that he was trying to make Armin feel better that comforted him, led him to brush his thumb over Bertholdt's fingers as he closed his eyes again, turning his head slightly to plant languid attempts at kisses into the taller man's bicep.
"Can you tell me about that paperwork you braved?"
"'Braved'?" Armin snorted, his smile only deepening. "Are you trying to get some sensitive intel out of me at a time like this, Bertholdt? Really?"
"I like the sound of your voice, sweet. I'd love to fall back asleep listening to it," Bertholdt explained calmly. "Isn't it the least you owe me for waking me up again?"
Armin pulled his legs closer, curling up into a ball. "Fine. I'll tell you. But only to get you off my case."
It took Armin a grand total of three minutes before his sentences started to cut off, and no five minutes after he'd started explaining, he'd gone quiet. Both his breathing and heartbeat had gone so steady that they were now near-imperceptible, proof that his fatigue finally put him under. The silence gave Bertholdt the chance to appreciate the moment for what it was: something peaceful he'd yearned for, for too many consecutive nights now.
Bertholdt did feel a little bit cruel to deprive Armin of a pleasant night after he had been so frustrated not to be able to spend the afternoon and evening with him, but if Armin was on the verge of collapse from just talking, fooling around would've turned him into a wreck. It was nothing he couldn't make up for in the morning, when both of them had more energy and lust to relish each other's body.
He planted a final kiss on the back of Armin's head before leaning back, keeping his arms around the blond but halting all other affection to avoid stirring him. It was rare for Bertholdt to fall asleep again after he'd been woken up in the middle of the night, so asking Armin to talk to him was more about hearing his voice again and getting an indicator of whenever he was under than it was about letting it guide Bertholdt back under.
He didn't mind lying awake. Armin would have to return him to his cell in a few hours from now, after which Bertholdt could catch up on sleep all he wanted. No use wasting time on it now. With Armin's visits becoming rarer and rarer thanks to his increasing workload, Bertholdt wanted to make the most of it when they finally did get to spend some time together. External forces ruined their plans for the afternoon, but that didn't mean he should sulk around during the hours he did get to spend with Armin. So long as Armin had a good time, Bertholdt followed suit.
If it meant being a watchful guardian as the smaller male slept in his embrace, then Bertholdt was more than content to spend the early morning hours waiting for him to awaken again, listening to every breath, sensing the soft pulsing of his skin, mindful of every slightest twitch of his body until eventually, all of these would reduce to white noise.
He couldn't fall asleep with something precious like that in his arms, even if he tried.