FIFTY

"Yes! Yes!"

I was practically jumping up and down, and I wasn't the only one. I heard Madam M shouting, too, and when I looked over at her, we both shared a smile and laughed together. I'd known Jessie would win, but it still felt great to see her actually do it. She stood there in the middle of the arena, bruised and bleeding but still a winner as she gave everyone, gave me, a big thumbs up and grinned. And while I knew she probably couldn't see me from down there, I beamed and gave her one in return, so happy for her I wanted to burst.

"It's been a helluva night, ladies and gentlemen," Kotch announced. "One that'll surely go down in history!"

"But we're not done yet!" Scotch added.

Kotch nodded as he and Scotch joined Firebrand out in the middle of the arena. "Not even close! There'll be a short intermission, and then we'll have a very special surprise for you!"

"The fighting's over, but the fun's just begun!" Scotch said.

"So don't even think about going home yet, or you might just miss the biggest event Midgar's seen in years!" Kotch boomed.

While he and Scotch encouraged everyone to buy souvenirs in the gift shop, Firebrand made her way slowly out of the arena and into the tunnel. She was putting on a tough front, but even I could see how hurt she was. As if she'd read my mind, Madam M beckoned to me with her fan, and I walked over to see what she wanted.

"Come, Lydia," she told me. "Firebrand needs us."

I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Gladly!"

Leaving the trophy with my parents for now, I followed Madam M out of the booth and into a hall that led to the elevator we'd taken to get here earlier. Once we got inside, Madam M touched one of the buttons on the panel, and we headed down. When we got to the bottom level a minute later, the doors opened and we stepped out into a wide hall that must've been the waiting area for the fighters. Madam M and I hurried down to the far end just in time to see Jessie stumble through the open gate, holding onto herself as she went.

"Firebrand!" I called.

She looked up with a pained smirk as she limped toward us. "Hey, guys! Damn, am I…glad you're here…"

Madam M slid an arm around her waist to help support her. "Easy now. You've gone through quite the ordeal tonight, my friend. It'll take half an hour or so for the staff to clean up all the wreckage out there, so you'll have some time to rest and recover."

"We're here to help," I added.

As I held onto her from the other side, Jessie laid her arms around our shoulders and smiled gratefully at us. "Thanks. I could… really go for some of that… right about now."

The gatekeeper, a guy wearing a wide-brimmed wrangler's hat and shades, gazed at her in both admiration and worry. "That was… I don't even have the words! You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "No worries."

"Just have a seat in the waiting room over there," he said, pointing. "I'll go get you a few things from that vending machine down the hall. Medicines and stuff, you know? Won't take long."

Jessie nodded. "I appreciate it."

Together, Madam M and I helped Jessie walk over to the room that the gatekeeper had told us about. There was a table and a few chairs in there, and we eased her into one of them as carefully as we could. Jessie leaned back and let out a long, tired sigh as she sat down. When we let go of her, she chuckled softly and rubbed her arm.

"I need a vacation…" she joked.

I laughed. "I'll bet. That thing really did a number on you."

She winked. "Still kicked its ass, though."

"You sure did!" I agreed.

"Most impressively, at that," Madam M added. "Now, Lydia, there's a washroom with supplies near the end of the hall. I'll need you to grab towels, a few cloths, ice, and some water."

I gave Jessie's hand a little squeeze, then hurried off to get what we needed to take care of her. It didn't take long—the washroom was right where Madam M had said it was, and it was well-stocked, probably for the fighters to see to their injuries and clean up between matches. I saw a little cart sitting nearby and quickly got everything together. Then, as I wheeled it out with all the stuff on it, I saw the gatekeeper walking up the hall with a handful of bottles and vials.

When we got back to the waiting room, Madam M had me put the cart where we could both reach it as we sat on either side of Jessie. And while I took one of the cloths, wet it, and started cleaning the blood off and dabbing at some of her bruises, Madam M wrapped another cloth in ice, then gave it to Jessie to use as a compress. At the same time, the gatekeeper set his stuff down on the table, then sorted through it, took one of those stronger potions, and opened it.

