Chapter Four

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Love In A Time of Hogwarts

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When love is not madness,
it is not love.

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The blood on my face was sticky to the touch by the time I reached the upstairs toilet, thankfully unseen by my other housemates. Cassandra had told me that the bleeding would stop as my gift developed. She said when a seer's body fights against the power of Sight, that Sight forces its way through in unique ways - some seers will choke, some vomit, and some bleed. I had truly thought the blood side effect had started to fade, but what happened to me with Dumbledore and Cassandra was something different. I had never blacked out while attempting a reading before. I had seen blackness and I had lost consciousness before, but I never just lost time. And the way Dumbledore pulled back his hand, just the way he looked at me - something I did or said must have frightened him. I just didn't know what.

I had the door to the toilet only cracked an inch as I used a towel and warm water to wipe my face clean. A quiet knock slightly startled me. It was George, drowsy from sleep, his hair and pajamas unkempt. His eyes widened when he saw the bloody mess all over my face and the sink.

"Freddie, what's happened?" he whispered, slinking inside the toilet.

"I'm fine, George, honestly," I said as he attempted to examine me for wounds. "I had my reading with Dumbledore and Cassandra, remember. It's just a nasty side effect. You've seen it happen to me before."

"Never this bad," he said. "What did you see?"

I set down the towel and looked at him, "I don't know."

George whispered fiercely, latching the door behind for privacy. "What?"

"The last thing I remember was reaching for Dumbledore's hand," I said. "Everything went black but I didn't faint. It was like I just lost time, and when I came out of it —Dumbledore was clutching his hand like I had given him a disease. Before I could understand what had happened, Cassandra was shooing me out the door."

"Do you think you saw something bad?"

"I must have," I said, pushing my hair from my face. "I saw it in his eyes clear as crystal, George, I saw his fear. I did or said something that frightened him."

"I've never known Dumbledore to scare easy," said George, "or at all, really."

"It's just odd that I don't remember anything," I said. "I've seen bad futures before, and I've never just blacked out in the middle of a reading before."

"I reckon Cassandra will speak to you soon," said George. "She'll know what's happened more than anyone."

"I suppose you're right," I nodded. "I'm just going to shower off the evidence of this evening and get some rest."

"I'll see you in the morning," said George, holding my face in his hands and kissing my forehead.

I placed my hands over his and looked up into his eyes with a cheeky grin, "I mean, you don't have to go."

I took a step back and kicked off my trousers and pulled Fred's borrowed t-shirt over my head to expose my completely naked body. George's eyes grew wide, looking me up and down, but he didn't speak for a long moment, "Freddie, you're certain you're ready? I know you and Oliver never—"

"I would never be ready with anyone else," I replied, stepping forward to pull his shirt over his head.

"I just don't want you to think I'm taking advantage—" he stammered. "I don't want you to feel like I am pressuring you too quickly—"

"George, shut up," I said, and as soon as I did he lifted me up into his arms without hesitation. His fingers clawed through my wild mane of hair while my lips traced his collarbone in kisses. George clumsily kicked off his pajama trousers and flicked on the shower spigot. Steam began to fill the room, fogging the mirror as George carried me into the shower and closed the curtain behind us.

–

The small cottage Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick shared was nestled in the historic village of Malahide, Dublin's coastal community. The couple purchased the home not long after Marlene announced she was pregnant. They fell in love with the tranquil sound of the sea that poured through the windows. During the winter, they sat on the balcony and observed the drama of the light, its changing mood and movements over the Irish Sea and Malahide Estuary, over Ireland's Eye and the Hill of Howth. It was their personal sanctuary, an escape from the madness in the world.

It was nearly May and the air was already thick with the summer humidity. The cottage welcomed eight visitors, all in attendance to support Marlene, and mourn the loss of Benjy Fenwick. He had been killed during his weekly night watch in London, only his finger could be salvaged.

