In the Wake of What Follows
Chapter Seven: Twenty Questions
In the early morning, Terra found she wasn't the only one awake. On her way to the bathroom, Keiko and Botan ran down the hall with a bunch of freshly pressed table clothes in their hands. On her way back from the bathroom Keiko and Botan ran down the hall with wooden boxes Terra suspected held silverware. Terra had missed the rehearsal dinner, which was fine because she wasn't part of the wedding part. It appeared they had to wash everything last night and reset the makeshift banquet hall now.
When Terra ducked into the kitchen for a quick breakfast, Yusuke was prepping meals with the help of a few friends Terra didn't recognize. The whole area had been commandeered for the making of the feast for that night. Someone handed her a bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks and she was shooed out of the room. Terra decided it would be best to eat in her room.
Voice carried through the walls all morning. Excited, nervous, stressed, but all lively, all happy. The atmosphere of the wedding geared Terra into an almost cheerful disposition. It wasn't real happiness, but Terra felt lighter than she had in long while.
As she got dressed, Terra couldn't stop thinking about how weird it was to be wearing fancy clothes. A cupped bra, tights, heels, her long sleeved dress, jewelry; she hadn't worn anything so put together in a long while. Terra didn't have a mirror in her room and the bathroom on this side of the building was constantly being used by wedding guests too impatient to wait for the one on their side. She was thankful her hair was so short. It couldn't really look messy.
While it was weird to be wearing such nice things again, Terra felt so comfortable in heals and a dress. Her mother brought her to a lot of parties growing up – not quite a debutant, but definitely expected to show up at any work events. Her mother had worked for a popular fashion magazine, so they attended a lot of launch parties. Plus, college parties. Terra may not have been a social butterfly, but she did enjoy a good night out binge drinking and learning how to run through Tokyo in five-inch heels.
At toon, Terra suddenly got butterflies in her stomach. She hadn't been nervous about dressing up until just that moment. No one at the temple had seen her in anything but sweats and athletic wear and a layer of sweat. On with the show, she thought. Terra took a deep breath and headed over to the second dojo.
There were tables of picked at appetizers outside the dojo for all the people mingling before the ceremony. In the room, everything was decorated with red chrysanthemums and forget-me-nots frozen in icicles. All those empty vases were filled with the frosted flowers. Terra wondered where they came from. She hadn't noticed it among the things Keiko or Botan had shuttling around.
Most people were still mulling about, a small number of them in seats. Most of the people in the room were guests who had come by just the day before or that morning, so she didn't recognize them. Something about them newcomers seemed off, as if their facial features were too sharp or too bright. Maybe they were demons.
"Whoa, Terra!" Yusuke called, catching of her in the back. He looked funny in a suit, but devilishly handsome. He would have been very suave as he sauntered over if it weren't for the goofy grin plastered across his face. "You clean up like a god damned super model," he laughed. Terra's dress hit her knees in a loose a-line cut. It was a deep blue with matching heels, her black tights hiding the bruises from her training. She definitely didn't look like a model, especially without any makeup on, but she appreciated the compliment.
"Not so bad yourself."
"You look lovely," Kurama commented, coming up behind her. Terra jumped a little not realizing he was nearby, let alone so close. "Matches your eyes."
"Hope you didn't spend too much for this," Yusuke said, eyeing her over. "This suit was a rental and it still nearly broke the bank."
"It's from my old wardrobe," Terar explained. "I used to dress up like this on a daily basis. Well, maybe not quite this fancy, but dresses and heels were a staple." She shrugged when Yusuke gawked at her.
"Aye, 'n who do we have 'ere?" A man with the oddest accent she had ever heard walked over and put an arm around Yusuke. He, much like Kurama, had shockingly red hair. Unlike Kurama, it wasn't shinny. Terra was certain he was a demon. His toothy grin showed off pointed teeth and the page boy cap he wore strategically tucked in the tops of his ears that already looked too pointy.
"Jin, this is Terra Nakashima," Kurama offered. "She's Genkai's new pupil. Terra, this is Jin. He's an old fighting buddy of ours."
"Aye, aye, we all know how crazy da ole lady can be. Surprised yah even standing, that I am." Jin's friendliness and utter glee as he shook Terra's hand almost coaxed out a real smile from her. He was simply ecstatic, radiating cheer to everyone around him. "Are you married?" he asked, surprising the rest of them. A blush spread its way across his cheeks quickly. "no! No, not like tha'!" Jin said, wildly shaking his hands in front of him in apology. "I mean, I never met a white girl with a Japanese surname," he explained.
Terra was half Japanese, but her features leaned more towards her mother's genetics. "Well, I never met someone speak Japanese with an Irish brogue."
Jin smiled and turned to Yusuke. "Aye, I like her." He turned his vibrant smile back to Terra. "Spent the first hundred or so years of me life 'round Dublin. The wind there are a beaut." He nodded almost vigorously at the sentiment. "Suppose you never quite lose the accent of your first language."
"My father was Japanese. I got all the pasty white girl genes from my mom. So, no, I'm not married."
