REMEMBER – words and phrases in nonbold italics are what each man wrote and then crossed out. To read the story in its proper form, though, you should hop over to ArchiveOfOurOwn (same story title, author name is Ella_Greggs).

POSTMARKED: "Ariel"

Dear Dad,

This letter is very hard to write. Please don't think too harshly of me as you read it.

I'm ashamed to say that for some time now I've been misleading you about River' condition. It's very hard to admit this to you but she hasn't really been getting better. Oh, there are lucid moments, times when she is her clever, brilliant, impish old self; but the chaos in her mind, the nightmares and demons aren't going away. I feel terrible about lying to you and Mother all these months. I didn't want to add to your worries, and maybe I was misleading myself, too, wanting so badly for it to be true. I hope you can forgive me.

However, there is good news. I just acquired better information, detailed information, on what exactly those butchers did to her at the Academy and now I'm sure I think her treatment can make real progress.

I'm a little proud of myself for coming up with the plan to get the data. With the crew's help, we made our way into a hospital in Ariel City (I might as well tell you where we were – the authorities know, anyway). There, I put River in a diagnostic three-dimensional neuroimager. It was a desperate move, but I had to take some action. Recently she had a very violent episode. Remember I mentioned there is one crew member, a mercenary, who doesn't like us? Well, she sliced him with a knife! Deep enough to cause a scar, not worse, but still an unthinkable act for River before the Academy. Actually, she might in a twisted way have thought she was defending me, because he was insulting me at the time. But it was such an extreme reaction, I realized I had to do something. The mercenary River cut, he wanted us thrown off the ship, but the captain refused, for which I am so grateful. But the episode made our situation here even more precarious. We are totally dependent on the captain's good will and can't risk him deciding we're too much trouble to keep onboard.

Here's what I learned from the neuroimaging scan. They cut into your sweet daughter's brain, Dad! They did it again and again. They stripped her amygdala. That's the part of the brain that controls responses to emotions, most notably fear and anger. But it also impacts memory. They stripped it, meaning she feels everything, responds to every external stimulus, without being able to self-regulate. Her left frontal lobe shows signs of tampering, which would explain her altered perception of objective reality. I'm sure they also manipulated her brain somehow to heighten her intuition and render her psychic. I know, I know, how can a person be psychic? But she undeniably is – I've seen her literal read minds, and even somehow make accurate predictions. A modern-day Cassandra. Once I've analyzed the data more thoroughly, I'm hoping I can figure out how they did this to her and take steps towards reversing this damage. I'm already devising a new treatment regime with the medical supplies I was able to get on Ariel. I'm not giving up hope, Dad, and I don't want you to, either.

River didn't want to go to the hospital, she was afraid, and after finding out what they did to her, it's no wonder! But she was so brave, Dad. You'd have been so proud of her.

The man she cut with the knife, the mercenary who wanted earlier to throw us off the ship? Well, he saved us from the authorities. He's a big man and tremendously strong. It was amazing, actually, how he fought off the federal agents or whatever they were. That's the second time he's saved me from direct harm, the first time being a few months back when that other criminal, his former partner, threatened to kill me. I don't understand this man at all. He's crude and rude and violent, and he clearly doesn't like me and River. It can't be just because the captain keeps him in line. I don't know how to explain his behavior, other than to think maybe he's not as selfish as he seems?

Even when this is all over and River and I come home, even if I am restored to my place in the Central Hospital, I don't see how I can ever look upon "the authorities" with anything but suspicion and contempt. The Rim may be a lawless place, where might makes right. For every honorable man, there's another who'd betray his own mother for some booty or "coin." Or hurt people just because they can. But out here at least you know where you stand. No one pretends any different, whereas I see now that our lives on Osiris, all the Core Planets, is built on a lie, a pretty facade. The Powers That Be, they don't want what's best for us, they just want to control us. And woe betide anyone who steps out of line, like the Tam family.

Let me end on a happy note, though. River drew a very pretty picture in crayon of matryoshka dolls for me and now it's hanging in my "bunk" (living quarters). She's still my lovely, talented mei mei. Just buried under layers of horrific experiments and trauma. I'll do my very best to create an effective treatment for her, Dad. I promise you I will apply all my skill and every waking moment to the effort. And I'm hopeful, truly I am. But I suspect that she will never be the same as she was before the Academy, and that makes me unutterably sad.

