AN: So, doing something on the NEST base without it being a complete goofing around! YAY!
Reviews: Thanks to writergurl616, TransformerJunkie, and Fk306 animelover for reviewing! LOVE YOU ALLLL
BrowneyedShamer: I'm so happy that you enjoy this, and it could help cheer you up after your surgery! As for Miles and Barricade: Right now I imagine just bromance, though I am torn. I do have a seperate piece of a previous chapter that does have BxM, just because I like the idea, buuut I don't think I'll actually pair them together in this story. However, if I bother to continue What a Smooth Cat I might put it in there.
Jacqueline Walker: Yay, a new reviewer! I'm glad you like it :)
AN2: BrowneyedShamer is not the first to ask me about having BxM, because I am kind of hanging on the edge of that friendship/brother or friendship/romance thing. This is mainly because of my own indecision over whether or not I want them together. So far I have no plans of putting them together as more than close friends in this story, however, I would like to know my reader's opinions. What do you all think of Barricade/Miles? Are there any other non-cannon pairings that you might want to see?
AN3: Before this story I really had no desire to write fanfiction. I didn't even think I'd be even remotely good at it, but the '07, '09, and the newest transformer movie are fairly easy to understand, or at least base some characters off of. And the fact that Miles just basically disappeared annoyed me. For me, I enjoy writing this story, and adding a hopefully strong does of humor to it. I've found I enjoy thinking up these humoruous things, and then writing about them.
I hope that others like this story just as much as I do, and that I can make you laugh! Thank you all for reading!
Sam was alone in the kitchen with Graham. One of the newest members of NEST, and the British man didn't seem to be doing so well. He avoided Epps, Will, and Fig beyond what was necessary, as Will was the Captain, and Epps technically his SIC. The British man seemed to stick to training his regime of soldiers, and that was that. He tended to avoid the Cybertronians.
This had caused Will and Epps to become a little less then inviting towards their newest fellow NEST soldier. Fig was a little better, but not by much, considering he spent a lot of his time helping Sideswipe when anything set Sunstreaker off. Which happened to be a lot.
"How can you two do that?" Graham asked Sam, standing next to the teen as they did dishes. "Well, Miles does it more, but you've done it too..."
Sam blinked, "Can you define what we're doing? We do a lot of stuff."
"Sleep in them. The Cybertronians."
"Oh, that, well... I dunno, I guess we feel safe. I know Miles has been doing it more if he has a nightmare or something, like I did after Mission City." Sam shrugged. "They're our friends, and we know they'll keep us safe. It helps that they can make themselves really comfy, too."
"Oh."
They were silent for awhile as they continued doing their chores. Sam washed, and Graham dried. The teen kept glancing over at the older man, remembering all too well how jumpy he was around the Cybertronians. He didn't like to ride in their hands, and would prefer to drive himself.
"So what about you, dude? You seem pretty jumpy around the mechs. That's not gonna go over well if you want to stay here."
Graham started to put the dried dishes away. "I don't want to offend them."
"If you offend them they'll just tell you. Besides, they're pretty open minded when it comes to us."
"Yeah, tell me by eating me." Graham snorted.
"...What?"
"Oh, come on Sam. You should know, too. Sideswipe said if something offends one then they eat it."
Sam started to snicker, and Graham stared at the teen.
"Oh, Primus, Graham!" Sam laughed. "No, just no."
A short silence. "So...I won't be eaten?"
Snickers. "No. Never listen to Sideswipe."
"But Fig told me I should always listen to whatever any Cybertronian says..."
"Did you bother checking the list of what humans have been claimed by the Cybertronians, and therefore you shouldn't do anything to because said Cybertronian, or Cybertronains, might decide to get you? I know Prowl started to give them out, Will said so. Fig's the twins major!"
Graham scowled, "Excuse me, I believe I need to go have a talk with someone." And the older male strode out of the kitchen.
Sam just snickered. The teen suddenly understood why the British soldier had been acting the way he had.
Miles was in the medbay, sitting on Ratchet's desk as he watched the Chief Medical Officer work on Barricade's arm. From what Miles could actually understand of it, Ratchet was getting the circuitry ready for his weapons to be reinstated, but most of the big words the mech had used had flown right over the young teen's head, so he had simply nodded and not asked.
Near to him stood Bumblebee, there to finish up with his vocalizer. The scout was close enough so that the two could pass a data pad back and forth, playing tic-tac-toe. So far they had 132 consecutive ties. Mainly they kept playing to annoy Ratchet, who had gotten aggravated when the two started to play I-spy when Sam had been with them, and had told them to see how many times they could play tic-tac-toe. So they had continued, loudly announcing that it was a tie each time.