James, Lily, Sirius, Gideon, Fabian, Abigail, and her parents - Eleanor and Rudolph had arrived as soon as they heard the news of Benjy's death. Eleanor was so upset that it took Lily offering to help organize the baby's upstairs nursery to pry her away from her daughter's side. Rudolph was in the kitchen, cooking nonstop to busy himself. He could barely stand to look at his incredibly pregnant daughter, broken and lost.

Marlene was sitting solemnly in the couch she and Benjy inherited from his late parents. She swirled red wine around in her long stemmed glass. She had her other hand resting on her pregnant belly. James, Sirius, Gideon, and Fabian sipped on various dark alcohols in their glasses. Gideon was drinking heavily and looked like he wanted to jump out of his skin. No one had spoken in an uncomfortable amount of time and Marlene's dry, Irish voice haunted the room.

"I killed him, you know," said Marlene, sipping her glass of red wine. "He's dead because of me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Marlene," said Abigail, rubbing her elder sister's back beside her on the couch. "Travers and Dolohov murdered Benjy. They are to blame for her death."

Marlene placed her glass of wine on the side table beside her. She sloppily covered her mouth and took a sharp, shuttered breath.

"He wouldn't have joined the Order if it wasn't for me," she whispered in a sharp, painful tone. "He would still be at St. Mungos—"

"—Ben would be absolutely gutted to know you are blaming yourself," said Sirius sternly.

"He's right, Mack," said James. "Ben chose to join the Order because he believed in what we're doing."

"And what is it that we're doing, James?" she snapped. "You-Know-Who is stronger than ever and we are identifying bodies by molars."

"You're rightfully upset, and you're saying things you don't mean," said James gently.

"Oh, you mean because I'm nine months pregnant and my child's father was murdered?" she spat sardonically, tears pouring down her face again. "Maybe it was a bit unnerving to have his remains delivered to me in a cigar box."

Marlene had been one of the first wizards to join the Order of the Phoenix. She sparked a fire under her sister and a handful of others to join the cause. It was her unyielding passion for peace and goodness that inspired so many others to keep fighting against all odds. It was painful to see her faith waver before her closest friends, despite the grave circumstances.

"I'm going to see if Dad needs help in the kitchen," said Abigail uncomfortably. "Fay?"

Fabian put down his drink, gently wrapped his arm around Abigail's waist to escape to the kitchen for a moment.

Sirius slumped down across from Marlene in an oversized leather chair, "You're going to get through this, Mack."

"What?" snapped Marlene, her eyes nearly lighting Sirius ablaze. "You mean give birth alone and raise a child by myself?"

"Mack-"

"I never wanted kids, you know," said Marlene, tears falling easier. "When I found out I was pregnant it was a complete surprise, and I was not thrilled in the slightest. I never imagined myself as a mum, but with Benjy… I could start to see it. I knew more than anything that he would be a great father. He was born for the job, and I was excited to see him be a dad more than anything else."

"You're going to be a good mum, Mack," said Sirius. "The only one doubting you is yourself."

"And you're not going it alone," said James. "You have all of us. We will be here every step of the way."

"Until you're killed, too," said Marlene.

"Sirius," said Fred as he gripped the doorframe to the study, the Golden Trio and Ginny sprinting by him. "Oi, mate, supper is ready."

Sirius jerked awake from the weathered navy couch in the study, gripping the edge as he shot up with such force he nearly fell over. His face was rather clammy, his hair clinging to his cheeks. He blinked a couple times to gather his bearings, "Thanks, be down in a second."

He swung his feet onto the floor and rubbed his eyes. He thought of that night every so often but it was never that vivid. He could almost still smell Benjy's cigar smoke in Marlene's hair. He leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbed his eyes, clicking his jaw before peering up and seeing Marlene's ghost hovering where Fred just stood.

"Blimey, you were sleeping for ages," said Winnie, her arms crossed as she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe. "Did Molly poison you? We've begun to suspect she's plotting something, but we think she'd go after George first."

