I hate thinking about the day that Brady died for exactly five reasons and they're all so inexplicably tangled that thinking of one always leads to the other. The first is obvious: Brady's gone. Not just like on vacation, but gone gone, and I feel his absence every day. It's like a scab I can't stop picking. The second is that that's the day that Leah joined the pack. I first felt her on the run back from the Cullens' and I haven't been able to tune out her complaining since then. The third, in direct correlation, is that Edward Cullen told me that he's been able to read my mind. For the last week, I've been doing everything I can to avoid him, but it's just not possible. After finding that out, no one else will go on patrol with him except Seth, who gets a kick out of it, and he's only fifteen so he hasn't exactly been allowed to go that often-not that I blame Sue Clearwater for stopping him after what happened to Brady. Edward's just a leech and I shouldn't care, but I can't stop thinking of all the heinous shit I've definitely thought around and about him since this whole mess started. The fourth is that our patrols have gotten to be more and more concerning since we haven't heard or seen any of Albion's coven since Brady's death but kids keep going through the change so they're definitely still around. This time, it was Collin's little sister. She's only twelve. No one wants to say it, but I think all of us are thinking that that bastard's somehow found a way to make more of his kind.
And the final and most immediate pain up my ass is that because of the entire situation, the pack still stands divided. As of now, Seth, Embry, and Quil answer to me, even though I've told them not to and Paul, Jared, and Collin stand with Sam. Leah answers to no one but herself, but I think she thinks of Sam as alpha because he's older. Fine by me.
Even so, there's a rift in me every time Billy looks at me-like he knows that I'm not fulfilling my great-grandfather's legacy or something like that. I can't stand it. The worst part is that it feels almost right to call the shots-Sam's been trying to find a way to back out of the pact ever since Brady died, but shifters never go back on their word. We're Quileute-protecting others against the Cold Ones like Albion is in our blood.
"You know," Seth says, appearing in my window. "Edward's not that bad."
I toss him a pair of pants and a shirt for good measure to cover up his gangly ass.
"He definitely is," I say, ignoring him and trying to push all thoughts of Edward Cullen's statue-like hands out of my head as if he could read my mind. "Guy's a creep who can read minds."
"It's not like he can help it, boss," Seth says, taking a seat on my bed.
"Don't call me that," I say through gritted teeth.
"I don't say it around Sam," he says with a shrug. "Plus, you're the rightful heir. Who cares who shifted first?"
"Sam does," I say.
"Yeah, but Sam's trying to pull out of the new treaty and that's just a bad look."
"Did you come in here to just tell me things I already know?" I ask. I don't tell him that I'm almost grateful that he did since before, I had just been staring at a picture of me and Brady that he took last year the day we had both found old bikes at the junkyard.
"No. I came in here to tell you that Edward and Carlisle are going to look for Albion. Alone."
That gets my attention. "Why? He'll come out of hiding eventually. We've basically been starving them."
"Edward's worried that they're planning something big and he wanted to do reconnaissance."
"Albion's coven will rip the two of them apart," I say, already standing, unsure why the thought panics me. "Stay here," I command.
Seth looks at me as if I've shot him. "You have to let me come with."
"Absolutely not," I say, grabbing a pair of khaki pants-why do I even own these?-and rolling them up.
"But-"
"Listen to me: your mom scares me more than any leech coven, okay? Stay put." With that, I launch myself out the window, letting the change overtake me.
Where do you think you're going? Sam's voice immediately chimes in.
To help Edward and Carlisle.
By going alone they're violating the pact. We need to end this here.
No. They're doing what we won't-getting to the root of the problem, and I won't let them go alone.
Is this all they talk about? Leah annoyingly chimes in. How do you get anything done?
Shut up , Embry says. Jake, we're coming with you.
No, I almost shout. It's a recon mission-why is that so hard for everyone to understand? The less the better. Edward should have taken me or Carlisle should have taken Sam. It's a problem that concerns all of us. I don't know what the two of them were even thinking.
