Interlude: Of Pasta and Tours

"It's quiet."

Fingers drummed on the table, feet tapping to some unknown rhythm below. The woman dressed in crimson and black grew impatient with the stiffening silence and the awkward tension of the table. "Too quiet. Is it going to be like this until the food comes?"

Chiaki looked at her tablemates, who gave back looks of blank insecurity. Seriously, all these people and not one person wanted to talk first? Sheesh, the social anxiety was so thick it could have been an oppressive cloud hanging over everyone. In this state, Chiaki could almost understand the warlord's boredom. But wait…wait! She double-checked the table members again. Somebody was missing! "Where's Gareth, Ryuuto? I thought she was with you."

Ryuuto shrugged. "I think she went to go explore the area, or something."

"You just left her alone?" Chiaki looked at Mash for support. "Leaving a Servant without supervision is bad, right? Even if I can't imagine Gareth doing anything bad."

"Da Vinci gets to do what she wants within reason, but that might be because she's a genius, and has been here far longer than any of you all," replied Mash with a pensive look. "But I agree. Gareth is energetic, but a good person at heart. She'll be fine-"

"Master! I have returned! And I found someone on my way here!" A golden haired girl knight burst into the cafeteria accompanied by a familiar mage dressed in blue. He looked far calmer than his escort.

"Is that…" Ryuuto looked at the newcomers with shock.

"It's him! Caster!" Chiaki shot up from her seat and practically threw herself into the Caster's arms. "Ah Caster! I missed you!"

Unfortunately, the girl never reached her destination because she collided with a straw dummy instead.

"Oof!"

At the table, everyone laughed. Even Caster had fun at the lady's expense. Chiaki untangled herself from the mini Wicker Man and laughed along, her cheeks red from embarrassment. "Ah, Caster! I thought you died!" Gareth helped the poor girl steady herself as she approached the blue sage.

"That would usually be the case, but it seems I was pulled here after disappearing in Fuyuki." His red eyes twinkled with playful annoyance. "Hmph. I did say I wanted to be summoned as a Lancer this time. In any case, let me introduce myself again. I am Cu Chulainn, summoned this time as a Caster."

"Welcome to Chaldea, Caster," Mash said politely. "It's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too, Shield girl." Maybe it was too good, because he was definitely checking out her back and side.

"A-hem! I would like to know who this Caster is. Actually, I want to know what your previous feats were before I graced your facility with my presence! The full story!" The Demon Archer once again became the center of attention, her haughty gaze weighing heavily on everyone present.

"It's a long story," sighed Alpha. "But we can definitely share it to kill some time. I for one, feel like dying-" He was immediately interrupted by an excitable Master.

"SO! It all started when I ran into Ryuuto on my way to the orientation…"

…

Throughout the story, everyone took their turns explaining things from their perspective, from first impressions to the littlest details, the good, the bad, and the ugly too. There were moments of laughter and silence for certain matters, especially near the end.

"That is impressive, holding off such a powerful foe with a small army of varied fighters. And this city of Fuyuki, the way you all described it gave me nostalgia for Honnoji." Nobunaga nodded in satisfaction. "A story worthy of being remembered! I hope for adventures just as grand as that one in the future, retainer."

Naughty smiled, this time more confident than condescending. "Don't worry. There's never a dull moment with me."

Suddenly, he remembered something and turned to face Ryuuto. "I can't believe you actually said that when we caught up to you in the beginning with the Director."

"Said what?" Ryuuto gave a confused look at the Italian.

"Skellies."

The table burst into various stages of laughter ranging from a light chuckle from Mash to the raucous cacophony of Naughty and Nobunaga. This promptly angered Ryuuto, who groaned and glared daggers at him. But the Italian simply shot back a smug smile that would rival even one of an anime girl. His Servant had an equally amused look on her face.

"Hahahahahaha! What kind of word is that to describe your undead enemies? So ridiculous! Ah Manslayer, it seems you have been paired with a clown of a Master!"

Okita gave her an unamused look. "Might I remind you that you're the only one with the official title of 'Great Fool'?" The swordswoman turned to face her Master, who looked less angry and more embarrassed now.

"Don't mind her Master, that's just how she is," Okita looked at her Master with reassurance. "Okita-san will always be by your side, silly words or not. Just say the words and I'll slice the Fool of Owari without hesitation."

"What was that, Manslayer? You want to engage in single combat right now?" The Demon Archer stood up. From seemingly nowhere, Nobunaga pulled out a matchlock rifle. "Entertain me before the feast then!"

"For my Master's honor!" Okita unsheathed her sword and narrowed her focus on the crimson target.

It all seemed set for a duel, to the dismay of everyone who was not participating. However...

"HEY!"

No one had noticed that Chaldea's cook had finally arrived with the group's rather...grand order of pasta. It smelled absolutely delicious, but the lovely scent was unfitting against the furious aura the cook gave off. He looked like he was about to throw a plate, too!

"There will be NO FIGHTING in MY CAFETERIA! Is that clear!?"