"However," Kurama began, "someone's about to be. I think we should take our seats. Shall we?"
Kurama put a hand to Terra's back. She flinched. He took it away ever the slightest so they weren't touching. Terra could still feel his hand behind her despite that. She would have walked away, but she had to ask. "Am I on the side of the bride or the groom?"
There were four by four rows on either side of the aisle. For balance sake, the parties had been divided by Kuwabara's family or school friends, and others. As Terra found out, everyone on the "others" side was either a demon or a psychic except for Keiko, a human with no psychic abilities, and Botan, a spirit.
Terra took a seat in the forth and last row of the bride's side behind Jin and next a boy who looked about thirteen. The strangers she sat near watched her like a shiny new toy that had just been put out on display. The looks in their eyes were telling. Curiosity for the foreign looking girl burst inside of them. Terra wanted nothing more than to be left alone and not be asked any questions. Thankfully, her savior came.
Yusuke stood in front of the crowd and cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention. "Now, I know you're all excited for this thing to start, so if you'll all quiet down, then maybe we can," he laughed. "No eloquent speeches until the reception," he added when one of Kuwabara's family shouted.
Terra noticed that at some point during Yusuke's short announcement, Hiei had made his way in and to his seat. It was worrisome how fast and silently he could move, but it was surprising that she couldn't feel his normal angry energy. It was more surprising to see what he was wearing. Someone had managed to convince the ball of fury to wear a suit. He was striking put together like that, like a hit man or something. Terra pulled her eyes away to look anywhere else.
Yusuke took his spot as best man. Terra watched Kuwabara fiddle with the sash of his traditional wedding garb. They had gone with a theme to fit the temple, but Terra suspected it was also for Yukina's benefit. She seemed like someone who would appreciate the old ways of Japanese culture. Kuwabara was a big man, but his nerves made him look like a scared kitten. He may be tough, but he was also a softy. It was almost funny to watch him so out of place in his own wedding.
From Terra's own experiences of weddings, she knew that Japanese tradition had been largely influenced by western civilization. The idea of a best man was fairly new in the span of Japanese history, for instance. Most modern Japanese women tended to go for the white wedding dress, but Yukina could hardly be called a modern Japanese woman. It was quite shocking to see her walk down the aisle.
Keiko came first, wearing a traditional kimono in powder blue with red flowers at the hem. From the look on Yusuke's face, it could have been their wedding that was about to happen. When Yukina came into view, she was a sight to behold. The epitome of the blushing bride. Yukina hadn't painted her face white or worn the black which, which was a smart choice. The room was dazzled by her near white hair glistening in a perfectly styled hime cut, fresh for the day's event. Yukina wore a classic shiromuku – a beautifully intricate white silk kimono.
Terra remembered a girl she knew who was getting married straight after graduation. The girl had complained because her mother wanted to wear the kimono when she wanted a dress. Terra could understand the girl's desires, but the shiromuku was stunning.
The ceremony itself was also very traditional with the sharing of the sake. Kuwabara almost dropped the first cup when he passed it to Yukina. She gave him a warm smile when it happened. They were so in love.
"Are you crying?"
The voice was barely a whisper. Rinku – at least, that's what Terra thought the boy's name was – looked up at her with an innocent expression. Terra pat her eyes with her thumb, catching tears before they could fall.
"Don't look so alarmed. I could be one of them," Terra whispered back, pointed to the Kuwabara family. A few of the elder women were sobbing so loudly it sounded like they were professional mourners.
Rinku took her response with a shrug and continued to watch the ceremony. Lots of people cry at weddings for a number of reasons. People shed tears of joy, tears of passing, tears of overwhelmed unnamed emotions. Had anyone bothered to look at Terra's face in that moment, however, the tears behind her eyes could only be seen as pain.
"A toast!" Yusuke's voice bellowed over the dull roar of conversation. "To my best friend, Kuwabara. If you were present at my wedding, then much of this speech is repetition of what he said to me as my best man. So, I'm sorry for that." A few people laughed, but everyone was happy to hear the story of their friendship. "Kuwabara and I used to fight each other all the time. We still do. He's never been able to beat me." An indignant hey came from Kuwabara, but it went ignored. "But one day, we found something to fight for. And fight together. We were constantly trying to better ourselves. While he may not be able to beat me in a fight, Kazuma Kuwabara has won out on character. I may be his best man, but he's a better one. Yukina sees that more than anybody. She sees how great of a person Kuwabara truly is. He's loved her from the moment he saw her, and he will love her until the day he dies. I don't have to wish them a happy marriage. I know that as long as they both live, it will be one." Yusuke stood silent for a moment before he shifted his weight slightly. "That's about as sappy as I can get, so you better be thankful, buddy."
There was a hearty applause. Then some more speeches. Terra did her best to pay attention and clap politely, but it was hard to go about acting normal when she was keeping down her deepest pain. The happiness everyone was experiences only pushed her deeper into the depression she had been long running from. Any lightness from the morning's atmosphere had been crushed. She had never felt so heavy.
