Chapter 4

He supposed he had done something wrong, considering Sakura's reaction.

Since there was no use in resisting her brute strength (especially when she was angered or upset), Sai resigned himself to being dragged away like he was a lowly child, rather than the elite shinobi he was. At least she was no longer smothering him, he supposed.

Despite her manhandling him, Sakura smiled politely to the villagers, who in turn didn't question their interaction. To them, it wasn't wholly unusual witnessing her acting impulsively, driven by her emotions. It was quite often when watching Haruno Sakura and her inability to control her emotions that he became somewhat grateful towards Danzo's teachings. He couldn't imagine completing half of the missions he had while weighed down by something as pointless as emotions.

One book in particular that he'd read stated women were delicate creatures, therefore needed to be treated differently to how men were treated – for greetings, they'd used an example of a fist bump with a male, but a respectful distance from a woman, unless they showed a desire to be touched.

Perturbed by it after an exceptionally long mission with Team Seven and seeing many new sides to Sakura, he'd asked Kakashi for advice on the matter. The Copy-Nin's response had been to briefly flick through the pages and Sai had made sure to take note of each reaction he'd displayed. As expected of such an elite, however, he showed none. Instead, he'd handed it back with a sigh, saying with a tip of his chin in Sakura's general direction, "Women are not as delicate as they often appear."

They'd discussed her ability to bounce back from traumas, their captain informing him of all the times she had been defeated both in battle and in love. Even though she'd experienced immense betrayal and heartache, Kakashi had told him quietly, she persevered. She got up, dusted herself off and got on with things, because she didn't have time to be weak.

Was it polite to greet women in the way the book instructed? Sure, Kakashi had said, especially if the woman was someone like Hyuuga Hinata, he'd used for an example. However, with their Sakura, she longed to be seen as an equal, so for her in particular, a fist bump was fine.

"All in all-" he'd added in conclusion, "-most people are driven by emotions – it has nothing to do with their gender. Just take a look at Naruto and Sakura, if you're ever confused. They can be equally as emotional as the other. In some cases, there is a divide between the sexes or a necessity to treat a person differently, however, everyone should be treated and regarded equally. In terms of how to approach a person: figure out their cues and ticks. Discover what the boundaries are. Read the individual's body language."

His wise input had allowed Sai to recall the women he'd encountered in his line of work – the majority of them not being delicate in the least.

In a way, he supposed Sakura was one of the toughest women he'd met. As Kakashi had mentioned: her ability to get back up was admirable. He'd seen her take supposedly fatal blows and heal herself without batting an eyelash. He'd seen her take down men thrice her size like it was nothing. Her heart had repeatedly been broken yet she continued to wish nothing but happiness for the boy who caused her suffering.

He wondered if he was supposed to encourage her new relationship, if it meant moving on from the toxicity that was her love for Uchiha Sasuke?

So lost in his thoughts, Sai was surprised when they approached his apartment, causing him to question why he was allowing such a thing to happen.

While his teammates knew where he lived, they had never visited, though Sai supposed that was more of his own doing since he was usually the one informing the others of a mission (unless they were individually visited by a messenger). Moreover, if they happened to be meeting outside of missions, then they arranged it before they went their separate ways. They'd had no reason to go to his apartment, just as he had no reason to go to either of theirs.

What would she think of it?

Did it matter what she thought of it, he pondered.

The apartment was filled with both complete and incomplete paintings, his numerous canvases instantly granting him freedom as Sakura took an interest in them. She crouched beside one of the largest, her bad mood seemingly dissipating at the painting.

"This is me," she murmured.

Yes, it was, though he was surprised she could even tell. Stepping to her side, Sai lifted the canvas, critically assessing the dainty hand covered in callouses and bruises. By far, it was his most detailed painting – he'd taken great care with the marks on her hand and the way she tended to hold a kunai to her side for a second before holding it in front of herself.

He'd been inspired to paint it while watching Sakura train, taking mere seconds to jot down the outline in his sketchbook before she'd moved.

"It's beautiful," she complimented him while standing. Her head tilted to the side, eyes fixated on the painting. "You even got the scar on my thumb."

Of course he had. It was one of the first things he'd noticed when he first saw a close up of her hands. He knew it was from the times she'd summoned Katsuyu – mainly shinobi had similar scars, but hers… Perhaps it was a show of her superficial personality that she continuously bit over the same mark, surprising him as he'd thought at that time that it was the tidiest scar (of that kind, of course) he'd ever seen.

