Chapter 7

Sakura wasn't even sure yet if the fact he wasn't the one who ordered the escort mission made her angrier or not.

If he had, then that made zero sense in her mind because he was the freaking Kazekage and had hundreds of Suna-nin at his disposal to pick up his future wife. If he had, then that meant he'd wanted her to find out in the worst way possible and that just… It wasn't him, her heart told her vehemently. Gaara would never do something so cruel to her. But if he wasn't a cruel person, then why hadn't he told her about the impending marriage?

If he hadn't ordered them, then that meant he had no intention of telling her about the marriage and would leave her to eventually hear about it through the grapevine. That, in her eyes, was equally as cruel and again, her heart begged of her to stop assuming things without knowing the whole story.

But what other reasons were there? It wasn't like he could turn down a chance to tie his village closer to their nation – the treaty would be spectacular, potentially saving his village in a multitude of ways. Not only would the daimyō want to protect his relative should the village be under attack, but he would ensure she wouldn't starve and the such. In return, he would essentially have the Kazekage under his thumb. That was a lot of power at his disposal.

"Oi, Gaara!"

Naruto either didn't notice or care to listen to Kankuro's demands for him to show more respect to the Kazekage. His challenging, demanding attitude was that of someone who didn't know their place as he stormed into the office with the rest of them trailing behind, yet somehow, Gaara didn't seem to care about his presence once he realised what team it was. He barely even gave a dismissive wave to Kankuro, his eyes already glued to hers and making her swallow hard.

The shock in his eyes was killing her.

He truly hadn't expected them.

"You've got some explaining to do!"

Yes. He did have a lot of explaining to do.

What made the whole thing that much worse was that his future bride – Fumiko – was clinging to her desperately at the sight of Gaara, like she was going to protect her from him. Gods, if she'd had her way (which, apparently, she never could) then she would've frogmarched the woman back to her own village because damn it, he was hers.

Sakura's looking down at the woman apparently prompted Gaara to do the same and while her head had been so certain he was going to ogle her (even though it wasn't in his character to do so and thinking that way made her sound like an idiot, she scolded herself), her heart soared at the fact his gaze was drawn to their connection, frowning at the woman's hands gripping at her.

"Kazekage-sama."

Funny how she didn't even notice the councilman standing to the side of his desk, prompting Gaara into standing and bowing at the waist.

"It is nice to meet you…"

"Fumiko-sama," the elder sighed.

He didn't even know her name?

Either that made it so much worse, or better. She couldn't decide.

For the future bride it was worse, of course and Sakura sighed in response to the guilt that bloomed in her chest. She lowered her gaze from Gaara's and even though she wanted nothing more than to demand answers from him, she couldn't. Not there, at least.

Feeling another set of eyes on her, Sakura risked a glance over her shoulder, hiding her frown at Sai's indifferent stare.

Who'd have thought he would be the one to follow her? To try and comfort her? Even though he was way out of his comfort zone, Sai had stayed by her side, trying his utmost to better understand her emotions. Gods, it made her guilt for exploding on him double. He really was just trying and she wasn't making it any easier for him.

"You are all welcome to stay the night," Gaara informed her team. She knew it was solely because in Suna, they would be given separate rooms to sleep in, meaning he had the chance to slip into hers in the middle of the night to talk. But she wasn't sure she wanted that – not because she was childish and didn't want to talk, but because that connection between them, their chemistry, was powerful and difficult to ignore. "I will have rooms set up for you."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Naruto nodding in a haughty manner, saying that it would do. Usually, she would have slapped some sense into him, but she couldn't be bothered in that moment and it seemed to concern him, for Naruto shot her a worried glance when he realised she didn't do anything.

Sakura kept her eyes forward.

"I take it you arrived without any issues," concluded Kankuro stiffly, looking between them.

Kakashi responded with his cheery smile, giving nothing away much to her gratefulness. If there was anyone she could rely on to have her back in awkward social situations, then it was undoubtedly him. "You could say that."