"Lovely piece of jewelry you have there," one of the men at her table said to Terra, knocking her back to reality. He was blond and tall and one of the demons. Actually, everyone at Terra's table was one of the demons. The ones who had been pointed out as fellow human psychics were sitting with Shizuru and a few of Kuwabar's school friends. Terra felt like she had been dumped at the kids table.
Terra reached her hand up to where the pearl rested between her collarbones. "Thank you." Jeremy's charm was nestled against her chest underneath the fabric of her dress. She hadn't wanted to take it off, even though the second chain clashed a little with her chosen set of jewelry. She would have felt too lost without it.
"And the earrings match, too," the demon purred. "Is the setting silver?"
"White gold."
The blond nodded, eyeing the piece like a theif.
"Don't mind Suzuka," another said. Terra believed this one was Shishiwakamaru. Terra only remembered because such long names had fallen out of favor in recent generations. It dated him to his true age of someone who had lived long beyond what he looked. Everyone shorted his name to Shishi, it seemed, which was easier on the tongue. "He doesn't like other people being prettier than himself. And your necklace is quite pretty."
Terra didn't respond to this.
"Forget her necklace," the tallest one said, cheeks already red with drink. "She's quite pretty." He spoke with an Aussie accent, much like Jeremy had. Terra had grown up bilingual, so both her accents sounded native. Good to know Australians lived up to their stereotypes, in that this one was the first to get drunk.
"Giving up on Natsume?" Rinku asked teasingly.
The large, drunk demon's face got even redder, but not from the alcohol. "Shell be mine one day. I'm sure I made an impression at the last tournament. Practically beat her brother."
"You still lost, you big dummy," Rinku laughed, the rest joining in.
The group of men seemed nice in their own merit. They were genuine – human almost. The prickling sensation that denoted a demon was ever present around them. Just like she could in the city or hiking the mountain, Terra could sense their demonic energy, even if she couldn't read the levels or differentiate it like Genkai was trying to teach her. Without her ability, Terra would have liked them as people, but the prickling was starting to unnerve her. They weren't evil, Terra knew that much. But being around them, knowing what they could do, still stirred fear in the pit of her stomach she couldn't shake.
Terra looked over to where Yukina was, her red eyes full of delight. "If you'll excuse me," Terra said, standing.
People were beginning to mingle, a lull between the toasts and desert. Yukina chatted merrily with some of her new relatives. Terra walked over to where she stood and did her best to intervene without being rude. Kuwabara's aunts walked away which gave Terra space to talk.
"I know we haven't had much chance to get to know each other during my stay here," Terra began, "and for that I hope you forgive me. I've spent most of my time keeping to myself. But, you did so much for me when I was just a stranger." Terra took Yukina's icy hands in her own and squeezed the girl's delicate fingers – hands that had healed her more than once as best she could. "You're one of the sweetest people I have ever me. You deserve someone like Kuwabara. I see the way you love each other. I'm so happy you could have found him."
Yukina pulled Terra's hands close to her chest, holding them between her own like a prayer. "Are you okay?" she asked. Yukina was probably the most sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of those around her, always putting others before herself. She must have heard the hurt behind Terra's words.
Terra nodded quickly and put on her best face. "I think I just need some time alone. It's hard for me to be around so many people. After everything." Her explanation sounded weak, even to her own ears. "But back on topic. Take care of your love. I'm certain it will never fade, but take none of it for granted. Love like yours is a race and precious thing. So, take care of it, okay?"
Yukina smiled brightly. A spark of sympathy rested in her eyes. Yukina held tighter onto Terra's hands. "I will, I promise." Then she let go, leaving Terra to mingle with more guests and give Terra the space she so clearly needed.
Terra began to head out of the dining area, done with the festivities, when Keiko stopped her. "Oh, Terra!" She was surprised to hear her given name from Keiko. She had been overly proper with her for some time. Terra wondered when Keiko had felt comfortable enough to speak so friendly. When had she been accepted as someone other than a guest at the temple? "Are you heading to your room?" Keiko asked.
"Yeah," Terra admitted sheepishly. She felt a little guilty for ducking away like she always did. "Just for a bit."
Keiko bit her lip and adjusted Tomio in her arms. Between the ceremony and the reception, she had gotten her child from his nap. He was now beginning to squirm, fussy from lack of stimulation. There wasn't much to do for a baby at a wedding. "Do you think you can do me a huge favor?"
"Um. Sure." Terra hoped it was nothing too drastic.
"Could you maybe look after Tomio for a bit? He just needs to crawl around, play with some toys. I think all the commotion is bothering him. If it's too much, I understand, but –"
"Keiko, it's fine." Terra smiled down at the little boy. "It's not like I've never baby sat before. Where's his diaper bag? I'll just bring him to my room."
Keiko handed the child over with a relieved smile. "You're an angel." Keiko ran to her table quickly and came back with a pastel stripped knapsack. Before Keiko could start listing where everything was like a worried mother being separated from her child for the first time, Terra told her to enjoy herself at the reception. "I will," Keiko smiled. "Thank you. I can't say it enough."
