Hello again, my wonderful, lovely readers! I apologize for the strange one-chapter-a-year update schedule. I had little intention- and have little intention- of letting this fic waste away. It will be finished, one way or another. And hey, what better time to work on it than while we're all trapped at home with the strangeness of the world going on?

Inspired by a prompt I stumbled upon by lateforerebor on tumblr.

Summary: Bilba "Bell" Baggins decides that she's waited quite long enough to take her mother's advice and old stories and go on an adventure of her own. What she didn't expect was to end up in Ered Luin and be adopted by dwarves! AU, Pre-Quest, Undecided Pairings.

-;-

It was rather easy to forget there was a wizard amongst their number when Gandalf seemed to enjoy sitting back and watching the madness that followed. For this particular reference, the sheer amount of rain that had started as an innocent enough drizzle in the morning and was now a full deluge that did not appear to be going to let up any time soon that day.

Truly, there were few things that Bilba could say absolutely ground her to her last nerve, but her age was swiftly rising to the top of her personal list. Despite being middle aged for a Hobbit, she did have prior injury to content with; her leg, already prone to aches and pains on the best of days, did not appear to agree with the long days spent in a saddle. Even less so with the less than stellar weather pattern they appeared to be travelling through.

She grunted as they dismounted for the night, her leg nearly buckling under her weight as she leaned into Myrtle's side for balance.

Despite knowing that her dwarves wouldn't be able to offer as much attention as they had in the Blue Mountains, it still stung to have to keep their distance for the moment. Without Thorin's permission- and what a load of bollocks that was- they couldn't.

That was an issue all its own, Bilba thought sourly, gingerly testing her sore leg once she'd regained her footing.

Thorin-bloody-Oakenshield; cantankerous princeling he was, had somehow come to an unspoken agreement of mutual dislike with the Hobbit. She knew little but the things she had heard in Ered Luin of him, and he knew next to nothing of her. Though Bilba was almost certain that he continued to press Balin with queries and demands to know why so many of their company seemed to know her. It went to show just how much more distrustful he was of her than the rest of his kin.

Though in some measure, it was also amusing. Having so many dwarrow acting out like faunts without supervision, only to abruptly behave themselves once an older Hobbit came about? Bilba was sure it would prove interesting when the truth finally came out.

She had little intention of hiding her beads from the company forever, after all.

"Ye alright, Bell?" Bofur asked, appearing next to her and steadying her further. "Bifur saw ye stumble."

"I'm beginning to feel less and less like a faunt and more like an old Hobbit." Bilba grumbled sourly, wincing as she began to unpack her things from Myrtle's back. "I'm getting too old for this nonsense."

"I wouldn't say that yet. Ye don't even have a silver hair in that pretty mane of yours." He assured her brightly, moving to grab the saddle as it went sliding off the mare's flanks. "But ye do need to sit down and rest that leg of yours."

"I think you'd be right." She winced again, deigning to ignore the comment about the color of her hair as she bundled her pack into her arms. "I'll see if I have any herbs to make a salve for the swelling."

"Ye could always ask Oin." Bofur suggested, tucking a stirrup under his arm to keep from tripping over it.

"I'm fairly certain he and I have the same herbs, Bofur." Bilba sighed, rolling her eyes when Bofur quirked a bushy brow in return. "But yes, I'll ask Oin for herbs. Even if I already have everything I need."

He smirked as her, muttering a "cheeky lass" as he went to deposit the saddle over a nearby rock for safekeeping.

Being the very mature Hobbit she was, Bilba settled for sticking her tongue out at him rather than swatting him, as she was rather tempted to.

And then she went in search of Oin.

A salve turned out to go a long way in easing most of Bilba's discomfort during the days and most of the evenings as the company began to settle into a routine. She would apply it to her swollen skin during the night before resting, and in the morning before mounting her pony to aid in keeping the scarred tissue from chafing or twisting.

She and Bombur were usually the ones to make an evening meal- Bilba was rather adept at foraging for woodland growth, and Bombur knew how to prepare a variety of dishes thanks to her stint in the Grey Goose as a cook. Dori tended to hover about; Bilba couldn't help but feel sympathetic for him. She could only imagine what leaving the Goose was like, after spending so much time building it into what it was.

Ori tended to stick close to Balin for the majority of most activities; despite the number of looks they suffered from the insufferable princeling, Ori's studies were continuing strongly. Never mind the questions he continued to ask about Hobbits and Bilba's Tookish relations. The young dwarf was still as dedicated to continuing to learn all he could about Hobbits as he was while they had been in Ered Luin; Bilba delighted in regaling him and whoever else was riding nearby with tales of her Took aunts.

