Hi, everybody! I got good news and bad news. The good news is I'm back with a new chapter! The bad news is the fourth "Hotel Transylvania" movie's theatrical release has been cancelled due to rising cases of the COVID-19 pandemic in America. Anyway, this is it! Eye of the tiger, ladies and gentlemen! This chapter is the story's climax where the wrestling competition takes place! Remember, not Eye of the Moose or Bull, Eye of the Tiger!
At the stadium in Transylvania's city, at 8:30 PM in the evening, hundreds of people and monsters have gathered for the wrestling competition. The sun has setted and the sky is in a dusky dark color.
"Welcome, everyone, to the Smash 'N Crash competition." The announcer addressed the audience. "Today, we have many competitors today and the crowd is going wild. I can hardly wait to see some total beatdown in this stadium. Our competitors are: Sneezel the weasel, Terror Flea, Boxy the Gorilla, Grand wrestling champion Queen Snakera, Jiku the Fossil and finally, Count Dracula! Six competitors, one champion! Alright, let's get ready to RUMBLE!"
The first round is Dracula vs. Sneezel the Weasel.
"Here's your first guy, a renown pushover called Sneezel." Frank addressed Drac. "The guy's a wuss and underconditioned to actually fight due to his bad case of the sniffles. He won't be any trouble."
"LET THE FIGHT BEGIN!" The announcer shouted to start the fight.
Dracula and Sneezel meet in the center and the weasel coughs and wheezes.
"Why have you bothered to come and fight when you're obviously unwell, weasel?" Dracula asked his opponent.
"You're right! Maybe I should just…just…" Before Sneezel could finish his sentence, he dozes off and falls to the ground.
"Wow, that was anti-climactic!" The announcer spoke. "Then again, Sneezel does have a long record of losing. Maybe it's about time he retires for good! Or at least until he does something about his sickness!"
"Ha! I didn't even have to touch him." Dracula gloated.
The second round begins where Boxy the gorilla faces off with Jiku.
"Hey, ugly!" Boxy insulted the fossil. "Drop dead like all your ancestors!"
"Are you talking to me?" Jiku snapped.
"Uh-oh, he called him ugly!" Jiku's giant amoeba fight promoter remarked.
"Are you talking to ME?"
"Shouldn't have done that!"
"ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!"
"Now he's in for it!"
"They call me Mr. Ugly!" Jiku punches Boxy in slow motion, then begins punching him five times a second.
"Aunty Em, is that you?" Boxy asked dazedly before he blacks out.
"One, two, three, YOU'RE OUT!" The coach called.
"Holy crap!" Frank exclaimed as he, Dracula and the other monsters have watched the entire match. "He's better than I thought!"
The third round is where Dracula faces off with Terror Flea.
"Now introducing the Latino nightmare from Mexico, The Terror Flea!" The announcer announced.
"Doesn't sound too bad. I mean, a flea?" Dracula asked as he thought facing off with a flea would be easy enough for him but is proven wrong when a giant Lutador flea appears on the other side of the ring and roars. "I'm dead!"
"Yeah." Frank agreed. "There's gonna be a chance that not all fleas are pipsqueaks. There's gonna be bruisers like him around. All I can say is, be careful around this guy. He's fast and mean, and I heard stories his fast punches are like that of a hurricane."
A ding goes off, signaling for the fight to start. Dracula and Terror Flea face off at the center.
"Prepare to meet an agonizing pain that you'll never forget, vampire!" The giant flea said in his Spanish language.
"Sorry, I don't believe I caught that." Dracula said with confusion.
Terror Flea tries to punch, but the vampire dodges and knocks down Terror Flea with his magical abilities.
"You got him, Drac!" Frank congratulated him.
Terror Flea quickly gets back on his feet and says in his Spanish language that Dracula doesn't understand, "Oh, so that's how want it to go down, huh? No matter, I'll be dancing on your dead corpse soon, Lord of Darkness!"
"More persistent than the last one, I see." The vampire retorted. "No matter, allow me to show you why monsters do not disrespect Dracula, Lord of Darkness and owner of Hotel Transylvania!" He pounces on Terror Flea, takes off with him and started to spin around very fast.
"(I'm getting dizzy!)" Dracula slams the humongous flea into the ground. "(OUCHIE! My thorax! Ow! Ow! My aching thorax!)"
"Whoa! Count Dracula is incredible and has potential!" The announcer spoke.
Dracula lands as he gloats. "A pity a worthy opponent like this giant parasite can only last so long."
"Holy crap, Mike!" Jiku exclaimed to his amoeba called Mike. "That vampire is a good fighter."
"Well, Jiku, this vampire is a known owner of the nearby hotel that welcomes monsters." Mike replied.
"When I fight him, I'll crush him like a soda can!"
The fourth round is where Queen Snakera competes Terror Flea.
"Despite his obvious defeat, Terror Flea has been called back by the all-time champion!" The announcer spoke.
"Bring that jerk on!" Terror Flea shouted in his Spanish language. "I'll tie her up in a million, bazillion knots! HAH!" He gasps upon seeing the champion show herself as a large, long anaconda with a female human chest. "(What the hell?! Holy frijoles!)"
