AN: No answering reviews because I messed my whole thing up. This is CHAPTER 30. Short and simple chapter.

"Wait, wait, WAIT. What did you say?" Miles exclaimed, sitting upright in Barricade. He had been laying out in the front seat, the travelling Autobots, Neutral, and Decepticons just getting ready to leave. Sam had of course gotten inside Bumblebee. All the mechs were using the open comm link so they could communicate back and forth with eachother, as well as the NEST base back in Nevada. Soundwave's alt mode was a typical soccer mom's van, and all his Cassetticons were inside of him. Orion was inside of Optimus.

"That since we're in Canada, the trip back to the NEST base will take awhile." Optimus reiterated.

"So... That means... Pfft!" And Miles started to laugh. Hard.

Sam turned in his seat, looking at Miles through Bumblebee's back windshield. "Miles? Bro? What's up? You're scaring us here..."

That's when Epps laughter drifted through all of the radio's. The Sergeant obviously got whatever Miles was laughing about, and was amused as well, but even when asked by Prowl he wouldn't explain.

"Sam," Miles said shakily, gulping in huge breaths of air as he tried to calm down. "We're aliens." Bumblebee snorted, and Barricade would have rolled his optics if he was in bipedal form.

Then, "Oh my God. We're aliens inside of aliens!"

"Now that is some major Twilight Zone shit. Aliens inside of aliens? Crazy man. My life is... complete. It's complete." Epps snickered, and they could hear a soft smacking sound. "Ow! Will, you slagger!"

"Slagger!" A new voice chirped happily, followed by rapid fire clicking and a giggle. "Slagger, slagger!"

There was a sudden shocked silence. This lasted for about a second.

"ROBERT EPPS!" This was the combined voices of Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, and Optimus.

"It's always the black guy!"

After Epps had recieved his thorough chewing out by the four angry Autobots, everything had calmed down. Except then Orion would repeat the Cybertronian cussword, and it would start all over again. Miles had laughed at Epps, as had Sam, in the beginning, but then the two had quickly gotten bored. Sam fell asleep for a few hours, only to be brought back to the real world by Miles.

"-SO MUCH MONEY YOU-PIZZA-HATE-SOUNDWAVE!" Bumblebee had been startled by the sudden outburst, and had been trying to cut it off so it wouldn't wake Sam.

It appeared everyone else was just as startled, since nothing was said at first.

Soundwave spoke up hesitantly, "I... apologize?"

"Ratchet, I think you need to give Miles a thorough mental check up when we return to the base." Barricade commented, voice as dull as one's would be when commenting on the weather.

Miles growled, "I don't need a mental check up, Barry! It's his fault! He made me miss out on my pizza! You know how much that cost?"

"Oh, Miles, you didn't." Sam sighed, sitting up. He knew exactly what his best human friend was talking about now.

"I did." Miles huffed, then paused, a sheepish quality entering his voice. "And admittadly I forgot that we could all hear each other."

"So what was your point of screaming if you thought only I could hear you?" Barricade growled.

"Someone who'd scream back so he could keep screaming?" Will offered, laughing.

"What is this all about? A pizza?" Prowl asked over Will's laughing.

"It turns out that meeting giant alien robots changed one's views on life and the world in general." Sam remarked dryly. "Who knew?" This was added sarcastically. "So, when we weren't memorizing our school books page by page, we were generally bored out of our minds. Books, video games, beating each other's faces in with pillows? So not as interesting when there's a voice in the back of your mind saying that you could be experiencing this with a giant alien robot."

"We got bored easily." Miles whined.

"Very easily. When we'd take breaks from school we'd google random ideas to keep us entertained." Sam continued. "For awhile we just stuck to Omegle, but after that one dude with the turtle fetish just- No, I'm not going there. I had a nightmare after that."

"You had a nightmare after Candy Mountain, too." Miles, snickering.

"Those things steal spleens! They stole mine! That's scary!" Sam trying to defend himself.

Barricade growled, "Was there a point to this?"

"Impatient much?" Sam retorted, huffing. "So, we ended up thinking of how different the menus to say McDonalds may be over in other countries. One of them we looked at was Pizza Hut, and in Japan they had this pizza with shrimp. Like the crust has mayo and shrimp in it or something, right? Well I, being normal, was disgusted. Miles however suggested we call the local pizza hut and see if they could make it, and badger them pointlessly when they said no. Like I said, we were bored. However, I didn't think Miles would go that far."

Miles smirked, "Did you know Trent worked at Pizza Hut? I kept requesting him."

Sam groaned, and muttered something about Miles having a death wish.