Silence. Nobunaga's fingers were frozen on the rifle, just barely about to pull the trigger. Okita was stuck in a rather cool pose, sword ready to stab the Demon Archer. Finally, the two relented and sat back down, a frown on each of their faces.

"Good. Now eat your food before it grows cold. No one likes cold food, that's some nasty stuff."

With mixed feelings of apprehension, excitement, anticipation, and flat out hunger, the table of humans and Servants alike dug in. It was like a ridiculous variation on the holiday of Thanksgiving if they only served Italian pasta.

"Impressive...such a dish exists, huh?" Ryuuto inspected the Macaroni Spaghetti dish. "But it really looks inedible."

"It looks like it violates wabi-sabi," Nobunaga flatly stated. "But the color scheme has my approval."

"Mommy, did they rip out somebody's guts to make that? Because it really looks like a mess…"

"Never mind that," said Alpha. "Our plate is here." He took the chicken pasta bake and proceeded to eat calmly, if a little uncomfortable with the crowded table.

"Hmph. For a pasta dish, it actually looks good." Ryuuto leered at the pasta bake. Pasta was no friend of his, but the Chaldean cook looked like he was competent enough if this plate was able to make him hungry.

"Ah Master, do you not like noodles?" asked Okita with curiosity.

"Huh? It's not that, it's these kinds of dishes specifically," replied Ryuuto. "I'm more of a ramen noodle kind of guy."

"I see," responded the swordswoman. "But there must be something you like. So in that case, we will have to find some oden to try!"

"Eh? Oden doesn't really have pasta in it, though…" Chiaki trailed off, wondering if the two even heard her. But a plate on the table caught her eye and all of her curiosity.

It looked like pasta. The texture was definitely like spaghetti pasta and sauce. But it didn't smell like pasta, nor did it radiate the heat of a typical dish of that nature. No, this was something completely unique, new, and frankly, bizarre. A lightbulb went off in her head as the girl realized what it was.

"Guys look!" Chiaki tried to hold back her laughter. "How clever, it's spaghetti ice cream!"

"What do you mean ice cream?" Ryuuto could only look with confusion. The plate looked ordinary, but as Okita took a sample from it her face lit up in pleasant surprise. Her eyes even seemed to sparkle as she made a contented noise. "It's cold, but sweet!"

"Huh? It's actually sweet?" Ryuuto couldn't believe it.

"Always has been," said the Chaldean cook with a grin. He hadn't moved from his place since he arrived with the food. "That's a dish called Spaghettieis, and since it is technically pasta, I deemed it fair game." It was almost creepy that he had been watching the group eat the whole time, but what's a guy going to do when his only clients are already served and the kitchen was basically abandoned?

"Your definition of pasta is pretty abstract," mumbled Ryuuto. But deep down, he felt happy his new partner was enjoying the meal, even if he himself wasn't feeling spectacular about it.

After their well-deserved meal, the crew was completely satisfied with the chef's cooking skills. Naughty sighed contentedly. "That was a fantastic meal, non credi mia cara?" he says as his head turns to Nobu, who seemed to agree, and was still stuffing herself.

Ryuuto didn't seem too satisfied, clearly biased on not liking pasta. Ultimately he judged the ordeal as tolerable. "Now, I know I'm not fond of this kind of food," he started, but then looked at Okita. "But I think I can speak for me and Okita that it was pretty good."

Okita nodded in agreement. "Yes, it was very sweet!" Her Master chuckled softly and said, "Not as sweet as you."

"Eh? What was that?"

"I mean, you're very nice to give this man your compliments!" Ryuuto scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. Yikes, those words escaped his mouth before he knew what to do with them! The two looked at each other with awkward smiles.

"That's right. We all owe our thanks to...to….what was your name? Did we ever get that?" Chiaki turned to look at the Chaldean cook, who was glaring at her with mild annoyance. "You never asked."

"W-well," stammered Chiaki with a faltering smile. "There's a first time for everything!" Ah jeez, that came out really weird! She took a deep breath. "So then what is your name, oh cook of unlimited pasta recipes?"

The chef's green eyes loosened up from the narrow stare. "You can cut the fancy title. It's Sejo."

"Well then thank you very much, Mr. Sejo!"

…

"Hey Mash, I have a question." Alpha pulled out his bag, opened it, and shook it upside down. "Before the director….died, she gave me this bag to collect materials. Where did everything go?"

Everyone looked at the bag in curiosity. It was an ordinary dark brown bag that could be worn on the side. Mash opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly a new figure appeared.

"I see. So that is the Director's bag of holding. It seems rather odd that you have it in your custody, young man."

Da Vinci appeared from the hallway, meeting up with the group. "That bag is special. Nothing that is considered living can enter its dimension, and the objects that can go inside are rather difficult to retrieve."

"But then why would the Director have such a thing?" Ryuuto stared at the bag pensively.