"Better?" Madam M asked.

Jessie sighed in relief and nodded as she held the cold cloth against her shoulder. "Oh, yeah… feels good. But you guys really don't have to do all this. I can take care of myself."

Madam M chuckled and shook her head as she and I continued to clean Jessie's injuries. "I'm sure you can, but not right now. We'll handle this, Jessie. So just rest. You've earned it."

"Guess I've got no choice," she laughed, wincing as she did.

"Not at all," I grinned.

The gatekeeper held out the potion. "Here."

"Thanks," Jessie said, taking it and drinking it down in a few gulps. "Never did get your name, by the way."

"It's Wyatt," he told her. "What about yours?"

She smiled. "Jessie."

He tipped his hat to her. "It's good to meet you, Jessie. Don't worry, alright? We're gonna get you all fixed up."

"You too, Wyatt," Jessie nodded. "And thanks again."

"Not a problem!" he gushed.

Looked like she'd gotten herself another admirer. I could tell Wyatt was into her, and she probably could, too, but I just focused on treating her injuries and decided not worry about it. Madam M kept quiet, too, but I was sure she'd seen it as well. The poor guy wasn't really trying to hide it. But Jessie was way outta his league. Not to mention crazy about Cloud. It was so cute, and I was glad she had someone special like that. I knew she'd at least let Wyatt down easy, though.

Then I thought of something. "Hey, Jessie. Do you feel up to using that Restore materia of yours? It might help."

"Yeah, it definitely would," she agreed. "But I used up all my energy and ethers fighting that thing. No more magic for me until I get a good night's sleep and restock my supplies."

I smiled. "That's okay. We'll take care of you."

She took my hand for a moment. "Thanks, Lydia. I appreciate you coming down here to help me out."

"You were there for me when I was hurt," I said. "So I'm glad I can do the same for you, Jessie. You… you've helped us all so much, helped me. Now it's my turn to be there for you."

"Then I'm in good hands," Jessie grinned.

Along with helping me clean Jessie's injuries, Madam M massaged her arms and legs a little where they were hurt to help them feel better and loosen them up some. Between that, the ice pack, and the potions and aspirin that Wyatt had brought from the vending machine, we got her fixed up pretty good and feeling a lot better. And soon enough, she was looking and sounding as great as ever.

When we were done, Jessie dried herself off with one of the towels while Madam M worked on my shoulder a little where I'd been shot. It had been sore all night, and I hadn't been able to stretch that arm very far without some pain. But after she was finished, it didn't hurt so bad, and I was able to move it around a bit more.

"That should help for now," she told me. "But you'll still need more treatment to restore your full range of motion and really heal, Lydia. So I expect to see you at my parlor this week."

"I'll be there," I promised.

Jessie stood up—a lot more steadily this time—and smiled. "Well, I think it's about that time, guys. I really appreciate all your help. Dunno what I would've done withoutcha!"

I laughed. "Anytime, Firebrand. Happy to help!"

"As am I," Madam M agreed. "Your public awaits, my friend. As for me, I'll be heading back upstairs to the booth now. No way am I going to miss this. It's sure to be quite a show."

"One to remember!" Jessie agreed, lifting her finger.

I waved happily. "Good luck!"

"Not so fast, Lydia," I smirked.

She blinked. "Huh?"

Lydia had been all set to go with Madam M back to the booth, but I had something special planned for her. A surprise, you might say. Of course, Madam M knew about it—I'd talked about my plans for tonight with her and the rest of the Trio all week, getting it all set up. And now it was time to go out there and make it happen.

I grinned. "I think you oughta just stay here with me."

"Sure, but… why?" Lydia wondered.

"You'll see," I teased.

We all went back into the main hall, and from there Madam M left after giving us a little nod. When she was gone, I had Lydia go with me over to the gate. Wyatt was already there and ready to open it again, his eyes lighting up when I came over.