"Not a problem." Terra looked down at the boy in her arms and smiled again. "We're going to go play. You want that?" she cooed. Tomio giggled a bit in response. Terra looked back up at Keiko who seemed to be having a hard time walking away. "Now go," she told Keiko.
Terra raised Tomio's little arm and used it to wave goodbye to Keiko. Keiko thanked Terra again, and when she made no move to join the reception, Terra took it upon herself to be the first to leave.
Terra went to her room, rocking the baby in her arms with a bit of a bounce to get him to smile. Tomio reached up his little hand and grasped at her necklace. "No, no, that's not a toy," she said. Terra put the baby on her futon so she could take off her exposed jewelry. "I really hope you don't puke." She may have experience babysitting, but that didn't mean she wanted to deal with those kinds of messes. Keeping an eye on the boy, Terra put her pearls away on her dresser.
He was a pretty cute baby – all chubby cheeks and a shock of black hair. "You're going to grow up looking just like your father, aren't you?" Terra zipped open the diaper bag and took out a few play toys. She scattered them on the futon and let the child pick up what he wanted. For a few moments, Terra just stared at the child. He was so happy with so little. She wished life could be that simple, sometimes.
"What are you doing?"
Terra jumped a little at Hiei's voice. She turned to find the fire demon leaning against her open doorway, arms crossed and face hard. He was still wearing a suit, despite disappearing after the ceremony. It was surprisingly well tailored, only enforcing her earlier notion of it making him look like a hit man. Still, it was amusing he was wearing a suit at all. She put her gaze back on Tomio, who was completely unaffected by Hiei's arrival.
"Babysitting," she told him. "What are you doing?"
She didn't like how he opened her door without knocking. When he didn't move or make for a response, Terra decided her best option was to ignore him. If he wanted to give the silent treatment, she could do the same. It wasn't that she had forgotten he was there, but she was startled again when Hiei did speak up.
"Why do you look at him like that?"
She looked back at Hiei, still in her doorway, still with his arms crossed. "Like what?" she asked, unsure what he meant.
He scrutinized her for a moment before placing his eyes on Tomio. Instead of clarifying, he just asked more questions. "Why are you babysitting?"
"Because Keiko asked me to." Terra caught a ball Tomio nearly pushed off the futon. She rolled it back to him. His little hands had trouble grasping the plastic, but when he picked it up he giggled triumphant.
"Why you?"
Terra rolled her eyes. "Isn't that a question for Keiko?" she countered.
He was silent for a few beats long. "I don't trust you."
This wasn't news to Terra. Hiei had made his suspicions clear and never failed to glare at her if they were in the same room for any length of time. Still, his underlying accusation stung. "So you've said." She turned to Hiei and wondered if she was able to hide the hurt from her face. "You really think so low of me that I'd harm a baby?" He didn't respond. Terra shook her head and focused her attention back on Tomio, trying to shake the tension that formed between her shoulders. "Fine. You know what? Think what you'd like. Nothing I say is going to change your mind any."
Tomio crawled towards another one of his play things, a stuffed monkey that squeaked like a dog toy. The child was blissfully unaware of what was going on around him.
Hiei still stood in her doorway. She could feel him. Terra didn't know if it was just because he slept only a wall away from her or if it was because his energy had been so intense when they first met, but it was the only aura she could pick out immediately, even thought it wasn't as angry as it had once been. She wondered how he snuck up on her in the first place before remembering his sheer speed.
"You smile," he said, "when you look at him."
Terra let out a breath of amusement, not looking away from the baby boy. "I smile whenever I see a baby," she told him. Maybe it wasn't always true, but it felt it. Babies, when they weren't keeping you up at night, had an infectious joy about them.
"Why?"
Terra shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's my maternal nature taking over. Maybe I marvel at their innocence. Maybe I just think babies are cute. Does it matter?"
He said nothing in return. Always asking and never giving. Terra remembered the little Hiei had shared about himself their night on the roof together. She wondered what had spurred him to give up even that little bit of information.
For no apparent reason, Tomio started to cry. Terra leaned over to pick him. She was alarmed when Hiei growled. Scooping the baby into her arms, Terra glared at Hiei with as much venom as she cold muster.
"Don't give me that," she snapped lowly. "Babies cry. It's how they communicate." Terra turned to Tomio in her arms and her face softened. "Shh," she cooed. "Don't cry. I've got you." Terra continued to make soft words to the baby she rocked him. He didn't calm down until she found his pacifier and gave it to him. The boy suckled happily on the plastic. "There," she said softly.
Terra looked up to her doorway, but Hiei had vanished. It was then she realized that she now longer felt his aura. She hadn't even noticed.
"Yusuke Urameshi," Terra seethed. "Take your son. Right now." Every time Yusuke opened his mouth to protest, Terra said a firm "no" and continued to hold Tomio in front of her. "I've been watching him for over three hours. Keiko is taking a well-deserved nap. I say that because I fear you've never taken responsibility for your child. I am not his mother. I can only stand babies for so long. Now. Take. Him."