"Well, no matter how dangerous a place can be, it's always good to know what you can find in new surroundings," answered Da Vinci with a look of amusement. "After all, there may be objects that don't belong in that place, and you can't just carry objects with power freely without others noticing."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chiaki looked confused and tilted her head in curiosity.

"Hmm, hmm. You will probably find out tomorrow. For now…" The woman looked at Alpha, then the bag, and then back at Alpha. "I'll get the things you may have collected out of there. It's rather risky to do it out in the open, but I'll show you how it works later!"

Alpha silently handed her the bag, not really caring much about it. He watched as the lady walked off with the bag, heading into some room in the distance.

"Meh. I thought I could stick my head and figure out where everything went."

…

"So now, I guess it's time for rest. Tomorrow we'll probably talk about where we go from here, and how to deal with the crisis at hand." Mash looked at everyone with a small but warm smile. "I'm sure Chaldea has already given you all rooms before orientation, but the rooms spared by the explosion can be repurposed for the Servants."

"Then let's take a tour! That way we know where everyone is staying," Ryuuto replied while looking at the hallway beyond the cafeteria.

"Hmph. As my retainer, you better be on speed dial. I want you close, you hear?" The Demon Archer nudged her Master. "Also, I want my room to be the most opulent this place has to offer! And it should have…" The rest of the way was noisy with the imperial warlord giving Naughty an endless amount of requests, and the soft rumble of the greek hero's footsteps.

"Hey Mommy, you don't mind if I stay with you in your room, right?" The little Assassin looked up at her Master with endearing eyes. Alpha gave her a smile, saying "Of course not." He couldn't say no, not to that look on her face. For a well-known serial killer, Jack was impossibly adorable. It was...hard to believe the little child was capable of murder. But to be honest, that made it a lot better. If he wanted to perish, he now had a capable executioner with him at all times! Alpha's smile fell a little. Maybe that was too cruel for both of them to think about right now.

They all ended up finding intact, vacant rooms near the boiler room, which wasn't very far. The area ended up in the hands of the Japanese servants since they were the only ones able to inhabit that area; Heracles was simply too big to fit inside.

"Well think about it this way: you won't need a heater if the room is constantly warm." Naughty peered into the room. It was empty but weirdly inviting, with a bed, some furniture, and not much else.

"The room is fine. As the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, of course the atmosphere will be hot with my presence! What is not fine is that my next door neighbor happens to be the Manslayer." Nobu crossed her arms, striking an air of superiority.

"The same can be said to you," retorted Okita, who had her katana out.

"Hey! Don't you point that sword at me!"

"So um, they're going to be ok, right?" Chiaki looked at the squabbling Servants with amusement and mild concern. "Even though they're fighting and stuff?"

"Let them fight," responded Naughty, who was in awe of his own Servant. "It's fine with me."

"The rooms look small, but it probably isn't any different than a dorm, I guess. I think they'll be fine," replied Ryuuto. He made a mental note to ask Okita if she would want to move in with him someday.

Gareth got a room next to Mash and Caster Cu decided to settle near the hall where the Master's rooms were in. Ultimately, everyone was within a good walking distance of each other, much like a dormitory wing in a residence hall. As for decorating the interior…

"Hmm, I'll figure something out with my runes." With a wave of his hand, the blue sage conjured trees and flowers into his room, giving it a literal natural look to it.

"Is any of that real?," asked Ryuuto. "Or is this some kind of illusion?"

"Think of it as personal scenery being projected onto the area. This room is now my territory, in a way."

"Impressive! You'll have to decorate my room too!"

"Ah, me as well!"

The Saber and Archer popped up out of nowhere, clearly interested with the room-manipulating abilities of the blue Caster.

Cu sighed. "Alright. But let me finish my room first!"

Near Chiaki's room was an open common area that was a tad larger than the rooms. "Hey hey, this is convenient! Heracles can stay close to me this way!"

A grunt from the Berserker in question seemed to have an approving tone, since he ambled his way inside and promptly set down his massive sword. Thankfully an earthquake did not go off.

"Man...it's so cool, seeing a hero I've read stories about in the flesh…" Chiaki stared at the giant Berserker in a mixture of admiration, nervousness, and curiosity. "I'm going to do my best to be an amazing partner!" She clenched her hands into fists for motivation.

"You know, if you wanted to get closer to him you could always just share your room," suggested Naughty.

"Huh?! No way!" Chiaki got flustered and shook her head earnestly. "First of all, he won't fit in my room. Second of all, are you crazy? Of course I want to be friends, but uh, people need space at first!"

And with that, everyone went to rest for the next day. This was a good thing because somewhere in France, a fish-eyed freak was resurrecting his beloved leader, awaiting her rise from the ashes...and soon there would be a team assembling to stop him.

Author's commentary: Yeah it's been forever since I updated. Sorry if you were expecting more story directly, but I felt a buffer between Singularities would be useful. On the Next Episode, it's time to take on Orleans! The evil Dragon Witch is ready to seize the land of France with her crazy crew and dangerous dragons! But not everyone is going. Who will be the lucky to go? Find out next time!