In the Wake of What Follows
Chapter Thirty-One: Endings and Beginnings
When Kurama entered the infirmary, Terra was slumped on the ground next to Hiei's bed. Her wrist was still in his grip like a fiery handcuff and cold sweat plastered her hair to her face. A teetering portly demon followed Kurama inside, sending them all nervous looks as he hustled to the unoccupied side of the cot.
Kurama knelt by Terra after giving Hiei a cursory look over. He hooked one finger under Terra's chin and gently lifted. His brow pinched in worry. He was looking at her like she was a puzzle again. "What did you do?" he asked. The lack of anger and disappointment was surprising considering the last time Terra did something stupid.
"I tried to," Terra took a deep breath, trembling from the small effort of speaking, "purge the…" She swallowed against her dry mouth.
The demon that arrived with Kurama filled in the blanks. "She stopped the darkness flame in its tracks," he said, awed.
"Yes, I saw," Kurama said, eyes still scanning Terra's face for more clues. "But what did you do?"
Terra wanted to let her head fall forward. She wanted to fall asleep. "Used my energy," Terra sighed, "to stop it. Had to… had to make sure." Her eyes slid shut.
"Terra," Kurama said, shaking her chin briefly. "You had to make sure what?"
"I didn't kill him."
"No, he's very much alive," the other demon said. Terra could feel his energy, like fresh water. It was soothing just to be near.
"What's he?" Terra murmured.
"He's taking care of Hiei's injuries, best he can." Kurama hefted a large sigh, more world weary than Terra had ever heard before. The finger under her chin slipped away, but Terra managed to keep her head raised. Kurama looked between her and where Hiei held onto her wrist with an amused quirk of his lips. "Hiei will be hibernating for some time after that fight."
Terra's headache was starting to fade, but she still had to swallow back nausea to talk. "You think he'll let go anytime soon?"
Kurama's smirk grew. "Doubtful. Can you stand?"
Terra lifted her free hand and Kurama pulled her up. She stumbled a bit, but was able to balance herself. "I need to sleep."
"Can you walk at all?"
"Maybe," Terra shrugged.
"If you're up for a short walk once the medic is done, I can carry Hiei. Or I can find you a cot to lay next to him here."
Terra shook her head at that. Since doing her stupid fucking magic trick, it had been harder to filter and ignore demonic energies. It was overwhelming, and hopefully the main reason she felt so terrible. "I'll walk."
Luckily, she didn't have to wait long. The medic couldn't do much. He healed the normal cuts and scrapes, but the blackened skin was wrapped in clean bandages with little other treatment. Kurama promised he'd make an ointment to help the healing process, but the burns were made by something that we can't pour our energy into to fix.
When they were ready, Kurama put Hiei on his back like an overgrown child at the fair. Terra had to walk a little in front of Kurama so that Hiei's arm could drop over Kurama's shoulder. There was an elevator that took them down to the ground floor, leading away from the stadium. Their hotel felt like a lifetime away, but then Kurama led her to only one building over.
She didn't have the brain power to question it. He seemed familiar with the layout and even had a door key. Based on the pile of half destroyed clothing on the floor, this was Hiei's room. Maybe it was the fact they were isolated now, maybe it was just the time passing, but Terra could finally think enough for it to click. She was about to pass out in Hiei's bed, next to Hiei.
"Not how I expected this to happen," she muttered.
Kurama choked back a laugh. "No, I suppose not." Kurama put a gentle hand to her elbow. "Come, rest. Your energy reserves are low and he won't be letting go anytime soon."
Terra nodded and carefully climbed onto the mattress as Kurama managed to lay Hiei next to her. This close, his heat was like a warm blanket, so it didn't matter that they hadn't pulled back the covers. "Are you leaving?" she asked when Kurama stepped away. Terra wasn't sure she was ready for whatever happened when Hiei woke up without some kind of buffer.
"Afraid so. I need to continue the investigation. But please trust I wouldn't abandon you if I didn't think you were in good hands, Terra."
Next to her, Hiei's face was lax in a way she had never seen it before. He looked so young and beaten black and blue. "What if it's my hands that you should worry about?" she whispered. The push of her breath rustled the hair that framed Hiei's face. "I'm not fully sure what I even did."
Kurama was silent for a moment. Terra closed her eyes against Hiei's vulnerable rest and any thought masked behind Kurama's eyes. "Sleep, Terra," Kurama said. "Your hands are only daggers when you wish them to be. He's safe with you."