Love,

Simon

Dear Simon,

Your latest letter made me angry, sad, and hopeful. I not happy you downplayed the reality of River's condition before, but I fully understand why you did it. When I read what you'd written, my first reaction was fury at the barbarity that was done to my little girl, but my second thought was to shield your mother from the news. Just like you, I wanted to spare her extra pain. So of course I don't blame you. Just be honest with me in future, okay? That's all I ask.

River as a psychic! It sounds incredible, fantastical. As you say, what evil purpose did they intend by doing such a thing? Did they want to make her a spy or something? I can't help wondering how many other poor children they've experimented on and gotten away with it. And how can you, even with all your undeniable skill, reverse such damage?

In the spirit of honesty, I will tell you what happened to us after you escaped from Ariel, even though I don't want to add to your worries, either. Do you remember I wrote that your mother and I were taken to the police station when you first went into hiding and questioned by two men wearing blue gloves, the ones claiming to be from the Academy? Well, they've reappeared. This time, federal officers practically dragged us from our beds. At the station, they told us you'd broken into the hospital on Ariel. They showed us surveillance video of you pushing River in a wheelchair through the recovery room with a very large medtech accompanying you. I'm guessing that was your mercenary? It was like a fresh wound watching you both. To see River again after so long, nearly three years, and realize all the time we've missed together. She's a young woman now. You looked so handsome and confident in your doctor's uniform. It made my heart ache for the career that you could be enjoying now, the one you worked so hard to earn, if circumstances had been less cruel. If your father had been less of a fool.

Once we'd seen the video, they separated your mother and me in different interrogation rooms and these men with blue gloves took turns questioned each of us for over four hours. Always the same questions about whether we'd heard from you, where you might have gone, who might be helping you. They threatened to throw us in prison for aiding and abetting fugitives. They threatened to seize the house and all our assets. They threatened our jobs. They even brought Victoria to the station, which scared the poor woman to death. Fortunately, she knows nothing, and they let her go after about two hours. This time, the police wouldn't let me call Clive, so your mother and I were on our own. A gross violation of our civil liberties, as I loudly and repeatedly pointed out to them. It seems our newly restored social standing cannot protect us from these ominous men.

When we got home, we found the house had been ransacked. Victoria was in tears. I was so worried they'd found your letters and it took all my fortitude not to run to the hiding place immediately and check. But I had to wait until Victoria had gone for the night. The letters were safe, but I thought perhaps I should burn them. That certainly would have been the prudent thing to do. I even went so far as to hold them over the fireplace, but in the end, I just couldn't do it. They're my only link to you and I can't bear to have that severed. I'll just have to hope they aren't discovered during the next house search (which, sad to say, seems like an inevitable occurrence).

I called Clive right after we got home. He's proved himself to be a true friend, the only one I have, as it turns out. The only one besides your mother and me who sees how nefarious and authoritarian our government really is. He's already drawing up papers to sue the government for wrongful detention and harassment. But after seeing how thoroughly they stonewalled our earlier efforts to hold the Academy accountable, I have no expectation such a lawsuit will be at all effective. As you said in your letter, my eyes have also been opened to how little actual freedom we all have on the Core planets. I, too, have become contemptuous of the authorities, and even the people around me who go about their lives blindly trusting in the Parliament.

You say now you have the diagnostic information and tools you need to create a more effective treatment for River? That's excellent, and it sounds like it was very much worth the risk, even though I hate the fact that you were forced to take such a risk in the first place. Your mother and I have total faith in you, son. You are a brilliant doctor. If anyone can help River, it is you. That said, I know you are a trauma surgeon and not a neurologist, and that your resources are very limited out there on the Rim. So please don't be too hard on yourself if it's slow going.

All our love,

Dad (and Mom)

P.S. – If you think it wouldn't be missed, could you surreptitiously slip that matryoshka picture in with your next letter? We'd love to have it. But only if you think no one, including your psychic sister, will notice its absence. Love, Dad

Author's Note: FYI, River really did draw a colorful picture of matryoshkas for Simon at the end of the episode "Ariel."