"Hey, Jessie!" he said. "All set to go back in?"

I nodded. "Yep! You know the drill."

Wyatt pressed the switch, and the gate slid open. "Are you seriously doing another fight? After how hard the last one was? I mean, not that you can't do it if you want. You're the best!"

I smiled. "Thanks! But it's not a fight this time."

"Can't wait to see it, whatever it is!" he laughed. "Anyway, uh… you wouldn't happen to be single, would ya? I'd love to buy you a drink and hang out sometime. If you're up for it, that is."

I'd been expecting something like this ever since he'd told me what his name was. Seemed like I'd really gone up in his estimation since I'd been here. Of course, I knew it was just a fanboy crush, but I still didn't wanna hurt his feelings. He'd gladly helped me out tonight, and I really was grateful for everything he'd done for me.

I answered as gently as I could. "That's really sweet, Wyatt, and I'm flattered, but… my heart's already taken."

He sighed. "Ah, man. Guess I should've known."

"Hey, at least you had the guts to try," I encouraged him. "Just keep that up and you'll find someone special yourself. I bet lots of girls here would enjoy spending some time with you."

"Thanks," Wyatt said. "And I'm happy for ya. Whoever your guy is, he's really damn lucky to have ya. Good luck with your show, Jessie. I'll be watching from here. And anytime you wanna come back down here and kick some more ass, just let me know."

I leaned in and gave him a little peck on the cheek. "Will do. See ya around, Wyatt. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Y-Yeah!" he gasped. "You bet!"

With a little wave, I went with Lydia into the tunnel. And just as I'd planned, the staff member had a microphone ready for me as soon as I got to the far end. Lydia's eyes went wide when the second gate opened, and I couldn't help giggling a little. She wasn't used to seeing the arena from here. All the debris from the hell house had been cleaned up, and the place was clean and clear again. Kotch and Scotch were out there as well, and the crowd was full and ready.

"Wow…" Lydia murmured, taking it all in. "I never thought I'd get to see it like this. It's so different…"

"Cool, isn't it?" I said.

She nodded. "Oh, yeah! Totally!"

"Good," I grinned. "Now, just wait right here until I tell you, okay? Then I'll want you to come out and join me."

"O-Out there?" Lydia gulped. "In front of everyone?"

I took her shoulder. "Yeah. Don't worry, Lydia. You'll be fine."

She swallowed. "Okay. I'll try…"

"Awesome!" I gave her a thumbs up. "See ya soon!"

Then I winked and walked out into the arena. As soon as I did, the crowd cheered again, shouting and clapping, and I waved at them with my free hand and smiled. It went on for a good five minutes as I joined Kotch and Scotch in the middle, and it only died down when they both brought up their mics and got started.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Kotch began. "The unforgettable once-in-a-lifetime event you've been waiting for!"

"Although the coliseum is a place full of incredible action, combat, and bloodshed," Scotch continued, "we have something else in store for you tonight. A show like none you've ever seen!"

Kotch swept his arm out as he looked up at the crowd. "And at the center of it is our champion, the powerhouse punisher we all know and love as Firebrand! But she has another name, one that's beloved all over Midgar. And she wants to share it with all of you!"

Scotch took over. "So put your hands together, folks, and give it up for our incredible and amazing champion! Who is none other than the long-lost leading lady of LOVELESS herself!"

"Midgar's sweetheart returns!" Kotch boomed.

"We give you the one, the only…" Scotch announced.

They finished together. "Jessie Jae!"

There was a mix of stunned amazement and furious applause, and then the arena went dim as Kotch and Scotch quickly hurried away off to the side. A moment later, a spotlight shone on me as I stood right in the middle, and then the music began. I'd known that I couldn't simply say I was Jessie Jae. I had to show it, to prove it beyond any doubt. So I had decided to hold a little post-victory concert, and for more reasons than just to reveal who I really was.