"Oi," said George, sneaking up from behind Winnie, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on the nook between her neck and shoulder. "Don't listen to her, Padfoot, she'd be the first to go. She's littler, mum would waste less poison trying to kill her."

"I'll tell Molly you said her stew tastes like goblin bogies, and she'll end you straight away," Freddie teased, turning to position herself so she was looking up into George's eyes.

"You wouldn't dare," he said, leaning down so his forehead touched hers.

Winnie stood on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on his lips, "look down."

Her wand was pointed at his trainers which no had their laces tied together. Without missing a beat, she stomped on his toe and caused him to topple over as she sprinted off down the stairs shouting her threat to Molly. George fumbled to untie his shoes before sprinting after her, laughing all the way.

George and Freddie loved each other as much as Benjy and Marlene, Sirius thought, and perhaps it would get them killed, too.

–

"You've really lost your head this time, Dung," I whispered fiercely. "Ten Galleons is more than generous for the lot. You're barmy if you think we'd pay a Knut more."

Harry was sitting beside Mad-Eye and across from Sirius at the far end of the dinner table, looking a bit peaked. I knew I was certainly not alone in feeling quite unsettled about all of the ever developing events, and I knew Harry well enough to see the lot was beginning to take a toll on him.

"Ten Galleons for the lot, then, Dung?"

"Wiv all the trouble I went to to get 'em?" said Mundungus, his saggy, bloodshot eyes stretching even wider. "I'm sorry, but I'm not taking a Knut under twenty."

"Dung likes his little jokes,"said Fred to George rhetorically.

"Yeah, his best one so far has been six Sickles for a bag of knarl quills," said George.

"Be careful, Dung," I warned them quietly. "Moody could have his eye on you."

Mundungus looked nervously over his shoulder.

"Good point, that," he grunted. "Alright, mates, ten it is, if you'll take 'em quick."

"Cheers!" said Fred delightedly, when Mundungus had emptied his pockets into the twins' outstretched hands and scuttled off toward the food. Fred and George took to their feet. "We'd better get these upstairs."

"I'll catch up," I yawned.

"You alright?" asked George, concerned.

"Fine, Georgie," I grinned, crisscrossing my thumb over my chest.

George nodded and smiled, crossed the table and leaned over to place a quick peck on my forehead before following Fred up the stairs (who was very theatrically pretending to be nauseated at the sight of our affection). Things had changed between myself and George since our unexpected reveal, but not really. We were still best mates, still the inseparable trio with Fred, but there was now a deep, evident intimacy that was never there before. It was both lovely and terrifying.

We would be returning to Hogwarts in the morning, hopping on the Express to start our final year of school. It was a bittersweet feeling, graduating. There had been countless memories and lifelong friendships made, scars earned, lessons learned, and mischief managed. We would be leaving Hogwarts and following our dream of opening our own shop. There was so much unknown looming over my head that is was overwhelming at times. All we needed to do was make it out of our Seventh Year alive, and with Travers now free from Azkaban, that may prove more difficult than expected.

I hadn't told Molly or Arthur about my bizarre evening with Cassandra and Dumbledore. I didn't feel as if I was lying, rather protecting them from unnecessary worry. They had become increasingly overprotective of me since my abilities had begun to develop, and I was unwilling to give them another excuse to continuously check on me as if I was a newborn fawn or a wounded bird. Though I was admittedly frightened more frequently than I ever had been before, I was not about to allow myself to appear weak. That was not who I am, nor would it ever be.

Harry watched the twins go, looking slightly uneasy and anxious to get away from Moody's conversation. I pulled out a chair for him to sit down. He was rubbing his scar vigorously. Moody took a swig from his hip flask, his electric blue eye staring sideways at Harry.

"You all right, Potter?" grunted Moody..

Harry handed back the picture without another word, looking sideways at me as I took a seat beside Sirius. Evidently Moody was under the impression he had just given Harry a bit of a treat by sharing an old photograph of the original Order.