"If that is all," one elder said. "You are dismissed. The Kazekage has a wedding to prepare for."

Oh, that stung.

"Which I still need to talk to you about," declared Naruto, pointing rudely at the redhead. "Come find me when you're free, got it?"

"Naruto, he's the Kazekage-"

"And my friend." He shot a glare to Gaara. "Right?"

A reluctant ghost of smile crossed his features, effectively making the pain in her heart worsen. "Right."

When they turned to leave, Sakura paused and sighed at the woman who continued to cling to her, doing her best to shove aside her own unhappiness to try and empathise better with her. It wasn't like it was her fault, was it? Clearly, she was completely against the marriage and had even said she was in love with someone back in her village.

She looked to Fumiko, smiling when she wanted nothing more than to scream her frustrations. "Don't worry, Kazekage-sama is a good guy."

Could they tell she was on the edge?

Could they tell her smile was fake?

It didn't matter.

Her gaze travelled to Gaara's, holding it. "He's not the type to hurt someone he loves."

And then she pulled away, leaving the couple behind in the office.

It was at her request that her team allowed her the rest of the day to herself.

Usually, when in a different village (that were on friendly terms with Konoha, of course), Sakura loved to explore, shop around and try out new foods to pass the time. But in that moment in time, she was way too lost in her own head and heart to enjoy any of it and knew she would inevitably drag the mood down for her teammates.

She paced in her room, rubbing at her forehead until it was as vibrant in colour as her hair – which only added to her frustration, making her groan with annoyance. Like she needed to look ridiculous on top of everything else!

Then again, she already did, didn't she?

While Sakura had never been certain of the future of her relationship with Sabaku no Gaara, she'd always been certain that he'd never be so careless with her heart. But he'd been downright cruel, hadn't he?

No, stop it!

She wouldn't cry. Not again. Not over another man.

If Gaara really thought so little of her as to throw the past few months away like they meant nothing, then she'd stand back and let him. As much as it pained her, it wouldn't be the end of the world. She would persevere like the kunoichi she was, would dust herself the hell off and get back to work. She couldn't let herself grow so distracted by agonising over a man who probably didn't even feel the same way as her, could she? Not again, anyway.

Growling under her breath, she yanked a scroll from her pack and sat down on her bed with it, crossing her legs and leaning back against the headboard. If there was anything in the world that could take her mind off her problems, then it was a new jutsu or learning about a poison.

And it did. It was hours later when she was finally dragged out of her scroll and Sakura frowned at the door, heart sinking when she answered and found it wasn't Gaara – it was her team inviting her out to dinner and as much as she wanted to cancel, she couldn't do that to them. They were reaching out to her, no doubt trying to get her out of her own head to keep her from falling down that dark hole of despair.

What would Kakashi and Naruto say if they knew the truth? Would they believe she'd betrayed Sasuke too? Sakura couldn't help but let her thoughts wander and conjure up scenarios that would most likely never happen, effectively tuning out Naruto's excited chatter as they meandered to a food stall.

They were staying at a large inn for the duration of their stay in Suna, one that was a fair distance from the centre of the village (she wondered if that was done purposely, to minimise the risks of Gaara being caught if he decided to visit her afterwards), so their walk felt like it lasted a lifetime due to the intense heat that bore down on them without mercy.

"It's crazy to think Gaara's getting married," continued Naruto, leaving Sakura with an intense urge to bash her own head into the nearest wall repeatedly, just to block him out permanently. "He's our age, right?"

"A year older," she answered, since he'd been looking her way.

It was still pretty young, though she assumed she was just thinking such a way because she was bitter about the whole ordeal. While she didn't want to be the one marrying Gaara per se (at least not at such a young age and not after a few months of being together), she still wanted to be with him and she wasn't above admitting to being jealous of Fumiko.

Throughout dinner, she could feel Sai's gaze glued to her every move, analysing everything she did, but she couldn't bring herself to be annoyed by it. Even if he was being way too militant with it all, at least he was showing an interest and was trying to understand her. Well, that was what she continuously told herself whenever she caught him staring, especially when the others didn't fail to notice, either.