Terra didn't actually believe Yusuke was a bad father. She had seen them together plenty of times. He was often the one to change the diapers, even. But it was enough of a guilt trip to make him take Tomio from her. Yusuke had been having a fun time with all the guys, so she could understand why he didn't want to take responsibility or be seen as the mushy go he became around his boy in front of the guys he pretty much went to war with. Toxic masculinity was the stupidest thing Terra ever had to deal with in her life, but at least Yusuke wasn't so caught up in it he stopped being a good dad.
"Oh, the Shelia's feisty," Chu laughed, slamming his jug of sake onto the table. "Yusuke needs more people to put him in his place." Yusuke grumbled something nasty at Chu and sat down, his son seemingly quite content in his arms.
Terra looked around the room and noticed it was nothing but the demon boys. The reception had officially ended but many of the wedding guests were still celebrating. It seemed like a post-wedding bachelor party. Terra was surprised Kuwabara and Yukina weren't attached at the hip for the night, but she supposed neither of them had time with just their friends in a long time, while they had already been living together for some time. If Terra hadn't found Keiko snoring in her room, the girl would have probably been with Yukina, Botan, and Shizuru – wherever the girls had made camp. She had passed a few of the Kuwabara clan in the kitchen, and caught sight of a few other guests leaving, not being able to stay the night. She supposed the demons were all that were left who Kuwabara wanted to spend his evening with before retiring as a married man for the first time.
Kurama looked up at Terra from behind the lip of his sake cup and gave her a sly grin – more challenging than a real smile. "You should join us," he offered.
It sounded somehow like a trap. Terra shook her head. "I have training in the morning. Genkai's not going to let me have three days off."
Expecting to be able to leave it at that and walk away, Terra was taken aback by the barrage of complaints from all the guys – the exception being Hiei and Kurama, both silent and calculating. It was Kuwabara who took Terra's hand and pulled her down onto one of the cushions. "Come on, Terra," he whined. "It's my wedding day. You have to do as I say."
She looked at his scrunched up begging face and felt her resolve crumble. The cheer of her defeat sounded before she even spoken. "Okay, fine. Geeze."
Jin tried to pass her a drink, but she pushed it back.
"Aw, come on, Terra. Live a little," Yusuke complained.
"I have training in the morning," she repeated pointedly. "I'm not going to Genkai with a hangover."
"I don't know," Chu said with a wink. "Being drunk was the only way I got through the old lady's training."
Terra crossed her arms and gave the large man a bland look. She switched to English and spoke without really thinking. "Well you're a right cunt so I'm not surprised you couldn't hack it sober." Those in the room who spoke English roared with laughter, even the ever put together Kurama. Shishi even spit out their drink in shock. Terra caught the brief slack-jawed expression from Hiei before he schooled his features. She felt a bit proud about having caught him off guard, although she couldn't tell if he understood what she said.
"Wait, what did she say!" Kuwabara asked, deeply upset he was being left out.
"She just put Chu in his place, she did," Jin grinned, raising his cup to her before downing its contents.
"You're an Aussie!" Chu cheered, hand on his stomach as he near toppled with laughter. He'd spoken in English, probably without even realizing it.
"Born in Perth," Terra confirmed, switching back to Japanese for Kuwabara's benefit.
"Yeah, yeah. Beaut of a city last I saw it. Grew up north of there in the shrublands."
"In the shrublands," Terra repeated, thrown off guard. The Australian deserts were uninhabitable. There wasn't enough water, no rivers, for mankind to survive it. She would have an easier time believing he'd lived in the forests among all the pests that would try and kill her if she ever stepped foot there.
Chu nodded vigorously. "No one to bother you fer miles. Me and my mates could fight to our hearts content and no one would even know we was there." He looked her over again. "If you're a proper Shelia, then you can handle a drink with the gents. Come on, give it a go."
She rolled her eyes. Apparently, peer pressure to drink wasn't exclusively a college experience. "If I have one drink will you guys shut up about it?" There seemed to be a resounding yes from the whole party. Terra sighed. Chu was right. One drink wouldn't kill her for the morning. "Fine, but I'm not letting any of you pour for me." Terra looked at all the bottles and uncorked a smooth smelling whiskey. She grabbed an empty tumbler that looked unused and poured herself a double. Without looking at any of them she shot it back and set the empty glass back on the table. "There. One and done."
"You just did a double shot of whiskey with no chaser and kept your face perfectly straight," Yusuke said, dumbfounded. "I don't think even my mom could do that."
Terra quirked an eyebrow. "Dude, you have never been to Australia."
Chu laughed some more. "Add that to your good looks and sharp tongue. Maybe I willforget about Natsume and try to win your affection instead, ay?"
"Please don't," Terra said, her face scrunching up at the prospect.
"Ah, I never have any luck with the ladies," he bemoaned. "Is it the hair?" Chu asked in earnest, running his hands through his purple mohawk.