I started with Sarah's Lament. It was one of the play's most beloved songs, and my rendition of it had been a smash hit during the years I'd been on stage. So I knew my voice would definitely be recognized. This piece wasn't some typical chirpy upbeat pop number, either. Instead, it was a slow and hauntingly beautiful melody.

It was about how, after her lover left home with her brother and his friend to search for the fabled Gift of the Goddess, Sarah stayed behind to tend to her dying mother, whose only wish was to see her son again. But that wasn't possible, and so she asked Sarah to sing this song to her before she returned to the planet. It was an old Cetra piece that Sarah's mother had often sung to her as a lullaby when she was a child. And as I sang it now, my voice rising up along with the music, I thought of my own mom and how much I missed her.

Hahren na melana sahlin (Mother, your time has come)
Emma ir abelas (Now I am filled with sorrow)
Souver'inan isala hamin (Weary eyes need resting)

As I sang the words that I knew so well and had been practicing all week, I gazed into the stands and saw my friends. They were there just as I knew they'd be, Wedge and Lena holding hands and Kunsel nearby with his arm around Marissa. Biggs was there, too, a look of wonder on his face. He hadn't heard me sing like this in a long time. None of them had. But like everyone else, they were really caught up in it. As I sang, I took a few steps and turned in a slow circle, my eyes sweeping over the Trio's booth and the rest of the audience.

I'd almost forgotten how talented a singer Jessica was, but as Janice, Cait Sith, and I all sat together in my office and watched on the screen as she performed, I remembered how much it had always meant to her, how wonderful she'd been on stage. She had a way of really drawing in the audience and immersing them in the story, through her acting and her music. It was part of why everyone had loved her.

Vhenan him dor'felas (The heart has become gray and slow)
In uthenera na revas (In waking sleep is freedom)

On the other monitor, Scarlet and Heidegger were watching it, too. As I'd figured, Scarlet didn't seem all that interested. She just shook her head and looked away after a moment or two. Heidegger, however, was another matter. He just sat there, totally absorbed, staring at the image of his daughter as if he'd never seen her before. And I realized then that this was the first time he'd ever heard her sing. He'd never watched her plays when she was growing up and had never seen her perform. Until now. And he seemed utterly transfixed.

Returning my gaze to the other monitor, I found myself engrossed in Jessica's performance myself. So much so that I almost didn't realize it when my hand brushed lightly up against Janice's. I hadn't meant for it to happen, but when it did, our eyes met. Neither of us said anything, and for a moment, I couldn't look away. Then she smiled and blushed a little before returning her gaze to the monitor. My gaze lingered on her for a bit longer, though, my feelings uncertain.

Janice was my personal assistant, of course, but also my friend and confidant. And the only person in Shinra that I knew I could trust. She hadn't always been here—Janice had first begun working for me almost a year before Jessica had left—but we had bonded very quickly and felt the same concerns about what we did and who we worked for. And as I looked at her, I wondered for the first time if maybe we might one day become something more than what we were.

And I found that I didn't mind.

In the main conference room at General Affairs, we all watched as, on the large screen mounted on the far wall, Jessica continued to sing. I stood with my arms folded in front of me and doubt in my mind. Reno was still on the sofa, but he was sitting up now, his eyes locked onto the screen. Elena sat at the table with Rude, her conflicting emotions clear on her face. I understood, of course, but I also knew that she would do her job. As for Rude, his face was as unreadable as ever behind his dark sunglasses as Jessica's voice filled the room.

Vir sulan'nehn (We sing, we rejoice)
Vir dithera (We tell the tales)
Vir samath la numin (We laugh and cry)
Vir lath sa'vunin (We love one more day)

You might wonder why I'm here, why we've been invited to be part of this project. But as Reno mentioned before, we're here to share what happened all those years ago, even if we were on the wrong side of it. It hasn't been easy, and we've done all we can since then to atone for what we did back then. This is part of that. And it's as much for us as it is for you. So listen well, and learn from our mistakes.