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei?" Kakashi hummed, looking to Naruto from over his book. Apparently the blond wasn't deterred by his disinterested stare, because he asked loud enough for the rest of the food stall to hear, "Some people are late bloomers, right?"

The dejected sigh spoke of the thousands of different topics their former sensei would have rather been discussing in that moment. "I suppose."

It was with a mischievous snicker that he leaned ever closer, nudging the older man. "Sensei, I think Sai's got his first crush!"

That certainly knocked her out of her funk.

Sakura whirled in her stool, prepared for unleashing hell on her idiotic teammate but she was sadly beaten to the punch.

"A crush?"

She deflated almost comically, because surely by now, Sai had to have known he was opening a door that should never under any circumstances be opened?

"On Sakura-chan!"

"On…?" Her cheeks coloured horrifically when all three men of the team observed her closely, their assessments leaving her wishing for the ground to swallow her whole. "Hmm, is that so?"

"What's so hmm about it?" demanded Naruto like he'd just been gravely disrespected. "Sakura-chan's way out of your league!"

The blush deepened.

"How so?"

"Because… Because she's Sakura-chan!"

Green eyes drifted upwards to the ceiling of the food stall, begging for some kind of deity to suddenly strike it and kill them all, because seriously, she couldn't deal with any of it.

"That is a naïve reason," stated Sai.

"You-"

"Enough," she finally yelled, losing her temper. "I came out to eat something decent after travelling for so long, not to sit and listen to you guys arguing like kids!"

She knew she got her point across when even Sai fell silent, staring ahead of himself to avoid angering her further.

Fortunately for all of those who witnessed her fury: dinner went well after that point. Conversation remained light-hearted and simple, ranging from how weird yet delicious their meals were, to how quickly they thought they could make it home if they ran at full speed, to haircuts.

It was much chillier when they returned to the inn, admiring the changes in the village when the sun set.

Contrary to what people often believed: Suna wasn't a bad place to be. In fact, Sakura always enjoyed her time there and it had nothing to do with her relationship with Gaara. While the villagers were a little on the rough side, it was only because they were traditional and their beliefs differed from her own. As long as she respected their culture while in their village, then they were polite to her.

Everything was so different from Konoha, too. The food, the lack of greenery, the buildings… Everything. But for some reason, she still enjoyed it. She loved perusing the stalls and stores to check out their goods, or spending her time admiring the medicinal herbs that Konoha could never grow due to their environment. She also loved witnessing the differences in their training, for they were undoubtedly harsher on their students, training them to never show fear or weakness.

"You're lucky you get your own room." An arm came around her shoulders, tugging her close to his side. "I have to share with Sai and Kakashi-sensei."

She smirked at that, though soon sent her poor old sensei an empathetic smile when Sai began a round of questions on his beloved Icha Icha, starting off with the hardest question of them all: was the smut exaggerated, or was sex really like that when in love?

Snickering, she detangled herself from Naruto's one-armed embrace, waving her goodbyes to her team before escaping while she still had the chance.

The cheery display vanished when she shut the door, leaning back against it with a sigh.

She loved her team. She really did. But sometimes she needed time to herself to simply… cope. While she adored that they offered her a distraction when she needed it, sometimes she really needed time away to sort through her thoughts and emotions.

"Sakura."

She jolted upright, eyes wide as a figure stood from their seat on the edge of her bed. It was too dark to see any features, but she would have known it was him even if he hadn't said her name.

No, don't cry!

Instead, she set her jaw, stance strengthening. "What are you doing here?"

There was no use in questioning how he got in when she'd locked up – he was the Kazekage. Moreover, he was Sabaku no Gaara. Locks and traps were pointless against such a force.

"You have every right to be angry."

Damn right she did – she didn't need him to tell her that or make it feel as though she needed his permission to be angry. What he'd done to her was cruel and humiliating, because what the hell did he think of her to treat her in such a way? That she was nothing more than an easy lay?

