AN: Merry Christmas, or happy whatever you may be celebrating! Here's a gift from me to you! :D No reviews, because it's 1 am where I am and I still need to wrap presents!

AN2: On the site I read information on Groundhog, it was Ground Hog, but I really don't care. No other name is like that, besides Optimus', and I'll just make that a Prime thing. So it's Groundhog now, for my story.

AN3: For those of you who might like the idea of B/M, you now have a whipped cream mental image. Mwahaha. And for those of you who don't: You now have a whipped cream mental image. Mwahaha.

Chapter 47
Whipped Cream

Groundhog was already filed away as a member of NEST officially. It had only been a week since he had arrived on base. The four of them were at the target range, watching Ironhide, Blaster, and Jazz teach Skyfire some moves. Despite having defensive weaponry, the mech didn't have much going on skill wise, he just knew how to put on a good act.

Barricade had been called to Optimus' office, the Prime wanting to speak about the possibilities of any of his other teammates landing on Earth, and whether or not they might defect. Miles was off plotting against his Guardian.

"What I do not understand," Groundhog started, "Is how he plans to get away with it, why Barricade puts up with all of this in general, and why only Miles calls him Barry."

"Barricade will bite anyone else who calls him that." Bumblebee smirked, "I prefer being rabies free, thank you."

The teens laughed, but Groundhog merely stared at him.

"Google it." Bumblebee urged, rolling his optics.

Groundhog did so, Bumblebee and the teens left to wait until the Decepticon Neutral was fully satisfied that he completely understood what the yellow Autobot had meant, even if it was only in a joking sense. This took about a minute.

"He only allows Miles to call him that, and anyone else gets a negative response." Groundhog stated, not bothering to make it sound like a question because it wasn't. Bumblebee nodded, and Groundhog continued. "But why Miles?"

Sam and Bumblebee thought of how to explain it, while Trent just sat back and watched the wheels turn.

Groundhog was determined to get to know everything, including the how's and why's of how things ran. Barricade, being familiar territory, was his first goal. This just happened to include Miles, seeing as the teen somehow had a lot to do with his old team leader.

"Start with how they met." Groundhog suggested.

Sam thought, "Well, after Mission City I had kind of let our friendship drift apart, not wanting to drag Miles into the whole mess. So naturally, he somehow has the luck to find what looks like a completely normal, if not slightly in need of some good love and care, police car. He decided he'd do his best to fix this random car up, seeing as it looked abandoned, and if he needed help he'd go to Mikaela's, whose father owns a car repair shop. At that time it was because he thought it would give him a chance to reconnect with me, so I guess it's my fault that he stuck to the car, but then again Miles always has been rather random."

"According to Barricade, who was in light stasis at the time, he woke up when Miles tried to hotwire him. The only reason he left Miles alone is because he decided it would be quicker and easier to let Miles try to fix him than to let his own repair systems do all the work." Bumblebee added, then grinned. "He ended up revealing himself when Miles tried to wash him off. Apparently he had just gotten creek water, it was really cold, and Barricade had been in recharge when Miles had tossed the water on him."

Groundhog smirked, "And how long did it take him to stop being scared after Barricade freaked out on him?"

Sam, Bumblebee, and Trent all looked at each other, grinning.

"Comm Skyfire and asked him to send you the file of Miles first realizing Barricade wasn't just a random police car." Bumblebee instructed.

Groundhog did so, receiving the data burst quickly even as Skyfire attempted to shake off Jazz from his leg. He watched it twice, using the first time to adjust to seeing things from an organics small viewpoint, and recognizing everything, and then the second to actually pay attention.

"Huh." He said when he was done. He'd have expected fearful reaction, not just initial shock and then Miles telling Barricade off. Groundhog could understand how that had thrown his old boss for a loop.

"Yeah, Miles is pretty much a wild card to everyone but Witwacky there." Trent said, shaking his head in amusement.