The conversation peppered out from there. There was some good-natured ribbing that somehow circled back to how the last time they had trained at the temple. "Can't tough it out sober" was a reoccurring jab at Chu that Terra smirked at. She sat back and watched them animatedly discuss their own training with Genkai. They laughed like it was some childhood memory – reminiscing about near death experiences and at Genkai's hand as if the entire thing were one big party game.
"God, I better get out of this while I'm still alive," Terra muttered after Shishi regaled them with a particularly horrifying story.
Kuwabara clapped Terra on the back with a hearty laugh. "She won't kill you, promise."
"Ah, and 'ere we are takin' up all ta air talkin' 'n Terra 'ere's hardly said two words," Jin said in a rapid fire that Terra could barely understand him. "I dunno 'bout you but I never met no human girl as interestin' as Urameshi."
"I'm not interesting," Terra interjected with a furrowed brow. She felt like the new toy in the display case again, how all of them were staring at her. She couldn't understand why they were so fascinated.
"No, you're just mysterious," Kuwabara mumbled before taking another sip of sake.
"Mysterious?" she questioned, incredulous. Terra had been called many things during her life; weird, stupid, hipster, loner, pathetic, amazing, brilliant, beautiful, disgusting… but never mysterious.
Yusuke laughed at Terra's expression. He shook his head with a gleeful sort of superiority. "All we know about you is what Kurama coaxed out of you when you were here this summer."
"I was in shock," Terra protested. "It had to be coaxed out of me." She had to admit to herself that she hadn't been very talkative during her stay here. But that didn't make her mysterious. Reclusive, private, but not like some kind of spy. Terra remembered Hiei calling her just that and realized the perception she was giving the world was very different than she had ever imagined. "Fuck it. Ask me anything. We'll play twenty questions."
Everyone in the room seem caught off guard by her blatant switch in privacy. It gave her a sense of triumph to know she was somehow more than what these boys had presumed – the same kind of surge of adrenaline that came from beating Conner at a game of Horse or getting the best grade in a chem-lab when the teacher thought you were the dumbest one in the class. There was always something satisfying subverting expectations. Although, a part of her knew her fuck it reaction stemmed from Hiei's remark. She was bitter that he thought so little of her. If they didn't trust her because the didn't know her? Then fine. Let them know her. Terra crossed her arms and waited for a question.
"Well, we've already discovered where you're from," Kurama began. His eyes were alight with the challenge of a puzzle. Terra recalled Yusuke saying he was a fox demon in a human body. Kurama had a nose that could read chemo signals and eyes that didn't miss the tiniest detail. He had a mind sharper than Hiei's sword, which could make him far more dangerous. The only reason Terra wasn't a nervous wreck under his calculating gaze was because she truly didn't have anything to hide, despite Hiei's suspicions to the later. "But we don't know where you're going."
"That's not a question," she pointed out.
"See," Kuwabara said, slurring a little bit. "That's what makes you so mysterious. You don't just talk about yourself. We gotta have a game about it."
"Ask a question," she said, slapping him lightly in the arm with the back of her hand.
"What do you hope to get out of Genkai's training?" Kurama asked, swinging it out of the ballpark on his first try.
Terra thought about it for a moment. How did one explain to a group of strangers that life had lost meaning but that didn't mean she didn't want to stop living it? Terra looked down at her empty tumbler and almost wished she had the liberty to actually get drunk with them for this. "After what happened this summer," she started, unsure if the visiting demons knew about how she first came to the temple. She wasn't willing to go there, though. "I sort of… lost myself, I guess. Coming back here had been a choice about needing to change what I had been doing in order to find myself again. I don't. I don't know where I'm going from here. All I know is that here is where I need to be right now."
Terra looked back at Kurama expecting another question at the ready. Kurama returned Terra's gaze with a look that was trying to put pieces of a puzzle together, but he didn't say anything. Next to him, Terra could feel Hiei's stare boring into her, but Terra refused to look his way. The fox demon gave one of his doctor-smiles and looked at the others, inviting them to ask the next question.
"What happened this summer?" Suzaki asked. He was calm about it, almost as if he didn't care. It was an act, though, given away by the keen look in his eye.
Before Terra could explain, Yusuke shot a hand out. "Ah! No. Nope. Don't answer that. That doesn't count. If it's something I already know it's not one of the questions!"
Terra rolled her eyes and gestured for him to continue. If he was going to steal the question for himself, it was up to him to let his demon friends know what went down.
"Terra and a couple of dudes hiked the mountain. They were coming up the east side and got attacked by the some of the stupid D classers making camp there. I had to dispatch them for being total fucking morons. Like, who breaks the rules when one of the fucking Demon Kings is at the freaking temple!?" Terra hadn't heard before what had happened to the demons who attacked her. Dispatched. Terra had a feeling it was more along the lines of death. She couldn't say she felt bad about it, or even knowing Yusuke killed. Especially after what those things had done. "They, uh. They had killed her friends."