"Oh, that explains everything. We wondered why Trent stormed in pissed yelling about you and Sam disappearing just to mess with him." Epps snickered. "By the way, can't wait to have you guys back."

"I wonder if they'll still make that..." Will trailed off.

"I actually hope so. I really want to try it now." Miles sighed.

"Okay, eww." Sam muttered at the same time Epps went, "Disgusting!"

Miles and Will laughed. Barricade sighed, "I think both Miles and Will, Ratchet."

"Guys, where are you?" Will's voice came over the radio.

"We just entered Topeka, Kansas, why?" Miles responded. The name had him laughing from some tv show he had watched that had made fun of it.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" Epps cried, the sound of him running into the control room where Will and Prowl was drifting across. "That Bristish bastard let them in! We're going to die."

Sam blinked, staring at Bumblebee's radio. "When did we get someone British?"

"NEST is trying to involve other countries. British Special Air Service Forces agent Graham." Optimus informed the two teens, who were the only ones out of the loop. He was also telling Soundwave and the Cassetticons, but he doubted they cared.

"And as good as that is," Barricade drawled sarcastically, "What exactly do you mean by intruders, Epps?"

"The mothers." Epps whispered.

Just then the control room door slamming open could be heard. The human sized one, anyway.

"Robert, William." Elizabeth's voice floated out to the travelling group, sounding almost too sweet and happy. "Where are our babies?"

"Elizabeth, Judy, it is nice to see you both again." Prowl greeted the two women. There was silence for a moment.

"Prowl, I'd suggest not speaking unless you want involved. We have issues with these soldiers." Judy.

A hesitant pause. "Understood." Prowl clearly still remembered the rolling pin incident.

Will coughed, "Judy, Lizzie, your boys are on their way to this base as we speak."

"And why aren't they on their way to their homes?" Elizabeth asked, sounding just as sweet as before.

Sam and Miles looked at each other, grinning. Bumblebee and Barricade drove side by side so the two teens could communicate to each other through hand signals and expressions.

"Uh, well... Ratch's better than any human doctor concerning their... circumstances?" Epps replied, though in the end it sounded more like a question.

There was a beat of silence. "Our babies were hurt?" Judy again, her voice taking on a dangerous note.

Sam snickered, "Mom, we're fine!"

"Sammie! Oh baby, are you okay? What about Miles?"

"I'm fine, Judy." Miles grinned. "And sorry, I kinda drug Sam along for the ride."

"Miles Milton Lancaster, we are going to have a talk when you get home!"

Miles flinched slightly. The dreaded full name had been used, and he knew he was in for it. "Sorry, mom, but I had to. It was Orion. And it wasn't like it would have made much difference whether I willingly got kidnapped or not. Still would've gotten kidnapped."

"Soundwave: Apologizes for causing femme creator's worry. Objective: Protect the sparkling."

"Soundwave, is it? I'm Judy, Sam's mother."

"I'm Elizabeth, Miles' mother."

Then they spoke together, "And you're going to be doing a lot more than apologizing when we get through with you."

By the time they finally got back to Nevada, most of Christmas Day was already over, and the two boys were starving. Ratchet was reluctant to let them drink anymore Energon, and there wasn't anywhere open in the United States on this particular holiday. Even Walmart closed its' doors.

So the two mothers had commandeered the NEST cafeteria, and cooked up a feast. It had been the first place the boys had gone, despite Elizabeth and Judy's protests as they were dragged away to wait in the medbay, and that only lasted about twenty minutes. When they reemerged Bumblebee teased them, saying he was surprised they actually managed to leave the plate's behind.

While they had been eating, Elizabeth and Judy had been allowed to corner Soundwave while he was being looked over by Ratchet, and teach him the wrath of a human femme. Ratchet had barely managed to not laugh, though he did let out a little snort when Soundwave's optics widened at some of the things Judy was threatening to do with his exhaust port. After they had finished Soundwave had calmly stated that he was now happy he could not read human's minds.

And then came the reunion, as Judy and Elizabeth practically tackled their sons, then dragged them off to do their own health checks. If it looked like either of the boys was ready to start crying with their mothers, no one said a thing.

Now they all sat in the human rec-room, minus Soundwave, his Cassetticons, Prowl, and Prime. The two teens were fighting sleep, and their mothers were letting them, happy just to have their children back in one piece. After awhile Epps commented that since everything the teens had brought to make the rec-room interesting had been tossed out along with them, that it was boring and they needed to bring stuff back in.

"Boring, huh?" Bumblebee asked, a devious smirk finding its' place on his face. "Let me and 'Cade put on a show for you then."

He proceeded to tackle the ex-con, and tickle him. This shut Epps up, as he and Miles began to laugh gleefully, and Sam to snicker.