As I continued to watch Jessica perform, I thought of the role that I had played in her mother's death so many years ago. Following orders, you might say. But those words felt hollow as I stood there. Although I hadn't done the deed myself—her father had pulled the trigger—I had still helped set it all up. The others didn't know. Reno and Rude hadn't been part of it. I'd made certain they were on another assignment. And Elena hadn't even been a Turk back then.

Then I thought of Aerith. She'd helped Jessica escape from the trap I'd set for her on the plate that night years ago, and even then, I'd found myself glad for her unexpected intervention. Heidegger's orders hadn't mentioned what he intended for Jessica, but it hadn't been difficult for me to figure it out. I'd felt trapped by them, however, just as when I had ordered those soldiers to sabotage her mother's train. They'd bound me in the pillar as well. Orders and duty. But they couldn't erase the guilt. I wondered if anything ever could.

As I continued to sing, I lost myself in the music, in the memories of my days on stage. It felt so good to be doing this again, even if it was just for one night. Maybe someday I'd find a way to truly return, but at least I'd have this until then. I only wished Cloud could've been here to see it. And the others, too, of course, but him most of all. I missed him so much. It had been almost three weeks since he'd left, the longest that we'd ever been apart. Like Sarah, I was separated from the man I loved. But I knew I'd see him again one day.

Vir sulan'nehn (We sing, we rejoice)
Vir dithera (We tell the tales)
Vir samath la numin (We laugh and cry)
Vir lath sa'vunin (We love one more day)

When the last note had faded away, there was a moment of almost awed silence as the people in the audience finally realized that it really was Jessie Jae that they were seeing, that I really was her. And then, the cheers and applause were so loud they filled the whole coliseum. They kept at it for minutes, on and on. It was almost overwhelming, and all I could do was just stand there and take it in.

Deep in the marshes, I sat with Aerith and the others around what was left of the fire. The rain had actually stopped for a while, although I was sure it would be back by morning. But at least we'd gotten a bit of a reprieve. None of us said much, not even Barret. All of us were worn out from our encounter with the Midgarsormyr.

Aerith and Tifa were on either side of me, while Barret and Red sat on the other side of the fire across from us, completing the circle. We'd come a long way so far, and tomorrow we'd finally get outta this place if our luck held. I wanted to talk about that and make a plan before we all turned in for the night, but not just yet. First, I just wanted to rest for a while and not think too much about why we were out here. Or how far away I was from Midgar. And from her.

Almost unconsciously, I reached up to touch the star pendant that Jessie had given me. It still hung around my neck on its chain, and as I held it in both hands and gazed at it, I thought about her, missed her. It was harder than I'd expected, being apart. Aerith smiled encouragingly at me but didn't say anything, perceptive as always. And as I looked up at the night sky, I wondered what Jessie was doing now, where she was, and if she was thinking about me, too.

When I brought up the mic I was holding, the cheers and applause finally subsided as an expectant hush swept over the crowd. Ever since Andrea had told me about the tournament, I'd been looking forward to this moment. Not so much for myself, really, but for how I could use it to help so many others like me who'd suffered through the devastation of the plate collapse. Of course, that didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun while I was at it. And I intended to.

I grinned up at the audience and waved with my other hand. "How ya doing, Midgar? Having fun tonight?"

Their cheers were like thunder, and once they'd finished, I went on. "Awesome! You guys are great, you know that? I've had a blast out here myself! And as thrilled as I am about—"

There was an abrupt whine of feedback, and I had to hold the mic away for a moment before it finally went away. When I brought it back, I couldn't help chuckling about the little hiccup. "Guess I'm gonna have to get used to this again, aren't I?"

"Anyway," I said once the crowd's laughter had died down. "What I meant to say is that as thrilled as I am about being here tonight with all of you, I'm afraid I'll be leaving Midgar for a while. Tomorrow, in fact. But before I go, I could really use your help."

I went on, my gaze sweeping across the crowd. "You see, there are a lot of people out there right now, hurt, hungry, and homeless ever since the plate fell. I was one of them. Sector 7 was my home, just like it was for so many others. But it's gone now, along with too many friends and loved ones. And those who survived need us."