Leech-lover, Sam growls, which just caps off my annoyance.
You want to do this? Fine. I'll be back in La Push by sundown to put you in your place.
Watch yourself, Jared snarls.
Fine. Go help them, Sam responds. I'll be here waiting. Just remember that if something happens to you, the pack can't take another loss so soon after Brady. I can't take another loss. With that punch to my gut, Sam disappears and I'm left with the non-stop yammering of the pack as I race towards Seattle, following Edward's scent.
I find them surprisingly fast, almost startling them. They're just miles from Seattle and from the smell of it, just as far away from what little remains of Albion's coven.
"Jacob Black," the tall blond who I assume to be Carlisle says, rising from his crouched position in the trees as I shift back to human. He's in a crisp white button-down and khaki slacks as if he was about to start his shift at the hospital. For all that we've done together in the last month, I've never met him. He's attractive in the same unearthly way that all the Cullen leeches are and-and I immediately shut down that train of thought as the corner of Edward's mouth turns up.
Oh, shove it, I think, which only causes his grin to widen.
"I didn't expect to see you here," Carlisle says, his voice even. From this angle, he looks almost human. He certainly feels the most human of the bunch.
"You two entered Albion's territory without one of us at your side. Sam already thinks that this is grounds to end our pact."
Carlisle frowns at this, looking genuinely upset by the news. "Sam has expressed his concerns to me about the nature of the new pact you made through Edward. I assure you, we meant only to scout to see if he is weak enough to take down. Even now, Quil and Emmett should be on their way to continue the patrol of their grounds, just as scheduled."
"Sam doesn't see it that way and…" My eyes involuntarily flick to Edward's obscenely yellow ones. "...and I don't think you should have come alone. It's dangerous. Have you considered that they might not be alone long enough to feed but just long enough to make more of themselves?"
Edward's smile falters as if he didn't expect concern from my end. What a pretentious asshole. After sparing me the trial of dealing with my own pack after Brady's death, he thought I would just let the favor go unreturned and leave them to deal with this possibility alone. He lifts an eyebrow when I call him a pretentious asshole, and it makes me dislike him even more.
"Your concern is noted," Edward begins, but before he can finish, something fast slams into him, pinning him down. I'm frozen in place. I've become too accustomed to their scent. I should've smelled this coming from a mile away, but I was too distracted by Edward's arrogance. Before I can react, I'm on my back, suddenly looking into the pitch-black eyes of a leech. Dark veins encircle its eyes and its fangs are bared. I buck it off of me, letting the change take me so that I can twist to grab its arm in my jaws, but it's fast. Another rams into the side of my head and a third lands on my back, its mouth dangerously close to the same place Daralis had bit me. How many of them are there?
Suddenly, the weight is gone and I'm pulled back until I'm standing back-to-back with Carlisle and Edward.
Three leeches face us. They all look like they've been starved, the same black veins running thick down their faces, and one has blood on its lips. It isn't mine so one of the Cullens is hurt. An annoying shot of worry slips through my adrenaline, and I'm not here for it right now.
"Welcome back, Carlisle Cullen," says a voice like rain on water. "It looks like this time you have brought one of the shapeshifters with you. How pleasant. Your treaty has caused quite the stir amongst my people, you know."
The grossest-looking leech I've ever seen steps out from the forest. He looks like he just crawled out from a cave after a thousand years with skin that's almost translucent and hair as white as fresh snow that stands in stark contrast to the black pits of his eyes and the dark veins ringing them. More so than that, he is rancid. I have no idea how I missed a stench so strong.
"I am sure you know by now that my people are starving. So much so that they have no qualms about what they drink at this point." The leech-Albion, I assume-gently strokes the head of one of the leeches as you would a pets', and my skin crawls. "It is too bad that shapeshifter blood is too toxic for our kind. The young one we killed would have at least satiated a few of us for a while." The thought of Brady dying at the hand of this creature sends a spike of hot fury through me and I can feel Edward tense behind me.