"Yeah," said Harry, attempting to grin again. "Er... listen, I've just remembered, I haven't packed my..."

"Broom?" I finished for him, giving him an escape. "It's in the hall closet near the toilet. Don't want to forget that."

"No, I wouldn't," said Harry, getting to his feet, "thanks, Freddie."

Harry crossed the kitchen, slipped through the door and headed up the stairs before anyone could call him back.

"Brilliant, great going, Alastor," I said, rolling my eyes.

"What?" he scoffed.

"For having a magical eye, you're about as blind as a Gnarlak," I huffed.

"Potter's upset over the photo?"

"Oh, well spotted then," I said sarcastically. "I don't think detailing the gruesome deaths of all the former Order members, especially his parents, was precisely the pick-me-up he needed. I don't have to be a Seer to see he's struggling right now."

"It's only going to get worse," said Moody as if he was making some sort of profound statement, "and I know you know that." I paused and looked over at him with an expressionless gaze. "He'll need to control his emotions if we'll have any hope of—"

"I'll talk to him," I said indignantly.

"No, I will talk to him," said Sirius in a voice so stern I barely recognized it. I nodded my reply.

"Would you like to take a look?" said Moody, handing me the photograph and not learning his lesson in the slightest.

"The original Order," I breathed, my hand shook slightly when I saw my mum in the photo. Her stomach was enormous, pregnant with me, no doubt. She looked radiant.

"Yes, there's Marlene, she was pregnant as a feral cat with you at the time," he said in an unaffected way to illustrate the image to me. I felt Sirius's gaze rest on me.

"There's your dad, Freddie, there's Ben," said Sirius in a poignant tone, pointing to my father. He wore a Healer's robe, as was his trade, his arm around my mother's waist and her head resting on his shoulder. His hair looked peppered with bits of early grey, ten or more years my mum's senior, but no less handsome.

"Benjy copped it two weeks after this was taken... shift aside there," he added, poking the picture, and the little photographic people edged sideways, so that those who were partially obscured could move to the front. I swallowed hard and felt Sirius shift uncomfortably in his seat. "There's your Uncle Caradoc Dearborn and his wife, your pretty little Aunt Abigail. Their baby was due a month before Travers paid them a visit. Never did find their bodies in the rubble."

"I recall," I said in a curt tone, growing tired of Moody's crass explanations. "I was there."

"Right, you were," said Moody, unfazed.

The little people in the photograph jostled among themselves, and those hidden right at the back appeared at the forefront of the picture.

"Wait, where are Gideon and Fabian Prewett?" I said, pulling the picture from Moody so the figures moved back before. "I've never seen a photo of them, grown up that is. Molly has loads when they were young, but I guess there weren't many occasions to photograph there for awhile…"

"Right here," said Moody, pointing at the two redheads. "It took five Death Eaters to kill him and Fabian, they fought like heroes."

I looked closer, though they weren't twins, they did look so much like Fred and George — the orange hair and tall, broad stature with cheeky grins. I noticed Gideon looked over at my mother every so often as if to make sure she was still there. I gently placed my fingertips atop them, like they were still alive and trapped inside the image.

"It's an odd feeling to miss people you never really knew," I said without thinking.

"You would have got on well with your dad, McKinnon," said Moody. "He had a good head on his shoulders, dry sense of humor, and loved your mum."

"Your dad chose your name," said Sirius. "Your mum wanted to name you Siobhan. Your dad told her it was too Irish and you could have your mum's last name if he picked your first."

Sirius chucked at the thought. Moody used my shoulder as support, affectionately patting my back and hobbled into the living room to find a good napping spot.

"Molly and Arthur never told me that," I smiled.

"They probably didn't know," he said. "I reckon only a handful of us knew, and I'm the only one still alive."

"Were you as close to my dad as you were to my mum?"

"Nah, Benjy turned out to be a good mate, but he was the reason your mum finally sacked me," said Sirius, chuckling.