"Okay," Terra breathed with a meekness she was ashamed of. She was so tired.
It seemed one breath to the next that Terra fluttered her eyes open. The late dusk sent dark shadows and plum light into the room. There was little outside the window. Only ghastly clouds and winged creatures in flight some distance away. It wasn't her normal view.
She was encompassed by an incredible warmth and it took a moment to remember. The weight of his body was pressed against her back, his searing grip still circled around her wrist which in turn draped his arm across her body. His breath tickled the nape of her neck, and Terra swallowed down a passion she hadn't let herself dwell on before.
As subtle as a feather drifting in the wind, Hiei's thumb stroked up and down the pulse of Terra's wrist. The breath in her lungs stilled as time narrowed. "Hiei?" she dared ask the silence. He responded with a press of lips to the crook of her neck. Terra's heart skipped and raced double time, not convinced she wasn't dreaming.
Hiei finally let go of her wrist and she felt it's loss like a piece of herself. He trailed his finger up her arm, taking his time to trace every fresh scab and scar from her fight with Rizu. "You are a fool," he said into her skin, his voice soft and open in a way she had never heard it before. "And you are fragile." He spoke like the trickle of a broken damn that had not yet given way to flooding. "Yet you are powerful. And dangerous. You are reckless and clever in equal measure." His hand had reached her shoulder, and dipped down to trace the line of her collarbone. Terra could hardly think from the touch. Hiei pressed another kiss to the back of her neck, light as a butterfly's wing. "And you make it hard to resist."
"Resist?" She wanted to see his face, the look in his ruby eyes, the curve of his lips, but she wasn't going to risk breaking this moment.
Hiei's lips against her opened the barest inch, the flat of his teeth scraping slightly against her skin.
All of Kurama's cryptic explanations came together in that moment. Terra understood what Hiei couldn't say. A bite. A mark. A permanent bond. If it was something he was trying to resist, then it must be something he wanted. And the last demon who tried to mark Terra had wound up dead in a back alley of Tokyo.
Somehow this was worse than a broken heart.
Carefully, Terra shifted to face Hiei. She had waited long enough. On her back, she caught Hiei's eye. Her throat closed around anger and desperation. "You want me…" she asked, looking for any sign of denial, "so much you would…" Terra couldn't find the breath to finish the question.
A moment passed that seemed to as if a whole lifetime was shared, his eyes never so open for her to read. "I think," he told her, "that should we get any closer, I wouldn't be able to control this impulse that's been tormenting me for some time now."
"And it would kill you," Terra supplied, defeated. Considering what unnatural pathways she had to force her energy into just to save him, another attempt could pull her apart and still leave him dead. They were both reckless fools, but they also knew when an opponent was too great a match. "You could have told me sooner."
He touched beneath her eye and Terra felt the steam before she realized she had shed a tear. "I hoped to avoid the matter all together," he admitted. His touch lingered on her cheek. This wasn't easy for him either.
"So that's it then?" she asked, a bitter hopelessness choking her words. "We give up and move on?" Terra reached up to touch his cheek the same as he touched her, but Hiei flinched away. Was it even possible for him to move on? If it wasn't just some notion of forever in his mind but truly that all encompassing desire Kurama had once described?
His lack of answer was answer enough.
"Can we just stay here like this for a while?" Terra asked. "You're still injured and I'm still drained. And if I never get to have this again then-" Terra blinked back the blur of tears. Fuck this hurt. "I won't even try to kiss you," she tried to joke. It fell flat, even as his gaze dipped briefly to her lips. "Just don't leave me tonight. I don't want to be alone."
Hiei closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. His third eye was a strange sensation as it moved beneath its closed lid, but Terra found even that comforting. "I can't promise I'll be here when you wake," he said.
Terra closed her eyes and nodded, a barely visible gesture that Hiei was sure to feel. He laid back, adjusting his injured arm so it curled above Terra's head, and pulled her to rest her head against his chest. There was no heartbeat to soothe herself with, only the rise and fall of his breath and the current of the ocean you hear inside a seashell.
She gave herself the barest permission of touch, resting her hand on the tight muscle of Hiei's torso. One night. One night to carry with her. One night to say goodbye.
The tournament was over. Someone Terra had no attachment to was crowned. She stood by Kurama and Yusuke at the same spot they entered the makai, waiting for Kuwabara to open a personal gateway.
When Terra returned to her room that morning, Kurama had taken one look at her and wrapped her in a hug. "I can't think of a way around it," Terra said.