When Miles felt his phone go off, he was understandably more than happy to look at his new message. Doing something to annoy Ratchet never got old, especially when he couldn't toss anything at a human, but that didn't mean tic-tac-toe didn't get boring after so long. He saw it was from Sam.
Come to the cafe roof. Alone ;D
"He-" Miles started, but was quickly cut off by Ratchet when the CMO slammed his servo down on a table.
"It's another fragging TIE, I get it!" The med-bot snarled.
Miles blinked, then looked at the data pad. "Actually, ye-no...If I took my next move I'd win." The teen sounded almost confused, before he looked up at Bumblebee. "You're letting me win! Cheater!"
Bumblebee clicked at him playfully, and Ratchet growled.
"So what were you going to say?"
"Hey, Bee, Sam gets weirder every day. I think it's the Cybertronians' fault, mostly yours." Miles informed, grinning.
"He-!" Bumblebee started to say in an offended manner, only to be hit about the helm with a well aimed wrench. "Ow!"
"Shut up you fragger! I said nothing beyond a few clicks and warbles!" Ratchet growled, stalking over to the yellow Autobot scout. He didn't even look at Miles before saying, "You, out."
Miles saluted Ratchet, and slipped of the CMO's desk without a word. He waited until he was out the door before saying, "See ya, Mama Hatchet!"
He wasn't too surprised when he heard a wrench hit the wall above where his head had been. Instead, he snickered.
The teen jogged all the way up to the cafeteria's roof, pausing just inside to catch his breath, then opening the door and stepping out of it. He blinked in surprise when he saw Sam standing at the center of the roof, a grin firmly on his face, and Graham standing slightly behind the teen, looking rather unhappy with the situation.
"We got us a gentleman who needs help, Miles."
Miles smirked, "Then us being the fine gentlemen we are should help out our fellow gentleman, Samual."
Graham, looking between the two, audibly sighed. He could already guess he was getting 'help' whether he wanted it or not.
"Okay, so maybe the Dinobots weren't the best place to start out." Sam said, watching as Miles attempted to calm down the shaking NEST officer known as Graham. The British man was a bit paler than normal, and really all that was shaking was his hands, which held a mug of coffee in them.
"They tried to EAT me!" Graham cried, looking at Sam with wide and betrayed eyes. He hadn't been willing to go to Epps and Will with his little... fear, but he had hardly expected one of the teens on base to nearly get him eaten.
Miles huffed, "Grimmy did not try to eat you. That's just how he hugs. His arms are so tiny, he wraps you up in his mouth instead."
"The other one tried to fly off with me before the T-rex tried to eat me. And I don't care what you said, he tried to eat me!" Graham grumbled, glaring at the two teens.
Miles and Sam looked at each other.
"Swoop wasn't trying to fly off with you... Okay, he was. He has this bad nesting habit where if he likes something he just wants to take it with him... Especially if it's shiny." Sam offered for a weak explanation.
"Shiny as in Sunstreaker shiny. And let me tell you, that mech was not happy. All of the five times it's happened. Fig'n'Sides love it though. So does everyone else." Miles grinned.
Graham just continued to glare at the two.
The two teens had left Graham on his own for the moment, going into a far away corner of the room to converse with eachother.
"This can't be that hard!" Sam groaned. "We just need to think of a 'bot who's the least likely to have a bad second-first impression on Graham."
After the dinobots Sam and Miles had tried introducing Graham to Bumblebee. However the young Scout was still being worked on by Ratchet, and in the process they had managed to get Bumblebee to jerk just enough that it ruined everything. The resulting 'Hatchet fit', as Sideswipe had deemed them, had scared all of them, and had the two teens quickly pushing Graham back out of the med-bay and far away from it. Poor Bumblebee couldn't follow them.
Miles nodded, "Ratchet's a no, obviously. Maybe Barry?"
"Unlike you, Barricade scares normal people when he growls and snarls."
"Aw, c'mon. You know as well as I do that's just because it's a force of habit!"
"The day Barricade breaks that 'force of habit', as you so call it, and -say- breaks into song, I will go and beg Shockwave to kill me."
"Huh... I wonder if they could be pro-"
"Miles, back on track!"
Miles huffed and pouted at his fellow teen, glancing back at Graham. The older male seemed quite content to be left alone for now.