"What?"

"Your mum and dad never would have met if it wasn't for me," he said, "and I bet you didn't know that either."

"I didn't," I said, hanging on his every word.

"I went for a pint too many with the boys one night, like I had done so many times before," he started. "Your mum was working late and met the lot of us out after. Well, I got tossed clear out of the pub by my collar and broke my arm—"

"Why'd you get kicked out?"

"I may have called the bartender's mother a troll," he replied with a shrug. "Your mum was positively fed up with my antics, but she insisted on taking me to St. Mungos to get patched up. Your dad was my Healer that night and the rest is history. My arm was fixed, but I had a broken heart a couple weeks later. She had had enough of my drinking, adultering, and general awfulness."

I could tell by Sirius's expression that the memory was a bit painful to discuss.

"Did you love her?" I asked, my eyes locking onto his. He looked surprised at the question, unprepared. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek before leaning back in his chair and releasing a sigh.

"My relationship with Mack had been tumultuous from the start. We were each other's first everything and maybe that kept us coming back together for so long," he started, smiling in spite of himself. "I did love her once, for quite awhile actually now that I think of it... and I think she may have loved me too there for a bit, perhaps when I broke my leg and couldn't ride my motorbike and we spent the summer together."

"But you stayed friends?"

"Of course," he said with certainty. "We were at odds for a bit, but not too long. The platonic love that developed between us was far stronger than any romantic feelings we once shared. Someday you'll know what I mean."

"My only boyfriend before George hates me at the moment, so we'll see," I said, pushing my hair from my face. "I am happy to leave for school soon. I would like more distractions from the relentless guilt I feel."

"He'll get over it and move on eventually," said Sirius. "Don't be too anxious to get to Hogwarts. Time flies and you'll miss your youth without realizing you lost it. I'm going to see you lot off to school on Monday — well, Leo the dog is."

"I don't think that's wise," I said. "With the Azkaban jailbreak and all—"

"You sound dangerously like Molly," said Sirius dryly.

"Bite your tongue," I replied, aghast.

"Just one last time," said Sirius. "I just need a taste of freedom one last time before I'm trapped inside again. I can't let you and Harry leave without saying 'goodbye.' You won't be home again until Christmas. We are living in dark times and we should be treasuring every moment together while we can, tomorrow isn't promised anymore."

—

"George, keep quiet or we'll get caught," I said, covering George's mouth as he moaned into my palm.

I sat straddling his lap, facing him on the large navy velvet living room couch. My fingers ran through his hair as my mouth covered his in a deep, passionate kiss. He continued to moan quietly, running his lips from mine and down my neck to my collar bone.

"Oi!" shouted Fred from the hallway. "You decent?"

George and I immediately separated. I fell back onto my backside onto the hardwood. I quickly snatched up my Chudley Cannons t-shirt off the floor, pulled it back on over my head, and slid my jeans back on. George jumped up, pulled up his trousers and zipped his fly so hard that the zipper almost ripped off. I ran my fingers through my hair to tame it. George and I plopped down next to each other, the Wizard Chess board in front of us serving as a decoy. I flicked my wrist at the pocket doors and unlatched the lock.

Fred pushed open the doors and entered with a cheeky grin from ear to ear, "I'm sorry did I interrupt something?"

"We were just playing chess," I lied.

"Winnie, your shirt is on backwards," said Fred, smirking.

I narrowed my gaze at him and rolled my eyes with a smile. I pulled my arms inside the shirt, twisted it back around straight, and stuck my tongue out at him. Fred handed me an envelope before he sat down in an opposing armchair, propping up his feed on the coffee table. I knew what it was, who it was from, and what it said as soon as I spotted the 'W' on the seal.

"Another letter from Oliver?" said George with an upward inflection.

"It would seem so," I said, tossing the white envelope into the hearth to burn like I had most of the others.

"Don't you owe it to him to read what he has to say?" asked Fred.