All eyes fell on her. She stared blankly at the far wall, not letting the memories of that night reach her. Terra was far from healed, but she also wouldn't show them how badly she was still wounded from it all.
There were a few beats of silence where the others were trying to muster up words to continue.
"What's your favorite color?" Rinku asked.
Terra made a face. "Really? That's what you want to use you're question on? I'll let you take it back if you don't repeat yourself."
"Well the only thing I've wanted to know about the girl," Shishiwakamaru said, flipping his hair like some high school queen bee stereotype, "is if she can fight."
Hiei snorted from his spot in the back of the room, which Terra ignored.
"I could probably hold my own in bar fight in Tokyo, but I wouldn't stand a chance against any of you," she told them.
"She could win a dance battle!" Kuwabara cut in. Terra shot him a look, surprised. She hadn't realized any of them knew she danced. Except Hiei, that is. "I've walked by on some mornings when you got your headphones in," he explained.
Terra felt a blush burn at her cheeks. "Well that's embarrassing."
"When'd you learn that?" Kuwabara asked.
She scratched at the corner of her mouth as she thought back. "Uh, I started ballet with I was three, I think. I've taken a few other styles, but mostly ballet."
"Must be good then," Jin whistled. "Starting as a wee babe like tha'."
"Not really," she shrugged. "Haven't taken a class since high school. I'm not actually a dancer. It's just for fun."
"Are ye gonna dance fer us now, then?" Jin asked, a twinkle in his eye.
"Fuck no." It wasn't a party trick. Even if it were, Terra wasn't about to do anything for this lot beyond answering a few questions.
Jin pouted like Terra had just thrown his hopes and dreams into the river. "Ah, tha's no fun! Come on, lass, I'll dance with ye if it would make you say yes." He threw her a wink.
Terra shook her head. Boys. All of them were the same. "No." She repeated. "I'm not dancing with anyone. Full stop."
"Why did you choose Japan over Australia?" Kurama asked, turning the conversation back to more reasonable terms. He must have known about her previous dual citizenship. The more she spoke with Kurama, the more she was certain he had done research on her at some point.
It was a complicated answer. Terra had told herself it was because she was planning on staying in Tokyo after she got out of school, but it went beyond that. Terra had imagined a future with Jeremy. He was Australian through and through. While he planned on doing business in Japan, he would have kept his nationality. If she naturalized as a Japanese citizen, then if they ever had children those children would benefit from the same dual citizenship Terra had. It wasn't something she had ever even discussed with Jeremy. She wasn't even sure if she wanted children. But she had already been planning her life around a future that she would never get to see.
Terra gave them the short answer.
"I didn't have plans to leave Tokyo after graduation," she told them. "It's easier to stay in the country if I'm a citizen. Math's not that hard."
"D'you like girls or boys?" Chu asked, his drunken smile the same look of every Chad in Perth.
Terra felt like she was back in college playing a game of never-have-I-ever. The connotation was unavoidable in Japanese that he was asking about sexual preference than if he had asked in English. She might have been able to weasel her way out of answering had that been the case. "I like anyone I fall in love with," she told them. "Gender is secondary."
"Cheers to that," Chu smirked. "Too many humans get hung up on who they need to make a fuckin' baby. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good Shelia, but when you live as long as we do that sort of shit don't really matter."
Terra was a bit surprised to hear that, but she supposed it made sense. When you didn't have to repopulate at the same speed, people wouldn't be forced into marriages or create a taboo around homosexual relationships. Maybe everyone was more naturally inclined to all genders, only society kept them in firm boxes of A or B and sometimes C.
"Ever been in love?" Chu pushed on, latching onto her words with far more wits about him than the level of alcohol in his system would have suggested.
"Yes."
Chu raised his eyebrows for a moment and took a long swallow of sake. "You a virgin?"
Kuwabara nearly choked next to her. Yusuke did a spit take. Before either of them could breathe enough to scold Chu for such a direct question, Terra let out a dry laugh. While knowing that Kuwabara had caught her dancing had led her to blush, she never understood the taboo over sex talk. Maybe it came from spending most of her time around boys like Conner and Jeremy – she was used to locker-room talk.
"If this is your idea of flirting, it's definitely not working, mate," she told him in English. Then, in Japanese, "No. Not that it'll ever matter to you."
"I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS!" Kuwabara yelled, covering his hands over his ears.
"SHUT UP KUWABARA!" Yusuke yelled even louder. "YOU'LL WAKE UP TOMIO!"
"Oh, calm down," she snapped, rolling her eyes at them. "It's not like I'm your baby sister or anything." This didn't seem to matter. Kuwabara just kept holding his ears and shaking his head back and forth. "Okay, someone change the subject before Kuwabara has a heart attack. Nothing else sexual. I don't think the man of the hour can handle it."
"What if I ask you all the dirty questions this way?" Chu asked in English, wetting his lips with another pull from his sake jug. "He wouldn't even need to know."
"That counts as a question," she told him. "And if you're trying to get some kind of rise out of me that's not going to work."