But, as with most adventures or quests, there were some things that simply could not be marked into the routine, and that was poor weather. Well, perhaps it wasn't so bad for a child of Yavanna. But for dwarves, rain was the worst possible thing that could happen to them.

She didn't find it terribly awful; her oilskin did quite a lot to keep the majority of the weather off her back. Granted, rain meant that her pipe was unable to be lit, and her pipeweed began to seem like a far away dream the longer the rain continued.

While the rain didn't bother Bilba, it certainly bothered the crew of dwarrow she was travelling with. Primarily the elder dwarrow- Balin, Oin, Bifur, Dwalin. Thorin appeared bothered, if his dark mutterings were anything to go by, but otherwise remained his usual stoic self.

The only one aside from Bilba who seemed completely unaffected by the weather was Nori. Not terribly odd, considering she knew that he travelled quite frequently away from Ered Luin, but perhaps she had misjudged the amount that he did so. He flipped little coins and bits of metal through his fingers during the daylit hours, his gaze fixated on something in the distance only he knew.

She never thought that she would admit it, but Bilba rather missed his teasing looks and fond endearments that he'd been much freer with back in the mountains.

By the end of the week, there still had been no relief from the poor weather. Even the more even-tempered of the group were beginning to tire of it, Bilba included. Though to be fair, she was beginning to grow tired of the sorry lot of grown dwarrow whinging and cursing the skies as if they had been personally slighted. In a roundabout way, she supposed it had with the amount of water; nonetheless, it was no reason to be acting like fussy babes about it. The rain would eventually stop, as it always did.

Perhaps save Bilba, when the clouds finally parted to allow the first rays of sunlight through, everyone rejoiced. The brothers Ri knew Bilba's distaste for more than a single weather pattern occurring at once and wisely remained silent as the Hobbit lass tilted her head back to squint furiously at the collaboration of sunlight dappling through the dark grey clouds. She caught the tail-end of Nori's signature smirk as she glanced over his direction, Dori dropping into place beside her amid the tired cheers.

Gandalf had made himself scarce the night before, no doubt just as tired of the whinging as she and leaving Bilba to deal with it instead. Now, however, she was sure he would reappear with the emergence of the sun.

She would be silver by the end of this journey; she was sure of it.

-;-

The weather finally cleared- truly cleared, not a cloud in the sky- after the next several days of riding. It was late afternoon when they finally called it for the day, the sun hanging low in the sky as they paused at what appeared to be the ruins of an old house. It was ramshackle, surrounded by large rocks from the low hill it was situated next to and close to the woodland that they had just emerged from.

Suitable even to the grumpy prince himself.

"We camp here for the night." Thorin declared, his voice carrying over the quiet of the woods. Despite there being plenty of signs of wildlife; birds, the croaks of the frogs in the creeks- there was something about the leaning remnants of the building that set Bilba's hair standing on end.

It appeared that Gandalf was of the same opinion as he dismounted and slunk through the doorway of the old house, cautiously looking about as though he expected something to jump out at him at any moment.

"Fili, Kili. Look after the ponies- make sure you stay with them." Thorin continued, ignoring the wizard's antics. It was almost a talent, the way that they were able to co-exist and yet completely ignore the other unless they got into one of their frequent spats. "Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."

"A farmer and his family used to live here." Gandalf said pensively, features furrowed.

Thorin pat one of the ponies along its flank as he finally deigned direct his attention to Gandalf as Bilba dismounted, wincing as her bad leg nearly went out from underneath her again. Even with the salve, the cold of the weather had stiffened everything up.

Her brief struggle didn't go unnoticed by the healer of their group. Oin paused in assisting Gloin with gathering some of the dry brush together, lumbering over a moment later with concern on his features.

"You alright, lass?"

"Sore." She admitted, knowing it was of no use to try and get out of it. Oin could be as tenacious as any badger when he wanted to be, sniffing out the issue and making one feel like a chastised faunt for having thought to hide it in the first place. "I imagine I'll be needing a compress this evening to bring the swelling down."

"Aye, that'd be wise. We'll take a look at you to be sure." The older dwarf nodded.

A frustrated sound from their resident wizard caught the attention of those in his path.

"Everything alright?" Bilba asked as she noted Gandalf stalking back toward the group. When it became clear he was not going to stop his trajectory, Bilba frowned, leaning against Oin's shoulder to better pivot herself.

"Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who has any sense." He snapped back, not even bothering to look over his shoulder at her.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, Mistress Baggins!" he barked. "I've had enough of dwarves for one day."