"It's too painful to read any longer," I said. "He's understandably emotional and angry and writing hurtful things I know he doesn't mean. I told him that I would reach out once the dust has settled, but I think that upset him."

"He knows about us?" asked George softly.

"Yes, he saw our kiss in the paper which hasn't made things any easier, and I don't blame him there," I replied. "He said we must have been carrying on this elaborate affair behind his back for ages, and I told him that wasn't true. He asked me if I ever truly loved him, and I told him 'yes' because that is the truth."

"He just needs to shag a Puddlemere groupie," said Fred in jest.

"Don't be crass, Fred," I frowned.

"Only joking, Freddie," said Fred with a smile.

—

Once inside the station we lingered casually beside the barrier between platforms nine and ten until the coast was clear, then each of us leaned against it in turn and fell easily through onto platform nine and three quarters, where the Hogwarts Express stood belching sooty steam over a platform packed with departing students and their families.

"I hope the others make it in time," said Molly anxiously, staring behind her at the wrought-iron arch spanning the platform, through which new arrivals would come.

"Oh good," said Arthur, sounding relieved, "here's Alastor with the rest of the luggage, look . . ."

A porter's cap pulled low over his mismatched eyes, Moody came limping through the archway pushing a cart full of their trunks. They had almost unloaded Moody's luggage cart when Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned up with Lupin.

A warning whistle sounded; the students still on the platform started hurrying onto the train. I ruffled the fur atop of Sirius's dog head, a wordless affectionate goodbye. He leaned his head against my hip in reply.

"Quick, quick," said Molly distractedly, hugging us at random and catching me twice. "Winnie, be safe. You three, make good choices."

"Don't we always?" said George with a sly grin.

For one brief moment, the great black dog reared onto its hind legs and placed its front paws on Harry's shoulders, but Molly shoved Harry away toward the train door hissing, "For heaven's sake act more like a dog, Sirius!"

"Love you!" I called out of the open window to Arthur and Molly as the train began to move, while Fred and George and Ginny waved beside me. Arthur and Molly shrank rapidly but the black dog was bounding alongside the window, wagging its tail; blurred people on the platform were laughing to see it chasing the train, and then we turned the corner, and Sirius was gone. The train was gathering still more speed, so that the houses outside the window flashed past and they swayed where we stood.

"He shouldn't have come with us," said Hermione in a worried voice.

"Oh lighten up," said Ron, "he hasn't seen daylight for months, poor bloke."

"Well," said Fred, clapping his hands together, "can't stand around chatting all day, we've got business matters to attend to. See you later," and Fred just before we disappeared down the corridor to the right to find Angelina, Lee, Katie, and Adrian.

Fred pushed open the pocket door to join our friends.

"Well, hello there," said Katie, crossing her legs as a smile crept across her face. "I think some of us had quite the eventful summer."

George blushes, his hand resting affectionately on my hip. Fred slung his arm over my shoulders, "I know, I know — no one saw it coming. Winnie and George? Sure. Me and Freddie? You're just shocked as I was! I reckon you've already seen us on the cover of Witch Weekly—"

"Shove off, Fred," I laughed, punching his shoulder. He pulled back his arm from over my shoulders and faked an injury with a laugh.

"I really have been starved for attention lately," said Fred with a cheeky grin, "Let me live, Freddie."

George and I rolled our eyes and smiled, "I would have to agree with you, Kates."

—

A/N: Thank you for sticking with me. Fred, George, and Freddie have so much more of their story to tell. I won't give up on their story as long as you don't give up on me! This installment will probably move quite a bit quicker, but we'll see. I always struggle to transition the crew from home to Hogwarts.

PS: Ignore any typos, I'll be going back over it tomorrow.

Coming soon: Delores Umbridge meets her worst nightmares, Quidditch becomes quite quarrelsome, Winnie's visions save a life, Dumbledore's Army grows stronger, and Graham Montague may be more dangerous than anyone could have ever anticipated…

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Review.

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