"I wish I had been wrong about the cause of his distance," Kurama admitted. "I'm sorry, Terra."
She tried to hide how much it hurt. Terra wasn't sure Yusuke had picked up on it, but Chuu had given her a funny look when they said goodbye. "Maybe I'll call you for a rebound," Terra shrugged when he asked if she was okay.
"Oh, Shelia," he had sighed. Chuu's hold was more comforting than Kurama's, who hadn't seemed sure how to place his arms or how tight he could risk. "I'll give him a good one-two for you, eh?"
Terra chuckled but told him not to try. It wasn't Hiei's fault, afterall. No use starting a fight like that for her sake.
When the portal finally came, and Terra stepped through, it was like breathing fresh oxygen for the first time. She had gotten so used to the oppressive weight of so many demonic energies that without them Terra was a little light headed.
Keiko called Yusuke's name and wrapped her arms around his neck, happily being lifted at the waist and spun in a circle before kissing. Yukina was at Kuwabara's side, holding Tomio. They both smiled at Terra and she walked over before they could notice anything off.
Shizuru was off to the side, cigarette between her lips. Terra couldn't help but catch how Kurama's eye lit up with sly coyness as he plucked it from her mouth and snuffed it out on the ground with his shoe.
"I wish you would stop doing that," Shizuru told him dryly.
"I wish you would stop smoking," he responded, a calculated doctor smile not doing its all to hide his pleased reaction.
"How was Hiei?" Kuwabara asked, cutting straight to the marrow without even trying.
Terra forced a grin. "Fine. He's fine." Kuwabara and Yukina shared a look, having seen clear through her. "He's gone back to Alaric. To take over Mukuro's former position. He has to bring notice to the new king that Yomi has been encroaching on their territory to shift the current balance. Lots of political drama, but I'm sure he'll be good at dealing with it despite his temper. Or, maybe because of it."
Yukina giggled a little, but still looked at Terra with a concern that made Terra shift her weight uncomfortably. "And you?" she asked, too soft and sweet for Terra to respond with anything but the truth.
"I understand, now," Terra said. She had steeled herself to this truth. It hurt, but in a dull way. An ache that spread to all her muscles so that it no longer stood out. "We can't. I'll get over it, eventually."
"Terra…" Yukina looked ready to cry for her.
"I'm okay. Really."
Kuwabara looked ready to say something when Keiko commanded everyone's attention. "Thank you, Yukina," she said, scooping Tomio into her arms. "I'm glad we're all here. And to celebrate your return, I wanted to treat you all at my family's restaurant, and to also announce…" Keiko looked to Yusuke with pure love and pride and joy.
"I knocked her up again!" Yusuke cheered.
Keiko slapped Yusuke's arm and laughed. There were gasps and cheers and words of congratulations all around. Later, at the restaurant, Terra asked how long she knew.
"Around the time you came to stay at ours before I brought you back to the temple," Keiko confessed.
Terra nodded. "Thought as much. Fits with the conversation we had. And this." Terra tapped her own neck where Keiko's mark was hidden by the collar of her shirt. Keiko blushed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Terra had stilled a moment, heart clenched at the memory of Hiei's lips, the gentle scrape of his lips.
To know him the way Keiko knew Yusuke, the way Kuwabara knew Yukina… It was a longing Terra pushed down.
"I'm really happy for you, Keiko," Terra said. It was sincere and full of a love for her friend that was powerful enough to eclipse whatever pain was hiding in her heart.
Keiko squeezed Terra's hand, beaming.
Terra looked around the table. While the flirtations between Shizuru and Kuwabara were thin and loose, they still had a gravitational pull to each other that Terra thought undeniable. She was the only one alone. Left with nothing but the lingering memory of a perfect heat, standing just before a fire or sleeping in the sun.
On her other side, Kurama turned to Terra with a smile that Terra supposed was meant to be comforting. It felt clinical, but Terra could see the honest care behind it. "So," he asked, "what do you plan to do now?"
Terra shook her head, a wry quirk of her lips showing her exasperation to his perceptive questions. "You know, I never seem to have answers for half the things you ask me."
"No worries," he said. "You have time."
"The time of a mortal," Terra sighed. "A far cry from your whims in life."
"You forget I live a mortal life now, too."
Terra shrugged. "But will that really be your end?" she asked.
He averted his eye, a melancholic smile twisting his face. "I don't really know."
"Fair enough," she agreed, sporting much the same look. "Fair enough."