He swung himself up on his horse in a flourish of grey robes, urging the much taller creature into a trot and disappearing into the forest, quickly swallowed by the dim light through the leaves.

"You think he's coming back?" Bilba asked, suddenly feeling some measure of trepidation. It was one thing to have a wizard come and go as he pleased. But already, it seemed as though Gandalf and Thorin had come to a head in their arguing. What would change if the wizard decided not to come back at all?

Balin, nearby, shrugged.

Once Oin had properly and thoroughly ensured that Bilba was not about to keel over, she stretched her legs and went foraging in the nearby woodland for some of the mushrooms she'd seen on their way through. Not too far, of course. She knew better than to wander out of sight in the wilds.

She had a feeling her dwarves were looking out for her; Bilba suspected Nori was likely closer than she thought, keeping a sharp eye out to make sure she didn't wander into any mischief she shouldn't. Not that she went looking for it in the first place.

Exhibit A; her first encounter with the middle son of Ri.

Bombur was pleased to see the measure of her effort as well, even if dwarves weren't usually accustomed to such dishes. He added it to their broth with some of the longer lasting ingredients that they'd packed- potatoes and other such roots that would last them at least several weeks until they needed to refuel or find a town.

"He's been a long time." She commented, sitting next to the fire with a compress Oin had made up on her leg. She couldn't help but keep watch for the wizard.

"Who?" Bofur asked, blinking her direction as he swatted Bombur's hands away from the bowl of stew he was scooping with a warning look.

"Gandalf."

"He's a wizard, Miss Bell." Bofur scoffed, "He does as he chooses. Here, do us a favor- take this to the lads. It'll distract ye."

He handed her the pair of bowls, turning to smack Bombur's hands again. "Stop it, you've had plenty."

The ponies were scattered from just outside camp to further back in the woods. Bilba frowned when she realized that neither Fili nor Kili were within sight before rolling her eyes. From what she'd seen of their antics so far, they were well meaning but managed to get into mischief more often than not.

"Ah, there you two are- what are you looking at?"

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili replied, staring ahead as Bilba stepped between the pair of younger dwarrow.

"Only we've encountered a… slight problem." Fili added, glancing over to Bilba for a moment.

"We had sixteen." Kili continued, still in an odd conversational tone.

"Now there's… fourteen."

"You're sure?" Bilba asked immediately, mentally counting which ponies she'd seen on her way into the wood.

"Aye." Fili nodded as Kili wandered back in a half circle. She could hear him counting in what she assumed to be Khuzdul before making it back to them.

"Daisy and Bungo are missing."

"Well, that's certainly not good." Bilba exhaled a breathy laugh. Her grip tightened on the bowls as a moment of panic swept over her. There were any number of things that could have made ponies disappear, and none of them good. "That is not good at all."

She shivered at the sight of a fully uprooted tree in front of them, another behind. She could only assume that that was where the ponies had been tied.

"Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Bilba asked reluctantly. She didn't enjoy the thought of having to go back and tell Thorin that two ponies were missing. She could imagine how that particular scenario would go.

"No. No. Let's not worry him." Fili cleared his throat. "As our official burglar… you might want to look into it."

"Oh, Yavanna help me." Bilba sighed, suddenly glad for the bowls so that she would not be able to rub the bridge of her nose tiredly. "Something big has uprooted these trees. Something very big, quite likely dangerous, and you want me to investigate?"

A low crunch of the undergrowth had Fili's head turning and his posture sinking down automatically. "Hey, there's a light. Kili, come here."

Or just not answer her and do this, instead.

Bilba sank into a hunter's crouch as the blond dwarf led the way underneath one of the thick logs of the unearthed tree, Kili on her heels. As they took refuge behind a log, Bilba set down the pair of bowls. She had a feeling that the evening was about to take quite a turn, and there was no sense in carting the silly things around waiting for the two dwarves to take them off her hands.

"What is it?" she squinted through the undergrowth, nose scrunching as a whiff of something less than desirable reached them.

"Trolls." Kili said, disgust coloring his tone before he and his brother were vaulting the log and tearing off into the unknown.

"Oh, for the love of-" Bilba was torn. On the one hand, she could simply turn around, go back to camp, and do the logical thing. Which was, unfortunately, to call Thorin's attention to the matter. Trolls were nothing to scoff at, and despite dwarrow being renowned for their skills in battle, Bilba didn't terribly want to see bloodshed so early in their quest.