She'd…

She'd honestly believed she meant more to him than that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sakura questioned, keeping a firm grasp on her anger. Being angry was better than crying. It was better than letting her heart take a public lashing again. She'd learned that the hard way. "Surely, you've known about the marriage for longer than a week?"

Gaara sighed at that and reached for the lamp on her nightstand, switching it on to better see her features. If he experienced anything seeing her furious glare, however, he kept it to himself. Like she was protecting her heart in that moment, he always protected his, hiding it behind his cold mask of indifference.

"The marriage was decided by the council," he explained to her patiently. "I wanted to tell you the last time we were together."

"But?"

He met her eye without hesitation, sighing again. "But I allowed my emotions to get the better of me."

Meaning he'd been just as caught up in the moment as she'd been.

While she knew Gaara wasn't completely emotionless, Sakura still knew he was in much better control of them than she would ever be of hers. To know that he'd lost that control in response to seeing her threatened to open up her heart again, to let him in without a second thought to the consequences.

Considering he was being so open with his emotions (in addition to the fact that neither Kakashi nor Sai had sensed his presence), Sakura concluded that the room was sealed, though that wasn't too surprising. They couldn't allow their relationship to be discovered while it was in such a delicate stage. Would they share it one day? Perhaps. But Sakura knew they had to tread carefully due to not only being from different villages, but also because he was the Kazekage (meaning it could affect the treaty should things end badly).

Just as Gaara attempted to close the distance between them, Sakura held out her hand, stopping him and pretending not to see the flash of hurt. "No. We're still talking."

"Sakura-"

"I get that this may be against your wishes and that it's for the sake of the village," she began, frowning at him. "But surely you have some say in it?"

"The council-"

"You're the goddamn Kazekage – you're Sabaku no Gaara," she snarled suddenly, unable to stand his pitiful passing the blame. "Since when the hell do you take orders?"

She'd sat in many meetings between Tsunade and the elders and had picked up on the fact that, while their input was important and their advice should not be ignored entirely, they didn't have to follow them to the finest detail. The amount of times her shishou had bulldozed her way through those meetings with her hard head was both humorous and admirable, because she refused to lay back and take their shit. And Tsunade sure as hell wouldn't allow them to bully her into an arranged marriage, so why the hell was he? Why was Gaara, of all the freaking people, letting his council trample all over him? It was so out of character that it hurt.

"People are still wary of me," Gaara told her, unaffected by her raised voice (not that it surprised her). That only confirmed that her room was sealed off, refusing to let anyone listen in. "The council explained that this would be the best way to help the villagers and other villages see that I am a changed man."

Did it make sense? Totally. Everyone loved a hard working family man.

Did she accept it? Like hell.

She was so freaking tired of people stamping all over her heart like it meant nothing to them.

"And what about us?" There was no strength behind her words like she'd wanted there to be. Instead, she came across as weary, her heart stuttering painfully. Holding back her emotions was growing harder by the second and she knew that if the conversation continued for much longer, she would break down regardless of her wishes to be strong. It seemed she still had a long way to go in terms of emotional maturity. "Where does that leave us?"

"I…" It floored her when his voice trailed off, brow furrowing ever so slightly with his struggle to also remained composed. "I don't know."

And that killed her.

But she wouldn't beg or cry. She wouldn't demand that he reconsidered his choices. If Gaara was set on pleasing his council and village, on putting it all before their relationship, then clearly he was not the guy for her.

"Then I think-" She cut herself off, shaking her head and swallowing hard, reining in the last of her control. "I will never be the other woman," Sakura told him firmly and met his eye, ensuring it really hit him that this was it. "I will never hurt people or destroy their trust like that. So, if you go through with the marriage, then this – we – are over."

He didn't fight the frown that time, his hand reaching out to her but like before, she held up her own, refusing the contact.

"I'm sorry, but Fumiko-san deserves more than a loveless marriage with an unfaithful man," Sakura muttered, expression serious. "And I'm worth far more than being your other woman."