Sam rolled his eyes, "Bee's with Ratchet, so he's a no. Prowl... maybe, but I dunno. He's kinda off putting at first with how formal he is, depending on the person."
"Blurr's a no. Need to be able to understand him, and see him, first."
"Ironhide's a definite no. Almost as bad as Ratchet."
"Wheeljack, too. Last thing we need is for Jack to use his amazing 'I can explode anything!' powers, and Graham to be caught in the crossfire."
"Ratbat's a maybe. And Orion."
"Sam, Orion is a sparkling, and Ratbat may as well be. That won't help with adult mechs!"
It was Sam's turn to huff. "True. No to either set of twins."
"Soundwave's the same as Prowl, but a bit worse because everyone still has that OMG-Decepticoooon feeling towards him. Ravage can't talk just yet."
"Well there's..." Sam trailed off as a thought came to him, and he slapped his hand to his forehead. "Optimus! Duh!"
"How did we not think of this before? Graham, gather your nuts back into your pants! We go again!"
Graham turned wide eyes towards them.
"How the hell did this fail?" Miles whispered to Sam, eyes wide in horror.
Everything had been going perfectly. Optimus had been Optimus, the Prime who had to have a very good and large sense of humor, as well as an astounding amount of patience, to deal with his Autobots. He and Graham had been getting along perfectly, especially since Sam had taken a moment to speak to the large 'bot before having the two meet. Again.
That all ended when Graham got in Optimus' offered servo, and the two had walked out of his office ahead of Sam and Miles. The next thing they knew, there was a loud bang, and Optimus was going down. He had somehow managed to not squash Graham, catching himself with one hand just before he did. He had even been propping himself back up when Ironhide came along, and another loud bang sounded. The Weapons Specialist had fallen on his Prime.
This time it was only by a very narrow margin that Graham had escaped safely. So narrow, in fact, that some of his pants had been sacrificed in saving his life.
Naturally the British man had gotten up, clambered over the tangled pile of mechs, and paused in front of Sam and Miles as they stood with their mouths gaping. He had proceeded to growl out something like 'Never again', before running off to not be seen for the next few hours.
Sam growled, a look of anger gracing his face for one of the few times towards a member of the NEST base. "The twins!"
"That's why we've thought Graham was just being a total aft?" Epps gaped at the two teens. Then both he and Will turned to look at Fig with a scowl.
Fig held his hands up defensively, "Honestly, I thought he would have figured it out by now, gotten close to a mech, or at least heard something! And Sideswipe never told me what he was going to say. Just back him up on it. Had I known I would have told him... within at least a week."
"First, Sideswipe is having a bad influence on you. Stick with Sunstreaker." Will glared, "And I want to have a talk with Sideswipe."
"Too late." Miles said cheerfully. "Sam channeled Hatchet and Judy. Poor mech never knew what hit him."
"Ay dios mio!" Fig laughed, and no one bothered to yell at him for once. That Spanish was relatively easy to understand.
Will sighed, "So we need to extend an apology towards Graham. We do tend to tell horror stories about the 'bots at the barracks... Mostly because we never had a reason not to. No one was scared of 'em before."
"Poor Graham-cracker." Epps frowned.
"I think he might like it better when you two were ignoring him." Miles smirked.
The two teens and three soldiers stood with their mouths hanging open as they looked at the scene before them.
Trailbreaker, who had stuck to himself and his fellow 'bots for the most part, while staying polite towards the organics, had Graham sitting on his shoulder as he worked on an alarm system that Wheeljack had designed to be put around the base's perimeter.
He had been asked to take a needed component to Trailbreaker by a human who had been asked by Wheeljack, but the other human was busy, and it wasn't like Graham could politely refuse as he had nothing he had to do at that time. So, filled with fear after the past adventures of the day, he had gone and seeked out Trailbreaker, helping the mech out as he requested.
Trailbreaker, who held a fear of stepping on the strange tiny organics when he should be protecting them, which stemmed from his low self confidence, had decided that being polite should overrule his feelings towards the organics. So the he had began a conversation, and somehow the two had managed to hit it off.
The British man had a grin on his face, and was talking away happily towards the mech. The mech seemed to be responding in kind, though none of them, not even Miles, could hear the low spoken conversation.
"GAH!" Sam cried, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.
Graham looked at Sam in shock, though he was more shocked to see his fellow NEST soldiers with the two teens then what Sam had did. "Uh... Problem solved?"
"Welcome to the base, Graham-cracker." Epps snickered, grinning.