On the other hand… she was quite certain that she was the level headed one in the trio currently, and she didn't want to be the reason those two ran straight into danger and got themselves killed.

Then Thorin would really have a reason to despise her. Quite possibly run her through with his blade, too. Definitely not on her list of things that she wanted to encounter.

Blast these thrice cursed dwarves! She could feel the silver hairs appearing.

She shot one last look at the bowls before following the dwarves further into the woods- just in time to duck behind a tree as an absolutely massive troll stomped by, two more ponies under its massive arms.

Including Myrtle and Minty.

"They're going to eat them- we have to do something!" she hissed to the pair of dwarves hiding behind another tree. Both of them looked over at her as though the sun had blinded them, blinking owlishly.

"Yes, you should." Kili said, standing to guide Bilba through the gap of the trees. "Mountain trolls are so slow and stupid, and you're so small-"

"No. No. No?" Bilba denied immediately at the looks the pair were giving her. "One, preferably all of us- need to alert Thorin about this. Two ponies is one thing. They now have four. Two- we need all the help we can get to sort this out or there are going to be much worse consequences waiting for us. And three; I have no intention of getting into this mess and eaten by a troll, thank you very much! I have made it this far and I would quite like to live a while longer, if you don't mind."

Judging by their expressions, they did mind.

"It's perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you." Kili cajoled, the picture of innocence. Bilba wasn't falling for it. She had seen many a faunt try that look before. She'd been one, after all. No, the real question was, what to do now?

Someone needed to go back and warn the others, but someone also needed to- or attempt to- get a lay of the land and ensure that nothing was to happen to the ponies. Bilba had become rather attached to Myrtle, and if anything were to happen to the pony, she didn't know what she would do.

Of the two dwarves present, it posed an interesting conundrum.

Fili was the more mature of the pair, despite outward appearances. Thorin appeared to be trying to groom him as a prince, which likely meant that he was older. Unfortunately, he didn't have the distance weapon that Kili's bow would allow. But the bow was back with the rest of the ponies, because none of them had expected this nonsense to come about during their evening.

"Can either of you use a slingshot?"

Neither of the pair expected that question.

"Pull yourselves together." She rolled her eyes, stomping her foot for good measure. "Can either of you use a slingshot and have enough aim to cover me should something go wrong in this mad idea of yours?"

"We both can…" Fili said, a tad nervous. "But Kili's a better shot, and Ori is the best with a slingshot out of all of us, I think."

"Then it's settled. Kili, you'll use my slingshot. Fili, go alert your uncle to this nonsense and get help. I'm going to do my best not to get stomped on or eaten by a troll." The Hobbit sighed, pulling her slingshot out from under the waist of her skirts and handing it to a shocked looking Kili.

There were several beats of silence.

"Go!" she growled, pointing back the way that they had come. Fili scrambled to go, while Kili audibly swallowed as she turned on him next.

"I'm going to go ahead and scout, but if anything happens, I'll need a distraction. Find some stones and come after me in a few moments."

-;-

"Mutten yesterday. Mutton today. And blight, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow."

Bilba skulked along the shadows, light as air as she slunk into the undergrowth and followed the lumbering giant into the very likely scenario that she was about to get eaten.

Hopefully it wouldn't happen, but she was placing blind faith into two young dwarves she barely knew and a cantankerous princeling who barely held regard for her.

What could possibly go wrong?

"-These ain't sheep- these is west nags!" a watery rumble of a voice said through the trees. Bilba ducked and bobbed through the undergrowth with some practice, not moving too quickly in case there was another element of surprise waiting for her at the treeline.

Like there not being just one mountain troll, but three seated around a massive fire against a rocky cropping.

"I don't like horse. I never 'ave." one of the three trolls muttered mutinously. "Not enough fat on them."

Bilba tuned out the bickering the second she lay eyes on the ponies. Four of them, thank goodness. It meant that hopefully, there weren't any more trolls to contend with. Unless there was another one getting more; but then, then pen they were in didn't look like it could hold any more than the four they already had.

There was a squeal of pain from one of the massive beasts in front of the fire; Bilba ducked on instinct, praying that none of them turned and saw her creeping over to the agitated ponies.

"I hope you're gonna gut these nags-"

Bilba sucked in a breath, holding positively still as the scrawniest of the trolls turned to stare at the ponies she was currently assessing how to liberate.

"-I don't like the stinky parts."

The troll turned back around; a moment later, there was a metallic thunk and another howl of pain.

"I said sit down."

Bilba exhaled shakily. Her heart felt like it was about to pound right out of her chest as she went for her knife-

Only to remember that she'd only brought her slingshot with her.