"You can end all of this right now," Carlisle says, slowly. "Just leave this area and we won't interfere again. We've both suffered losses."
"No. No, we have not. Not yet, Carlisle Cullen. We have lost three and you still have all of your coven. You do not know pain like we do, but you will. You will. Until then, I will leave my people to do with you as they please. You may find them not so agreeable in this state." With that, Albion lays a kiss atop the head of the nearest leech and my stomach turns.
Almost like he is the eye in the center of a massive storm, as soon as he leaves, chaos erupts around us again. The nearest leech lunges for me, and I tear into him, covering my mouth in sickening blood. Despite his wound, he is still reaching for me, his nails digging into my chest and legs and leaving a trail of blood. I snap at him, but he's fast. So fast that when his grip crushes my back leg, it takes me a moment to understand that it's the same leech. I let out a sound that was meant to be a howl, but comes out more like a whimper as pain shoots up my leg and into my spine. It's so much that I almost shift again. These motherfuckers are strong-way stronger than the creatures Edward and I killed. If they're this strong when they're starving, I'm scared to think of how they are at full strength.
"Enough," says a calm, but stern voice. It's enough to get the attention of the leeches around me. Carlisle holds the pieces of a mangled corpse. Blood stains his mouth, but there is a righteous fury in his eyes that makes even me take a step back. "Tell your master that he's lost one more. You two are the last standing. If he wants to keep you, he should leave," Carlisle says, spitting blood into the mud at his feet.
The same leeches that were winning just moments ago, turn tail and run. Edward looks just as bad as I do, if not worse. Bite and claw marks litter his torso and arms and his exhaustion is apparent from the haggard look in his eyes.
After they are long gone, Carlisle shakes his head, his eyes turning mournful. With a sigh, he motions to Edward, who runs into the woods and is back within minutes with a container of lighter fluid. Burning the body takes longer than the actual fight did, and I can feel my bones knitting together again as the flames consume the leech.
"Thank you," Carlisle says once he's cleaned the blood from his mouth. "Without a third, we probably wouldn't have survived that. How is your leg?"
I nod since I can't speak in my wolf form. Hopefully, they'll heed my warning after this. There are still three more out there, and now they're desperate. The truth is, after these last few weeks, I'm not sure it's necessary to keep the new pact. At this point, the pack could in theory, get rid of Albion and his people, but lately, something in me has been telling me that we should keep the new pact with the Cullens. Even without a common enemy, neither Carlisle nor Edward seem to be the type to go back on their word. They haven't in the hundred years since Ephraim made the original treaty and it would be hell of a lot easier to know when to expect our people to start going through the change again if we had bloodsuckers on the inside telling us what to expect. Without them, we wouldn't even know where to begin our hunt for the Cold Ones.
Plus, if they ever go back on their word, we'll be able to see it from their eyes.
It's a new type of peace-one that could be beneficial to both sides. Sam, as alpha, should have seen this, not me. After all, doesn't an alpha strive to grow their territory and protect their own no matter the cost?
So now, in this state, I have to go claim my place as alpha if I want this pact to remain intact.
Edward turned to me, in surprise. Guess even the mind reader doesn't know everything.
"You can't go in this state," he says to both mine and Carlisle's surprise. "If you lose, the pact will be broken and your pack will go after Albion. A bloody feud that large is sure to attract some unwanted attention."
"Go where, Jacob?" Carlisle asks, his beautiful face exhausted and covered in the ashes from the makeshift pyre.
"Jacob is going to fight for alpha."
"I won't have to," I say. "He'll step down."
"What makes you say that?" Carlisle says.
"I've known Sam since I was a kid. We may be a pack, but we've been like family for longer. I'll talk to him." And I mean to. Unless he decides he'd rather fight.
Edward shoots me a knowing look.