"You are unworthy to be in this tournament!" Snakera shouted. "Prepare to be removed from the face of existence!" She moves her large tail in for the attack.
"(MOMMY! SOMEBODY GET ME MY MOMMY!)" Terror Flea runs for it, but Snakera tail whips him to the ground.
"Oh my god! She obliterated Terror Flea with just one blow!" The announcer addressed over the speaker. "This gigantic amazon queen is a goddess among wrestlers!"
"Aw, crap." Frank whimpered.
"You have a plan for this?" Wayne asked.
"Before the fight with her, let's do a little…sabotage."
"Oh, I get 'cha!" Murray exclaimed.
"Frank, isn't that cheating?" Griffin asked.
"Yeah, but we just need to do it without physically cheating." Frank answered. "Any of you have any plans? This fat snake could crush the bones out of Dracula easily."
"Hmmm…I think I know what to do." Wayne whispered.
Round five: Dracula vs. Queen Snakera!
"Oh, boy, everyone!" The announcer addressed the audience with fear. "Things are certainly gonna get bloody around here! After seeing Queen Snakera unleash a can of whoopdonkey on Terror Flea, I highly doubt Count Dracula is going to beat her. No opponent has survived even a minute against her brutally strong crushing coils. She is said to have given many of her opponents scoliosis after instantly breaking their spines with her coils. This vampire won't last even two seconds."
"Lord of Darkness, HAH!" Snakera gloated. "I have been given nothing but weak fools today! I'll stuff the vampire like a turkey on Thanksgiving dinner!"
"Dang, she's good!" Dracula shouted with wide eyes.
"Okay, Drac!" Frank advised him. "You can beat this fatty, but it'll be hard and brutal. Try going for the throat. Anacondas may be one of the most dangerous animals in South America, believe me. I've seen the movie 'Anaconda' before, but if there's one thing I know about anacondas, it's their weak spots, and that's the throat! That move is such a classic against anacondas, that no matter how brave or courageous they are, they'll give up and whine like a little baby. I know that because I managed to scare off an anaconda by just grabbing it by the throat."
"Okay, but how am I supposed to grab it? This anaconda is unbeatable! She could strangle me to death in five seconds."
"Easy! Just disorientate her. Find some way to distract her from her urge to squeeze you so hard, that all your zits will pop."
"Ew! But genius!"
"But isn't she a giant?" Wayne asked with concern. "So, her neck is HUGE!"
"Well, that's easy!" Frank answered. "All you have to do is instantly choke it. That works every time. Even for the toughest snakes. Just squeeze it hard enough and Bob's your uncle, another one bites to dust!"
"Okay, I guess that'll be enough for me." Dracula hesitantly agreed.
A ding goes off, signaling the two opponents to meet in the center of the ring, which they do.
"I promise you, vampire, your pain shall be swift." Snakera said.
"Now tell me, are you really a queen?" Dracula asked. "I mean, like, do you actually have an army and rule a nation?"
The anaconda growls and attempts to smack him with her tail, but Dracula quickly dodges. "CURSES! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD ACTUALLY DODGE!"
"You'd be amazed what years of fighting taught by my father has given me."
Snakera attacks again and Dracula dodges and dodges her other oncoming attacks. "Well, well! You've proven to be a worthy adversary! How futile because I'll just beat you THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY!" She wraps her coils around Dracula and squeezes him as she cackles. "You're clearly a fool, vampire!"
The vampire shrieks in pain. "Are you certain it's ME who is a fool?" He frees his arms, grabs Snakera's beck and squeezes tightly.
Snakera chokes and tries gasping for air as she spoke, "I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP! YOU WIN! MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!"
Dracula lets go of her and she slithers away crying like a baby while he laughs. "BUH-BYE!"
"Nice work with the info, Griffin." Frank complemented The Invisible Man. "How'd you learn something like that?"
"When an anaconda almost swallowed me, I learned to just touch the throat." Griffin answered. "Anaconda throats are the most vulnerable weak spots of any animal on Earth."
"Okay, radical!"
"Amazing." Jiku complained. "Count Dracula conquered the great Snakera herself with little problem."
"Obviously, this guy is lucky." Mike replied.
"Luck is just a superstition, Mike! I think there's comething poisoning the ocean. His last two fights he fought fairly, but this one, I am not so certain. Mike, I want you to keep an eye on that monster created by Victor Frankenstein, werewolf, mummy and the Invisible Man with glasses. I'm beginning to think there's something fishy going on here."
"You mean other than yourself?" Mike scoffs and laughs. "I'm priceless!"
"Mike, I like you, but don't force me to dissident you."
"OK, big guy! Take it easy! I'm going!"
We've now come to our story's climax where the wrestling tournament takes place. The sixth and final round of the competition where Dracula will face off with Jiku will take place in the next chapter. About the competitors in the tournament, Sneezel the Weasel will be voiced by Andy Dick, Terror Flea will be voiced by Antonio Banderas, Boxy the Gorilla will be voiced by Tracy Morgan, Queen Snakera will be voiced by Charlize Theron and Jiku the Fossil will be voiced by Timothy Olyphant.
Will Dracula win by beating Jiku and win the prize money that Frank needs in order to pay Queen Grinder? Find out in the next chapter!