Drat it all.

There was no way she would be able to get the thick, heavy rope off of the makeshift gate of the pen on her own. If she'd had her knife, she could simply cut it loose and try to hop on one of their backs as they made a run for it. But then there would be three angry trolls and only Kili as backup, if he had even followed her to begin with.

I will not scream, I will not scream, I will not scream. She willed herself as a bubble of frustration welled up in her throat. It would only make her feel better for an instant.

"I'm starving. Are we having horse tonight or what?" one of the other trolls demanded.

"Shut your cake 'ole."

Like a prayer being answered, Bilba happened to glance over and see a fillet knife- or what she supposed counted as one- strapped to the scrawniest troll.

It was a bad idea.

A very, very bad idea.

But, as she glanced over the rope again, there weren't really many other options to go with at this point. At this point, it was going to be her or the ponies. Ideally neither. But she was a creature of her Lady, and loved the forest as much as She did.

Hushing the ponies the best she could, Bilba inched her way along the pen as quickly as she dared, shuddering as she moved bones out of her way. If that was anything to go by, she had a feeling she knew what happened to the house their company was staying in for the night.

She ducked out of the way of a very large, filthy paw of a troll, finally reaching her position behind her intended target. Despite herself, her Hobbit tendencies surfaced for a moment as she made several hand gestures, lost as to how she was about to relieve the troll of his knife without his attention.

Might as well just grab it, I suppose. She thought, setting her hands on the hilt of the knife when the troll abruptly stood to perform a disgusting display of crude… whatever it was before seating itself back down again.

She wasn't terribly certain, but she hoped that these were not females.

About to set her hands on the knife again, Bilba's air rushed out of her lungs as a massive paw scooped her up into fabric and found herself the victim of being used as a snot rag.

Were it another situation, she would have lost her dinner.

As it was, she could only freeze, unsure of whether or not the current events had actually transpired or if she were trapped in a terrible, awful nightmare.

"Blimey! Look what's come outta me 'ootah!" The troll wailed, shaking as it pointed a finger at her now very snot-soaked form. "It's got arms an' legs an' everythin'!"

"Wot is it?" one of his companions asked, obviously befuddled at the presence of a four limbed creature as much as the others.

"I don't know, but I don' like the way it wriggles around." The troll shuddered, throwing her to the ground. Bilba hit the forest floor with enough force to snap her out of whatever shock she'd succumbed to, clambering to her feet to face the trio of disgusted, curious trolls.

"Wot are you then? An oversized squirrel?" the largest demanded. He was brandishing a log in her direction as though she might be a feral animal. To be fair, she certainly felt like one, covered in troll body fluids and more than a tad irate that this was now, apparently, the way her life was going to be.

Then again, perhaps she would be able to talk her way out of this.

"I'm a bogey-burglar." She spit out before she had time to think.

"A bogey-burglar?"

"Can we cook it?"

"We can try!" the one who had snot on her snarled gleefully, lunging around the fire.

"Hold on now!" she bellowed, more than pleased when it worked in startling them into pausing.

They all stood there, eying one another up for a long second, before Bilba bolted.

Chaos ensued.

Trolls bellowed over her as she bobbed and weaved through their clumsy fingers, fear pushing her to not get caught. Odds were if they got a hold of her now, she would definitely be eaten. Or thrown into the fire. Or some measure of both.

Somewhere between not dying and almost getting stepped on, the dwarves arrived on scene with Kili in the lead. Nori appeared next to Bilba, tossing her knives over before throwing himself into the thick of it with Bifur.

It was complete madness as Bilba tried not to get trampled by troll and dwarrow alike. There was a mighty roar of pain as someone managed to crush toes with a hammer, trolls stumbling into her path as the Hobbit refocused on the ponies. With the chaos surrounding them, it was the perfect chance to free them and hope that they made it out of the fight.

Armed with her knives, she slashed at anything vaguely troll looking as she made her way to the ponies, wasting no time in sawing the rope away. Sweat beaded on her brow; this rope was meant for things much larger than Hobbits- it had to be at least as thick as her arm, knotted tightly against the makeshift boards. She ignored the panicked whinnying as she sawed through the last bit of rope, the ponies bolting without preamble into the forest.

Unfortunately, the racket attracted unwanted attention. The largest troll bellowed as it lumbered after her, somehow avoiding the dwarves in its path as she squealed in fear, ducking under fingers and stabbing with her knives into thick flesh. It only served to stave off the inevitable for a handful of moments before it managed to catch her legs and twist her off her feet, swinging her upright and into the grip of another troll and putting her in the middle of everything.