Lifting her hand, she huffed with what Sai could only guess as amusement, but he found his gaze trailing from her scarred thumb to the grain of sand that continued to cause him to feel out of sorts. He couldn't explain why, but it stirred something within him.

No doubt sensing his shift in attention since he'd been anything but subtle, Sakura dropped her hand and sighed. "Sai…"

Carefully, he placed the canvas back in its rightful place of being propped up against the wall. He'd yet to decide what he wanted to do with it – with any of them. There was no specific purpose for any of his paintings. He didn't create them for anyone other than himself, although part of him did wonder if it was wasteful leaving them to clutter his apartment once he was done with them.

"Are you mad with me?"

Being mad insinuated he felt emotions, but Sai honestly contemplated the possibility. It would make sense, he knew that. It would explain why he felt so out of sorts. Surely that wasn't the case, though? Danzo was nothing but thorough when it came to his operatives, ensuring there was little to no chance of being swayed by emotion or bonds. To allow such a thing to happen would cause him problems down the line and he preferred trustworthy operatives who he could rely on.

Although he couldn't be entirely honest with her, Sai felt the situation would be straightened out much faster if he told the truth about what he was experiencing. "I am perplexed. I cannot understand why you would choose the Kazekage, of all people."

"Of all…" Sakura trailed off with a sigh and shake of her head. "You're making it seem like nothing special, when there's more to it than that."

He hadn't been aware that he'd been passing it off as such. Was he supposed to apologise at that point?

"Gaara, he…" She shook her head again, smiling to herself. "He understands me."

How would that progress to a relationship? Was that what people looked for in a romantic relationship? Someone who understood them? But if that was the case, then again, why had Sakura chosen the Kazekage of all people? He could name many individuals who knew her well and understood her – himself included.

To prove his point, he said, "You prefer to warm up alone before training with others."

Her confusion was obvious even to him. "Excuse me?"

"You also prefer to drink your tea while it is still hot – if it goes lukewarm, you will throw it out."

"Well, that's just-"

"You don't hold grudges, even if you look ready to tear a person's head off."

She pursed her lips.

Was he making her understand yet?

"Even if it is only for a few minutes, you enjoy meeting with friends and spending time with them. You especially enjoy drinking tea with your best friend and rival, Yamanaka Ino at the small shop closest to the hospital, usually during your lunch break."

Her eyebrow started ticking.

That wasn't a good sign, was it?

"You also carry a photograph of Team Seven – the original team – with you at all times. When you think the rest of the team are sleeping, you get it out and stare at it. Sometimes you say aloud that you'll see Uchiha Sasuke soon, when he comes home."

The anger that had been building faltered.

"You are not hard to understand," he assured her and smiled. Hopefully, his smile wouldn't make her uncomfortable like it often did. He'd been practicing it. "Actually, you're quite simple."

Then, the anger came back with a vengeance, exploding out of her as Sakura snarled, "You don't understand me at all." Trembling hands clenched into fists and Sai eyed his art, wondering if she would dare to try and use them as projectiles – she often used whatever she could get her hands on, taking after her shishou in that regard. If she made one move towards them, he would restrain her. "I'm not a subject for you examine – I'm a person. Sure," she relented, frustration leaving her with an agitated sigh. "You've noticed a few things but quit being so militant about it all. Why do I do them? What emotions do I feel that pushes me to being that way? Damn it, Sai. Why the hell are you so frustrating?"

He could only stare, unable to place where he had messed up.

"Any shinobi could tell you my routine or likes and dislikes if they've watched me for as long as you have." Threateningly, despite the tears filling her eyes, she took a step towards him and demanded, "But do you know why I hold onto hope of Sasuke-kun returning? Do you understand why hate being alone?"

Why?

He… hadn't thought about that.

"Until you know those things," she continued in a harsh whisper, voice lowering with the weight of her emotions. "Until you know why I do the things I do, then you don't know me at all and you have no right to question my choices."

She brushed by him without another word, slamming his door behind her, leaving him to stand there, immobilised as he realised how right she was.

He didn't understand her at all.

A/N - I think I'm getting my mojo back. I'm actually on a role with my stories and updates!