Yeah, yeah. We get it already, bloodsucker. You can read my mind. He almost cracks a smile and brushes the soot out of his coppery hair with one of his perfectly sculpted hands. Like all leeches, he has hands that look like they're carved from marble. Unlike all leeches, they're delicate-a musician's hands-in a way that makes me wonder what his life was like before he died. Would they have eventually grown to the size of my paw-like ones? Or would they have remained a musician's hands forever?
And then I remember the one thing I've been harping on since he told me and Edward laughs. Dammit. Don't think about a man's hands when he can read your mind, Jacob. He might get the wrong idea. Edward's yellow eyes land on mine and Carlisle clears his throat, his gaze firmly fixated on his "son". For some reason, I feel like we've both been caught doing something wrong, though I'm not quite sure what I even mean by that.
"I have to go. One way or another, you'll know where this new pact stands by the end of the night."
It's just past nine when I arrive back in La Push and because of the hive mind, they're all waiting for me. Man, I am getting sick of having people in my head all the time. Sam's got his teeth bared as if he's ready to tear out my throat, but I shift back into a person, standing naked before all of them. Leah snorts and Seth kicks her, as if to tell his sister to shut up. All of them are here in their wolf form, and those who stand behind me shift to literally guard my back, leaving Paul, Jared, Collin, and Leah with Sam. Even now, Brady's absence hurts.
"We don't have to do this, Sam," I say. Some part of me still feels like a little kid in front of Sam. I think some part of me will always respect him since he's older than the rest of the pack, but that doesn't mean he deserves to lead. "Listen, I know you're scared of keeping our pact with them, but it's the only way we'll know the cause if the change happens again, generations down the line. We won't be around, but the Cullens will, both to root out the other Cold Ones and to warn our people. We can't break the new pact because you're scared."
Sam snarls at the accusation, but I remain in my human form. He could rip me to shreds if he wanted to, but some things are greater than fear or a threat to one's position. "And there's no way I'm letting this pack fall apart over this."
As I stand there, preparing to make up the words as I go along, my leg aches. We may heal fast, but nothing heals from a crushed tibia that quickly.
Here we go, Jacob, time to bear your soul.
"Do you have any idea how lonely it was when it was just me who didn't know? The months I spent wondering, wandering around La Push wondering where my family went? Spending hours alone in a garage thinking that you had abandoned me. I know loneliness. We are the only ones of our kind in the world. Taha Aki's jealousy and love ensured that. We are all we have. Ephriam and our grandfathers knew that when they made the first pact with the Cullens. We can't let our prejudice of them tear apart our safety net and the only thing that keeps me going. I don't want to be the sole leader of a one-wolf pack, but I will be if that's what it takes to both keep the pact and keep most of the pack together. I'm willing to go that far-to go back to that lonely place if that's what it takes. Are you?"
I see the questioning in Collin and Paul's eyes, and it spurs me on.
"You told me you were worried about losing another one. I miss Brady too, man, but I faced what remains of Albion's coven today and if the Cullens weren't there, I wouldn't be here right now. They're not like the other, weaker leeches. They're faster, stronger, and infinitely smarter. One crushed my back leg like it was nothing while I was shifted. We may be able to go after them, but if Albion has more like them, I don't even know if we can stand up to them. The truth is, after a hundred years of peace, the wolves of our tribe are out of practice. And if we have no way to practice-no one to seek advice from-we could lose. And if we lose, what does that mean for the rest of the kids going through the change?"
With that, Collin Littlesea crosses over to my side. He knows what it means for his little sister. I wouldn't risk it either. For the first time, Sam looks uncertain. Jared and the others sense it and it's enough for Paul to cross over too.
"Sam," I say, tired of this. Sometimes, a fight would just be quicker. "Even if it's just temporary, let me try. You and I both know the history of our blood. I deserve a chance. I'll even give back the title once this is dealt with. Do you remember what you told me and Embry the day we climbed on top of Harry Clearwater's roof just to get that stupid stray cat out of a tree?"