Exactly what she'd been hoping to avoid.

"Bilba!"

The strain of pressure on her limbs made it hard to breathe. Her chest and shoulders felt like they were on fire, her leg screaming as it cramped in a way that suggested she would not be able to move far nor fast even if she so desired.

Which, for the record, she absolutely did in this moment.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip 'is off." A troll snarled, tugging on the half of her body it had in his fingers. She couldn't help the involuntary whimper at the additional pain.

Bilba could see none of the dwarves wanted to, least of all Thorin. She caught his eye by accident, silently pleading with him to not do what they said. She didn't terribly fancy going out like this, but at least they would stand a fighting chance. She could almost hear Dori; he nearly vibrated with the force of his growl, Nori looking much the same as Ori stared up at her in fear.

Looking like a petulant faunt, Thorin mutinously stabbed his blade into the dirt, staring at the ground as Kili protested wordlessly. The rest of the company followed suit; Ori threw his slingshot down with a ferocity that belied the circumstances, looking a moment away from tears.

-;-

Despite their circumstances, there was something to be said in terms of inappropriate sources of amusement in watching an entire company of dwarves allowing themselves to be bagged and tied to a spit over a fire, respectively. Had she not been in a position of losing several limbs, Bilba might have laughed. As it was, she could only watch on as the company were stuffed into sacks and set aside. She joined them shortly thereafter, deposited onto Oin and Balin with a careless toss.

Ori, Dori and Nori were strapped to a log with several more of the dwarves as the trolls stoked the fire, muttering back and forth about how to cook them and something about dawn and being turned to stone.

Of course- trolls turned to stone in daylight!

"Wait!" she called out, earning the attention of everyone present, "You're making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori yelled faintly from his position on the makeshift spit.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur yelled from the other side of the log as it rotated.

Bilba struggled upright with a grunt, bound hands brushing herself off underneath the heavy fabric of the sack to the best of her ability. It didn't do much- the hardening bogeys she'd been covered in were now encrusted in a thick layer of dirt and grime, drying and itching something fierce as she turned her attention to the task at hand.

"I meant with the seasoning." She rolled her eyes, trying to sound as reasonable as possible. Her legs shook underneath her as she tried to find a more comfortable position. Hopefully no one would notice.

"Wot about the seasoning?"

"Have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." She sniffed dramatically for effect.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" one demanded, growling as his companion shushed him with a wave of his hand.

"Shut up- let the bogey-burglar talk." He said, leaning in more intently as his eyes focused on her.

Bilba let out a breathy chuckle as she straightened, wracking her brain for an answer. It had to be something that sounded plausible, or there was no chance that they would believe it. Granted, they were idiots, but she needed it to be quick.

"The secret to cooking dwarf is…" she leaned forward, as if sharing some great secret.

"Yes?"

She glanced around as if to make sure that no one else was listening. "You won't tell anyone, will you? It's my great-nan's secret to making any dish better."

"Come on, tell us the secret."

"Well, I want your guarantee you won't tell anyone else! It's a family recipe!" she retorted sharply, affronted.

"Fine!"

"You have to skin them first." She nodded primly as outrage sparked in the group. Particularly, she would note, from the dwarves she did not know as well as her trio. No, the brothers of Ri were staring at her in a mixture of awe, anger and disbelief.

"Tom," the troll she was speaking to said, "Get me filleting knife."

"What a load of rubbish!" the bigger troll declared, sneering in her direction. "I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Stuff 'em, I say- boots an' all!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Bilba caught a glimpse of grey shifting amongst the ferns. Silently, she hoped it was Gandalf.

"He's right.. nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy." The scrawnier troll declared. Bombur was heaved up into the air over the troll's mouth, wriggling as he yelped.

"There's another reason!" she roared, regaining all of the attention in the clearing. "They're infected. Infested really."

"With wot?"

"Bad batch of meat. You know how it is. You think it's fine, and then you don't cook it properly and you get worms coming out of every hole they can find. Parasites infesting the whole lot. We were camping nearby to look for medicinal herbs to be rid of them when you stumbled on us. I imagine you don't want to deal with worms in your sensitive bits now, would you?" she replied conversationally.

The troll holding Bombur- to Mordor with it, she was going to call him Tom- dropped him with a squeak as the dwarves kicked up another fuss. Thorin, for once, appeared to be on the same page, doing something behind her that changed the tune immediately. It became a contest of which dwarf had the largest parasites, Kili amongst the loudest.