"So they were alone together for awhile?" Groundhog asked, looking to Sam now.

Sam nodded, "I'm not sure for how long, though. A good while, at least."

"No one actually saw the progression into a mutual friendship, then." Another statement, and Sam laughed.

"No, I wish. That would have been better than seeing one of the twins, either set, grope Ratch. Though I know for sure they weren't as close as they are now when 'Cade first came." Sam leaned back in his seat.

"Indeed?"

Trent snorted, "Indeed, my mech. I don't think I'll ever tell them they fight like an old married couple again, it's too disturbing."

Sam sat up with interest, looking at a grinning Trent. Groundhog paused to google what exactly the jock was referring to, before asking him to explain further. Bumblebee grinned, changing positions slightly as he mentioned he just so happened to be in the vicinity and catch it all as well. Naturally he started to show the two who hadn't seen the whole thing a projection of it.

It started with Bumblebee looking between Barricade and Miles, the two fighting about the ex-con's bullying of Wheelie. Miles was complaining about how Mikaela always got angry at him for whatever Barricade did, but it turned into a nonsense argument pretty quickly. Trent could be seen standing near Miles, watching in amusement.

"You two fight like an old married couple." Trent said finally, smirking.

Barricade and Miles looked at Trent, before looking at each other.

"I don't mind that the secret's out, but I don't think I'll like everyone knowing I'm the femme in the relationship." Miles stated, appearing completely serious.

"If it makes you feel less stereotyped, I can make the sandwiches." Barricade drawled, "Besides, I hear food can be incorporated in human foreplay to spice up the sex life. I know you enjoy whip cream."

"You making me a sandwich? That's almost too hot to handle, let alone whipped cream!"

"I could lick it off you after we put it on your-"

"Okay, you two win!" Trent interrupted quickly, slapping a hand over his eyes and walking the opposite direction. "I'll never say that again! Now I need to go watch cartoons, get those horrifying images out of my head!"

He didn't get to see Miles and Barricade smirk at each other, or hear Bumblebee break out into laughter.

Bumblebee cut the projection, Sam laughing while Trent rolled his eyes. Groundhog frowned, staying quiet for a moment. He accessed the internet, looked up the term whip cream, but remained lost.

"I'm confused, put the whip cream on Miles' what?" Groundhog asked.

There was silence for a moment before Bumblebee, Sam, and Trent broke into laughter.

"May I ask a question based on a previous conversation held between you two that I have recently overheard?" Groundhog asked, seeming innocent.

Barricade still eyed him warily. The ex-con knew that if Groundhog was actually asking for permission to ask, then it probably wasn't good, or he was really confused. Possibly both.

"Sure, go ahead." Miles answered for them, making himself comfortable in a spot on Barricade's leg, just close enough that he could lean his back against the mech's chasis.

They were in the Autobot rec-room, along with Sam, Bumblebee, Trent, Jazz, Epps, Will, Ironhide, and Skyfire's holoform. After an hour of watching Ironhide, Jazz, and Blaster train Skyfire, they had all met there, minus Skyfire, but gaining two more humans.

"Despite the sarcastic performance it was given in, using whipped cream you would lick it off of Miles' what?"

The aforementioned teen bit his lip to keep from laughing, grinning up at the ex-con. "Time to give our little boy the Talk, Barry. I'll leave this one up to you."

Groundhog wasn't sure whether he should be offended that he had been referred to as their sparkling, confused, slightly freaked out, or a combination of them all. When Barricade snorted, he decided to go with offended and growled at the teen. Miles simply waved him off, immune to growling after having dealt with Barricade for so long.

"Not doing this out loud." That was all Barricade said, by way of explanation when he and Groundhog dropped out of the conversation completely.

"I apparently missed something completely entertaining and juicy." Epps said, frowning at Miles. "I now hate you."

"You'll get over it quickly."