To my surprise, Sam shifts back to his human form. Despite the confusion in Jared's eyes, he remains a loyal beta to the end.
"I told you that you two could pull the moon from the sky if given a chance," he answers, his eyes soft, almost like that of an older brother. I know the man behind that anger. Sam just wants to keep his own safe, just like I do.
"Can I?" I asked.
It hurts his pride. I know it does because it almost hurts mine too, but there's a slight nod. I asked him what he would do to keep us together. And I have my answer as a sudden weight presses down on my shoulders.
"I won't let you down. I also won't insult you by asking you to be my beta in front of the others, but I can ask you now," I say, keeping my voice low enough that even their keen wolf ears can't pick it up.
"I'd prefer it, actually. That way I can continuously remind you of what a bad idea this is." I can't help it-I smile and throw my arms around him.
"One way or another," he says with a grin to cover the defeat in his eyes, "we're going to take down that leech that did that to you," he said, nodding to my leg. It hurts so bad that I almost sit down, shaking from the sweat of confrontation.
I laugh. He laughs. And the wolves of the Quileute howl in unison, filling our hearts and sending their songs to the moon.
I'm in bed when I get the text. It's from an unknown number, but I know better than that by now.
How did it go? Edward writes.
come to la push to and find out , I answer back.
A treaty older than ours makes that very uncomfortable for my kind.
different alpha, different rules , I write back.
"What're you doing?" an annoying voice asks from my window. Seth is sitting there, silhouetted by moonlight.
"Trying to sleep," I mutter, turning over and shoving my phone underneath my pillow.
"Why were you smiling like that?" he asks.
"Isn't there some kind of rule that says you should never question your alpha?" I ask, irritated that he keeps showing up. The kid's like my shadow. If Leah didn't complain so much, I'd almost prefer her to him.
"No," he says. "But you could make one."
"Pass."
"Let me go on patrol now, Jake. Sam wouldn't, but you're alpha for real now. You can change that."
"We already talked about this. Wait until you're older."
"But-"
"Go home, Seth. Now."
"That's not nice," says a smooth voice, causing me to jolt up out of bed and to my feet. Seth is paralyzed, his back against the wall as he stares at Edward motherfucking Cullen standing in my bedroom.
"H-how?" he manages to choke out. Seth had liked Edward from the start, but this breaks all kinds of normal. It's not that leeches are prevented from coming on the res, but most of them just choose not to. My great-grandfather's treaty and the original spirit men who cursed Taha Aki to shift had taken great precautions to ensure that coming on our land would be as uncomfortable as possible for the bloodsuckers. On the rare occasions that I heard of Carlisle Cullen coming on the res, it was only for dire emergencies and he left as soon as possible. And now his adopted son was standing in my bedroom as if this was Forks High School or some shit.
"It's not as bad as I thought," Edward says, shifting. "Though still somehow feels wrong after all this time." He laughs to himself. "It's one of the few things that still has a morality to me. Isn't that odd?"
"Why are you here?" I asked, knowing very well I caused this.
"To congratulate the rightful heir, of course." His tone is mocking, and I know he's putting on a show for Seth.
"Out," I say to the kid, "And tell no one."
"But-"
I glare at him and within seconds, he's gone.
"You didn't have to come all the way to the res," I say to Edward, my voice low.
Edward shrugs, all of his pretentious aura dropping away until I could almost believe that he was once human. "You invited me, and I'd never turn down an invitation from someone who cared enough to come warn me and Carlisle out of the goodness of his heart."
"It certainly wasn't that," I snort.
"Then?" His yellow eyes dig into me and the humidity of the cool fall night causes my skin to become sticky. I'm suddenly very conscious that I'm half naked and that Edward's a good head shorter than me. Strange, all of the Cullens seemed to loom so high in my mind that I never thought of them as being physically smaller.