"Wot would you have us do, then?" the other large troll growled, lumbering over from the fire. Bilba could sense she was treading on thin ground with him.

"Well, there's a herb in these woods that would help you be rid of them, like I said. I'd be happy to show you what it looks like in case you come across more dwarves after you eat us." Bilba thought she sounded quite reasonable, to be honest.

"This little ferret is taking us for fools." He sneered, returning to turning the log covered in dwarves with Tom.

"Ferret?" she demanded, affronted. She was no ferret- she was a Hobbit!

"The dawn will take you all!"

Bless Gandalf for his strange need of dramatics. Bilba wasn't familiar in talking down mountain trolls, and she'd already used up the majority of her energy by simply standing in place. With a great, thunderous crack, the rock above them split in two; revealing the bright rays of the dawn's light as the run rose above the horizon.

-;-

Once the initial relief of the wizard's return and subsequent rescue abated, the company went about sorting themselves to rights. Exhaustion and pain were pulling at Bilba's limbs as Gandalf cut her free from the sack, rubbing circulation into her wrists as she instinctively looked for her knives from Dis. After everything that they'd done and knowing the value of the weapons, she would rather it not be left to rot in the clearing with the stone trolls.

Instead, she found them in Thorin's hands, looking over the craftmanship critically.

"Where did you get this?" he demanded quietly, dark eyes blazing as she met his gaze head on.

"I traded for them in Ered Luin." She replied warily, knowing exactly who had crafted them and who said crafter was to Thorin.

"It is rare to be traded for a pair." He said.

They remained in a stiff show of wills before Thorin handed them to her wordlessly, stalking off toward Gandalf. For what, she didn't know; she suspected it would be no time at all before they were bickering as they had been before.

Men. It didn't seem to matter what race they hailed from; they were all fussy, immature faunts when it came down to it.

That business settled, Bilba turned to look for her dwarves as they were cut down from the spit. Dori was fussing over Ori, no sign of Nori's familiar tri-point of hair anywhere. The youngest Ri still looked a bit in shock from everything that had happened.

"You're hurt."

She jumped, hissing through her teeth as abused muscle protested the motion. She should have known better than to assume Nori wouldn't be nearby.

"I'll live." She dismissed, despite the rather obvious contradiction to her claim. "My leg is twisted and there will be no shortage of bumps and bruises tomorrow, but I'll be fine."

"You're covered in troll." He commented, a quirk of his lips the only sign of his amusement at her predicament.

"Yes, I am well aware, thank you." She sighed. "I am going to be in dire need to clean myself in the near future, or I may riot and go find a creek on my own."

"Good luck escaping Dori." Nori snorted. "After this stunt, he'll be smothering you."

"I doubt it. Not while the cantankerous idiot over there is still hovering." Bilba shook her head, gesturing in Gandalf and Thorin's direction. For now, there appeared to be peace- or what could count as peace- but she was sure it would only last so long.

Not for the first time, she wanted to be able to simply earn an embrace from Dori. She felt she rather needed one, after the events of the day and night they'd had. Against her will, her traitorous eyes watered; sniffling, she wiped them away before anyone else could see.

"Bilba?"

"I'm fine." She said immediately. "I just miss being able to enjoy your company without fearing what the consequences would be."

Nori's features softened fractionally as he carefully tucked her into his side, for all intents and purposes appearing to be checking her over as Bilba soaked in the comfortable touch. Hobbits were much more touchy-feely than dwarves, she'd noted. Being so isolated like this made it that much harder to be near her dwarves without wanting to simply be in their spaces.

"Thorin and Gandalf have found a cave nearby." Bofur announced, providing the perfect opportunity to part and readjust themselves. "Shall we go take a look?"

The group migrated through a path in the brush along the rock until it sunk down into a large, dark hole. It reeked of the same foul odor that the trolls had been emitting, leaving Bilba's stomach turning as she shook her head and turned away.

"I have had quite enough of trolls in any form for today, thank you very much." She said firmly, peering over her shoulder for a moment and resisting the urge to shudder at the thought the dwarves were willing to venture into the cave. "I'll sit out here and wait for you."

"Aye, I think we'll be joining you." Dori muttered, brushing off dirt from his tunic with a look of distaste on his features. "I've had enough of that for more than enough time."

Bifure chuckled, pointing to her state of dress as if to emphasize a point, the sounds of those who were willing to go into the cave echoing back up to them.

"Yes, I know what I'm covered in, Bifur." She sighed. "Though I wish I weren't."

