The Quick and the Undead
by Carycomic
A 'Web of Deceit' tie-in.
Concepts and characters: if you recognize them, I don't own or profit from them.
DOME OF UATU,
LUNAR BLUE AREA,
(EARTH-91126)
Axel Asher could not believe what/who his cadaverous counterpart had materialized before the rest of them.
"Are you insane?! Why on all the Earths would you recruit these... these...?"
"Necromorphic organisms?" replied Zombie Access with blatant sarcasm. "Because the Phalanx virus can transmute vampires as well as humans. Due to vampires still having enough viable silicon in their epidermis to fuel the transmutation process! But, glorified zombies like me? Not so much. Due to our epidermis obviously being too decayed."
"So, what?" persisted Axel. "Are you telling me that the three of you plan to sacrifice yourselves for the good of the Omniverse? Zombie kamikazes, as it were?"
Zombie Access made a hideous chuckling sound. "Something like that."
At which point he teleported himself and his two traveling companions away before Axel could utter another word.
"Son of a..." he began to exclaim in frustration.
"I wouldn't finish that cathartic catch phrase if I were you," declared Werewolf Access. "Because my instincts are just canine enough that I might physically express my resentment of it!"
"Then, do us both a favor," replied Axel. "Transfer your resentment to him. Keep him under surveillance. And when his little scheme succeeds? Obey your primary instinct where the fate of all zombies is concerned!"
Werewolf Access looked at Nightshade. "Ready for another joyride, babe?"
She smiled and tickled his chin with her right index finger. "You know it, toots."
Whereupon, her lycanthropic lover threw back his head and howled with lustful glee, before teleporting the both of them from sight. Newton Destine then looked at Axel and frowned.
"You do realize that neither of them can be trusted. Because once the potential threat of techno-organic vampires is eliminated, they'll both go back to their dimension-hopping feud. Happily causing all kinds of collateral damage in the process!"
"I know," said the Access of Earth-1610. "That's why I've already taken out a little insurance policy."
Whereupon, he materialized before him and my own local counterpart the Eric Simon Payne of Earth-83234!
"What. . .? Where. . .?" the latter understandably sputtered.
"There's no time to verbally explain," thought Access not entirely to himself. "Focus on me with your telepathy."
EARTH-TRN6201*
Hoppy T. Bunny looked at his watch and gasped.
"On my gosh! I'm running late for my date with Millie! I'd better get going."
"I'm afraid you're going to be unavoidably detained."
Hoppy spun about one hundred eighty degrees and gasped again. Only, this time, it was at the sight of the two ugliest squirrels he had ever seen! And, judging by the smell of them, they must have been ground squirrels who had stayed underground for far too long.
"Uhm! I don't mean to be rude, folks. But, how did you get in my house?"
"The same way we're going to leave it," replied Zombie Squirrel Girl. "The only difference being that it'll be the three of us! Ch'p?"
Whereupon, the Black Lantern from the Deceased Cosmos activated his power ring. Using it to temporarily gag the anthropomorphic rabbit with a circular patch of solidified darkness! Consequently, while Hoppy instinctively tried to remove it with his bare hands, his female assailant sprang forward. Plunging her teeth straight into the side of his neck as she did so.
Moments later, Zombie Access materialized to collect his newest ally: Hoppy the Marvel Zombunny.
DOME OF UATU,
BLUE LUNAR AREA
(EARTH-7085)
Fera was a Himalayan wolf who had been anthropomorphically mutated through experimental exposure to an illegal variant of the Terrigen Mists, by the renegade Inhuman Maximus the Mad, on behalf of Master Khan, exiled wizard of Kun-Lun. He, in turn, had loaned her services to a high-tech alchemist named Dredmund Druid... prior to her being abducted by Tilda Johnston on behalf of Deirdre Wentworth alias Superia. Self-styled "First Queen of the Femizons!"
Up to that point, she had considered herself and other lycanthropes as just freaks of nature. Outnumbered by the so-called 'normal' humans who hated them. But, of course, that was before _he_ came. The strange werewolf from outer space who had called himself... The Sentry.
Because of him, the world was now composed 75% lycanthropized and counting. Especially, the superhumans! That was why Superia had sent small teams of hand-picked Femizons to search for, and capture, men who were still fully human. Then they could be brought back to Femizon Island in the Bermuda Triangle and put into cryogenic hibernation for after the gas had dissipated. More specifically? The gaseous compound released by the simultaneous explosions of thousands of microscopic capsules called 'sterility seeds'. As that compound would render the male werewolves permanently infertile!
But, just as Fera and her partner, the Black Racer, had corned an unbitten male named Robert Reynolds, in the old Central Park Zoo, two things happened. First; they, themselves, wound up being cornered by the Sentry! Following which, they and the Sentry found themselves on the Moon being watched over... by the Watcher.
Nor was he alone.
"Sorry for the interruption, ladies and gentleman," said Nightshade (Tilda Johnston's counterpart from Earth-616). "But, we need your help."
"And that assistance..." added Werewolf Access. "...entails merging you two ladies."
Whereupon, Fera found herself wearing Black Racer's costume... and sharing her thoughts.
Meanwhile, on Earth-691, the Supernatural Adaptoid had just finished analyzing the mother box that they had reluctantly been loaned by Lord Kobra.
"Think you can duplicate all the technological functions you learned about concerning his world's machinery?" demanded Speed Demon.
The Adaptoid nodded. "One cosmic-powered treadmill coming right up."
"Good! Because I just got word from Madame Hydra on Earth-28918. Fastforward saved those three metallic meddlers just before her men could zap them with that 'phantom zone projector' of hers. So, we've got to get going on our little mission. Fast!"
The End?
*Earth-TRN (Temporary Reality Number) 6201 (numeric counterparts to the initials for Funny Talking Animaland).