"So, I'm gonna sing a few more songs," I said. "And while I'm doing that, the coliseum staff'll be going around collecting donations. When the baskets come along, please give whatever you can, okay? It's gonna go toward bringing food, supplies, medicine, and more to the survivors of Sector 7. Whatever they need to rebuild their homes and lives. And I wanna thank the Trio for overseeing this."

"And not only that," I continued, "they've also generously agreed to donate ten percent of the profits from tonight's tournament as well. It's a good start, but we'll need your help, too."

The amount of the Trio's donation had originally been five percent, but Andrea had agreed to double it if I won the tournament. And that's what I had been fighting for, even more than myself and my own need to know that I could stand alongside Cloud and others and help them. And now, not only had I proven myself, I'd also won that extra money that had been promised, which would go toward helping everybody in and around what was left of Sector 7.

"And now, on with the show!" I smirked. Then I turned to the gate. "But I think I might need a little help with this next one. Mind coming out here and giving me a hand, Lydia?"

Her eyes went as huge as I'd expected, and her jaw dropped. Then, a little hesitantly at first, she walked out into the arena. Nervous as hell, no doubt, but I knew I could help with that. With a smile, I gestured to her, and she came over to stand beside me, holding the mic that one of the staff had given her while she'd still been in the tunnel. Lydia looked at the crowd in awe, then at me again.

"This is…" she breathed. "I… I never imagined…"

I took her shoulder and whispered to her. "Deep breaths. You'll be fine, trust me! Forget about the crowd and just focus on the music. You know the song, Lydia. And the words. I'll be right here with you, okay? So don't worry. You're gonna be great!"

She nodded, keeping her voice down, too. "Okay, Firebrand. I'll do my best, I promise. And… thanks so much."

"No problem!" I winked.

Lydia grinned in return, then settled herself into position just a few feet away, enough that we each had plenty of space. Then, as the music started, we brought our mics back up. This song was a duet, a cheerful and more upbeat number from early in the play. It was shared between Sarah and her younger sister when the family was still whole and their brother hadn't left yet on his long quest.

I'd heard Lydia sing now and then during my time in Wall Market, and I knew she could do this. She had a good voice, really good, and I'd wanted to give her a chance to show it off. I knew the look of a hopeful performer when I saw it. I'd seen my share of it during my audition for LOVELESS years ago, and it had been there in Lydia's eyes at the clinic this morning, too. The longing I'd heard in her voice when she'd talked about how well she knew the songs had been unmistakeable, and it had stirred my own love of the music as well.

I started things off, the notes as comfortable and familiar as the old friends they were. Then Lydia joined in, her voice a bit unsteady at first as her nerves threatened to overwhelm her. But I just gave her another little smile to encourage her. She gladly returned it, took a deep breath in between notes, and relaxed, losing herself in the music the more she sang. And when she did, her voice grew surer and stronger, just like I'd known it would, and she never missed a beat.

Lydia hit her solo perfectly, her voice carrying the notes all the way to the ceiling. Then I did mine, the words of the song filling the whole coliseum before we finally finished the piece together again, each of us holding an arm high and out. When the last notes had faded, applause crashed over us like a tidal wave, the cheers deafening as everyone was on their feet. And I'd never seen Lydia happier.

I put an arm around her and smirked as we waved up at the crowd. "Don't look now, but I think you're a hit!"

The lyrics and melody of "Sarah's Lament" are from "Leliana's Song"
(from the Dragon Age: Origins soundtrack) by Inon Zur and Aubrey Ashburn.
All credit goes to them for their wonderful work.

Although the lyrics are unchanged, herethe song comes from the Cetra
instead of the Dalish elves of Dragon Age. The translation is the same,
but with one minor change. I used "Mother" instead of "Elder"
in the first verse to better fit the story I'm telling.

You can listen to the song on Youtube.
Just copy & paste this after the main Youtube address:
watch?v=EAANKFPchtA