"Alright, Miss Baggins. Take a seat. I saw you limping up here." Oin clucked his tongue, pushing Bilba until she was forced to sit on the rock that Ori had taken up as a seat. "Anything hurt I should know about?"

"Everything." Bilba sighed, squeaking as Oin got to work prodding at the sensitive tissue of her bad leg before checking her over for any other less obvious signs of injury. Satisfied with what he found, he pat her on the shoulder before moving over to where a couple of the others were pawing through the trinkets and other assorted objects the trolls had collected. She didn't want to think of where some of those things had come from.

She couldn't help but close her eyes, leaning against Ori's shoulder in an attempt to gain some measure of rest.

-;-

"Bilba."

She started awake, blinking as the wizard approached with what appeared to be a sword of some kind.

"Here. This is about your size." The wizard hummed, pressing the sheathed blade into her hands. It showed signs of being covered in grime, but as she brushed off some of it to examine the blade more closely, she could tell the craftsmanship was impeccable. It was likely no more than a letter opener to larger races, but given its weight in her hands she suspected it would be near perfectly suited to her stature.

"I can't take this." She shook her head. She could only imagine how such a weapon would come to rest in a troll's hoard, and she didn't like it at all.

"The blade is of Elvish make, which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby." Gandalf said, his brows raising to new heights under the brim of his hat.

"I have never used a sword in my life." She warned him.

"And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this. True courage is not knowing when to take a life, but when to spare one." He offered a small, cryptic smile as Bilba furrowed her brows, curious to know what prompted him to say such things.

Then again, he was a wizard.

"Something's coming!"

Yavanna, was there no end to the luck of this company?

"Stick together!" Gandalf called over the sounds of weapons being drawn and dwarves being stirred up into a fuss. Bilba drew the blade out of the sheath, wondering why the bright metal brought such a strong sensation of something pressing at the back of her mind. She joined the company at the base of the hill, where their surroundings offered slightly more defense against an opponent.

Another wizard appearing was not something that she had expected. Nor anyone else, judging from their expressions as the brown-clad figure burst out of the trees, riding on a sled pulled by very, very large rabbits.

Gandalf had spoken in passing about other wizards- from the looks of things, this was the Brown wizard of the forest.

As far as first impressions went?

Not the worst, to be honest. Radagast seemed to be a bit out of touch with the world around him, but he was eager enough to speak to Gandalf about goings-on in his forest to the East. It left the dwarves uneasy as the pair of wizards moved away from the group to speak more in depth. Thorin and Dwalin seemed the most intent on being close to that conversation without being obvious about it; which of course failed, given their demeanors.

Bilba couldn't shake the sense of something being amiss. Something was wrong, and she couldn't discern where, what or why.

It almost felt like one of her visions. But to her knowledge, she hadn't seen any of this come to pass, which only made her more unsettled.

Bifur and Dori both picked up on it, the elder dwarrow flanking her as she rubbed at her calf while she mulled over her thoughts.

So deep in thought, she almost missed the howl. But she knew that sound better than most. Bilba's head snapped up, eyes roving the trees as several more echoed off of the trees.

"Wargs." She breathed, hand going to the sword she had strapped over her skirts. Ice flowed through her veins at the thought that they were being hunted by wargs. It usually meant that orcs would be close behind.

Several things happened in quick succession following that statement.

One warg leapt from behind, quickly dispatched by several weapons. Another from behind Thorin- Kili shot it in the flank before Dwalin finished it off.

"Warg scouts." Thorin growled, looking around to the company. "An orc pack won't be far behind."

And there was the part that Bilba had been so hoping wasn't going to come out of his mouth.

"Who did you tell about your quest?" Gandalf demanded, rejoining the group with a nervous looking Radagast in his shadow. "Beyond your kin."

"No one." Thorin replied, looking as rattled as Bilba had managed to see him yet.

"Who did you tell?"

"No one, I swear!" Thorin barked back. "What in Durin's name is going on?"

"You are being hunted." Gandalf snapped back, eyes roving the surrounding treeline as if to make some unseen foe appear. His grip on his staff tightened as he glanced to the other wizard.

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin stated, looking just as tense as the rest of them.

"We can't! We have no ponies- they bolted!" Ori cried out, appearing from the top of the hill. He and Bombur had been sent to retrieve the startled creatures and the packs from their camp- apparently it seemed that they would not have an advantage on horseback.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast volunteered immediately, clutching onto his staff.

"These are Gundabad wargs! They will outrun you." Gandalf scoffed. For the first time since the other wizard had arrived, his composure was cracked, leaving the statement hanging in the air with a derisive look.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I'd like to see them try." Radagast smirked.