Chu peeled over in laughter. "Ah, you know how to knock of man off his high horse. I like you, Shelia, I do."
"Is that your natural hair color?" Suzuka asked, wistfully staring at the top of her head.
Terra touched the fluff at the nape of her neck and frowned. She had dyed it only just before starting training. The roots weren't even showing yet. "Uh, no."
"I knew it," he exclaimed. "I can smell it on you." Suzuka touched his own hair sadly. "I haven't dyed my hair in ages. Why do you go for such a boring color?'
Terra shrugged. It was a light brown, almost blonde but not quite. "It makes me look less Japanese. In school it was somehow better to be a gaijin than a hafu."
"But you're not in school anymore," Kuwabara said. "Why keep it up?"
Terra thought back to when she had been packing up her life into a storage unit. Her natural dark brown had framed her face. She hadn't recognized herself every time she caught her reflection. The choice to become stronger, to train with Genkai and find a new purpose to her life, was because she was lost. Losing yourself like that, well, as much as she needed change and to become something, she clung onto at least one thing she could identify as her. Terra felt like a bit of a hypocrite again. The more she analyzed herself, the more of a maze she wound through. She couldn't always make sense of her choices.
"Habit, I guess."
They accepted that as answer enough and moved on. "Batman or Superman?" Yusuke asked. None of the demons seemed to know who they were, sans Kurama.
"Batman. And really? You say you guys want to get to know me and you give me an either-or? Pathetic question."
"Any tattoos?" Jin winked. "I kno' it's winter but you sure did cover yerself head ta toe tonight."
She had chosen her dress for its long sleeves, and her tights were completely opaque. Between her bruises and her scars, Terra hadn't wanted to show any skin. "Two." She said. "I won't say where nor what they are. I will say Kurama has probably seen them both." Terra looked over to the redhead, whose calculating expression had been covered by a cool mask.
"I have," he admitted. Jin and Chu nagged at Kurama to tell them what he had seen, but the fox stayed silent on this. Terra silently thanked him for that.
"Is your biggest scar the one you got this summer?" Kuwabara asked. "Because those bandages were no joke."
"Why are all the dumb questions you guys ask about my body?" Terra countered, eyebrow raised in a challenge.
Yusuke laughed. "Come on, Nakashima," he said, overenunciating her family name. "Answer the question."
"Yeah. It's a big scar. Next?"
"What's your biggest fear?"
Hiei's words cut across the din of the boy's celebrating and laughter. She was surprised he had spoken up at all. When Terra turn to look at him, his sharp red eyes bore into her, mouth in a flat, unamused line. He was the only one in the room not treating this like a fun party game. Even Kurama was enjoying himself as if taking a crack at a puzzle he was slowly discovering pieces of.
"Good question." Terra looked away, finding space between the shoulders of two of the boys so she could safely stare at nothing. Memories flooded her of sirens and moonlight and crunching metal and hospital rooms and screams echoing through the forest. She resisted the urge to touch the necklace hidden under her dress. "I have a lot of nightmares," she admitted. "Things that have happened to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. I'm just waiting for the next nightmare to unfold. I guess. I guess I'm afraid of what will be left of me if anything else is taken away."
Her answer tempered the mood of the room. Even Shishi, who had largely lost interest in the whole affair and had been speaking with Suzuka the entire time, watched her with eyes of something akin to pity. There was a moment of silence before Rinku's boyish innocence spoke up. "Nightmares? Like what?"
Terra looked at the boy. She knew Rinku was actually older than herself, but he still had the demeanor of a child. She wondered how demon aging worked, in that regard. If all demons stayed in their infantile and teenage stages far longer than it took a human to completely mature. What was the lifespan of a human to that of a fly? "I've almost died, probably too frequently for anyone not intentionally putting themselves in harms way. Trauma like that sticks with you, even when you sleep."
"Terra's just like me!" Yusuke cheered. "Well, minus the demon bits. But she died once and came back to life, too. Only she didn't need some stinkin' pacifier breath's help to do it."
"Yes, Terra," Kurama interjected. "What was the accident that led your heart to stop beating for those two minutes?"
Terra gave Kurama a dark look. He knew it was a subject she didn't want to talk about. Perhaps that's why he brought it up at all.
"Well, come on," Jin smiled, looking her over with newfound excitement. "What happened?"
With a sigh, she told them. "I was in a car crash. It was really bad. Twelve car pileup on the highway coming back from the airport. The car in front of us, well, on top of us, was on fire. I was in the hospital for a week." The doctors at the hospital had to wait until she could stay conscious and coherent for more than a few minutes at a time before telling her she had lost her parents. Terra hadn't even been fitted for a cast on her leg yet before lawyers showed up asking for signatures.
"Us?" Kurama asked, picking up on that particular pronoun.
Terra looked down at the table. She hated him for making her talk about this. "My parents. I was in the back seat. They died." She stood, smoothing down the fabric of her dress. She didn't look at any of them. "That was twenty. I'm going to go."
No one said a word as she made her way out of the room.