"He's just being histrionic." Will said, receiving blank looks from the four other humans in the room. "Sorry, I was helping Prowl out earlier. Pretty sure my I.Q. went up at least twenty points. I said Epps was being a drama queen."

"Hey!" Epps huffed indignantly, Jazz laughing at his Charge.

Ironhide snorted, rolling his optics at the tiny organics. Barricade and Groundhog decided to switch back to actual speech again. They let everyone know this by Groundhog looking down at Miles, and Miles grinning.

"Joking aside, as I really don't want to imagine Lancaster in any type of physical relationship," Trent tried not to grin when Miles blew a kiss to him, "Would a Cybertronian and a human both be able to get off if they did get together?"

"Of course." Skyfire answered, "The holoform can be programmed to perceive certain touches as pleasurable, and also to perform certain functions, like getting an erection. Semen would be lacking, but we would still be able to overload even in holoform. If an organic touched our spark, pleasure could be achieved that way. The organic would receive it too, being able to feel through a quick made connection by our sparks to their energy. That might still feel the need to have a bit more physical stimulus, or humping, but that would just be instincts. They would feel what the Cybertronian was feeling, and vice versa."

"You've thought about that a lot, Sky." Sam said, unsure whether or not to be intrigued, or wanting to stop listening.

"Robert introduced me to NEST fan-fiction." Skyfire explained, sounding just slightly defensive. Epps grinned proudly.

"Fan-fiction?" Groundhog asked, and Bumblebee sent him a data burst. Groundhog took a moment to read several, before looking back at Miles and Barricade and laughing. Barricade growled.

"I really don't want to know what you were reading. Some of those are just disturbing." Miles muttered in disgust, garnering a laugh from everyone else besides Groundhog and Barricade.

Optimus was relaxing in his office, a rare opportunity presenting itself in the form of a break, and some good high grade energon with two close friends. These being his CMO and SIC, two people he'd trust with his life in a spark pulse.

"Groundhog is assimilating well, then?" He asked, just after Ratchet mentioned touching up the Decepticon Neutral's paint job.

Prowl nodded, "He appears to be. He spends most of his time in Barricade's presence, which helps get him more used to the organics, seeing as Barricade spends most of his time with Miles, and Miles spends enough time being social for all three of them, but drags them along anyway."

"Did he and Prowler the II give you a surprise visit again, Mr. Grumpy?" Ratchet asked, grinning.

Optimus tried not to laugh as his normally stoic SIC glared at his CMO. For some inexplicable reason, Prowler the II seemed to really irritate Prowl, even more than a pranking spree from the twins. Miles and Jazz had taken to randomly visiting the SIC with the stuffed bear whenever he was deep in his work, too deep to even notice their presence, and leave the bear somewhere surprising for him to find. They had the poor SIC convinced the bear was moving on it's own for almost a week.

"Whether he and it did or not is not relevant to the conversation, Ratchet."

"Prowler the II would be hurt if he heard you calling him an it."

"Prowler the II is an inanimate object."

"So that's why you glitched when yo-"

Optimus purposefully cleared his intakes, grinning. "It is nice to know that Groundhog is getting on well."

"Your dream of the war coming to an end might not be that far away, youngling. All the con's are defecting, after all." Ratchet smirked, slapping his leader on the back. Hard.

"Wheelie is a xenopholiac, Soundwave loves Sparklings, Cassetticons are always loyal, Skyfire most likely would have been an Autobot anyway." Prowl chimed in, battle computer computing the illogical nature of Ratchet's statement.

"What about Barricade then, smartaft?" Ratchet sounded annoyed, but they were all used to Prowl by now.

"Miles is a force all of his own." Prowl deadpanned, only grinning when Ratchet and Optimus laughed.

"I think all organics are." Optimus said, raising his cube in a toast.

Their small little party would continue, and the CMO and SIC would find themselves still in Optimus' office when they were woken up by Blaster's voice coming over the base wide loudspeaker.

"Team Alpha Minor B under attack in space. Urgent back up requested."