Warnings: death

Neku hadn't realised it yet. He was too much into Shiki Misaki. Joshua felt frustration bubbling beneath the surface, ready to boil over.

"Everyone makes sacrifices." Neku looked so... childish. Just seeing his own corner of the world. I should've known he's no good for this. He cannot save Shibuya or me. Dammit. Joshua hid his feelings, but something within him was broken. Neku was just as useless as he'd feared of.

"First, we complete the mission. After that, we can do whatever you want." Joshua agreed with that. He's a child; I shouldn't expect too much from him.

While they continued on with their missions, Joshua was thinking. Shibuya and he would both be gone very soon. Neku, too. Selfish people were the biggest reason he was going to destroy the city and Neku was a prime example of them. Joshua felt... sad? Hopeless? He didn't know. He hadn't known anything about his own feelings in ages.

Joshua had thought the boy was meaningless. Yes. Seriously meaningless, staring at the mural, smiling like an idiot. The only interesting bit was his Imagination. His usefulness. Yes, it was supposed to stay that way, but...

Joshua noticed the change during the first week. The boy grew a bit kinder. His snarls and grimaces turned into chuckles and smiles. The girl was meaningful to the boy. She had only been his one-way ticket out of the Game, but that had changed. She became the boy's Entry Fee, that one precious thing the Players were supposed to learn to appreciate again. Joshua wasn't certain how he felt about that.

His week together with the boy was full of headaches. They barely got along and the boy only cared about the girl. The boy's misantrophic tendencies stayed strong, however, and Joshua felt happy. There was something keeping he and the boy together, on the same Plane. But...

The boy changed and started seeing people as meaningful entities. Joshua felt betrayed. Anyway, some part of him felt happy, too. Like a bit of hope had been born. The hope the boy would save him from himself. Why was he hoping that again? He couldn't remember.

Joshua saw the horror in the boy's eyes as he "sacrificed" himself, pushing the boy off the roof. Ah. Yes. He was, after all... looking for someone who'd look at him like that.

Neku falling on the ground, dead. He was beautiful. He'd become even more beautiful than Joshua had ever dreamed of. He hadn't shot the Angel who had been pulling all of the strings. The Composer. Neku had accepted him only because they'd been partners. Because of what Sanae had told him. There was no reason for Joshua to think otherwise. But still...

"What are you going to do?" Sanae was smirking. The bastard knew what Joshua was going to do.

"Give Shibuya a new chance." Joshua had turned away from Sanae as he prepared to send Neku and his friends back to the RG.

"Because of Phones?"

"No. Because of my restored belief in humanity."

"So it's because of Phones." Joshua spun around, irritated.

"Stop talking about him like he matters to me." Sanae laughed like an idiot he was.

Joshua felt sad when he was watching Neku meeting his friends. Looking at them from far away made him feel irritated, cold, hopeless... lonely. He wasn't supposed to feel lonely; the music of his city was meant to be enough for someone like him.

"It's their world." Joshua wished Sanae would stay quiet. Of course it was their world. People lived there happily, doing their daily things. Neku would live and marry someone, have his kids, grow old... alongside someone else. Joshua wanted to scream. He shook his head. It wasn't any use to him to think of these feeble thoughts.

Shibuya was quiet. Or mute, rather. He couldn't hear it at all. Joshua felt terrified; sweating, clenching his fists, gritting his teeth. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was made to hear the music, made to control it, made to live within it.

Neku was dead. And this time, he might stay dead. Joshua wanted nothing more than finish Coco Atarashi. Neku was trapped. Trapped in Shinjuku, all alone. Even if it had been Joshua himself sending the boy there, he felt like it hadn't been the right decision. Of course it was the right decision. Better than having Neku Erased by someone.

Why couldn't he hear the music? He wanted to listen to the sounds of his city – until Neku came back home, at least.

Neku had changed. During his three years of being without human contact, he'd grown into a man. Joshua couldn't help but giggle when he noticed how thin Neku still was. A boy or a man, whatever, he was still one little pipsqueak to Joshua.

The hardships of all of the Games and Erasures and whatnot had developed Neku. They had challenged him and made him even more beautiful being who shone happiness all around himself. Joshua felt proud of him, real proud. The Composer followed his ex-proxy all around, but chose not to show himself in front of Neku. The boy deserved to have a normal life for once.

"Neku!" Shiki was waiting for Neku who broke into a huge, warm smile when seeing her. They hugged and Shiki nuzzled against Neku affectionately, Neku releasing small humming noises. Joshua turned to look away for a while; the lovebirds needed some privacy. And he needed time to bite his lip and let his nails carve some crescent moons in his palms. I shouldn't hold onto this human body, it's really a nuisance.

Neku and Shiki walking down the street. Neku and Shiki eating ramen. Neku and Shiki taking pictures together. Neku and Shiki... Joshua teleported away at that point; those two were a bit too close to each other for his taste.

Joshua threw himself down on the couch at Dead God's Pad and prayed he could sleep. Or lose his memory or something. Or dream. Just one little dream would be enough; one little dream where there wouldn't be Shiki and Neku would be so close to him.

It was supposed to be a normal day with Hazuki. Joshua was trying to get along with the other Composer, if only because they'd known each other for the longest of times.

"I don't understand why you're so worried about him," Hazuki said. Joshua pretended he hadn't heard him, looking at the phone screen. "He's a living person and seems to be having a normal life." Joshua frowned, staring at Hazuki.

"Have you been spying on Neku or something?" Hazuki, for all of his eerie emotional distance, had some sense to shake his head.

"Don't worry, Joshua. I'm not interested about him the same way you are." Joshua clicked his tongue and shoved his phone in his pocket.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." They fell quiet after that, letting Shibuya's sounds fill the silence with the endless buzzing of life and desires.

WildKat was the last place Joshua had been expecting to see Neku at. Neku was looking at the dusty window; nobody had been in the building for years.

"Josh!" Joshua was so surprised he forgot to escape; Neku sprang towards him, stopping just short of colliding with him. "Where have you been, you arse?! I've been waiting for you forever!"

"Keep waiting," Joshua said and teleported on the roof of 104. He sat down, burying his face in his hands, trying to calm down. Sanae. Neku. Both of them beings with whom he'd never interact again. Joshua trembled and the cacophony of Shibuya flooded all around him. Must calm down. Cannot bring the city down with me. Sighing, the Composer stood up and prepared himself for a new Game.