"As if that would help you," Edward says, and it makes me want to hit him. Edward grins and the feeling grows. "So," he asks. "What do the wolves around here do for fun?"
I don't know why I do it. I know that the pack can probably smell him from a mile away, but for some reason, after the night I've had with pack dynamics and emotionally exhaustive tension, it feels good to hang out with someone who isn't part of my hivemind for just once. I meant every word I said about the pact being my everything, but what Sam didn't tell me is that there is a loneliness that comes with being alpha too. Immediately after Sam handed over the title, I found that I could shield my thoughts from the rest of the pack. Maybe the reason I take Edward to the cliffs above the sea on the west side of the res was because in the hours after I had taken on the mantle of alpha, my head had become a lonely place again.
The ocean crashes against the cliffs beneath us as I strip.
"I did not realize your idea of fun was just stripping in random locations," Edward comments, though I don't miss the way his eyes remain steady on my chest for just a moment too long. If he hears my thoughts, he doesn't mention it.
"What would you know about fun? Aren't you like a billion years old?"
"One hundred and seventeen."
I roll my eyes. "Jump," I say.
"Why?"
"Why not?" I say, already running. I leap into the air and transform, landing into the dark water with a splash. The freezing water roars in protest around me, but I surface feeling reborn. The icy cold water feels good against my body and instantly cools me like no air conditioner has been able to since the change.
I swim to shore and look up just in time to see Edward diving, as graceful as a white swan. When he lands in the water, it barely makes a sound. He doesn't surface for minutes, but I see a flash of white in the shallows. At first, I think it's moonlight reflecting off the water but then his copper hair pierces the surface. That motherfucker was walking on the bottom. Insane.
"What do you think?" I ask after I shake off and phase back again.
"It is just freefalling," he says, but he's grinning. "But I can see a certain appeal to it. Truth be told, it has been a while since I've had any type of fun."
"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. When was the last time?"
"Watching your pack squirm when they found out that you were the rightful heir."
"Dick."
"The time before that was hunting for mountain lion."
That takes me by surprise. "Why mountain lion?"
Edward smiles in a way that instantly makes me look away. I don't know why, but there's something about that smile that shakes me. "I like the thrill of it."
The night is freezing, but I barely feel it, even as the water laps at my feet.
"So first the hands and now my smile, huh?" he asks after a moment, and I instantly want to hit him. Without thinking, I do and he takes it without moving, my hand meeting the smooth, cold skin of his face. My hand throbs and I wish I had been in my wolf form to really lay into him. "Careful, Jacob, someone could get the wrong idea." I don't know what game he's playing, but I'm instantly turned off by it.
"Someone could also get the wrong idea when you read their mind without their consent."
Edward shrugs, stripping off his wet shirt and shaking out the water from his hair. I'm suddenly very aware that I'm naked. Why doesn't being a shifter come with built-in pants? "I told you that you could block it."
"Yeah, like that's possible. Who can constantly be thinking of two things at once when one is mindless babble?"
"Carlisle manages to do it all the time with medical jargon."
"Well next time I'll just hit you harder."
"Like I said, careful," he says so softly that I barely hear it above the crashing of the ways. "A guy could get the wrong idea." We're standing so close now that it doesn't matter what I'm thinking because my nakedness betrays me instantly. The coolness radiating off of his skin is better than the cold night air and instantly helps dim down the ever-present heater inside of me.
I swallow. I don't think I'm into guys-and I'm certainly not into leeches-but there's something about the way that Edward Cullen's lips move that makes me forget about that. It makes me not care that he can read my mind because something tells me that he's thinking the same thing that I am.
"Jake!" A voice calls in the distance and we instantly move apart just before Embry comes bounding down the road. In the moonlight, he's covered in the dirt and sweat from the forest and there's panic in his eyes enough that he doesn't even react to Edward's presence on the res.
"What?"
"It's Seth."